Talk about the 9-month sleep regression

I had a request to put up a post where you guys could talk about how you're dealing with or not dealing well with the 9-month sleep regression.

To recap, this is the period encompassing the developmental leap at week 37 and the one at week 46. Very very often there's also some teething mixed in there, and learning to crawl and/or pull up and/or cruise and/or walk.

Which means you've got a brain working on developmental stuff that won't let the kid sleep, a brain and body working on movement that won't let the kid sleep, and maybe some random shooting or throbbing gum and jaw pain in there, too.

In other words, you're going to have to accept that the kid just can't sleep straight through until some of this is over with.

(We haven't even mentioned how this sleep regression can affect other stuff, too, like naps and mood and clinginess and what they'll eat and won't eat. Some kids who keep sleeping at night just wig out during the day--that's their particular reaction to the developmental spurts.)

Which means your plan shifts from Get Kid To Stay Asleep to Maximize Sleep For Everyone Else. This is not the time to pretend you know what's going on or that you have it all under control. This is not the time to say "your job is this and mine is that." It's the time to divide up the schedule so everyone gets 5 hours at a stretch if possible. If one of you has to go to sleep at 8 pm and take the 8-1 shift so the other has the 1-6 shift, do it.

Here are the important things to remember: Lots of us have been through it. You will get through it. There is nothing inherently wrong with your child--this is normal. Hideous and demoralizing, but normal. You're doing a good job.

Now, commiserators?

Comments

[cheesefairy]

This age rang a bell for me (my son is now 21 months old and my parental amnesia is well entrenched) so I looked it up and this is what I wrote in my blog one night when he was exactly 8.5 months old:

"Would someone please tell me that the baby that has been screaming for hours every night and each time he wakes will only settle for me, no longer for his father, is going to go back to what so recently passed for normal VERY SOON and thus I do not have to wrack my already excessively taxed mind to figure out the quickest way to trade him for a nice crate of wine?

8.5 months old: worst age yet. Discuss."

What worked:
-switching off w/ husband while we both wore
- earplugs
- shushing/white noise like you do with newborns
- soothing, tinny lullabies played by a "baby tad" doll
- me humming the tune of "Lullaby" over and over and over until my tongue and lips were numb
- I was so certain I was going to be FOREVER sleeping in my son's room every night FOREVER while he slept in my arms that it was kismet when I saw and bought a la-z-boy at a consignment store. I think I actually spent one night in it. He went back to "normal" at around 9.5 months.
- dosing liberally with ibuprofen whenever teething was suspected but really, it wasn't too much teething. really, it was just One of Those Things where he needed comfort (as I"m thinking back to the things that worked...repetition, being held, being nursed, repetition, everything is the same).

However, this age really did encompass the lowest moments (so far) in my parenting life. I yelled. I slammed doors. I almost started smoking after a gazillion years without. I think the Wonder Weeks should print the sections on these regressions in bold, red type.

[sarah]

Joceline -- 5 months was the worst for me. I hated it. 4-6 months was the worst generally, but 5 months was the peak of misery. After 6 months things starting looking up -- he started solids (was he hungry before?); cut two teeth (was he miserable because he was teething?); and started sitting well independently (was he frustrated because he couldn't do anything yet?). Have faith. Things do get better!!!

[peanut]

once again i come on this site and like magic there are the answers i am looking for! its almost spooky! i love you women by the way - reading what you have written is just a god send. i have a 9mos old who is waking me up to nurse every 2 hours. he has always been a bad sleeper. he slept through one night - christmas day! i think it was my present.......i got so excited that it would be a regular thing-what a fool i was! i really want to reply to @jocelyn that you have read my mind. do women just bulls**t eachother about baby sleeping? if i had a pound (i'm in the uk..) for every b***h who has said 'you should stop breastfeeding and just give him formula..mine sleeps for 15 hours straight on fricking cow&gate'? yeah yeah blah blah...i just don't believe it? and i think the fact that i am still breastfeeding him makes some women think i think i am better than them? which i don't of course it's just worked out for us. so thank you all - i am now going to start lying and say he sleeps like an angel. if nothing else just to change the subject that everyone who speaks to me is such an expert on... feed him cereal before bed, put him in a gro bag, let him cry it out he is playing with you, give him formula for hungry baby's blah blah none of it works or i don't want to try it. cio?when i can feed him and he just falls asleep again?
anyway my rant is over - lack of sleep does this - as you all say 'this too will pass'
thank you to everyone who has posted on here about this and all subjects because you are all like life savers to me.......

[Lisa]

What Hedra said, about "I've never regretted my decision to comfort him first and maintain my sleep separately" (or words to that effect - sorry, can't find the exact quote above just now). I'm not judging anyone else for CIO or variations thereof - every kid is different - but, for us, with a massive tension-increaser who slept erratically at best (anywhere from one to 10 wakings per night over the first 12 months), it helped me stay sane to keep my needs and the kid's separate in my mind.

That said, a few ideas/tips:

1) Teething:

T. is/was a hard teether (he's now 2.2 and PRAISE THE LORD THE LAST 4 MOLARS ARE BREAKING THROUGH HIS LOVINGLY-MEDICATED GUMS AS WE SPEAK. Ahem.).

Tylenol never did much, but Motrin really helps. A lot. If he's teething, I give him the recommended dose whenever he asks, as long as the minimum 6 hours have passed. (We signed a bit early on, and taught him the ASL "pain" sign at 10 months, which was a lifesaver.)

I spoke to a friend who's a pain researcher at UCSF, and she noted that Tylenol (along with meds such as coedine and vicodin) targets a narrower set of pain receptors (Cox-1) than do Motrin and other ibuprofin meds (Cox 1 & 2, I think). Many people respond much better to one class than another - for me, Cox 1 meds do nothing (Tylenol) or make me nauseated and loopy without abating pain (the hard stuff). Looks like T's similar in that way. If your child's over 6 months and Tylenol doesn't seem to be helping much (and if your ped. agrees), try the Motrin. It also lasts longer - though closer to 6 than 8 hours for fast-metabolism types.

Also, we had some success with the Hyland's and/or Boiron homeopathic teething meds for daytime.

2) Anemia:

T. was diagnosed at 11 months as having severe anemia - apparently, I don't pass on iron in my milk well! - which turned out to be tanking his sleep from 6-11 months. Started iron drops, and in one week he went from 10 to 2 wakings a night; naps increased from 20-40 minutes to 90 minutes.

The takeaway here: It's rare, but if your child has trouble staying asleep, it could be worthwhile to do the standard lead/iron/etc. blood test earlier (9 mos.) rather than later.

[Lisa]

Jocelyn and Peanut: I just smiled sweetly and said only "I hate the whole idea of 'good' vs. 'bad' sleepers." They got uncomfortable quick. Heh.

[Jen]

The thing is with the CIO v. not folks is I think EACH side thinks the other is judging them for their choice (maybe they are; I'm not).
And, also with the "how long does your baby sleep" business . . . a LOADED question. My little one did 12 hours by 12 weeks due to nothing I did. She just takes after me in that regard. And, people would always think I was lying or smug when they asked how long she slept. (Why ask me then?) So, now I just say that she sleeps well (which she does except for the illness/teething/developmental spurt thing). And, I try not to ask others. I usu stick with "hopefully, you're getting some sleep." If they want to talk about it, I let them raise it.

[sue]

@paola -ah, yes, the constant nursing. I counted one day last week and it seems that I spend 6-8 hours during the day nursing, and then nurse constantly at night. it's a wonder my nipples don't fall off!

I'm glad to hear it calms down in another month or two..

[Kristie]

Wow! So many great comments I'm sure, wish I had time to read them all now, but I don't (i'll be playing catch-up later), here is my experience:

In truth I can't remember all that much from 9 months. Maybe because it is all that hazy? I believe that is about when Moosie progressed from requiring nursing then rocking for combined total of 40 min to an hour AND waking frequently to not sleeping in her crib at all. The second we set her in, regardless how deeply asleep we thought she was and how close our arms were to falling off, she would wake up and start crying. Argh. We ended up putting a twin mattress on the floor next to our bed. I nurse her to sleep and then gently extract myself from her. We are still doing this at 13 months! Moosie seems to only regress, not recover from the regressions.

[Joceline]

Thanks to those of you who responded about the potential liars in my life! It certainly makes me feel better...or at least less crazy!

[Melba]

No advice, just comisery. Munchkin will be 10 months next week. Her sleep has gone to complete crap that last 4 weeks. She used to sleep through the night (12 hours) very reliably. Not any more. I must admit it is getting better though... she slept through last night, but the night before had wakings, and tonight probably will, but there doesn't seem to be any pattern at all. One night she's up 6 times, the next she sleeps right through. I'm not keeping track but in general it seems I'm getting up less than say 3 weeks ago. Or maybe I'm just getting used to it... who knows

She's got so much going on right now though so its no wonder. She's trying with all her might to crawl but just can't get it. A lot of belly flopping around and rolling. Major frustration on her part. She's also discovered the joy in feeding herself and shuns the spoon. Meals take for freaking ever and she doesn't eat as much as she did with purees. Oh, and she's gotten a tooth a week for the past 4 weeks and has another coming in right now. And did I mention the violent diarrhea that came with the teething? Diaper rash on her back all the way up to her neck because she didn't seem to mind laying in her explosive blow-out for a couple hours at night before crying out to wake me.

Delightful. Yeesh.

[muser]

Wow. My son is 10months next week. I have exactly what BrooklynGirl has. Sleeps beautifully until 11.30pm then awake every 1-2 hours. A baby who previously didn't like to sleep with us now spends a few hours a night in our bed. I've just got through a week of clinginess and general bad mood in the day so I'm happy about that. But I look forward to a decent night's sleep.

[Amy]

@Jen and others--

I also think the CIO folks vs. those against it depends a lot upon their personal experience. All three of my kids have reacted to sleep differently. The first built tension so when I finally tried CIO at about 10 months (out of sheer desperation!) it was a disaster (this was long before I knew anything about regressions). The second slept beautifully from 6 weeks on... and anytime her sleep seemed to slightly regress, a few minutes (literally, 1-2 minutes!) of fussing (not even crying!) always set her back on track. Then there's my third (10.5 mos right now) who seems to be a combo tension releaser/builder (Moxie, let's see you take that one on!). He often cries out for about 30 seconds to a minute when laid down... and then... *might* settle down, or *might* build tension. The trick is to let him cry out enough to determine whether he's releasing or building. But that's not an exact science... and if he's building... well, you are in for a long-term resettling program. So it doesn't behoove us to let him CIO. Ah, the joys of motherhood. I'm not a CIO-er or anti-CIO-er at heart... but I've had such varying experiences with it that I tend just to tell new moms "Do whatever works for you and your baby." My point is (and yes, I am trying to make a point!) that I think a lot of people who come down staunchly on one side of the debate or the other only feel strongly about the one that worked for their children.

[Jill]

@joceline - They're not all liars. Some kids sleep, some don't. My guy slept from 10PM to 7AM every night from about 3 months til 6.5 months. Even on vacation with one day to adjust for a time change. It was awesome. And when he stopped sleeping through, he has never looked back. He's 15 months now. So "good sleepers" can backfire on you later. Don't let them be smug. I never was - I swear! I will agree with one of the pp's that I didn't do ANYTHING to get him to sleep. He jsut did it on his own. Which is why I keep thinking it will just "get better" here. But it hasn't.

I'm trying now to do some stuff. We've started putting him down drowsy so he falls asleep in the crib. We have ha d alot of success with that. But he's still waking up. 2-4 times a night. And I sleep with him in the guest room from about 3AM on. That's the only way we cope at all. I really think that if I could convince my husband to take a weekend and just do all of the night wakings, that we might break the cycle. Ineed to get tough on this.

[katie]

Hmmm... my son is 9 months today, and I would think we were in the middle of this regression if it weren't for the fact that his sleeping has been TERRIBLE FOR MONTHS!!! Like a few others have said, it went down hill for the 4 month regression (actually started at 3.5 months) and we've only had brief glimpses of goodness in between. I think the occasional night with a 6-8 hour stretch has stopped me from going insane, but the rest of the time it's been a total nightmare.

Our biggest problem is that our son is wildly inconsistent, so there's never any kind of predictable pattern from week to week (and sometimes even day to day) even when it's at it's worst.

He also has reflux and it seems to have spiked recently. Either that, or he's worked out that we will be more attentive and pick him up quicker if he screams as if in pain.

He is currently crawling, standing, learning words and there is absolutely no stopping him. So not only do I have my hands fuller than full during the day, but I get no sleep at night either!

Most nights he wakes screaming or wailing and has turned himself around in his cot and is on all fours. We have him in sleeping bags/sacks and it doesn't stop him from getting up on his knees, although he doesn't stand unless I'm in the room and not attending to him. I would like to try a leg wrap inside the sleeping bag but I have no idea how to make it inpenetrable!

Honestly, why people have a second child after experiencing these kinds of sleep dramas is beyond me. This kid is destined to be an only child.

[hedra]

Lisa, the anemia thing - not from your milk, most likely. FAR more likely to be due to when the cord was clamped. ACOG is now recommending delayed cord clamping (3 minutes for vaginal births, 1 minute or more if possible for c-sections), because after doing some research (since it was never really researched before, d'oh!), it was discovered that clamping the cord immediately after birth doesn't prevent anything bad (they thought it would prevent overload of blood in the baby, a rare but potentially serious issue), and does prevent full blood supply to the baby. Early clamping (the 'usual' modern way) actually CAUSES the anemia in the first year thing. Babies whose cords were clamped 'late' (that is, when they naturally do on their own, contracting down and all) did not develop anemia in the first year, breastfed or not.

Since there's no benefit to early clamping, and a ~10% risk of harm (that's the rate of anemia in the first year for breastfed babies, it's 3% for formula-fed ones), it's not being recommended anymore. But changing habits is a challenge, so anyone who's having more kids, DO bring it up - it should be protocol at this point to wait before clamping and cutting (and to NOT mess with the cord to make it clamp itself early) unless there's a severe crisis that can't wait at least a minute to handle.

(M had anemia, it never occurred to me that it would affect her sleep... so add that to the reasons on my list, too!)

As for the lying about sleep thing - breastmilk DOES increase arousals sensitivity, and that's one of the reasons researchers think that breastfeeding protects against SIDS. Formula-fed kids rouse as many times (if I recall correctly), but are more prone to stirring and not quite waking, while breastfed kids do peak a bit higher and are more likely to wake. The differences overlap, but that's one of the reasons you'll hear the 'formula makes my baby sleep' thing - it is more the other way around 'breastmilk helps my baby rouse herself'. This sucks, but it is protective, so ... well, I just deal.

And, I got one good sleeper out of three, so for that one, who was sleeping 5 hours at 5 weeks, 6 at 6 weeks, and up from there... it was fabulous. I also figured out really quick that it wasn't anything I was doing, but was just his constitution. He's naturally just a deeper sleeper than the others. He's heck to wake, now when I need him to get up for school. And I'm dreading the waking the teen for school thing with him... pay now, or pay later! The teen waking issue lasts a lot longer... (and yes, some people lie about the sleep!)

[Maura]

@Jocelin - I wasn't lying when I said mine slept through the night. Of course, I considered "sleeping through the night" to be going down at 7:30pm, waking up once to nurse at around 3:30am, then going right back down until 7:30am. I did try to soften the blow, though, since I know it's such a rough subject for so many parents. I would usually say, in a self deprecating manner, "Oh, he sleeps through the night. It's OBVIOUSLY due to my superior parenting skills. NO, I'm just kidding. I have no idea how I got to be so lucky!" or something along those lines.

@Lisa - Tylenol (acetaminophen) is a non-specific pain reliever and anti-fever medicine. It doesn't act anywhere alone the Cox pathway. We don't actually know how it works, we just know it does. Both codeine and vicodin are synthetic opioids - same class as morphine - which explains why you get nauseated when you take them. Unless you have REALLY severe pain, opioids/opiates can cause severe nausea. Motrin (ibuprofen) is a non-specific Cox inhibitor (1&2). Cox-1 is actually a protective agent in the body, and when it's inhibited it can cause some gastrointestinal upset, that's why some people get upset stomachs and/or ulcers from ibuprofen, although you have to take a lot for a long time to get that. Cox-2 is the agent responsible for pain and inflammation. So, tylenol helps pain/fever, motrin helps pain/fever/inflammation, which is why it can be so helpful for teething, since it's a process involving a lot of inflammation.

Knowing what I know about drugs makes me really hesitant to use tylenol once a child is old enough to use motrin instead. Motrin is much safer, and lasts longer.

[Sam]

I've been wondering if we've hit the 9 month regression early - simply because he's teething with the upper front two teeth (finally have broken through) and he's SO BUSY with cruising (and has for awhile). He wakes up (either in his crib or our bed) and immediately sits up, all sleep dazed, and then progresses to standing. He's been co-sleeping with us since birth, and while we are ready to move him to his crib (for our own sleep, really, and his too) we've decided not to make any major sleep plans until 9 months has passed. He does spend the earlier parts of the night in his crib (sometimes starting out in the swing) and we're happy with that right now.

I swear that sometimes he will wake up EVERY SINGLE HOUR but I think we've figured out if he gets a true "supper" he does stay asleep longer, even though he is still primarily breastfed. I've been haunting you, Moxie, and all the comments trying to gain wisdom! But being patient and knowing it will pass is our best bet for now.

[sam]

My baby is 31 weeks and in the last week has started to cry at bedtime and wake every hour or 2 during the night - I didn't think a sleep regression was due then. Does anyone know if this could be the 26 week dvelopmental leap late or the 37 week leap early? Could separation anxiety be the cause? I have no idea...

[marsupial jones]

i didn't get to read through all the posts, but this is a great topic. i feel for and with everyone.

my son is 10 months today. he has never been the best sleeper, no more than 4 hours at a stretch. like lots of your pnuts, he was up a lot, wouldn't fall asleep in his crib, and would be up for 2 hours at a time in the night. i spent many hours and $$$ driving this guy around at night, listening to BBC overnight. i was not a CIO mom. but we did it.

i let him cry himself to sleep at 9.5 months for a nap. it took 45 minutes. i rubbed his back and kissed him but did not pick him up every 5 minutes. after that, it took less than a week for him to LOVE his crib and be glad to go to bed. he still fusses a bit, but when i peek in, he's playing or cuddling his blanket and doing well. he's happy, less clingy, plucky, and took his first steps today. i was horrified, terrified to let him cry. he's not sleeping tons better at night, but he gets one 3-4 hour stretch the first time around, no nursing down, no co-sleeping and he will go down for almost 1.5 hours per nap w/o me nursing or driving him. that is a great feat. next week we'll start weaning him off night nursings.

so, the point is, CIO wasn't so bad for me. i'm glad we did it. he is happier, we're all happier. he was ready for it. i'm glad we didn't wait and glad we didn't do it earlier.

and i tell myself this: someday he will be 10 and sleep a little better and someday he'll be 14 and will want nothing to do with me and my husband and we'll have "our time" back. it helps a little.

[Nancy]

Our twins are 8.5 months old -- we're heading straight into this. Yay! Right now though, and for months, really, they have been such good sleepers. BabyB has had some early evening wakeups in the last week, but the worst ones only require a minute of cuddling to settle her. I'm not sure she really wakes up at all. She's getting better and better - no longer gets stuck having rolled onto her tummy, can find her own paci, etc. BabyA isn't showing any interest in rolling yet, so who knows what she'll be like when that kicks in. Both are teething quite a bit but nothing has broken through yet.

All I can do is hope for the best and know that whenever the regression happens, it'll pass. (reminded of this by reading this site and the Wonder Weeks book for each leap)

PS I wrote in when the girls were 3 months old asking what I was supposed to DO with them all day -- happy to report that we figured that out and have being doing great ever since -- thank you Moxie & commenters!!

[Nancy]

Doh... I meant to say, I wrote in when the girls were three WEEKS old

[hedra]

@sam, there are kids who don't hit the schedules. It's a normal pattern, but I know two kids who seemed to have a different pattern. What the moms in both cases did was to just assume that if it looked like a fussy stage, it was either an illness (earache, cold), teething, or a fussy stage. The child wasn't lying or faking it or whatever their peers tried to convince them it was, it was real, and it was as much a problem for their child as for them. Taking it that way, just assuming that it is real, they coped just fine. Or as fine as any parent does during one, anyway.

Good luck!

[sam]

@ Hedra. Thanks for that. I agree, she certainly isn't happy at waking all the time, in fact, she is desparate to get back to sleep. And also...she woke with a really snotty nose this morning, so she was is feeling under the weather. I certainly wake more often when I have a cold and can't breathe properly.

We're coping by sharing the nights. She isn't thrilled to be comforted by Daddy, but there has been a huge improvement in the last 2 nights (I'm working on the 3 day thing). So last night, he was able to rock her back to sleep much quicker than the previous night. We had to change something as I couldn't keep up with all the wakings. Hopefully, once she has learned to be comforted by her Daddy, we will be able to share the nights more often when she goes through these fussy stages. Her *normal* pattern is 2 nightwakings, and I can just about cope with that (I certainly miss it when we regress). Lets hope we get back to that soon...for her sake and mine!!

[TerriK]

I am so grateful for this discussion. I have had an excellent experience as a first time mother. No colic, great sleeper, great eater, no horror stories...until now. Pey Pey is 9 months old as of last Thursday and for the past three weeks I have been pretty sure that aliens came and got my baby and left me with this one that does not sleep...at least not at night. He takes a great nap ( 2-2 and 1/2 hours) starting around 10 and then another lite nap around 4....we have a set bedtime routine that we have used from the beginning...but nothing prepared me for this 9 month regression. He goes down after a bottle and a little rocking...still awake but drowsy...sleeps for about 3 hours and then is up about every hour to hour and a half for the rest of the night. Our pediatrician thought it might be night terrors at first but that did not feel right to me plus the timing did not match up....I am just so grateful to know that this is normal and other people are going through the same thing. For the past 9 months I have felt like a mad scientist...trying this and that to see what worked and what didn't... I was afraid in all of that I had done something terribly wrong! Thanks for the info and especially the encouragement.

[Carri]

Just want to follow up b/c a few of you mentioned reflux. We went through that, too. Zantac and all. I will honestly say that cutting out dairy made all the difference. She even went off of meds. I really refused to believe it for a long time (I heart dairy), but my husband convinced me to give it a shot for a week and all the symptoms stopped. At 6 months I began to slowly reintroduce it as she was also starting solids and now she is symptom and med free! Thanks heavens for soy ice cream.

[No Naps]

My 8.5 month old started pulling up and cruising about 2 weeks ago. She literally went form pulling up to cruising in a matter of days.

Now, naps are a nightmare. She begins crying as soon as I walk into her room with her. She fights me for naps. She fights me on the changing table. She even screams when I put in her in play yard so I can go to the bathroom, for goodness sake! I'm about to go insane. I understand that she really just wants to be on the go & anything that restricts her makes her upset. But, really, aren't naps necessary?

She is still sleeping pretty well at night (knock on wood), but the daytime is taking it's toll on me. I thought about looking at employment ads so I might consider going back to work.

Of course, when my husband comes home, she is chipper and doesn't even squirm when he changes her diaper. I can't believe she is already responding differently to us. *sigh*

[No Naps]

My 8.5 month old started pulling up and cruising about 2 weeks ago. She literally went form pulling up to cruising in a matter of days.

Now, naps are a nightmare. She begins crying as soon as I walk into her room with her. She fights me for naps. She fights me on the changing table. She even screams when I put in her in play yard so I can go to the bathroom, for goodness sake! I'm about to go insane. I understand that she really just wants to be on the go & anything that restricts her makes her upset. But, really, aren't naps necessary?

She is still sleeping pretty well at night (knock on wood), but the daytime is taking it's toll on me. I thought about looking at employment ads so I might consider going back to work.

Of course, when my husband comes home, she is chipper and doesn't even squirm when he changes her diaper. I can't believe she is already responding differently to us. *sigh*

[Kristen]

This is so timely for our family.

Our daughter had been doing really well with sleep from around 4-5 months until about a month ago, when it all went to crap. She is 9 months + 1 week old now.

The poor sleeping started with teething, continued through a cold, got worse when she started pulling herself up to standing in the crib, and has finally, hopefully started to get better.

One thing that worked for us with regard to the standing was going in, laying her back down, then not going in again for ten minutes. After a week or so, she stopped getting up, and now that isn't really the problem.

But, she is still getting up at least once a night between 3-4am and sometimes twice! She wants to eat, too. Everyone says we shouldn't be feeding her, but at the same time, we all need to get back to sleep.

My poor husband is the one who gets up (because I am pregnant and working and he stays home) and I just feel so bad for him. It's good to hear that this will eventually pass and it has been useful to hear about everyone's experiences.

[Saffy]

Hi I'm so glad to have found this site! Like millions of other moms you feel sure that there is nothing you can do about the sleep issues!
My daughter was great as a newborn then at around 3 months she developed eczema which I presumed was keeping her awake at nights, along with horrendous reflux too! she wouldn't sleep in her cot so I resorted to putting her back in her moses basket at least she would sleep there for a while. With the eczema and reflux sorted (turned out to be an over active let down issue, which the doctors and health visitors just dismissed even to this day!) I now know that these sleepless nights were probably her 4 month regression as she did learn to roll over, sit up and crawl all relatively close together! she now is 8 months and starting to cruise. She wakes up usually twice a night but now I feel more accepting of it as just her learning and don't feel like I am spoiling her by letting her breasfeed whenever she wakes up! Why is that such a contentious issue? If she used a pacifier we would not think twice about putting it back in!
So thanks everyone for making me feel normal!

[Amanda]

I just wanted to thank you for comforting me at 2am this morning when I Googled, "9 month old waking at night," and yours was the first site to pop up. I read this and felt much better...or less like I was losing my mind...or at least comforted in that I am not alone in my insanity.
Thanks again.

[tracey]

i just wanted to add a comment now, before i read through all the comments in this post, because i'm already nodding profusely and holding back the tears. our almost-9 month old WAS a fantastic sleeper from an early age, but has descended into what i thought was A. the point of no return and B. my 24/7 coma. my husband and i both work full time, i've got a cough that is not going away and we're just so worn down.

just reading your post, Moxie, and the start of the comments makes me feel that we weren't doing something wrong for him / to him.

*breathes out*

[Emma]

OMG!! Stumbled across this page while trying 2 find some answers for my 8 month old not sleeping.. it all makes sense to me now!! My little one has been waking in the night from about 6 months gradually going from waking once to every 1 - 2 hours! He is currently army crawling, trying 2 fully crawl but not quite there.. he can also pull himself up not quite to standing but almost there. He has no teeth yet and have been convincing myself that this was the reason 4 lack of sleep.. however have been waiting 4 a tooth since 6 months n still no signs of any but lots of teething sypmtoms!! He also suffers from ezcema.. real bad.. this hit a peak at 4 months, he was covered head to toe with it.. but it is slowly improving now only has it on his legs.. which possibly may cause him to wake in the night!

At just 9 weeks he was sleeping a solid 10 hours i thought i had the perfect baby.. i was getting so much rest little did i no that i would be getting less sleep now than when i did with a newborn!! I am also lucky in that he will not be rocked, cuddled, patted to sleep, all i have to do i wrap him up in his blanket put his dummy in and he will drift of to sleep on his own, however tired he is! I believe this has happened as he is my second child.. my first baby he would only fall alseep in ur arms i wouldn't even have considered laying him down to fall asleep on his own. With my second baby, i feel u just dont have the time to be rocking etc trying to get them 2 sleep.. while trying 2 look after ur other children.. I used to have to lay him down n let him fall asleep by him self.. n it worked for us! i am completely not saying that it works 4 every baby.. i am proof that it doesn't.. i had a child that would not settle himself n one who does. My oldest is now a perfect sleeper by the way.. sleeps from 7 till 7 on his own but that came with time.. he eventually did that himself!!

So i am really hoping that he cuts a tooth anyday soon or learns to crawl lol.. then maybe i may be able to get some more sleep.. keep my fingers crossed huh!? x

[vanessasierra]

to all trying to get their little ones to sleep, have you tried the Sleep Easy method? it's similar to the "ferber" method, but for me (since i am such a 'don't let the baby cry' mom) it's a bit more soothing, but the baby will still cry. they DO warn not to do it when the baby is CUTTING a tooth, but as for teething the first two years of their life they are chronically teething... they also say not to start it when baby has just hit a milestone.

but i am about to try it. most of the moms in my group have done it or some form of this and their babies are great sleepers.. usually takes about 5 days to take full effect though.

[vanessasierra]

one more thing... about night feedings, they also have a recommendation about weaning the night feedings...for both bottle and breast.

if breast, start before you start sleep training: for each regular feeding --time them for the first night. then each consecutive night take a minute off of that feeding... and that goes for each wake/feeding ---this should make your kiddo take more milk (eventually) during the day and they get to know that night means no milk.

bottle: same method but you don't need to do first night since you have measured amounts...so each night take away one oz. from each feeding...

[Jasmina]

I have a 14 month old. I have never ever been able to sleep more than two hours. I think the first week that she came home she slept for 5 hours and it was ok, since then I have not had a sleep lasting longer than two hours. I am still nursing and I think a lot of moms with this problem are those who are breast feeding. The baby feels comfort. I tried to put her in the crib and let her cry she got a bloody nose from crying so much. I really don't know what to do. She doesn't take a pacifier. Sleepless in NY

[Rebecca]

All these comments were SO helpful! I had never heard about the 9 month sleep regression (first son is 91/2 months old) He has slowly been sleeping worse and worse each night since around his 9 month birthday. We thought it was us, good to know this will eventually end- even if it's not soon!

[Ashley]

I recently moved my now 9 month into the same room with my 3 yr old. I had never heard of this sleep regression (I was lucky with the first) I knew I'd have to get up 1-2 times during the night to breast feed my little monster, but come on! This isn't fun. When I initially put him down he'll sleep a few hours and then after that he's up every 1-2 hours. My husband was in a motorcycle accident and is not capable of being any help :( This explains the recent attitude problem. I'm so greatful to you ladies for posting all of your situations. Even if there isn't a whole lot of advice, I'm comforted knowing I'm not alone and I will survive!

[tiredm0m]

ugh my DD seems to be going through this since she turned 9mos march 25th. she started so show some signs around 8.5mos but i assumed it was teething again but as soon as she turned 9mos, she started crying when she woke from her naps which she hasn't done since we sleep trained her at 3.5mos. and it's not like she's tired or anything - even after a solid nap, she still wakes up and cries. she's also been crankier, more whiny and cries more when before, she rarely cried at anything, even when she got hurt. she's a very happy, easy baby until this! is it true that this regression lasts 4 weeks?!

[DanaLaz]

My 8mo son had finally started sleeping straight through the night (9pm - 8am). He did it for 3 weeks and then, BAM! SLEEP REGRESSION (2 weeks into it) - not only waking throughout the night but being wide awake unwilling to go back to sleep. In these 2 weeks he has learned to crawl, pull up, and has even tried to take a step. However, I think not knowing how long this will last is the torture.

[Rachel]

My son is 9 1/2 months old and has been sleeping most of the night since 6 weeks. But sleeping has been rough lately. One night he will sleep 9PM-6:30AM without interruption. The next night (like last night) he is up and down all night. Last night he just wanted me and wouldn't even close his eyes or calm down when I put him in his crib. He would be (what I thought) sound asleep in my arms and as soon as I tried to lay him down in his crib he would cling to my shirt and 'pant' like he was hyperventilating. If I would proceed to lay him down the water works would begin and he would be standing up at the railing in his crib before I could even run out of the room. We will not let him sleep with us so that is not an option at this point. It is terrible and I am getting too little of sleep and I work full-time so I feel like I am a zombie today. I never know what the night will be like since some are good and some are horrible. I just keep telling myself this has to pass.

[Brooke]

My little one is 9 months old now. Two bottom teeth and is scooting around a bit but not crawling. She stopped sleeping well about a month ago and it's gotten worse with each passing week. It started with having to get up a few times a night to give her a pacifier and her snuggly and now has escalated into her pitching a full on fit as soon as my husband and I leave the room. We put her in her crib no later than 8pm and she puts herself to sleep (the past two nights she's been fighting that more so hopefully that doesn't go completely out the window too) and then is up anywhere from 1am - 3am. We'll go in her room and give her a pacifier but lately as soon as we leave the room she starts crying hysterically - and I'm talking choking, gagging, snot flying, kicking hysterics. Sometimes we can get her to go back to sleep just standing there but more often than not we have to pick her up and walk or rock with her. She will go back to sleep but the only problem with that is as soon as her head touches her mattress she starts screaming again. My husband and I both work full time so lately we've been giving in and putting her in bed with us just so we can sleep before we have to get up for work. She sleeps okay with us but is still very restless and will wake up and reach over to make sure she can feel one of us there and then go back to sleep. I have been very against her sleeping in the same bed with us since the beginning and thought I had her on a great schedule until now - I hope this passes soon....

[frugan]

I am a year-and-a-half late to this discussion but I have to say thank you. I am the middle of a hellish sleep period. My baby girl (8 months today) has been a bad sleeper since day 1 but the last week has been really and truly horrendous. Just reading these comments makes me feel a little more sane and a little more hopeful. Thank you, internet moms!

[Betty]

I have an 8 month old that has a mouthful of teeth, crawling and pulling up. When I lay him down in his crib, he will be awake by the time I have gotten in my sleep mode. This has been going on for almost 4 week. I do work outside of the home and my fiance has to get up at 3:15am for work. so, guess who is the one NOT getting any sleep? I hope you guys are right in saying it's not going to last. I am so worried and depressed right now. I know it's from a lack of sleep. Right?

[Lauren]

My son is 9 months old and WAS a good sleeper. I am paying for it now.
It seems like the day he hit 9 months his sleep was starting to change but the past few nights are going to get the better of me. He will go to bed like usual and wake up 30 minutes later and be unconsolable. He will eventually fall asleep in my arms but as soon as he touches his bed he freaks out. I finally gave up and took him to bed with me. I know, I broke the cardinal rule of parenting. It was just so much easier.

My husband is in Army Flight School and leads 15-18 hour days flying... he needs his sleep so I try to make things as easy on him in the baby-department as I can. I would rather our son not sleep in our bed with us but I don't want to keep my husband up with his screaming.

I have tried feeding him and rocking him and now have moved on to let him cry it out.
I need suggestions, help, advice, etc.
Oh, and he has NO teeth. I suppose they are all going to make an appearance soon which may also be messing with his sleep.

At least tell me there is an end in sight and I will sleep again. Sleep is my favorite thing in the world. :(

[zombie mom]

I have a 9 month 2 week old Son and thought I was losing my mind!! Why won't he eat now? Why won't he nap now? Why is he so whiney now? I could go on and on. He was a colicky baby until 12 weeks and has always been a crap sleeper so I thought that maybe DH and I did something wrong by not doing something earlier, a different way, method, etc. I was beginning to think that I was a sh*tty parent for not being able to help him sleep better.

It's totally true! Everyone I talk to says "oh your baby isn't STTN?!? and he's HOW old?!?!" and the best for every freakin' sleep deprived parent to hear... my personal fav "He's been sleeping through the night since 8 weeks" (I swear a girl I work with told me this).

C'MON WOMEN!! IT'S TIME TO TELL THE TRUTH!! YOU'RE MAKING OTHER MOM'S FEEL LIKE ASS!

I'm so grateful that my DH googled and found this site. I'm looking forward to learning more from everyone's experiences!

It feels like home!! Hello Sisters!!! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[zombie mom]

p.s. I don't feel like my marriage is doomed any longer as well! This is all normal and though people won't cop to it, it happens. It's all about sleep deprivation... makes people grouchy weirdo's. Gotta go - my little buddy is crying... AGAIN. : /

[oakfern]

It's nice to read all of these comments and see that what we are going through with our 9 month old son is commonplace and that we aren't missing something we should be doing.

He's been waking 4 or 5 times a night regularly since about 2 weeks ago. Just recently he's started waking up in the early morning and not wanting to go back down, acting like it's time to get up and play instead. We are about to go back to work tomorrow, so suffice it to say I am super concerned that we will be walking zombies from all this sleep deprivation. It's nice to know it will pass.

[Lindsey]

Thank GOD my girlfriend sent me this link tonight as I was tearfully explaining my frustration just this morning that my son is NOT sleeping during the night like he used to.
Here I was thinking I am the only mom feeling like I must be doing everything wrong and that I have trained my son in all the worst ways to get to sleep and stay that way.
If you can believe it, I can't, he was getting himself to sleep for naps and during the night through the 4-6mo. time frame, then teething started hard core.
At the 8 mo mark, I thought things would be getting better since he had just finished cutting, count 5 new teeth (the beginning of the end of sleep). This was in addition to the 2 existing teeth. Thankfully we have moved through the biting phase and he nurses now without any difficulty, though he recently (this week) has been gradually preferring the bottle, so unfortunately my milk supply is diminishing.
At any rate, as soon as he started getting up more frequently, I wasn't sure what to do, since he didn't appear to be getting any more teeth, so of course I talked to some girlfriends. One of whom recommended this book 'the baby wisperer'. Of course I rushed to the nearest book store to purchase it and read what it recommended for such sleeping challenges. Needless to say, after about a week of their techniques for quieting and training a baby to sleep (we tried the crying technique for about 3-5 nights, and we just can't do it), we are no better for ware. As a matter of fact, though he is easier to get back to sleep sometimes (I now chalk this up to luck) I think things have possibly worsened in terms of waking frequency. Not to mention this technique requires a strong back, which I learned in the last week mine isn't as strong as I thought despite regular exercise and frequent baby picking-up.
We aren't a fan co-sleeping since our bed really doesn't accommodate the three of us and I still sleep like garbage, so I liked this plan and thought it might work for us. However, after having a plan and experiencing its failure, I became increasingly hopeless, frustrated and ANGRY!
So you can imagine my relief this evening as I read that others are sharing my experiences, and this isn't something resulting from something I have done or not done.
Many thanks to all you others who share your pearls of wisdom and hope to moms and dads in this phase of parenting that we can get through this and we are not damaging our children or forming unbreakable habits by singing, rocking, walking, nursing our babies back to sleep. As I learned today, if we don't get any sleep ourselves we might just find ourselves sleeping on the floor in the closet - the only room in the house where baby crying isn't audible - while our husbands take their turn at soothing an oh-so-awake child.

[Emma]

I'm glad to know that there are other moms out there whose kids do not sleep, I thought mine was the only one! Bookie has not slept through the night except 1! time since he was born! And now we've just hit the 9 mo sleeping regression, literally 2 nights ago, and it is heartbreaking and terrible. He wakes up every hour or half hour depending and cannot be consoled no matter what I or his daddy does! I thought him crawling and pulling himself all the time would wear him out I guess not. I just want to cry. I hope like you have all mentioned here that it gets better, but its so hard to focus on that when you can't even console your own baby! P.S. Literally would not have known about sleeping regressions if I had not been told about this website, so thank you Moxie!

[leanne]

Finding this 8 month sleep regression stuff has saved my sanity......my lo is 35 weeks and was 2 wk overdue (read this affects the sleep regression age somewhere) so basically right on Que for the 37 week regression she takes to waking for 2 or 3 hours in the night. She has been sleeping thru 7.30 to 7.30 since 6 wk (she takes after mama in this respect like my full nights sleep too) apart from a week at 4 months were she woke for an hour babbling mama dada gaga baba etc every night for a week, at the time I know nothing of sleep regression then but checking back she was exactly 17 weeks old then so would most likely have been her 19 week sleep regression after correcting for her post term birth. anyway this time she is obsessed with perfecting pulling up on furniture so I have actually started waking her half hr before I go to bed and let her practice pulling up to stand for half hr (she been doing this for awhile but takes good few mins to actually get from sitting to standing until this week its one swift move and she standing in seconds) so I guess now she is better at this we are almost thru it as this is what she seems to be working on....I hope so anyway. As for the issue of possibly having to break the gettin up to play at 11pm habit well I will cross that bridge when it comes... I need to sleep at least 6 hrs in a row to function and this gets me most sleep for now. Lol