Reminder to Ann Arbor people that we're meeting at Fraser's Pub on Packard at 6 tonight (Thursday) to work on the 2013 Incredible Year Workbook. Bring your copy and pens. I'll bring my three hole punch.
Anyone else interested in talking about the process with other Ask Moxie readers, I started a FB closed group to talk about the process of doing the workbook and planner.
Now: waah! It feels like this holiday season was difficult for a lot of people. More difficult than usual. And like re-entry is difficult, too. Almost a collective groan as we have to start turning the gears again and get our kids back in gear, too.
It's not helping that everyone and their kids has been or is sick. Flus, colds, sore throats, general malaise. Some of you have had something for two weeks, gotten over it and gotten something else for two weeks, and then another thing.
This is starting to feel a little like Groundhog Day. (The movie, not February 2.)
Name it and get it out here in the comments. Once it's down here you can shake it off and move on.
I can't see the workbook planner. :(
Anyway, I have zero motivation, yet tons to do. I was supposed to wake early the past two days and t-tapp before everyone got up. Yeah, didn't happen. I still need to find time to fit a 12 mile run and a trip to get my eldest's passport renewed on Saturday. Sigh... Don't know when that fits in. May have to move the run until Sunday, but it will be colder.
Sigh
Posted by: Spacemom | January 03, 2013 at 10:09 AM
Spacemom, I fixed the planner links. Thanks.
I haven't run since before Christmas!!
Posted by: Moxie | January 03, 2013 at 10:15 AM
Our friend who died in a car accident two weeks before Christmas is still dead. I am still struggling with it.
Posted by: Anon | January 03, 2013 at 10:16 AM
I am usually really good at doing the look-at-the-stats decisionmaking and settling down about stuff but having a 1st grader in public school when Newtown went down has rocked me a bit. I dealt with it by counting down days until Christmas break but now they're back and I'm dreading every dropoff again. And of course my husband is completely logic-driven and thinks I'm being ridiculous. But I'm a bit prone to anxiety issues anyway and that just really isn't getting out of my mind the way I wish it would. I know what I need to DO, I've had enough therapy/etc to get the process, I just kinda wish I could build a yurt and live without society for a few years. Shaking that off will help me get on with the other crap on my list immensely.
Posted by: Leah | January 03, 2013 at 10:19 AM
Thanks Moxie.... I ran during the break, but not enough.
Anon- I am sorry. So so so sorry. From experience, I can tell you that it will take a long time before you can break free from the grief. For now, just feel what you feel. This isn't something that you will just shake off. HUGS and know that you have family and friends who love you and are here for you now
Posted by: Spacemom | January 03, 2013 at 10:22 AM
Anon, I am so, so sorry.
Leah, the problem is that you probably should just be able to cocoon in a yurt for a few months. I had to explain to my kids what a sensory deprivation tank was the other day and it made me think they should have a comeback.
Posted by: Moxie | January 03, 2013 at 10:23 AM
Oh Anon, how heartbreaking. I'm so sorry.
Posted by: Leah | January 03, 2013 at 10:30 AM
Anon, I'm so sorry.
Leah-I hear you. Also having a first grader made it really hard. She hasn't gone back yet, but I think I'll be doing better than I was right after it happened. Of course I was listening to a Snap Judgement podcast on the way home from up north and without warning it was a story about a 6 year old girl who had cancer and died. I just can't handle that.
We have been late to work, struggling to catch up on laundry, cleaning, cooking. Getting back into the swing of things to rough, plus my wife is traveling most of next week which is always harder. Oh and we are suddenly full on birthday party planning. But those are more whines than anything.
Posted by: Brooke | January 03, 2013 at 10:42 AM
Brooke, you all are invited to my yurt.
Seriously, media needs freaking trigger warnings for sensitive parents. :(
Posted by: Leah | January 03, 2013 at 10:48 AM
DS has been sick for over a week with croup and a double ear infection and probably the flu and DD was diagnosed with the flu last Friday. Oh, and both got flu shots, as did we. He is a mellow sick kid but she is a nightmare. I haven't slept in almost a week bc she cries intermittently all night. DH sleeps through it all. Add to that that I think she is in the midst of the 18 month sleep regression, and she's teething. It is pure hell. She also melts down for no reason out of nowhere during the day and literally nothing can calm her down. Have missed a ton of work and really don't have that kind of flexibility and am hoping there won't be an impact on my performance review. DH (who has unlimited vacation) has unilaterally decided to quarantine both kids even though he's not the one who ends up home with them each day. At some point, they need to go back to school. They will get sick again. We can only do so much. Oh, and did I mention that no one in DH's family (who often help us with child care) have gotten flu shots? This has to end soon. I can't last much longer.
Posted by: Laura | January 03, 2013 at 11:19 AM
Thanks for the opportunity to say - aaaarrgh! Two weeks ago I got laryngitis (the sort that leaves you with no voice, not the sexy, deep husky voice kind) and haven't been able to talk. And we potty trained over break. Using sign language. If that wasn't enough, I added the flu on Sunday, and now a double ear infection and bronchitis. Oh, did I mention that I'm 28 weeks prego with twins? So it's not like I was feeling super or having an easy time sleeping to begin with. And coughing fits - while huge with 2 babies hanging out on your bladder? That's fun too! So now I'm watching the very hard earned pounds fall away, hoping the babies can do ok. And using up my sick leave before the babies are born (thankfully we can handle that)...
In the meantime, my amazing dh is doing everything. He has to work a lot, but with day care closed took on full time care of ds (who is a handful, more so than his 2.5 yo peers), painted the nursery, rearranged the house, has been taking care of me - keeping me hydrated, fed when possible, etc. I'm super appreciative, and grateful, but he was about to burn out before I got sick and I really want to give him a break. But I can't take care of our ds on my own anymore (no voice, no ability to chase? He figured that one out quickly!). And yea, it feels pretty helpless to be unable to care for your own kid.
But in light of the worse situations posted, at least he's here and I can blow him kisses (until germ free when he'll get so many hugs and kisses), and tomorrow we have the next ultrasound, and if the twins are still growing well, I guess nothing else really matters, right?
Posted by: Mamafooz | January 03, 2013 at 11:59 AM
Anon, I am so sorry.
I'm mad because I worked all last week (freelance), but it was so quiet and everybody left me alone. Suddenly yesterday everybody else went back to work and they're no longer leaving me alone. Meanwhile, everybody I've asked for something seems to be completely ignoring me.
Son's school still on break til Tuesday.
Husband working from home and is generally stressed out and annoying, leaving me feeling like I can't rely on him at all for help with child or household duties.
Posted by: Shannon | January 03, 2013 at 12:14 PM
Someone or another has been sick in this house since the Monday after Thanksgiving. First my husband, then son, then husband again, then me, now my kid again, and my husband is STILL sick with the same illness that he's had for two weeks now. I'm currently fine, but not getting any sleep because the other two cough all night and keep me up. I need everyone to get well and stay that way and soon!
Posted by: Betsy | January 03, 2013 at 12:30 PM
Anon, I'm so sorry.
Baby has decided sleep is for suckas. I'm yelling at the 5-year-old way more than I'd like. I'm sick and can't seem to kick it because (a) not sleeping (b) afraid to take anything for it because I'm nursing. Oh, and we found out we have lead paint in our apartment. UGH.
Posted by: anonforthis | January 03, 2013 at 12:49 PM
I'm currently struggling with the idea that feeling like a single parent is the price I have to pay for being able to stay home with my kids.
Posted by: Tired and anonymous. | January 03, 2013 at 12:51 PM
Anon, ((((hug))))
My complaint is rather ordinary. Huge writing deadline looming in 5 days. I'm behind because of the holidays and *everyone* in my family (including me) being sick. Can't sleep due to coughing, so I've got approximately 1 operational brain cell. #blergh
Posted by: Tine | January 03, 2013 at 01:00 PM
We have family in town for epic holiday visit (it goes on and on and on...) and I struggle with finding the time to work, so I have been doing basically nothing. One of my growth resolutions is to spend less time worrying and more time trying to be okay with where I am, so I'm being semi-successful at fretting about this less than I normally would.
I bought but have not started the workbook. I kind of want to join the FB group for it, but... my ridiculous concern is that it would be SO EMBARRASSING to have my incredibly lame issues posted on the internets forever.
Also, we intended to potty-train the kid over the break, but with the house full of people who keep offering helpful advice or insisting that we head out for exciting adventures, the kid has developed a shy bladder. I get it, who wants seven people to be like "YOU PEED IN THE POTTY????? OMG." all the time? But now I feel like we'll never get it done.
Posted by: anonnynonnynon | January 03, 2013 at 01:18 PM
We all have the creeping crud, our furnace bit the dust today, we have -125.00 in the bank (yes, negative) and our house is probably going into foreclosure. If I went to work much of this would be alleviated, but I haven't worked in 12 years. And even if I do find a job, who will be here to get the kids off to school, and get my preschooler off the bus, and help my learning disabled 3rd grader with her homework, because her father doesn't have the patience and thinks she just isn't trying, and cook dinner, and, and, and! And even if there was someone to ask for help, I have a VERY hard time asking. And going to work would more than likely entail having to choose between my job and kids, and I never wanted to make that choice. And I really have no idea what to do, and feel like it's all my fault, and am completely powerless to fix it.
Posted by: maggie | January 03, 2013 at 02:10 PM
Leah, thanks for posting your comment. I'm also a mother of a first grade public school student and I also feel anxious even though I know the statistics.
Posted by: UGH | January 03, 2013 at 02:10 PM
I have such minor complaints compared to everyone else...for once, no one seems to be sick (except for an achy feeling I woke up with). The holidays were great, but re-entry this morning was pure hell. Am seriously hoping this achy feeling won't turn into anything else, as I have a 7-year-old's birthday bash to throw this weekend (including baking a 6-layer rainbow cake!)...
Posted by: meggiemoo | January 03, 2013 at 02:14 PM
I have no major complaints, however, I also have a first grader in public school, so Newtown hit me hard, as well.
And, a college friend's 7 year old daughter died on Christmas day of a brain tumor that was diagnosed just one year ago, so that hit hard, too.
I have not been actively in touch with this friend, other than casual Facebook interactions and I never met her daughter (they live in a different part of the country), but it is obviously still heartbreaking.
My husband and I caught ourselves debating which was "worse" -- helplessly watching your child slowly die over the course of a year or sending them off to school in the morning and never seeing them again because they were gunned down. I know. Horrible, right? So those icky feelings have been in our hearts and heads this whole holiday season.
Beyond that, my only nagging complaint is that my 11 year old cat has become really finicky and has lost a lot of weight. He's been to the vet and there isn't anything wrong. The only thing he'll consistently eat is Fancy Feast which is like feeding him McDonalds for every meal. But, if he'll eat it...
Posted by: Stanon | January 03, 2013 at 02:27 PM
Stanon! I have no words. Wow. Just awful.
Posted by: Leah | January 03, 2013 at 02:58 PM
My FIL moved in with us day after Christmas and he is very depressed, homeless, lonely, and so on. It has put a dark cloud to an extent over a wonderful Christmas season, but it was the only right thing to do.
Posted by: Kelly | January 03, 2013 at 03:39 PM
our toilet. i hate our toilet.
our upstairs bathroom backed up a few days before christmas. got someone out here. got it fixed. in the process, though, the guy turned some pump on backwards and sprayed our whole bathroom (toothbrushes, my makeup, everything) with SOMETHING so foul i don't even want to try to define it. he then left. no cleaning up really. and the toilet? wobbly but attached. we cleaned, the toilet flushed and we declared it good enough.
left town for 10 days. home last night. husband, well, unloads and we're back where we started but now it's seeping out from under the wobbly toilet and the ceiling in the downstair's bathroom is, well, impacted.
this is a disgusting thing to share. but i can't tell friends because i'm mortified. i grew up fairly poor and home maintenance is a major trigger issue for me. add in poopy water and i might pop a gasket. i can't believe i am telling YOU poor souls about our disaster. i know we talk about kid poop, so is this even ok?
i'm trying very very hard, though, not to snowball into this being something bigger. and then melting down because "everything is harder than it should be" which was my 2012 motto and i swoer would be left behind on NYW. randomly the mirror in our vanity crashed down during our time away and shattered everywhere. if that's not a sign of something bigger, well, heck.
we're all healthy and we both freelance so we can take on more work to cover the costs. but we're trying to work less because i work every moment the kid is asleep and three days FT and haven't done much that's not caring for her or writing. i love her and i love writing but i just want to do SOMETHING else. like learn to sew. or cook a meal again. or put away stuff. any stuff. or plan something in advance. that would be lovely.
Posted by: clio | January 03, 2013 at 03:40 PM
and my post had typos and that is also mortifying.
Posted by: clio | January 03, 2013 at 03:41 PM
Aww, clio, shit happens! (sorry) And you are so allowed to talk about it here and have as many typos as needed! At least it sounds like you have another bathroom, so there's that, too right?
Posted by: Stanon | January 03, 2013 at 03:46 PM
I dislocated my hip New Years Day and I have 2 young sons, 5 and 2. I have no pain, but I'm tired and it effects my parenting. My mom is coming to help on Sunday and I have our sister in law living with us anyway, so she helps, but it sucks I'm not able to do a lot of the parenting, and changing life around just kinda sucks. This too shall pass.
Posted by: Shelby | January 03, 2013 at 04:06 PM
Clio, it sounds sort of like ours except your spray sounds way more horrific, it's leaking from the tank and messing up our downstairs ceiling and my dad is a plumber and I know enough to turn off the water and empty it and get a new one and install it but we haven't gotten around to getting a new one so I have to turn on the water every time it gets used by anyone and wait for it to fill and flush and I just need to drive somewhere and buy a damn toilet but ugh.
Posted by: Leah | January 03, 2013 at 04:08 PM
My best friend has cancer, skin cancer. Her treatment is progressing well and she will recover!!
And....my husband's best friend has late stage 3 colon cancer. They will not share much information but I believe it is bad and trying to prepare husband for what might come this year...
And... not one single person in his family acknowledged our son's first birthday, which was Christmas day.
So yeah the holidays kinda sucked this year....
Posted by: latte | January 03, 2013 at 04:10 PM
I am so humbled and happy I can talk about my tiny husband's giant dumps safely here!
Stanon. Yes, downstairs BR is currently backed up now too. Plumbers are banging away during Kiddo's nap. Did I mention her sleep is trigger issue #1 for my PPD? It's long past but that bubble of anxiety creeps up when her sleep is crap.
Leah. Life is triage. So many things have fairly easy fixes but MAN is it hard to fix the thing when there are other things. And driving somewhere to buy a toilet sounds awful, even if it is fairly simple.
Plumbing my wonderful husband is dealing with. For me, work trumped everything during nap today. Putting away the holiday decor got triaged and trumped by the work. Unpacking from two weeks away?! Heck, who knows when that will make the top priority.
Again, this won't be anywhere near the straw that breaks me but man I am pooped. Literally, figuratively, plumbingly.
Posted by: clio | January 03, 2013 at 04:14 PM
You can buy toilets online. The reviews are even kind of amusing.
Posted by: Brooke | January 03, 2013 at 04:25 PM
Right now I'm needing this place like I did when baby was little. Have I mentioned my MIL moved in? I am so sorry for all of you dealing with so much.
Posted by: Sherry | January 03, 2013 at 04:32 PM
Someone in our family was sick from before Halloween until the week of Christmas. That includes two times when all three of us were on antibiotics at the same time & cancelling the combined family Thanksgiving we had wanted to host at our new house.
I logically know a great deal of it is thanks to LO starting at the germ factory also known as preschool but I'm ready to stop buying tissues on every grocery trip. Fingers crossed we have a healthier 2013!
Posted by: Blanche | January 03, 2013 at 05:29 PM
Sherry, I just read your commentnon the Christmas stress post. I am so sorry-it is hard when so many things pile up at once.
Posted by: Kate | January 03, 2013 at 06:00 PM
We moved Dec 29th in with my parents, We are in between selling and buying a house. The move put us two hours away from the only home, daycare and friends my kids know. My happy go lucky four year old is not handling the transition well. He is grumpy, defiant,angry, etc. I know this and I TRY to cut him some slack, but I am tired of the attitude. This move is allowing me a few months off from work and I don't think I am cut out for stay at home status. I am questioning this entire move.
Posted by: A | January 03, 2013 at 09:28 PM
Another mom of a first grader here and I am expecting a hard day on Monday for me.
Also, my kids has been sick and I am so ready for everyone to be healthy again.
My 9 yr old has basically spent her entire Christmas break sick in her bedroom. First she had a virus that attacked her vocal chords and gave her a very sore throat (and ruined her Christmas) and then on NYE she got a fever again and a terrible headache and went to bed at 7pm. That turned into full-on flu (and we all have had our flu shots) and she is starting to look like herself again. I just feel bad for the poor bunny, you know?
My 6 yr old has been runny nosed or congested or coughing or all 3 for the past 4 weeks. He gets asthma when he is sick and we are all sick of the damn nebulizer! Yesterday he told me he was tired of being sick. My poor babies!!
Posted by: snoopymom | January 03, 2013 at 10:28 PM
Clio, your toilet story made me laugh. I'm sorry. That's horrible. (But it also made me laugh. In a despairing way.)
Posted by: anonnynonnynon | January 03, 2013 at 10:45 PM
Clio, you are holding this incompetent "plumber" responsible (financially) for all your toilet and cleanup troubles, right? I want to slap him/her for ruining your holidays.
Maggie, your comment socked me in the gut. I have been there and know exactly how awful you're feeling. If a sympathetic cyber-hug from a stranger can possibly help, you've got one.
Posted by: Tine | January 04, 2013 at 09:25 AM
I love this and am pretty sure I NEED it. . .who doesn't?
Let me start by saying that I feel slightly guilty for posting because I'm not sure I "belong" here since I don't have kids. I still feel the need, though because I'm having a difficult holiday season.
I'm 32, single for a year after ending a 6 year relationship, and living in my own apartment in Chicago. I really don't have a problem with any of those things until I leave my large family (who desperately want me to move back to Ohio because they love and miss me) to return home to my empty apartment.
What makes it worse is that my family members say, "you always seem so HAPPY", so I'm not eager to share stories of the nights I sit home alone and cry because I feel so lonely.
I REALLY am ok living the life I lead 99% of the time. It's that 1% that is the thorn in my side.
On top of that, if you walked in my house right now you would SWEAR I'm a hoarder. I often joke that I am 1 traumatic event from becoming one. As of now, I just have clutter - but no attachment to any of the things. After coming back from my trip to Ohio I got ambitious and decided to do some purging/rearranging. GREAT idea. Until you remember that it ALWAYS looks worse before it looks better. I was moving shelves that were holding kitchen stuff into the living room. Unfortunately that meant I had to clear the shelves and then find new homes for the items. I did a great job clearing and moving the shelves, and now the items are just spread out all over my kitchen and living room instead of neatly tucked away in their new homes.
I unearthed a lot of items that I no longer need and am ready to throw away, but they are also sitting in my kitchen. Basically I'm just too lazy/tired to walk down the 3 flights of stairs and through 2 alleys to get to my dumpsters to throw the crap I need to purge away. Even if I WASN'T lazy (which I readily admit that I am) I have chronic pain from a college shoulder injury that becomes unbearable after carrying heavy things. . .and I threw my back out a month ago and am still trying to take it easy.
Did I mention there is a rancid smell coming from my refrigerator? I thought I threw everything out that could potentially go bad/smell before leaving for the holiday, but I MUST have missed something. Either that or something died somewhere around my fridge and I haven't found it yet. Seriously. So. Gross. I've looked but haven't found ANYTHING inside the fridge so I'm guessing something is hiding somewhere and I'm the only one who will be able to unearth it. I just hope I don't puke when I find it.
I have vented, and now I'm shaking it off. I'm determined to get my apartment back in order this weekend. I even took a "before" picture so I can feel that much better about the "after".
I am so sorry for all of you dealing with loss or stress or depression or in-laws or exploding toilets! How great that we have Moxie to give us a safe place to vent.
Posted by: Kari | January 04, 2013 at 11:48 AM
Don't hate me but the only sick person is my husband (typical for him at this time of year) and my holiday has been pretty good. I'm sorry that everyone else is having rough spots. I've totally been there.
Thanks Moxie for letting me in the group. I've been filling in my workbook since New Year's Eve and it's just what I needed to help me channel all the hope and energy I have for 2013 into a format that might help me actually yield some results.
Posted by: Artemis | January 04, 2013 at 03:58 PM
I had a great holiday overall, but am dealing with the extreme stress/depression of my mom's awful terminal disease, and also coming to terms with my mixed feelings about my (quite new!) 2nd pregnancy. I'm excited but sometimes panic and think "what were we thinking?!?". Also so so so so so nauseaus and tired (an sometimes puking). Boo.
Posted by: eee | January 04, 2013 at 05:57 PM
Toilets - the Toto Drake is fantastic, and you can order it online. We have two of them in our house, both bought from homeclick.com. All toilets are not created equal, and the website by plumber Terry Love has excellent reviews (he decided as a plumber he would rather work on actual plumbing stuff rather than deal with clogged toilets so started writing the reviews). The website is: http://www.terrylove.com/crtoilet.htm
I'm just back to work after maternity leave, and I find myself forgetting things that I should know. Not sure if it is that I've been gone for 4 months, or being sleep deprived, or both. Hopefully both will get better eventually!
Posted by: Sarah | January 04, 2013 at 08:44 PM
A - we ended up living with my in-laws for almost a month between selling our old house and closing on our new house this fall. The stay was only supposed to last a week so I had only packed for that long. I ended up having to buy more clothes for LO and myself since the weather changed part-way through!
We spent time exploring the area, doing things like finding new playgrounds, where the favorite restaurants were, basically giving her something fun to look forward to every day. This ended up helping both of us find the good in the situation when it was so easy for me to focus on the annoyances of living with the in-laws during the last months of the presidential campaign & not knowing when we would ever be able to move into our new house.
I hope it gets better for you soon. Being in transition is hard for everyone.
Posted by: Blanche | January 05, 2013 at 09:28 PM
Crappy things about the holidays: three funerals (an 88 year old, a 91 year old, and a 50-something who was horribly ill for years); a gift-giving "game" organized by my sisters in law that left my other married-in sister mad as a hornet that she was stuck with both crap gifts while the organizers waltzed off with gift cards to Target that they can actually use.
Best things about the holidays: my husband and I both took off the rest of the week after the kids went back to school. It was fabulous. We got a ton done and feel much more rested and were able to get ourselves together. Highly, highly recommended for those who can pull it off.
Of course the holidays too were good but in the "practical suggestions" part, that's what I have.
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Posted by: pinterest ideas | January 19, 2013 at 10:33 AM
I cut the mounting plate off of the horizontal tank and placed it on the vertical tank. I had completed plumbing everything and was ready to test.
Posted by: Click here | January 23, 2013 at 06:31 AM
How much generally plumbers are paid in Riverside, actually i want to start by joining a plumbing company in Riverside CA, Any professional who can guide me a bit?
Posted by: plumbing | January 23, 2013 at 09:05 PM