Which sleep regression is worse?

Question 1: My older son made a wooly mammoth out off red clay (the kind that dries out but doesn't have to be fired) for school. One of the tusks just fell off. What can I glue it back on with? Krazy Glue? Elmer's glue? The mammoth is dry, so we can't just reform it and re-attach.

People with infants and toddlers: Does the question above seem like the kind of issue you wish you were having instead of sleep problems and food problems and tantrums? Then hang on, because in a few years those will be your problems. It's a self-solving problem.

Question 2: Speaking of sleep, how about those sleep regressions?

Which, in your opinion, was the worst for you:

4 months

9 months

13 months

18 months (also known as 16-21 months for some people)

24-27 months

3-year-olds refusing to go to sleep in the first place

 

I'm going with 9 months for my first child. For 4 months he had only slept a couple of 4-hour stretches anyway by then so I didn't really notice. His 9-month regression went on and on and by 10 months I was so demoralized I really didn't know how I was going to make it much further, and was so sad about what a crap mother I was turning out to be. The 13 month regression hardly happened, and then I was mad about the 18-month regression. But that 9-month regression just about killed me.

With my second it was the 3-year-old shenanigans that made things worse. I was alone by that point and just could not get that kid to go to sleep at night for love or money, and I imagined it could continue for years because of his personality.

 

What's your vote for Worst Sleep Regression ever?

Comments

[SarcastiCarrie]

I've never noticed a sleep regression pretty much ever (unless vacation or messed up nap was involved) because my kids are awful sleepers for the first two years. Awful. Well, actually, when they are asleep they sleep fine...they just don't sleep for long stretches or when human beings want to be asleep. Two years. Two full, entire years. I have a nine-month old right now and his sleep is... deteriorating. It's demoralizing in a host of ways.

3-yo no sleep shenanigans make me laugh more than anything. OK, you want to strip all the covers off your bed and throw them on the floor? OK, just be quiet about it so the rest of us can sleep. (Although when the 3-yo opened a window (which had been open a crack), unlatched the window screen, and pushed it onto the ground 2 stories below, I did need to have a quiet freak out and then a discussion...and we've never slept with open windows since.)

But I have a baby and a school-aged kid (plus one in the middle) so I get all kinds of problems at the same time. Why won't the computer connect to the internet, why do babies get teeth anyway? How do you dry out leaves for a school project, what makes oozing diaper rash disappear when cream won't stick to weeping skin?

[Alexicographer]

I've had good luck patching stoneware with crazy glue (or the cheap dollar-store equivalent), so that's what I'd recommend.

Either my son was always a wonderful sleeper (close to true, but not literally the case) or I've blotted those months from my memory, so I can't answer those questions.

[Erin]

18 months, 18 months, 18 months, 18 months. Three months of 4 AM wake ups with 2-3 night wakings in between. Nothing to do but ride the wave.

My babies didn't have noticeable regressions at 9 or 13 months. They both had 2.5 month - 7 month sleep "issues" but I chalked this up to normal baby shenanigans, even though #2 woke up every 45 minutes until he was 7.5 months old. But once we did gentle sleep training they both basically slept through the night from 8 months-the dreaded 18 month sleep regression.

[Merrily]

Alien being from outer space #1 - The 4 month regression started around the time we were going from 3 night nursings to 2 night nursings, so we were only sleeping in 90 minute stretches anyway. The 9 MoReg was a slap in the face and lasted for 6 weeks. Funny how that led right into my morning sickness and 1st trimester insomnia with SURPRISE HERE'S ANOTHER ONE. And the 18 MoReg started the second night we brought the newborn home, and lasted until that one's 4 MoReg. Now, she's almost 4, sleeps in her own bed 3/7 nights, and somehow, someway ends up in our bed before dawn anyway. I GIVE UP. I just don't even fricken care anymore.

Alien Being #2 was a pretty decent sleeper, and her 4, 9, & 18 MoRegs passed within 4-10 days. But now, we're in the 27 month phase, where sometimes, she just wakes up screaming at 2am. And the parent that goes in to calm her down is always the WRONG ONE, so now we're both up, as well as the nearly-4 year old, who's precious Mom & Dad time was so rudely interrupted.

Have I said I give up? It's all crap. I read somewhere that in Norway or Scandanavia, they put babies outside to sleep (??I swear I'm not making this up. But I'm really tired, so maybe??). It's tempting.

[Anne]

I am desperate for dealing with school issues instead of toddler whinings and interrupted sleep. Desperate!

[meggiemoo]

My kids were such horrifically bad sleepers that there was no noticeable regression...or it was all one big regression. Thank the gods that the 7-year-old is finally a sound sleeper. The almost 4-year-old sneaks into our bed most nights, and I don't really care anymore. Except for nights like last night, when I woke up to a wet bed because she had a rare accident.

My standard for what constitutes a good night sleep for myself has been dramatically lowered by these kids...I didn't sleep train them, I think they sleep trained ME.

[Brooke]

The 4 month sleep regression combined with the growth spurt and me going back to work made for the worst weeks of my parenting life probably. Other small things have been worse but that was just relentless.

[Melissa]

We have had no (ZERO) sleep regressions. I was ready for them like someone going into battle. I had them written on a piece of paper taped in her closet so I'd know they were coming. She has woken <5 times since she started sleeping through the night at 9.5 weeks. She is a great sleeper at 35 months.

However, I really thought 2.5 years old was going to kill me. She wanted nothing to do with me. Wanted daddy or grandma or my brother or ANYONE but me. It didn't help that I was super hormonal (pregnant) and thought it was just a permanent personality change and not a stage. Hit at me when I tried to pick her up, no was the only word she knew with me, felt like she hated me. It has only been since 33 months that I am not DESPAIRING anymore. (I'm sure all this will change when little sister is born next month. Big sister is the only kid/grandkid/niece/cousin/ AND child under 10 on either side of the family. Spoiled with not only stuff but with undivided attention from every single adult to whom she is related.) Has my attention when she is home with me (5 days), grandma and grandpa's one day, and dad's the other.)

I'm so glad I read about 1/2 year disequilibrium here. It helped me through once it dawned on me that that was what it was.

[feesh]

The 4 month was the cruelest since both my girls had been sleeping for 8-12 hour stretches. To have that snatched away and to not see its return for a looooooong time was beyond tough.

[Susan]

4 months to 9 months was the worst time frame. One big regression? I don't know. He was sick the entire 6th month, so it all went to hell and didn't get better until we tried CIO at 9 months with good results. I'm happy he's now 3.5 and sleeping mostly all night every night. That alone might be why I was insane enough to get pregnant again. I'll be rereading the archives about nursing and sleep and teething in mere months!

[Blanche]

I got lucky with a pretty good sleeper who only wakes over night for bad dreams or if she's starting to come down with something. Right now it's trying to get her into bed at all that's about to kill me.

Melissa - Thank you for giving me some much needed hope that 2.5 doesn't last forever! I am on the receiving end of preference and it sucks almost as much as not being wanted (except I don't get any time to myself because it's all Mommy, all the time).

[J]

My vote for worst thing EVER about parenting is when people say the opposite of what you did, Magda. When you are going through any ONE of those regressions and people have the temerity to say "just wait until they are x age! It's so much worse!" IMHO nothing is more demoralizing! So let's all band together and never ever say that to a new parent! Let's all be like Magda and swear that it gets better!

[Eva]

Hot glue gun. I bought one at Michael's a couple of years ago (to re-attach Woody from Toy Story's head - kid wouldn't sleep without him) and it's amazing how much I need that think. Has saved a lot of tears and a worthy investment for any mom.

[Annika]

For both of my kids, the 9 month sleep regression started around 7 months and never ended. (Well, my 6.5 year old has slept great for almost 4 years now, but my 3 year old only started sleeping through the night a few months ago and she's woken me up at least once a night all week so I am a liiiittle bit ragged right now.)

[Claudia]

Gorilla Glue, baby. Works on anything, or as I like to say, you can glue a glob of snot to a puddle of grease with it.

[Dana]

My kid's only 11 months. 9-months coincided with illness and teething, so I can't say what was what.

4-month regression was hell. Starting around 1 or 2 in the morning, the kid would wake up every hour. And that lasted about 6 weeks. Not sure how everybody walked out of that alive.

There are many things about this site that I'm grateful for, but being warned about that 4 month regression was a life saver. Knowing it wasn't a parenting failure and that it would end (even when I didn't totally believe that) helped us endure.

Now we're just bracing for what's to come....

[Amanda]

4 months. OMG. She had been sleeping like an angel up until that point and then everything just went to hell. And there were other issues going on in the house at that time that made it even worse, because I didn't really have any support in the middle of the night and was completely on my own to deal with it. Very dark time in my life. That regression lasted for about four months, so that I didn't even notice the 9-month regression because we never got over the 4-month one. Add to that the fact that my SIL just looooved to brag about what an excellent sleeper her baby was, and I'm amazed that I survived with my sanity more or less intact.

[Claudia]

And my DD's sleep wonkiness hit from 2 1/4 to 2 3/4. Refuse to go to bed. Wake up and come in our room sixty bajillion times a night. Pitch horrid screaming fit every time she got carried back to her room. If we let her sleep with us, we'd have the classic sleep in between us, sideways, so one of us had her head digging in our back, the other had her feet kicking kicking kicking. Get up too damned early every morning. There was no part of the night that didn't suck. I had to take some mornings off work (freelance, so total loss of income) because I was so freaking tired.

[Molly]

Whichever I'm currently experiencing? The 6-7 month one my baby's doing at the moment is not, for instance, very cool. This baby slept so amazingly between 1 & 6 months, too! Come back, beautiful sleep ...

And ha, yes, the glue challenges. I wish my six-year-old's school hadn't introduced Model Magic into our lives: that crap breaks like it's its job, and young children get so attached to their creations. I've been meaning to try superglue but haven't gotten around to it yet. Wood glue is also useful for lots of non-paper stuff.

[Jessie]

If I recall, 9 months? Like you, we didn't even notice the 4 month. OMG the first 8 months of this child's life!!! When she was 8 months old, I realized she was high needs. Changed my entire view of parenting her. (ie, I stopped blaming attachment parenting and waiting for it to be better when she was older. I was completely committed to AP, but I thought it was causing our problems.)

But then the 9 month regression came, and we only figured out what sleep regressions were like 3/4 of the way through it. (Thank you, Moxie!) And I think there was also some teething?

All the later ones were better because we could at least communicate with her a little. Parenting her has been much better since she learned to at least sign a couple things and nod/shake her head.

Although now she's 3.5, so we're almost wishing she had never learned to talk...

[Kate]

My son is only 10.5 months, so we have a ways to go, but for us we didn't have anything at 4 or 9 months. We had some wacky, awful stuff from 6-9 months. Not even accounting for a slightly early arrival explained that timing.

[Mary]

4 months, because the habits we developed then lasted into all the other sleep regressions.

[Tara]

The 4 month reg lasted until my DD was 12 months old (with ebbs and flows in severity), and at 20 months now I think the 18 month was very brief if it ever really happened (teething, colds, etc)(knock on wood). I second the sentiments that this is the ONLY site I found helpful information about regressions on and it really helped me to know there wasn't much to be done but ride it out (though like a PP I didn't always have the faith).

[SarahB]

My son has been a great sleeper from the get-go, so transitioning out of the swaddle at four months when he'd been sleeping through the night for several weeks already, right when I went back to work, was pretty wretched. Other than that, we have not noticed many sleep regressions. **I say knocking wood as we approach 18 months**

Our son does head-bang, which I had not heard of, and that lead to a few bad weeks when he kept doing it in the middle of the night.

[Regina W]

My first child was still waking up 4-6 times a night at 18 months so the first sleep "regression" that actually caused anything worse than normal was the 24-27 month one. It didn't help that I was newly pregnant at that point and she wanted ONLY mommy.

With our second child, the 9 month one was the worst so far. He simply refused to go to sleep until 2am for 4 or 5 weeks. That was definitely worse than his waking 3-4 times a night that he typically did. He's only 16 months right now, so we'll see how the rest of them go...

[electriclady]

For #1, 9 months. Really it lasted from 7-11 months. Waking. Every. 45. Minutes. I kind of want to die just from the memory of it and that was 5 years ago. 4 month regression only lasted like a week with her and the others I didn't even notice.

#2 is in the throes of the 4 month regression now, even though he's 5 months old now and really should be done if he had any kind of human decency (ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME BABY?). It's not SO horrible (2-4 wakings a night) in the grand scheme of things but considering he was sleeping 7-8 hour stretches at 2 months, it feels pretty cruel.

And yes, I too am dealing with 4 month sleep regression at the same time as "OMG forgot to do this weekend's homework until 5 minutes before you have to leave for school on Monday." I'll take the school crap any day.

[Carla Hinkle]

9 months. Niiiiiiiiine mooooooonths. Ugh. Just about killed me.

@merrily the thought of the Swedes putting babies to sleep outside really made me laugh!! :-)

[Latte]

Squirmy is a year old and his sleep has been so terrible right from the start I wouldnt know a sleep regression if it bit me on the ass. Every once in a while he will sleep for ten hours straight thru without waking just to show us he can and then the next week is pure misery. Last night he was awake for two solid hours from 2 to 4 am and I am so tired and fed up with this crap I want to run away. Fed up with trying to explain to my husband that bouncing on a ball or jumping on the couch for an hour before bed is not the ideal way to get a baby to sleep!! for Frick's sake I feel like I have two infants to look after and I'm on my own. Oh and yes the pleasure of spending an hour trying to get squirmy to sleep for a nap that last 20 blasted minutes....so darn tired. Would love to crawl into bed and not come out for days.

[AmyLS]

My DS is 20 months. In terms of regression, the 18-month was the worst, and the most distinct one. It lasted 6 weeks right around when he turned 17 months. Reading Ask Moxie had me very prepared for it, and able to say to my husband, this is what this is, we just have to survive it. And we did. And he's a great sleeper now (until he turns 2, apparently).

Now, that was following an awful first year, which included the part where I was pregnant with DD but didn't know it, my milk supply was all but gone, so DS wanted to nurse around the clock. Then after we discovered this, he wanted bottles of formula around the clock to make up for the milk he hadn't been getting. So 6 months-11 months were not regression, just non-sleeping hell.

DD is 6.5 months. She's also just a bad sleeper, but at least I'm not pregnant (knock on wood) so there's plenty of milk. So it's only 3-4 wakeups a night as opposed to 8-10. I think the 9 month regression is supposed to be associated with mobility/crawling/pulling up/standing, but she's already crawling/mobile/pulling up at 6.5 months, so... does that mean we're going through the 9 mo regression now? I'm anticipating it just sucking until 11-12 months again. If we can make it until then.....

[Melissa]

Blanche,
It gets better. 35 months has been a delight. Hold on!

[Laura Lou]

I'd argue that for a first kid, 4 months is the worst. You're finally starting to feel like maybe you're figuring out this parent thing, you're back at work and dealing with that, and the newborn is finally showing signs of turning into one of those cute, interactive, baby things you expected. Then BLAMMO! Everything goes to hell! The baby is up at all hours and won't sleep! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WRONG!!?? If you're lucky, someone sends you a link to askmoxie and you realize what's going on and the supportive comments help you to get through it.

After that, and with subsequent babies, you realize it's a stage and you grit your teeth and get through. But the first one, wow, that's a real mindf*&k

[Kirsty]

Our first is only 6.5 months old, but the 4-month regression reduced me to tears.... we were cosleeping and all of a sudden she was waking every hour and I could not function during the day. The habits she picked up (apparently she can no longer sleep without screaming unless she has a boob in her mouth all night long) remain and so we are doing everything we can to fix it before we go insane :( It's lucky I would die multiple times for this child or I might run away to a far distant land JUST TO GET SOME SLEEP.

[babyinterrupted]

As the parent of a 2-year old, I would say: whichever one you're in at the moment is always THE WORST. Because you're afraid this is the one that will never end.

But looking back, the 9-month one has been the toughest so far.

[Jan]

With the first one, I didn't know about them, so when she hit the 4-month one (about 5 months), I decided we were doing something wrong, and it was clear she wasn't getting the sleep she needed, so I did hard-core CIO and after that sleep regressions were her problem, pretty much. I have my own complicated feelings about having done that, but this isn't the time or place. (Hate away, if you need to.)

With the second one, the only one I even remember noticing specifically was 9 months. I didn't call it a sleep regression, just remember a two-week period where he got two teeth, learned to push to a sitting position and pull to a standing position, and had a nasty cold kinda all at once and yeah, sleep totally fell apart during that time.

With the third, we're just coming out of the other side of the 9 month right now, I think, but we really didn't get much of a break between the 5 month (which started normally and lasted a few week and was followed by a 2 1/2 month period wherein The Child was getting sick, sick, or just getting over sick so was needy in the night and/or was experiencing daycare that wasn't letting him get appropriate daytime sleep which also effs up nights) and the 9 month.

Don't know what's the worst. I think 9 months is probably the most non-sleepy.

[Betsy]

4 months. I seriously thought that I had broken the baby. My husband and I still talk about it as the worst moments in our parenting careers - and our kid is currently 3-1/2, so that is saying something!

[Vacationland Mom]

I'm with PP's who said that their child's whole life has been a sleep regression. Well, it's not that dramatic, but I think that when I was in the 9-mo & the 18-mo which lasted forever anyways, there was no break, it was AWFUL. My son is 26.5 months at the moment, sleep is pretty much the same as it was, except not as awful. Not sure why. Our son has slept through the night a total of 2 times in his entire life (meaning a stretch of sleep longer than 6 hours). The first time was the night before I went back to work from maternity leave at 12 weeks. The second was the night we moved into our apartment when he was just about to turn 18mo. My husband and I have fought a lot about the way things are with sleep and we are even working on it in therapy. We have a plan. Wish us luck, please :)

No advice unfortunately for Question 1. Nor do I know what lies in store for age 3. Oh, forgot to mention that "teething" seemed neverending. He was always teething (still is) so it's hard to say, oh its teething when it never ends. Does that make sense??

[Laura]

With #1, it was 4-6 months. She woke every 45 minutes for 8 weeks solid. I was a total zombie. She didn't start sleeping through the night until she was about...oh, 6? But at 4 she was able to take herself to the potty, so even though I wake up to hear her tearing through the house and slamming the toilet lid open, I don't have to get up. :)

With #2, it was much less horrific, but stretched from 4-12 months. On the eve of her first birthday, she slept through the night for the first time ever. She slept great until 18 months, then not so great. Now, at nearly 3, she can tend to her own drink and snack needs in the night (yes, my kids require a small snack in the wee hours of the morning; no, I don't worry about them choking).

She is SO effortless to put to bed though. I love it. A song, a kiss, a hug, and goodnight. No fussing. She prefers less interaction at bedtime, whereas #1 needed this huge song and dance and story routine. I love second children; their expectations are so nice and low. ;)

[Jennifer C]

I think because I am in the thick of it now with Kid 2, I vote 9mo. I feel like the earlier regressions were part and parcel of being a newborn, were easily solved (nursing always worked), AND I was home on leave so I didn't have to worry about getting up by a certain time. With Kid 1, we had a lot of craziness in the toddler/preschool phase, but I felt like we were able to reason (ha ha ha!) with her and it was more annoying then exhausting.

This one just requires much more effort to get him to sleep and to get him BACK to sleep, I am tired of 9 months of interrupted sleep, and I am expected to function at work the next day.

[meggiemoo]

@ Vacationland Mom: Take heart...if my DS who didn't sleep consistently through the night until he was 4 is now a deep sleeper at 7 (nothing wakes him up), your son will surely improve over time, too.

I do believe that some children are much more easily roused out of sleep so that when they reach the light sleep phase of the night, they come all the way up to wakefulness, rather than going back into deep sleep. White noise machines and blackout curtains can help.

[Kathy B]

Right now, I'm dealing with the 60-year-old sleep regression!

[Sarah]

Daughter is now five - was a crap sleeper for the first 18-24 months with the 18 month sleep regression being the worst because she was the most physical at that point and could do the most when AWAKE! And she was big (30 lbs at 18 months) so that made wrestling down that much harder. Extended nursing is the only thing that kept me from doing her in during that second year due to lack of sleep..... But after 2, she has been great. So three now almost four years of a good sleeper helps so much!

Son is almost a year. Another crap sleeper, another ginormous kid - he will be 30 lbs by his first birthday later this month. Sleep has tracked like his sister's so I am giving him until he is two....we will see how that goes.

But when it comes to misery poker, the mom of a friend of the 5-yo's totally had me beat. Turns out her now-6-yo son woke up EVERY. THREE. HOURS. until he was FOUR. YEARS. OLD. And not just awake, but screamy-crying awake. She is now pregnant with their second and that to be embodies the idea that hope springs eternal. Her son is great and a great friend to my daughter, but oh my lands......

[pennifer]

The 4 mo one, hands down. But since he woke at least once every 2 hours until he was 10 months old, that whole effing period really sucked.

[Valerie]

3 year-olds are...challenging. Our son was a fantastic sleeper from the beginning, but I told everyone I was sure he was saving it up until he got older.

And he did. Once he hit 3 the shit hit the fan. We've worked beyond it now but good LORD it was hellish.

[Siobhan]

4 months was the worst as we had no clue what was going on and thought it was a growth spurt. As we were EBF I dealt with the whole lot and nearly broke. Sleep trained a bit (pick up put down) at the nine month one and felt a bit more in control (and split the night with the husband) 15-16 months was a pain in the arse coinciding with holiday and me losing my job and all the sleeplessness and worry that went with that. Little Dude turns 18 months on Tuesday so keeping my fingers crossed we skip that one as he's been dong 11-12 hours a night for a couple of weeks now (wooooooo!!!).
I'm in the 'it gets better' camp, take heart comrades!

[Thy]

Bite me with these sleep regressions! 3 out of my 3 kids did not start sleeping more than an hour at a time until they were approaching 12 months and even after that they would happily nurse every blasted hour most nights for another 6 months or so.
And my oldest and the youngest only slept whilst being in my arms for the first year. No blasted car seats, strollers, swings or even other peoples' arms would do. The fastest way to wake up a deeply sleeping baby of mine is to put it down with utmost care. Within minutes we will have a wailing baby!

Somebody have to talk about these babies too. And tell you that, at least mine, turned into ok sleepers anyways. After 3-4 years that is.

[Rbelle]

As far as the actual sleep regression itself, four months was the worst because she was actually sleeping through the night before then. And she didn't sleep through the night again until she was two (and even then, a night with absolutely no wakeups is extremey rare). So I didn't really notice the others. HOWEVER, as far as the rest of the regression-related behaviors, 18 months has been the worst so far, maybe because we were finally seeing a smidge of independence from my very demanding child, only to have it disappear almost overnight. The complete meltdowns when I disappeared for more than 5 seconds lasted for a couple of months at least, and the only reason I get anything done at all is because we took down the baby gate when she turned two and gave her the run of the house.

Now we're struggling with whether to try to "fix" the sleep problems we're having - an hour or more of "quiet time" before she's willing to settle, still waking up at least once a night, only sleeping long stretches if she comes into our bed, and, my favorite, talking in her sleep or as she's waking up, sometimes multiple times a night. It's ironic because she's one of the worst transitioners from sleep to waking I know. It can take 30 minutes or more to get her out of her grumpies, get her to stop wanting to nurse, get her to be willing to be put down so I can fix breakfast. And yet she still wakes up saying a complete sentence or five (usually making demands) whether it's two or eight in the morning. It's really weird to have an entire conversation with your kid and then have her fall back asleep ... or worse, force you to keep her awake, if it's morning. I know most parents have the opposite problem, and hate that their kids pop awake at 6 and I can certainly sympathize. But seriously, having a toddler you have to drag out of bed like a surly teenager, especially when we've been trying for months to make an earlier schedule happen, is it's own special brand of hell.

[Sharon Silver]

Gorilla Glue will glue anything. Just make sure you have a wet paper towel and are very neat, it won't come off or dry invisibly like other glues.

Child #1: Hands down it was the 3 yr. old regression. He wouldn't stay in his room for love or money, and we bribed him! I was pregnant and confined to bed for 4 months with #2. We figured that was what was causing this. One day after reading Children the Challenge we decided to lock our bedroom door that night. He s-c-r-e-a-m-e-d and we cried. The next day hubby threw out Children the Challenge.
The funny thing about that is my first training in parenting was based on the work of Dreikurs who wrote Children the Challenge.

Child #2 I never noticed the 4 month old regression because #2 never slept for more than 20 minutes at a stretch, no lie, from birth to 10 months. Turned out to be a physical issue.

Between the two of them I was so sleep deprived I lived in a fog.
I feel your pain ladies!

[Jill]

I can't believe you guys have had these defined sleep regressions. I feel like 0-18 months was just one big long lack of sleep.

[teachergirl]

#1: 9 months. started at 8 months, lasted until 12 months. i am convinced it was a combination of teething, development (right around there she started walking and talking), and whatever crazy switch gets pulled in their brains. co-sleeping was the only thing that saved us in the midst of it, as at one point she refused to stay in her crib and i was newly pregnant and desperately just needed to freaking sleep.

by 12 months, we started working with her to stay in her bed, then fall asleep in her bed, etc etc. now at 21 months, she is going to sleep on her own by herself and wakes only when something's up (we just moved and traveled and she's getting 2 year molars, and she's still so much better than she was at 9 month).

#2 is 4 months old and her naps have gone to heck in a handbasket. but she sleeps right next to me in a co-sleeper and i nurse her several times a night anyway, and i've gone through nursing all night long, so anything remotely resembling a 3 or 4 hour stretch is sleep nirvana.

but i am tired. i fear the 9 month one. i really do. it's like approaching the corner where you got t-boned by a mack truck. you want to tell yourself it's all different, that you'll do it better this time, but you still say your prayers and flinch.

[kazari]

I am totally struggling with the three year old that won't go to bed, by myself. My frustration is exacerbated by the fact that he goes to sleep with no issue for his dad (or at least, that's what I'm told, although daycare tells me he's more tired after nights with dad - that's a whole nother issue)

I still have more things to try, but wonder how long I should persist with each tactic before moving to the next?