As the book turns

The book is not going to be out at the end of this month.

And it's not that I couldn't have written it that fast. I just got off track.

I really seized up and was laboring over every sentence. Which is not at all like me. Writing for me is just the means to tell you what I want to share with you. I have the thought, and it kind of just comes out through my fingers at the same time. Sometimes I spend time chosing a precise word, but usually it's just a straight shot from my brain to the screen (with only a little friction from my fingers).

But I was getting all twisted up about making it perfect. And then I realized that by doing that, I was doing exactly what I had NOT wanted to do, which was write a book for the whole world, instead of for you.

I believe that anyone can be a good parent, that we all have the raw materials inside of us, even if we don't see it right now. But some people don't want to be good parents or just don't care, or are parenting the way there are just because they think it will make them look good. I'm not writing for them, either the book or on this site. I'm writing for you, the parents (and surprising number of non-parents) who do care, about being a parent, about how your kids feel, about what relationship you form with your kids, about how parenting intersects with the world, about how to be the person you want to be.

And maybe you just think you're normal, because you don't know any other way to be except thoughtful and logical. You think everyone cares and takes it as seriously as you do. But they don't.

I have often marveled in these seven years of writing for and to and with you that this site doesn't devolve into meanness and trollery. But I think the people who want to fight just don't come here. People who understand nuance and good faith come here. And that means we all get the benefit of the doubt as we're figuring it out together.

So, back to the book: I'm writing it to you, not to the world, and it's way easier now. The whole thing isn't going to be ready this month, but I will have a little slice of it for you in a few weeks. And then the final version in a few months.

In the meantime, I've got something new some of you might like in a few weeks. And I've got this teleseminar today with Meggin McIntosh (click here to register to listen live or get the mp3 after the fact) about using the skills you've developed naturally as a parent at work. And, of course, you can always follow my cat Alex on Facebook.

Comments

[Lisa F.]

Go Moxie! Way to figure it out. Mercury's retrograde right now, so take your time ;) So Grateful for this site. Your posts, and the community, have both been a lifeline for me when I haven't found the support IRL that I need. Are you sick of hearing that yet? Off to find Alex.

[pennifer]

Great to hear an update! I was just wondering about how you were doing on this front and now I can look forward to a sampling down the road. You'll get this done one way or another, and it's going to be fantastic.

[Vacationland Mom]

YES! You should write it just like you parent, best you can, not important what other people think, what matters is your relationship with your readership, not the masses. You'll make mistakes. You'll want to do it all perfectly. And we all know you'll knock it out of the park.

[Rudyinparis]

Whoah, I plumb forgot about the book! Oh, it will all come together and be great. Big cheers to you!

[Peasy's Mom]

I think you attract readers who understand nuance because *you* understand nuance. I recommend your blog to all new moms I know precisely because you offer information and advice without insisting that readers follow a particular parenting method. You advocate parenting with love and integrity; the rest is just details. I thank you for that, and I look forward to the book, whenever it is ready.

[the milliner]

Wow. Just wow. Kudos for figuring out how and why you got off track with the book. I bet a good many people writing a book never figure out that they've gotten off track, let alone why. The book will be ready when it's ready.

And thank you for this post. It made me feel good about who I am...no small gift for tonight after some less than stellar parenting moments. Happy weekend!

[Asha Dornfest {Parent Hacks}]

You're amazing, Moxie. I can't WAIT to read this.

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