I got an anguished plea for some kind of help, or maybe just a free pass, from a friend the other day. She's been working a lot lately (on a project that will end but can't be put off now), and her son has been very verbal about not wanting her to be gone. But when she's there he pays no attention to her. And when he does he tells her she's doing it wrong (whatever the job of the moment is) and no matter what she does she can't seem to win with him. It's hurting her heart and making her feel like a failure.
"Well, he IS 2 1/2, right?" I asked, in an attempt to point out that it had nothing to do with her.
"Wait, that's an actual thing? It's not just me???" she replied.
She'd been thinking she was a horrible parent because of the way he was responding to her.
No, no, no, no, no.
The half years (for most kids--yours may be on a different cycle) are times of disequilibrium. (We learned this from the fantastic series of books by Louise Bates Ames and Frances Ilg of the Gesell Institute of Child Development. They're a little dated on parental roles, but the info about what kids do at any given age is rock solid and so redemptive.) Full years tend to be times of equilibrium. So that's why often 2-year-olds are happy, chirpy little talkers who can run and jump and twirl, but then by the time they get to 2 1/2 they're defiant, snarling, tantruming, unhappy kids who trip and stutter. It's all the forward-then-back of the spiral of development.
And it will pass. Even if you feel like you can't take anymore of this jerky person who took over your little sweetheart's body (seemingly overnight), this developmental phase will pass and your child will go into equilibrium again.
My suggestions to deal are:
1. Keep reminding yourself that it's not you, it's your kid. And that it's appropriate and normal for your kid, but still hurtful for you.
2. If you like to read about things, read the Ames and Ilg book on two-year-olds as a description of what's happening, and then get Sharon Silver's excellent book with strategies about how to parent 2- and 3-year-olds.
3. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Who's got a story about a 2 1/2-year-old who made you feel horrible then but is delightful now?
When my son turned 2.5, my husband and I became actually terrified - we thought, someone has stolen our son and replacement him with satan incarnate. He had never been tantrum prone, and wham! tantrums, resistance, attitude, aggression, everything you can imagine times eleventy, including suddenly refusing to go to bed (bedtimes became 2 hour nightmare affairs). We thought, we've lost our darling boy. Then wham! he turned three and it (almost) all subsided. Our boy came back, like magic. It taught us a valuable lesson about the crashing waves of developmental moodiness.
Posted by: Erin | October 23, 2012 at 02:54 PM
Not really struggling with the personality, but a lot more opinions in clothing, etc. worst is back to waking a lot at night. 31 months in, I want sleep!,
Posted by: Anon | October 23, 2012 at 03:08 PM
I see this with my son who is going through this at 4.5. Every half year is awful. Also its coinciding with a growth spurt which makes him emotionally fragile and difficult to deal with on the best of days. I do try and tell myself that it gets better (because deep down I know it does) but man, the days just suck.
A cup of hot cider with a shot of spiced rum after bedtime does help quite a bit.
Posted by: Purdy Bird | October 23, 2012 at 03:24 PM
Here's my 2.5 year old confession that might help someone (I hope). He used to have such horrible tantrums that I'd video them so that if he hurt himself I could have PROOF that I didn't do it. I am not kidding. And, then, one day, I found out his Dad had recorded a tantrum, for similar reasons. We were also hoping to compare WTF videos with one another, because it was really really awful.
And, then... the tantrums faded away. My kid will now try to argue with me at length, but I'll take that over the violent flailing, jumping, hitting, biting, screaming, crying tantrums ANY day. Good luck 2.5 year old parents. It gets better.
My biggest 3.5 year old problem is a potty training regression that baffles me. I thought we were nearing the finish line, and now we seem to be in reverse. Disequilibrium? I hope that's all it is.
Posted by: Susan | October 23, 2012 at 03:34 PM
At 2 1/2, my DD (now 6 1/2 and not suffering any disequilibrium, knocking on wood), learned quickly that her tantrum snot was my button to push. She'd cry and produce snot, and I'd wipe her face. She would resist being cleaned up, and soon upped her game to blasting the snot out of her nose and all over her face. I'd be more aggressive in trying to clean up the nasty mess, and she stepped it up again - she would blast snot and then smear it all over her face and into her hair. I was close to going apesh*t. She had snot-smear-worthy tantrums at least twice a day.
It took me a few days to talk myself into calming down enough to ignore the snot (one doesn't *just* ignore the snot), but when I finally implemented my cool exterior and restrained myself from lunging at her face with a wet washcloth, she soon (less than a week, if I recall) stopped snot tactics altogether. Thus ended her many months of snot terror.
Ah, the memories. I think it's about time to tell her that story.
Posted by: Claudia | October 23, 2012 at 03:55 PM
My daughter is exactly 2.5 today and we've been noticing similar things -- especially her saying she misses me when I'm away and acting like I am the enemy when I'm home. I'm relieved it's not just us!
Posted by: Emily | October 23, 2012 at 03:58 PM
It gets worse? I mean, I have two older kids, 8 and 4, and maybe I blocked it out of my mind, but I don't remember 2.5 as a bad time with them. But my 25 month old has been a real pill lately, what with a weird sleep regression that may be caused by Mexican food, and being just generally ornery and defiant and destructive. I'm hoping that our cycle is different, and she's being the 2.5 monster ahead of schedule, because if she gets worse, I'm sending her back. ::Off to find the receipt now::
Posted by: Zoë | October 23, 2012 at 04:00 PM
I think I blocked out 2.5, but I can say I currently have a 3.5-year-old and a nearly 18-month-old and I can totally agree with the Ames/Ilg theory that the half years are the times of disequilibrium. It has held true with both of my children. I believe 2.5 was tantrum central around here, then it abated a bit, and 3.5 was (sorry to say this) worse. However, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel as we approach 4.
However, the 18-month-old is going to be the death of me, as she's decided she wants to sleep like a newborn and only wants me AT ALL TIMES.
Sorry for the tangent. The point of my post is to say that everything is a phase that does, eventually, get better!
Posted by: MJ | October 23, 2012 at 04:03 PM
I'm currently right in the middle of the 2 1/2's. I realized that my hopes for a good day had drastically changed when I considered any day where I didn't sob uncontrollably on my way to work to be a good day. Husband works night shift so the 2 hour bedtime "routine" that made me wish she'd never been given a big girl bed and the morning tantrums about not liking that shirt, not wanting to go potty, "I stay home with you, Mommy" is either me alone, or me alone trying not to wake up an exhausted spouse. I actually bought the book above last week because I remembered Moxie mentioning the series. I do think she's getting better, or I'm getting tougher skin / better tactics but I am secretly in a holding pattern waiting for the next equilibrium stage to bless us with its presence. :)
Posted by: Devin | October 23, 2012 at 04:09 PM
OMG, I didn't even think about the half year thing! My 34 month old son has been driving us crazy for a few months now! He's actually started to improve a little the last few weeks, but the last half of summer was brutal. I really felt like we were truly the worst parents ever, and I was starting to worry we were raising a deranged serial killer. He's still awfully defiant and does a lot of hitting and kicking, but it definitely is improving.
Posted by: Jen | October 23, 2012 at 04:29 PM
2-1/2 wasn't too bad, but (sorry to lay this on you parents of 2-1/2-year-olds) 3-1/2 has been purely awful. What almost makes it worse is that both of my kids are the type who keep it together around other people and then let us have it when we're home. So everyone else thinks they're awesome, my 3-1/2-year-old DD in particular. I recently told my sister that my DD is the most horrid preschooler I know.
Since I know it's a phase that will end in a few months, my strategy is not to "win" with her (because there's no winning with a 3-1/2-year-old), but to control my own emotions so we're not both spiraling out of control.
Posted by: meggiemoo | October 23, 2012 at 04:35 PM
I'm trying to enjoy the 2 year old equilibrium and not think about the 2.5yo tantrums to come... I do very much dislike the kicking in the face and boobs when I'm trying to change his diaper. Maybe it's a sign to try potty training again?
Posted by: Vacationland Mom | October 23, 2012 at 04:47 PM
There's a reason that 3.5 almost won the Parenting March Madness Moxie did back in the Spring. I forget what it actually lost to, but I do remember it got very far, and beat your child vomiting in your mouth, so there's that.
Even though I hate to generalize like this on gender, but among my friends, co-workers, previous nanny charges & own children there is seemingly a trend that 2.5 for girls is bad, and 3.5 for boys is bad.
FWIW, when our son turned 3, we thought - hey, 2 wasn't that bad, so 3 might suck. Then almost halfway through 3, we thought - hey, he's still not bad - how did we get so lucky? Then at 3.5 and 1 day, he exploded and was alternately the worst child ever or the best child ever (sometimes within the span of 10 minutes being both). It was baffling. But then he turned 4, and is awesome.
Good luck! Hopefully those of you with 2.5 year olds that are rough give you a break at 3 and you don't have to do both 2.5 and 3.5.
Posted by: Nelle | October 23, 2012 at 04:53 PM
My 2 1/2 yo son is very sweet to me, but basically acts like he doesn't like his dad. We spend about equal amount of time with him (we both work outside the home), so I'm not really sure what the cause is, but it really hurts my husband's feelings.
Posted by: Zarah | October 23, 2012 at 05:00 PM
Oh dear lord, 2.5 is going to kill me. Older son is 33 months right now and I can't tell what is the age and what is from having a new baby in the house, but he doesn't even resemble my son anymore. EVERYTHING is a screaming/crying/sometimes head banging tantrum. Very much trying to tread water until we hit the equilibrium stage again and PRAYING that 3.5 isn't this bad.
Posted by: Tara | October 23, 2012 at 05:17 PM
We used to joke that the little monsters from Gremlins had come and replaced our son. Now he's 3.5 which is the same, but at a higher volume.
Posted by: Jenny F. Scientist, PhD | October 23, 2012 at 05:35 PM
Yeah, 2.5 is rehearsal for 3.5. But after that, it's a comparative cakewalk for the next 3 years at least.
My favorite (in retrospect) from 2.5: Little green truck drives by our house. T enjoys truck, we wave to it, etc. But then it drives away. There follows 40 minutes of massive keening and sobbing: "Little green truck come baaaaack! Mommy, why isn't it coming back? I want it to come baaaaaaaaaaack!!!! Make it drive back here! No, don't talk to me. Don't touch me! DO NOT LEAVE ME MOMMY I want you to sit right here! Make the truck come BACK!!!" More sobbing, yelling, kicking, etc.
My theory on this: 2.5 is when kids really begin to realize how little of the world they actually control. You can offer more choices and autonomy, but in the end, the little green trucks of the world are not going to do their bidding. And that's a hard thing to face.
(Favorite from 3.5, in the same vein: "I want time to go backwards!" You can imagine how that one went.)
Posted by: Lisa | October 23, 2012 at 06:18 PM
When my daughter was 2.5 I was the most smug mother ever. She ate everything I gave her, she was sweet and funny and cute. By 3.5 she was a monster and I was ready to turn myself into DSS. *Lesson:* It's mostly not your fault if you are the parent of a devil -- or an angel.
She had her 9th birthday earlier this month and the pattern she is still in is to have a HARD time leading up to her birthday, smooth out immediately afterwards, be awful again around the half-birthday and then smooth out again. It's a merry go round. Hopefully each circuit brings evolution and not just a repeat of the same crap.
Posted by: Maria | October 23, 2012 at 06:21 PM
With my firstborn, I felt like I totally lost my child at 2.5 and even at just past 6, I do not feel like I've fully recovered her sweetness. That first major disequilibrium rocked her so hard, and coupled with whatever Sensory issues and other junk we are dealing with, it has just been really, really hard ever since.
So when #2 was approaching 2.5, I was terrified that I was again going to lose my sweet little girlie. But, aside from some awfully endearing attempts at rebellion and disobedience, she's really pretty normal. I think maybe seeing her sister having freakouts and meltdowns has kind of taken the novelty out of trying it for herself? Or I'm just blessed with a super mellow kid. Or maybe 3.5 will be harder for her. Who knows! I'm just glad not to be reliving the past again.
Posted by: Laura | October 23, 2012 at 06:43 PM
My kid seems to run on a quarter year cycle. She was awful at 18 months, then ok. Then awful at 2, then ok. Then awful at 2.5 (which sucked since we decided to get preg again when the 18 month awfulness subsided). At 3 on the dot she went from sweet and wonderful to malaise. I'm hoping the end is near, at 3.5, then bad again just before 4????
Posted by: Punky | October 23, 2012 at 06:46 PM
Thank you Moxie for mentioning my book, Stop Reacting and Start Responding.
For the mom who prompted this post, I hope this makes sense.
His statement, "You're doing it wrong" is his immature thinking at work. He's telling you that the person who is taking care of him, while you’re at work, does this differently. You’ve NOT been replaced.
No working parent wants see their child have issues bonding with their caretaker. And truthfully, no working parent wants his or her child to bond so well with the caretaker that the child seems to favor the caretaker. All parents want daycare to be successful, and yet, success breads feelings of being left out.
Let’s play make believe for a moment and use tying shoes as an example. His caretaker taught him how to tie his shoes. He loves and adores mom, however, she doesn’t tie shoes the same way he was taught, so he thinks mom is doing it wrong.
Instead of being upset, congratulate yourself. You’ve created a rock solid place in your child’s heart and self esteem. So much so he’s confident enough to connect to another person, let her teach him how to tie his shoes without crying for mom, and he’s strong enough to tell you you’re wrong without fear of losing your love and acceptance. Well done!
From 2-5 is a very difficult time for many reasons. Children seem older and more capable of understanding than they truly are. They still have a lot of learning to do to understand the subtle nature of words, actions and feelings. It won't be like this forever, and this person has NOT taken your place.
Posted by: Sharon Silver | October 23, 2012 at 07:24 PM
I'm not sure where we are in this mess, but at 2.5 our lovely daughter's behavior changed as well and everything just got HARDER. Supposedly at 3 it was supposed to right itself, but it's just continuing to suck. So if 3.5 gets worse, I think I'm going to join the circus. Because 3 is not the sunshiny cheeryland Ames & Ilg told me about.
Posted by: ARC | October 23, 2012 at 07:45 PM
I found 3.5 to be a living hell. Really, his daycare called in a social worker to help him with his anger issues. Now, at 5.5 he is a mostly pleasant, interesting little person.
Posted by: Kate | October 23, 2012 at 07:56 PM
none of these equilibrium/disequilibrium ideas have ever worked for ds. with his prematurity and autistic traits...yeah, he needs his *own* manual because none of the others fit him. at 2 1/2, he had just learned to walk and was working on learning to talk.
just a 'not us this time' data point. :)
Posted by: marci | October 23, 2012 at 08:08 PM
@Kate - thank you for giving me hope!
Posted by: MJ | October 23, 2012 at 08:09 PM
We are in the middle of this too! Our child is 2.5 yo. (well, 2.75 if you want to be technical about it.) He has been pushing us a lot! But like @maggiemoo, son is great around other people. At day care, he goes right in and joins the group. People always comment how sweet he is.
But for us, he wants to do his own thing, and on his timeline. We try to allow it, as much as we can. But we also have consequences. on the weekends, if he does not want to get dressed to go somewhere, we will not make him get dressed, and mommy or daddy will go by themselves. If we have to get him dressed, because of work or other obligations, he goes in time away/time out until he is ready to get dressed.
And bedtime is usually a battle. It takes him forever to calm down enough to go to sleep!
I just moved his clothes to the bottom drawers of the dresser, so that he can pick out his own clothes by himself. We will see if that helps in the mornings. I doubt there is any solution to bedtime. Just stick to our routine.
Posted by: vablondie | October 23, 2012 at 09:45 PM
Hm. Maybe that's why I've wanted to put my 8 1/2 + 1 week daughter on the porch with a "free to good home" sign the last couple days. The clinging and whining - where did they come from, I thought we were done with this!! OTOH it could be that the Schedule Gods have aligned so that between Friday and Tuesday she has 7 physically intense activities. (I just figured that out; please don't jump on me, three weeks ago only three of them existed. Things happened with PE at school and getting a part in a performance. I think I need to send extra snacks and make sure she gets to bed on time.)
Sooooo anyway, when not weary and hungry she's quite a delightful and largely rational creature; back at 2 1/2 she was such a shrieky freaky little thing I really thought I was doing something wrong. I remember her screaming her head off for half an hour, in front of the daycare staff, because she had learned to put her own jacket on and I didn't realize it and helped her. And one of my most shameful memories is of yelling at her "PUT YOUR &%*$^ING PANTS ON" around that age. Oy. The nice thing about now is I can mention it to her - "I think you might be growing kind of fast right now in addition to having all these dance classes and workouts - what do you think would help, maybe more snacks so your energy doesn't crash?" "yes, and can I have a bath with salts and a cuddle" "yep"; she also asked her piano teacher for a fun easy piece because her brain was fried from a really challenging one. So I think it might keep happening, but coping with it gets easier.
Posted by: Charisse | October 23, 2012 at 10:10 PM
Ah, the 1/2 years. L predictably has a rough patch at that point, and oh, lucky us, it's timed with Christmas.
At 2 1/2, it was mostly throwing toys, laughing after he physically hurt us (by accident or on purpose), and the whole clothing thing as @Charisse mentions above. Like the exact same things: learning the jacket trick, us not knowing & trying to help, pants, shoes, you name it. If you need a little comic relief and camaraderie on the clothing challenge, listen to the song 'Pants' by the Wailin' Jennys. Oh so appropos:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XXlgUKWZzU
At 3.5 it was potty training regression. And as much as 2.5 was a pain, the regression made my head spin. 7 accidents per day on the sofa. It completely drove me insane. Eventually it became a mind over matter thing (ours, not his) and as soon as the pressure was off, things relaxed. Eventually the issue disappeared and at 4 he became responsible again regarding going to the bathroom. He apologizes now if he so much as spills a drop of water on the sofa.
Gearing up for 4.5, which is coming fast. Hoping we'll be spared this round, but not counting on it.
FWIW we also have a small blip right before his birthday, but it's much smaller.
Posted by: the milliner | October 23, 2012 at 11:25 PM
And yes, being able to have conversations now about the 'off' days or moments is a big help. At 2 1/2, not so easy.
Posted by: the milliner | October 23, 2012 at 11:28 PM
Damn. After the crap that was 18 months to 2 years, I was really hoping for more time in the equilibrium phase. At 25 months we're already starting to see signs of 2.5. Today, it was a full-on sobfest because I told her we were out of OJ. Fortunately, she hasn't had any really physical tantrums for a while (she was already slamming her head on the floor around a year and I was sure we were in for it, but she seems to have mellowed somewhat). She just stood there moaning about "orsh joosh" with tears pouring down her face, and I'll admit it. I laughed and laughed (silently, of course, with an instant straight face every time she looked at me). For me, the worse the tantrum, the better I seem to handle it - or maybe laughing hysterically isn't handling it well, but at least it makes me feel better than flying off the handle and snapping at her. It's the whining that makes me want to scream, and our daughter is on her way to an olympic medal in whinge. And I'm newly pregnant and so, so tired.
I'll say too that for us, there's none of the faucet on, faucet off (not since the 4-month sleep regression). It's a pit, followed by a slow climb to a nice sunny hill, followed by a down slope wherein the horror gradually picks up speed. Throw in unexpected variables (my daughter pushed through three molars in the last month completely unbeknownst to me ... except for how she suddenly backslid with the sleeping and increased her nursing. Der.) and it's basically a crapshoot we're dealing with. I try to cling desperately to the old Anne of Green Gables quote for both of us - "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it."
Posted by: Rbelle | October 23, 2012 at 11:39 PM
I just want to add that many parents have the experience of @meggiemoo that 2.5 is a warm up for 3.5, but my son was the devil's own at 2.5 and 3.5 had challenges but nothing compared to 2.5 So it doesn't always go that way! But then again, he appears to have been saving up all his 3.5 craziness for 4.
Posted by: Erin | October 24, 2012 at 07:38 AM
Agree with Erin. My daughter was tantrum central at 2.5, but she's been much more even keel ever since. I really dreaded 3, and 3 was great. I didn't dread 4 so much, and 4 was great. Five was shockingly wonderful. It isn't always bigger and more horrible.
Posted by: Claudia | October 24, 2012 at 08:40 AM
Three years old was one of the worst years ever. Four has almost been worse. Equally as bad, at least. Everything up until age three was just fine. Our oldest is oppositinal and defiant. She does not change at the half-year mark, only remains difficult. The younger one will be 2.5 v soon, but I have no worries as she is the most delightful and logical toddler in existence. NOTHING that she could do would be worse than what her sister currently does. NOTHING.
Posted by: Foster | October 24, 2012 at 09:16 AM
Erin and Claudia - thank you!! Your posts seriously give me hope. Honestly, I don't know how ANYTHING can be worse than 2 1/2 is right now.
Posted by: Tara | October 24, 2012 at 09:43 AM
Hey - I have a question/theory: These half year phases are disequalibrium for the child, but couldn't they also be disequlibrium for the adult? It seems like it is plausible that as a child is going through growing pains (I think that's what these phases are, like psychological growing pains) then your relationship with your child and you, yourself might be going through them also. At the very least, they are a good cue that it'll be time soon to step back and take another look at things. I think Hedra has talked about it as her child outgrowing her parenting. I can't think of specific examples, but it seems like as you come out of the half-year phase, everyone is re-steadied and rebalanced.
Posted by: Cathy | October 24, 2012 at 11:03 AM
My older child is almost five, and 2 1/2 was by far the most challenging age I've dealt with yet. Why?
1. "I want [shiny object/sugary treat] RIGHT NOW!"
2. Multiple outfit changes per day, and saying no or setting limits led to screaming and crying
3. Potty training
4. Insistence on wearing a ballerina tutu at all times, including to bed. This one wasn't so bad except that the tutu really got in the way of potty training and car seat buckling.
5. A family vacation at the height of Tantrum Season, complete with judgmental relatives, no naps, and nightmarish dinnertime meltdowns.
My second will be at this age in a year, and I am already stocking up on gin.
Posted by: Julie | October 24, 2012 at 12:32 PM
I found it incredibly helpful to talk to other moms with 2 1/2-year-olds.
I should also add that the awfulness only lasted for about 3-4 months. Ages 24-28ish months were delightful and made me wonder why people talk about the terrible twos. As my daughter approached three, she became more delightful again.
Posted by: Julie | October 24, 2012 at 12:46 PM
Oh my goodness, I totally did not know that this was a thing. My girl just turned two-and-a-half a few weeks ago, and apparently right on schedule, she started stuttering, saying NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! to ever request made of her, losing her mind over the injustice of being fed cereal for breakfast (a former favourite) and just generally being full of "I no want!" "I don't like" to the point where I'm saying things like "Do you want chocolate?" and receiving a very angry NOOOOOOOOO! as an answer.
Needless to say, this post has me much relieved.
Posted by: erica @ expatria, baby | October 25, 2012 at 12:27 AM
I came here to search for this exact issue (but for a 4.5 year old). Having some behavioral issues at pre-k, and just covering all my bases and trying to stay sane.
Posted by: Judy | October 25, 2012 at 10:57 AM
2.5 wasn't bad, but if you ask me, 3 is the new 2. Age 3 was just hard, and 3.5 was as hard as it ever got with my child (now 10). The defiance is just out of this world. We survived...but while I talk about wanting to revisit the smallness, I would never EVER want to go back to 3.5.
Posted by: Celeste | October 25, 2012 at 10:59 AM
3.5 was hell with our now 5 yr. old son. Our 2 year old has been having occasional tantrums since 18 months (!!) and i'm fearing the 3.5 year old nightmare again. And I always heard the 2's were bad! Boy, I'll take that over 3.5 ANY DAY!! Thank god for wine. And take out pizza.
Posted by: Michele | October 28, 2012 at 05:03 PM
My second is now 2.5 and I'm reliving the pain (though I still think the first one was worse at this age). The screaming, food throwing, wanting to be carried at all times - oh, my.
I try to remind myself that this is a phase and knowing that helped so much the first time. And your posts about this stuff have always helped. Thanks so much!
Posted by: SW | November 02, 2012 at 01:14 PM
So wonderful your draehtgus are so close. Baby is my big helper with her brother. I hope they end up the same way.I also have a sister 2.5 yr older than me. We get along so well, now that we live in different states! lol
Posted by: Hisashi | November 03, 2012 at 09:31 AM
When one within our rnuinng community is taken from us, we come closer to understanding that with the passing of each mile we slog, jog, run or race, realize that what we do isn't about the quantity of life but the quality of life itself. I ran the PRR with her. She beat me. Badly. Condolences to her family and may she RIP.
Posted by: Asfiya | November 03, 2012 at 10:43 AM
I was blessed to have met and bliefry spoken to Grete at several races in NY and on Long Island she was a warm ambassador for the running community and her loss will be greatly felt My heart goes to her family and close friends at this difficult time.
Posted by: Mxabisto | November 03, 2012 at 03:09 PM
she has Down syndrome and they slhuod be more understanding, I mean what kids doesn't burn bridges and stirs the pot and doesn't have a disibility to deal with. That is so so sad. Sometimes I guess it's not so great to wish for a high functioning child, maybe it's easier if they are mentally lower functioning. It's so hard sometimes, it just breaks your heart.
Posted by: Mike | November 03, 2012 at 04:15 PM
HI suzie This is awful. You made think, and to be honest it is one of my bgeigst fear. What tarek will do if I'm not here. tarek doesn't have brothers or sister . and his dad is kind of Out of the picture. I will really have to start thinking in a future plan. Just in case.! I have to change the old blog to the new blog! I will do it soon.Say hi to lily .Cecy
Posted by: Diananisa | November 05, 2012 at 12:39 AM
oh, I am so sorry to read this. Just heartbreaking.Although i do not have a child with DS, I do have a son that is low fotiniuncng that my husband I are having to plan for we do our best to always treat him the same as his siblings and although my oldest kids know their older brother is different , they all treat him equally.Saying prayers for your friend
Posted by: Sarah | November 05, 2012 at 12:58 AM
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I hope she acecpts the help you are offering (if she is independent, I don't think her family can really make any decisions for her anyway).I was wondering if it was possible that your friend might have early onset Alzheimer's? It's VERY common in adults with Down syndrome. I know one girl who was diagnosed with it at age 20.
Posted by: Sujitkumar | November 05, 2012 at 01:36 AM
I am so sorry for the struggles your frined is going through. And I am impressed by the size of your heart. May God give you wisdom and grace as you deal with this situation. P.S. Thank you for labeling this post so clearly as sad news. That makes it very easy to direct Butterfly away from reading it.
Posted by: Elena | November 05, 2012 at 01:37 AM