Q&A: Baby "dancing" in his sleep and waking himself up

Here's a lovely post from my ex-husband about not being with the kids every day.

And now a question I don't know the answer to any more than I ever do, from Leah:

"When it comes to sleep, I quote Tolstoy: “Well-rested families are all alike; every sleep-deprived family is sleep-deprived in its own way.” Yet after hours of fruitless interneting, I still can’t help but think that some other parent has been through a version of what’s going on with my 3-month-old son.

For weeks (with the exception of the usual developmental fussy phases), our night-time routine has been as follows: fall asleep without issue in the co-sleeper next to our bed, wake once or twice to eat, and then, around 4:00 or 5:00, enter a strange semi-sleep in which he starts "dancing the highland jig," as my own mother put it... The arms shoot up, the legs kick, then they come back down for a minute before the process starts over again. Eventually, this wakes him up and causes him to start crying, and while I can usually settle him by nursing, it’s not a settled sleep he re-enters, which means no more sleep for me, either.

I’ve tried swaddling—he breaks free, though I’ll admit that I’m not the world’s most competent swaddler at that hour of the night. I’ve tried bringing him into our bed—he continues to sleep fitfully, and so do I, wondering how long I’ve got before his movements wake him up again. Occasionally, if I tough it out till 6:00 or 6:30, he’ll go down for another jig-free hour, but by then we’re past the time when I need to get up for work. I've also tried experimenting with an earlier bedtime (it’s usually between 7:00 and 8:00), and I try to hew to the 90-minute wakefulness rule for naps during the day (though he's not a terrific napper, which I guess one would expect at this age).

Is this the startle reflex? Is he actually “ready” to get up? I can’t seem to understand why it happens when it does, and why so consistently. Will I get relief when he’s old enough to have more motor control, or is this one of those mysteries that I can simply count on improving at some unspecified point in the future?

Anyway. I hope I'm not out of line in writing you, but the only thing our pediatrician suggested was moving him to another room! Which, you know, fine, but that still would only give me about 15-20 more minutes at each interval, since once he's up, he'll start crying."

So in my defense, Leah's pediatrician doesn't know what to do, either.

I'm going to go to my standard MO, which is to use process of elimination:

1. Gas. Gas? I don't know, but the cycling of the legs sounds like gas. I can't even remember what you're supposed to do about gas anymore except eliminate criciferous vegetables from your diet and try gripe water or mylecon drops. (Have gas treatments advanced in the last 5 years? I'm at the phase of mothering in which gas issues are all about fart jokes.)

2. Silent reflux? How does he sleep when he's not lying flat? If he's able to sleep longer if he's sleeping in a stroller or with his head elevated, then this is probably silent reflux, and he'll probably grow out of it. In the meantime, try elevating the head of the co-sleeper to see if he gets longer stretches at night.

3. Some kind of restless legs/arms thing that would be helped by swaddling? Maybe it's worth it to invest in one of those magic blankets that swaddles your baby for you so you don't have to struggle with it in the middle of the night.

4. Pre-sleepwalking? Is it possible that whatever makes older humans sleepwalk is already manifesting itself in your pre-mobile child? (This one's clearly a random stab, but who knows?)

5. Your son is the heir to the Lord of the Dance?

I'd really look at the first two and see if you can make any small changes to see if it could be gas or reflux. I haven't heard of this kind of dancing thing that lasts for awhile while the child is still sleeping, but on the other hand, all bets are really off when a baby's only three months old.

Has anyone out there gone through this? Is it something common that I just haven't run across? Other things for Leah to try?

Comments

[Melissa H]

I realize this totally, totally goes against medical advice but have you tried letting him sleep on his tummy? Obviously with full knowledge that back sleeping is safer for a baby his age. But my son WOULD NOT sleep on his back and slept great on his tummy. No blankets/pillows etc etc and only try it if you feel comfortable but if his legs and arms are stuck under him maybe he wouldn't dance so much?

[Sarah]

My kiddo did that! We had to swaddle him pretty dang tightly for several months or his flailing arms and legs would wake him so quickly! And every morning, without fail, he hit this point where he got restless (and still does at 2 yo) and slept fitfully for about an hour. He was also a very hungry child (fast metabolism I assume!) who needed to eat several times a night until about 1 yo.

Obviously we can't swaddle him now! The only thing that seems to work is bringing him in our bed around 5-6 AM and then he'll generally sleep well until 7 AM. Otherwise he'll wake early and be a grouch. Until about 22 months, he also needed to eat around that 5-6 AM mark. Even if he had a wonderfully healthy and big dinner, he simply could not last until breakfast. So he either got nursed or a bottle when my milk dried up due to pregnancy.

So now, at 25 months, as I said, he STILL does this. We just have coping mechanisms in place :) He comes walking to our bedroom about one to two hours before normal waking time, we snuggle, he falls back asleep, and I scoot him over so I can sleep better.

FWIW- I have RLS that can flare up pretty badly and DH (and several in his maternal family) has violent waking dreams when stressed. I think DS inherited DH's "challenges" sleeping. :(

[jen]

Mine did something similar. And at a similar time of the morning. He would start just fussing and fidgeting, though he was actually still asleep. The only thing that worked was I let him sleep on me, on his stomach. Bad mom, I know but I was desperate for more sleep. I think it was some sort of stomach gassy thing and being on his stomach would relieve the pressure and allow him to sleep more, often times until 9 a.m. I seem to recall he stopped doing this sometime between 3 - 6 mos of age, most likely because he would flip himself to his stomach when he needed it.

[eep]

Since it is so late in the night (early in the morning) and so consistent, I would lean towards some weird sleep cycle thing. In which case I would get a magic blanket and swaddle his tightly after each feeding. Or let him sleep on his belly. I did both with each kid with varying degrees of success.

[Suzanne]

I know my kid had periods of frequent movement during sleep at the times when she was learning a new skill — which resulted in a lot of night waking. Three months seems early, but if he's learning how to make use of his limbs, he may be "practicing" in his sleep. In which case, it will pass, as most things do. (And then maybe reappear the next time his baby brain is mastering a physical feat.) For my daughter, this type of thing happened when she was learning to roll over, and then again when she was learning to crawl...and then again when she was learning to walk.

[Kathleen]

I had a startler and my husband used to use two receiving blankets and really swaddle him tightly. Then he would sleep well. You'd think it would be uncomfortable but he seemed to be much more comfortable like that. This is a kid that would startle awake in any position, look for me, and if he did not see me, cry.

Definitely give better swaddling a shot!

[Sandra]

My almost 4-month-old does this too, paddling her arms and legs in her sleep until she turns around 90 degrees or more (on her back) in her crib. She's made herself completely bald on the back of head too, given how much she writhes around. She breaks out of every swaddle we try to put her in and hates the miracle blanket. We had a little more luck swaddling her with her arms out. But we're also lucky (I think) in that she's figured out how to suck her thumb and resettle herself.

I'll second the comment about developmental leaps too. My daughter is just starting to figure out how to reach for and grab things, and her sleep has gone all wonky in the meantime. I used to be able to nurse her back to sleep until 8-9, but now she wants to be up by 6.

I'm thinking this is another of the endless "this too shall pass" (extended) moments of babyhood.

[Gretchen]

My daughter does this! Once we passed swaddling age (when she started to break out), it took awhile but we eventually found the Baby Merlin Magic Sleep Suit. Stupid name but combined with the gas drops before bed, has resulted in STTN. The sleep suit basically looks like a fleece snow suit and weighs down my daughters limbs enough so that she doesn't startle herself awake.

[Peranting]

My son wiggled so much that he couldn't sleep in the basinet because his wiggling would get it moving and that would wake him. He did fine in the crib since it was sturdy enough he couldn't jiggle it. He wiggled pretty consistently, rather than only at certain times of the night, so your mileage may vary. But for us swaddling was the key.

We used one of the Halp Sleepsack Swaddlers with the big velcro flaps. You could really swaddle him up tight and he couldn't wiggle out. For some reason he would always try to get his right arm out, but that thing usually kept him still enough that he slept really well.

Good luck.

[hedra]

Mr B would startle on his back, but we've had a SIDS death in the family so we didn't go for tummy sleeping UNLESS he was sleeping physially on me (belly to belly with me, skin to skin). Because of the other physiological interactions when they're skin-to-skin, I was not as concerned with that - but I also couldn't do it on a nightly basis!

BUT, the helpful nurses at the hospital when he had surgery at 6 weeks showed me how to make a 'sleep chair' for him out of firmly folded blankets while he was sleeping on his back. Basically, they said, if he stretched his legs out far enough to make his belly muscles stretch, he'd trigger the reflex, start flailing aned wake himself up (interesting to note that it is the BELLY muscles that trigger it, though what you see is arms/legs - so making sure there's enough tummy pressure in your swaddle may help). Post-op, that flailing was a Bad Thing, so they put him in the same position astronauts are in on takeoff - lying flat on his back, folded some blankies in tight flat rectangles aand stacked them under his knees (still on his back), until his legs were bent like in a recliner, and the same for his arms (blankies on each side). So like he was in an airplane seat tilted all the way back, or a rocker recliner tilted all the way back. It keeps them from setting off the reflex without using weights or wrapping to acheive the same thing. (in case you can't manage it or the others don't work.)

And that child also did/does sleep walk, but at almost 12 years old it's rare and he doesn't much wake himself anymore. :)

[Cristin]

Yes, definitely sounds like the Moro reflex to me. I had a lot of success with the Summer Infant swaddlers. My kiddo loved them so much that I used them until she was, no joke, 10 months old. And then we had to wean her from them, and that sucked. But it was well worth the better sleep we got beforehand.

I've also heard great things about the Woombie (not sure of the spelling) and the Miracle Blanket.

[Kimberly]

I agree with Cristin - sounds like Moro to me, too. Big fan of the Woombie with my giant newborn, and even Grandpa can figure it out - tuck the arms/legs in and zip up. No fancy folding. The "regular" strength was enough for my son; I found the organic cotton stretched out more than the regular cotton.

[Jen Daily]

I don't have anything to add except this new device for relieving gas from the makers of the snot sucker. I wish this thing would've been around when my eldest was an infant. My girlfriend just used it with her new baby and said it worked like a charm for the gas, though in the long run they still just had to wait out the colic.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Windi-Colic-Reliever-Babies/dp/B00687Q25Q

[laura]

There's a special swaddle thing that's like a giant sock, so you don't have to worry about blanket folding (or unfolding). Oh! I think that's the Woombie thing Kimberly mentioned.

They also make sleep wedges for reflux.

Tummy sleeping on a Lamby sheepskin allows air to pass to the mouth and nose even if the baby is face down into it.

You could also see if eliminating gassy foods (I'd start with milk!) from his/your diet help.

[Megan]

Google something called the double swaddle, it was the only swaddle that my girl couldn't break out of. When she was that age, she went into her sleepers, and then was doubled swaddled, and then that whole package went into a sleep sack. She might have luck putting him down earlier swaddled so he doesn't have the chance to start the dance.

[Nicky]

I sympathize, I recall my now 5-year-old slept fitfully like that. He spent a lot of time sleeping in his swing, which helped him pass the difficult motor milestones. I liked having him in his swing, since it was NOT tummy sleeping and the rocking settled him when he startled.

[Alice]

My guy did something similar and would move himself around in the crib until his head was hitting the side. He didn't seem to be awake, but he was fitful. I would put him in this little reclining chair we got (The Maclaren 2-in-1 Baby Rocker and Chair) and it worked as a sort of structured swaddle - he was sort of hugged all around and it seemed to soothe him. He still naps in this at 4.5 months. But it has gotten better, and I do think gas was probably part of it. Often we would wake a few hours later to sounds of his farts.

[MeinTX]

Oh, yes. Our little man had a Moro reflex that seemed to last a long time. Tried swaddling him, but couldn't find one that would keep him contained and found him twice with the whole contraption around his neck, around 5 weeks, which was scary and so we stopped. Somewhere around the 3 month mark, I was playing and pulling him into a sitting position and that was it - he HAD to sit up whenever possible. I think it was about that time he started this weird thing at night...his legs would come up, pause, then ''WHUMP!'' hit the mattress. Over and over and over. Sometimes multiple episodes.. Sometimes it would wake him up, sometimes it wouldn't. Since his crib is in our room, it was quite disturbing - and this from a little guy who has never willingly napped nor slept through the night, whatever that means! We finally decided that he was trying to figure out how to roll over, and it went away eventually when he came closer to mastering that skill. He's 8 months old now, and I think his level of intensity means that we're likely to have sleep disturbances like that with most every developmental phase...like yours, if we let him cry, it WILL get worse, so it's just a time we make sure to share nighttime duties and try to maximize our sleep.

[hedra]

@Alice, all my kids liked to sleep with their heads pressed to something hard. Maybe it reminded them of sleeping in the womb, head on my pelvic bones, LOL! With the twins, they'd move around until they were head to head and then push with their legs until they were jammed together, and THEN sleep. Go figure.

[paola]

My now 7.75 yo used to do a similar thing at nap time from the age of 6 months r so. He would start rocking himself with his legs in his cot after40 minutes or so and would eventually wake himself up competely. I started putting him down for his nap in his infant carseat so when he started to rock himself at the 40 minute mark, he'd actually rock himself completely back to sleep. This way he would get a 3 hour nap rather than a 40 minute one. Don't know how feasible this would be in the middle of the night though. He gave up the leg rocking after his first birthday though, so it was probably developmental.

[Wilhelmina]

My daughter, now nearly five, has always done this at developmental phases. And they can last weeks or months.

There are fewer now than in the baby years, but starting a new school term, learning a new sport, doing the school ( small, class) show, whatever hill to be climbed and it's the unquiet mind in the fitful body. For weeks.

I nursed her back to sleep until she packed that in at 16 months and then spent a lot of time awake moving onto rubbing the legs and talking soothing words and now she has these fitful lord of the dance sleep phases, half wakes up, I do the soothing words, she goes back to sleep, I lay awake until ten minutes before the alarm goes and then am fast asleep.

She is now in own bed in shared room with parents. She'd physically kick me out of bed before own bed in these sleep phases.

Should point out that most children with " growing pains" as the health visitor called it here settle down sooner.

There is something in the growing pains I think. They happen at every growth phase too. Bones grow first, and muscle and soft tissue catches up and that can give growing pains according to my physiotherapist.

For what it's worth she's a budding gymnast with a great sense of rhythm.

[rebecca]

Oh yeah....the Moro reflex. Had our fun with this. He WILL outgrow it. I second the Halo sleep sack (helpful for legs, not so much arms). My son turned into a tummy sleeper at about 6 months and this seemed to help. Also second the post about how when a baby is learning new motor skills they tend to physically practice them in their sleep. Only advice I have is patience, knowing that this will pass.... eventually.

[Bird]

I vote it's a sleep cycle thing - IIRC from my many hours of reading baby sleep books (I took the latter half of Moxie's advice and read them all) the period just before dawn is the lightest sleeping period. I know my 11 week old is the most restless at this time too, though not as much as your baby.

Try the miracle blanket or the double swaddle and it might help.

[Spacemom]

It sounds like a sleep cycle thing. Even now, my 8 year old gets up regularly at 2am.

I would strongly suggest the double swaddle.

[meggiemoo]

My kids wouldn't sleep on their backs for more than 20 minutes at a time (even swaddled, or in a swing, or hammock, or co-sleeper, etc), so I weighed the risks of SIDS in our situation (very low...they were in the same room with me, breastfed, I'm not a smoker, drinker, etc.) and went ahead and let them be the belly sleepers they were.

I do think lying flat on your back on a very firm mattress (Have you ever tried laying on a crib mattress? They are super uncomfortable!) makes lots of pressure points for babies that are not conducive to sleep.

I like Hedra's suggestion about elevating the arms and legs a bit (think about when they prop up your knees when you get a massage to ease your back). There's something out there called the Nap Nanny--it came out after my time so I've never used it, but it looks interesting!

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[Sahar]

The one thing that I would add is a remedy for the gas. My daughter had terrible gas when she was an infant, and I tried everything, and nothing worked very well. What ended up helping quite a bit was a probiotic drop called Bio Gaia. You need to store it in the fridge so the probiotics don't die, and you give the baby 5 drops of this (it's got a sunflower oil base). You do this everyday, so that the good bacteria builds in his gut and helps to digest milk better. Like I said, that's the only thing that helped.

In terms of the swaddling, I would second getting a product with velcro, because my daughter would break out of a regular swaddle in a matter of minutes.

[Chepkirui]

I do remember early morning dances with our daughter; I think more around 4 months, but certainly early on. I too had had no luck swaddling with a blanket, and eventually bought a swaddler-thing that had velcro; it helped enormously! We've also had great luck working with a homeopathic practitioner for this kind of thing; if alternative medicine is your think. Good luck!!

[Jess]

Swaddle swaddle swaddle! There is NO way either of my kids would have slept for more than 30 minutes in a row without swaddling. They waved their arms around, would startle, and awaken without fail. This was an ongoing issue with each until 5 months or so. Sleeping on their stomachs (or held) also solved the issue, but I didn't feel comfortable with this given SIDS risks, etc.

If he is breaking out of the swaddle, you just need to try harder! This is solve-able. With my son, we initially used a miracle blanket with totally non-approveded binder clips (like 2-3) pinched on the front to tighten it up. With my daughter, we swaddled with a receiving blanket and then swaddled around that with a velcro swaddler (like swaddleme or the summer onees).

Without these extra measures, both of them were able to wiggle one arm out of the swaddle and then break free and wake up.

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Swaddle swaddle swaddle! There is NO way either of my kids would have slept for more than 30 minutes in a row without swaddling. They waved their arms around, would startle, and awaken without fail. This was an ongoing issue with each until 5 months or so. Sleeping on their stomachs (or held) also solved the issue, but I didn't feel comfortable with this given SIDS risks, etc.

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