The first few weeks: Wild animal or alien cyborg?

A friend of mine, who has a 2-week-old, thanked me for being honest about how much the first few weeks can suck. Crying, your not knowing what the baby wants, cluster-feeding, pulling off if the flow is too fast or too slow, etc. He said most people "candy-coat" the first few weeks/months, and he thinks it's because people don't want to admit that their child was like a wild animal.

I would much rather say to someone that I hated the early weeks because you have zero control and the baby is a constant vacuum of need, but gives you virtually no positive feedback. Seriously, when the fact that the kid poops and pees regularly is the best feedback you're getting, it's not the most blissful phase. But I'd rather be honest about that and then talk about how it does get better. Because it does. But also so your friend doesn't abandon all hope.

I never thought of either of my newborns as wild animals, but that's probably because I was thinking of them more as alien cyborgs with neverending appetites. Although I guess that's similar to a mongoose baby.

What do you think? a) Was your child like a wild animal? and b) Why do people candy-coat the early weeks/months? (I remember thinking I was going to punch the next person who told me to "enjoy this phase" because the baby was so snuggly and sleepy.) c) Do you tend to be more of a candy-coater or a yes-this-sucks-er?

Comments

[Anonymous]

A. My first definitely felt like a wild thing with no regular sleep pattern, and lots of demanding to eat. My second got into a routine a lot faster, which made the newborn stage infinitely better.

B. I think people candy-coat because either they have forgotten (older people)or they don't want to sound incompetent (people currently living with kids.) If you admit how hard that phase is, especially while you're in it, you get lots of unhelpful, put-downy advice.

C. I am a yes-this-sucks-er, which is how I know all about the condescending responses honesty brings out in otherwise decent people.

[hedra]

a) neither, but probably closer to alien... they were in their own classification, I think!

b) so many reasons. insecurity seems likely, but there's also just the cultural, embedded message that childcare of infants is somehow special and elevating (and therefore we don't have to do other things to elevate womens' lives because they're already super special for getting to care for babies!!) - kind of a worldview dump, really. It isn't special though because women are tough and capable of doing a thankless job (that would mean valuing women differently), it is special because BABIES are special. Isn't that special?

c) seriously on the this sucks and there will be a few moments you want to keep but then it sucks again. I just had this conversation yesterday with a coworker, about how maternity leave should start at 6 months, when things finally start to get fun and interesting and the relationship can develop and all that. Not a big fan of infancy. I like them better as they continue to grow up, it gets more interesting all the time. Challenging still, but interesting!

[Stephanie]

I currently have a 12 week old. He's my third. I think the whole newborn phase was way worse with the first. This time around, I knew what to expect. Yeah, I felt bloated, sore, tired of wearing pads, and, of yeah, exhausted, but I also loved how tiny he was. I just reviewed the pictures I had taken when he was five days old and I sort of miss that tiny little baby. I prefer now because he smiles and I sleep and do on, but that phase wasn't just awful.

[Jenny F. Scientist, PhD]

We refer to it as the "blind naked mole rat" phase.

[mom2boy]

a. Mine is four and a half and I have no idea what the first two weeks were like anymore. I remember the first three days and then after that blackness until about four months.

b. Some people really do have sweet, snuggly babies. My niece is one. There's really nothing to sugar coat.

c. My experience sucked so bad I almost just stay quiet. I won't lie if someone asks but my kid has to be an outlier - our species wouldn't have survived this long if all kids were so g-d awful as infants.

[Erin]

Wild animal! But I have to admit two things about myself - I love newborns, and the newborn phase, with all its anxieties and horrors, and my favorite thing about newborns is how much like animals they are, and how much they remind me that we are, in fact, members of animalia. The worst bit of the newborn stage are the hormonal fluctuations combined with complete lack of sleep. But otherwise, I love the vacuum of need stage - it doesn't last long, and I had a TON of support and company with #2, which made a huge difference. But even with #1 once the bf issues were stabilized, I loved being alone holding him all day, being able to focus just on him. It was exhausting and NOT some romantic-ideal picture. But I think most people sell the hearts and flowers version of this phase for the same reason they do all of motherhood - willful ignorance mixed with denial! And I do think it's important to be honest with people about how difficult it can be, especially with a first child.

The biggest (unpleasant) surprise for me with #1 was how much being postpartum sucked. I was in a LOT of pain, way more than I imagined.

[Leah]

My first had what we called a shark attack latch-on. So I guess animal. But even then, and definitely with the 2nd and 3rd, I loved the newborn phase. I don't candy coat at all when it comes to things I don't like (pregnancy, one-year-olds, children who never sleep until they're 4 or 5), but newborns are one of my favorite phases. Perhaps there's just a problem with the people who like conflicting phase should be prevented from talking to each other at vulnerable times. ;-)

[Slim]

I think people who talk about what a great time the first weeks are are forgetting about the postpartum period as a whole and thinking only about the baby.

I love newborns, but yes, pretty much wild animals. Just nice snuggly wild animals. And even I could do without the exhortations to enjoy the time. Let's talk about how the baby got out, shall we? No? Then hush up.

[kimc]

With Baby girl the first, I would have said Animal. I still sometimes refer to her as a beastie, but then, just as soon as I stopped being in pain, breastfeeding started to work out- the colic hit. And I wanted a fork for stabbing into my own ears. I was totally in shock at how fiercely I loved her and how, even when she was screaming, I didn't want her out of my sight. The second one was so. much. better. She was a different child, less fussy, not a marathon eater (seriously, first one ate for two hours, every two hours. Little ate for 15 minutes, pulled off and went to sleep) And I just generally knew that "this too shall pass" I healed more quickly and got rest and everything was so, so much easier. I knew what I was in for and had a trial by fire the first time so... What I love about the newborn stage : All that soft skin, those legs all curled up like a baby bird in an egg. Fuzzy monkey ears. When they sleep, it is for a good chunk. The relief on their face when mama gets the latch right and they get their nurses. What I don't like- Taking care of a newborn while dealing with the previous insult to my nethers, learning to breastfeed while said nethers still hurt, lack of sleep, colic, colic, colic. How terrifying it is to get them dressed when they are so small.

[Tami]

A matter of perspective, perhaps? My first was born 14 weeks prematurely and lived in the NICU for four months. So when his brother was born full-term, weighing 7.10 lb, and my teen sister lived with us all summer to help, and the babe was a breastfeeding champ and we were up and out of the house within a week of the c-section, I was blissfully happy and amazed. But I promise I never bragged, until now.

[Cathy]

a) Was your child like a wild animal?
If she was, then a pinkie or the blind, naked mole rat.

b) Why do people candy-coat the early weeks/months?
I think it is because they do not remember it clearly (like childbirth, the memories jaggedyness of the first few weeks fade with the hormones.) Also, because they might miss the snuggly baby noggins and would be willing to trade in the present challenges for ones that they now know how to work through.

c) Do you tend to be more of a candy-coater or a yes-this-sucks-er?
I like to think I have a balanced view - there are good parts (snuggly baby noggins) but also hard parts (stuck burps and sleep deprivation) I tend to think that once you have a baby that doesn't need to be burped, things get a lot easier.

[Vacationland Mom]

a) We called him a monkey. A lot. He seemed just like one! @kimc yes so much regarding the getting him dressed! I just wrapped him in blankets a lot the first 2 months because he was so small and I was scared to put clothes on him :)
b) I agree with anonymous, that most people tend to forget over time what it was really like to have a newborn, or even to have an infant/toddler. Just like childbirth. I can't even tell you how many of my 40+ coworkers told me that they LOVED giving birth, it was so wonderful, "I didn't have any pain, didn't even know I was in labor!" etc. and I totally got the whole "enjoy this phase" thing on a pretty much daily basis once I returned to the office 3 months postpartum.
c) Never been a candy-coater. If anything I'm too pessimistic and negative. But when my friend was pregnant I did the thing where I didn't tell her stuff, I didn't want to scare her or stress her out. I didn't lie to her or anything but I didn't go into crazy detail about how AWFUL much of the newborn phase was for me. I was so sleep deprived that I was crying one night while eating a sandwich in bed in the dark, like hysterically crying, my husband was worried about me so he took the baby downstairs, and told me that I needed to rest, no bones about it. I didn't really sleep because I was like super anxious and wound (sleep deprivation will do that to you) but it was important for me to have that alone time since I'd had ZERO of it for 3 weeks straight. UGH.

On a more positive note, though, once you really come out of it, and start feeling like yourself again, you can look back and be SUPER PROUD of yourself for making it through, and you can look at your kid(s) and be like "I did that, I'm awesome. I am WOMAN, hear me ROAR!!!"

[My Kids Mom]

The first few weeks/months... that's what repression is all about. Paint those days with a rosy brush and move on. I remember only enough to know that I would never go there again.

[Tine]

Oh, I'm totally a yes-this-sucks-er. I really appreciated the fair warning I got from friends before I had child #1 ("It's the hardest/best thing you'll ever do.") and before child #2 ("Double your pleasure, triple your pain.")

I tell it like it is -- the good and the bad. Sugarcoating parenthood does no one any favors.

[Jesabes]

The first two weeks were definitely hell the first time around, because I was exhausted, had no idea what I was doing, and was constantly second guessing. The second time though, I LOVED it. What more can you want than a baby that spends almost all their time sleeping and stops crying when you give them a boob? Way better than a whiny older kid. (I've always loved babies, though, and get a massive oxytocin high that makes up for sleep deprivation.)

[pennifer]

"I would much rather say to someone that I hated the early weeks because you have zero control and the baby is a constant vacuum of need, but gives you virtually no positive feedback."

It took me a long time to parse this sentence because I kept reading it as "someone that I hated" and I'd think, "Gee, that doesn't seem like something M would say here...

Anyway... I read Moxie before G's birth, so I was expecting a bit of a rough ride. I didn't hate it and can't remember it well now. We had superflow for breastfeeding that took some getting used to. I hit the sleep deprivation wall at 4 mos (timed neatly with the first big regression). I just suffered quietly but mostly happily until then, when I Could. Not. Take. It. Any. More.

[JG]

I like Cathy's comment - people wishing to trade their new challengers for ones they know how to work through. That's a very kind and loving way to look at it! Thank you, Cathy, for giving me a new perspective on something that has always driven me crazy! I feel like going berserk when people say "just wait 'til they're (x)" - and your comment helps me see it a new way! So thank you!

[Raia]

I haven't read the comments yet, but I actually really loved the first few weeks with both my boys. I try to be honest about how hard and challenging it is, but I did also honestly enjoy it immensely...so it's possible! You have to strike that balance between not making it seem better or easier than it is, but also not to make it seem like it will be nonstop suckiness, either, because it might not.

[Kore]

Early babyhood has been easier with #2 (5.5 months now). Of course, it helps that #1 was a fussy, higher-needs baby while #2 is a lot more laid back and pleasant. What sucked about the newborn period for #2 was having to simultaneously deal with the 3 year old!

With #1, the newborn period sucked and, honestly, it continued to suck to varying degrees right through the first 2 years. Now that he's 3 - even though 3 is by no means easy - I am really starting to enjoy him.

I don't go out of my way to tell people how much it sucked, but I'm 100% honest if asked. One reason I don't go around advertising the suck is that some babies really are easier than others. I don't want to tell a pregnant friend a bunch of horror stories, because there's a chance that she'll have a calm, colic-free, angel baby. You never know.

[Betsy]

I remember thinking that he was diabolical and doing it to me on purpose. I also remember thinking that I wouldn't survive week number 5, but that it got dramatically better a couple weeks after that. So that's what I always tell people; just hang in there for the first couple of months and then it will get so much better.

[Kathy B]

I must be a candy-coater because I seriously don't remember the bad stuff!

[Kim]

The first few weeks are some of my favorites memories of my boys. One was terrible hard for the first two years and one was the easy, dream baby. I loved those first few weeks with both.

[AngstyJen]

I'm a tell-it-like-it-is person in all aspects of my life, including parenting. That said, I try not to scare expecting parents because they get enough of that from other people and need to hear that newborns are cute and snuggly too, not just sleep-stealing banshees.

[Charisse]

A little leech or maybe a slug - a darling, beloved little slug, but still - who wants to live with someone who's incredibly demanding yet doesn't DO anything? Worst kind of housemate imaginable.

I had a decent time in the early weeks as these things go, and I was besotted with little Mouse, but I was bored out of my skull and lonely. Exhaustion doesn't get me, but boredom. Bad scene. (Hm, who else do I know who's like that? MOUSE, I'm lookin at you.)

b. I don't really candy-coat, but I tend to be more neutral than I was here because I know (ref. lots of entries in the thread) that many people feel differently than I do about the phase. maybe the person I'm talking to will love it, or be offended that I don't. Seriously, I am with you on how a 7-month-old is the cutest thing on the face of the earth, but a newborn is at best a quiet bundle and at worst a shrieking-for-hours bundle. Whatever.

c. so it depends. If I feel like I'm in a safe spot and won't either be smacked by "oh you should love that phase, it passes so quickly"...to which I respond with a snarky "well thank goodness"...or won't set someone up with nasty worries before their baby is born...then I'm honest about how much I hated it.

[Enu]

I prefer to hear it like it is, but a lot of people get really angry when you do that - that you're not supposed to frighten pregnant women about labor/newborns. But you know, I am so glad I knew going into it just how bad it could be - and that people came out sane, whole, happy and loving on the other side.

OTOH, I was reminded recently (thanks KS!) about how wonderful newborns are - and they are. It's the 24/7 part of them, when you are actually a human being who biologically kinda needs sleep sometimes, that makes it so awfully hard.

[Enu]

Also, there's the credibility thing. If I am honest about what a train wreck the newborn period (and toddler period) was for me, perhaps people will believe me when I say the teen years (for me) were a breeze and that your life is not necessarily doomed the minute your oldest turns 13. But if I sugar coat it and then someone has a baby like I had... they will probably think I lied through my teeth about the joys (yes, joys) of raising teen girls.

[Kris]

1 word: Oxytocin

I was genuinely happy, but I think it was because I was effectively high. Plus my son wasn't colicky. Plus my mother and husband were there the whole time.

Weeks 3-6 were actually much worse for me. I expected the first two weeks to be absolute craziness with no schedule and no sleep. When it didn't really get better and real life started to rear its head back and my husband went back to work and my mother left, shit got real fast.

[meggiemoo]

I had a really blissful first birth (quick, easy, lots of lovely endorphins) followed by a really horrid maternity leave. Baby who didn't sleep more than 20 minutes at a time, freezing cold weather, PPD for me AND DH. Oh, yeah, it was awful. I remember asking friends who already had kids, "WHY did you tell me this would be a good idea???"

2nd birth was also good and 2nd maternity leave was much better. Spring baby who slept a bit and didn't cry incessantly. It's still not my favorite phase by any means.

I stay mum about possible challenges for those about to have a baby, BUT I do tell them to please call me when they need support. I don't want to pass negativity when some people do genuinely have a lovely baby phase.

I just prefer 12 months+. Give me a 3-year-old and I'm in heaven. Seriously.

[Anon this time]

For me, the first 10 days with both were relatively ok. Then they turned in to what we called "alien muppet babies" with mixed up days and nights and blank semi-cyborg stares as their brains started sorting themselves out. And happily, I had my kids so late, I had lots of friends who said Sleep-while-the-baby-sleeps-NO-REALLY-DO-IT and a husband who took paternity leave the first time around. The second was rougher (no paternity leave from a new job, and the toddler who wasn't down with the 24 hour program) but at least I was prepared.

[rebecca]

The hours from 4 to midnight every day were "The Witching Hour" with baby #2. She screamed no matter what we did. I felt like a monkey in a zoo cage with thie screaming baby. My older son would stay out of the room because he was scared by her cries so I felt like a double failure as a parent. I remember asking my husband, no BRIBING him to go to the Starbucks and get me coffee and a bran muffin b/c I was seriously constipated and it hurt to poop (the joys of the fresh after childbirth body). Baby girl was diagnosed with the familiar milk protein intolerance pretty quickly and the witching hours cleared up at about 6 weeks when we put the pieces together. I kind of blame those weeks for a delayed bonding with her. Just felt like ducking my head down and weatheirng the storm. If she had been my first child, i think I would have lost my mind but I *knew* it would get better. This mom should know it will too.

[ARC]

I had a relatively easy baby so while it was sort of boring, it wasn't that bad. I felt like it was just a constant repetition of nurse, diaper change, sleep. The sleep deprivation was the worst part for me.

But there are certain people I wouldn't say anything negative to, because it would just unleash a flood of unwanted advice. So it's easier to just say things are fine and move on. I hate unsolicited advice.

[Beth]

I have a 10 month old and we still occ. refer to her as "the wildlife," as in "Don't engage the wildlife!" (i.e., don't make eye contact as she's trying to drift off to sleep playing with her stuffed animal b/c that will just rile her up.)

That being said, I tend to be more of a candy-coater. It's not that I'm intentionally trying to mislead someone, it's just that those are the things that I remember about early stages - the cozy cuddling, the watching her with amazement - not the OMG why is she still crying?! stuff.

And yet, even as I recognize that tendency in myself, I get frustrated and impatient with the parents who candy-coat & tell me their baby sleeps through the night. Baloney! (Either they're lying or they turn off the baby monitor & have no clue what baby's up to at 4 a.m....) So even though I can't seem to regulate my own candy-coating, when I am on the receiving end of candy-coating, I try my best to just dismiss it as parent PR.

[Enu]

Beth, my second born really did sleep through the night, almost from the start and pretty much without fail. It does happen. Note, my firstborn did nothing of the sort..... bwaaahaaahaa

[Hotzenplotz]

I did not think early infancy was a big deal. Cosleeping has meant I do not worry about "sleeping through the night." Learning to breastfeed was hard work--6 weeks of learning with the first kid, 3 weeks with the second. I did have 6-month maternity leaves and a self-employed partner who provided household work.

Much harder: having a child who needs little sleep and likes to be intellectually engaged until after 10pm each night. Also harder: negotiations with hard-headed 3-, 4-, 5-year old child. Likewise: helping 3-yo child handle the onslaught of consumer pressure, often made worse by peer pressure.

[Lisa F.]

A. I'm not sure, it just sucked for many reasons.
B. Either they've forgotten, or they had loads of help & it wasn't hard, or they had easy children. I had a few people who were honest about how hard it is, but not enough, and a lot of people around me had family helping them and we were scared, exhausted & flying solo.
C. I feel like I'm the prophet of doom in my honesty about how hard the newborn phase was for me, but one friend did thank me although she admitted she didn't believe me before her kid arrived.

[oliviacw]

My daughter was born small (4 lbs 14 oz at 38 weeks), and couldn't latch on to my overly-generous breasts. So I was trying to pump 8 times a day. And my daughter only ate small amounts at a time and was on a 90 minute eat-sleep-wake cycle. I completely collapsed after the 3rd day at home and called my sister to come spend the night - she stayed up all night with the baby while my husband and I slept. After that, my husband and I spent about 3 weeks in a 6-hour shift mode (one of us was up with the baby for 6 hours while the other slept, then we traded off). (Thank heavens he is self-employed and had planned for a no-work quiet period after the birth). It felt like we spent forever in that mode, but by 4 weeks she was in a much more reasonable cycle. (Although I was still pumping every 4 hours).

[Stephanie]

I'm totally a yes this sucks-er. I feel like all the preparation I did DID NOT prepare me for those early weeks, mostly because it wasn't the baby that felt like a wild animal, but me.

I was not prepared to face nature so brutally.

[electriclady]

a) Wild animal for sure. Not in the clawing-you-to-pieces sense (though that was there too) but just in that I was so unprepared for the pure animality of a newborn--the rooting and lunging, the grunting and snuffling, the sheer physicality.

b) Agree with all the opinions above (people don't want to frighten newbies, some people genuinely do enjoy newborns, etc) but also i think there are still some people out there who don't realize they're the only ones who had such a tough time and are afraid to admit it. I can't tell you how many times, now that I'm pregnant with #2, I've said to another parent on the playground how I'm not looking forward to the newborn phase again because of how horrible it was, only to see them look startled at first, then relax in relief and admit that it was terrible for them too.

c) As you might guess from my answer to (b), I'm in the IT SUCKED SO BAD camp.

[K]

a) both were more like aliens. My first was more like an alien to me, partly because I was a newbie, partly because he and I had some recovery issues, and partly because he seemed to come too early, and not quite ready for the word. b) I think people candy-coat it because it's the beginning of *so* much good. c) I think I'm more of a realist, so I'm with the yes, this sucks crowd. I have to admit though, with my youngest, I can see why people get all starry-eyed about newborns. She was a much different newborn than my oldest and I was different. In terms of relative experience, having a newborn the second time around was all rainbows and puppies and chocolate.

I think it's important to tell the story of your child's newborn days in the right context. To those in the midst of it, being sympathetic is more important than how I currently feel about it.

[AS]

I really hope new parents find this post - I think it would be comforting for them.

My experience: a) Wild animal? Not quite, just a colicky infant. She needed to be held and soothed almost around the clock, so basic life functions like eating, sleeping, and using the restroom were very difficult for us. There was nothing we could count on.
b)There is a school of thought that the candy coating of parenthood is an elaborate social dance to promote reproduction. Maybe there is some truth there. But, I think people candy coat because they might be in denial themselves, or don't want to scare you, or perhaps they had an ok time of it.
C)I am a yes-this-sucks-person.I never sugar coat about the experience we had, but I think it is too important to lie about. For some people, with some experiences, they get broken apart and then have to rebuild themselves. I have a lovely toddler who I am deeply grateful for, but there was nothing lovely about those first few months.

[Lumberjack]

My now two year old son was the KING of the jungle wild!!! Those first few weeks I changed, I transformed into a completely different wild animal myself.

I am honestly terrified of having another wild animal, and this is gonna happen in early August. Is it possible to have given birth to two wild animals??

All the folks who told me to enjoy myself made me feel like something was very, very wrong with my maternal instincts. My parents, of all stoical, "quit yer whining!", no sympathy people, were the only ones who told me that those days with my brother were hell and birth control at once. Then they had me and I was the "good" baby.

I won't tell anyone that the newborn days sucked. But, if a new mom gives me that glint in her eyes of "what have I done?" I will tell her, "this too will pass! So much that you'll delude yourself into having another!"

Also, I truly truly believe Jack's wild animalness has turned into the kind of spirited, bright, and loving creature he is today!

[Maria]

I was lucky, my baby was neither a wild animal nor an alien cyborg -- until she turned 3, at which point hydra-headed angry beast would be a good description. The first few days learning how to breast feed were hard, but it is hard to remember those moments now, because they really didn't last very long. For whatever reason, my baby's style and mine clicked for infancy. Later, not so much.

I think people sugar coat out of insecurity -- they hear from people like me who had a relatively easy time in infancy and don't want to be found inadequate. And maybe they're trying to be encouraging, in that totally discouraging, non-helpful way that humans often have.

I don't think I am a sugar-coater. I'm perfectly capable of talking long and loud about how awful three years old was and how stressful and frustrating things can still be at 8. But people might think I'm sugar coating the early weeks and months because they were genuinely lovely for me.

[wushie]

then there are those of us who really experienced it that way. Grade school is the hard part for me, and it lasts WAAAAY longer. I don't tell other people that they'll love the newborn time (because I know it is obnoxious to speak for someone else's experience), but for me, the first six weeks of my first daughter's life was by a huge margin, the very best 6 weeks of my life.

[Dregina]

My baby is 5 1/2 months old and still waking every 90 minute - 2 hours all night long, so the sleep thing has gotten harder for me than it was at first because of the accumulation of so many hard nights! And he's mobile already - rolling and dragging himself around like a wounded inchworm - so that's a new and wonderful - but tiring - challenge. We've had some disruptions with his childcare situation since I went back to work full time- and the first three months I was home, so at least I could nap when I needed to back then. All of that, combined with a feeling of failure around his sleep, has me missing those first few weeks right now. At least then the night wakings were to be expected? I did have very, very low expectations for the first six weeks, however, and instead had tons of luck with breastfeeding and an easy recovery from his birth. And! my husband was able to be home with me full time for the first month, so I wasn't isolated. I really did think he'd be sleeping better by now...it's hard when life doesn't match one's expectations!

[Ashleyk]

For me the early weeks were hard because I didn't realize how long recovery would take. I had read that pregnancy systems would go away, but no one told me they'd be replaced with all these horrible, new ones. The baby part was easy because I had a ton of help. Four months was hard because I expected too much from the baby. Friends with colicky babies made four months seem like heaven. Well, mine was t colicky so there wasn't a magical change to an easy baby. He's high need, but wasn't colicky. I'm honest about this, but emphasize variation because I didn't understand that when I was getting information.

[Sueinithaca]

the doctor once described my infant daughter as "mad as a wet cat." I'm gonna go with wild animal.

[DonnaD]

My first was a wild animal for the first 3.5 wks. I cried and cried and then we came to an agreement and things were better, but still wild for a bit. It got better and she became a great baby. Easy going and slept well.

My second was an angel from day one. Never an issue.

[Sabrina]

My son is almost 12 weeks old. The first 6-8 weeks were incredibly hard. There were moments of happy snuggly times, but he is plenty snuggly now and does much less screaming at me. In general the last month of pregnancy and the first two months of newborn time are hellish and exhausting.

[Alexicographer]

I'm not going to answer the actual questions you posed (I so often find myself wandering off on tangents in blog comments, so why stop now?), but I will say one of the things I found most helpful about the Happiest Baby on the Block wasn't its specific tips but the point it made about how, really, it would be better (except that neither mother nor infant would survive) were human gestation 12 months rather than 9. Figuring he mostly still needed to be inside me but that logistical issues had caused other arrangements helped me figure I could just get through 3 months and it would get better.

Which it did. And for the record, mine was a pretty easy baby and is a pretty easy kid. So that's not about how difficult mine was so much as it's about me. But honestly, it's just gotten better and better because now I have a small human being who can actually participate in some stuff. Though truthfully until he can at least contemplate, for example, the constitutional arguments pro and con the health care individual mandate, he's not really "there" for me yet. Newborn stage? Not so much. Though there are aspects of his being self-propelled (Now riding a bicycle! Fast!) that daunt me.

I've covered ages 0-5 with mine, and 13-32 with my stepkids. My quips about comprehending arguments about the Constitution notwithstanding, let's just say I'm not entirely looking forward to the teen years, either (hello: self propelled! Though at least we do now have graduated licensing. But also: texting. Ack!).

[Banana]

My little girl is now 12 months. I don't remember much of the first few months and in some ways I think I had it easy. She wasn't too much of a screamer (there were a couple witching hours each night) and my husband was home with me, so that made things easier. And I had been forewarned by a close friend that those early months can be super hard, so I was surprised by how great it could be at the same time.
BUT - the first month of failed breast-feeding and pumping around the clock trying to get more than literally a drop of milk... That sucked. Never got it working and once I finally just went with formula, everything was just better.
Also, I really didn't get that I'd be in pain for a couple of weeks after delivery. Maybe I was just completely uninformed, but I only expected a day or so of soreness. I was pretty miserable for a while.
I've tried not to sugar coat it since, but again - it is all a blur. And I have very fond memories from the same period - the snuggles were very nice. She has no time for snuggles anymore - she's gotta move!