Q&yourA: Keeping a baby asleep when you put them down

And now for a classic. I sure can't solve it, but I know we've all got tips, and maybe one of them will work for Andrew, who writes:

"How do you keep a child sleeping when you put them down out of your arms? My 4-month-old daughter has this propensity to sleep heavily when we hold her but wakes up as soon as she is put in the crib, cradle or pack and play. Please help."

Yes, and yes. I remember it well, both times. Out like a log, or at least a lumberjack, in my arms, and then two seconds after being put down, AWAKE. And not happy about being awake.

The only success I ever achieved was lying on the bed with the child next to me and nursing/snuggling to sleep, then waiting until the baby was completely out (10-15 minutes after falling asleep) and then rolling away slo-o-o-owly. Of course, this is a physical impossibility if you're trying to get the baby to sleep in a crib.

Anyone have any help for cribs?

The other path, oif you're not wedded to crib-only sleep, is to wheel the baby in the stroller until she falls asleep and then just leave her there for the nap. Or in a swing.

Just know that almost everyone struggles with this, and it will pass, and I don't think there's an actual magic bullet.

Suggestions? Memories? Laments?

Comments

[Breanna]

This was always a challenge for us too! The only thing that seemed to work was starting them off sleeping alone. If this isn't working for you then settle them down while swaddled tightly, place S-L-O-W-L-Y into the crib, press down firmly (not too tightly, but definitely leaving the feeling of being held) and then a heavy blanket on top. It only worked sometimes, but when it did it was great!

[Elle]

At this age our daughter would fall asleep in the sling, and eventually we would transfer the sling to her bouncy chair, hook the sling material over the chair (away from her face) and leave her in the bouncy chair to finish her nap. Many visual checks to make sure her face wasn't covered by the sling, etc. but it allowed us some hands- and sling-free time. Once she was slightly older, she started napping in the jogger and still does (at age 4). Luckily it allows me to go for a run, and she can be wheeled indoors to finish her nap. She has never mastered napping in a crib/bed...!

[Emily]

I think it depends on what it is that is waking them up. For my kids it seemed to be going from my warm body to the surprisingly chilly bed sheets. So we started using a special snuggly blanket that I kept between me and the baby. When I would move her to the bed I would keep the blanket between her and the bed. It seemed to help.

My youngest still sleeps with hers draped across her pillow. And goes to sleep on her own.

This too shall pass..........

[SarcastiCarrie]

Swaddling (to avoid that startling reflex).

Having someone warm up the spot you are going to put the baby (so the cold sheet doesn't startle them).

Laying the baby gently but keeping gentle firm pressure on the mattress around the baby and removing the pressure sloooooowly so there is no startling (ditto placing your hand on the baby and removing it slowly...like count to 20 in your head slowly).

Placing the baby on his/her side when placed in the crib (because chances are you were tummy to tummy), then very very slowly and gently letting the baby roll to his/her back (on the pre-heated bed surface while swaddled, everything happening slowly).

If you're so inclined, I think there might be a matron saint of sleeping babies you could pray to.

[Melissa]

Try figuring out a way to warm the crib before putting the baby down. That helped for my little girl. I would either heat up a rice bag and put it in the crib while I tried to get her to sleep. Before I put her down, I would take the rice bag out and a nice warm spot would be left in the crib. You could also do this with a heating pad, but we don't own one. Obviously, make sure you take your heating method out before you put the baby down.

Another thing that helped, but I only did this for naps was to make sure she's wrapped in a blanket and put the blanket down with her. This was easier when she was younger and we were swaddling. A warm, cozy sleep sack should also help.

There's also just a knack to figuring out how slowly to put the baby down. The actual process of putting her into the crib could easily have taken me 5-10 minutes. I would move just a bit, stand there, move more, stand there, until she was down. Then, I would usually keep a hand on her until I knew she was settled in the crib and wasn't going to wake up right away. Of course, then you have to get out without waking the baby. With creaky floor boards that can be an obstacle course!

Good luck and with trial and error, you'll figure out something! Eventually, when we thought she was ready, we just had to put her down awake even if that meant she cried for a bit. Now, at 13 months, she still goes down easily awake. That all worked for us, but took a while to figure out!

[Susan]

I tried to make sure I wasn't putting him down on a cold sheet. Not sure if it made any difference, but I used the Breathable Baby fitted sheets and blankets and liked that they never have that "cool" feeling that cotton sheets tend to have. But, no, there's no magic trick. I, too, remember that problem. And, it does pass!

[TS]

We used to put our girls laying on bed pillows in our laps with their pacifiers until they fell asleep. Then we'd carry them like waiters carry trays of food into the nursery, lay each pillow down in each crib, and then slowly and carefully slide the pillow out from under them. It usually worked. It's a tricky time.

[MSL]

What worked for me: with #1 I started putting him down awake around 4 months - I would lie next to him and do whatever it took until he fell asleep. With #2 I can't do that because she shares a room with #1 and would wake him up. So I swaddle her and put her down *the moment* she falls asleep and put a little pressure on her body until she's settled into sleep. When she wakes up during the process, I just pick her up and start over. I find that if she settles into sleep in my arms, she wakes when I put her down, but there is a brief magic period when she has just fallen asleep that she'll either stay asleep or settle back to sleep when I put her down. Flannel sheets help with the cold bed problem.

[ARC]

Once our babe was old enough (8-9 months maybe), we covered her with an IKEA crib comforter - she seemed to like the heavy blanket on her, which explained why she would sleep well in our bed but not in her crib. She still likes it for naps and bedtime (16 months).

[wealhtheow]

Oh my. This brings back unpleasant memories. This task was complicated for us by Sam's reflux--lying prone was not comfortable for him. We got him a sleep positioner (which, of course we did, because when I was pregnant I sniffed dismissively at them as a stupid way to suck money out of paranoid parents--sigh). The slight angle really helped him be more comfortable. If your daughter has relux, experiment with position her crib. Although you never want to put anything under the mattress to raise it, I've heard of people putting things under the crib legs to create an angle.

Mostly though, it just took time for this phase to pass. Which although it doesn't sound like helpful advice, it's proven to be the best thing I can tell myself when things are rough--this won't last, no matter what I do, it will resolve itself eventually. If my son never goes to sleep by himself again (he stopped being able to fall asleep alone once he got his big bed), at least when he's in college he'll have a roommate there for "cuddle-sleeps!"

[Heather]

In the very rare instances that he slept in a crib we had him in a blanket in our arms and the blanket went under him in the bed so some of the warmth carried with and the texture didn't change.

Good luck

[yasmara]

We used all of @SarcastiCarrie's methods & they usually worked with Older Son - it was always a nail-biter, though! Would he or wouldn't he stay asleep???

I think some kids are just more sensitive to that kind of disturbance. We also tried to wait until he was really, deeply asleep in our arms. Often there was an initial relaxation into a light doze & then a secondary relaxation into deeper sleep a few minutes later. If we were patient & waited for that 2nd relaxation, we were much more successful. If we rushed him, we were often stuck doing bedtime for the same amount of time as if we had waited, there was just more crying (on his part, occasionally on my part).

I learned to sort of zone out/zen out during the post-nursing rocking time & be patient while he fell asleep. My husband was always better at the bedtime "transfer" than me, probably because he is a lot taller (6-1 to my 5-5) - he could lean over & ease Older Son into the crib much more easily than I could (I eventually had to put a stool by the crib to stand on).

Older Son is almost 6 now & has been a fantastic sleeper for years, so it was definitely a phase he went through as an infant & didn't indicate anything about his sleeping patterns as an older kid.

[Kara]

Fleece blankie wrapped around the mattress for warmth, one of the thinner memory foam pillows under the sheet under the blanket, and leaning all the way into the crib when I lay her down. The slight incline seems to help with sinus drainage and drool now that she's teething.

My almost 8 month old only wakes up when I put her down if it's really cold or she has a stuffy nose, but when she was smaller, she'd also wake from gas if I couldn't get her to burp. Those dimethicone drops are the best thing ever for that!

[Charity]

I can't remember where I read this, but make sure that (in addition to all of the above about warming, moving slowly, etc.) you put them down in such a way that their feet touch the sleeping surface first, then back, then head very last. It helps keep them from doing the startle thing.

[Aimee]

I wore my daughter in a wrap for naps for probably the first 5 months. Then I slowly transitioned her to a swing, and then from there to my bed, where she naps now (she's 9 months old now). Swaddling for sure helps; she is still swaddled in a stretchy swaddle.

[MrsHaley]

We did a heating pad on the sheet before nursing to sleep, then laying the baby on the warm spot left by the heating pad. It worked really well.

[Charisse]

One thing that hasn't been mentioned is if you're using a waterproof mattress pad in the crib, they can be both cold and crinkly - fancier ones are nicer. We got one from Garnet Hill that you really can't tell from a regular mattress pad and that helped a lot. Pricey but worth it for making this process easier!

[Lisa]

Yes to all the above, especially the warmish bed and/or fleece/microfiber blanket underneath (tucked in around the mattress).

Yes even more to nursing/rocking to sleep on the bed, then transferring 15 min. after full sleep achieved. Problem here is that you, too, will fall asleep, especially if nursing - helps to ask partner/spouse to wake you if you don't emerge in 30 min., otherwise you wale at 1 AM in puddle of own drool, etc. Of course, at that point we just gave up and did cosleeping for a while.

And also - if you're shortish, and especially once the kid is big enough that you must lower the crib mattress, it helps to keep a stool next to the crib. That way you can climb up then lower the still-sleeping kid down into the crib, rather than doing an up-and-over, which is hell on your back and increases the odds of child waking. (Said stool will eventually migrate into the bathroom for kid toothbrushing and such, so get one that fits/looks OK in both places.)

[Monsoon]

If getting them to sleep involves rocking or bouncing, after placing them gently in the crib, put your hands under the crib mattress and gently jiggle it for a minute. Good luck!

[Jess L.]

The two things that work for us with our now 7-month-old are:

1. A floor bed (twin mattress sized), so I can lay down with him and nurse to sleep. I LOVE this.

2. We haven't been able to swaddle since he started flipping onto his stomach at three months. But, you can kinda imitate the feeling of it: If he does wake up when I move away, or if I'm putting him down from my arms and he awakes, I gently but firmly hold his arms in place in the position he usually has them in when he falls asleep. If I do this, he generally cries for literally 5-10 seconds and then quiets and goes to sleep. This also sometimes works when he awakes too early from a nap and I can tell he could use another sleep cycle. Obviously this won't work for everyone, but it's worth a try.

Oh, and here's a bonus hint I read somewhere that totally amazed me with how well it worked! When he falls asleep while nursing and is doing that light flutter not-really-eating sucking (with the long pauses between) and I'm trying to remove him, I wait 'til about one second after he's sucked. If I pull out at that moment he is MUCH less likely to wake up and root for the nipple again. If I do it in the middle of one of those long pauses, or when he's actively sucking, it doesn't work nearly so well.

Good luck!

[Kristen]

@wealhtheow - Ugh, we also had reflux issues that kept R from sleeping pretty much anywhere but in our arms until we got him some medication when he was a little over 2 months old. That made ALL the difference in the world! The day I could finally put him down in the cosleeper and have him stay asleep -- I can't describe the relief that went with it.

The other thing we HAD to do, also related to the reflux, was raise one end of both his cosleeper and his crib. The cosleeper included extra feet to make it into a pushable cart; I put them on one side only, which gave maybe a 2 inch incline. When we moved R to his crib, I know someone else said you don't want to put things under the mattress, but that's what we did: I took a beach towel and opened it and refolded it until it created a very slight, even incline. Then we put the mattress with sheet on top of it. I just couldn't bring myself to rely on trying to find two books the same thickness, that I would be willing to sacrifice, and that I wouldn't worry about the crib falling off of at some point. So, a towel it is, again raising one end of the mattress no more than 2"; hardly even obvious to the casual observer, but effective.

[Alexis]

This is a REALLY common problem. Baby sleeps GREAT until you actually want to put her down and do things. Like eat, use the bathroom, really anything other than sit and hold the baby.

I would start with a tight swaddle. Use LOUD white noise in the room where she sleeps (50 dB) - easy enough with an old radio or boom box. And frankly I would plunk her into a swing.

If she wakes up when you transition her there are two things you can do:
1) Start the soothing to sleep process IN the swing to start with.
2) OR if you're really wedded to holding or nursing her to sleep (which lets me honest, you'll need to part ways with in the next few months anyway) you can soothe her to sleep, put her in the swing. She wakes up and gets angry with you, then you soothe her BACK to sleep while IN the swing.

I'm working on a video on how to do this but it won't be up for 2-3 months so I'll describe as best I can:
- line the swing with a tshirt or item you have slept in that smells like you (this always helps - just make sure its not an entrapment hazard - cut up the tshirt if necessary)
- put baby in swing with loud white noise
- move swing back and forth manually while crouching behind swing. If not using loud white noise, try shooshing loudly in baby's ear
- If baby is still upset, keeping swinging swing but ALSO giggle head a little. This is NOT shaken baby syndrome - we're looking for the little cheeks to jiggle like jello. This is part of the soothing reflux (Happiest Baby people know what I'm talking about).
- Baby may complain for <5 minutes which is OK (this is NOT a CIO technique) as long as they fall asleep.
- Turn swing on, leave white noise on, and go eat a well deserved sandwich

Have had great success with this method. Once you've got things rocking and rolling you gradually transition out of swing and into crib without fuss (perhaps over the next 2 months or so).

Hope this helps!

[Raia]

I try to move him before he falls asleep because this is so common. If I don't manage it, then I have to try the moving slowly technique.

Reflux is keeping my babe in the bouncy seat or swing. I have been known to keep holding the baby while slooooowwwwwwlllllllyyyyyy going to the swing. Lower my body over the swing while still holding the baby the same way he was originally...so I'm still holding him but I get as close as I can to the swing so by the time I'm letting him go, he only has mere inches from my body to the swing. Then let the swing start gently while holding hand on his chest/tummy (hoping it will feel similar to him as when his chest/tummy was against mine a few moments ago). Then slowly decrease the pressure and baaaaaack awaaaaaaaay.

[My Kids Mom]

I needed these tips six years ago! I never did get the hang of making a baby sleep. Fortunately at age six all I have to do is give him a kiss and leave!

Best advice? This too shall pass.

[laura]

Gosh, always a problem.

My babies were pretty premature, so in the early days, they just slept all the time, and tranferring them was never an issue.

As they became more aware, I followed the Baby Whisperer's advice (and I followed it strictly!). Something along these lines:

- when you see the first yawn, get prepped to move
- at the second yawn, be on your way to the crib
- By the time the third yawn comes, the baby should be in it's crib

I stuck to this like glue, and it really worked for us. Yes, it was slightly awkward, when, in the middle of the conversation, I hopped up to rush towards the nursery at the first sight of a yawn, but four years later, I've got two kids who rarely cried themselves to sleep and few times I've been required to lay with them.

[Moxie]

I love how everyone did something so different and yet all of us with older kids are like "they sleep fine now." Really makes me wish we could get my Trained Monkey Assistant program up and running so we could just let the monkeys deal with the bad sleep stages...

[laura]

My guess is that it's the FOUR MONTHS OLD thing that is the problem, far more than any trick you could possibly master. I notice that whenever my babies are going through developmental leaps, they are much more "jumpy" and wake up at the slightest provocation.

That said, here's what sometimes works for me:

1. my babies sleep on sheepskin. It warms to the touch, so they don't get shocked by chilly sheets.

2. I swaddle for nursing and crib-delivery

3. When I put Dd2 in her crib (from the over the shoulder burping position), I lean waaaaaaay over and keep my body as close to her as possible. I keep my head next to hers for a few seconds as she settles, and then I lean back up quietly.

4. I've found that blowing gently on her face helps keep her eyes closed, which helps her stay asleep.

5. It gets better. Aaaaand, then it gets worse. Then better, then worse. And by the time they are 2 or 3, much of this is a distant memory and you think, "Hey! That wasn't so bad, let's make another one!" :D

[jackie]

We wonderful success with a lovey. Around 3 months or so, our boy got too big and strong to swaddle. We had to find something to provide the security that the swaddling had given him, and read somewhere that a lovey might be the trick. We had received one as a gift and started laying it across his chest at nap time - he really liked it touching his face. Eventually (within a couple of weeks) it made crib transfers at night and naps so much easier - he would go from feeling our presence to holding onto and sucking on his lovey.

We have three now, for fear of being without one, because at 7 months he LOVES his lovey like a binky. The one we have is here: http://www.makaboo.com/Angel-Dear-Lovie-P71C1.aspx. But I think any soft, velvety, breathable fabric would do.

[Rbelle]

Aargh. I have been having the same problem since my daughter, now four months, was just a few weeks old. Only in our case, it doesn't seem to be the transfer that's the problem. I can put her down and keep her asleep at least half the time. But I can't get her to STAY asleep. Her maximum is about 45 minutes, but I would say 95 percent of the time, she sleeps no more than 15. In the interest of getting her the naps I KNOW she needs, I've let her sleep in my arms for up to three hours before, but I'm starting a WAH job soon, and we can't keep this up. Solutions welcome ...

[BiteSizeTherapy]

Ooh, Andrew....how I (painfully) recall those days. Trying to lay a young infant down is like a scene from Mission: Impossible.

My recollection is that around 4 months, all of the tricks stopped working. They are getting bigger and more aware. Around 4-ish months, if you put my daughter "down" for a nap, she'd be up in 1-20 minutes. At night, probably 1-3 hours. Basically, the minute they hit a lighter stage of sleep, it's over.

Is there some way to soothe her while she is in her crib/bassinet, starting from awake? (Like shush-pat, singing?). I know it doesn't work for everyone, but worth a try?

[kristen]

We totally gave into it, and held or put her in a sling for sleeping (we coslept at night, so it wasn't a problem then). And like Moxie said, it didn't last forever - by around 6 months our daughter was sleeping soundly in bed. And now that she's 17 months I really really miss that lovely feeling of a baby sleeping on my chest.

[G's Mum]

This was a real issue for us too, but I did find a solution that worked for us! We used a hot water bottle to warm the spot on the crib where baby was going to be placed. I sometimes left it in the crib near (not on) her feet, too, as long as the water bottle was not hot and the room was cold.

For the detail oriented among us, you might be interested to know that I would put her head, which had been cozily cradled in my arm, or on my shoulder, or against my chest, when she fell asleep, into the warm spot. That really seemed to help. Plopping her body into the warm spot but letting her head hit cold sheets usually woke her up.

Also, we would put her blankets (yes, yes, I know, another no no) over the hot water bottle while it was heating up her spot. Then they were also a bit warm when we tucked her in. This usually worked to keep her sleeping (for an hour or two, but that's another story).

[Melba]

yeah I agree with @laura - the problem is the fact that the baby is 4 months old. Is there anyone alive who did not have to deal with this when their baby was at that age? Anyone?

I did all the usual things mentioned above... the painfully slow, inch by inch shift from against my body to lying in the crib... on her side (because she was on her side in my arms, tummy to tummy)... pressure on her thigh and top arm for a few minutes, slowly slowly easing it off until you aren't touching anymore... the ninja sneak out of the room, avoiding the floor creaks and door creaks... prayers to @Sarcasticarrie's matron saint of sleeping... then cursing said saint upon the first wail just moments later... sometimes.

For me, I found that the more I did these tricks, the better and better they worked, until we got to the point of just putting her down and she'd stir a little but fall back asleep, and then to the point of putting her down awake. There's no magic fix for this, other than the obvious: time. My 3.5 year old and 11 month old both can go to sleep on their own, not in my arms, and stay asleep. Moxie is right - we all say we dealt with this problem yet we all say they grow out of it too.

But when you're in the thick of it, time inches forward and it truly does seem like it will never end. I remember that part all too clearly, it wasn't that long ago for me. A thousand times good luck, Andrew.

[Megan]

It may be unfashionable to say so, but the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD worked for us. I checked it out of the library, and it gives specific info on swaddling, shushing, and jiggling. They also have a white noise CD with multiple tracks, including "Song of the Swedish robots", "Broken dot-matrix printer" and "Mommy can't hear you because she's blow-drying her hair". I'd crank it on the stereo and it seemed to help.

We also did all sleeping and naps in the first few months in a wheeled bassinet - so we could shake and rock that thing as much as needed. And by "thing", I mean the bassinet.

[bonnie]

My son was really good at falling asleep independently but not really at staying asleep (at least until he was around 14 months when he switched to 1 nap and it was like the heavens opened and he slept through the night and took 1.5-2 hr naps). Anyways, for the first 6 months or so (until he started to roll over in his sleep) we put this little rice sack over his chest when he was asleep. It's a trick that my mom taught me that apparently lots of Chinese people do. You make a sac that's like 5 inches x 10 inches - just use scrap fabric - and fill it with 1 to 1.5 cups of rice (or more if your babe is big). Then you sort of spread it either across the baby's chest, or lengthwise down his whole front, when he is sleeping. We found that it seemed to keep him from jerking awake. We found it helpful in the winter because you can stick the sack in the microwave to warm it up a bit too.

also, sleep at 4 months sucked, period. you just sort of try everything and pray for time to pass quickly.

[Kris]

SWADDLE. Seriously, swaddle. This was MAGIC with my son. I used two large thin flannel blankets, swaddled him in one and then swaddled him again in the second one. This video shows about what I did (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQ_njAgOhQo&safety_mode=true&persist_safety_mode=1). It really helped when I was putting him to sleep because there wasn't such a big difference between being held and lying in his crib--what he always felt was the snug blanket all around him. He got so used to it that it was like a light switch, once he was all wrapped up tight, he just totally relaxed. It became a comforting routine for him. He slept swaddled until he was seven months old.

[Betsy]

Pressing down firmly with both hands on his body and slllllloooooowwwwwllllyyyy releasing them was what worked for us. If he stirred, even a little, the pressure was back on. I have no idea why that worked, but it did.

[Zenmoo]

From ~3.5 months to ~7 months - For day sleeps, I just gave in and enjoyed serious couch time with a warm baby on my lap. I started reading blogs, caught up on a few tv series (hurrah for closed captions). Spending 4 hours a day on the couch made me feel like I was getting a big fat ass - but it also gave me a free pass on housework. I just kept telling myself I will never have the same opportunity to do this again and that I will miss it.

And now she's 12 months, sleeps in her cot and I do miss that snuggly time.

[blue]

My data points:

DS was swaddled from birth, which was his main sleep cue... but I don't think that will help to introduce at 4 months.

DD, on the other hand, didn't respond to the swaddle, or much of anything. I slept next to her a lot and would roll away and just leave her in my bed.

One thing that helped with both kids when I wanted to put them down asleep after nursing was to wait about 20 minutes. I found that the sleep was much deeper after that time frame than it would have been after, say 5 or 10 minutes.

Of course, 4 months is just hard hard hard in the sleep department, so if nothing else works, waiting may be the best course of action.

Good luck Andrew and family!

[JMom]

It's possible that one of the approaches in this thread will make a difference. It's also possible that none of them will make any difference at all. Three babies later and I really never found a magic bullet. Except time. All will change with the passage of time.

[the milliner]

All great suggestions so far. I don't really have much new to add, but, yes, SWADDLE! We swaddled for 10.5 mos. Helped a lot, for us. I actually had to wean DS off in order for him to go to daycare.

Also, my variation on the keep a hand on them thing was that I would put DS down with my full forearm under him, and then slooooowly remove it. For some reason this worked.

And to save my back (I think around 4 months was when it was getting really sore), I built a riser for the crib that I put between the matress and
the spring base. Even the crib on the highest position was too low. But
obviously this depends on the model you have. I noticed the difference on
a friends crib, so I measured how low down their mattress was so that I
would stay within a safe height. Made a huge difference and I used it
until DS was able to sit up on his own.

Nothing but comiseration from me. This thing in particular made me crazy as we were getting so little sleep as is. If we ever have another kid, I'm totally using @ MrsHaley's heating pad idea!

But yeah, at 4 mos sleep went out the window (aka 4 month sleep regression), so this is definitely a period when the transfer is really difficult.

[Andrea]

Mine took all of his naps in his car seat for the first four or five months. We swaddled until about month 6? Swaddling - I think that's what really helped us with that putting-down-to-sleep thing. Oh, and at about 5 months we got one of those crib soothers with the monkey and frog and it plays soft music and lights. When we started swaddling with one arm out, he figured out how to bat at the button to turn it on. We would even hear it at 2am, but he was entertained and wouldn't cry for attention. He's 2.5 now and in a twin bed, but he still has the Monkey TV to watch/listen to each night.

[Lisa F.]

I just had a flashback to Moxie describing sneaking away from sleeping small child as being like a "terrified ninja" which was SO accurate!

[Tina]

Oh lordy, this was us for AGES. I tried everything, but as soon as I put S down she squirmed and woke herself up. I ended up with her sleeping on my chest until she was 5 weeks, and then just taking her to bed with me (although I learned to put her to sleep on me in the rocking chair, so at least I could watch some TV and get to bed after 7:30).

But she slept in her stroller or swing for her (short!) naps, or on me at times, so that gave me a bit of a break.

At some point, Daddy would lay with her till she went to sleep, and transfer her to her crib. When that went out the window a month ago, I've taken to rocking her to sleep and putting her down. As she gets older (she's 15 months now), she just seems to be able to be knocked out a little deeper, and easier to transfer. Hang in there--it gets better!

Now if only she didn't wake up 3 times a night... Ah, well. It'll come!

[Kim]

Babies and cribs.

Two kids later, I have come to the conclusion that the first year, in particular, is just hard. Their sleep is always disrupted by something. Teething, sleep regressions, the weather. Just when you think you have it down, it changes.

My first I could not get in a crib for the life of me. She slept through at 10 weeks, but was a cosleeper by nature. At 3, she still is.

My second was a horrible sleeper overall. Up every hour no matter what I did. Swaddling helped some. White noise helped some. Nursing him helped some. But really, the first year was just difficult. But now, at almost 17 months, he goes to sleep, in his crib by himself. He just did it one day about a month ago. Truth be told, I have no idea why. I tried before, it didn't work. And then out of the blue it happened. It was like magic.

So, hang in there. It gets better. Just like everything with kids, it will pass!

[crescentgirl]

Another voice for the warm blanket. I used fleece-style so they felt more like my sweatshirt/flannel shirt/etc.

We also waited for "the big sigh" which with one son was 11 minutes after he'd fallen asleep and more like 17 with the other one. Then it was safer to try laying them down (swaddled in the blanket I'd already draped over us so it smelled familiar, was warm, etc.)

In the end, I lie down with them. I sprang em both from cribs early and used a futon on the floor. Works for all of us! Eventually they grow out of needing/wanting us there with them. They're only little once!

[Shalini]

At 4 months, the swaddling our baby loved... the 2nd one.. the first one, just hated it, so just depends...

I say try a variety of things and see what works the best... I also did let her cry it out after we made sure that she was fed, clean, and warm.

Good luck!

[Liz]

I don't have any words of wisdom here. This has been really tough for me with both of my kids. I remember I'd put my daughter down in the crib and she'd wake up and I'd have to start the whole routine over again--rocking, nursing, etc. She typically stayed asleep the 2nd time.

With my son, who is now 8 months, it has been very, very tough. The 4 month sleep regression coincided with him learning how to roll over so I stopped swaddling him. It was hell. I'd put him down, totally asleep, and he'd wake up instantly and SCREAM. Again and again. This is just now starting to even out and I have been able to put him down just once or twice and he'll stay asleep for a while. He will wake up in the middle of the night to nurse but always goes back down right away, luckily.

So...just saying I feel your pain and it will get better.

[Tina]

Oh, the Fisher Price Ocean mobile/projector worked for awhile at about 4-5 months, too. S actually fell asleep on her own for that month when we used it.

[Cloud]

Neither of my girls really liked to be swaddled- by 4 months, both had figured out how to bust out of the swaddle, even in the fancy swaddling blankets, but even so, we'd wrap them up in a swaddle just to help with the transfer. Since the blanket was between them and the crib (or actually moses basket or cosleeper), they didn't get the shock of a cold sheet. Baby #2 was actually a pretty good sleeper when she was little, and could go into her cosleeper awake if you timed it right, so she was a lot easier. She still is easier that her sister was, but is no longer happy to go down awake.

The pressure on the tummy with a hand right after transfer helped both of our girls. So did leaning in and holding their legs down so that they couldn't kick themselves awake.

But yeah, that time period just sucks.