Everything nice

In the comments of Friday's post, Jaycee said:

"When I read comments about how difficult or challenging or frustrating or tiring it is having young children, I feel sad and angry. This is not a judgement. I know I should probably stop reading, but I'm always hoping to read about the joy and bliss and pride and utter euphoria of being a parent. I feel so lucky."

Yeah, I feel sad and angry, too. I wish it was easier for all of us! It seems so unfair and isolating and cruel that we find ourselves in these difficult places, and feel like we're in the bottom of a canyon with no way to climb out (or even knowing we can climb out but it'll be a long hard trip).

I know I appreciate the great moments more because things haven't been perfect and blissful all the time. But I also feel a responsibility to other parents to be honest about how it sucks, sometimes a lot, and how it is also unbelievably wonderful, sometimes a lot.

So, since we shared signposts and frustrations Friday, how about sharing signposts and delights today?

I'll start:

My older son crawled in with me on Sunday morning and we had a discussion about computer hackers, how I'd let him live with me even if he became a computer hacker, our cats, the role of cats in ancient Egypt, and the current challenge he's working on in one of his video games.

Last night my little one crawled on the couch with me and snuggled for a full half hour before getting up and running off. And recently he likes to sing everything he says. Mostly to the tune of The Imperial March from "Star Wars."

What made you thrilled about being a parent recently?

 

Comments

[Stacy]

My son, who just turned 5 a week ago (sniff), is really into playing card games now, like Go Fish. We've been playing that a lot as a family (son, DH, and me) with the TV off, after dinner. It's been a lot of fun, and not a chore, like "playing" Candy Land and the like used to be a year or so ago. He's also taught us a new to us card game called Trash and it's funny to see the rules that are obviously not accurate, but he insists they are. It's great because I feel like we're all on equal ground more or less when we're playing these games together. We all get silly and goofy, and genuinely enjoy each others' company!

[Moxie]

@seadragon, I often find myself responding to him using a Darth Vader voice, without realizing I'm doing it. The nerd doesn't really fall far from the tree...

[lisa]

Yeah, its the singing. My child singing equals my child is happy. When she goes downstairs in the dark, by herself to play, no tv, at 6:30 a.m., and wanders around singing, I feel I've done my job well so far, and that she feels our love.

[Tina]

My 14-month-old is talking up a storm and learning new words--or at least using new words--every day. I love how she surprises me with things I didn't even knew she knew. My husband and I keep giving each other the "Holy crap, did you hear that?" look.

Today I got "noss!" (for snow), "sky" (for where snow comes from), "dush" (for my makeup brush), "nose" (for the nose of some guy on a DVD cover), and "issu" (for tissue).

When we're out in public, I try to make her babble her vocabulary just to show her off. I'm worse than a grandmother with a wallet full of pictures!

[lisa]

4.75 y.o.

In Shi Shi grocery, "yuck, what's that?" (split boned chicken breasts displayed unwrapped by the dozen) "it's chicken. We like chicken". I begin to plot my route from the free samples of smoked salmon to the little cups of fruit trifle....

"...it looks like chicken vaginas..." repeated 3 more times before I tune out the treat map and tune in to "vaginas".

Curious George interrupted for PBS fundraising. Tantrum ensues. "I'm NEVER giving them any of MY money!!!!!"

[Stacy]

@lisa, LOL! As for Curious George interruptions, last Monday, on my son's 5th birthday, our local PBS station had the nerve to REPLACE the 7am Curious George with a Sesame Street Hanukkah special! Talk about an unhappy birthday boy... (And we even celebrate Hanukkah, but dear lord, let nothing come between my son and his 7am Curious George.)

[Rachel]

Oh, it's all joy and bliss over here. He is bright and shiny, and so darn happy all the time. He wants to know and understand everything, he listens and says thank you. He resists cuddles most of the time, but is extremely polite about it. "no thank you mama! I must go move those toys".

Data points, 2.75, boy, only child.

[SarcastiCarrie]

I have to say that the stories of the adult kids having intiative and being polite and living out of the house makes me both happy and sad. I'm glad all this hard parenting work actually works, but so sad that its goal is to make myself somewhat obsolete. Some day my babies won't live in my house and will call me on the phone and tell me about their lives. Bittersweet. At least their nighttime waking won't be my problem any more.

[paola]

My almost 6 year old son's translation into Italian (for the benefit of his Italian grandmother)of a conversation he'd been having with me in English, explaining how Diprodoton was the first dinosaur that actually chewed its food rather than swallowing it whole and digesting it with the aid of rocks. I was bowled over both for the information and the accuracy of the translation!

[BlueBirdMama]

I feel incredibly lucky that my parenting experience is 90% joy and bliss, 10% hassle and frustration (or maybe it's even 95-5). But it's amazing how guilty you can feel for the "bad" 10% and how helpful it is to have a place to go to vent and commiserate.

My 3.75 y.o. son is a funny, sweet, helpful, musical, energetic (usually without being wild or rambunctious), fairly flexible and mellow guy. Most of the time he's an absolute delight to be around, and when he's not it's usually some behavior that's developmentally appropriate or I'm just tired/in a bad mood.

He is really hilarious right now with all of the funny things he says and my husband and I are constantly cracking up at the things he says-- we have a lot of family inside jokes, which I love. He's intellectually curious, loves understanding how things work, loves being read to and "reading" to himself, which I'm so happy to see developing in him. On the other hand, he also loves all kinds of physical play and fantasy play-- it's amazing and fun to see how he can lose himself in long, complicated pretend games with his friends ("bad pirates", "bad robbers", and pilgrims and indians are current favorites).

I'm also so proud of what a helpful and considerate little boy he's becoming… of course, there's plenty of normal 3 y.o. narcissism, but he's amazingly good at sharing, helping out, saying please and thank you and reminding us to "be careful" and "drive careful". I am constantly in awe of what a wonderful little human being he is turning into, how every day he has new ideas, abilities, insights and experiences to share. Again and again I think of Hedra and Will's manifesto for how to "not break them", because the truth is, he's pretty wonderful as is and my big parenting goal is to create the conditions where he can just keep becoming himself.

Baby #2 is due in a couple of weeks. I'm hoping the transition to a family of four won't be too tough, but I know it will throw us all for a loop; I'm worried for my son, though we've been doing a lot to prepare him (including acknowledging he may not always be so excited about his sibling, which is ok). I just hope our little trio eventually makes even sweeter music as a quartet.

[L.]

Jaycee and M, I have to say I'm with you. I love infancy. LOVE IT. I did NOT EVER want to throw my baby out the window. Sure, the sleep deprivation is rough, but I never minded. I did not find my baby uninteresting or spend a lot of time trying to stop ceaseless screaming. I have spent a lot of time snuggling, cuddling, playing and wondering at their helpless beauty. It bothers me, too, to think of all those mothers to helpless infants who resent them. (There, I said it.) At the same time I know that my infants were pretty happy, as babies go, so if I had a real screamer/child with colic... my experience would have been very different.

My life with infants, nevertheless, has NOT been perfect and I really want people who are having a rough time to reach out and get help. So I respect people needing to reach out and speak with each other, and I'm glad Moxie provides such a place.

I am also not some sort of perfect parent or paragon of attachment. I find toddlerhood/preschooler age incredibly rough, at least with my older (the younger is not quite there yet), and am constantly questioning myself and feeling inadequate there, so that's my particular Achilles' heel so far. I figure we all have them, just for different phases.

However, I did want to get this out there, to say that if you love infancy and infants, it is normal and OK, too, and it really does happen that way for some people.

[laura]

I helped my four year old fill out her "Habits I'm Practicing This Week" chart this morning. She wants:

- to be Brave (try new things, not wake mommy up at night!)
- to be faster (exercise, practicing her bike)
- to cooperate (obey mommy and daddy, help with chores)
- to be creative (getting the art supplies out again!)

It just fills me with joy when she wants to tackle big, heart-things like that with such confidence. I know that comes from the family culture we create at home, so I pretty much burst with pride too.

It's my signpost for knowing that I'm doing a good job as a mama, despite my fragmented sleep (hello 9.5 month old near-walker) and a slight over-reliance on Curious George as a babysitter. :)

[Alexicographer]

This was a tough weekend for us. Cold, grey, rainy, stuck inside, DS (3.75 or so) not wanting to go the places he generally enjoys going in such circumstances (e.g. library, mall, lovely warm indoor swimming pool), and completely outraged by the way the layers of his winter clothing line up one on top of another, no matter how they are placed, not to mention the horrors inveighed by SOCKS and SHOES.

And yet, and yet. The expressions on his face watching classic Donald Duck shorts on youtube (Out on a Limb, Test Pilot), his comments when he finally braved the layers of winter clothes to go out for a walk yesterday evening and saw all the neighbors' Christmas lights, and warning me there was "lightning" then realizing it was our neighbors walking behind us with flashlights and his sheer joy both at his confusion (about lightning) and at seeing the neighbors. An implausibly pleasant dinner out on Saturday evening after an implausibly unpleasant venture when I insisted we would go to the swimming pool together. Having him wrap his arms around my neck so I can pick him up to open today's advent calendar door. The utter joy he derives from helping me make banana bread, and from discussing at length the (many) colors he chose to paint the mug he gave me for my birthday.

[Suz]

A parent of a child at my daughter's preschool told me that her son said "today I was sad, but Melinda made me feel better, she's a great friend." Wow.

[Ginger]

1. My 15 month old's face lights up when I walk in the door at the end of the day.
2. He's in a phase right now where he wants to be read to, constantly. He'll bring book after book after book, handing them to me and then either climbing up in my lap or settling on my knee (if I"m on the ground).
3. Belly laughs from everything from birds flying through the air, to the cat jumping over the baby gate, to being tickled, to the lights twinkling on the Christmas tree.
4. He now knows how to indicate that he does or doesn't want something. He's still not talking, but this little act of communication makes SUCH a big difference.

[Lumberjack]

@Sarah, safe and sage- two spices this mama needs!
Before baby, I got the spectrum of what motherhood would be like- idyllic, dreamy, pastel, heaven! And the Calvinist version- you feed em', clothe em', then they leave, that's the way it goes. And the almost threatening version- you don't know what you're in for. Men would also tell me childbirth would rip me apart and I would scream for painkillers.
Well, I never did scream and I had a natural birth. Not because it didn't hurt, but because I was in so much pain I didn't open my mouth a peep. Because that's how I handled it.
I handle being a mother like that too, and it's hard for me to ask for help. I found Ask Moxie and it's definitely been a safe/ sage haven for me. So thank you mamas and papas!
One lovely moment happened the other day. I was pretty defeated, just sorta sitting in the nursery (where baby Jack has never slept) and Jack was screaming his head off. I had to just sit and breathe. He came over, blinked his eyes and cocked his head at me. I was crying a little myself and he just started clapping his hands tentatively. It made me very happy.

[AmyinMotown]

My daughter (just turned 6...6!!! How did THAT happen?) has always been funny, but now she's making comments and saying things that are actually witty and clever. Love. She's so smart and funny I just cannot get over her. And my son (2.75) is hilarious, every day. Lately he's been singing to himself in his crib, which makes me giggle, and has taken to walking up to one or the other family member, throwing his arms around their necks, and yelling "I yuv you SO MUCH!!!"I was stressed to the max this morning with an ill-timed snow day and that just made everything OK. H's also insisting on adding his snow boots and a pair of fairy wings to every single outfit. And right now my girl is snuggling with me and watching TV. I love that she's this very grown up 6 year old but still likes to snuggle with her mom.

Yes, there are days my husband and I do the "touchdown" signal when we walk out of their rooms at night, but generally, this is the best time of my life and I know it.

[hush]

Yes, this gig is hard, yes this gig is wonderful, yes to everything everyone has already said good, bad, ugly, amazeballs, etc etc etc. Like others, I've always said if you want only unicorns, rainbows, and a Stepford-esque, essentialized version of motherhood, you'd best look elsewhere. I keep coming back here because I can be vulnerable, hear the perspectives of smart parents who get it, and get the truth about what raising an X year old is really all about - which helps me immensely, and given the small town where I live, this is something I can't find IRL.

Back when I had one child who was a sweet 8-month-old DS, I confess that I couldn't even imagine anything that could incite me to get angry enough to want to (gasp!) yell at him. Now that he is 3 and I also have a 14-month-old DD, I have definitely been kicked the eff of that old high horse. YMMV, but try to take the long-term view. Things change. Kids are wonderfully weird. Which is a good thing! If you've never experienced something firsthand then yes, it can be hard to identify with others who have.

I'm glad @Moxie addressed this so proactively. Sometimes the whole "two camps" dynamic we occasionally fall into around here whenever someone makes a comment speaking his/her unvarnished truth about the difficulties of parenting that sparks something inside someone else who was able to live it differently who then responds along the lines of "I kind of feel sorry for people like you who weren't as lucky as me even though I'm not perfect or anything," which is a no-less valid comment BTW... and occasionally it all gets awkward and even feels a little too media-created-eyeroll-worthy-"mommy-war"-ish for me. So glad we didn't go down that path this time (said lovingly). Thanks @Moxie!

[Kristina]

My 2.5 year old DS is delayed in speech and for a long time we worried about autism. He is being evaluated in March of 2011. He recently began talking up a storm and amazing his therapists with huge changes on a weekly basis. When he went in for his nap today, I heard him sing the alphabet song to himself. The whole thing. I couldn't believe it.

He also sat with me in my studio and helped me make a wooden car. We whacked with the hammer and he laughed. He said, "help momma."

Tears in my eyes. Yeah, my little man is in there.

[Shalini]

I was able to actually read a little board book to my 17 month old and she was oohing and aahing over the pictures. Usually she throws the books.

My 5 year old wants to wait to meet a "husband (just like her daddy[meaning a nice man])" and then WAIT to have babies.

I love these funny conversations with 5 year olds. They sounds so "grown up" but yet so innocent!

I love my kids and I know even in the midst of the "crappola" of parenting that it's worth it...

[Claudia]

I vacillated about whether to post anything here. I am one of them who is very glad to have a place for the commiseration. My family, friends, daughter's parents, etc. are the people with whom we share our delight in our children.
Then I came across this quote from an ex-pat site I read, and wanted to use it to express why I think we gather here in Moxieland for bemoaning (and troubleshooting!) our difficulties with our children: "We count our miseries carefully, and accept our blessings without much thought." --Chinese proverb
Daily life is where I accept my blessings. Places like Ask Moxie is where I *need* to focus on the miseries carefully. Not to wallow in it, but to understand it, find sympathetic ears, and then rejoice when I've felt it's no longer a problem. That could just as easily be me deciding to make peace with an "issue" as it could be my daughter growing out of a challenging phase.

Right then, on to the cute stuff: She is social without demanding the spotlight all the time. Sometimes she has the timing of a stand-up comic. We were on a horse and carriage ride at a Christmas village, and she sat with the drivers in front. She cracked all sorts of one-liners, loud enough for the whole carriage to hear. One being (told in Danish), "I can speak English, but I just don't have time for it."

In general, she's fun, funny, happy and polite. We interact the way I (ideally) interact with anyone; with mutual respect, normal tones of voice and a light heart. She has been way more joy than difficulty since she was 2 1/2. But even then, when she wasn't in a horrid tantrum, she was still fun and happy. I am proud and thankful and awe-struck that we are so lucky to have such a genuinely great person as our daughter.

[mom2boy]

Playing jump over the plush soccer ball and after many failed attempts to clear the soccer ball he finally does and says "Good job myself!" He's three and I love, love, love his language, motor skill and cognitive growth spurts.
I love being his mother. Best choice I ever made in my life was to become a parent. I love him beyond words.
And yet, I get tired and frustrated and life, including the being a mom part, can occasionally seem overwhelming. Being able to say so and hear back that I'm not alone in feeling that way, instantly lifts a great deal of the ohmygodican'ttakethisonemoresecond feeling. It's just a shift in my mental state but I need the outside validation to help me get there. This place is one of the best I've found for that. I will be eternally grateful to everyone who has commented along the way.
But back to kids say the darndest things - "mom, why don't spiders have a penis?" Um, what?

[Chris]

We made gingerbread cookies yesterday and no one fought over the decorations!

Little brother yells at big sister every morning as she runs to the bus "Have a good day!" and today she said it back to him instead of just running onto the bus.

Big sister is now responsible for feeding cats every day and she is doing a great job.

Little brother did a great job at his preschool Christmas program on Saturday and acted more maturely than most of the other 4 year olds.

[Dawn]

My 7 year old says she's going to live with me forever, open a restaurant in the open space area at the entrance to our development (Italian, because everyone likes Italian food, Mama), and become an astronaut. She's delightful.

My 3 year old gives me kisses every day. She's delightful too.

[Jennifer]

My almost six year old liked dinner so much tonight (Jamie Oliver's Chicken Pot Pie) that he gave me some "thumbs up on dinner, Mama" action. And cleaned his plate twice.

[Bethany]

Parenting has far and away been the best (and also hardest) experience of my life!! Every single minute you put into your kids is so incredibly worth it! I've believed that with my whole heart the entire three years my daughter has been here whether it's been a particularly challenging or easier time.

In general, the more challenging things in life are the ones that turn out to be far and away the most rewarding. Sometimes we get stuck in the difficulty/challenges/tiredness of it - especially when we're in the middle of a long climb (newborn/first year stage, bad sleep phase, medical issues to deal with, etc.) But, honestly, it is all so very worth it and rewarding.

Instead of listing all of those little tiny things that I find rewarding, I'll offer a different perspective: Each year (around my daughter's birthday) I make a scrapbook for her on one of those online photo places and it is AMAZING for ME to relive our past year in pictures of all of the incredible things we did, adding commentary of how awesome we think she is and all that she has accomplished. It brings up all of those tiny moments and many, many more. I make it for her and I also always order one for myself so I'll have it to look over in the nursing home years from now :)

[Julie]

I'm in constant awe of how smart and funny and observant my almost-three-year-old is."Mama, does Santa wear red undies?" was her question to me this morning. There are too many of these instances for me to mention or remember. I try to write them down when I can, or at least keep them in my brain long enough to share with my husband when he gets home from work.

My daughter is delightful, entertaining company, and even on our tough days, I'm keenly aware of what a privilege it is to be her mother. I feel especially fortunate that I get to stay at home with her; I can't think of another job I'd rather be doing.

[Alyssa]

When my 15 month old points to the CD player, asking for music. And when I turn it on, we dance! I love it so much! It makes me smile and laugh and he even lets me hold him for the slow songs. Or when my 3.75 yr old plays Indiana Jones (Andy Jones as he says) or cuddles with me each night or gets so very excited about Christmas! He is an emotional and sweet boy.

[Amy]

My 2.5 year old checks the tree every morning because he just can't grasp the time/days till Christmas thing. Some days he just sits in his pjs and looks at the lights and ornaments in wonder, his hair sticking up in the back.

This morning he lay down in front of the tree in his pjs and pretended to make snow angels.

Totally makes up for the toddler meltdown last night.

[Kate]

@Kristina, I know just how you feel. My son had a speech delay also. When he was 2 I was the only person in the world (my husband sort of, not as much) who knew what a great sense of humor he had. We signed (ASL) but it was more than that...just timing and facial expressions, somehow.

[anatomist]

i was in the middle of stress from finals and trying to memorize artists names and styles and trying to find time to do my homework without distraction and then my 3 year old boy climbed into bed with me where i was studying and picked up one of my books and started looking at art and telling me which he liked and what he wasn't into and it was just amazing to suddenly realize that we can share things like that now that he is getting bigger.

[L.]

I can feel my dander getting up even though it's not necessary. I think because I am SO optimistic and perky, and here (and twitter) is often the only place I ever let go and admit the miserable times. I love "look at the good stuff" posts, I just hate that it is in response to a "there's too much bad stuff" post. Perhaps it's defensive, but I it really is exhausting. It's like when you talk about how hard it can be to breastfeed and people say you shouldn't talk about it because it might make people not want to do it. I don't know, I think getting told it would be easy then finding you were lied to would be a bigger problem My kids are completely amazing. my 4yo is so smart I have to work hard not to make her feel labeled. my 21mo is loving and adorable and hilarious and SO DAMN SWEET. my 4mo is one of the prettiest sweetest pleasantest babies I have ever seen. I want to eat all 3 of them on a regular basis. I do, however, find that the 1.5-3yo stage makes me want to stab myself in the ear, babies are easy and loveable, and 4yos are sasspots. That doesnt' mean anyone else will find the exact same thing. But it is nice to know people aren't universally feeling good or bad. I love that this site encompasses the good and the bad both and doesn't make anyone feel shamed.

Typos courtesy of the wiggly 4mo and no time to go back and correct.

[charlene]

I hated the first 2-3 months... but my 11-month-old is perfectly lovely. Oh, she has her moments ("Mommy is just going to wash her hands, she is not Leaving You Forever!"), but it's just amazing. Lots of people told me that it would be hard (though no one quite described to me the awfulness of the first month until after I had the baby... I wish someone had), and lots told me it would be worth it, but I feel like no one quite communicated the sheer joy of watching cognitive development from the very beginning. It's just SO much fun to see her figure out things... last month she was obsessed with how doors worked, and she's gone from not understanding the difference between push and pull, in a couple of weeks, to being able to consistently open and shut any ajar door. Which, okay, is not all great if a cabinet in the kitchen is left open, but man was it cool to watch her figure it out.

As to negative vs. positive comments: I'm the sort of person who would rather know the worst and be pleasantly surprised by the best (I've loved being surprised by how fun having an 11-month-old is), but I know other people are different.

[Melba]

The delights... my 10 month old Annie dancing to Christmas songs, smiling away. The best - when everyone, and I mean everyone, asks me "is she always this happy?" and I say "yes" because she really is. She's the happiest baby ever. During the day. ;)

My 3.5 year old Rosie who tells me she loves me soooo much completely on her own without prompting. And who loves to bake and cook with me, and to do crafts several times a day. She also loves to clean, which when she gets a little better at it, is a really awesome bonus!

Both my girls are at a really trying age... Annie's sleep is getting worse and worse and our nights are awful, and Rosie's tantrums and 3.5ness is just about more than I can handle on a daily basis. And yes, this is the place that I feel we can all come and discuss how difficult it all is. But I sure hope that no one mistakes our difficulties as being regret or dislike. Because for most of us, that's not the case. It's like @Bethany says above, "the more challenging things in life are the ones that turn out to be far and away the most rewarding." So true.

[Erin]

(sorry if this is a double-post - the internet ate my first version and I'm not sure if it will spit it back out.)

@ L : "I can feel my dander getting up even though it's not necessary. .. " Yes! I've been struggling with this all day. The breastfeeding parallel is a good one, and I know what you mean by exhausted. Some of the posts have made me feel like I have to justify being a loving parent! I don't think that sharing my struggles makes me negative (as a person or a parent), and I'm certainly not resentful of my children. Since the birth of #2 I've been so blissed out most days I feel like I'm drunk on oxytocin. But the nearly five months of unrelenting sleep deprivation are getting to me, and making parenting my spirited 2.5 yr old more challenging. I'm just so grateful to my fellow Moxites for their advice, support, commiseration, & encouragement in joyful times and sucktastic ones.

[momofmany]

My parenting experience used to be nothing but joy and bliss and pride and utter euphoria. Then we had a 2nd and 3rd. Whole different ballgame.

[L.]

Erin, glad you enjoyed the analogy. :)

momofmany, I kind of want to make out with your comment because YES that is EXACTLY my experience. My first was challenging but I didn't care and I loved nearly every second. My second is just as loveable of a person, but is just flat-out HARDER to deal with things when you have another kid or two (or 5) to also deal with. Part of my issue may be some stress on my part that we originally wanted to stop at 2 kids but ended up with a surprise (adorable and wonderful) 3rd? But yeah, parenting one kid was easy and sunshine and rainbows and unicorns. 3 kids has made a bit of a dent in my innate optimism. :)

[Stacey]

After a full day of our almost 4 year old twins screaming at each other and running to me every few minutes I got to listen to them have a long conversation over the baby monitor. After they were done, the conversation at an end, our son said "night, I love you" to our daughter. She returned the sentiment and I could hear them blowing kisses to each other. That erased my weariness from a day of screaming.

[Cloud]

Ooh, you got me on a bad day for bliss. My baby is home with yet another mysterious fever and my preschooler didn't want to go to day care today because she says the other kids won't play with her.

But I'll try... when she's sick, Petunia (the baby) just wants to be held. She is miserable and pathetic and I'd do anything to make her feel better. But holding a snuggly little baby is a very sweet thing, particularly since I know that I won't be having any more babies, and she's 14 months old now- so coming up fast on the phase when they just want to run and move and hardly have time for snuggles.

Pumpkin (the preschooler) is smart and sweet and loves to make her little sister laugh. Last night, she played a vigorous game of peekaboo for as long as we'd let her, just to cheer up her little sister. It was sweet.

There's more, but today is not the day for me to come up with it. Sorry to the folks who find that a downer! But I don't think you should feel sorry for my kids. They are loved beyond anything else in their parents' lives, and if I vent here or on my own blog, the primary reason is to clear the mental space to dive back in and parent them with the patience and intensity that such an important undertaking deserves.

[jci]

I am only ten months into parenting, and many times over, I have been deeply appreciative of the honesty here (in the blog and its comments) about the challenges of having a little one.

That said, today's moment: her signing "milk" back to me for the first time.

[LauraLou]

My soon-to-be 3-year-old son will sometimes sing Mr. Sandman by the Chordettes (his all time FAVE song is their Lollipop Song, but he likes Mr. Sandman, too). Naturally he skips words, or repeats them, and the tune and phrasing are pretty "interpretive", but eGADS it makes me happy to hear it! And my favorite part of his version? "So please turn on your magic BEANS..." That's my heart there, melted on the ground, y'all. :-}

[Shelley]

I have a lot to add to this one, but here are just a few. My daughter and son (1.5 and 3.5) often reach their arms out to one another and say, "Hug?" And then give each other hugs that end in giggles. I think our affectionate parenting has something to do with this.

My daughter has begun to say things in sentences and hammers them out in a really hilarious methodical robot-like voice. I guess it's all about the effort when she comes up with a new sentence. It's both funny and amazing. My son keeps telling me random stories that are truly beautiful or singing songs out of the blue that are stunningly thoughtful, lovely boy soprano tunes.

I do love parenting. Enough that even in the midst of supremely frustrating times there is a little voice that tells me it's just a short span of time and soon I'll feel the total adoration of these two people again.

[Tina]

After reading through these, I just wanted to add that I, too, thought parenting was going to be one, long lovefest. And I ended up a pretty miserable mess the first 5 months--sleep deprived, anxious, overwhelmed, and scared. What got me through were good friends who always tell it like it is, and sites like this where parents are honest and sympathetic.

I love baby like nothing else in this world, and the responsibility of that--and the loss of life as I knew it--is pretty dang hard to cope with at times. But coming here, and talking to friends, to vent and realize you're normal and not alone... well, that's like Prozac for me.

I totally respect all those parents who find parenthood a breeze and a joy all the time, but I must honestly admit that I simply can't relate to you (even though I'm sure you're all really, really nice!).

[thebigmeow]

I was at a baby shower on the weekend and we spent the whole afternoon sharing stories about everything, from dropping babies on their heads to over-hearing the conversations our kids have when they're playing. It was so much fun.

Last week I was getting ready to go out and I was putting make-up on. My nearly-6-year-old son came in to me and said, "I like the colours on your eyes mum" and after I put my glitter mascara on he asked, "Why do you have sprinkles on your eyes?"

It was adorable.

[Cloud]

OK, I've got another one: Petunia (14 months) dancing to the Dora "we did it" song, and then turning to her big sister (3.5 years) with her hand up for a high five. And Pumpkin giving her a high five while dancing.

[Jennifer]

Yes - I love this! It is so important to revel in the Good of Small People!
My 2.5 y.o. son spontaneously sings songs, even songs that he's only heard a few times. Very few things are as cute as, "You Are My Sunshine" sung by a high, lispy voice.
When I'm having an irritated moment with him, or if I stub my toe, or for whatever reason I have a sad look on my face, he will stop everything, put his hand on my shoulder, and say softly in my ear, "Don't worry Momma, it will be alright." *melt*
He pretends his stuffed animals are brothers and makes them hug and kiss each other.
He dances to music, both played and in his head.

I could go on, but you get the point. I would say by 18 months, The Good definitely outweighed The Bad.

[Carmen]

My 3 1/2 yr old said, "What did one slippery say to the other slippery? I feel slipperous!!" My 1 yr old said, "Mumum" with a sweet smile. They wear me out but they rock.

[Ashlee]

My son (2.5) and I play this kiss game. It's where we slowly lean in to one another, going, "MMMMMmmmmmmmmm," (as in Muah) then just before we kiss I fake out and turn my head and scream, "Nooooo! No kisses". It cracks him up and he then proceeds to hold my chin between both of his chubby toddler hands and force kisses me, or gives me rasberries on my cheeks or chin. Over and over we'll do this until we're both belly-ache laughing and filled up with kisses. We played this while waiting for our to-go order yesterday and it was the easiest, best 20 minutes of my weekend. Love that kid to pieces.

[Stephanie]

Postpartum depression robbed me of the ability to really enjoy my son's infancy, so I bristle at the thought that this web space need be infused with a modge podge of sunshine and rainbows when all I saw in the first year of his life was miserable grey. There are enough sites out there that made me feel like an asshole mother. This one didn't. If the posts and the comments here make someone sad and angry upon reading, so be it. I was pretty sad and angry then, too.

That said, I now have some seriously profound joy in parenting my almost three year old. Man, he is something else. Just today, he found a button in the car that he believed to be the button missing from my coat. It's not the missing button, but he was so excited to find it and share it with me that he ran into the house shouting and waving it about. I just love that he remembered that I was bemoaning the fact that I had a missing button, love that he got so excited about finding it and love, love, love that he couldn't wait to give it to me.

[serahrose]

noticing that her smile, at 4, is still the same, and always will be. gleefully intoxicating.