Everything nice

In the comments of Friday's post, Jaycee said:

"When I read comments about how difficult or challenging or frustrating or tiring it is having young children, I feel sad and angry. This is not a judgement. I know I should probably stop reading, but I'm always hoping to read about the joy and bliss and pride and utter euphoria of being a parent. I feel so lucky."

Yeah, I feel sad and angry, too. I wish it was easier for all of us! It seems so unfair and isolating and cruel that we find ourselves in these difficult places, and feel like we're in the bottom of a canyon with no way to climb out (or even knowing we can climb out but it'll be a long hard trip).

I know I appreciate the great moments more because things haven't been perfect and blissful all the time. But I also feel a responsibility to other parents to be honest about how it sucks, sometimes a lot, and how it is also unbelievably wonderful, sometimes a lot.

So, since we shared signposts and frustrations Friday, how about sharing signposts and delights today?

I'll start:

My older son crawled in with me on Sunday morning and we had a discussion about computer hackers, how I'd let him live with me even if he became a computer hacker, our cats, the role of cats in ancient Egypt, and the current challenge he's working on in one of his video games.

Last night my little one crawled on the couch with me and snuggled for a full half hour before getting up and running off. And recently he likes to sing everything he says. Mostly to the tune of The Imperial March from "Star Wars."

What made you thrilled about being a parent recently?

 

Comments

[Shandra]

I woke up Saturday morning to hear my 5-year-old reading out loud to himself in his room. He has just "gotten" reading and that was great, but realizing that's what he was choosing to do on his own was great too. There was some pride involved there.

Later in the day I wrapped presents and he sat doing a craft and we chatted about snow.

Earlier this year our family spent a fair amount of time cycling together (my son on one of those 'third wheel' things that attach to the back of the bike). It was a lot of fun to explore our local trails and beaches together. I would never have made the time sitting down looking in the sand for myself.

I find a lot of joy in our family. But I still find the moments sort of extend themselves after the age of 3.5.

One reason I don't really go on too much about those moments though is that I do feel like there's pressure on WOMEN in particular to be creating this bliss all the time. Sometimes reading other people's happy moments makes me feel like I suck for having let my kid watch Cars for the 213423235 time while I did something else rather than creating opportunities for wildly meaningful engagement.

When really those moments are just given.

[Mom in France]

*Finally* at 3.75 and 18 months I have a moment day when both boys snuggle up with me- sometimes it's to read the little one a book and the larger one drops his toy and joins us or it's in the morning these days when I do the (online) advent calendar with the bigger one and the little guy toddles over to look. No whining, rolling, hitting, fighting jealousy - just the three of us, together.

[Steph]

I know I too often get mired in the drudgery of parenting, so this thread is a great idea.

Yesterday having a football-viewing-marathon with my 7 yr old who has an encyclopedic knowledge of all things NFL. Then when putting him to bed, he asked for a story so I told him about some of my favorite Christmas memories from when I was a little girl which he loved hearing.

With my 3.5 year old, watching her re-enact scenes from her new obsession, the Home Alone movies. Watching her scream, "Kevin" and fall backwards like the mom in Home Alone 2 is priceless.

[Betsy]

In the midst of a truly awful day last week, my toddler ran up to me, gave me a kiss on the cheek and extended his own cheek for a kiss as well. It made me instantly feel better.

[Mogget]

The most recent heart-warming moment was this morning. My DS (5 years old) who had a snow day, told me to "be careful" as I was bundling out the door to work this morning. It just shows that he is growning more aware of things around and is concerned about those around him.

Last night my DD (3 years old) was super snuggly which was really nice because she can be quite prickly sometimes! It was nice to have my little one want to spend some snuggle time with me before she went to bed.

[enu]

New parenthood was mostly hell for me, and if I had had to bullsh*t and say everything was buttercups and sunshine I would prolly have climbed that watertower....

But, as they say on the Interwebz... it gets better. Much, much better.

Delights which may be in your future...? Getting a call from your Mom saying how much she enjoyed your daughter's rehearsal. Calling up Mom to gently tell her she called the wrong person; she meant brother, and brother's talented pianist daughter, who lives near her. Nope! MY daughter. In concert with her college orchestra on the road in GP's city... independantly called her grandparents and invited them to the rehearsal! Such naches, all around.

[Jesse]

I love watching my kids draw. Their creativity, their facial expressions, humming to themselves, tongues wiggling around. It always fills me with warmth.

We all sleep in one bed, which has had ups and downs. But lately, I sink into bed with my husband between them, and we snuggle in for the night. It's been snowing outside, which I see through the window next to our bed. I find myself feeling like I never want this to end, because it is so very good.

[T.]

Recently overheard between 8 y.o. son and 5 y.o. daughter:

Son: Bye! I'm going to basketball practice. Love you!
Daughter: Bye! I love you, too. Have fun!

Still making me smile days later.

[Kim]

Yesterday my fourteen month old son went up and gave my three year old daughter a hug for his first time. Earlier in the day they were sitting next to one another on the floor and my daughter was gently rubbing his back and then I noticed he was rubbing her's right back. The random moments when they play nicely together and are laughing are amazing. Last week my three year old saw Santa in a parade and was overwhelmed with happy. I think one of the best moments ever is when your baby takes their first steps. It's the first time they know how awesome they are and the pure joy expression on their face is priceless. And, toddlers and babies in their winter PJ's are simply adorable, especially when they're sleeping (not only because they ARE sleeping, which is nice, but they look so sweet).

[Alice in Wonderland]

Yesterday, playing in the snow for 2 hours with my 3-year-old. Shovelling the front walk together, and then teaching him how to slide down the snow pile in the driveway, and then making snowmen and a snow train and a snow house and a snow tree and a snow snowplow and a snow airplane (the first being my idea, all the rest being his idea).

[lucybelle]

Frankly my parenting experience has been so wonderfully augmented by Moxie and the Moxites. I don't find the comments sad, but comforting and supportive. We've got it good with one wonderful 3.5 yo boy. I know there are loads of parents with much tougher rows to hoe, but I find this community simply inspiring.

My wee one gives me multiple wonderful parenting moments daily (of course along with the usual hair-tearers...) 6 months ago this wasn't the case, we hit a bad patch and i wondered if I would come out the other side even liking my son; but just as Moxie said, those bad patches in hindsight help me to appreciate the wonderful times that much more.

Thanks to all of you for every post. The community makes this blog the best I have ever found.

[Andrea]

We bought a racetrack to go around our tree this weekend - DH and I both had one as kids. A bit more interactive than a train. So we tinkered with that and DD who is 1.5 years old enjoyed that. It has some piece that are like large legos which she put together and she likes the cars too. Great for a snowy weekend.

As I was putting her to bed last night she asked for "Tinkle" one more time which means "Twinkle Little Star". So cute and funny.

There are many more. I in no way create these "bliss" moments. They just happen. And yes, they are completely interspersed with things that make me cringe (like DD insisting on putting her muddy boots on the back of the car seat and throwing a temper tantrum when I tell her she can't). And not everything is perfect, but it's life and it's mine.

[Kate]

Having OTHER people tell me that my daughter is delightful, creative, talented, special, etc. Dh and I (esp me) get the brunt of her crap. Nobody else sees the fits she throws every time we ask her to straighten her bookshelf or empty the bathroom trash...but since the beginning of the school year many other adults (over and above her classroom teacher) have stopped me to tell me what a treasure she is.

And the other day my 4 yo answered the phone, was delighted to hear it was his grandmother, and chirped (unprompted), "Savta, how are you feeling? Is your back better?" (She had hurt it a few days before.) I nearly died of cute (so did she)--and pride, because that kind of proved to me that we are succeeding more than failing at the whole gig. With him, anyway.

[OneLittleMonster]

The smile on my 13 month old's face (and the squeals of delight) as I climb into the car after a long day at work washes all the stress of my day away. Yes, this last year was incredibly difficult but he's worth it and it's the little moments that make me so thankful to have him in my life and so proud I *get* to be his Mommy. I can't wait to do it all over again :)

[Donna]

My daughter insisting on cleaning and bandaging my very little cut with so much care and love yesterday. Putting the paper plate ornament she made in preschool on top of the tree. Her sweet/proud face as she handed me the ornament she made--with a cute pic of her. The family snuggling on the couch watching a Charlie Brown Christmas DVD. Reading books while snuggled in front of the Christmas tree. She and her dog chasing each other like nuts through the fresh snow. All this sprinkled into some very tough behavior days--she has sleep apnea and we're all overdue for a good sleep. Preparing for tonsil/adenoid surgery...hoping it helps make more of these sparkling moments.

[Brooke]

My kids have started play hide and seek. The two year old will count (uh uh uh uh) and then the four year old will yell, "Ready or not, here you come!" And he'll run off to find her. It is very charming. He never hides because he'll run out to her instead of staying hidden.

So, yes, charming, but you can find cute kid stories anywhere on the internet.

[Globe trottin' mama]

on saturday, i was sitting on the couch not engaged with her. she was sitting on the other side of the couch with her dad being goofy. out of the middle of nowhere, she stops what she's doing, crawls over to me, and gives me a HUGE bear hug and says, "i love you, mama. i got you!" ummm, hello?!?! heart melt, heart melt! i mean, and she's totally got that 23-month old toddler adorable voice. so cute! i just kind of melted right there and held back the tears. she's never given me an unsolicited i love you before.

i swear i'll remember this uber sweet moment for the rest of my life!

[E2]

My 2-1/2 year old was really sick all day Saturday. That miserable kind of sick where she just wants to curl up on me and sleep all day. After a full day of that, Saturday night I was putting the 5-month old to bed. I told my older, "E is going to bed, say goodnight" and she suggested hugs & kisses. I said ok to the hug but told her to kiss E's forehead to minimize germ spreading. C kissed E's forehead and E erupted in the most adorable laughter I've ever heard. It warmed my heart! C thought it was great and kissed again. E erupted into laughter again. I called for Dad to come watch and it happened a 3rd time. After a miserable day of wondering why I wanted kids, all that doubt melted away to sheer happiness watching my 2 daughters love each other so much.

[Janice F.]

My son's first sentence was "Mama milk yummy! Mmmm!"

[Bee]

4 year old son doing his 'ballet' to cheesy Christmas music, completely unselfconscious.

Yes there are lovely times but I need to know I am not the only one who finds parenting/life in general er 'challenging' a lot of the time.

[Heather]

We are in day 4 of a flu related Dora The Explorer Marathon.

Shortstack is cuddled next to me and he comes up nose to nose with me, strokes my face and whipers, "Dora needs to take a picture of Swiper the Fox".

[seadragon]

"And recently he likes to sing everything he says. Mostly to the tune of The Imperial March from "Star Wars.""

This is HILARIOUS.

I would guess that most of the time you probably just respond to the content of what he's saying without even thinking about how ridiculous and funny it is. I love it.

[ML]

My son, who is almost 4 and sometimes exasperating in a way that 3.5/4 year olds often are, did an act of kindness that I didn't expect. We were visiting with his cousin, who is 3 months older and much more intense (ie: prone to tantrums and less able to deal with disappointment). When we were getting into the car to go home, I handed my son the cheap dragonfly toy he'd received that morning from a birthday party. When the other boy saw the toy, he started to wail that he wanted it (and his mother tried to placate him by suggesting he might receive one for Xmas). Then my son gave him the toy in a matter-of-fact kind of way, and was thanked profusely by his aunt and cousin. His spontaneous generosity was as surprising (and not surprising at the same time) as it was touching.

[Erin]

I have to say for me it's not one cute phrase or action (though my 2.5 year old is FULL of those, especially his recent love of singing and how in church on Sunday he repeated every 5th word the priest said during the sermon!) - it's watching his face light up when he's happy or excited about something. That is the *best* feeling as a parent, and makes every bit of sacrifice and energy it takes to make his face light up worthwhile. As for the baby, he has this delightful habit of wrapping his arms around my neck when I pick him up as though he's hugging me. He digs his little fat hands into my hair and just hangs on for dear life. (He's 6 months.) It makes me feel so good!

Also I know I lot of women struggle with breastfeeding so I totally get it is not all puppies and sunshine (or even mostly for some), but for me it has been pure bliss, especially the second time around.

[heather]

I made sugar cookies with my 2 yr. old daughter last night. She was in charge of the sugaring. I put the ball of dough in her hand, she tossed it in the cup of (red) sugar and wiggled and wiggled until the dough was completely coated. She did this 24 times. Brilliant!

[Erin]

Oh, and, Moxie, you are so right about having a responsibility to tell mothers about the dark times as well as the bright. As others have already said, the world is full of "bright happy shiny" motherhood messages for women, which makes honesty about the other times more important. I was at a party this weekend where a woman was commenting how she tells every pregnant woman she meets "You WILL want to throw your baby out the window." Her (college aged) daughter was horrified, but the woman held her ground, commenting that there was a "conspiracy of silence" around mothering, and she thought everyone deserved to know that how they felt was *normal* and they were not bad parents! Her daughter is so lucky to have a mother so full of wisdom. (In contract my mother is always telling me delightful gems about how 1) I slept through the night at 2 weeks old; 2) we never fussed or whined or threw tantrums; and 3) she was never frustrated with us. She always tells me the last one when I've had an outburst of frustration at one of the children.)

[Olivia]

I get bummed, too, when it seems like all I'm reading is about the drudgery of parenting, so I really like the idea of this thread.

Highlights for me are when my 20 month old does her fake, maniacal laugh when she's doing something she thinks should be funny. She sounds like Renfield and it cracks me up everytime. Also, her "conversations" and her delight with everything around her when she wakes up in the morning. It's like she seriously surpised and happy that the pets are still here everyday.

[Jennifer]

My strong-willed daughter, 3 years and 9 months old, finally started using the potty this weekend! Major victory!

Also, my 17 month old is hilarious right now. She's talking up a storm and watching her personality emerge is such a joy!

[blue]

As many of you have already articulated very well, this really is a place where we can shed the "smile" of parenting once in a while. It's a breath of fresh air. I love how validating it feels to read everyone's thoughts on this site, whether positive, negative or vacillating between the two.

On the other hand, I also appreciate where Jaycee's post comes from. Everyone is different. For me, it's not all sunshine and light. I believe we demonstrate our love of parenting so much more truthfully when we can talk about how much we adore our children even wIthin the context of how raw and real and sometimes just plain hard this gig is. Did that make any sense?

My delights:

Last week my six year old said, "Mom, you're my best friend."

Yesterday, my 2 year old son sneaked up on his napping father, putting a tiny pumpkin on top of dad's head and said, "Pumpkin Head!" with a giggle.

When my son sings, "Somewhere over the rainbow" in his broken baby talk.

When little boy asks his sister to read to him and she wants nothing more than to snuggle up on the couch with 15 board books and read to him.

When my toddler son say "good morning" to his sister every morning before either one knows I'm awake.

When my daughter sings to her brother when he has trouble falling asleep.

Anytime they look at me and ask for a hug. They don't need to know I need it just as much as they do.

[Amanda]

My five-month-old daughter has recently started trying to give us kisses. Whether this is deliberate or not, I don't know, but when she lunges forward and plants her mouth on my face it makes my shriveled little heart grow ten sizes. And then we giggle together while I wipe off all that baby slobber.

[Lisa F.]

We decorated our tree Sunday, and while we'd had a very stressful weekend & I'm very burnt out, I was able to get into it, and enjoy our family time, and DS's joy. Then we watched Mary Poppins together!

Watching him work on his version of Jack & the Beanstalk. He is learning to write & read, loves writing. To see him sit down on his own & self direct this project, and deal with correcting mistakes gives me hope. and also makes me aware that he's in the midst of major developmental stuff which is contributing to our stress. which helps me feel more hopeful.

I agree about the "conspiracy of silence" around parenting...it's like noone wants to make themselves vulnerable by admitting to the dark times, and hence we get isolated which makes them darker. Thankfully I had an older mother speak a small amount of truth during my pregnancy and I'll always be grateful for that nugget of reality.

[SarcastiCarrie]

My shy 5-year old decided to hand Santa a letter he wrote himself so that he wouldn't have to speak to him. All of our coping strategies are paying off (and the letter was adorable). I got the letter back from Santa afterward and I am so putting it in the hidden place in the baby book.

My two-year old says "needs new batteries" whenever something is broken (even if it's an apple) or "got new batteries" whenever something is awesome (like tickle cuddles). It's quite charming.

[Lynn]

This morning my eight year old daughter surprised me by packing her own lunch and her brother's and the best part is that she included very healthy items.

[Kathy B]

the fact that my 30-year-old still calls me for advice. (I can't believe my baby turned 30 yesterday!)

[Maxzmama]

Last night, as my 4.5 year old son got ready for his bath, he grabbed the jingle bells decoration and ran around the house singing, "jingle bells, jingles bells, naked all the way!". and this morning, he was looking for three new tree decorations that came from Israel and are wood carvings of the nativity, he called out, "Hey, where are those Jesus ornaments?" He makes me laugh so much. It's a survival tactic for him. His imagination and love of stories is also something I cherish. From the moment he work up today until we opened the car door at daycare, we told "whisper stories" which are made up stories by me based on his plot ideas. Thanks for posting this today - I needed to remind myself of this good stuff

[Cathy]

There are the moments when everyone is playing together nicely. Or the belly laughs. But then there's also the occasional evidence that they're really growing up.

The newly 8 year old got her hair cut a few weeks ago, and I let her tell the stylist what she wanted, went back for the shampoo, and chit-chatted with the stylist while she did the hair cut. I sat in the chair at the store entry way, and sort of eaves dropped on her conversation with the stylist. It was amazing - I have no idea why it was startling, other than I don't get to see it very often, but it struck me how grown up she was getting.

The soon-to-be 17 year old, too. Out in public, when you ask him nicely to do something, he will generally do the job that you ask him to do. (Things like can you show him where this is? Or could you help me carry that? Or please run the leftovers back to the car.)

The three year old is telling knock-knock jokes. They kill me. She only knows about three, and she frequenly skips ahead to the punchline, but it's just really neat to see.

[Annika]

This morning, the baby slept later than the rest of us. (That alone is cause for celebration!) When Sam woke up, he and I came out to the living room where his dad was making coffee. The three of us got to hang out for a while, which is rare. We had the monitor on, and when Grace stirred Sam heard her first. He shouted in excitement, ran to the bedroom, and kicked the door open. She sat up in bed and pointed at him. The two of them played on the bed for a good five minutes before we all got up again.

[Casey]

Yesterday, I was sitting with my 5 year old, and he turned and looked at me and said, "Hey, Mom. Gimme a hug!"

[crescentgirl]

- Hearing my boys sing, anything, really, but Backyardigans theme cracks me up along with a dopey "it's a wonderful of wonderful day" from JJ the Jet Plane ...
- When my 3 yo insists on walking on the street-side of you on the sidewalk "because a car might come and moosh you." He came up with this on his own (though it was always DH's and my practice to be on the mooshable side.)
- When my esp moody right now 7yo said this am, "No matter what I get at Christmas, Mom, I'll be happy with it."

[M]

I'm a new parent, so I know I have a lot to learn, but like Jaycee, I, too, am sometimes overwhelmed by the negativity generated by parents who try to break the "conspiracy of silence" Erin mentions above.

I guess I feel that while the media generates a mythic and unachievable ideal of motherhood (a myth that of course needs to be actively debunked), my friends, acquaintances, and many strangers constantly remind me (and began reminding me, as soon as I became obviously pregnant) how hard it is, how little sleep I will have, how my former footloose-and-fancy-free life is gone forever.

At a recent dinner-date with a couple about to have their first baby, the Mom talked about how guilty she felt because she just wanted the baby Out Already! Meanwhile, everyone she knew warned her to enjoy life now before it descended into the seventh circle of hell. I found myself (myself! A woman who has spent nights [sometimes weeks of nights] contemplating bashing my head through a window for want of sleep) telling her that despite all the horror stories she has heard, being a parent is pretty fun.

It's pretty fun when your baby achieves his tiny little milestones, when he screeches out of happiness, rests his head on your shoulder, of looks at you mischievously while destroying another part of the house (that last one is also annoying). It's pretty fun to receive any indication at all that the child on and for whom you expend so much might actually be on his (slow, meandering, more-or-less sleepless) way to becoming a real child (and then maybe, much, much later, a real person).

Her husband later thanked me and told me that it was good to hear someone say that being a parent, while it can and will suck, can--at the same time--be pretty okay.

And I guess that's what this post prompts for me: in between the extremes of the media's Ideal Motherhood and the workaday Parent's actual experience, there is a medium on which the bad and the good co-exist (as blue articulates above).

Oh dear, this is long and getting longer! Thanks, Moxie and everyone, for the chance to reflect.

[MLB]

1. Just-turned 3 year old sat still at the cake shop while I ordered baby shower cake for a friend. Was excellent listener. Gives me hope for the future.

2. 4.5 year old greeted me this morning with "Hello Beautiful!"

3. 7 year old tried to clean up dog mess on her own to be helpful rather than just getting me to do it.

I feel extremely lucky.

[the milliner]

DS (2.5) decorated his first Xmas tree yesterday. Naturally he hung all 12 nutcracker ornaments together on top of each other at the bottom of the tree. I was about to grab my camera to snap a photo when he went back to the tree saying 'away, away'! Oh no! Missed my Kodak moment while trying to explain that we LEAVE the decorations on the tree, unlike our toys which we put away when we're finished with them. I was simultaneously a little sad that I missed the moment photo-wise but also happy that he seems to have this 'away' thing ingrained in him. :)

I finally gave up and gave him the boxes to put the ornaments away. But of course, he surprised me by wanting to play the game again and put them on the tree again. Happily, I had the presence of mind to ask DH to video it.

I was so impressed with how helpful DS was in unwrapping the ornaments and in generally taking care when taking them out of the tissue. Really fun afternoon. He's really turning into a little boy and it's fun to be able to share moments like this.

[Charisse]

I think I love most the moments when I see Mouse excited about learning something new. Recently, she's discovered indexes in books and she's just fascinated by them - she was freaking out over my cookbooks all weekend. Adorable. And when she's proud of something and wants to show me...and when she insists she needs a cuddle at bedtime even though she's a big girl. I don't think there's a real conflict - it's awful and fantastic most days, and the fantastic is getting to be a higher proportion as the kiddo gets older.

I think I felt a lot like Jaycee and M about childbirth - there were the dewy-eyed people who said everything could be perfect, but they didn't annoy me nearly as much as the ones who grabbed me in the elevator and said IT'S TORTURE, you have to get an epidural. I kept thinking but what if it's ok for me? So yeah, I hear you - but I don't mind talking about the rough bits. I think it's healthy.

One of the wisest things anybody said to me about parenthood was that it's harder than you can imagine, but it's also WAY better than you can imagine. I'll stick to that.

[libbyllama]

Oh, how these posts have made me laugh. So cute, all these little people!

Yesterday, my 3yo DS told me, "Mommy, I like your dress! I like it because it's yellow." So charming and adorable!

[Sarah]

I think part of the reason there are negative comments here is twofold. First, Moxie has made such a safe (I accidentally typed sage, and I think that's accurate too) place for us that we feel comfortable sharing the ugly bits of parenting.

Second, we rarely go looking for help or advice when things are going well. It's when you're drinking coffee straight from the pot forgoing the mug or cackling with glee as your drop your kid off at daycare that you start to second-guess yourself and come looking for advice and commiseration.

As for the delightful bits, my 5-month-old daughter's smile as she wakes up and looks over at me in the morning. My 3-year-old's imagination which is going wild right now. I love listening to the discussions that his trains and other toys have with each other.

One final thing, there is payback. My mother gleefully laughed as I recounted lugging my son out of church as he was shrieking "no." Apparently, I was lugged out of church approximately 50 Sundays in a row. Oh, and my dad was the pastor.

[Nancy]

watching our girls enjoy Christmas decorations, festivities and excitement this year has been priceless!

In a moment of sheer bliss yesterday, the girls glommed onto me, rubbed my fuzzy fleece nightgown on their cheeks and chanted "Fuzzy Wazzy" over and over again (they love that little song) -- too cute!

[CG]

The last 24 hours have exemplified both the best and the worst parts of being a parent.

The worst? Up all night with a barfing 4-year-old, who woke up the baby with his screaming. Baby wouldn't go back to sleep until 1:45am. 4-year-old was up every hour until 5:30.

The best? The baby learned to say "uh oh" yesterday (and wanted to practice, which was why he didn't want to sleep). So cute. And he's starting to cruise a little, and is SO pleased with himself.

I REALLY love the statement above--"it's harder than you can imagine, but it's also WAY better than you can imagine." That seems to me a happy medium between "parenting sucks" (which is partly true but isn't the whole story) and "parenting is amazingly wonderful" (also true, but not the whole story either).

[Barb @ getupandplay]

It's great to have a forum for support when things are crappy but I'm so happy for the reminder to remember and look for the joy.

My toddler's burgeoning vocabulary makes me happy! I love his learning to give "soft hugs" (instead of enthusiastic head butts), playing "chase" with him, and thinking about how fun our Christmas morning (just the three of us this year) will be.

Like many of the previous commenters have said, the lows can be so lonely, isolated, and discouraging, but the highs are enough to make your heart burst open like the Grinch at the end of the movie.

[Charity]

This morning, both of my baby girls (three months, 2 months adjusted) smiled at me at the same time!

When we're going to sleep, my toddler puts her hands on my face for comfort.

Both of these things give me all sorts of warm fuzzies.

[kimu]

My 9 month old has started saying Mama and I think he mostly means me when he says it. He laughs all the time, at the smallest things (like fake sneezing or when I lift my eyebrow at him a certain way). He loves to snuggle. Watching him try new foods is the funniest thing in the universe - even if it's something that he ends up loving, his first taste is always this alarmed, shocked look like "Why would you think THIS is food?!?" and then you can see him thinking about it for a minute and decided "Hey, that was pretty darn good! More?". Before I had him I thought I'd dislike nursing, but I love it and how connected I feel to him.