Today's plan

So one of the enormous problems with the Haiti rescue efforts right now is, not surprisingly, US government policy. We're not letting in necessary airdrops of supplies like water, food, clothes, etc.

I don't know what anyone outside of the US can do about this, but those of us who live in the US can put pressure on the government to lift the restrictions so the aid organizations to which we've been sending money can actually get the supplies to the people who need them.

Go to this page http://salsa.democracyinaction.org/o/1439/p/dia/action/public/?action_KEY=2065 and use it to send emails to your representatives, but DON'T STOP THERE. Call the numbers listed for your reps and ask them to "press the Obama Administration to lift military restrictions preventing aid groups from bringing aid into Haiti and to expand airdrops of water, water purification tablets, and food."

THEN, call the White House switchboard at 202-456-1414 and ask them to "lift military restrictions preventing aid groups from bringing aid into Haiti and to expand airdrops of water, water purification tablets, and food."

Doing all these steps (sending three emails through that site and making four calls--one to each senator, one to your congressperson, and one to the White House) should take you maybe 15 minutes.

THEN, email, tweet, FB supdate, text, etc. all your friends and ask them to do the same thing.

It's criminal that the help is there and our government isn't letting it in. If we bang on the door hard enough they have to let us in, so spread the word and get mad.

Comments

[crescentgirl]

I guess I'm curious about the military restrictions - is it in an effort to coordinate relief, or make sure only real relief gets in (as opposed to charlatans), or what, do you guys think?

Thanks, Moxie, for the directions on how to pressure Washington!!

[CaliBoo]

I don't know about this, Mox. I understand anger and frustration at not being able to bring in help, but this is one of those things where you don't know unless you're there. My gut feeling is that air traffic is being very tightly controlled to maintain the safety of Haitians as well as aid workers. The last thing anyone needs right now is to have to go try to rescue someone if an airdrop goes wrong.
That being said, I do think our gov't approach to Haiti does need to change, but more of a long-term approach to how we deal with immigration and trade.

[SarcastiCarrie]

I have heard that a lot of the restrictions are to keep order and safety, especially in an urban area. In rural areas it is generlaly safe to air drop supplies but in an urban area, it's hard to find a drop zone and the arrival can often cause rioting if there is no one on the ground to coordinate distribution.

When I read the article at the link, I am confused because they don't seem to be talking about airdropping (dropping things from a helicopter into areas that are inaccessible by land), but rather runway control at the airport.

From what I have read, it is a small airport unaccustomed to the volume of traffic it is now seeing. I've also heard that there is not a lot of room on the ground for the planes to unload once they do land. There aren't many taxiways and parking places for the planes, so they need to get in, unload, and get out, or it prevents other planes from being able to land. Also, there is not much in the way of refueling capacity, so planes that are being let in are asked to arrive with enough fuel to get back out. I'm pretty sure the restrictions on the airport are there to maintain order. If you let planes land and have no where to put them, they wind up sitting on the runway preventing other planes from landing. It's a no-win situation as is so much of this. I think ferrying supplies to Haiti via helicopter from cargo ships offshoure (who cannot unload in the port because it is too badly damaged) would be the way (albeit expensive and capital intensive).

[anastasiav]

Moxie, you might want to read this from Anderson Cooper's website:
http://edition.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/americas/01/21/haiti.earthquake/index.html?hpt=T1

"Lt. Gen. P.K. Keen, the head of the U.S. military task force in Haiti, said any aircraft identified as carrying medical supplies have priority for landing. They are turned away only "if there's no parking space on the ramp and they don't have sufficient fuel to hold in their holding pattern," he said."

The airport there is very small, and was damaged. I understand the frustration, though.

[Jane]

I also find the immediate blame on "US governmental policy" to be ill-informed. Do you really think the US government's goal is to block humanitarian aid? From what I understand, the airport is simply overloaded. If they turn away a plane, it is because they don't have the space. I see how that would frustrate aid workers eager to help, but you have to remember that those complaining and blaming the US military might not understand how difficult it is right now to move things around. There was, after all, a massive earthquake that destroyed what infrastructure they already had. Can you imagine how much worse this could have been if the airport had been destroyed? Or if the US military hadn't taken control of the air space?

[Slim]

Good link, ananstasia -- I'd heard a little about the problems at the airport on NPR a few days ago; it's good to know what sort of progress is being made.

Those of us who were put off by the "not surprisingly" and who don't think the problem is policy, but engineering/physics, might want to use this time to research the What Next? part of helping Haiti. How do we help provide safer buildings, better education, and some sort of economic security for Haitians (and other people, because this was not the last natural disaster that's ever going to happen)?

[Patricia]

I share the impotence and frustration seeing all the pain and suffering in Haiti, but let's just not forget that 1) we are not there, and it's very easy to be an armchair critic - from afar it always seems so easy to do things better or find one person/entity to blame; 2)the conditions are unimaginable, and infrastructure is lacking - what little there was to begin with has been totally destroyed. I can only imagine how hard it must be to operate under those circumstances.
To quote the news piece on CNN: "the priorities for aid flights are set "by the government of Haiti first and then by the U.N. second." But the number of flights that can land at Port-au-Prince is "a sheer issue of physics and geometry; you just can't get them all in there."

[Jessica Star]

I also wish there was a better way to get them food and supplies besides dropping it on them. I don't know the first thing about the process, so maybe that's the only way. But still...

[Stephanie (no longer in PR)]

Yeah, I don't know about this. I know I am biased, since my husband is in the Army and all, but I have to trust that the members of the US military are doing everything safely allowable to get supplies in to Haiti. I think I hear that the runway is now operating at almost 3x the capacity it was before the earthquake and supplies are being both dropped in and sent in by helicopter.

[Stephanie (no longer in PR)]

@Jessica, I heard on NPR yesterday that the Secretary of Defense had originally rejected the idea of dropping in supplies as too dangerous, but changed his mind yesterday due to food/water/medical supply shortages. But they did say that the drops they are doing are very controlled and they are working very hard to drop on in safe spaces.

[Anon]

Moxie...I usually love your posts but you're off-base here. WAY off-base. I'm not a fan of the US military but they do an amazing job of bringing in relief supplies but it takes time to get over there.

Please note that the US military had to take control of the Haitian airport to get it re-opened. The only pier in Haiti was completely destroyed in the earthquake as well and no ships (the most economical method of getting in large amounts of supplies) could dock. The US military just got ANOTHER dock opened today. http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/americas/01/21/haiti.earthquake/index.html?hpt=T1

To add to that, airdrops of supplies is a poor way of handling things since mobs will riot and will attack those with food/water/supplies. Also crushing those folks that you're trying to save is generally viewed as a bad idea. The US military is doing an incredible job and deserve incredible admiration.

[epeepunk]

Having developed software for the Airlift Mobility Command in a previous life, I have some understanding of the nature of the job they are trying to do. These guys are professionals and extremely competent. They run air strips in the middle of nowhere for months at a time, and if they are saying that they can't take a plane, I believe them. I don't think it's US policy running that, it's the controllers on the ground. If it were all AMC flights they might be getting a few more in, but they may be dealing with a mixture of military and civilian pilots of widely varying training.

And if they did have to air drop the shipments, the AMC guys can pack it so that the eggs won't break.

(One of our consultants was a retired general from AMC back when it was MAC, and he had a video from a local news station of one of his missions resupplying the Antarctic bases. Very cool. His only complaint, as a pilot, is that they spent too much time talking to the loadmasters.)

[Geek in Rome]

The other problem with air drops (and why many aid groups oppose them) is that the goods get taken by the quick, the strong and the aggressive.

Proper (though excrutiatingly slow) and managed distribution by agencies who have already surveyed who the people in need are gurantees the old, the weak, infirm, injured, and the young get their fair share and not just the bullies or the black marketers.

On a good note, things are getting thru though the medical situation is still dire.

I was amazed to learn today a 15-day-old baby was found alive after 7 days (?) under the rubble. I had no idea newborns could be so resilient!

[SarcastiCarrie]

@Geek in Rome - I want a link to an article about a baby who has spent half of its life trapped and lives. It would be something to give to a new mother who worries she isn't doing something right or worries when breastfeeding isn't going quite right. Babies are resilient.

[hush]

This is awkward. I'm with Anon @3:23pm. I know you meant well Moxie, but as the saying goes "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." Your message is always strongest when your tone is a little more muted, and your assertions are shored up by empirical fact.

You're still my enduring girl crush though.

[corrie]

There is an interesting commentary about this topic on Slate at http://www.slate.com/id/2242078/ It suggests the US strategy of "Command and Control" is hindering aid distribution. Hopefully, as security is largely in place, we can move to a focus more on distribution.

[Raia]

I think it's very, very easy to sit on our computers and second-guess the relief operation. I don't believe for a minute that the US gov has gotten it all right -- how on earth could it? How can anyone possibly attempt to manage a tragedy of this magnitude without error, even enormous errors that seem blindingly obvious a short time later. Perhaps the focus on security was racist and shortsighted (as the Slate article suggests), but who knows what would have happened if supplies had simply been dropped on day 1...would we now be talking about how of course the US needed to secure first so as to ensure that those who needed the help the most received it first? I think it's obvious that we (around the world, including but not limited to the US) are doing our absolute best, and while surely making mistakes but also saving an enormous number of lives and hopefully learning from these mistakes so that the next crisis management will be better.

[Catherine]

I have to agree with the general sense of the comments thus far: it's so easy to leap to an Ugly American interpretation when a situation involving the U.S. -- especially its military -- and a third-world country crops up. I also don't rule out the possibility that our government and military could have handled the situation better.

A former co-worker of mine is now in Haiti doing missionary and relief work in Jacmel. He was a web developer in his former career. Now, Jacmel is nowhere near as large as Port-au-Prince, but in Jacmel, he and a handful of his fellow missionaries are RUNNING THE AIRPORT. As in, doing air-traffic control and everything. Here's their blog post from Monday of this week describing their situation: http://www.mangine.org/2010/01/todays-plan-monday.html (Warning: there's some pretty heavy evangelical Christian rhetoric elsewhere on the blog.) So, yeah, if they're having trouble landing as many planes as are available, I'm inclined to believe that those troubles are inescapable.

[Beth]

Another Moxie fan here who has to agree with the tone of the previous comments. As someone who has spent a lot of time in some of the least developed countries in sub-Saharan Africa, I know that on the ground things are SO MUCH more complicated than they appear from a distance. Admittedly, I did more development than relief. But if it is complicated when a very poor country is in a development phase, how much more so when they are in a post-crisis relief stage? Anyway, I'm sure there are plenty of mistakes being made by the governments and NGOs involved in the relief but as someone else said, how could there not be?

Try and imagine the most complex, ravaged, crazy situation you can. Then multiply it by 10. Then realize that you (and me) are still miles away from understanding how complex things actually are on the ground.

[Nancy]

I agree with Moxie! People need help NOW. We should be doing whatever we can. How can Sanjay Gupta be there, and Anderson Cooper, but relief supplies take so long to get in. Something is strange, and we have a bad history with Haiti, so I think being suspicious is reasonable.

[Lisa]

Sanjay Gupta and Anderson Cooper are two people. They have a camera person a piece and maybe one producer. So six people max. So to say "How are they there when relief supplies are not?" is frankly a little naive.

The airport is in shambles. The seaport is demolished. Like a pp said above, air drops tend to only benefit the strong and the agile, not the weak and sick. The world is doing the BEST IT CAN. And for us to sit here and armchair quarterback a situation we cannot possibly even FATHOM is stupid.

[Wilhelmina]

Before the quake struck Haiti had one small airport, which was not used for goods on any scale. A small airport.For people and the odd package.

Goods leaving the country and goods coming in came by ship into the harbour and were unloaded on the docks. That wasn't a modern container port by any means.

I live in London Docklands where the museum shows photos of the hundreds of men needed to unload big ships before containerisation. And the docks moving higher up the Thames.

Even if those docks were working at top capacity they wouldn't be able to deal with goods very fast.

The earthquake has devastated the harbour and the docks.

A small airport hasn't got the big lifting equipment and vehicles required to unload a big plane full of heavy equipment and supplies.

It hasn't got big facilities for refueling planes either.
That is so even if not hit by an earthquake.

Haiti had no road system. The whole country had two fire-stations. It has no trains.
Without an earthquake it would be hard to moves lots of things all over.

Haiti was the so-called " Pearl Of the Caribbean", Saint Domingue, a vicious French colony producing sugar and coffee to give tremendous riches, but using up 50,000 slaves a year as they died so horribly and so young.

Haiti is on a fault line, and in a hurricane alley. The hurricane of 2008 caused much devastation and filled orphanages with children. Before the quake hit.

The French intensive agriculture started the deforestation, which has carried on until Haiti is now 98% deforested.

Haiti is the only republic founded by slaves who freed themselves. That said they had to buy their freedom for twice as much as France sold Louisiana to the US for. Those repayments took until 1947.

Not everything that is wrong with Haiti is due to French colonialism by any means, but it accounts for a very great deal.

The Dominican Republic shares Hispaniola island, and Cuba is nearby.

Neither are rolling in money, but both have buildings to deal with earthquakes and hurricanes, and both have road systems and organised responses to disasters.

Haiti had none of that. It means disasters hit harder than any of us can imagine.

This isn't a television show, sadly not. We can't send big planes full of the things people so desperately need if there is no way of safely landing those planes and unloading them. We can't drop down from the sky everything the people desperately need.

Haiti is fortunate to be near the US comparatively so the US could mount this enormous rescue operation. British newspapers have always said that, from the beginning.I agree with that, absolutely.

The huge international effort is remarkable and a wonderful thing, it's amazing to see teams from all over the world work to dig people out.But it needs the US to make it all work and hold things together.

It remains a fact that one of the poorest nations on earth, and one of with the worst societies in terms of organisation was hit by an appalling earthquake which destroyed the only docks and the only roads.

I do absolutely believe that the military and other personnel are doing the best they humanly can to keep the airport working. It is reported here that work is ongoing to open two more airports, one in Haiti and one in the Dominican Republic.

My opinion is that the best thing any of us can do for Haiti is to help it out for the long term.

The long long term. Because Haiti will have many, many amputees who will need aftercare and prosthetics.None of which Haiti has.

It will need help with the many children left helpless.

It will need new buildings, homes and hospitals that can withstand earthquakes better.

It will need the docks rebuilding and improving.

It will need everything for a very long time to come.

There sadly is a limit to how much help can be given in this immediate period of the aftermath of the quake. But I truly believe that all the help that can be given is given.

But there is no limit on what we can be done after, over time, by our governments and by ourselves
for as long as it takes.

I believe military restrictions are needed and right. To me it is remarkable that so many planes are landing and so much help is on the ground in Haiti considering the circumstances. I admire the US military enormously for its role.

My good friend travelled to Haiti on behalf of a charity in 2005. She was amazed at how primitive the airport was. The first plane with aid into the airport took 6 hours to unload. They're obviously being unloaded far faster now.

Chaos at the airport would set the relief effort back a lot, and I can't see how you can avoid chaos if planes are landing and unloading without there being a controlled environment.

I agree it is painful to see the need and realise the limitations.
Incredibly so. But they're not of the making of the US military.

[sarah]

Can I ask what the point of this site is anymore? It used to be a Q&A for parents looking for advice, and now it provides that service about once every two weeks, maybe.

[Slim]

Sarah, the site goes through various shifts according to the readers' and Moxie's needs.

Everyone else, there's a MSF discussion from noon to 1 today (as in, right now):

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/haiti/helping-haiti/article1439247/

[Amara]

Nancy,
Relief supplies are getting in and have been. The issue is that sufficient quantities have not been able to get in. Comparing 6 people entering the country to thousands of tons of shipment is ludicrous. There are 11 THOUSAND American military personnel over there besides military folks from other countries and aid workers from the world over. .Haiti does not need just relief supplies but competent medical teams to use the supplies and competent administration to set up points to distribute aid and competent construction engineers/workers to BUILD infrastructure. It is a HUGE logistics nightmare.

Guess what? It takes time to get the right people and right supplies (in sufficient quantities) over there. The airport has had to turn away 1500 planes because of lack of capacity.. Contrary to most 1 strip runways, there isn't even space for planes to get off the runway and park without impacting other planes. Take the hospital ship, it wasn't fully stocked and sitting at Haiti. It takes time to get over there but it has already turned into a huge help.

I'm frankly shocked and disgusted by this response. I guess that Moxie and Nancy have overlooked the fact that the US *MILITARY* had to assume control of the airport, build a port, build roads and also negotiate with the Dominican Republic to get supplies in. The truth is that the necessary expertise (in quantity) did not exist in Haiti and the death toll would be significantly higher without this. Unfortunately, this isn't a perfect world and we can't save everyone. But way to blame those folks who are actually helping.

[anon]

Wow a little too rah rah US. Maybe viewing/reading some impartial reports are warranted. Anderson Cooper??? Please, how is he impartial?? MSF is one of the groups making this claim. MSF is a long standing organization -politically aware but politically neutral. They have been present and are present in many disaster areas as well as politically unstable areas of the world and have called out the American government on many issues. It is not enough that being American=saving the world, because frankly that image is in your heads. I think the point should be that there is red tape up at the expense of HUMANS. I don't see anything wrong with calling on your elected officials and asking them to be accountable for their actions!!

[Rudyinparis]

O-kaaay. We got us some intelligent women here. But we knew that already, right?

Hey, I need some advice. Eldest occasionally comes home from school with some small item (a chapstick, a book, obviously used, a small pair of gloves—not expensive) She tells me she “won” them, as in, from the teacher, or her school. This is obviously a lie, or we can call it a fib. What should I do? I’ve pressed here on it, and she sticks to her story. I think kids often give their things to others… I know last year she was handing out dimes on the school bus for awhile (we told her to stop)… Do you think that’s what’s going on? Of course, my fear is that she’s *stealing* things, which while you all don’t know her character, I do feel that’s unlikely. Should I talk to her teacher? Ask her better questions? Is this an issue?

*I in no way mean to imply that relief in Haiti is not a worthy topic, but I hate to see the convo go downhill.

[Anon]

I'm with Sarah. I've shared this website with a lot of moms, telling them it's a great, practical place for baby and child-related questions. But it seems lately it's all been drama...

I guess I'm a reader with different needs.

[Nancy]

Yeah, I was just trying to let Moxie know that she has support.

Anyway, can anyone give us advice on potty training our 3+ 3 month year old? I mean, he's a boy, and he can use the potty, he just never wants to. I guess we just wait? We bring it up, he thinks it's fun when I pee, but that's about it. I'm not worried exactly I just don't know where the next progress point will be.

[Slim]

2:18 -- I donate to MSF. I am reading their reports. But "Planes with needed supplies have been diverted" is not the same as "Planes with needed supplies have been diverted on the whim of the U.S. military, which did so out of pure malevolence." Assuming the worst of someone is not how I choose to live, even though I often have to remind myself not to do it.

RudyinParis: Do you have an idea of what is happening? How old is your daughter? I think at certain ages there can be an impulse to be liked by handing over stuff; it's not exactly blackmail or bribery, but it's something that can need repeated conversations to explain why we don't do that.

[Julie]

@the readers who are disappointed that this is no longer a Q and A, please check the archives. Moxie spent a lot of time putting the archives together. I've gotten a lot of great advice there. I think most every topic has been covered in some shape or form. Please remember that this is a personal blog. Not one that Moxie gets paid to do. I don't even think she gets much (if anything) from the advertising. She is a single mom of two boys living in NY and working a challenging job that requires a lot of travel. I'm not surprised that she is not posting every day. She's busy. She also has pretty high standards about the quality of her responses to questions, so she's probably not going to whip out a bunch of Q and A's just to put something up. Please give her a break. And please check the archives. A lot of good stuff there.

[Slim]

Oh, and Nancy, yeah, just wait if you want the easiest path. And keep alert for possible incentive (I originally wrote "bribe") opportunities -- "You need to be able to use the potty to go to that camp" or whatever.

[SarcastiCarrie]

@RudyinParis - Chuckles (age 4.5) came home with three plastic rings on his fingers yesterday and said "Robert" gave them to him. They were girl-type dress-up rings. Robert may have taken them from a girl (or I hear they have a prize bucket from which they can choose when they are good). So, I took them back today and asked the kindergarten teacher if she knew anything. She didn't know where they came from or whether anyone was missing something, but she figured if anyone asked, she'd have them at the ready.
He also came home with a winter, knit hat this week, which we took back the next day. It seems the kids do give their things away, but I don't want that stuff and I want to keep my own stuff (especially hats, ewww, gross...and chap stick). So, we talk a lot about what you can share and what you can't share and I hope some of it is sticking.

@Nancy - My only thing about potty training an older kid (3 years and up) is something I learned here. You find out what toy/thing they want the most, and promise that they can have it if they go potty for X long or keep dry overnight for X days in a row and do a star chart. Or you buy toys and wrap them (potty presents...was it Charisse who came up with that?) and put them near the toilet and when asked, casually say that you get those for going on the potty. It's not bribery, it's rewards!

[Rudyinparis]

Slim, she's 6. And I it's other kids giving HER stuff--but I need to know she's not bullying or taking or anything like that. I don't THINK she would do that, but then, we all know our kids can act pretty different when we're not around. Do you think I should coach her to not take things offered? I feel like it's weird, and I'm not sure what the subtext is, if you know what I mean.

Also, Julie's right--it is a personal blog, we're not paying subscribers. And the archives rock.

[monkeymama]

I understand why this is still bothering Moxie enough to keep posting about it. I agree with many that folks involved are doing the best they can, but I have to say I that I don't rely on CNN for all (or really any) of my news. I think the Slate article has some disturbing truths in it, truths that are larger than any one person's decisions or actions. Visits to other news outlets and reports from groups like Partners in Health show how amazingly resilient the Haitians have been in organizing to help each other. Of course it's easy to be an armchair critic, but I can't help wishing that some of the responding governments had thought to work more closely with these local community networks in distributing food, water, and other supplies.

@ Rudyinparis - my LO is still nonverbal so I have no experience with this or advice to offer. Good luck!

[Slim]

RudyinParis -- but earlier she was the one giving out dimes, right? I don't think it's bullying, exactly. I think there's just a frequent dynamic in which kids give stuff away to be nice, to increase their likeability, and who's going to turn down an appealing bit of stuff? A kid I babysat in high school was once thrilled that his best friend had paid him to play a particular board game with him, and it was pretty slow explaining the difference between paying someone to do work or extra chores vs paying for social interaction.

I think it's just part of negotiating social nuance: taking someone's stuff isn't nice, but giving them your stuff is a little off, too. Usually. Except sometimes we do that, too, but the example you're thinking of is different, honey, because Mommy was done with that book/appliance/whatever.

I mean, coming home with or without a new toy every day is not OK, but Freecycling half the stuff in the basement is an accomplishment? Good luck explaining that.

[mom2boys]

@Rudyinparis - the older boy is the sort who people tend to want to do things for and give things to. It does concern me that possibly there is some level of disadvantage between he and the other children but we talk (at length) about the difference between sharing and giving and how somethings shouldn't be either given or shared. He came home once with a ten dollar bill. The child was supposed to buy a book at the book fair and gave it to A. Still not sure why but when A returned it the kid told their teacher he really had just given to him. Not sure this helps if you think she's taking rather than giving but A remembered taking a recorded from music class in the first grade (he's in third now) and voluntarily used his allowance over the weekend to buy a replacement to return to the music teacher.

@nancy - I think there are three day, cold turkey training methods out there if you are committed to moving things along. Other than that, it seems that one day they want to be like the other kids and will use the potty.

[Rudyinparis]

This is reassuring. Yes, I do think it's, as Slim puts it, a matter of social nuance. She has a birthday party to go to this weekend and it occurs to me that this is a good chance to teach when it's appropriate to give and receive. It kind of seems similar to when we have to explain the difference betwen a lie and a "white" lie.

Sarcasticarrie--right--chapstick?? It got lost pretty quick!

[Bella]

I don't know enough about the politics to comment intelligently. But I have to say I find it pretty damn ironic that on the heels of a post about "kindness" and a clear plea from Moxie to focus on some acts of kindness because she may need that kind of energy, so many comments have suddenly turned downright ugly (I'm not referring to the ones that disagree with her call to action).

Moxie has kept up this site for years -- with little to no compensation -- and that is one of the biggest kindnesses that has had a MAJOR impact on my life. To nail her for not keeping up the 5 days/week regimen of posting is downright ugly and mean. Having tried to keep up HALF that rate of posting on a blog, I can tell you I am in freaking AWE of what Moxie has done. I may not agree with all her advice or perspectives, but man oh man, do I EVER appreciate the space to discuss all that advice and those differing perspectives in a caring, supportive context. I'd hate for this context to disappear because of some outspoken (but, I'm sure, small minority) of readers who have an odd sense of entitlement...

[thebigmeow]

Surely, even if the problem is logistics and not policy, there is no harm in calling/emailing? If nothing else it demonstrates the strength and depth of public feeling and encourages your representatives to persist with aid, and to find better, more efficient methods of supply and distribution.

You are allowed to say, "You're doing a great job, but I'm not happy with the way things are; there must be a better way". This is how progress happens - pressure from the public forces the government to re-evaluate. Even if it late turns out that there is no better way, you can be confident that help was given in the best way possible, and you and the government did the very best job that they could.

[Lisa]

Moxie, I am so thankful for these links. Now I can stop being so frustrated and take action. I DO believe there is an over-emphasis on orderliness in the face of tens of thousands of impending deaths. I still don't understand why The Mountain is not going to Mohammed. There are supplies sitting on the ground at the airport, and a LARGE airfield, that is, lots of grass around the air strips. If they organized to recieve people at the airport, food and water and some medical treatment could be more quickly dispersed. I'm not saying to let peole swarm the airport, but to possibly use the surrounding fence for distribution at various points along the fence line. This in addition to near and distnat transport of the supplies. We have to trust that Haitians will be as patient and orderly as they can be, despite their desperation.

We have to have faith in them.

Also, I don't think Moxie was criticizing the military, I think she wrote "policy" which she attributes to the present administration, as much as many of us love Obama. The Effort is being led by USAID. Please check out The Lede Blog from the NY times, just google, "The Lede."

[hedra]

@Rudyinparis, at least it isn't as bad as Mr B, who came home with coins in his pocket. Three girls who thought he was cute were paying him to play with them during recess. And he was accepting. Mr pre-K gigolo boy said 'hey, they want to pay me to play with them, I'll let them... I'd play with them anyway, but if they want to give me money for it...' Hint: Cute green-eyed blond extrovert boys need extra watching.

We had QUITE the conversation after that one! But the eldest girl of the three (all of whom said they wanted to marry Mr B, and who spoke his name in that half-whisper to their parents, sigh) was scary astute. She spotted me one day, identified me accurately, and then started the whole sucking-up-to-the-MIL thing. She was 5 1/2, I think, and was giving me drawings 'drawn JUST for you!' because I was the mom of the boy she wanted to marry. YIKES. Watch out for her, too!

All my kids have come home with 'oddments' - though we do send back almost everything (the odd penny, no, but other stuff yes). Teaching about what things are okay to take home, and what are not is only part of it. We also talk about how while the kids have rules about giving and receiving gifts, and that's okay, the grownups ALSO have rules about it, and it might not be the same rules. So we have an agreement to check with the other parents to make sure the other parents are okay with it. So the plastic rings that were given by grandma yesterday go back, but a star wars figure that the mom has agreed to the giving of can be kept. We talk about social value as well as monetary value, meaningfulness, and the idea that sometimes we give things and then wish we hadn't, and sometimes we don't give things when we really could have made a difference by giving it. Learning how to get all those right takes time and practice.

[suzi]

@ Nancy - My son is almost three and never once peed or pooped in the potty until I put him in underpants one day, no more diapers or pull-ups, and gave him a big reward for success. He was pretty confused for the first couple of days and peed in his underpants without even attempting to go on the potty, but once he made the potty - reward link, he started trying really hard and within a week was pretty much potty-trained. I would just jump into it - get rid of the diapers (except overnight, if you think it's too early for that) and find the right incentive (M&Ms did not motivate my son, so we got stickers which really did motivate him).

[kelda]

Echoing the appreciation for Moxie here, and the fact that these archives are bloody BRILLIANT. Someone up there chastised some readers for having "an odd sense of entitlement" - I think that was spot on. Read the archives. Pose your questions, solicit advice or support or cheery bits of insight, offer your advice/support/c.b.o.i., but - the beauty of this blog so far was the blessed lack of judgment.

So, having read the archives (: my question to the masses: how did you KNOW when a sleep regression was over? And/or whether your child was a tension releaser/increaser? How do you know when he's transitioned from "just needing that extra support/nursing/attention because he's going through a particularly intense developmental phase" to "well, this is just a groove that's been set and will remain like this forever unless I actively intervene"?

Another way of asking this is: Do the kids ever decide on their own to stop nursing? Or is it always, ultimately, Mommy-led, and just a matter of the day she decides she's had enough and presumably LO won't be permanently damaged by ending it? Does one HAVE to sleep in another room, deal with crying/wailing/asking for it, etc., or is there another way?

??!?!

Thanks, y'all!

[Raia]

I don't feel entitled to Moxie's advice -- just the opposite in fact, I feel remarkably lucky that she gave such wonderful advice so freely over the years. That said, this is a different blog than it used to be. I still find it valuable and wonderful, but it is different. If what you really want is the question/answer format, this isn't that anymore. I don't find the archives as helpful because the beauty of the previous format is it got me thinking ahead or in a different way, sometimes helped me see solutions to things I hadn't necessarily articulated as a problem. Although I still love to read the comments, I don't come as often as I used to and I don't recommend it to new parents the way I used to. But I think Moxie is entitled to use her blog as she wishes and given that her life is completely different now than it was a few years ago (she works out of the home full time, travels, and her kids are older) it makes sense to me that she is using her blog differently. And if someone doesn't think it's useful, I would urge that person to find a different blog to read.

[Brooke]

Does anyone want to tell me why my 15 month old's sleep went all to hell? It's going on two weeks now of constant waking, needing to nurse all the time, and erratic naps. It's making me crazy and stupid.

[Flo]

Just wanted to chime in with my thanks to Moxie for the blog.

I came here some time back looking for parenting advice and it really saved me so many times.

I still go to the archives for information as most of the topics have been covered.

Now I mostly come here to see how this interesting and intelligent online community is going to respond to whatever issue Moxie decides to raise in her posts.

Today's post is obviously controversial. Not being from the US I'm inclined to (mostly) stay out of it, not wishing to offend.

However, I have to say that from the media coverage in Australia it does look like the logistics are the issue, and that this is due to a whole lot of historical factors which have resulted in a very poor country with all the attendant problems.

In turn it is this long term impoverishment which has meant that the city did not cope at all well with the earthquake. The infrastructure is not there to facilitate aid either.

Whose fault is that? Some first world countries are partly culpable. But the fault is not that of the people currently in there helping.

Well, I guess that's not really staying out of it entirely.

@Nancy: We used YouTube to help us potty train. (I know, how very modern!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GW0H2tPZATQ

Found this amazing and very weird Japanese potty training video that involves a talking poo. My 3-yr-old son loves it!

We let him watch it over and over and over (and over) and then he started wanting to sit on the toilet.

We even took the laptop in there with him so he could watch it and, err, work on what needed to happen.

Weird I know, but it worked. (Took about 3 weeks in summer with no nappies on.)

[hedra]

@brooke, there's a stage at 14-15 months that their sleep goes to hell. Normal fussy stage, often the biggest symptom is food weirdness - nursing strikes (it is a common self-weaning point), food flinging, insisting on self-feeding, etc. Archives on that one! :)

@kieda, I don't remember when the girls last nursed because they self-weaned. I did push night-weaning, but they did just stop nursing on their own. At around 2 1/2, maybe, I'm not entirely sure how old they were. Likewise on using the potty. So they will do it, eventually. It might not be a schedule that works for everyone, though, and that's where you have to do the problem-solving.

[Brooke]

Too tired to read the archives. That would involve figure out things like keywords to search.

Although how happy would I be if he starts sleeping again AND stops with the throwing of food?

Sigh. I know it will pass and then he'll turn into a backtalking four-year-old.

[suzi]

@ Brooke, I hated 15 months. Everything changed at 18 months. 18-36 months were (mostly) heaven with my son. So, this too shall pass. You'll be on to the next stage, he'll sleep, and learn table manners. Hang in there.