Reporting in

So things are resolved for the moment, again.

This takes a lot of time and energy and heart.

I wonder, sometimes, what amazing thing I could be doing with the energy and thought this takes from me on a daily basis.

Thank you. So, so much.

I'd tell you I'd put up a real post tonight, but that would be a bald-faced lie as I'm actually going out tonight. (!) However, you get my annual Thanksgiving/AskMoxiversary post tomorrow.

Thanks.

Comments

[paola]

I have a feeling Moxie's auto-post thingo aint working.

[SarcastiCarrie]

@flea - I have also noticed how much easier it is on Daddy-working-late nights than I anticipate. Apparently, I do the bulk of child care even when my husband is home. And what I don't do, I have to ask to have done (and it's just not worth it).

[meggiemoo]

@caramama, we've communicated (commiserated) about our kids' crap sleep before. I think whatever you do, his sleep patterns will change in any case.

My DD is a *slightly* better sleeper than her older brother (she's 8 m.o. now), but has his issues with spending a lot of time in REM sleep and not as much in deep sleep, so she's easily aroused.

She also would nap for 3 hours+ swaddled in the swing, until she outgrew it. Then we went to the bassinet, and now the crib (with her ending up in bed with me at some point to nurse). Here are my suggestions:

- Does he sleep on his belly? If you feel comfortable with that (he has good neck strength, or is starting to roll over), babies often sleep more deeply on their bellies. My kids *only* ever slept on their stomachs (except for the swing), because they seriously would not sleep on their backs. Ever. I felt that our SIDS risk was very low, and my risk of driving off a cliff from lack of sleep was very high, but YMMV.

- If it's the motion he craves, have you tried wearing him to sleep? I often forget about this one, but lately I've put her in the ergo and either walk around the house or bounce on an exercise ball. If I wait until she's past the first cycle of sleep (20 min or so), I can ease her into the crib.

- IME, solid food had absolutely no effect on sleep. (sorry)

- Everyone sleeps better in a cooler room with warm clothes/blankets. If he's swaddled, he's probably plenty warm, but check that he's not too warm.

- If he's waking a lot when cosleeping, he may be a person who needs space when sleeping. Could you nurse him just until he's sleepy again and then pop him into the crib/bassinet? When my DD was littler, she was able to sleep and nurse all night long, but now if we cosleep, it seems to keep her in that light stage of sleep, and she gets restless.

There's definitely evidence that spirited kids have a harder time falling asleep and staying asleep than other kids. My DS, almost 4 y.o., is just *now* starting to sleep through the entire night more nights than not. Did I mention he's almost 4? That's a lot of wakeful nights. Yowza. I'm convinced it's a brain thing and that whatever we did or didn't do over the years, he had to get to this point on his own.

My DD isn't as sensitive as he is, so I'm hopeful that her sleep won't be as broken. And I'm hopeful for you, too!

[SarcastiCarrie]

More anecdata: Bobo (12.5 months) cannot co-sleep most of the time. I've tried. He can't get comforatble, gets restless, wakes early, etc.

The Overnight Adventures of Chuckles the 4.5-Year Old continue with eating cereal in the wee hours (in the morning he tells me he was sad because we didn't have any Raisin Bran)...and I remember thinking he didn't need to eat overnight once he hit 20-pounds, 2 years old, whatever. Apparently the kid's gotta eat overnight. And yes, he did have a good dinner the night before. I'm guessing growth spurt since at dinner time he's eating everything that isn't bolted down.

[Cloud]

@flea- maybe try having assigned responsibilities, so that you don't waste time/energy discussing things that don't really need discussion? That is what works best for me and my Hubby. For instance, he "owns" after dinner snack for our toddler, so most nights I don't even think about it. I, of necessity, "own" feeding of the newborn- which includes figuring out when to give our one bottle of the day (although Hubby actually gives the bottle) and figuring out when to pump, etc. Those are kind of lame examples, but I hope you get what I mean.

I also wrote a schedule of nightly chores (Hubby reviewed and agreed to it, but organizing/coming up with processes is one of my things in our partnership, so I took the lead on it). This was genius in our relationship for awhile, because it gave us each license for some guilt free "play" time. Once the chores on the list were done, you were done for the night and could go goof off. (Usually, one parent was doing the chores and one parent was doing bedtime.) This system broke down during my pregnancy and can't work exactly the same in our current bedtime situation... but believe me, I am thinking hard about how to tweak it and bring it back.

@caramama- I was going to mention the hammock idea, too. When we were in Cambodia, we saw babies sleeping in hammocks and they always looked so peaceful and happy!

One other idea- have you checked for reflux? That can cause frequent nursing (while they're nursing, it feels better) and also a preference for an incline, like in a swing.

If its just an incline thing, I have recently seen a product that inclines the crib mattress. But I forget what it was called. Sorry. I must have seen it at either Target or Babies'R'Us, though, because those are the only places I go these days....

[Julie]

@caramama....a gentle reminder of our conversation a couple weeks ago when I mentioned that #2 started sleeping so much longer and better once I started giving him a bottle at bedtime. He was a lazy nurser and would eat happily until the flow slowed down. He then decided that the 2 oz that were easy to get were enough to tide him over until he was hungry again - 2 hours later. Repeat all night long. If you haven't yet tried the bottle at bedtime, maybe give it a try now?

I also agree with the others who say some kids just are not good cosleepers. Neither of mine are/were. Also, go to Costco and get a lot of C or D batteries. You might get some funny looks from people wondering what a woman *might* be doing with so many C/D batteries (wah-wah-chicka chicka-wah-wah) but hey. If that means the kid's swing doesn't stop - go for it.

I've also heard great things about the amby baby. I don't have a link but you can google it. Good luck!!!!!! I can't believe he's already 5.5 months old!!!!!

[lwh]

@caramama--On the batteries, we used rechargeables. In my experience, it works best if you have two sets of batteries for each important baby device (one set in use, one set charging). I think we saved lots of money in batteries this way, but I didn't exactly track it.

Nothing but commiseration on the sleep front. DD didn't really start sleeping through the night until about 27 months, but nursing back to sleep usually did the trick. And we swaddled for what felt like forever. To wean her from it, I started putting her down for naps without the swaddle. Eventually, we just lost it altogether, although I don't remember exactly when--probably somewhere around 6 months. Good luck!

[Cloud]

@caramama- Julie's post made me think... if it IS related to the decrease in flow rate, you could try massaging to push more milk down when the flow slows down, and see if that keeps Pookie's interest. You could also try stroking his jaw, to stimulate the suck reflex when he starts to drift off.

[meggiemoo]

And if anyone needs an Amby bed (and lives in the DC area), I have one for sale on Craigslist. I loved the concept, but my DS didn't take to it. You're not supposed to use it past a certain age, however.

[caramama]

Thanks all! I feel kind of bad that I got us on the topic of sleep yet again, but I so appreciate the thoughts!

I am going to try pumping to give him a bottle at night and see if that helps. I'll keep trying to put him in his crib, but so far he actually seems to sleep better with me (when not in the swing). I'm also going to look into the age on the hammocks to see if it's worth buying.

[hush]

Thanks to all who chimed in re: sitter sick day pay. I'm going with what @Slim said - she'll be paid for the day. Once we hit the new year, we will formalize a compensation structure that includes paid time off - I think we'll have it accrue with time. So if she's with us 6 more months she'll get even more paid days off. We want to incentivize sticking with us for the long term, and also staying home when she's truly ill. Thanks again all for the great suggestions!!

[Cheap Louis Vuitton]

ni you meiyou tebei xihuan de jieri, ni xianzai zai ganma, gai shenme dongxi? hen nan ma?

[Mike]

Difference between me and you?I sleep in and rest, and hang out to keep my sainty on a few occassions here and there and take my time to get stuff done!!Im like the tortoise and you are the hare!!! But you know, you will get there first but im slow and steady and when I say steady that might be an exaggerationI must remember to do that ARS thing I keep forgetting about it!and I need to do my presentation this week too.

[Alex]

I think it's great that you are aiming for raw! Go you! I wachetd the Simply Raw DVD with my parents, thanks for the recommendation.My Mum was amazed and thought it was brilliant and I really think she is starting to believe this stuff. Dad is still quite resistant I think as he's so busy lamenting what he's missing but I hope we can get there I just wish we would see some results soon from his vegan diet. It's been two weeks of vegan (not raw), less refined carbs, still drinking wine, and I don't know that his blood sugar has changed much. Fingers crossed tight!

[http://www.amerisleep.com/adjustable-beds.html]

If you sleep on your side, but you curl your head forward, chin to chest, you put stress on your neck and shoulder muscles. You may need to try sleeping on your back (put another pillow behind your knees if you do so to keep stress off the lower back). If your pillow doesn't work in this position, try a rolled up bath towel.