Q&Q: back pain

Angela wrote me a lovely note asking about nursing pillows. She is having a ton of back pain, and thought switching pillows might help.

But I don't think the problem is actually the pillow (she was wondering about switching from one kind to another kind that looked identical to me). I think the problem is the way she's sitting to nurse, combined with carrying a baby all the time, and pushing a stroller, and lugging around all the crap we lug around for babies.

That got me started thinking about the back pain *I* experience from carrying around my big mom purse full of crap, as well as carrying my younger son's backpack in the morning. It feels like I'm a pack mule. With shoulder tension and a backache.

*Then* I started wondering if all the insomnia everyone I know is suffering might have something to do with muscle pain.

It seems like it's probably all related. And that we'd be better off if we could figure out a way to lessen the strain we put on our bodies.

So, ideas? I'm vowing to wear more supportive shoes during my commute and wait to put on the heels until I get to work. I'm also going to make sure I take everything out of all of our backpacks each night and only carry the stuff we'll actually need.

I'm also going to do some stretching in the morning (my stretch of choice is the T-Tapp Primary Back Stretch).

Does anyone have any suggestions to lessen the strain? Or do you want to complain about your pains? Either or both are fine.

Comments

[abby]

this is to answer the nursing piece. make sure you are always bringing baby to breast, not breast to baby (which would involve leaning over and being uncomfortable), make sure you are in a good spot, with foot support and that you are not straining in any direction, also make sure all stuff is in reach (water, remote, phone,magazine, etc.)

I've had back pain on and off, yoga helps, as does just being smart (not carring too much, using both shoulders for backpack,etc.)

also, with a very little baby, you might be tempted to go with a sling, but something like a meitei is usually better for your back in terms of balance and weight

[Jill in Atlanta]

Weigh your purse and then whittle down the contents. Try a backpack so it can go on two shoulders.

While nursing, be sure shoulders aren't clenched. Get whatever chair, pillow combo you need because you're going to spend a lot of time there.

Do stretches to reverse the position you've been holding- lean back in an arch if you've been hunched, etc.

[Shelley]

I had a more slimmed-down baby bag than many -- I carried *only* what I thought I'd be most likely to need, but in the car I kept a bigger bag with more emergency supplies (more diapers, extra outfit, everything). Obviously this only works if you're not using mass transport...

One simple, yet delightfully effective stretch is to sit up straight, pull your shoulder down, and tilt your head in the opposite direction (and repeat on the other side).

[Claudia]

I could never nurse laying down. I nursed fine in a chair with a nursing pillow (the name escapes me, but the horseshoe-shaped thing) with a pillow underneath, until Boo boo was big enough to not need the double up, which was probably close to a year old.

My back and hips have been a mess for most of Boo boo's life. The worst times were nearly debilitating, ie. constant pain and poor stride due to the aches or shooting pains.

What has helped me most is regular yoga and good professionals. The first professional was a chiropractor who was just magical. She found the spots as if with a divining rod, and fixed me in very few sessions. And now I have a physical therapist who in the first appointment identified how I can relieve the pain in my buttocks and heels, because it all stems from my lower back. Because I'm rather flexible, I couldn't get it stretched enough. So she has me lay on my belly and push up on my hands til my arms are fully extended, with the hips and legs still on the floor. BUT, I have to prop up my hands on a couple of books to extend my back enough.

All that to say, get help. It's worth it. And if my daughter would sleep through the night, I'd probably notice that my sleep is better. Sigh.

[MrsHaley]

Re:bags

I have a diaper bag/purse combo that goes over one shoulder and across the chest -- kind of like you'd carry a messenger bag but the bag itself is a backpack designed to be carried that way. Tres sporty, which I am not. It is secure, holds a lot and stays put to leave my hands free for baby-hefting and toddler-wrangling. I will Google around for a pic and post it if I find one.

Also, I got a week-long sore neck from my flu shot?!? Instead of the soreness going down my arm from the injection site, it went up into my shoulder and neck, resulting in a migraine to start with and a week of excruciating neck & shoulder pain afterward. That had never happened before -- very weird and VERY painful. Constant pain takes a BIG chunk out of my/anyone's mood, sleep, disposition ... I was surprised at how hard it hit me. Wah.

[mollyball]

I've just given up and started wearing sneakers everywhere, like Jennifer Garner. It helps a lot, to be honest. But I look like a big mom.

[MrsHaley]

This is very similar to my bag but mine is a little more low-profile:

http://stevintorres.com/ourstuff.aspx

I think I got mine free from the hospital after #2's birth, full of formula & diaper samples.

[Charisse]

yoga & massages. if you can possibly afford it, go to an actual yoga class and get an experienced teacher to adjust you in downward dog and some seated twists. just doing a video won't necessarily get you the correct alignment that will actually help the pain. but correctly done, those poses will help and strengthen the right muscles.

also, core-focused exercises. the stronger your center, the more ergonomically you'll be able to carry yourself, even under strain.

and for me, it's knees - I do a lot of stairs and hills (hello SF!), walk a mile or two a day, and stand up on trains...and if I ever have to carry Miss 50-lb 5-year-old on them, especially if I happen to be wearing heels, my knees just get wrecked. wah.

[Christiana]

Oh, the stuff I sed to carry in my school back pack! Mom's of older children, may I advise making even them go through their bags every week and weed out the junk? You'd be surprised what you'll find and how much it will make a difference to them as well!

I, too do the 2 bags thing so that I can have a bag of extra diapers/clothes/games/toys/snacks and only lug around a bag of necessities. That helps. Also, make sure you try and alternate the arm that holds your child - if I forget and only go one side for several days that whole side of my body will hurt for a week.

I never mastered the laying down to nurse thing (though w/ #2 on the way, I'm determined to do so this time!) but I always used 2 pillows on my lap until the baby got bigger. I always felt like the Boppy slipped too much anyway (am looking at getting a BrestFriend for this time around).

[Rachel]

I second the finding good professionals. And if your insurance covers massage, I'd go for it too. It's so worth it, even a crummy massage I find helps me cope with stress better.
As for bags, I have one medium sized purse that I toss five dipes, a thing of wipes and wallet/hand sani in to. And in the car I have a small bin with extra clothes/snacks/more diapers/wipes that I can pull from in emergencies.

[Melissa]

I had back problems when I first started breastfeeding. I realized that I needed to straighten up and bring baby to boob. I also made sure I used a foot rest when feeding - made a HUGE difference (I am 5'2"). I also used My Breast Friend which I found better than using pillows because it was a harder surface.

[Trish]

If she is using a Boppy-type pillow for nursing, she might find the My Breast Friend is more helpful - it made a world of difference for my back pain. Also, a correctly-fitting bra might help. I tend to carry a lot of tension in my shoulders - they are constantly tense and I have to make a conscious effort to relax them or they are up near my ears all day! My right shoulder hurts most of the time.

[esp]

Although I hate it, showering at night before sleep rather than in the morning seems to help a lot with mommy aches and pains. A bath is even better, not that I much have enough time to indulge in that.

And wearing insoles in all my shoes *and* no longer going barefoot at home helps a lot, too.

[alisha]

Thirty four pound two year old = major hip problems. My only solution has been weekly physical therapy for the last two months, after 2 years of pain. Turns out we're not supposed to lug around such heavy loads! And my new rule is that I don't carry my daughter for more than a minute or in an emergency. She knows this and lately starting asking me to "go to phy-cal the-ppy more to fix your back so you can carry me." Seriously, though, if you are in more than minor discomfort, physical therapy is fabulous, and I shouldn't have waited until the pain became life-impeding.

I also only wear Danskos or sneakers. Too bad, because I love shoes and especially heels, but those are completely out. Pain trumps fashion at this point in my life, and it's kind of a relief to think that way.

@Mrs. Haley--several other people I know had the same experience with the seasonal flu vaccine this year. Strange . . .

[Cobblestone]

When my son was about 18 hours old I tore a back muscle picking him up. I couldn't imagine when it would have a chance to heal.

In the end my back felt bad for awhile until I remembered that my abs were once again available for use and got back in the habit of using them.

My lower back still hurts because I need a between the knees pillow at night but with a 14 month old, me, a husband, an obese cat, and a gigantic but wonderful "husband" pillow in the bed I cannot really imagine introducing anything else.

[hush]

Massages are something I would like a lot more of in my life! Oh, the healing power of touch!

[Nikki]

I definitely found that switching to a larger, more firm nursing pillow (Kuddle Ring, made by Kozy Kids) helped with back pain and comfort in general. Another solution is to sit up straight enough. I prefer to sit on the couch and put a fairly big pillow behind me so that I'm truly upright and my feet are touching the floor. If I forget the pillow, my back aches afterwards.

I love the idea of babywearing and know it's a positive thing, but haven't yet found a carrier that doesn't result in an aching back or shoulders for me. So a practical stroller might be a partial solution if back pain is related to carrying baby!

I also made the switch to a backpack instead of a purse - actually did it while I was pregnant, when my back was really bothering me. I find the more evenly distributed weight is less bothersome to my back and shoulders.

One stretch that really helps with low back pain for me is to stretch my hip flexors like this: http://www.exrx.net/Stretches/HipFlexors/KneelingHipFlexor.html I get tight hip flexors from prolonged sitting (like driving, or nursing) and they seem to tilt my pelvis back, which then pulls on my low back, if that makes any sense. A good hip flexor stretch really helps me with low back pain. I often end up getting out of bed at night to do a few when I have a sore back, and it makes a world of difference to my sleep.

[obabe]

i totally had the back pain from bringing breast to baby at nights, when i was most tired and not really paying such good attention. feeding him in the glider as opposed to bed made a huge difference.

also, 10 months after having my third, i developed the WORST pain running down my leg. and no, i never had sciatica when pregnant. One physical therapy appointment showed my hip and pelvis was completely out of wack, causing one leg to be noticeable shorter than the other when i was laying down on the exam table.

it was alot of stretching excercises, fabulous massages from the PT and major effort to not carry EVERYTHING on my right side (where the pain originated). also, my PT just yanked my leg back into the hip socket correctly (didnt hurt).it took about 3 weeks of 2-3 times a week sessions and the pain was gone.

i dont wear heels for my commute- fitflops or uggs and then i change. i thankfully only bring a small purse to work too.

so, my advice: one PT appointment to make sure nothing is seriously out of wack. more if they can help, especially if insurance covers it. balance the weight of your baby, bags, etc on both shoulders. nurse sitting up straight.
get some sleep and drink enough.

:-)

[HappyMama]

I've had serious back pain since soon after the birth (18 months ago). It vanishes during the day, but recurs at night especially if I lie on my back. It doesn't feel like muscle pain, but like my spinal bones are pulling apart.
I've been to multiple physiotherapists, all unable to fix this. I'm left with two possible explanations:
1. My IUD (Mirena) is causing the pain somehow.
2. Breastfeeding, and the relaxin that is thereby released, is causing it.

I've just weaned the baby, and my back seems a little better, though it always went in phases of better and worse.

Question: has anyone else noticed back pain connected with an IUD or with breastfeeding?

[Summer]

I don't think this has been mentioned yet, but particularly if the back pain is in the upper back, go get measured for the right size bra.

The worst back pain I've ever had was when I was 7 months pregnant and wearing Bravado bras. When I finally got professionally fitted for a (shockingly large) (hideously granny-looking) properly supportive bra, the back pain went away immediately.

Milk-filled boobs are HEAVY, and unlike an overloaded diaper bag, a mom has to carry them all the time!

[Elizabeth]

I had terrible lower back pain when my son was about 6-12 months old, and was in physical therapy for it for a while. They said that my pelvis area had "frozen" while pregnant to handle the extra weight, and that it didn't regain flexibility afterwards for whatever reason.

In addition to the PT, I found that I got a lot of relief when I got an Ergo carrier instead of trying to just cart him around in my arms. It shifted the weight to my center of mass so I wasn't carrying him off balance any more.

[Shelby Eidson]

Carrying around the baby made my already bad hip worse really fast and after 10 months, I needed a hip replacement. Has made all the difference in the world. I had bad hips to start with, so I'm not all that good of a reference point, but the Bjorn to carry him around helped at the worst points after I knew I needed replacement and before I could get into surgery. The bjorn distributes the weight evenly instead of on one hip as a sling does. After surgery, there was a couple of weeks where I couldn't pick him up, but during that time, I taught him to come to the couch or chair where mommy could pick him up and snuggle. Interestingly enough, during this time, he didn't really want me, just daddy, which actually helped. Once I was able to do some of the mommy duties again, he accepted me back. I didn't do the Ergo because it distributes the weight evenly but puts the weight on the hips, exactly what I don't need, but others might find helpful. I'm wondering what to do now that I'm better, but he likes to be held, but not in the bjorn now.

During nursing, consciously relaxing the shoulders and practicing good posture really does work.

Wedges also work in lieu of heels, if you want to look cute.

We are sitting in the room with him while he goes to sleep on the floor and I use this time to really practice my posture and breathing.

Those baby carriers are heavy, all of them.

And, I'm lucky. My husband carries him if long distances are involved and no stroller. And, I have a handicap sticker on my car, which helps. :)

[Christy]

This nursing pillow changed my life: http://www.growgrowgrow.com/DesignZoom.asp?DesignID=289&SizeRange=breastfeeding&Gender=0

I found it at my LC's office when my son was a newborn, but didn't get it because we already had a boppy. I had horrible carpal tunnel and backpain from using the boppy with him, so when I had my daughter this summer, I got the grow pillow and it is so wonderfully thick, the baby is actually at my boob height.

[Shelby Eidson]

Interestingly enough, my ortho doctor who did my hip replacement was not surprised that I had no problem during pregnancy with my hips. He said that the hormone released during pregnancy really helps protecting the hips (and allowing the mom to carry to term). He also said that if they could bottle that hormone and inject people with it, they would. It was only after the birth (c-section, so it didn't have to do with the actual birth) that things went downhill.

[SarcastiCarrie]

I have a Mirena and am breastfeeding. No back pain from the Mirena (but after 9 months with it, I am still spotting and none-too-thrilled with that).

I got a flu shot this year (and a pertussis shot) and no neck/head pain from either of those but some eoreness at the site of teh injection.

I am a pack mule in the mornings (laptop bag, pump bag, milk bag, lunch bag, purse, baby's diaper bag, big kid's back pack). I take two trips to the car. I also have that Nestle/Carnation Good Start messenger bag/back pack from the hospital. It has a cell phone pocket! It came with Guess How Much I Love You and a really cute hooded baby towel. It has these neat little pockets inside and out that are the right size for a wallet or hand sanitizer (my husband says they are supposed to be for bottles, but I don't do bottles so I'm not sure).

I love My Brest Friend (stupid name excluded). At 11 months, we just stopped using it. Now I go pillowless or a bed pillow. But for the first 11 months, it was the Brest Friend or a strange system/combination of two pillows behind my back to get me upright, a pillow on my lap and a boppy on top of that to get the baby up where he belonged (I might be long-waited).

[Charisse]

@Elizabeth, that's funny, I had the opposite problem--real fast birth, easy 2nd stage and apparently my pelvic ligaments didn't spring back. Before I got back in shape, my yoga teacher said she could wiggle my sacrum 1/2 inch in any direction. I had to build the muscles back to support it.

[rd]

The baby, even as light as he was, gave both me and my husband back pain.

My advice: streamline your bag, get a stroller that fits your body, look at investing an an Ergo carrier, and try to use proper lifting tecniques for getting the baby in and out of the crib or bed. I also found that my heating pad (a warmed bucky pillow) and a hot bath helped a lot at night. I fell in LOVE with Aura Cacia 'Tranquility' bath salts.

[the milliner]

Oh yeah...the back pain. I'd say my back is my weakest area. Pre-birth, I had regular chiro & massage visits (about 4-6 per year each). And if I pulled something or even if I had a really sore back to the point where I couldn't move, the chiro was always able to release it for me within a session or two.

During my pregnancy, I was amazed to find that I didn't have major back pain. I had regular chiro & massage visits during that time to ensure I was staying as loose & nimble as possible, considering. Post-birth? The back nightmare began. Though I was tempted to think it was the BF, with a bit of perspective, I think the thing that did me in more was the lifting in and out of the crib (especially at the point where he was big, but couldn't support his own head, and then really big and not standing on his own). That and the endless carrying/bouncing/lifting that damn car seat up and down three flights/not having the best support in our carrier at the beginning.

I think I felt the effects of the lifting while I was BF, instead of BF per se being the biggest factor.

Anyhow, here's what I did to help ease the pain:

-Ensure I was lifting the baby properly (i.e. knees bent), especially out of the crib.

-Asking DH to do as much lifting & carrying as possible

-Get a great carrier with good back support. We like the Beco.

-Regular Chiro visits. To be honest, they marginally helped in the beginning. But I always felt a bit better after I left. My chiro says that things have definitely shifted since I've given birth, so it's hard to compare pre and post birth.

-Great chiro exercise: Lie on the floor (wood floor or firm surface) for 10 - 15 mins every day. You can put a small rolled towel under your neck if necessary. Eventually, you can put a rolled towel underneath your spine to increase the distance your shoulders can fall back. Helps reverse the hunch from the lifting & BF etc & increase mobility.

-Regular Massage. Again, marginally helped in the beginning, but I always felt better after.

-Put the baby in the carrier as much as possible when I had to carry other stuff. The more I could evenly distribute his weight on me, the easier it was to carry other stuff.

-BF in a chair with arms (helps support he BF pillow & makes it less of a distance to bring the baby to your breast

-Mum & Baby yoga

-Exercise! Anything! Stretching. 5-10 mins per day even. I think partly what's made my recovery so slow is that I haven't been able to get back to exercising regularly (other than walking) and I think my body is less responsive because of it. So, I think it's a good idea, just haven't figured out how to work it in myself just yet.

-2 Advil before bed. This was my last resort. And honestly, I did it for quite a while during the bad months. Not that I recommend that. But, if you stay within the limitations on the package, 2 Advils before bed really takes the edge off the sore back that creeps up overnight. And I'd also end up sleeping better (which supports Moxie's idea of the link between muscle pain & insomnia).

-The kid getting older. Sad to say, but the best thing for my back was a combo of L getting old enough so that I didn't need to pick him up all the time, and me going back to work (hence less picking up). Now that he stands up in his crib when he wants out, I don't have to do that deep lift of a heavy weight so often.

[maria]

I have some back fatigue and pain from muscular tension, but the big thing that happened for me post-pregnancy was my feet. Really bad pain in my feet when I first got out of bed in the morning, or stood and walked after sitting for even a relatively short time (15 minutes+). My feet did get bigger during pregnancy and I've never had great arches so I don't know whether the ligaments stretched and never recovered or what. It still happens occasionally to this day 6 years later, but hardly ever as bad as the first few years, when I would literally hobble around for the first 10 or 15 minutes in the morning, barely able to walk.

No idea what that's from.

[anatomist]

rookie moms just posted today with yoga poses help back pain from nursing and lugging a baby.
http://www.rookiemoms.com/practice-yoga-to-ease-the-strain-of-breastfeeding/
i've got junior on my hip for half the day (2 yrs old and 30 lbs and very clingy these days since we aren't together all the time anymore now that i am in school) and the rest of the day i've got a good 40 lbs of books to carry and every time i try to cut that down, i find that i have left a book at home that i desperately needed for class.
i'll definitely be reading for tips...

[Melwig]

I had some pretty severe back and hip pain that went away (along with a host of other things) post mirena-removal.

[CaliBoo]

No time to read previous posts, but I did find the My Brest Friend pillow to be a lot more comfortable and stable than a Boppy.
I found that wearing shoes around the house rather than going barefoot helped a lot. If the budget allows it, try some Dansko clogs, they have been my go-to on stand-all-day days.

[Cloud]

You can take my advice with a serious grain of salt, since I'm working through a messed up neck right now, and haven't really figured out what messed it up.

BUT- my big discovery when nursing baby #1 was that I needed foot support so that the baby (on a Boppy) came to the right height. I use a yoga block for this. I suppose a second pillow would do the same thing, and I might try that at night. I'm wondering if I'm nursing in a strained position in the middle of the night. Or my neck pain may be due to the fact that I had to sleep on my back, with pillows making me partially upright, for the first week and a half after I came home from the hospital. Any other position hurt my C-section incision.

On diaper bags- we now have two. One backpack that has all the stuff we need for a longish outing with both kids (both still in diapers...) and one little one with just a couple of diapers for each kid.

[Schwa de Vivre]

I nursed in the football hold, and wound up making my own pillow. I nearly bought a pillow built for nursing twins: http://www.doubleblessings.com/servlet/Detail?no=271 To build my own, I got a piece of three-inch thick foam from the fabric store, cut it into three slabs with and electric carving knife. I shaped two of them to curve around me; the third was just a block that I put beside my leg and rested one of the other slabs on top of. I nearly got more foam to raise the whole contraption up, because my boobs are that high. Pretty much, I took up the whole couch. I also usually stuck a throw pillow under baby's head.

I planned to make a cover to go over them, but I never got around to it, what with the infant and colic and all. They didn't look great when I was done, but they worked fantastically.

I also had a pillow that went behind my back, and two reams of paper on the floor to raise my feet (though I wish I'd gotten one of those Medela stools instead).

T-tapp helped tremendously with the back pain, especially shoulder pain. I swear it has reshaped my body, especially the thing that Nikki talks about above: it has tilted my pelvis at a totally different angle (and made kegels obsolete).

Everyone else has covered the rest, except that year one, my husband and I consumed ungodly amounts of naproxen.

[Eveanyn]

I have to give a huge second to everyone who said to add a pillow under the nursing pillow, to bring the baby UP to the breast and to get a good bra.

1) I used the boppy, which ended up going flat by the time we weaned (he was a fatty) so I always used a second pillow. *I* also liked sitting cross legged in the recliner or on the couch. It seemed to take some pressure off of my back while nursing.

2) RELAX, i know it is hard having a little busy mouth attached to you but just do your best to relax.

3) Lane Bryant stores carry just about every bra size on the planet, not nursing bra's that I have seen, but good quality bra's. I like the Cacique Balconette for about $45 dollars. Get sized somewhere (By a professional that knows what they are doing) and just go shop around for one that feels good. Even if you waste $100 on 2 or 3 before you find one you like, it is cheaper than a chiropractor or physical therapist or massage therapist in the end.

[heather]

I found nursing while lying down (on my side) helps with lower back pain, but it can put a wicked kink in my neck!

One thing I notice that totally wrecks my back are slings. I use a Hotsling and while it is awesome for short periods of time, it kills my neck and lower back if I use it for more than an hour or so. This is where my Ergo comes in: I find it amazing for comfort, even after 2 or 3 hours of carrying a 20-lb kid!

Regular stretching, carrying a backpack on both shoulders (no more single-shoulder purses or diaper bags!), and a heating pad (put on my shoulders while I read in bed at night, turned off before sleep) all help me with shoulder & lower back pain.

[amanda]

A change is nursing pillows made all the difference for me. I started out using the Boppy, and my back hurt so badly I cried. I tried adding extra pillows under it, behind my back, you name it. The Boppy and my back just didn't get along.

I switched to using the My Breast Friend pillow, and my back was sooooo much better. It has a built in back support which helped so much. I used a pillow under it, and it was the perfect combo for me.

So, I say switch the nursing pillow and see if it helps. The My Breast Friend pillow was priceless to me.

[meggiemoo]

I've experienced bad back pain after both births, which I attribute to the strain of side-lying nursing, carrying the baby, carrying a carseat, etc. My pain has gotten to the point where now I have terrible knots in my shoulders and I can't lie down flat on a hard surface.

I know I need massage and probably a good chiro session, but who has the time?

I like the Bjorn for ease of in/out, but I can't use it for any extended length of time. I do love my Ergo, and I haven't experienced any back pain with it.

I wish I could nurse lying down without back pain, because I'm far too tired/lazy to nurse in the chair every time my DD wakes up at night (all 6-8 times).

[Anna]

I had shoulder blade and neck pain for about the first two months and then it migrated to my forearms and wrists. Just getting over it all now, eight months later.

All of the preventative advice here is great and I wish I'd seen it before DS arrived. Some suggestions for post-pain relief:

(1) Try Thai massage. It's much cheaper than a chiropractor and they do a lot of the same stuff. (Be ready to speak up if they apply too much pressure, though. It can hurt but oh, what sweet relief!)

(2) Get hubby to do more of the lifting, carrying, fussing with the car seat, etc. The one "maternal" thing my DH enjoyed was bottle feeding after we'd established a breastfeeding routine. But, for the most part, he was drawn to the more "manly" tasks that eventually saved my back and wrists.

(3) For your wrists, avoid tendonitis by bending your knees when you lift baby and keeping your hands level as you lift. I lifted using my wrists and would lock them forward when carrying my DS. Not good! Had to eventually get a steroid shot after my range of motion dropped to nil.

[Kristie]

I'm seconding (thirding...fourthing...nth-ing...) the advice to:

1. RELAX when you nurse. I think making sure to relax everything is more important than making sure all body parts are optimally supported. The baby can conform to you!! I had pain after my son was born. It resolved once I started consciously relaxing all muscles each time I started a feeding session (focusing on neck, shoulders and back). I was causing the pain by holding tension.

I agree with Moxie's ideas about the tension we carry causing sleep problems. A trick I use when I can't get to sleep is to tighten all my muscles one by one in sequence, then release then in reverse sequence. The underlying tension we hold in our bodies is amazing!!!

2. Shoes! Shoes! Shoes! Women essentially inflict self-torture on themselves with the shoes they wear. But it breaks my heart to give up cute flats and snazzy heals. *sigh* My greatest sacrifice to motherhood! Merrell makes some cute shoes that also have great support.

3. We carry around WAY too much junk for our kids. Only bring what you will actually use.

[maria]

@ Anna, ooh ooh! You've reminded me that I did have wrist pain, I'd forgotten all about that. I even had a brace thingie at one point. So it wasn't just the feet.

And Moxie, I don't know what kind of internet mojo you've got going on over there, but somehow I have developed serious lower back pain tonight for no apparent reason. So tomorrow could you do a post about being financially secure, emotionally healthy, and with a great social life?

And another note about physical pain: when I escaped a very emotionally abusive and scary situation at the beginning of this year, I felt physically battered for at least a couple of weeks after getting out of the 'danger zone'. I went around for several days trying to figure out why on earth my body was so sore and felt actually bruised until I realized it was a physical expression of the emotional experience I'd been through for the previous several months (well, the previous 6 years actually). The body/mind thing is powerful guys.

[fahmi]

I actually use a laptop backpack bag as my diaper bag to carry all the kids' stuff. It's much more ergonomic for my back, and got enough pouches that I don't need a regular diaper bag.

My almost-4 year old carries his own backpack. If he can't carry it, it doesn't go. I know it's mean, but I got tired of schlepping all these things for his entertainment purposes, and then his never using it.

Most my back pain was related to nursing too. Lying down helped the pain go away, and then once recovered, I worked on doing proper posture.

[paola]

Sorry, have not read the other comments so am probably repeating what others have said.

With my first, I suffered excrutiating pain when breastfeeding, until I got a nursing pillow. I don't think changing brands would help Angela as the principal is the same: a way to lift the baby so s/he is as close as possible to the breast and to support the child's body. What alleviated the pain was a hot water bottle on where it hurt during off time.

I suffered with back pain for ages even when I carried a light handbag on my shoulder or/and an even lighter briefcase type bag with the other hand. I switched to backpacks which distributed the weight more evenly.

Also, if I have to walk more than say 1KM at a time, absolutely no heels and preferably sneakers or better still, my Brooks which I use for running. I know it aint glamourous, but it saves my back. In summer birenstocks do the job pretty well too.

[laura]

chiropractic!!! I cannot say enough. To find a good one, just ask around for recommendations until you find someone who RAVES about their chiropractor. Otherwise, you risk getting a quack. lol.

My midwife was a great place to start for a referral - I go to the one she went to while she was pregnant!

[hedra]

I can't read comments, no life. Or rather, too much life, no time.

Back pain for me comes largely from reduced abdominal muscle strength (core strength). Lots of other factors affect it, but the post-baby back pain was very closely tied to the loss of abdominal support for my organs, plus the extra weight, all pulling on a 'dropped sling' of muscles across my belly - picture where the organs are now resting, and what is holding them up - belly muscles, connected to back muscles.

I had to remember to practice putting my pelvis UNDER my organs, standing and sitting properly to let the bones do more support and the muscles do less, until my muscles recovered. Tuck the tailbone down, never cock it back (not arching lower back). It is a belly-dance posture (raise and open chest, tuck tailbone toward floor), so I know it pretty well, and it always helped.

Chiropractic is a big help for ep, whose back actually has too deep a curve in the bone structure of the lower spine (has since he was a kid), creating that sling-off-the-back-muscles-effect as a standard deal.

My stress all comes out in upper back pain (shoulders/neck), but that's separate.

Oh, and for twin moms, I highly recommend using the belly support band to kind of hold the organs in place a little for a few weeks as everything finds its home again. I swear, every time I stood up after the girls were born (vag birth), it felt like all my organs were going to spill out onto the floor, and they were sucking my lungs with them - it was hard to breathe, the drop was so far. NO abs left after that stretch. The back pain was intense. Proper nursing position helped keep it from being constant, though. (I'm large busted, but I need to nurse 'high' to keep from curling forward, and have to have my feet propped. I nursed either crosslegged on the floor or bed, or in a recliner with the foot up, if I didn't have something to put my feet on.)

For me, shoes have not been the problem, provided I keep my pelvis where it belongs. My feet might hurt if I wear the wrong shoes, but not my back. Oh, and ditto on emptying the purse. That's a big stupid for me (I emptied mine recently only to discover that not only did I have ROCKS in it, literally, but the lining had torn and a bunch of change had sifted between the lining and the outside, so it was a nice metal weight at the bottom that I couldn't see... whee.).

[doe-a-dear]

Is it pain from getting older or lugging around the kids and their paraphanalia on foot in a big city sans car? Or both? I am in pretty good shape, do regular muscle strengthening exercise, aerobic exercise and no more of that high-impact, boot-camp style stuff that ruined my knees in my twenties. But I still get the aches and pains, sometimes neck, sometimes upper thigh-sciatic nerve, lower back, wrist-arm pains. I am not ready to make time for massage, although this would probably be a great idea. I make a lot of movements everyday that are very bad for me (balancing heavy three year old on my wrist which is attached to a stroller handle, being anchored by the heavier 5 year old sitting in the stroller.) Sometimes, you have to do it to make that subway!

So what do I do to help?
I wear good walking shoes all day, and save the pretty shoes for the very-occasional dinner out with husband. I try to be conscious of my posture while sitting. Now this is difficult, because slouching is so relaxing, but I make a point of it. Adamantly do core workouts to strengthen back, hips and abs. Make sleeping a priority. This often means missing out on my wonderful 'me' time after the kids are asleep, because at least 3 days per week I make myself fall asleep with them at 8pm.

Like I said, I am conscious of what I do everyday that is contributing to the pains, but some of it is just unavoidable and I try to compensate by sticking to my above-written rules.

[Kelly]

I found, when mine were very little, I had a lot of upper back pain directly related to the constant looking down at them that I did while they were snuggled up against my chest. For most people this wouldn't be an issue but I found out that I don't have *any* curve to my cervical vertebrae (neck). Was there an easy solution to this? No. I got a more supportive pillow and tried my best to not strain my neck in that manner as much.

These days I have a problem pulling one of my rhomboid muscles (along the spine, between the shoulder blades) and I have no idea how I do it but it happens all the time after all sorts of activities.

Children are a pain in the neck (and back)!

[MLB]

I'm not sure if this has been mentioned already, but I actually found the nursing stool (Medela makes one) incredibly helpful. It really forces you, or forced me, to bring the baby to breast rather than bend over to it. I think that can help a lot with the nursing related back pain.

[amanda]

i second the suggestion of a stool. it needn't be fancy...my "nursing" stool was a $10 plastic utility stool from target that functioned as a step stool for getting in/out of my birthing pool, then nursing stool, and now my son's toothbrushing/handwashing stool. best multi-functional purchase ever!

Physical Therapy also helped me a lot in the early months post-partum. the nice thing about PT is it is covered by insurance usually even when massage isn't...

[Cobblestone]

@Anna - oh the wrist pain! I wondered why nobody ever warned me about how much my wrists would hurt - and now I realize I am not warning people either because that was firmly in the sleep deprived haze.

I wore velcro wrist supports, I'm not sure they did anything other than remind me to use my wrists well - but that was enough.