Puppy love: I'm confused

First of all, I'd like to think I coined the word Nobelama at 10:09 am Eastern Time today, but maybe someone else beat me to it.

Now, for today's topic. Young crushes.

I happen to know a boy in second grade who has been the recipient of some slightly amorous attention (a kiss on the cheek at recess) from a girl. He seemed conflicted about the attention ("I kind of didn't like it, but kind of liked it."). And then a few days ago he told me how beautiful the girl's eyes are.

Then today I heard about another boy the same age who had a mash note from another child in his class in his school backpack.

This is all too soon!

I'm not talking about early sexualization, which we all know happens and is not good. I'm talking about crushes and puppy love and developing romantic attachments to other kids the same age.

When does it happen? When should it happen? Are we faster here in North America than in other places?

Should I be worried about this? Should you be worried about this?

If 40 is the new 20, and I'm 36 right now, does that mean my son and I could be going through adolescent romantic woes at the same time?

Who was your first real-life crush? (Mine was a kid in the fourth grade, when I was in second grade, who sang "Longer Than" at the elementary school talent show in 1980.) Do you think having crushes like that helps us develop emotionally, or hurts us in the long run?

Talk to me.

Comments

[Moriah]

No need to worry! He's fine.

I had a boyfriend (the same kid) through first and second grade. I think I chased him down and kissed him once. And he once made me a love letter on the last day of school. Funny enough...he was one of my longest relationships until I started dating my current love.

It is all innocent and fun and necessary.

[enu]

I had a long term (year long) relationship at age 5. It was a beautiful thing. We were going to get married. But then he had to go away for a year (we corresponded; considering we could barely write, it was a bit of a challenge), and he came back different.

I don't think there's anything to be concerned about. And I don't think it's anything new, at all.

[Jenny]

Personally, I first fell in love at five. Deep, abiding, faithful, unrequited love, until the age of twelve. Sigh. He was quite a guy (he hit me over the head with a rubber fried egg and my heart was his.) Maybe it was too soon for our star-crossed love, but try telling that to a five-year-old...

[maria]

My daughter has been telling me all about a certain boy who is "really mean" at school… but lo and behold we ran into him at the grocery store a few days ago and it was all "Where is he? Where is he??" So I think we've got a little crushiness going on at our house as well.

I was so emotionally retarded that I didn't have this experience. But I tend to think it's a good thing to practice with this stuff early, when the stakes and risks are low (with strong caveats about early sexualization being bad, of course.

[MemeGRL]

Another one here with a first love in second grade. I stayed true to him all the way to sixth grade, when he asked me to dance at the first song after the break at the first dance and we danced together the rest of the night. My heart was broken when we never danced again but we were always friendly and will always have a special place in each other's hearts. Never kissed, never even held hands, but really had a special friendship, especially that second grade year. Fear not. And be honored to be raising a boy that a girl can single out!

[hush]

No worries, Moxie - he's normal!

My first crush was T.J. in the 4th grade. He was the first boy ever to call my house. My dad had this sad "I'm not ready for this!!" look on his face when he handed me the phone!

It's also normal to have same sex crushes! And remember, no one ever asks kids who tell them of their opposite sex crushes if they're "just a phase."

[CaliBoo]

Perfectly normal. I had a friend K-2 that I would have followed over the edge of a cliff, I don't think I ever tried to plant one on him but I was absolutely smitten.
Validation, fast forward 25-odd years - he found me on facebook! It was great to see how he turned out after all these years, and he remembered me too. Aww...

[MrsHaley]

I totally had a crush in 4th grade, so I guess it's normal ... but thinking of it in relation to my own children makes my SKIN CRAWL. I think I will have to be very vigilant about my own feelings making that sort of thing more of a 'big deal' than it really is. I think I would have a very hard time with concrete demonstrations -- like mash notes, phone calls or little gifts. That's probably where my hard line would be.

[Summertime]

I think almost everyone had the all important first crush about that time. I do remember my mom being very understanding about it but also explaining that I and my friends were way, way too young to have boyfriends and girlfriends though. It bothered her, and now bothers me, when someone is like, "oh so-and-so has a little boyfriend" when the kid is five years old or whatever. It's just an extra push that they don't need, in my opinion. Plenty of time for all that!

[Cecily]

I had two boys -- Victor and David -- get into a fist fight over me in first grade. :)

But after that? I didn't really start "going" with boys until middle school (and at best we just held hands) and there was only one boy in middle school I even really remember because he totally broke my little heart when he dumped me for another girl.

I don't even remember having crushes before 5th grade or so. Weird, huh?

I agree that we should be careful about kids calling their friends "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" although I don't even know if they understand the term. Sigh.

[Cobblestone]

Rob in the second grade. So lovely and so good on the spider web monkey bars. Sigh.

My son had his first girlfriend as soon as they both could move. Scrambled to each other when they got to daycare and spent everyday getting to each other... out of the bouncy chair-over to her. Out of the highchair - over to him. Wake up from naptime - find her. Pats on the face, hugs, and baby kisses before he ever gave them to anybody else. Sweet M- how she is missed.

[Tzipporah]

Cecily - OMG, me too! The funny thing? I couldn't stand either one of them. :)

I have fond memories of "boys chase girls" and "girls chase boys" all over the playground, and pretend weddings out by the swing sets.

I think part of what's going on is that the kids have just realized there's a difference between boys and girls, and the basic models they have for male/female relationships are romantic (their parents, friends' parents).

So they're just trying it on, to figure out what it means to be a boy or a girl.

Then they get on with more important things, like whether Batman can beat Superman.

[June]

Oh yeah, I had a big crush on a boy in first grade and still have the Valentine he gave me!

[paola]

Well, my 4.5 year old has had a string of them since starting kindergarten at 3. Of course he doesn't give it a label, but there is always a new little girl on the scene. I think it is cute. I'm not bothered by it, but I also don't want to encourage it by saying that Noah has a 'fidanzatina', something I hear from grandparents all too often here. According to him, he actully got in a fight over one of his girls ( something that has neither been confirmed or denied by anyone else)

And so far it has only been with the opposite sex. He talks about some big boys he has in his class (the class is mixed age from 3-6), that teach him cool things like armpit farts and the like, but he really does talk about them more in a comrady way or someone to look up to.

[A]

I agree with Tzipporah that they are trying on the whole question of what it means to be a boy or a girl, but I disagree that they don't understand when they say boyfriend or girlfriend. I have two first grade girls, so we spend an inordinate amount of time on these questions. Who has a boyfriend, what is a boyfriend as opposed to a friend who is a boy. Along with what are the differences between a girly-girly, a tomboy, a boyish-girl and a girlish-boy, which I think is about trying to see themselves in a social context and understand differences in interests and reactions. They watch (some, limited) TV, so they know what the norms are for teens, they see parents (their own and others; complicated by having two moms) and they are very curious about how it works and what it all means. Since it is so universal, I assume it is developmental rather than something we are imposing on them. They have been trying to figure out who they are in relation to the rest of the world since forever, so I think this is just part of the whole process. I try to focus on encouraging them to find friends (boys and girls) who are nice kids.

[Jenny]

I too had a crush on someone in the 2nd grade. We did MASH letters and all that in the 2nd grade as well... And, I hate to think about this now that I'm a parent, but we had "Boy/Girl" parties as early as the 4th grade. That's the first time I remember people playing "Seven Minutes in Heaven." My first REAL kiss (all tongue-y and elaborate) was in the 5th grade, and we had a contest to see who could kiss the longest.

Ugh, I am slightly relieved that my first is a boy... Here's hoping my first attempt at parenting through the teenage years with a boy will be easier than with a girl.

[flea]

My 6 year old is very into crushes, and has been since Pre-K. Actual conversation we had 9 months ago: her: "What if Logan from [our old city] was my true love? And I might never see him again?" Me: "Well, if he's really your true love, you will probably run into each other again. Preferably when you are adults." (I wonder if we'd recently watched The Princess Bride?)

I had some intentions of marrying two different boys in K and 1st grade, and had a long-term crush on our older (like, 5th grader) neighbor who helped my dad move a VW Bug engine. I have continued this pattern of crushes - but it didn't lead to any sexual precocity, rather the opposite.

[doe-a-deer]

My 5 year old tends to have crushes on older girls (8-12 year olds) or characters in his books (also older-looking females). He usually shows his affection by acting like a robot in front of them...which has not yielded great results, ha!, but he seems not the least bit bothered, and my husband and I find it incredibly endearing:) A girl in his class has a crush on him, and he finds her and her adoration annoying.

I second summertime's and paola's comments about not pushing the boyfriend/girlfriend categorization. We talk about feelings rather than label anything. My in-laws love to tease kids..."so and so has a girlfriend". Blah, I go head to head with the oma and opa on that issue constantly.

[Erica]

I think it's normal for kids to emulate romantic feelings. It is all part of learning about the concept of attraction and love.
I, myself, had a crush on the same boy from first grade through fifth grade, and many of my friends had crushes and "boyfriends" throughout elementary school as well.

[meggiemoo]

When I was in first grade, the girls were far more aggressive than the boys, and we would chase the boys we liked (and they would RUN!). I remember that a boy I had a crush on actually called my house (no idea why), and when I found out that my mother had told him to call back later because I was in the bathroom, I was mortified. Now he'd picture me in the bathroom!

A few years later, a boy dedicated "You're Every Woman in the World" to me during couples' skate at the skating rink (ah, skating rinks...), and then gave me a KISS poster and a very ugly necklace that my mother made me return after we found out he'd taken it from his mother's jewelry box!

My almost 4y.o. seems to be having same sex crushes right now on the older boys in his class. He'll probably be a bit emotionally delayed, but watch out for his baby sister. She flirts with anyone and everyone...

[SarcastiCarrie]

I had my first "boyfriend" (Matthew) in pre-school (age 3 or 4). He (his mom?) sent us a Christmas card when I was 4. We ended up in different school districts. Sigh. However, we wound up going to the same, small university. But, Matthew was not my true love. I was not interested in him at all as an adult.

As a freaky aside, Matthew went to the same, private Catholic HS on the south side of Chicago as the man who wound up my fiance (but ultimately, not my husband).

[Schwa de Vivre]

Just this week, my 21 month old son was holding hands with an older woman (3 or 4 years old) at the playground. It was an odd mix of friendly, romantic, and older-sister/younger-brother. I thought it was lovely.

I had a boyfriend in kindergarten/first grade. To be honest, I don't remember if it spanned the two years or not. I do remember that we held hands a lot (and got in trouble with the teacher for it!), and that it was all over when his older siblings made me kiss him at his birthday party (in front of everybody! I wasn't ready for kissing!)

I'm pretty much with everyone else here, and I'll add that I think the tenor of it tends to be romantic but not sexual, if that makes sense. In any case, that was my experience.

[Jessie]

My first crush was Brian in the first grade. I don't even remember what he looked like, but I remember his name.

I also remember that one day at dinner I felt compelled to tell my mother that I had chased Brian around the playground at recess. Rather than an "Aw, isn't that cute??" or a "Jessie's got a boyfriend!", she said:

"It's not because you like him, is it?"

"...No."

"Good."

I love my mom.

[Amy]

My 4 year old daughter got in the car the very first week of 4K and as I am driving down the street she says "I held hands today with _ _" I nearly drove off the road. She says his complete name, not just his first name, when she is talking about him!! I had a boyfriend in Kindergarten. I remember it like it was yesterday. One of us kissed the other on the cheek, can't swear it wasn't me that did the kissing..Awww.. I think its all normal..

[Yes, anon today too]

First grade. David Kirschenbaum. He could sing "Frère Jacques" in four languages. Be still my beating heart.

My husband says he remembers having crushes on girls as a very small toddler; among his first memories are the girls he liked.

I think everyone varies, and it's all normal and all good.

[Karin]

My first crush was at 4. I told him we were going to get married. He cried. From then on, I had countless crushes...all very innocent, really. First boyfriend, complete with clumsy kissing, was at 15. I like to think I was fairly normal! I grew up in Finland, by the way, so I wouldn't worry about it being a North American thing.

[Christiana]

I was "engaged" in Pre-K, but decided against the marriage when I found out his last name was something horrible. I received love notes from a boy in 3rd grade every day for most of the year. We were friends, but nothing more happened beyond the notes and when he accidentally slammed my finger in a car door, he gave a piece of jewelry.

I think as long as it stays in that innocent stage, it's fine. But when the munchkins are pushing it beyond that, it crosses the line.

I think the kiss on the cheek reaction (I didn't like it/I kinda liked it) is pretty normal. Who doesn't want to feel liked or attractive to another human? It's akin to saying that this person thinks you're nice, or wants to be your friend, etc. But it's an awkward and embarrassing age for them to be receiving that type of attention (I'd suggest to him that he not accept any more kisses).

[nej]

Nathan Money. I wonder what ever happened to him. He was handsome, considerate and in my Kindergarten class. Yup, my first crush was in Kindergarten.

Actually, I was in love with a boy that walked me down the aisle. I was the flower girl, he was the ring bearer and his name was Andy. And we were well under 5, so my first crush was pre-Nathan.

I also had a crush on my cousin Johnny. He was a teenager-early 20's, in the marines, and was one of those guys that knows how to make you feel beautiful and important and paid-attention-to...it's just his personality. I must have been around 6 or 7 when it developed and wasn't until my wedding that I saw him again and confessed.

I haven't really thought this through, but I suspect that my crushes helped. They sort of socialized me and helped me figure out what was and wasn't appropriate, what appealed to me about the opposite sex, etc. The older I got, the more um, refined my tastes got and from every relationship I tired to take away some more self-knowledge. That doesn't mean I didn't make mistakes, and when I look back and think about how many men I auditioned for the part of husband...luckily, I made the right choice and picked a wonderful husband, and now my only "crush" in on Brian Williams.

[Katy]

My mom actively discouraged my sisters and I from ever talking about boys, so we kept it quiet, though I did have a "fiance" from about age 3 in a family friend. We got "married" when we were 8, in their basement; his little brother officiated. So much for mom's squelching. We each went on to marry others, but we're still sweet on each other.

My son has a galpal at school - they held hands at recess every day for three months! Then she moved on to play princess with the girls and his heart is broken. But she's still Miss Special for him.

Scary note: Another child in my son's K class got a crush on a girl and threatened other boys ("I'll kill you if you come near her") that escalated to a meeting of both families (his n hers) with the principal. It's so frustrating, b/c he was a good kid otherwise and she was incredibly shy, easy to dominate. Little microcosm of domestic scariness, in barely-5-yr-olds. It's calmer now.

[Charisse]

Mouse, who's 5 1/2 and in kindergarten, has wanted to marry 3 or 4 different boys and one girl, counting preschool ones. At the moment, a nice boy named E in the other kindergarten section drew her a cool picture, so she sort of wants to marry him...but there's another boy she'd like to play with who only wants to play games she doesn't know, so she's kind of frustrated by that.

It all seems fairly innocent and age-appropriate to me--I just try not to be too hetero about it, and make sure that we smile just as much about crushes on girls as boys.

Sidetrack: you know what did freak me out this week? She said "mommy, I really don't like my hands because they're fat"...um, GAAAAHHHH. What? Does this start now?

[Rbelle]

I let a boy named Derek kiss me on the cheek when I was in first grade - but he also kissed my best friend, allegedly on the lips (!). She was kind of boy crazy, even then, and I think she started "going with" boys as early as 3rd or 4th grade. I was not allowed to date until highschool, which led to a very tortured 8th grade year during which I probably "fell in love" for the first time. Crushwise, though, I can remember pretending to have crushes on the same actors and musicians my friends did when I was 7 or 8, but not actually understanding what the big deal was. First real crush was probably not until 5th grade, when I'd watch Jacob Pace hit baseballs all the way to the schoolyard fence. Sigh.

[hedra]

Started out with a crush on this really cute boy in 1st grade. He ignored me, but became best friends with my big brother. And then one day he hid my barbie doll (the one I usually fed to the sheep all wrapped up in vines, screaming 'aaah mutant sheep!'.. heh). Anyway, he hid her, and wouldn't tell me where he'd hid her, so I socked him one, right in the eye. Knocked him over.

And *bam* crush city. I think him suddenly respecting me mattered (funny how that has been a big deal my whole life...) We used to walk back and forth from his house to mine (about a mile) holding hands. When we were a little older, we'd go hiking or look for snakes and owls or dig up stuff together.

He kissed me on the head when we were in 3rd grade or so. His first kiss on a girl, he said (I didn't notice, actually, I thought he was breathing kinda close, though). He moved away. Moved back, and in jr. high (middle school) he was my first kiss, too (though he'd kissed other girls by then). I moved away next, and we lost touch. He was cute.

I left the whole crush thing for a while after that, though.

It was good emotional exercise, I think. Not just trying it on, but practicing the feelings, getting acclimated to the rush, how to act, how NOT to act...

Mr G has a girl with a crush on him. She's gorgeous, smart, interesting, similar likes/dislikes, and SERIOUSLY does not know how to communicate her feelings without pissing him off. She spent months stealing his lunch foods and sneaking them to other people so he spent most of his lunch break reassembling his meal, and then didn't get time to eat it. Uh. Men PLUS food equals affection, not men MINUS food! LOL! She goes totally giddy around him, it's cute.

He likes her fine, but not a crush thing back (more a friend thing, and better once she left his food alone). He had more of a crush on the Swedish girl down the street (though that was pretty mild, too - but again, practicing the responses... he'll be stuck in her history, though, because he's the first boy who bought her jewelry, something nice, too). But she moved, too.

Mr B had three girls in Kindy who fought over who was going to marry him. In pre-K, they used to pay him (cash money!) to play with them at recess... he would have played with them anyway, but was happy to take the cash, too. Yeah, OMG. Uh, honey, we don't do that. It's not ethical. Oy.

And Miss M has a boy with a crush on her in pre-K, too. We know because he takes her work at school and hides it from her, and is always BUGGING her. She cannot fathom why someone who wants them to LIKE her would bother her while she's WORKING. I mean, seriously! Working, here! Sheesh! But Mr G kindly explained that really, the boy just liked her and wanted her to pay attention to him. Her response: I'll play with him at recess, but not during work time!

Anyway. I think it's fine. I'm not at all alarmed by it, I just keep it out in the open so it can be discussed and dealt with as a skills for life thing. (I remember reading anthro texts on 'normal' childhood, and there is a LOT of 'early sexualization' behavior in tribal cultures... so it ain't just 'us'.)

I wouldn't call me normal, though - too much bad history to have a 'normal' response in there.

[Kim]

My first crush was on a boy named Roger. We were in kindergarten and he chased me around the playground, caught me (I let him!) and gave me a kiss on the cheek. The next day, I borrowed my mom's red lipstick and kissed his cheek while wearing it ~ which got me in BIG trouble with the teacher and with my mom. ;)

My second crush was Kenneth in the 2nd grade ~ he was so cute, with his chili bowl haircut and his love for ice skating ~ we played "Dorothy Hamil" every day at recess...he was the coach and I was the skater. LOL He stuck up for me when the older boys (3-4th graders) made fun of my clothes, and wrote me long notes every day. I never kissed him, though.

We moved around a lot, so I never saw those boys after each school year ~ I was always in a different school by the time the summer concluded ~ but I'll never forget them or the way they made me feel.

I also had a crush on my much-older cousin ~ that was unrequieted. He was so kind to me and never made me feel stupid or like I was "just a girl".

I think it's perfectly normal for small children to fall "in love" with other children...I even remember telling my mom that I was going to marry my daddy, and that she could marry Elvis! LOL That way, we'd both be happy. :D I think I was about 4 or 5 at the time.

In my experiences, humans seem to be hardwired to fall in love with each other...and those school crushes give us important clues on how we love and are loved.

[Julie]

Great topic! I had my first crush at 3 or 4. It was nursery school love in the 1970s. I went to school with this guy all the way to grade 10 and it amused me a great deal the older I got. (The crush didn't last beyond elementary school). I was hanging out with friends and their kids earlier this summer and the two two-year-olds were having a hugging-smooching fest. It was initiated by the little boy (who is just a darling) and the subject of the affection was a little confused. It was like those classic Pepé Le Pew episodes from Loony Toons.

[sfsaf]

Oh yeah! I remember this stuff in 1st grade! The boy known as the "kissing bandit." Then there was the boy with the runny nose who would run as fast as he could across the school yard to impress me.

I can remember having a crush on boys from a very young age and at every age. Some harmless some quite intense....I think it is normal and healthy.

It's like flirting...it can be innocent or it can be problematic depending on where it comes from. The harmless crush and the harmless flirt have more to do with how it makes the crush-er or the flirter feel.

But ask me again when MY son is in 2nd grade. I may have a different answer.

[Kelly]

I spent my preschool days singing along with Olivia Newton John to, "Hopelessly Devoted to You" and thinking of a boy in my class. By second grade I was writing love notes to two other boys.

Though I hope that my daughters can hold off a few more years to go boy crazy, I don't think this is anything new.

[ramy]

40 is the new 20? awesome!

my daughter totally has a crush on one little boy. He moved on but she didn't, which is apparently ok b/c he still plays with her all the time.

she's not quite 5.

it freaked me out at first but not nearly as much as the beginning of this school year when she told me she and her best girlfriend kissed "but not with tongue" (said very giggly and conspiratorily). Anything with tongue freaks me out. we had a talk about personal space and kissing--haven't heard much about it since.

[Kate]

I don't know if what my 3 1/2 year old has is a crush, but he and a little girl in his nursery school class are totally attached at the hip. Her mom reports that he lights up in a huge grin when she walks into school (he gets there first in the morning) and she insists on bringing a bag of cereal that they share together at the little table. They are the only two native English speakers in their class, but are also equally thrilled to see each other outside of school--we were with this child's family on a group trip this week and the two little ones insisted on sitting next to each other on the bus (rather than next to their sisters or next to their parents!).

My Kindergarten crush was Jonathan Pape. I remember his name and that he was blond. That's it. I crushes all the time through elementary school; nothing serious (i.e., that I acted upon) until 7th grade.

[Anna]

@doe-a-deer, I commend you on your vigilance with oma and opa. Stick with it!

I had a lot of early crushes (2nd+ grade: "Do you like Erik? Check box for yes or no."), went out with boy-girl groups and to dances in 6th grade, and had my first one-on-one date at 14. Got dumped a lot in high school because I was "too slow" getting around the bases, so I didn't really date again until college.

Anyway, as a pre-teen, I used to hate it when my grandmother asked me if I had a boyfriend. I'd usually just shrug and think to myself: "I'm just 11. Give me a break already!"

[Gillian]

Definitely age five. I wanted nothing more than slobbery kisses from him. Then I had a three-year crush in grades 3, 4 and 5 on someone I was CONVINCED it was REAL love (looking back, duh, it was not). I have never, ever thought that boys were gross!

[Nancy Kirk]

My first crush was in kindergarten on Eddie L. My little heart pounded every day. In third grade, Melvin asked me to go to the movies. My mother said she would not allow me to go out with boys in short pants. I told her he wore long pants. She laughed. I do not think that was very sensitive. By high school, I'd had a few boyfriends but became very shy. So, I don't think it hurts us to have crushes, but I do think parents ought to be sensitive to them.

[mida]

My first crush was in 1st grade. I didn't grow up in the US, Moxie, so it's not a North America thing.

[anon_today]

Ahhh...my brother's friend Michael. I was probably in 3rd grade or so which would have put him in 7th. I still google him from time to time and am admittedly a bit pleased that, last I heard, his marriage didn't work out.

[ramy]

and I forgot to add, my first crush (circa-mid 70s) was in kindergarten. I used to dream about him all through elementary school. He had red hair--I've been a sucker for brilliant red hair ever since.

[bungalowgirl]

I was five and seriously swoony over a boy in my kindergarten class, so I made him a card asking him to marry me and slipped it into his lunchbox. It never occured to me that he might not be able to read it without help until he asked the teacher to read it for him -- which she did -- in front of the whole class. The humiliation killed that crush right then and there. Unfortunately, it must have ignited something in him, because he followed me around the for the rest of the year calling me "Love Life" which irritated me beyond belief.

After that, I always had a thing for the guys who played hard to get (and I worked very hard to keep my crushes under wraps.)

I don't think early crushes (if in fact kindergarten is considered early) are indicative of precocious sexuality or a proclivity for promiscuity. For what it's worth, I was 15 before I kissed anyone and didn't lose my virginity until I was in my early 20s.

With crushes I had in childhood, there was really nothing sexual about them at all - more of an innocent adoration.

My daughter also had a crush on a little boy in her kindergarten class last year. She wanted nothing more than to sit with him at lunch, but he always wanted to sit with other little boys. She talked about this little boy for MONTHS and admitted to her dad and I that she wanted to marry him someday. She FINALLY got to eat lunch with him one day, realized he wasn't a vegetarian, and POOF - the crush was over.

I think these little crushes are all just part of growing up and it happens for different kids at different ages.

I will say, the whole idea of love and marriage and soulmates, etc. is probably ingrained in a lot of little girls by the Disney princess movies, if they're allowed to watch them. We try to limit that stuff at our house, but it sometimes seems to be everywhere else we go!

[KatEd]

I think puppy love is totally normal (I had two boyfriends at 4 years old) however sometimes sexual harassment starts early too. It may be important to have these conversations way earlier than seems rational. In second grade a boy and girl cornered me and forced me to pull down my pants. Where were the teachers? It still makes me upset thinking about it. Luckily they did nothing more, but there were other elementary school bullies that did scary things like follow me home from school yelling about how they were going to rape me. Maybe it was growing up in such an urban area that made things worse. Anyway, I grew up fine and possibly more street savvy than others. I kind of knew this behavior was wrong but no one had really said so at that young age so I never told my parents. Puppy love great, kitten abuse not okay.

[Rebeca Ramirez]

I just am looking for your email. Could you email me your address at rebecaramirezhaskell@hotmail.com?

[Mari]

I was three when I had my first crush. Am Norwegian. Did not have sex till 17.

[pepper]

I don't know if this counts, but my little boy (19 months) was at the park the other day and fell for a gorgeous 4 year old girl, blond curls, caramel skin, green eyes. Even I could tell she was a heart breaker. She smiled at him, and told him he was cute. He went right up to her, put his arms around her, and asked for hugs then sort of started a slow dance. I couldn't believe it, it was beautiful but I was a little dismayed as well. My BABY, I thought I was his one and only!

[toomuchstrong]

First grade. The most beautiful boy in school. I still remember his name. Daniel. So dreamy. I had a huge crush on him until 5th grade when I had to change schools. Then a new crush started. :-)