Q&A: baby likes bland foods?

"Working in the coal mines, going down down down..."

I have had so much to do that I actually FORGOT to post yesterday, and didn't even realize it until around midnight last night. My apologies.

Bonnie writes:

"A quick question. I started my baby on solids at 5.5 months old because he seemed ready for it. For about 2 weeks he LOVED his solids. We didn't really follow the "4-day-rule" (wait a few days before introducing new foods) because neither his father nor I (nor our immediate families) have any allergies. We did mostly fruits and vegs - carrots, sweet potatoes, parsnips, peas, apples, pears, spinach, zucchini, broccoli, roasted peppers, potatoes, etc., pureed. He'd just eat, eat, eat, so we limit solids to just once a day. Some days I would give him 3 or 4 different types of vegs (I figured that if _I_ don't want to eat only potatoes, he probably wouldn't either, so wanted to make it a bit more exciting in the flavour department by offering him different types. He'd eat all of it.) - and dessert might be some apple or pear with cereal. We love our vegs so we mostly offer him vegs.

About a week ago he started to refuse his solids. Pursed lips, turning away, whining, etc. We think it was (is?) teething-related. Also one night I gave him tomatoes (bad baby cookbook suggestion for "first tastes") and it made him vomit later in the night, probably the acidity. He has just started to seem to accept solids again, but he would only take cereal (bland) and maybe some pureed veg mixed into it. He doesn't open his mouth wide in eager anticipation the way he used to. He is no longer into the flavours he loved, and certainly no longer the champion eater he used to be. Now, his father and I love our food. We are very adventurous eaters. So it is a little upsetting to us that our baby now only wants bland baby food. Do you have any ideas as to why he is rejecting the flavourful stuff? Is my kid going to live off of cereal for the rest of his life?"

Remember back before you had a baby and you thought yours would be sleeping through the night within a few weeks? Or that it would all be gradual, so once your kid slept for five hours straight one night her sleep would just stretch out longer and longer and soon she'd be asleep all night?

Well, pretty much everything with a baby is forward and back, forward and back. Feeding seems to  be particularly susceptible to leaps and surges and retrenching and backsliding and just plain orneriness.

I think there's a whole lot going on with your baby and babies in general about eating. The first thing is that they pretty much have ultimate flexibility with eating at this age (Bonnie doesn't say how old her son is, but I'm guessing in the 7-8-month age range). Since their main nutrition still comes from breastmilk or formula, they can pretty much eat or reject anything else, and it's not going to leave them hungry or malnourished. So it's all just At The Pleasure Of The King.

While that can be annoying for you, it's also kind of freeing, because it means no meal, or even series of meals, is high stakes in the least.

Let's list all the other stuff going on for a baby in this age range: teething, movement, growth spurts, developmental spurts, increased awareness of self, sleep stuff, seasonal changes. It's a whole lot going on, and any one of those things can affect how much, what, and when they want to eat, so add it all in together and it can be a big unpredictable mess.

The other thing (and this is Idea #1 To Keep In Mind About Toddler Eating) is that controlling what they put in their mouths and consequently swallow is often the only form of control kids can exert over themselves and their environments. So it could be the beginnings of playing with that control, or it could be a refusal flat out because he's feeling pushed in other areas. (If you're reading this and having battles with a toddler about eating, try giving your kid a lot more choices and control in other areas and see if that helps alleviate the food battles.)

So the good news is that what your son's eating now is not a predictor of future performance. He could grow up to be an Anthony Bourdainian omnivore who eats things that freak even you out (mmmm...raw sea urchin...). But he could turn out to be more like my first son, who thinks there are only two food groups: white things and butter. You kind of never know. And there's only so much you can do about it. Your job is still to put a variety of nutritious foods in front of your kid, and his job is to eat what he needs. (By now I'm just hoping that some day my older son marries a nice lady or man who will introduce him to the pleasures of eating foods with pigment.)

So you keep on eating what you eat, and offering it to your son, and he'll probably get back to it. But maybe he won't. And it's OK. There are plenty of awesome, amazing, deeply-worthwhile people who only eat a limited range of foods.

Readers, whaddayagot? Is a once picky eater an always picky eater? Anyone else have tomato escapades? (I know I've posted about the mysterious waking my older one had every night when he was two about an hour after he'd gone to sleep, and I finally figured out that he'd been having tomato sauce or ketchup at dinner every night. Once I limited the tomato products to before 3 pm he slept fine again. Duh.) Can you truly love a person who only eats 10 foods? Does anyone else like sea urchin, or am I the only one?

Comments

[Fiona]

Is it possible that this baby is just a little overwhelmed by all the variety? I mean, that's a heck of a list of foods for a baby who might be only 5 or 6 weeks into eating solids.

MFK Fisher wrote in one of her books about her theory that children taste foods with much greater subtlety than adults. Because they haven't dulled their palates with smoking, alcohol, and use, she thought, they can taste things in mashed potatoes and noodles that we no longer detect. She used this idea to explain why children love bland foods while adults hunger for spicy, salty, sweet, complicated flavors.

So is it possible that Picky Baby got a little overwhelmed by so many options, so many new flavors?

[Sandra]

The huz and I quietly patted ourselves on the back for the fact that our new-to-solids son chowed down on just about anything. Even gorgonzola cheese, straight up. But then, at a little over a year old, his food tastes abruptly shifted and all of a sudden he would *freak out* about new foods, as well as foods he'd been eating for months. I remember picking up one of Ellen Sattler's (not sure if I spelled that right) books at that time that talked about toddlers' inherent fear of the unknown, and of course, need for control, as Moxie mentioned. It's been a while since I read it, so I could be totally misquoting, but that's the take-home message I ended up with.

We rode it out - continuing to offer foods and letting him choose what he wanted to eat, though I'll admit, there were days when I wondered (OK, still wonder), whether he is about 98% pasta (whole wheat, but still), since that is his favorite food in the entire world, thank you very much.

Now that he's 2 1/2, he's back to his more adventurous eating, and his palate's pretty varied (though it kills me that any hint of spiciness in his food is met with, "Uh-oh! It's spicy!" I *love* spicy foods). He will still on occasion refuse to eat a new food. Our "rule" (adopted from day care), is that we encourage him to at least "try it" (i.e., lick it) before he can decide he doesn't want it.

We also try to model eating a wide variety of foods. Lore has it that when the huz was a kid, he subsisted on hot dogs and air. Now (after meeting me, I might add), he'll eat just about anything. Including the chickens' feet that my father talked him into at dim sum. That only happened once, though :)

OK, before I write a novel here, I'll just say that one of the most challenging aspects of parenting for me is *not* projecting the kiddo's current behavior into the future. Just because he's acting crazily (and I say that in a loving way - kind of) today doesn't mean that he'll still be doing it in 10 years. Or even tomorrow. I hope.

[Sandra]

@Fiona - That's interesting about the subtle tasting abilities of kids. So maybe I can stop worrying about that too, huh? :)

[Lisa]

@Sandra, do we have the same kid? I also remember patting myself on the back when my 1 year old ate fresh figs, grilled zucchini, spicy guacamole, and even lemons with gusto. Now? At almost 2 1/2 he eats pasta, pasta, and pasta. Oh, and crackers. And bread. The only protein that I can reliably get into him is bacon. Nary a fruit or vegetable. And I have no idea how that happened. I'm also trying not to make food an issue so we have pasta/bread/rice with whatever we're eating and the other food gets put on his plate and if he doesn't eat it, we let it be. Maybe it's working because he ate salmon yesterday. But I've learned my lesson - I'm not patting myself on the back over the salmon. I'm figuring it was a fluke!

[Lindsay]

Bonnie mentioned teething, and that rang a bell with me. My son is a good eater, but a horrible teether (what? there are kids who aren't bothered by teething? lies, I tell you!) Anyway, during the weeks that he is cutting teeth through the gums, all mealtimes are a bust. He just refuses to eat anything but a nibble no matter what we offer him. Then, a new tooth will appear, and the next morning he's chowing down again. Perhaps that could be some of her baby's trouble, as well.

[AmyinMotown]

My little guy went through this too, and if memory serves it was teething related. He's a little yung to be eating little pices of people food, but when my guy went through another spurt of "Why are you feeding me this thing I devoured yesterday!! THIS SUCKS! DISGUSTING! I thought you loved me!!!" at 10-ish months we started giving him little bits of soft things (peas are popular) and that was that, he was done with the baby food.

And do not worry that pickiness will turn him into someone who only eats at Applebee's. I was a horribly picky eater as a kid and now will at least try anything (although I hate tomato sauce on anything except pizza or lasagna). I think the modeling of eating different things is more important than what he will actually eat. I hope so anyway, my former eats-anything four year old will now eat yogurt, cheese, black beans, and tofu. And sometimes a veg and rarely a fruit. Sigh.

[Shandra]

@Sandra, I was coming to say the same thing about being careful about trying to project behaviour at any stage 10 years into the future. I think this is where so much fear comes into modern parenting - we assume that our defiant 2.5 year old is in danger of becoming a brat, and we think we must correct it now.

Remember that even in adults habits often take 90 days to change - that's all. (I know it is more complicated that that, especially relationship to food, but still.)

The other thing is that by communicating your pleasure around food you really do set your child up to enjoy it I think. I say that with a big but - BUT - remember that this is your child whom you will love even if he only ever eats white rice for the rest of his life. He will be on his own path ultimately, and although you want want want to share your love of food (and as I say, I think it's likely) the truth is that it's like any other 'love' - jazz, motorcycles, woodworking - he may or may not ultimately share it, and that is Okay.

[Insert rant on how we've gone from fetishizing junk to making good food some kind of superior cultural/quasi-moral compass.]

Anyways - I would myself recommend to the LW that she just back off and offer a variety of food and let the baby decide what to eat, and buy thee one of Ellyn Satter's books.

[katre]

My friend Matthew has actually just published a book about how he has introduced his daughter to different foods, and stayed away from the bland gerber pureed vegetables. Maybe it'll be interesting for people here:

http://hungrymonkeybook.com/

[Kate]

Two things. First it totally could be teething related. When my daughter was working on a tooth she ate pears and goldfish. That's it. Even now when she's working on her molars she's more picky and just generally doesn't eat as much.

Secondly, I'm in the camp that says it's totally going to be okay if your child eats only pasta, cereal and hot dogs or some other seemingly bland or crazy combination of foods. My brothers and I were all very picky eaters because we had tons of taste buds. All vegetables and even fruits were overwhelmingly strong. It would have been torture to have to even eat a carrot. My parents never made us eat anything and of course now as adults we all eat everything and truly enjoy food. Oh and we were all skinny, healthy, and tall kids and now two of us are very slender adults so I take all the "your kid must eat x and y but not z or they will be obese for the rest of their lives" talk with a huge grain of salt.

[hush]

Like Moxie said (about the under 1 set), "no meal, or series of meals, is high stakes in the least." Amen! I'm totally in agreement with the belief that solid foods are not even necessary until the age of 1 at the earliest. When we were figuring this out for ourselves, it was so perplexing how the different pediatricians we talked to all had slightly different recommendations... "rice cereal at 4 months," "one food at a time," "just beware of choking & allergies" etc, but when we pressed them for sources for these "recommendations" not a one had anything based on "actual research." WTF, right? So I call b.s. on a lot of this and say just do whatever is easiest for you at this age.

My data points (if you care): I was the world's pickiest eater as a child, subsisting on peanut butter & jelly sandwiches on Wonder bread and Coke for literally 12 years or so (yeah, great choices there, mom & dad!). Now I am a "Bourdainian" eater (love that), which all began in college when I finally moved away from culinary hell in the Midwest, and discovered the wonder of fabulous ethnic foods. To everything, there is a season, I suppose.

DS is now 18 mos and is an unbelievably un-picky eater (for now anyway...). He probably was just born this way. His dad was always an open-minded eater. We did a baby-led introduction of solid foods from off of our plates, letting DS grab for foods from our plates and also offering him bites of our food whenever he started to seem interested, which began about 10.5 mos. We have never prepared any food especially for him: he eats whatever we eat. We also have no allergies in the family, so that has not been a real concern, fortunately.

[Cloud]

I thought it was pretty common to start liking stronger flavors as you get older? I've always seen that attributed to a gradual decline in your ability to taste, requiring stronger flavors to "taste good". But I don't actually have any scientific literature on that, and it may be utter nonsense.

Anyway, my daughter has always been pretty picky about food, so I can't help with the "regression" aspect of the question. Our rule is not to stress about it and not to make it a power struggle. We offer the food. She decides whether to eat. Once she weaned, and we needed to know she wouldn't be waking up hungry in the middle of the night, we introduced a before bedtime snack to give her another chance to eat if she blew off dinner. We basically follow Ellyn Sater's recommendations with some modifications based on my memories of being a picky eater. (If you're really curious, I wrote up our approach at one point on my blog. I don't have time to go find that post, but if you go to my blog and search on "picky eater" you'd probably find it.)

As I mentioned, I was a picky eater as a kid. I must have driven my parents batty, but they just let me have my plain pasta or whatever while the rest of the family ate whatever they wanted. I'm still not the most adventurous eater out there, but I started diversifying slowly as I got older. I really added things when I went off to college. Now, I eat a lot more fruits and veggies than I used to. I can generally find something I'll eat at any restaurant, and I managed to spend several months traveling around Asia without starving. So there is hope!

[anna]

Oh, Moxie and gentle readers, I am so glad you raised this topic.

Son #1 ate *everything* until he was about 1 or so: and then slowly shifted to the all-beige (and fruit) toddler diet. So far, so good.

Son #2 decided to skip the omnivore stage, and go straight to the carb fest. We introduced solids at 6 months. He'll eat pureed fruit and yogurt, and any manner of carbs (crackers, naan, goldfish, cheerios, bread, pasta, etc etc): but absolutely refuses to eat actual fruit, veggies, or protein. We're getting worried: it's probably not a sensory thing (like I said, crunchy/ soft/ chewy all works if it's a carb), but what (if anything) should we do?

[Anna]

I had the opposite problem: My daughter ate almost nothing but breast milk (and only from me) until she was about 11 months. Then I realized that she HATED bland and soft foods--and hello! Indian food and Moroccan lamb stew. I congratulated myself on my little epicurian. But it turns out, of course, that it had little to do with me.

I've heard that, yes, as Fiona says, children have more sensitive tastebuds. But also that there are supertasters and nontasters (and everyone in between). Supertasters are highly sensitive to flavors and spice--the kids who only eat white food. Nontasters like it hot and intense--my little one, who will lick the salsa off her chips.

Now that she's two? Not quite so adventurous. Salami and pinto beans with sour cream, please. She gets a plate of what we eat and is free to make her choices from there.

I try not to stress about the vegetable avoidance. They are on her plate, so that's something, even if she doesn't eat them. Aand as we all know, everything could change tomorrow.

[MrsHaley]

A plug for Cloud's approach ... I STRESS about my 2.5 y/o's pickiness and reading Cloud's adventures with food was very helpful. Definitely check out her blog for some real-world perspective and techniques for managing a picky eater.

[Cynthia]

@kate, that is interesting, not to make too much of a sample size of two, but my brother and I were also very picky eaters as kids who became super adventurous eaters as adults. We're also both very thin. My husband, who my MIL claims was a great eater (and raised in a VERY strict household, kids ate what grownups ate every night, no short-order cooking there), only likes bland foods and has battled a lifelong weight problem.

[m]

My first child was an all-star eater from the first bite. If they made little varsity jackets for 6 month-3 year olds, he'd be a letter man. Until the last couple of months, that is. Now he's not so interested in food. My husband and I keep repeating the Moxie-mantra: This Too Shall Pass.

My youngest hated solids when they were first introduced. From about 6 months to 11 months he'd refuse basically anything. I was breastfeeding and so didn't seem too worried. If this had happened to my first son, I know I'd have been very upset and taken him to the doctor over it. But at about 11 months it was like a switch was flipped and he's been eating ravenously since then, as if he was making up for all those wasted months. He's now 15 months.

Funnily enough, it was at about the same time that my boys switched sides.

[Anna]

In rereading, I realized I shouldn't have framed my daughter's eating, or that of the OP's child, as a PROBLEM. It wasn't and isn't. I think both our kids fall within the range of what is normal and healthy.

[paola]

My little one( who was in the 3rd percentile for weight until around 18 months) ate a total of 10 foods until she was 17.5 months old. Crackers, banana, yogurt, a few veggies, rice and pasta, and usually pureed (especially the pasta, or she just wouldn't eat it). She was a voracious nurser though, so I knew she was getting something nutritious into her.

Of course my issue with her eating was her weight and the refusal to eat anything remotely chunky but the ped just told me to insist and she would eat 'better' in her own time.

Which was so true. At 17.5 months (around the 18 month regression) she became interested in everything and anything we had on our plates. She ate tasty cheese, Italian Cotechino, pesto, minestrone, and there has been no turning back. She has even jumped to the 10-25th percentile in weight, much to everone's surprise. Now at 28 months she is the better eater of my two children ( my son in 4). And if you had've told me this 9 months ago, I would have just laughed in your face.

[Michelle]

My money is also on teething. Plus he might be a little hesitant after the tomatoes. Especially if his little gums are sensitive. Bland foods are probably the most comforting right now with his sore gums. I bet he'll return to eating with gusto as he gets older.

He might also be a bit overwhelmed as well (as someone already noted above) I started my son on solids at around the same time but I was completely neurotic as my husband's family does have some food allergies. So by 7-8 months, my little guy was probably only getting 5-6 different fruits and veggies along with his oatmeal.

So I would keep feeding him what he seems to prefer at this point and keep eating your regular meals around him. My son eventually started grabbing things off our plates when he was ready to try something new before mommy was.

I do completely understand not wanting your kid to be a picky eater. It is one of those things that drives me up the wall and thankfully I got a kiddo that will eat anything even now at 3. But you'll likely have lots of starts/stops along the way. We did...even with a good eater. The 9 months stage when he would ONLY eat finger foods and nothing from a spoon was especially fun...not.

[SarcastiCarrie]

So, do I keep mixing up a bowl of rice cereal or oatmeal every day for my 6-month old who is so not into solids? Or do I just...something else? Not mix it, not offer it, offer it weekly, try a different food (rice was a no-go, oatmeal was better for the first bowl or two and then not-so-much)?

[paola]

@SarcasticCarrie

In Italy first solids are introduced at lunch time rather than dinner time. Not sure what time you are offering, but maybe you could switch when you feed him. My daughter didn't like rice cereal much, but loved Corn and Tapioca which is also gluten free. It's a little bit sweeter so I guess that's why she liked that more. Good luck

[Charisse]

I'm pretty sure this is totally normal, but I do remember stressing about it--Mouse initially couldn't get enough of variety in solids, but then I swear there was a period of a couple months there when she ate nothing but avocadoes, buttered rice, and cheese. I've never insisted that she only eat what we eat, mostly because she's a kid who really falls apart if she gets too hungry. We've settled on "I'd like you to try it" and a backup meal--in our case a wheat quesadilla, pinto beans, and an avocado--that takes less than 2 minutes to prepare. She's 5 now and I'd say she's average--she's willing to try most things but doesn't like every vegetable, eats salad but only sometimes, hates spicy stuff but loves garlic, doesn't like much seafood but does like ham and chicken, likes soups and chili but not real strong flavors...and there's probably a day a week when she goes carb crazy and just wants bread and crackers. And she definitely still goes through adventurous and less adventurous stages. I'm a total foodie and I'd love to say I just educated my child about tons of flavors and she grew up loving everything, but that didn't really work out for us all the time...and I think it's likely to be fine in the end. In hindsight I wish I'd worried less, but then I usually wish that in hindsight.

[Michelle]

@SarcasticCarrie

Well you have a couple of options. Your daughter could just not be interested in solids just yet so maybe not offer and wait a month or so.

Or as paola said switch when you offer solids. I'd definitely try the solids before letting breastmilk/formula.

Or try adding something to the oatmeal. I think it is pretty bland so after we did our 3 days, I think I started adding a little veggie or fruit puree into it. Sweet potatoes and avocados were big hits in my house.

[Cloud]

OK, early morning fires out, and the next thing on my to do list is literally "clean desk". Which definitely needs to be done (hence its place on the to do list), but doesn't feel so urgent. Since MrsHaley was so nice to endorse my post about being a picky eater and having a picky eater, here it is:
http://wandsci.blogspot.com/2008/11/confessions-of-picky-eater.html

Pumpkin, who is now a little over 2, still won't eat any veggies at home. She will crunch on carrot sticks, but spits them out. We get occasional reports of her eating them at day care, but I'm not sure I believe them. She will eat pretty much any tortellini, though, so I'm thinking of trying some with spinach in it. She has added some actual, non-dried, non-pureed fruits to her diet, too. And we're slowly, very slowly, adding main dishes. We're still basically following the plan in the post, although we now also try to use peer pressure a bit. We've noticed that she'll often try something if she sees one of her friends eating it, so we have more play dates that involve lunch times. She is also more likely to try something if we have guests over and she sees everyone snacking on it. This is how we added grapes to her list of fruits.

The funniest thing about our food adventures is how much I stressed when she didn't like cheese at first. I need not have worried. She now demands cheese when we get home from day care, and so far as I can tell, will eat pretty much any cheese I give her- and I like some pretty strong cheeses. So that was some wasted stress.

I also used to stress about how small my daughter is. She's about 50% percentile in height, but is 15% or less in weight. Then I finally realized that if she keeps those statistics into adulthood, she'll probably be pretty happy. So I've stopped stressing about that, too.

One thing I'll add to my earlier post and comment- we don't criticize when she doesn't eat, and we also don't praise when she does eat. To me, eating should be about feeding your body, not about earning your parents' approval.

[mamie]

OT, but it feels so good when parents don't assume that their young children will grow up to be heterosexual. There is some deep respect in there. Thanks Moxie.

[caramama]

We did the baby-led feeding/weaning method, so we just put finger foods in front of our girl and let her eat what she wanted. Thank goodness I had read Ellyn Satter prior to embarking on solid foods. Hubby and I were just really laid back about the whole process. At first I thought my girl was a great eater because we were laid back, but then she went through an eating regression (or whatever you'd call it) and I realized that kids just go through phases, like Moxie said. Now I realize that I can just deal with the food phases because we're laid back about it.

Now at only two, she's already been someone who would eat almost anything, who would eat almost nothing, who preferred spices, who preferred bland foods, who loved sweet potatoes (as an example), who hated sweet potatoes, who loves sweet potatoes, who was picky, who was adventurous.

I agree with those who say not to read too much into this phase. It's just too early to tell. I say this as a person who hated tomato sauce as a child (of an Italian mother) and would now eat it every day if I could.

I would also like to repeat the following:
Shandra's: "buy thee one of Ellyn Satter's books."
Cloud's: "we don't criticize when she doesn't eat, and we also don't praise when she does eat. To me, eating should be about feeding your body, not about earning your parents' approval."

Good luck, and just try to enjoy each phase! Before you know it, he'll be in a new phase.

[Janel]

Just another strategy to try: I find the best way to get my son (now 2) to eat something new is to *not* offer it to him. My husband and I just take big servings for ourselves and dive in. More often than not, he comes over and starts eating off of our plates. When my son was still a baby, but old enough to pick up finger foods, I would just put some stuff on his tray and pretend to busy myself with the dishes or whatever. I found he ate more this way than when I was hovering over him trying to feed him.

[akeeyu]

At that age, my pediatrician said that solids are for entertainment purposes only. Theirs, not yours, I mean, although...um, it's funny watching them eat.

I'm with Moxie on the "offer and don't stress" thing.

One of my girls ended up needed feeding therapy because she had aversion issues and other oral/motor things going on, but really, I wouldn't stress unless there's something REALLY WEIRD going on, and what the OP is describing doesn't sound that weird.

FWIW, my girl who needed intervention was like, PICKY ON STEROIDS aside from the other issues, and soooo resistant to new flavors and only wanted the same things over and over and while we did feeding therapy, we just kept offering her foods and just not really caring whether she ate them, and one day she woke up and ate Texas, and now she gloms onto new foods.

So...even when there's a problem that requires intervention, it's still not really predictive of the future.

I really liked Ellyn Satter's books on baby food. Very low key and common sense.

The basic principle is this:
YOU control what you offer them.
THEY control what they eat.
Period.

[Erin]

I've read a lot of research about taste buds and babies - I can't remember the statistics, but babies have thousands of more receptors (or whatever) in their mouths than adults do. Thus, they are extremely sensitive to tastes and textures. So it's not some perverse pickyness on their parts. As a formerly picky eater, I am particularly sensitive to the labeling of babies and toddlers as "picky" - this is always a negative, and can set up lots of potential battles/ judging between parents and child. I was one of those kids who only wanted to eat beige foods until I was in my early 20s. Now I eat everything, and very healthfully.

My son was throwing his food on the floor and resisting it. I decided to keep trying to introduce new foods, but if he only wanted to eat yogurt, blueberries, and Cheerios (his fav 3 at months 9 & 10) then it that was ok. As soon as I decided this (and relaxed), he started eating everything in sight. He's also a LOT happier when I let him pick out his own Os or Cheerios, give him the entire mini-waffle or toast stick. He wants to handle and control his own food, as Moxie pointed out. I used to freak about choking, but now I just watch him really carefully, and it turns out HE'S really careful about how much he puts in his mouth, and will spit it out if it's too much.

[Julie]

Here is something I've been struggling with....my son (3.5) has always been a difficult kid to get to eat anything - even when he's hungry. I've made my peace with that, put food in front of him, let him eat what he wants, and no comments (though many nights geared up for middle of the night feedings because he would.not.eat.during.the.day).

His variety is so-so. He loves fruit, enjoys enough vegetables to keep me from worrying any kind of sweet product and carbs. But getting him to eat protein is almost impossible. IMPOSSIBLE. His moods spiral quickly out of control, he's just a little monster with incredibly low blood sugar. If I can get some cheese, an egg, some yogurt or (glory of days) chicken into him, he's almost instantly fine again. We talk about how our bodies need a healthy balance of veggies, fruits, carbs and protein. We talk about how his moods improve when he eats protein. I know he's understanding me because sometimes if I"m short tempered he'll say "Here Mommy, have some protein" and hand me some cheese. He gets it, but still won't eat it, even though after eating it he even says "Man, that feels my body better!"

If kids know what their bodies need and naturally eat it when they need it, why does my son actively and purposely avoid the one thing (protein) that will bring his blood sugar back to normal??????

[Sharon aka Mommie Mentor]

Didn't read all the posts, sorry if repeating.

This is coming from an empty nester who raised one very adventurous eater and one seriously picky eater. All I can say is please relax.

The picky eater ate only white foods for years and years. We began as organic vegetarians until #2 came along and showed us that he was a carnivore no matter what we said or did! Then we became organic eat everything type of people.

The older one became a regular eater in high school when the "cool" factor of going to ethnic restaurants kicked in. It turned out that he preferred bland food as a young child and then became a lover of spicy food as a teen, go figure! Now he eats most anything. He called a few weeks ago to say he ate Red Snapper for the first time and he cooked it himself. That was amazing!

As #1 grew we had rules about what I was willing to purchase - he could choose to eat it or not, we gave them vitamins and pretty much ignored the lack of interest, it was hard to do. We love a diverse range of food too, and given time I believe your child will show you that he loves food as well.

Throwing up after eating tomatoes and probably having acid reflux before he threw up was a first time experience for your son. He's still a baby and that first time experience may have caused him to lump all food into one group- Food is a yucky type of experience. Or is it possible that you gave him bland food after he threw up and since it didn't make him throw up he considered bland food the only safe food?

The most important thing to do at this moment while foundational development is rearing it's head is to not be concerned.
The rule in parenting is where you put your attention is the place the child learns to challenge during developmental cycles. So if you care about food intake then remove your attention and concern from it. The child will then move on to some other issue to work his developmental challenges out on.

[uni is yummy]

I just had to comment on this one because I'm a living picky eater success story! I was never much of a food enthusiast and it drove my parents batty. They constantly tried to get me to eat all sorts of things and I refused and rebelled until I hit my teenage years and got to the point where I would at least pick a little at most family meals. I can actively remember myself at the ages of 6-10 when I ate ONLY bread, tomatoes, corned beef, mustard and strawberries (all separately). Nothing else. Nothing. Seriously.

I'm now a huge fan of all kinds of food and I (like Moxie) LOVE raw sea urchin. I'm an uni fanatic. So there, you see, it will all work itself out one day.

[mom2boys]

@ Julie - I don't have a solution just another one that won't eat meat, eggs or cheese. He does love his milk still and will eat yogurt, peanut butter and beans (black and baked). I do my best to get some of that in him everyday. I think it's great that you are communicating with him what he needs to be healthy but other than tricking him - hiding foods inside smoothies, muffins - not sure what to do because if he just doesn't want to eat it there's not much you can do.

[Erin]

@ those who asked about rice cereal and oatmeal in pre-1-year olds. I always found rice cereal kind of vile (I try to stick to the rule if *I* wouldn't eat, should I make him?). Then I discovered my favorite baby food ever - Happy Bellies Multigrain Cereal, by Happy Baby (available online & at Whole Foods). It has probiotics! It's multigrain! It's a powder just like rice cereal and it makes beautifully textured and flavorful cereal - I've mixed it with breast milk and water and been happy with both. I think DS likes it much better than rice, so if your little one isn't that into rice or oatmeal, you might want to try this.

@ Julie - is your son able to eat nuts? Nuts and also beans (including tofu!) are great sources of protein that he might like better than meat or dairy. (Peanut butter on whole wheat = perfect protein, like beans and rice.)

[Karin]

A *very* similar thing happened to us. My little girl started eating solids just before 6 months, and was happy to eat pretty much anything. Then I gave her apple sauce, the acidity made her vomit (several times, it was quite bad - poor thing), and bang: No More Food.

She wouldn't touch solids at all for three or four days, then it was only mashed bananas for a couple of weeks. Slowly, slowly we got her to eat butternut squash, pear, avocado...but she was very suspicious. She continued being very picky, and what helped us was baby led weaning - she lived off crackers, rice cakes, cucumber chunks and water melon for quite a while. (and breast milk, so I wasn't overly worried). All her little friends were eating these amazing purees with all sorts of yummy ingredients, but she was all about crackers and cucumbers.

Then one day, I think she was around 9 months old, she saw me eating pasta bolognese - and suddenly she decided that she wanted to try it. She crawled over, helped herself, and that was that. She's been an amazing eater ever since (she's almost 2.5 now).

[Erin]

ok! One last post & then I swear I'll stop -

Does anybody have advice on what to do with a toddler who throws his food on the floor? DS is 12 months old, and I want to teach him not to throw his food, but he loves handling it, so I don't want to take it away from him or only give him one tiny piece at a time. I think this bores him and makes him lose interest in eating. Should I chill out about the mess on the floor, or are their gentle ways of starting to correct this problem?

@Cloud - I was really inspired by your posts (here & your link). Thank you! I was picky too and kind of traumatized growing up by What a Big Deal my eating habits were to the people around me.

[Cloud]

@Erin- Thanks! What worked for us on the food on the floor thing (and the general food throwing thing, which was Pumpkin's way of saying "no, thanks" for awhile) was to just keep correcting it, but not make a huge deal. Once she got a little older and we started doing more time out like things, we would move her away from the table and say she had to stay there while we cleaned up the mess. We don't have much problem with the food throwing anymore. Now we're on to bubble-blowing in milk, which is a lot harder to correct, because it is hard not to laugh.

@Julie- I am someone who gets cranky when my blood sugar drops. I'm 36, have graduate training in biochemistry so I really, really understand what is going on when my blood sugar drops- and I STILL don't always do the right thing to prevent it. My husband has learned to recognize the early warning signs and get me food ASAP. My only advice is to try to remind your son BEFORE he gets cranky. Once I'm cranky, its hard to reason me. I find that once I am in a bad spot, I need carbs right away to get me rational again, and then I can have something more sensible. My personal favorite protein snack is cashews.

You could also try something like a Cliff Bar. I've been eating those as a way to try to get protein into my snacks during pregnancy. I was having a really hard time stabilizing my blood sugar and it was making me feel extra crappy, particularly during the first trimester. It is hard to keep cheese at work, but I can keep Cliff Bars on hand. I know they have a kid's version now, because my coworker gave me one to rescue me one day. It wasn't bad.

[akeeyu]

Re throwing: Millbarge does that. Drives me batshit.

I ask her if she's done, then if she keeps doing it, I say "Ohhh...you're done, huh?" and take her tray away.

If I don't think she's truly done with the meal, then the tray just has a time out while Fitz-Hume and I eat, but if it's close to the end of mealtime and she's eaten plenty, then the tray goes in the sink and she's done.

I know that dropping food is an Important! Developmental! Milestone! and stuff, but really? I just don't have time to keep picking up food, and it's annoying.

[CaliBoo]

We've found that there are a lot of confounding variables that influence whether or not our 13 mo eats, and it's not necessarily b/c she doesn't like what's in front of her. If she's got a tray full of food and signing "more", then we start reconsidering what we've offered her (she is crazy for fruit). If she just sits there and pushes it around or wants to talk to us, we chalk it up to "not hungry now". She's also a much better eater earlier in the day than at dinner, and eats better for anyone other than us (daycare, grandparents, etc.)
And oh, Erin, if I only knew how to get the food-dropping to stop. I think our daughter does it for attention (no! toddlers don't do annoying things for attention, do they?!?!) so I'm of the school of just asking her if she's done and unemotionally taking the whole tray away. May I recommend the Shark steam floor cleaner in the meantime?

[Bonnie]

Thanks everyone for your comments! The Bub is actually only 6.5 months old, 22 lbs, and is breastfed about 4-5 times per day, so we have plenty of time to work on food. I guess, like all things baby-related, we just have to ride it out! Happy to report that the Bub is now eating congee (rice porridge) in addition to cereal. Bland, but a Chinese staple, so I'm glad he's doing that since it's poor man's food that _I_ love :)

My husband jokes that he since he married me he has eaten more green stuff than he has ever before. (He has eaten a lot of things people wouldn't touch...raw sea urchin being one of them, and sea cucumber too - the squishy stuff you get to touch at aquariums.)

I come from a culture where a LOT of what goes on in the family is related to food. Coming from two very different cultures, my parents and my husband are able to do a lot of bonding over food. So I have a fear that when I take my son to see his grandparents, he's going to ask me for PBJ when we are at the dinner table. Nothing against PBJs -- just one of those fears that I'll be judged for not giving my son a variety of foods when he's little and raising him up to be a picky eater. My cousin has a 2.5 year old who munches on chicken's feet (no joke) when we have dimsum. So, I've got that "pressure" to raise my son to be a good eater. Also, my husband and I LOVE food and we would so want to share fun food experiences with our kid (kobi beef in Japan...yumm....) so here I am, freaking out that my kid won't even eat sweet potatoes.

Hopefully as I stop freaking out about it and move my attention to something else, he will start eating at some point!

Thanks again everyone for your thoughts.

[eccentriclibertarian]

Nothing ends a good meal of sushi better than a little plate of uni. Orange, spongy, delicately briny...mmm.

[mom2boys]

re throwing food - what seems to have worked for us is encouraging use of the all done sign so when he would throw the food we'd say in a cheery voice "you must be All Done" while making the sign. He'll now make the sign instead of throwing the food unless it is food he doesn't want to eat - he often chucks that overboard still. Saying No to something he has almost complete control over hasn't worked at all.

[Sharon aka Mommie Mentor]

Erin and those of you who are dealing with throwing food.

You want my seminar #1. Correcting toddlers. This is the most loving, sweet way to send the message, No, we don't do that. This method teaches a toddler instead of keeping you frustrated and it does it all in 3-10 seconds.

This method teaches/corrects all of the everyday things you need to address when you're raising young toddlers up to the age of 2.5 or 3. Over the last 18 yrs we have found this method to be one of the all time favorites.

Some may ask "why bother to address behavior in such a young child?"

Because your child is in the foundational stages. A child learns I can do this and then expands on that concept as she grows month by month and soon you have a child who is throwing food at YOU not on the floor just to see what you'll do. It's so much easier to nip it in the bud early.

End of shameless plug.

[MemeGRL]

Ah, the food wars. Son 1 ate everything we put in front of him except meat. We are omnivores, he was an avowed vegetarian.
Until...Son 2 came along and ate almost nothing BUT meat. At which point sibling rivalry came in with Son 1 loudly complaining that we were keeping the meat away from him for our own dastardly reasons. Now Son 1 eats meat and is generally willing to try a wide range of foods (all I ask; I don't like everything I try either), though he has reverted (in my mind) from licking the tomato sauce from the bottom of the spaghetti bowl to wanting his noodles with butter only, please.
Son 2 distrusts anything that grew from the earth that is not a grain. He will eat blueberries if he picks them off the bush himself. (We planted more this year.) Last May, he ate strawberries every single day, stopped cold on June 1, and has not had one in his mouth since then (except in a smoothie, or ice cream). Which is to say: I give up. We keep offering, and someday, perhaps, it will be his day to try. But it is a bummer, as the original poster notes, to have a kid who eats it all and then goes all bland on you. I do buy in to the taste buds theory, though.

[persephone]

I will echo everyone's advice not to worry. Sounds to me like a smart baby, actually. If I thought eating was always a fun experience, and then for the first time I ate something that made me throw up, I might be wary about food for a while after that too! I'm sure it will wear off again (although of course there are plenty of other stages where babies & toddlers refuse new foods.)

I'd just add that you might want to keep an eye on whether a pattern develops with acidic foods - especially before lying down - and then throwing up. Many babies do have acid reflux. They usually outgrow it, so it doesn't mean they can never have tomatoes or oranges down the road, but it might be wise to avoid them for a while longer. There are supposedly "happy spitters", but for babies with acid it's really not fun to throw up, and if they have that experience repeatedly after eating, it can contribute to more long-lasting food aversions.

But it sounds like you've got something much more typical here. Hopefully it will go away as fast as it came on. :)

[hedra]

no time to read, so just brain-dumping:

1) if child is 7-8 months, they may also reject BEING fed - it is't the food, it's that you're in charge of it, not them. I have two who did this (out of the four) - if they were not In Charge, then No Eating. Period. One had reflux, by the way, but the other did not. We used one of those self-feeder bag-on-handle thingies to allow them to self-feed beyond the cheerio and ground table-food level without choking.

2) The tomato 'incident' - vomiting isn't usually from acids, it's usually from allergic reaction. Tomatos are a reasonably common allergen (nightshade family, includes potato and peppers, too). Many kids outgrow this allergy, like others, but it is worth watching for resistance to those foods. Oral aversion can develop from an oral/GI reaction, even without allergy, too - so back off, and allow more self-management (see item 1).

3) Once picky always picky? No, though the trajectory may differ by child. Ep (DH) was picky until he and I were engaged, pretty much. But not so much anymore. Mr G is still 'picky' but we've determined that a) since most of pickiness is genetic that's not surpising, and b) he's a super-taster (1 in 35 people or so have excess numbers of taste buds, and everything tastes LOUD). But hey, he's eating salad by choice, so... not fretting (we've already done the feeding clinic with him). And both the ones who refused to eat if I held the spoon are big eaters - anything, and lots of it (though one parses it out across the day because of the reflux).

4) Texture aversion. If smooth purees are all the rage, then texture may be an issue.

5) The 'HEY, that's not what I smelled cooking!' reaction. One of the kids (Mr B) was very EH on food after the initial experimentation stage, until he had something YUMMY (that is, grownup food, ground up). The more it smelled and tasted like what we were eating, the better he liked it. If he could sit on my lap and grab it off my plate, all the better. He liked to see me put it in the grinder from my plate, too - he had no trouble at 7 months putting those two concepts together. Baby food, eh, cereal was okay but the rest was declined.

So, it could be a variety of things. But I'll vote with Moxie that it is not a crisis or requiring intervention NOW. Take a step back, try some options, don't push and DO NOT WORRY. They'll catch the worry, and it makes it that much harder for them to want to eat (hunger signals decline when you're worried, so stressing out just reduces their desire to eat).

[Rebecca Sela]

At that age, after a single spoon-fed baby cereal meal, my son decided that nothing was going into his mouth unless he was controlling it. So, we got one of those mesh feeders, put soft food in it, and let him feed himself. He was happy to eat all sorts of fruits and veggies, as long as he was the one putting it in his mouth.

(The mesh feeder lasted only a month or two - because I got sick of cleaning that thing. Then, I just gave him (soft) hunks of food and let him feed himself.)

Of course, he reach 2 and a half and has become picky. But the self-feeding thing worked for a while.

[caramama]

@taste buds and getting older - Can anyone tell me why MY mom is cooking more and more blandly as she gets older? And eats more bland foods? What you all have been saying would indicate she would want spicier foods, but no way. And she's only in her 60s!

@Picky being a negative term - I agree, and for myself, I always say I'm discerning about what I like (this is mostly for things other than food, as I love most foods).

@Erin - About the throwing food on floor... I read/heard somewhere I trust (only can't recall because of preggie brain) that toddlers view experiencing food as they would any toy. So the playing with it and throwing it is normal behavior as they learn about the world. Although it internally drives me crazy, I let it go for a long time. Now that my girl is over 2, we are starting to gently correct her by telling her no throwing and instead put it on a plate/mommy's hand/a napkin. I'm also starting to (constantly) remind her to use a spoon or fork and not play with it (we use the "You must be done if you aren't using your spoon/if you are playing with your food" lines). But it really only works now that she gets what I'm saying, has more impulse control and has already explored playing with the food. And thank goodness for my dog, who cleans up the messy floors for me!

[Bonnie]

about the tomatoes/vomiting thing...I followed the recipe from a baby cookbook (it recommended tomatoes as "first tastes" - i.e. stage one). It said to peel/deseed tomato and sautee in one tsp of olive oil, cook till it's all soft. So I mixed about 1 tbsp of that into potatoes (which he has had before and didn't seem to care - I figured it was a good "base" food to mix other more flavourful things into). He ate it all fine but about an hour after bed time he threw up. I've since been told that tomatoes should be a 10-month food. But I've also been told that the oil might have cause the stomach upset. i didn't know potatoes are to be avoided too. :(

the flavour overload makes sense to me, thanks for pointing that out!

[CaliBoo]

Ha ha, someone talking about dim sum and sea cucumbers reminded me of the very fancy Chinese wedding reception I went to, where I was assured that a dish was vegetarian, only to find out that it was considered so b/c it had sea *cucumbers* in it. When you think about it, food can be pretty confusing especially to our new eaters. How can something make you feel so good, and then another time make you feel terrible?
And seriously, what is UP with some of these baby cookbooks? My personal theory is that the more time and effort it takes to make a food for my daughter, the bigger the chance she'll reject it. If I make something that we like eating that is appropriate for where she is with eating, it is more likely to be a success.