Ask Moxie group on Facebook

I finally figured out how to start a group on Facebook! Yay!

Here's the group (or just search "Ask Moxie" when you're on FB). I started a discussion question about Friday Night Rituals.

(And you know you can follow me on Twitter?)

Comments

[caramama]

This puts me in a real quandary. I'm on Facebook with my real name and pictures, but I've assured my husband that I wouldn't use our real names or post pictures in the blog world. I can't see just starting to comment over on FB with a different name--it would be like starting over, when I feel like I'm already part of the community under this name.

Hmmm. What to do. What to do...

[Anon]

Sorry, I like the anonymity here.

[&BabyMakes75]

Sorry but I'm with caramama and Anon... I do like having the possibility of occasional real meet-ups, but too much personal stuff on FB to join an AskMoxie group on FB with my real name and real pictures etc.

[Brooke]

You know that other people on Facebook can only see your name and profile picture, not your profile info if you join the group but don't friend them, right?

That said, I joined because I don't really care. I figure if anyone wanted to find me through the stuff I've posted online, they already could if they tried hard enough.

[textureamy]

Woot!

[Anon2]

Yes, but your friends can see what you've posted.

[&BabyMakes75]

Okay, so assuming that I'm not the only person new to FB and others may have the same question - please confirm:
1.- If I join Ask Moxie's FB page, my real name and profile picture is used
2.- Other people in Ask Moxie's FB can NOT see my personal information (pictures, events, etc.) unless I choose to friend each individual
3.- If I make a comment on AskMoxie FB page, all people who are on my friend list will see the comment I make

[Moxie]

&BabyMakes75:
1. Yes.
2. Yes.
3. A month ago I would've said "Yes," but with the new, totally bogus FB, I'm not sure. I think yes, but it might replace on your feed any comment you make on the Ask Moxie FB page with the results of a quiz you took about "Which Barney Miller character are you?". (I'd like to think I'm Fish, but might be Deitrich.)

Oh, and I'm not going to be insulted if anyone doesn't join the FB page. I'm going to put up one discussion question a week, and will keep them all light and FB-like. No deep issues, just more like all the surveys that float around FB already, but parenting-focused.

I can't believe 550 people have joined the group!

[Brooke]

You can take your posts on a message board off of your news feed, so your friends won't see what you've posted. Or, they won't without actively looking for it. I'm not entirerly sure if you can read anything on the AskMoxie wall/discussion board without joining the group.
I doubt any one here who reads and comments would be able to figure out who you are without some work (unless you say what name you use here) since there are currently around 550 members.

(and I'm really not trying to coerce people to join)

[&BabyMakes75]

thanks!
:-)

[bella]

Can I ask something REALLY stupid? What's the difference between something you might post here and something on FB? My professional life is one I really want to keep separate from my personal. I have to worry about students, clients, and worlds colliding in a way that freaks me right out when I think about FB. I've been so tempted to join at some times because there's something so... fun about FB. But I realize I really can't unless I do it in a way that only puts out my professional interests that I want to connect with people about. But here's the crux of my problem (imagine the next sentence in a long, horrifyingly whining voice): I don't want to miiiiiiiiiiiiiss anything around AskMoxie. Even though I post irregularly, I check/read constantly, (and now you really must get the shameful adolescent lameness of the next part) and I hate the idea of being left out... So, can I just ask what's going to be the difference? I know you (Moxie) said that it would be more "light", but perhaps you could also link here to the same questions?

On the other hand, I can deal. I'm more curious and lamely feeling left out, but really, I know it's my choice to put myself out there however I feel comfortable and it's no one's responsibility but my own. Just curious...

[caramama]

@bella - haha! That's how I feel too! I also love FB, but it's important to me to keep it seperate from my blog identity. But I still have that adolescence not-wanting-to-be-left-out feelings! I won't even get into the clique-y group from high school that exacerbated this issue I have.

You can view the group and the posts without being a member. Moxie has made it an open group. I am not sure if you can post a comment without being a member. But you can at least follow what's going on without joining.

[MrsHaley]

@bella - me too! I don't do FB and I was feeling bummed that I would get 'left out' when this is the only online place I have really felt a sense of community in a way that keeps me comfortable. I was worried the AskMoxie community would end up being a FB in-group and those of us who don't do FB would end up orbiting cluelessly. As long as I can read what's going on on FB (I have never even looked at it -- I will have to do some exploring to figure out how to see the Moxie group) then I think I won't feel out of the loop.

[Rudyinparis]

I joined, primarily because I think it is so cool to see what other people who are part of this community actually look like! It's thrilling somehow. I'm there under my quote unquote real name, so traveling incognito, as it were. Which is also kind of fun. I don't think it will consume this space--is that the right word?

[Moxie]

I put up the group because people were asking for it, but figured it would be the same as most other FB groups--people join, and sometimes check in, but nothing much really happens on those groups. Last Friday's question was about Friday night rituals in your house. I'm thinking about questions about television shows, top 5 blah blah blah. you know, the usual FB stuff, just with an overlay of parenting. the kind of stuff people get mad at if we do it here.;)

Here's a thought, though, if you guys are still reading. I've been thinking I need to do some kind of every-other-week email thing, with a roundup of cool stuff, a funny story, and something to think about. It would also be the place I could soft-open the Next Big Idea or two. Do you think people would sign up, if it only came twice a month ad didn't bother them?

[MrsHaley]

Moxie, I would love that!

[SarcastiCarrie]

Because I love Ask Moxie, I went out and joined Facebook last night under an assumed name. So, it's my real picture but a fake name. In fact, it's the name I used to give out in bars to guys who would hit on me. BUT, I used my real email address (which I hid from the world through the privacy manager stuff) and as soon as I set up the account, I had inviations from real-life friends to join them and be their friends. I guess they uploaded their address books! Yikes! Not so incognito like I thought. I doubt they'll be able to tell I'm on there because of the whole private email thing though.
And my husband thinks I just opened up our home computer to spyware and is furious I did this, so I may end up removing the account.
And of course, since I was on there...all my old boyfriends are married now (to women who are less hot than I).

[Sam]

Well, I am weird, because I use my real name on Facebook, but don't link to my blog, but I have friended blog-world friends (like Moxie, which makes me oh so excited). I often send people (new mamas, especially) a link to Ask Moxie, so it doesn't bother me if my Facebook friends (the majority of which are IRL friends) see that I've posted within the Facebook group.

[caramama]

@Moxie - I think the email group is a great idea! I assume it would be like a listserv? I'm totally on board with that and am happy to use my caramamamia email account!

@SarcastiCarrie - I hate to admit it, but you did just open up your computer to spyware. It's insane how targeted Facebook is to spyware specifically. But you can download a free anti-spyware program and regularly search you computer and remove anything that is downloaded that you don't want. I do this regularly. My husband (who knows about these things) recommends SUPERAntiSpyware, and that's what he put on my computer for me to use. If you have any questions about it, feel free to email me at caramamamia at gmail dot com.

On the bright side, my super security-conscious husband evaluated Facebook and felt it was secure enough for us to use our real names and even post pictures. So as long as you regularly check for spyware and viruses, you are pretty secure with FB.

[SarcastiCarrie]

@caramama - if I don't download anything and don't run any apps from facebook, am i still opening myself up to spyware?

[hush]

You know how much I totally love y'all... but I don't do FB. Nothing personal, it's just not my bag! ;)

[mom2boys]

I've stopped taking the quizzes (guess which swear word/starbucks drink/jane austen character I am) because of the flood of junk email I get after each one. So annoying. Guess I could set up a facebook email acct. I joined the AskMoxie group - can't see my profile w/out being a friend and I doubt I'll post anything on an AskMoxie FB thread that I'd care about anyone in RL reading.

[caramama]

@SarcastiCarrie - In theory, you open yourself up to spyware any time you go on the internet. Most of it is harmless--adware tracking and what not. I haven't heard of people who don't run apps having major problems (I play a lot of the online games, so I'm pretty sure that's how I get a bunch). But I've heard that FB is really targeted right now (I believe it is because of a policy change they made that made people mad). Running the antispyware is actually really simple and good to do anyway. But you are probably reasonably safe if you don't run apps or download anything.

@mom2boys - I've not had a problem with junk mail from the quizzes. Either my email spam filter is doing a good job, or I have some setting preventing them from being sent. It's a good thing, because I love those lame quizzes. BTW, the TV Mom I'm most like is Clair Huxtable!

[mom2boys]

@caramama - on the nights when I take my laptop to class I have a terrible habit of taking quiz after quiz. I need to look into why the junk emails always follow.

[Moxie]

Caramama, the email list would actually be broadcast-only. I think a listserv could get really dicey, and is absolutely not secure at all, since people run it through all kinds of work email addresses, etc.

It would basically be a "here's what I've been thinking about that's kind of too abstract for the website and also has no real takeaway" and also "Did you guys know about this website??"

Since the new FB format makes all the things in the feed look the same (status messages and quiz notifications) one of my friends has taken to posting fake quiz status messages such as "XXX just took the quiz "Which member of of the governor's mansion's staff from Benson are you?" and the result is Kraus! Take the quiz now." She's killing me dead with these.

What's making me laugh on the FB Ask Moxie group is the way people who know me only from this website are mixed in with friends from junior high and college who had no idea I even wrote the website until I invited them to the group.

[caramama]

Moxie - That makes sense about the email/listserv. Whatever way you do it, you know I'm in. And your friend making up quizzes? That's hysterical!

[Rachel Hurst]

Okay, don't laugh, but I'm so super new to blogging that I don't even know HOW to use a fake name. I posted a comment last night (or was it the night before? I so lose track of time in Momdom) and accidentally used my real info. Oops. Here's the thing though. I want to live my life with integrity. To me that means living consistently in all aspects of my life. Honestly, Faith driven, and respectfully. Yeah, but I'm far from perfect.........so very very far, and I feel like annonimity can become a crutch for poor judgement and actions. Anyway, Thank you all for your comments. I live a half hour from the nearest super wal-mart and don't have a large mommy suoport group. Almost all my neighbors for the surrounding five miles are relatives. Muc h older relatives, and my bf who is also a stay at home mom lives 4 hours away and is busy with her three most of the time. Imagine that. LOL. As an aside, please exuse any typos. My only internet is on my Palm Pre Plus and the keyboard is miniscule. Thanks in advance, although feel free to tease if it's really bad. Everyone needs a laugh sometimes.