Q&A: His own bed!

John writes:

"Okay - nothing new or original, but it's driving us crazy:

We can't get our 4-year old to sleep all night in his own bed. We've been working on this for more than two years now. We've finally got him to the point where he will go to sleep in his own bed (eventually), but by midnight or so, he's back in bed with us.

He's got a rigid bedtime routine - dinner, toilet, bath, feed the fish, 3 books, hugs and kisses, go to sleep with audiobooks on the iPod (on speaker - no headphones). We've used bribes with mixed success and if I have to, I lie down with him in his bed until he falls asleep sometimes, but both of those seem like iffy ideas at best.

We try to take him back as soon as he gets into bed with us, but we are both so exhausted at the end of the day that a lot of the time, we don't realize that he's in our bed until a couple of hours later, when our backs give out from clinging to the edge of the bed. He's the Stubbornest Boy in the Universe (potty training has been a little slice of Heaven) and if he wakes up enough on the trip back to his bed, he gets so into the power struggle that he wakes himself up completely and then the fun REALLY starts.

We're both big.

The Boy is big.

The bed is not.

One of us is going to fall asleep at the wheel and drive into a cement truck one day on our way to or from work.  (Which may be part of his plan, because then he'd inherit half of our bed.)

Yours in total, mind-numbing exhaustion,

John"

Think about what a successful life your son is going to have with his refusal to back down. He is going to have the drive to succeed, and the will to keep going in the face of adversity. His stubbornness will serve him well in The Game of Life.

Your sleep situation right now, however, sucks.

It sounds like you've tried a whole lot of things, from bribes to lying down with him. And the problem isn't getting him to sleep in his bed initially, but getting him to stay in his bed.

It seems to me like you have three options. One is to keep going the way you are, but it sounds like you really don't want to do that, so let's not even talk about it. The second option would be to use brute force to keep him in his bed. The third option would be to try to get him involved in the plan.

The brute force option would be to barricade him in his room somehow. I think it's a bad idea for a lot of reasons, but I also know people who've felt like it was the only thing they could do. When you're that sleep-deprived for that long, you try whatever you can think of. The real kicker here, though, is that I think some kids wouldn't really mind being shut into their rooms, but the ones who are coming into your bed every night are the exact kids who would hate it. And then you're setting up a power struggle and control-based situation that's just going to end up making everyone feel horrible and eroding trust between the two of you.

Since these spirited kids need help managing their emotions and impulses, setting up an oppositional situation is just going to backfire by making things worse. Instead, you might want to see if option three works, by enlisting his help in the project of keeping him in his own bed.

It seems like there are a couple of dimensions here. The first is that you want to talk to him and make sure he understand that he needs to stay in his own bed, and why it's very important for the whole family that he does. But the other, key part to this is to get him to tell you why he doesn't stay in his own bed but instead comes into yours. Once you know that, you can try to replicate the conditions he's going for without having him come in with you. Is he cold? Maybe more blankets or a space heater are the answer. Is he scared of being alone, or just wants to be with other people? Maybe you could put a small mattress for him in your room that he could come sleep in in the middle of the night.

There could be any number of conditions that are making him wake up in the middle of the night. (Some kids at this age sleep all the way through, while others seem to wake up, so I don't think it's abnormal for him to wake up, but there also could be some specific reason he's waking up.) Until you figure that out, you really don't know what to do to make it easier for him to sleep through.

Has anyone else been through this? What did you do to help your child finally sleep through in his or her own bed?

Comments

[mo]

Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, we were so strick about the boys being in their crib and never being in our room, let alone our bed. The good news is that they don't even know that is an option; bad news is that on the rare time(s) we need to do that (on vacation for example), they CAN'T sleep with us - way too exciting and something they aren't used to.

Our problem is we separated the boys (they are twins, almost 4) for nap and sometimes bedtime when we transitioned them out of their cribs. Now one twin loves being in his own room (he likes to start out in his brother's room but quickly moves to his own room when he's ready to actually go to sleep, so now we just have him start in his own room to save that whole hassle) but the other hates being all by himself - I think he is lonely and possibly scared and it might be compounded by the fact that he is a twin so has never before now slept on his own.

So... he always wants my husband to sleep in his room. I'm a bit nervous to get this habit fully set as I know then he won't like the one-off night that my husband doesn't. Also, once he knows my husband is going to sleep in his room, he stays awake (quietly) until my husband goes to sleep which means he doesn't go to sleep as early as he should be.

I was the ALWAYS scared at night kid - still am - so I feel for my one son. I did explain to him that mommys and daddys are supposed to sleep in the same room and that seemed to help (that it was less that Daddy was denying him as much as Daddy was follwoing the rules).

Our biggest problem is not the staying in bed in the middle of the night (not even the waking up in the middle of the night) but the ordeal of getting them to sleep in the first place. If we get them into bed at 8, they continually call, cry for, etc. my husband or I and that can last sometimes until close to 9:30 - not a relaxing way to spend the evening. Ugh.

Sorry for the long, tangential post. Guess I didn't help what-so-ever.

[Melissa]

We went through this with my 3 1/2 year old, when she was closer to 3. At first we took turns sleeping on a blow-up mattress in her room, but we weren't sleeping well. Then we did the problem-solving bit, where we wrote down every possible solution, and crossed out the ones we weren't happy with and let her cross out the ones she wasn't happy with, and were left with the idea of a nest of blankets and pillows on the floor of our room. She could come use it whenever she wanted, as long as she was quiet. She came every night for a while, then it tapered off. Nowadays she comes maybe 1x/month. Good luck!

[Gina]

Our son is only two and just moved to a "big boy bed" but we have had severe sleep problems since birth (waking up 9 times a night a one year old, lying in his room with him/holding him for 1 - 2 hours before he falls asleep). Recently we hit on two things which seem to be helping:
1) Our bedtime routine got longer and longer and more and more rigid thinking he needed more structure. We recently changed it so that it is now very loose. Bath early in the evening - and sometimes we just skip it, dinner at some point, then playtime. When it is about 30 min from bedtime we announce that in 5 min we will have stories then we do a quick nurse then one more story and then bed. I think he hates bedtime so much (seems to think he is missing all the fun) that the long, predictable routine just made him get even more stressed and resistant. Go figure.
2) He puts one of us to bed each night. He loves this. Right before we tuck him in, he takes one of us (usually me - I'm 27 weeks pregnant) into our room and tucks me in, gives me a kiss, and turns out the light. I get back up if I want to but it seems to reassure him that we are *all* going to sleep in our own bed.

I hope you all can get some rest soon. I had to switch jobs when the boy was 8 months old because I was convinced I was going to get in an accident on my hour long commute home from work.

[r0ckaby3]

I have not read all the comments, so forgive me if this is a repeat. 3 year old K started joining us in bed after we found out we were pregnant in October. Husband was going to sleep in K's room whenever he woke up (not a big deal since K has bunk beds and DH would sleep on the empty one, but still annoying).

K now has the option of sleeping in our room on his toddler bed when he wakes up in the middle of the night or simply going back to sleep in his own bed. We have told him that we will shut his door if he comes to get daddy to fall asleep with him. This potential consequence has been more than enough to quell his desire to come wake daddy up to sleep with him every night.

If this had not worked, we would have implemented an idea my MIL used with my husband and his sister when they were little (she was a single mom working hard, so sleep was precious to her too)! As long as the children slept in their beds all week, they could sleep anywhere they wanted on Friday nights (mom's bed, family room, kitchen, bathroom, wherever they wanted).

[kyma]

No advice here, just my own experience. My son would wake up 3-7 times a night until I brought him into our bed at 14 months. After that he hardly ever woke at all! As he got bigger and more uncomfortable to sleep with, we bought him his own twin sized mattress that he sleeps on in our room. Now he's two and sometimes in the middle of the night, I'll hear him rustling and looking over at us, but I think he's comforted by the sight of us. Once in a while, he'll ask that I come into bed with him...and I have to admit, I love snuggling with him! I also come from an Asian culture where co-sleeping is very widely accepted, so it was not a huge leap for me to start doing it. I do sometimes wonder when he'll sleep in his own room, but I myself slept in my parent's room until I was *egads!!* almost 8 years old!! And I'm a relatively well adjusted adult, so I try not to worry about it. :P

[Jo]

We have two very different-personality kiddos, 7 1/2 years apart. Big Red has always slept like the dead and wasn't nighttime potty trained until 8 years old. Little Brown, almost 3, is a very strong-willed demanding little darling who defiantly refuses to even get near a potty. He's a lighter sleeper and is still in his crib for both nap and nighttime(I'm totally reluctant to let him "loose".) BUT both of our kids have blackout shades on their windows and sleep with a white noise fan in their rooms, as do we in our room. I am convinced that this quiet, calm, consistent environment helps them fall back asleep on their own when they naturally rouse in the night.

If Little Brown does start wandering into our room in the night when he's graduated from the crib, I'm planning on the "don't wake Mama or Daddy but sleep in this sleeping bag on the floor near Mama" method. Good luck John, and all you other parents who are facing sleep struggles.

[L.]

No good advice, as we have not had to deal with this yet, but I think Tracerhawk might be on to something. When we sleep-trained our son (yes, CIO, and one of the best things we have done for him or ourselves) we were told by the sleep consultants that it is very important to have a consistent atmosphere all night long. This is because you are constantly cycling through sleep cycles while you are asleep, and part of those cycles is coming very close to consciousness, almost awake. If you sense during this time that something has changed, it's disorienting and you wake up, and may find it difficult to go back to sleep. The sleep consultant--who I have seen posting here, so you know she's cool :) --likened it to falling asleep in your bed and waking up on your lawn. So, if the iPod stops playing at some point, that could be contributing to your son's wakeups and maybe his need to be comforted. Perhaps you could put it on a speaker system and let the stories play quietly all night?

I also wondered about trying a half-door (Dutch door) or gate. Something to keep him in there without locking him in.

(I am not at all anti co-sleeping. We did nothing but through till 7 or 8 months and it was very precious time for me. But afterwards it caused sleep deprivation for both of us. I am all for doing it if it works for you; but I am as leery of people who insist that it's the natural, right, etc. way as of people who scare-monger about it.)

[meggiemoo]

My son, now 3, is exactly as you describe: sensitive, persistant, very poor sleeper. I would have co-slept with him as an infant (or even now) if it had worked. We all slept poorly. What worked for us was making his bed and room more appealing than ours. He has as many things as possible to make it a comfy nest: flannel sheets, white noise, heater, double shades, down comforter, down pillow, Tempur-pedic mattress. To be honest, his bed is more comfortable than our own.

Now he loves his bed and prefers it to ours. This doesn't mean he never wakes up, or never wants company...he just wants us to come into *his* room! Another problem altogether.

I have friends whose daughter slept in their doorway for months. They moved her ever so slightly every night (seriously, like an inch) until she was back in her own room.

I sleep better alone, but as a child always shared a room with my sister and we often shared a twin bed. So I get why kids wouldn't want to sleep alone.

[liz]

First, books. I like Your Baby and Child by Penelope Leach.

Second, musical beds. MM is allowed to sleep with me on weekends if he adheres to certain rules (including acting respectfully towards me) but on weekdays, he has to stay in his own bed. We've found that a humidifier, black-out curtains, and a closed door help him to STAY asleep once he's out for the night.

And my husband and I sleep in separate rooms due to the fact that I like flannel sheets and 4 heavy quilts and he likes not being sweaty. We don't all have the same sleep styles or needs and co-sleeping doesn't work for everyone.

[Betsy]

Room sharing and larger families are a great way to get kids to sleep (or at least stay in their rooms at night.) We have 4 children: ages 10, 8, 6, and 4. Despite the fact that we have enough bedrooms in our home for each child to have his/her own bedroom, we decided from day one that our kids would share rooms. We figure room sharing teaches them good life lessons, and hopefully something about getting along with others. We've also found that it helps them to sleep, probably since no one ever has to sleep alone. We have no twin beds, only full beds, and the same-sex kids each share a room, and sleep together in a full bed. Our kids have been sleeping this way since we moved them each out of our bed when they were around age 2 and I was expecting the next child. Luckily, our oldest was an awesome sleeper who never woke at night, and none of them since her have ever tried to come into our room at night. I guess if they ever wake up at night, they feel secure enough with a sibling in bed with them.

[lucy]

Commiserations. I have found the bad sleep over a long period of time the hardest part of parenting. Actually, not just 'hard,' more like terrifying. It has affected my moods, my ability to function safely and to make good decisions.

So I found Pantley's advice to prioritise sleep in the short term, absolutely any way you can, amazingly useful. Only then, once you are not in desperate, desperate need of more sleep, need you figure out a more workable, longer term solution.

[AmyinMotown]

I have not had a chance to read all these, so forgive me, but my four year old Stubbornest Girl in the Universe (God help us all if they ever meet and marry as adults) finally stopped her midnight visits when she started getting a bedtime snack. We tend to eat dinner so late I thought there was no way she was hungry--but she was. She never complained of hunger, but once she ended up having a bedtime snack for some reason, kept asking for it, and we all realized together that helped.

Also, on the sleeping front--my husband would usually just hie off to her bed, leaving just my girl and I there.She's a huge bed hog and this helped.

[donnab]

I didn't read all the support answers yet, but wanted to chime in and say we have the same exact issue with our 2.5 year old. She's never been a good sleeper. Lately every night she wakes up right after we fall asleep. We would put her back in her bed only to have her come back every hour or two. We now have our entire bedroom floor covered with 2 queen mattresses. It's not pretty, but we do get more sleep. She's a very squirmy sleeper so there's no way I can sleep in bed with her. We tell her that she is welcome to come in our room, but that she must sleep in the other bed. We tried forever to help her stay in her room and just gave up out of exhaustion.

[Jen H.]

Only have time to read the first few comments, so sorry if some of this will be repetitive. My older son did this too, and for the most part it was fine. The time of night he'd wake and call out varied, but we always went and got him and brought him to our bed. When he hit 3, he often would sleep through, but far from always. When #2 entered the scene and was cosleeping full time, the bed (even though it was a king) was just not big enough for four. Safety was a concern too, with a wee babe in the bed.

Our solution was that when he woke up, my husband would retrieve him and take him to the spare room and cuddle in with him there (obviously not an option for everyone). It gave everyone the space and attention they wanted, and eventually my son started sleeping all night again.

I like the idea of the mattress on the floor in your bedroom. The locks on the doors (his or yours) seems like a last resort. He is getting to an age where you can be a bit more "tough love" without feeling mean. He's old enough to reason with a bit. My son was/is also the extremely stubborn type and potty training was also a nightmare with him.

Good luck! I wish we could have a followup post sometimes to find out how/if people's problems have been solved.

[Jen H.]

Oh, also - nightlights seem to help with the scariness on his room upon night waking. An obvious one, but bears repeating!

[AmyinTexas]

Have not read comment so I apologize in advance for repeating...

I slept with my parents until I was about, oh, 12!! So, yeah... you know I have a soft spot for co-sleeping. That said, I actually like to sleep when it is time to sleep as opposed to being kicked, pushed, head-butted, squashed by my kids. Elder two children both did what John's child is doing--went to bed in own beds, came in during the night to abuse me. A new marriage and a step-father cured them of that (thought, quite frankly, they were old enough by this point to have been bounced out by me). Now #3 co-sleeps and #1 asked just this morning why I let him (#3) sleep with us. I answered that I let him (#1) sleep with me for *several* (read SIX) years so it was only fair to let #3 get some time in the parental bed as well. But that got me thinking... "oh no, I'm going to have to find a way (other than a divorce and remarriage) to get #3 out of our bed before he goes to college".

So, no advice, just empathy. If it's any consolation, despite my own co-sleeping past, I never intended to be a co-sleeper. With all three kids it was a total accident and a function of my need to sleep over the need to force them to sleep in their own beds.

[Sarah V.]

Sorry, I'm doing that thing of commenting without reading the other comments first, so my apologies if this has been repeated. What I wanted to do was to say that 'How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk' has great advice on brainstorming this sort of problem together with your kid (in fact, this problem is one of the ones used in the many examples). Basically, the way it goes is:

Sympathise with him about his viewpoint. It *is* a pain not to be able to come in with Mommy and Daddy when you want to.

Be clear about your viewpoint, and why he can't come in with Mommy and Daddy (don't get sidetracked into a big argument about this - what you're trying to do at this stage is get the facts clear for the discussion that follows, which is...)

Brainstorm with your child on ideas on how to solve this dilemma. Note that the focus is not on why your child doesn't want to stay in his own bed, but on what ideas the two of you can come up with of how to solve the problem of him not wanting to do so while you want him to do so. (Obviously, if he can tell you why he doesn't want to stay in bed and if it's something you can solve, then great. But he may not be able to articulate the problem at that age, and, besides, it may just be something as simple as him preferring being in bed with you, and what are you going to do about that then?)

When you do this, get a piece of paper and write the ideas down. That shows him his views are being taken seriously, and helps you keep track of what's being said. And, although you may obviously have to veto some of the solutions proposed, *don't do that at this stage*. That kills off the brainstorming. Just focus on writing down whatever either of you come up with, including those ideas of his that you know from the start aren't going to be OK. When you've got a list, *then* you can both go through and cross off any that either of you think won't work. Whatever you're left with is the plan. (In the example given in the book, the girl came up with the idea of having a lamp and crayons and things to play with in bed, so that she was happier staying there. But what was really cool for her was being able to come up with these ideas herself, so that she felt some ownership of the plan.)

I can really recommend the whole book, BTW, plus everything else by the authors.

[Suzie]

I haven't had a chance to read all the posts so sorry if this is repeating anyone previously.

I understand that statistically children are most likely to go into their parents bed during the night between the ages of 3 and 7. So perhaps this is a problem of expectations? Beyond that it is obvious that the situation as it stands is not working -- but trying to eliminate night visits might be unrealistic?

My only suggestion would be perhaps a bed/mattress next to yours so when you are aware your son has come into your bed you can alleviate the situation by one of you moving into the extra bed. But this suggestion is based on my parenting, not yours. I hope you find something that suits your family.

[kn]

I often crawled into bed with my parents when I was growing up. I was a *very* anxious child and everything felt overwelming in the middle of the night. I definitely didn't have the words to explain it to my parents but everything felt better once I was snuggled into their bed. I remember clearly feeling panic when I woke up alone in my room. I hate to say it but I would still crawl into bed with my mom sometimes in high school when I woke up in a panic. Does your son have any other signs of anxiety like nail biting or grinding his teeth? Maybe it doesn't apply in this case but it's just another data point. I can't imagine what it would have been like if I hadn't been allowed to get that comfort from them when I needed it (although that probably wasn't every night). I've largely conquered the anxiety as an adult but I remember it being very overwelming at night....

[kathleen]

I had this problem, and at his 4-year visit, my pediatrician told me to try paying him to stay in his bed. So, we do. Every morning, he gets a quarter if he stays in his room all night long. And then, every once in awhile, he buys something.

This mostly works. It doesn't work when he's just bought something or hasn't decided what he wants to buy.

We don't make a big deal of it when he decides not to get his quarter.

People usually seem sort of shocked that we do this, but we were desperate after not having slept for 4 years. ;)

[noodlemama]

Sorry, no time to read all the comments first. Apologies in advance if this repeats others.

I do remember cycling through periods at 4, 6 and 8 years old of intense nightmares and creepy recurring dreams. I was talking with my folks about those periods when I would frequently appear in their room, tugging at the blankets saying, "Had a bad dream." And musing how it was I always ended up shuffling back to my own bed before too long instead of passing out for the whole night. Turns out the oldies were incredibly sneaky!

Each time I entered this phase, they would mention at some point during the day, nonchalantly, how big I was getting and how it could no longer be comfortable for all three of us in the bed, unlike days of old (talk up pluses of being big, casually dropping in co-sleeping discomfort as a minus).

Then, a short while into my nightmare-induced visit to their bed, they would graaaadually start rolling towards me in the center--so that within several minutes, I would be squished and wriggling in discomfort and--calmed from my nightmare, would ask annoyedly to be let out to go to my own bed where there was room to sleep.

I wasn't the stubbornest kid in the world, but I did need to think everything was my own idea.

Here we are currently in the throes of sleep deprivation with a two-year-old who can only make it until anywhere between 12:30 and 2:30 before screaming her head off in her crib. And since she's been willing since infancy to scream until vomitation, we bring her on in and get pseudo-sleep for half the night. So we are looking with trepidation at the toddler bed still in its box in the garage. John has my utmost sympathy.

[theresa]

You all are so smart. An air mattress? Brilliant, I say. In our house, the usual solution was for one of the adults (usually me, because WS is a much deeper sleeper) would move into JR's bed. The consolation is that this stage does eventually pass (except for the occasional week from h*ll - see Moxie's post today on post-holiday tantrums). At 6, almost 7, the nights JR finds his way to our bed are few and far between.

[Claire]

I thought we would never win when we transitioned my 18 month old from cot to bed due to him dangerously climbing out of the cot in the middle of the night. After months of sleepless tantrum filled nights where we just kept putting him back to bed or letting him sleep in ours while we moved onto the couch due to sheer exhaustion someone suggested putting a childproof safety gate on his room, so that his door remained open for contact, but it wasn't the parent physically restraining or placing him in his bed.

I don't know why it worked, but after months of argument it took 2 nights for him to climb himself in his own bed & sleep all night through. I NEVER would have believed it if I hadn't been the one it happened to. I don't know if that's possible for a 4 year old, and I don't know if it would work with another kid, but I do know that it beat nights of 10 hour tantrums. I think a lot of kids think they have the copyright on stubborn, and my son is one of them :o)

[michelle dm]

Another vote for the mattress on the floor.
Our at-the-time almost 2yr old daughter did this in the months before the new baby came. At first it was, 4 am or so, no big deal, then earlier and earlier, until we were lucky if WE were in bed yet! We introduced the mattress once she started coming in so early and I was so uncomfortable trying to sleep all cramped and 9 months pregnant. She took to it pretty easily, after 1-2 nights of a little resistance and a few "mumma, cover me up!" pleas. Eventually, she stopped even coming into our room and we quietly took the mattress away.
I do need to say that while she is very independent, she is generally an agreeable gal and doesn't sound anywhere as stubborn as the boy in the post. So, mileage may vary. :)

[Chrissy]

Our son sleeps in his own bed, we lock his door though (we unlock it when he's asleep). He asks us to lock it, I think he needs the physical boundry to actually get to sleep. He has a night light and a star, which is a toy, you turn it on and it plays music & projects stars, bears & moons onto the ceiling. I often hear it going in the middle of the night, it plays for 10 mins, and I generally only hear one cycle. Maybe you could get something like that for your son, and teach him that if he wakes up he has to listen/watch one cycle before he comes into your bed, more often than not my son is back asleep before the cycle finishes.

[true religion outlet]

I guess one of the perks of celebrity is being able to find a publisher for nonsense that would, quite correctly, be rejected out of hand were it submitted by an average hack. Like Dan, I've no idea what point Bono is trying to make beyond a) he knew Frank Sinatra and b) people like Sinatra's songs.

[Fernanda]

Oh no, I am right there with you, even after 6 years! Since Faith started meloatnin, last year, she has been better but she still wakes a few times a night. ARGGGGGG...Sending a nap via blogger, LOL!

[Omnia]

I haven't tried natural sleep aids breofe. I've only tried unisom. My work schedule is quite hectic and changes constantly so it is hard to get my body on a normal sleeping schedule.

[Som]

I do that, too. It's still tough for them to make the top bunk, though. Andy hefulpl hints for that?[] Reply:August 27th, 2010 at 5:57 amI don't really have any hefulpl hints for making that top bunk. Since we have VERY heavy sleepers and I'm afraid of them falling out of bed, we don't put kids in the top bunks until they are a bit older (9-11 or so), so maybe we haven't run into that as much.[]

[Francisco]

OMG .I could just gobble her up!!!! Kinda makes me want to have atohner precious baby!!! Love her expression when daddy is giving her a kiss! Already has him wrapped around her finger!!! Great job Erin!

[Auth]

First of all i think you should keep your son out the eoitauqn to start with you dont want him gettin attached and it doesn't work out. I have a son and have to deal with the same challenges. I kno its hard cuz your a single mum. But show this guy your a decent caring mother whos not on games. Guys respect that, it might make him want to earn the right to be around you and your son.With tryin to get to kno each other, Ask him what he is into that relates to goin out. E.G. ask him if he goes cinema what films he likes horrors comedys and then tell him a film that you would like to watch matchin his preferences and suggest you go together. Or ask if he eats out what types of food he likes and dependin on the asnwer suggest a really nice restuarant that you should take him to thats something he hasnt tried before or something he really likes. DO YOUR RESEARCH!!!!.Dnt give all to soon let him want to find out. You'll just look desparte needy and lonely. Trust me I have gone through it all.Although this all hard to stick to after so long, but most of all respect yourself and he will respect you Good luck hun and good on you for gettin back out there xXxYes thats exactly wat i was on about drop it to him casually good luck

[Noriko]

these people have lived here a yr. Had 2wks to clean BEFORE I moved in,said they were cleinang it.NOTHING was cleaned,ever! PREVIOUS MALE TENANT left in drawers used/dirty earplugs,dandruff shampoo,shavers,toothpaste,soap,toilet brush,dirty towels ect. He supposedly took the ONLY keys to the LOCKING bathroom door. Gregg MAGICALLY got them back when I called the sherrif the 3rd time.Karen said the man left,never even comes to church, they have no idea where he was or took off too?or why?really?

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@J: The idea that a baby should be sleeping through the night at 12 months old is ludicrous to me. I know you need sleep, but please don't feel like a failure because your baby isn't sleeping. It's normal!