PMS: Friend or Enemy?

Sorry, the title was just a little Ames & Ilg joke for those of us with both PMS *and* a 3 1/2-year-old right now...

Anyway, I was wondering if we could talk about PMS. I get it, but don't have mood swings. Instead, I get really clumsy. Yesterday I stubbed my toe on the oven and slammed my anklebone into the wall in the space of 3 minutes (all before 7 am), and the rest of the day continued that way. Years ago when I was working in a professional kitchen I cut myself with a knife 11 times in one 14-hour shift. My mom used to get clumsy PMS, too, but I haven't heard of this happening to anyone else.

It makes me wonder if there are different forms of PMS that we just haven't heard or thought of before.

Would you guys be willing to share what happens to you before you get your menstrual period, and if there's anything you've done that lessens whatever symptoms you have?

Comments

[Auburn]

Migraines. I got one for the first time since having my son 1 year ago. Had forgotten how awful they were. It had been so long I thought maybe I was done with them. This is my second cycle. We're still nursing pretty frequently so I had hoped that even though my period was back that might keep them at bay. Oh well. Have not tried the heavy duty drugs with them ever because I only get a really bad one every 2-3 months or so.

Never heard of clumsy PMS. Weird.

[Cassie]

Definitely clumsy. I clip my shoulders walking through doorways all the time when I'm about to get my period. And turn over on my ankles when wearing heels. And drop everything. It took me a long time before I made the connection (and in fact I think it was my husband that actually pointed it out to me) -- I used to think I was just a klutz *all* the time. Really bad mood swings/anger flashes too, along with headaches and/or migranes (I get both). Also I grind my teeth more in my sleep, and I think my exzema gets worse. If you think about all the things that happen to you when you're pregnant due to hormone surges (my exzema got worse, my migranes disappeared), it's not that surprising that PMS hormone fluctuations cause all sorts of odd stuff. I take magnesium for the migranes -- it doesn't work quite as well during my "third week" but I haven't tried not taking it to see if the migranes would be much worse. I have no solution for the clumsy, except I try not to wear heels when I notice I'm starting to bang into things. I'd love a solution for the mood swings. That part of it seems to be much worse since having my son (2 years ago); the rest seems marginally better.

[Christi]

My skin breaks out, my IBS gets worse, and I get mood swings.

I honestly think I've heard of clumsy PMS before, but I can't remember where. I'm not sure if it was something a friend had or something I read about.

[Shalini]

I get mood swings, and super tired... but since I'm pregnant, I'm just so insanely tired. Like nap city all the time.

I hate PMS. But I think I'd rather have that then get a stubbed toe every time. That's gotta hurt worse!

[chaosgirl]

Moxie, I'm with you on getting clumsy; I clip my hips and shoulders, or better yet, drop the same thing over and over and over again. I get moody and melancholic, and generalize these negative feelings to everything, and have to work to remind myself that the world isn't ending, I'm just about to get my period.

[Jessica]

Migraines and sometimes my skin is worse. Some people have expressed the opinion that I am moodier and more irritable than normal (heh!) and I usually feel bloated until the first day. I am naturally very clumsy. I have never thought of a correlation but will watch for it next month.

[Jen]

My face breaks out and I become a raging bee-atch. Same as when I was 15. Sigh.

[Jill]

I'm not sure if it is clumsiness or if my perception is off, or if it is just concentration in general. I also have trouble driving. My reaction time is fine, but I have trouble staying in my lane, and parking, and things like that. I suspect when I get hurt, rather than clumsiness, it is part of the whole issue of whatever is going on.

Extra calcium helps with the screaming, as does some wine.

[mandi]

I get headaches, mood swings, really really tired, nausous, my IBS goes into overdrive and I can't sleep. Wonderful.
I found that working out helps allievate most of these to not even noticable levels, so I try to go for a run 3 times a week.

[Strugi]

I get clumsy and anxious. I have not figured out how to deal with the clumsy and fortunately when I feel incredibly anxious if I look at the calendar and realize that it is PMS I can calm myself down and function. It is not fun though.

[Jill in Atlanta]

bad skin, bloating, grumpiness, tiredness
I'm curious about the clumsiness b/c I go through times when I seem to lose my knowledge of how to walk through doorways without bumping. I'm going to pay attention to when these things happen.

[Diane]

There is a lot of crying. The world seems to be coming to an end. And I KNOW "this is just PMS", and yet I still feel like "no, maybe the world is just ending." My poor husband. I'm not really snappy, just overly sensitive to everything. And I get horribly exhausted.

Just had baby #2, am enjoying these final months of PMS-free life. Even with EBF, it came back only 3 months in last time. Anyone else get it back that fast? Or did I just win the PMS lottery?

[Diane]

Oh! And bloating. That's usually the first sign. Pants not fitting. I blame the moodiness on that, in part. How can one be cheerful when one's pants don't fit?

[jl]

I get clumsy, drop things, hit walls / tables. I also get mood swings, bloating, sleep issues and migraines (though these have gotten fewer since I had my daughter). It's not a great time. I haven't found anything that really helps - I'm a regular exerciser (4-5 times/wk), eat pretty well . . .

[jbq+h]

Wow, Moxie! I was just wondering yesterday what to do about my PMS symptoms while caring for my little ones (especially the often-obstinate three year old).

I don't know about clumsiness--I'm always clumsy, but I get very angry in bursts (I sadly find myself yelling, which I never do the rest of the month, which in turn makes me more angry) and quite tired.

Going outside helps with the anger a bit, but what can I do when I feel the blood boiling at bedtime and I'm the only one home to put them to bed?

Thanks for another timely post!

[sheSaid]

Extra moody (like swing, back and forth between extremes) achy, and I used to get headaches. The horrible cramps.
I made all of those better by changing my diet.
I upped my protein (alot) started taking fish oils, and upped the calcium too. Now I am cutting out heavily processed carbs and sugar (this messes with my mood and how good my body feels).

[Kisha]

This is completely impossible, but I have found, over and over, that I start getting sick right around the time of my period. I am all woeful about how I don't want to get sick... the sore throat, the achey muscles, the beginnings of a runny nose. I settle in for a few days of misery... and then when the period actually starts, the symptoms go away and I am in fact, not sick at all. I thought it was a coincidence at first but it happens almost every time.

[Erica]

I've gotten (more)clumsy ever since I first started menstruating--my mom pointed it out. I get moody. And I get achy in a way that no ibuprofen can help--almost sick, like Kisha. Then once I get my period, the cramps start, and then the migraines. Ugh. I haven't had my period in almost 2 years because of pregnancy and breast feeding--and wow, I don't miss it one bit!

[ML]

I think Jill hit on something--I personally don't get clumsy PMS, but during pregnancy, something goes a little wonky with my perception and/or concentration. I was able to do all the yoga balancing postures at 8mo as pre-preg, but I could NOT, even if my life depended on it, keep from dribbling some of my lunch on my shirt. There were food stains on my shirt EVERY *&^%DAY. And I'd cut myself with knives (even though I'm pretty good about avoiding this in my not-preg state) while prepping dinner. I think it has something to do with those hormones...

[Kelly]

I was either pregnant or breastfeeding for four years so having my period back now is a whole new experience.

I get the regular breakouts and mood swings. I also think about locking the husband out of the house daily.

[Stephanie]

I am super noise sensitive when I am PMSing or pregnant. It goes along with general crankiness in general. It seems like everyone is eating louder, people seem to be opening packages louder, breathing louder....

[KateW]

Migraines, dark thoughts, catastrophizing... Now that I'm pregnant with my 2nd, I still haven't had a period in almost 3 years (caught that first egg!) and I DO NOT miss them!

[marsupial jones]

PMS. I have it. All the stuff mentioned above including break-outs, headaches, moodiness, tiredness, and clumsiness. The question is what do we do about it? What works?

What I have found to be most helpful is to be loving to myself. I know that sounds corny. I think of PMS as my body's way of reminding me that I need to take care of myself, that I need to pamper a little bit. Rather than raging against it, I take more time to sleep if I can, take more time to read and rest and relax. I think acknowledging the raging hormonal bath that occurs each month is helpful.

I have wondered, too, if part of the reason PMS is so hard on the body and mind is related to the prep that the body goes through, getting all ready to implant and have an egg, getting ready to make life and POOF-No life and no implantation. Just shedding and a little blood. I guess maybe I wonder if there's a little bit of "mourning" going on.

I certainly don't mean we should feel guilty that we aren't pregnant and making life every month. Rather, I think it's helpful to acknowledge to ourselves and to our bodies the intense work going on and even the disappointment our uterus might have at being empty. Almost being thankful to our body and giving it space and time to heal from the loss and stress and busy-ness. Maybe this is all very weird and "out-there."

Concretely, I drink more water, try to avoid tons of caffeine, take ibuprofen when I think it'll help, and breath and try to remind myself that it will pass.

[Shannon]

Super depressed and tired. And like Diane said, I know it's just PMS, but things still seem desperate.

One PMS symptom my friend has is that she gets really cold and can't warm up. I've never heard of that one before.

[HeatherD]

I definitely have intense clumsiness when I have PMS. In fact, it's either that or a melancholic fog of depression and exhaustion that usually clues either me, or my husband, into the fact that my period is hours away. I usually drop things - spoons and bowls seem to just leap out of my hands, and I can't manipulate objects with ease. I have no idea why this happens, but I have consistently noticed it for several years in conjunction with PMS and haven't found a way to prevent it from happening. It sneaks up on me everytime. Once I notice, I seem to be able to bring some awareness to the situation and curtail any major disasters, but that's my only coping mechanism so far.

[marsupial jones]

I have read and re-read my post and just want to make it really clear that I don't think anyone should feel guilty or bad during/about PMS. And I really don't want to come off as a weirdo!

[Slim]

For those of you hating your PMS symptoms, be afraid: for me, perimenopause has been my usual PMS symptoms (migraine, breakouts, crabbiness), only more so and more often because my periods are more frequent, plus constant nausea unrelated to the migraines.

You're welcome!

Exercise and ground flaxseed every day help. A little.

[Ashramama]

With me, it's anger anger anger. And it ALWAYS seems to happen when I'm solo parenting. Really I should make the most of the energy the anger gives me, because I literally swoop through the house like a great big angry blackbird. Just think how much I could get done, if I didn't have a whiny toddler clinging to my legs? my poor son either starts having tantrums with me or cowers for three days.

Also, it's not just a few days of grumpiness. I get it a week before, for a day or two, then the day before I start the period I go into monster mode, which lasts for about 4 days. Then it's all change, sweetness and light and loveliness for about a day at the end of the period, then normal for about two weeks.

What I really struggle with is discipline during the monster phase - all respectful/kind stuff goes out of the window and I'm all about compliance, compliance compliance. Any tips on how to manage this, other than breathing deeply and counting to ten?

[enu]

Chemo--->premature menopause. Do I get to gloat? No more PMS (which never bothered me much), no more cramps, bleeding, etc.

Still extremely clumsy ;-(

[hedra]

I haven't much paid attention to the PMS lately. Which isn't to say it isn't whacking me, just that I've lost track. I'm currently tracking a lot of cycle symptoms (including mood) because I'm in the midst of diagnostics for endometrial issues. It's interesting how much the anxiety and frustration are part of the hormones for me. I'll have to look at clumsy, too. Joint swelling tends to make me clumsy, no idea if that's involved here.

@Ashramama, since my hormones are probably completely out of whack right now (see above), I'm seeing a lot more trouble keeping away from compliance demands (or they're more random) at times. It's hard, because just saying 'I choose to not get angry as a first response' is not as easy to implement as one might think. I'm way past 'choose' by the time I realize something is off. Couple of things that have helped lately - making sure the kids feel empowered to let me know when they think I'm over the line (Miss M saying, 'you yelled, I didn't like that' did actually help me calm down, though not entirely), having someone else watching me for it (friends or family) and having something they can say to reel me back in (sigh, sorry that one's not as much help), spending more time out in public (because I put myself in a more distant position in public, observing both myself and my kids from a different perspective, which gives me the DISTANCE I need to be able to think before I react).

I don't want to hold the distance all the time, but I need to remember to step back and observe more - that's the main thing that lets me step back. PMS or other hormone swings I think tend to drag me RIGHT into my body, which makes it harder for me to get a perspective, if that makes sense. In order to be 'mindful' I have to not just be 'bodyful' - I have to be both physically AND mentally present.

Which is often a great deal of work. Whee.

[hedra]

@enu, my mom had a hysterectomy (ovaries remained), and then only very mild menopause symptoms. It sounded pretty nice.

[Julie]

having PMS and living with a 3 1/2 year old.....I'm not sure I can see a difference......

[CJ]

I get clumsy both premenstrually and during pregnancy. I have wondered if it's related to having my body be the wrong size. If I'm retaining a bit of fluid and my hands are slightly bigger than usual, is that why I drop things more easily or can't keep my fingers out of the path of the paring knife?

I've just had a baby, so I'm looking forward to a nice long stretch of not dealing with either pregnancy or PMS. :-) (Not gloating, just looking forward to it.)

Fish oil helps me with the foul mood PMS symptoms. A midwife I know suggests buying fish oil produced from small ocean fish like sardines and herring -- much cheaper than the ultra-purified stuff, and being lower on the aquatic food chain significantly cuts the contaminant exposure.

[violingirl]

My PMS has been getting worse lately- no idea what's going on that's making it worse, but it's been very bad compared to the usual stuff for the last 3 or 4 months. Lately it's migraines, a LOT of anger, and feeling generally ill. My body aches, and I'm exhausted and the ovarian pain is fairly intense.

I have infertility issues so I'm not really sure anymore which of these symptoms are related to the cysts/my abnormal body and which are related to good ol' PMS.

I've been making general diet changes anyway, but they've been fairly recent, so still waiting to see about the effects on the PMS. I've cut out caffeine completely and I'm trying to reduce sugary stuff.

[Diane]

Hmm ... Maybe Hedra's got something there? Maybe the bloating/swelling gets us a bit off balance? Even if you don't have noticeable bloat, maybe even a minor amount can cause the clumsies? Or maybe our inner ears just get bloated too ;)

[shanna]

I get into loud, overblown arguments with my husband over truly absurd things. At least one such argument, one or two days before I get my period. Always, always ends with me in tears. Over NOTHING. And I still can't make the connection in the midst of the argument and thereby just get myself to calm down. Very annoying to say the least - I'm amazed that he can handle it.

The next morning (or day after that) it's always: "oh. Right. That's why. Sorry."

[effective nancy]

Mmh. I get crabbycrabby, worse skin, and here's my weird one: I tend to bleed more right before my period. Like, I'll get a paper cut, or accidentally tear a hangnail, or something, and it's more often going to bleed if it happens in the week before my period.

I also find now that my milk feels less when I'm in that downswing, and the opposite when I think I'm ovulating. So every month since I started my period again, I wonder if my supply will drop to nil and we're going to wean (13 months now, a personal victory after such a painful start that getting to 2 weeks nearly killed me).

[kristen]

Super cranky and irrational. That's my biggest problem. I have the bloating and other physical discomforts but the emotions are the hardest to deal with. It was easier when my periods were regular because I could talk myself down but since my period has come back after 26 months without it, sigh. My husband will try to tell me I'm being cranky which just makes it worse of course. Then the back ache and bloat start and I realize I really am cranky!

[Jen L.]

I get really clumsy, too. I drop things like there's no tomorrow! I also get over-emotional...gee, that was LOTS of fun when I also had PPD. My face still breaks out a little, but not like when I was in my early 20s. And my boobs get really sore. Like REALLY sore.

[mo]

Extreme tiredness and back pain but then the kicker is I can NOT sleep the two to three days before I start my period. Ugh. I just lay there and know I am tired and still can't sleep. Every month.

[momgawaga]

I have several friends who are clumsy; I don't have that with PMS, but I did with pregnancy. I actually fell "up" a set of subway stairs when 5 months pregnant. (Don't worry, people walked right around me!)
In addition to big old cystic breakouts, I am PMS anxious, so anxious that I verge on (and sometimes go over to) paranoid. I have no friends, I'm going to lose my job, I'm a terrible mother, etc. Exercise is the only thing that has helped at all, although I am going to try some of the suggestions above.

[Elizabeth]

I get mood swings that are almost like depression, beginning a day or two before my period. I start wondering why my husband bothers to stay with me and how my daughter is going to grow up to be okay with such an awful mother as me. I used to take birth control pills that helped (although I don't remember the PMS being this bad before I went on them), but since I am still nursing (and hoping my husband decides he's ready for another baby) I haven't gone back on. I was without my period for almost 18 months after the baby was born, so when it came back it really seemed bizarre, and it took me awhile to figure out that it was just PMS.

[Nutmeg]

I'm a relatively raging lunatic for the entire luteal phase. So basically I'm bleeding for a week, happy for a week and crazy for two weeks. It's AWESOME.

No seriously. I am extremely short tempered and somewhat mean. I recognize it and apologize for it, and my husband is understanding and has seen me even worse than things currently are, but it isn't FAIR or nice. I'm actually pretty patient with my son, on the other hand. I am always fatigued so I don't notice that it is worse.

I also have normal skin issues. Bonus though... I think I'm not nearly as lactose intolerant toward my period. I can eat CEREAL!

[laura]

I typically get the standard migraine/tension headache, bloating, the sensitive skin (DON'T. TOUCH. ME!!!!!!!) and even the clumsiness.

However, as long as I start taking Evening Primrose Oil right before my symptoms are about to start, I'm fine - like no-symptoms fine, and my cramps are basically non-existent.

You should definitely try EPO!

Another thing that has really helped the severity of my cramps is using a menstrual cup. I use the Diva Cup and like it quite well. I think because it creates a tiny bit of suction against the cervix, it helps the blood eliminate faster. My periods are about 12-24 hours SHORTER now that I've been using my cup for about 6 months. I also don't get those achey-leg type cramps anymore; it's all much more manageable.

Since we're on the PMS topic, let me throw this out here in case anyone else experiences the same thing...

My nursing toddler gets PMS right along with me!!!

When my period first started up again she was 15 months, we both experienced SEVERE PMS symptoms - basically felt like the onset of the stomach flu. We'd both have diarrhea, horrible bloating and gas cramps, severe lactose intolerance, and nausea.

She'd throw up the first milk of the morning on THE DAY that my period would start, and then all our symptoms would vanish completely.

No one I ever talked to ever legitimated our experience as a possibility but I KNOW that it was PMS and not just 4 months of totally coincidental symptoms JUST before my period started.

p.s. Does anyone else's DP experience PMS right along with you? Mine does! Whee!

[much more than a mom]

My husband knows my period is coming when I start breaking drinking glasses and dropping everything. I'm glad to hear it's not just me!

[Jojo]

My skin breaks out, and won't heal until my period is over. I get constipated. I MUST eat junk food. I'll sit there shoving junk in my mouth while thinking how stupid it is, yet I have no ability to stop eating.

But, the worst part of PMS is the several hour rage that takes me over. Some months, it's just a few hours of bitchiness. Other months, I'm so angry that I tremble. Everything gets to me, especially sounds. I've learned how to contain it, so I don't inflict the suffering on others. But it just tears me up. It has even happened while I'm sleeping, and I have an endless feeling dream full of pure rage.

Then, after a few hours, it passes. I'm a little tired, but for the most part, I just go back to myself.

[MrsHaley]

@Diane -- I'm on the first day of the first cycle since my EBF baby was born 3 months ago. That's right. 3 months. Awesome.

Symptoms: migraines, breakouts, grouchy / moody / blue, insomnia.

Like others have mentioned, I ALWAYS forget about the symptoms and start wondering why I'm feeling extra crazy, then I start to bleed and it's like, "Oooooh. I get it. That's why." I wish I could remember so it wouldn't freak me out so much.

[hush]

Back at school, a feminist professor of biology made the claim that "PMS" is a social construct. A good synopsis of this claim can be found here:

http://community.feministing.com/2008/10/pms-is-a-social-construction.html

[June]

I always get crazy-hungry right before I start. I'm usually not a big eater, so my husband always knows when I get seconds of dinner, the period is coming soon!

[Sky]

I used to get cystitis every month, one week before my period was due, plus the usual outbreak of spots and a much shorter fuse on my temper. The cystitis is much less frequent now I've changed to decaffeinated tea (I don't drink coffee) and limit my intake of coke. PMS - one of the many joys of being a woman!