Ouch

Remember back when you thought the phrase "seeing stars" was figurative? It isn't.

I just can't finish and post the post I was working on last night, because this morning T was jumping in excitement and clocked me with the top of his hard little head in my nose so hard I saw stars (really) and almost threw up. So I've been trying to sleep it off all day, but all the bones in my face are aching. I don't think anything's broken, although how would I know? My actual nose feels fine, but my cheekbones back to my ears and forehead are throbbing and tender.

But enough about my problems. Today's question, since I can't muster anything better, is: What is the most painful experience you've had with your child? (And let's say birth doesn't count, or else it could turn into misery poker.)

I'm going to pop some more ibuprofen and see if slouching upright on the couch does more for me than lying down did.

Comments

[Katherine]

Actually, thinking back, my worst mama pain was when my stitches for my tears (one degree labial and one degree vaginal) got infected. I wanted to curl up in a ball and DIE. I was feverish and they were so inflamed and painful. Apparently, there's an enzyme that nearly everyone makes that dissolves those soluble stitches. As you might have gathered... I do not make this enzyme, apparently. So they didn't dissolve and were EMBEDDED in the tissue. FUN TIMES.

[Quadelle]

Moxie, I'm with those that reckon you'd be safest getting checked out.

@caramama our son peed on me (but rarely his father) multiple times a day his first couple of months. I'm so glad he's stopped doing it, although part of me did find it rather funny.

Does something during pregnancy count? My first pregnancy caused my gall bladder to go berserk, causing daily pain sessions lasting 2-12 hours while stones passed. But I had two instances of stones stuck for four days straight that landed me in hospital, one having caused pancreatitis. It was awful.

[MFA Mama]

Emotionally there was That Time My Baby Spent Five Months Trying To Die in 2005. Man, that sucked! May nobody reading this ever have a doctor tell them "there's one more thing we can try, but if that doesn't work..." Fortunately it did.

Physically? Oh, probably the time my ex balanced a tv on top of a tv stand (ha! HAHAHA! So not-good for balancing tvs on!) and the same child was learning to walk and pulled himself up on the front of it and in slow motion I saw it start to tip over onto him and managed to lunge across the room and snatch him up and back but was so hyperfocused on the baby that I neglected to move my own body and the thing fell on my foot. OW! But I'd take the broken foot over the flat baby any day.

Don't put tvs on tv stands that weigh less than they do, kids.

[Jen L.]

Yowza, Moxie! Hope you're feeling better!

My one year old son is OBSESSED with nipples! I guess he's been weaned long enough to have forgotten the good old days of breastfeeding because every time he sees my husband or me without our shirts on, he grabs a nipple and pulls as hard as he can. While it's HILARIOUS when he does it to my husband, it hurts like h*** when he does it to me! :)

[Aaron]

No time to read others posts. When my daughter was 12 mos old she dropped the lid of a Lagostina pasta pot and it landed sharp edge smack in the middle of my big toe nail. The worst part was that we were in the process of moving. I wasn't much help after that!

[Amanda Too]

Okay, so not the *worst* pain, but the alligators are just getting their teeth in now at 13 months. Two weeks, two mouths, eight teeth. I didn't know I had it so good with the toothless wonders. Does the sharp, pointy-ness of the new tooth edge ever smooth out? I am in serious pain now when tandem nursing because the V-angle causes the upper fangs, I mean teeth, to press deeper into the nipple. I have four dark purple imprints on the top of my nipples when I'm finished. Ouch!

Feel better soon, Moxie. And everyone else, be careful! Motherhood is apparently a full-contact sport!

[Bethiclaus]

I can't think of anything painful with my children off the top of my head, but I believe that is only because I whacked myself in the face with my laptop yesterday (don't ask - I'm less than coordinated) and have a black eye today.

[Luann]

I'm another victim of the 2-year-old headbutt - what on earth makes their heads so damn hard? Only thing that ever hurt worse was a time when he and I both dozed off while he was nursing. In his sleep, he clamped his jaw shut - on my nipple - and despite my screaming and frantic efforts to pry him off, did not stir for what seemed like an eternity. I'm sure it wasn't more than 30 seconds, but it felt like hours. Couldn't nurse on that side for a while after, was black and blue, and the not-nursing caused problems of its own.

Moxie, are you still conscious?

[Rob]

Well, I have Crohn's disease. My three year old son, who happens to be trapped in a five year old body (read, really big dude) and I were wrestling on the floor, and he stood up and decided to ghetto stomp me on an inflamed day. I thought for a moment that something inside had ruptured, and I cried a little, but in a manful way... But he said he was sorry like three times, so I had to suck it up....

[Lisa]

Moxie, please get checked out for concussion - my husband has been dealing with the (pretty severe) effects from a "moderate" concussion for the past 14 months now. Early detection helps - as, in his case, have a good neurologist and an amazing craniosacral therapist/acupuncturist.

[Angela]

Moxie!
I'm really impressed with this blog. I don't have children but am recommending it to all my friends who do. Hope you're feeling better.

[Sarah]

@mom2boys, I feel your pain. I locked DS1 in the car when I was 8 weeks pregnant with DS2, I also locked my purse and cell phone in there. I was in a supermarket car park. A lovely lady lent me her cell phone and thankfully the RACV (AAA) only took 15 mins to get there. I cried the whole time.

I can't think of any specific child induced injury but there have been many that have bought tears to my eyes. Mastitis (5 times) is also at the top of my list.

Hope you are okay Moxie, if you are still in a heap of pain by the morning please get it seen

[Shelley]

Moxie, very interested in an update -- hope you're feeling better.

So far sounds like I've been pretty lucky with mine -- there have been some ouch moments, of course, but these take the cake! Be careful out there everyone ;)

(Bethiclaus, if it makes you feel better I once got a black eye from walking into a wall after getting up to pee in the middle of the night. It was in high school so half my teachers were concerned there was some problem at home or something -- I appreciated that they were paying attention, but man was that embarrassing to explain!)

[Kate]

Physical: Gallbladder attacks that started when the kid was a few months old.

Emotional: Not being able to lift the kid for a couple of weeks after having the gallbladder out. Brutal.

[caramama]

Thanks, all!

[hedra]

@Amanda too, yes, the teeth round out. Give them something firm to chew on, it will speed up the process. They will stop shaving your skin and over-using the teeth for holding on soon... I promise.

I didn't realize we were doing emotional whammies. I'm with the 'child attempting to die' as the worst, though at least I knew mine *wasn't* dying much sooner. Likewise, wouldn't wish that experience on anyone, even though mine was a blip by comparison. Having a child present with bloody diarrhea and a fast-growing lump on the abdomen at 5 weeks old wasn't much fun, either, especially when the docs couldn't figure out what the lump was, and the surgery to take it out to figure that detail out took an extra 20 minutes (longest 20 minutes of my life). Turned out to be benign, but we didn't know that for a good week and a bit. Whee.

Nothing like being hostage to their happiness and wellbeing for the rest of our lives...

[Jenny]

Physical pain -- does a kidney infection during pregnancy count? That was agony. If not, then it was those first weeks of nursing, when I had bleeding nipples and blisters and spent my nursing time weeping.

Emotional -- I had the exact same situation as anon -- someone called the police on me when I was dealing with my daughter's tantrum. Except I hadn't been as virtuous as she had, and I did yell at my daughter (she'd been horrible all day, and this was only the last in a series of tantrums, and I was worn out. But no hitting or screaming or dangling by ankles!) I am not over that. I don't know if it will ever be a funny story. Awful awful awful.

[oakley sunglasses]

[*]Jackie is leaving so she can spend more time seeing the world, so I've bought it off of her. It's a good deal as far as I'm concerned. She's created a stunning business that does really well. //

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[Nathamon]

i commend any woman who even atmptets to bf for a day. i had a lactation consultant make me feel guilty as we were never able to latch without a shield and she basically told me i am lucky to be living now because 100 years ago without pumps and shields my baby would be dead. needless to say i didn't use her services anymore. i pumped for 14 weeks before my second battle with mastisis which landed me in the hospital at which point i decided to wean from the machine. congrats to you for making it as long as you did.

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