Tooth-losing rituals

The big news around here is that my older son (6 1/2) finally has a loose tooth.

He's not really enjoying it, since it's at the point at which it hurts and is hanging on by the root and it's making it hard for him to eat.

We started talking about the Tooth Fairy yesterday, so he knew to keep the tooth if it fell out at school. Then his dad and I got on the same page about exactly what the Tooth Fairy was going to leave (we'd decided on a dollar coin, although that may actually be low for Manhattan--I know a couple of kids who got five dollars! per tooth). They're at their dad's for the weekend, so the Tooth Fairy will probably come there. (Let's not talk about how sad it makes me not to be there for his first Tooth Fairy experience. Probably as sad as it made his dad not to watch him see the election results come in on Tuesday night. Divorce sucks.)

I love the Tooth Fairy, as it's all about myth and ritual. So I'd love to talk a little about what your own tooth-losing rituals are, if you're from someplace that doesn't have a Tooth Fairy or Tooth Fairy Equivalent (that would be a good name for an electronic music project, wouldn't it?). If you do come from a Tooth Fairy culture, do you do anything special?

Comments

[MorahLaura]

It's all about the Sacajaweas in our house. My not-quite-6 yr old has lost 2 teeth already. The Tooth Fairy (my husband, he's stealthier) takes the tooth from, and puts the coin in, a little tin (hidden under the pillow) given to my daughter by her grandmother for just that purpose. She knows it's a parent who does it but she still loves the ritual.

[Shandra]

Not a ritual but my son (3) recently started putting his fingers in his mouth all. the. time. again. After some questioning it turns out he is wriggling his teeth to make them fall out. Can you tell he's in a 3-6 y.o. classroom?

On the rituals: in my house the tooth fairy left various coins from around the world. I still have them... including the mystic land of mermaids (Weekie Wachee).

[enu]

We had the Tooth Fairy, which worked out okay with a few glitches on the way (the swallowed tooth, the night there was no-way-no-how we were slipping anything under the pillow without waking the child up, etc.)

We also had The Book Fairy (that's me... the Tooth Fairy is realy, you know) who leaves books - purchased used or new - in surprising places. Could be under your pillow, but could be in your lunch bag. Or even, when you go to sit down at table at night, there's something on your chair. The kids loved the Book Fairy....

[Cathy]

In our house, the tooth is left in a sealed envelope under the pillow, although I'm considering sewing a pouch or finding a tooth pillow/pocket of some sort. I have no idea how my tooth fairy ever found a single baby tooth just randomly left under the pillow without waking me up.

[MamaBird]

No teeth being lost in my house yet (they're still just arriving) but when I was a kid, the tooth fairy was named Henry. I don't know why, but I loved that, and I plan to continue the tradition. A male tooth fairy it is.

[Maria]

I love the idea of the Book Fairy. Definitely putting that one into effect immediately.

I had a tooth fairy who left a dime and I too have no idea how she found my tooth. My daughter has a hard enough time letting go of stuff that it's possible she'll object to any fairy absconding with her tooth. Cross that bridge when we get to it I guess. I tried getting her into the Hallowe'en Fairy, who would leave a toy in exchange for some of the candy, but she Would Not Have That and has insisted for the past 2 years on leaving a note on the front door for the H.F. asking her NOT to take and candy and promising to brush teeth extra well. Sigh.

[Kate]

I love the book fairy story! My kids would go nuts over that.

My daughter loves the Robert McCloskey book "One Morning in Maine," which has a loose tooth as a central plot point. She is completely obsessed with the idea--and worried about it hurting (like Sal, the main character, is when she discovers the loose tooth). We have to talk about it every couple of days. Or sometimes a couple of times a day. The problem is that she is only 4, probably at least 12 months away from her first loose tooth, so I might LOSE MY MIND before she loses her first tooth.

I think my mom, who was just here for a week and therefore got sucked into the "One Morning in Maine" obsession, is planning to buy her a tooth pillow. And grandma also regaled her with tales of my lost teeth, including the one I lost (and then lost track of on the playground) at school when I was 5.

We'll probably be boring and use money. She sleeps like the dead, so it will be easy.

[parisienne mais presque]

Here in France, the Tooth Fairy subcontracts to a mouse.

(The Easter Bunny is replaced by, I kid you not, the church bells in Rome, which somehow make chocolate magically materialize on Easter morning. Although I'm not one to argue about how or why someone or something has provided me with chocolate, I still scratch my head a bit.)

I find the Tooth Mouse rather endearing. We're still in the tooth acquisition phase here at Chez Petit, so I don't know which myth we'll go with when it is time, or whether the designated dental envoy will deal in dollars or Euros.

I guess we'll just wait and check the exchange rate in five years.

[AmyinTexas]

Yes, divorce does suck! I missed the first tooth as well. But you know what? Since then I've had plenty of teeth...

Something else I've noticed about divorce and how kids feel about it versus the parents... everyone thinks different things are important and communication with the kids is *key*. My daughter (6) is getting very frustrated by the back and forth, but her brother (8) has actually requested more of it! He rejoices that he gets to do so many things twice (like birthday parties), while my daughter is clearly frustrated by that kind of stuff. So, while it might kill you to miss the first tooth... your son probably won't think anything about your missing it.

I think on the first tooth that my ex sent the tooth back to me so I could play tooth fairy as well and we told the boy that the Tooth Fairy wanted to come to both houses. We don't do that anymore... and since we are a $5/tooth family (I know, outrageous!), my ex and I actually encourage the kids to pull out the teeth at the other parent's house!! ;)

I love the idea of the foreign coin!

[amyinhouston]

In our house, the tooth is placed under the pillow. The tooth fairy comes in the middle of the night and leaves a dollar coin and "fairy dust" (glitter). Although you have to launder the sheets the next morning, it is a big hit!

[Kristin]

I have cross stitched a tooth fairy pillow for each of my kids to use. They have a cute picture of a "Toothasaurus Rex" and a pocket for the tooth/money to be in.

[Catherine]

Oh, I love the Book Fairy! We will have to implement that one, once J is old enough to grasp it.

We are still a 4-tooth household, so this is all far in the future for us, but I imagine it will be Sacajaweas for us. (Where do y'all get them? There's a vending machine at my office that gives them in change, but there's no guarantee it'll still be around in 5 years.)

I love the foreign coins bit also, and we may do that as well (one dollar coin and one foreign coin), as it gives me something to do with my collection, most of which are useless because they're from countries that have since gone to the Euro. Oh hey, and I also have some old NY transit tokens that could be used also...

[Sharon aka Mommie Mentor]

There are lots of wonderful rituals for the tooth fairy, but I also have a warning so you don't let your child down when he looses a tooth.

Warning: Don't forget! We learned the hard way that it's really easy to forget to call the tooth fairy when you're tired.

We created a cloth bag that was placed on the bedroom door handle. That way we didn't accidentally wake the child when we went hunting for a tooth under his pillow. The bag was brightly colored so we would see it as we did the last night time check on the kids. Nothing makes a parent feel worthless faster than forgetting a ritual you created.

[meggiemoo]

My son has awhile to go before he loses his teeth, but my Mom really knew how to do the tooth fairy thing right (and the other myths...she actually left a bit of fluff on my Easter basket and said the Easter bunny heard me coming and caught his tail as he ran away).

She wrote teeny tiny notes to me on tiny paper with a gilded pen (because I would write the Tooth Fairy letters..."Do you know Santa Claus?"), as well as leave a quarter (it was the 70s, after all).

I believed in the Tooth Fairy so completely that I was devastated when I found the note paper and pen in a drawer one year. Note to parents...hide your supplies! :o)

I intend to make the magic happen for my son as well. I like the dollar coin idea.

[Chris]

Catherine-you can ask at your local bank or credit union about the dollar coins. Also, from what I understand the post office vending machine gives them back. I wouldn't know, I am a debit card-no cash gal. :)

[Pippi]

We're still working on getting teeth in our house (and boy has that made for a rough 2 nights!) but if you're interested in tooth fairy traditions there's actually a book about tooth rituals from all over the world. I can't remember the name but I always see it at our 10,000 Villages store -- I'm sure a bit searching could bring it up on Amazon.

[Jill in Atlanta]

Must suggest a fabulous book! Throw Your Tooth on the Roof: Tooth Traditions from Around the World by Selby B. Beeler. Love it!

We have a tiny pine needle basket to hold the tooth, then the Tooth Fairy gives some form of $1- Coin or cash -sometimes requested specifically in a note by a precocious child.

Now my problem is, I've sometimes kept the teeth and I guess tossed away a few. I suggest that parents be consistent. (I couldn't convince my son to throw any on the roof!)

[hush]

When I was a child, my aunt gave me a stuffed Christmas ornament in the shape of a fairy that had a small a pocket with a felt tooth on it, which doubled as a Tooth Fairy pillow.

When my son is old enough to actually have teeth to lose someday, I'll have to dig that old ornament/pillow out of my parents' storage. In the mid-sized town we live in, my guess is a dollar coin would be an appropriate amount in exchange for a precious little toothie.

[Jill in Atlanta]

btw Moxie- some of those teeth hang on for weeks before finally dropping out. It depends on how much your child is willing to tug.

[hydrogeek]

Enu - Awesome idea with the book fairy!!! As soon as my daughter is old enough to understand that I'm stealing the idea! We are still acquiring teeth here, but I'm getting lots of good ideas from the comments, as usual.

[Joy]

When I was little we got 50 cent pieces (coins) from the Tooth Fairy. They were so special to us because they were so rare.
We've been giving my kids 2 dollar- bills, which they also think are very special and rare, and they have a little plastic tooth- shaped box that the dentist gave them to put the tooth in under their pillow.

I love the foreign coin and Book Fairy ideas- how great is that!

[Stephanie]

Each time I lost a tooth, we would leave it in a small glass of water on my dresser, because it was easier for the Tooth Fairy to find. The TF would replace the tooth with a quarter or 50 cent piece (as we got older). I was always excited to wake up and see how much I got :)

[Joy]

Also, I remember finding my mom's stash of our lost teeth in her lingerie drawer when I got older, hence discovering the reality behind the tooth fairy... I was wondering... what does everyone do with the lost teeth? Keep them? Throw them out?

I personally cannot bear to part with my daughter's itsy- bitsy pearly white first baby tooth, and plan to keep it forever. Is that gross?

[Michelle]

We don't have an elaborate ritual but the Tooth Fairy does visit and leaves $1. Luckily, my stepson sleeps like a rock so waking him up isn't a real worry. If he looses a tooth at school, the nurse gives all the kids a big plastic tooth thingy to put the lost tooth in. So he tried to wait to loose his teeth at school now and then brings home the tooth holder to put under his pillow.

[Tamar]

Oh, I didn't know the tooth fairy could leave money. Mine always left me a small toy. I think I'll probably do the same for my son - actually, it's too bad there's not a tooth-in fairy, too. We are doing a lot of hard work getting those teeth IN around here.

[Mamalooper]

Still about 3 years away from the girl losing any teeth but am implementing the Book Fairy idea TODAY! Brilliant idea...

[Lisa]

@MamaBird: That's so funny - at our house the tooth fairy is also male. He's also highly theoretical - T's not yet 3. But his big-kid friend/idol Riley recently lost a tooth and there's been a lot of discussion about it lately. Last week I came into the bathroom and found him wiggling a molar in an attempt to hurry things up a bit.

Oh - we're treating the TF much like Santa - "I've never seen him, but people say... (etc.) What do you think?"

[Julie]

I'm 37 and I think my mom still has most of our teeth still in her jewelry drawer. Nothing gross about keeping them, I think.

I was shocked as I was having this discussion with some of my 5th graders (jaded, though they still insist on the $$ under their pillows) to find out that some of them get TWENTY DOLLARS PER TOOTH!!!!! To me, that's outrageous. But it IS California, and they ARE 10 (as opposed to 5 or 6). The cost of living increases, I guess.

I think I would much prefer a cool coin - foreign or domestic - simply because the specialness of it matches the specialness of a baby tooth (is specialness a word? Maybe it's a George W. word. Sorry).

[Missy]

My husband collects coins, so our daughter gets some unusual coin along with a dollar she can spend.

I was devastated when my daughter started losing her teeth because I remembered how much we had all gone through to get those teeth - she was a horrible teether!

@Jill in Atlanta - thanks for the book recommendation. Sounds like something my daughter would love.

[Cloud]

We're also still in the tooth acquisition phase.

When I was growing up, we had the tooth fairy, but I don't remember the details. The ritual I do remember is the little birdie who would sometimes bring us one of those little paper cupcake wrappers with treats while we took a nap. The little birdie visited most often when we were sick. The best treats where chocolate chips. The little birdie didn't always come, so it was a special treat when he came. I don't remember how my Mom decided when he'd come and how she kept us from being completely obnoxious about it- I'll have to ask her.

[mo]

We aren't there yet - got a couple of years to go... I've been thinking of maybe leaving a fun new toothbrush in lieu of $$ since I'm trying to find more ways to take the emphasis off $ and lower expectations around that.

Love the Book Fairy idea - especially since I have a major book fetish and keep buying my boys books. So, it might be a fun way to "distribute" all those books. They'd probably get a kick out of it and one more way to make reading/books fun and special.

On a tangential note (sort of if you want to make a bit of a stretch), one of my boys (he's 3 1/2 yrs old) started chewing his finger nails. I'm really concerned why he would "need" to do that. I'm sure it is stress of some sort - is that a cry for help, an obvious sign I need to have him see a therapist? Seems so young to start that habit. The habit itself doesn't bother me (I used to do that and while I know it isn't the most sanitary of habits, I understand how it happens), it is more the why the habit has started. One data point is he has always been very oral - he sucks on his finger, ever toy (still to this day which drives me nuts!) is in his mouth at some point and quite frequently, etc. Any words of wisdom on this? Thanks.

[Katie B.]

LOVE the Book Fairy notion!!! Going to have to start that one asap. We need a few good baby books around here.

No teeth here yet (despite three months hard work on them), but I'll have to keep track of some of these ideas... and check on the going rate for teeth in our area in a few years' time.

[r+k+mama]

No tooth fairy around these parts yet, but the Nuk fairy is coming to pay a visit to my 3 year old this weekend, complete with glitter and feathers. Does this work?! Pray for me!

[hush]

@Joy - "What does everyone do with the lost teeth? Keep them? Throw them out?"

I was thinking I'd string them all together and make a necklace out of them. Kidding! But seriously that's what popped into my head... I'm just enough of a sap & pack-rat to keep them all. Maybe put the first tooth into the baby book, and put the rest in my junk drawer for my future children to find someday & get creeped out when I'm a crazy old lady. ;)

@mo - It's probably normal. If you think his nail-biting is due to stress, I'd encourage you to follow that instinct and see if a counselor is able to shed some light.

[Summer]

I'm sorry, I just can't get over the $5 thing. Lucky kids. I got a quarter! Inflation?

[Maria]

First off - you may get to be the tooth fairy yet - in my experience (I have a 9yr old and a 5yr old) it can take DAYS AND DAYS for what looks like a really loose tooth to actually fall out.

Second - well, I'll just tell you what my older sons teacher said when we went in one day with the thrilling news of a first lost tooth: My son was all excited about the random change the tooth fairy had left. and the teacher said "Wow! The tooth fairy remembered to come on the FIRST night that you put the tooth under your pillow?" I'll always love her for that, cause you just know that sooner or later, you are going to forget to do the tooth money switch on the first night.

[c]

On this subject, I would suggest the book "Bruce's Loose Tooth - Fun with a Moose and a Goose" by Eileen Landay and Arlene Klemushin. I loved this book growing up and now am sharing it with my son. There are various shenanigans about how to get rid of the tooth and a string that helps illustrate them that goes through a little hole in all of the pages.

[be bugs]

Our daughter (5) lost her first tooth a couple of weeks ago and the second one came out yesterday at school. Or as she told me "I pulled it out and it didn't even hurt!". So brave.

Anyway, I thought I was all clever with the sacajaweas, I had a stash ready. She has a tooth fairy pillow so that is where the tooth goes and the money gets left.

Here's my question: Do you keep the teeth?? I have so far, but seems kind of macabre...

[Jill]

Both of my kids have special pillows with a little pocket to put the tooth in for the tooth fairy. But my youngest freaked over the idea of someone wanting his tooth- a part of him! What in the world would she do with it? So I told him a grown-up secret: the tooth fairy just leaves money to be nice, and mom keeps the tooth. I had to present the evidence in the morning, and since then he has been fine about the whole idea.

[michelle]

A little off-topic- we don't have the tooth fairy yet. But the painting fairies come and paint our dining room.

The painting fairies ONLY come when our 4.5 year old is asleep (um...just like Santa)...which is why she can't help paint the walls.

I know, horrible. But DD totally buys it.

[Valerie]

No Tooth Fairy here yet, although the 5.5-year-old is desperately longing for her first loose tooth.

We are occasionally visited by the Underpants Gnomes, who bring fresh new packs of underpants to boys and girls who are outgrowing the ones they have. Big fun!

[Christiana]

Haven't reached the tooth fairy stage yet - still acquiring - but growing up I got a buck a tooth and all my friends were jealous. My best friend (now) recently informed me that the "going rate" for teeth is $20 for the first (are you KIDDING ME?) and $5 for subsequent. My husband refuses to even consider that, so we'll be doing the $1 version, i think. I like the idea of the foreign coin, though I don't know how to go about getting them - I guess I could have my sister bring back a bunch from her time in Sweden!

And I LOVE the Book Fairy. Gonna have to use that once she gets old enough to get the concept!!! Wish my husband would do it for me....

[obabe]

my oldest son lost his first tooth the day before he turned five. thank GOODNESS i was very pregnant at the time, or i may have lost my sh** completely: a tooth is the first step. then they start driving, get married, and i become the mother in law. (i have three boys)

>

i found a box with a lid from a gift- a david yurman box, actually. the tooth gets put in that box under his pillow. the tooth fairy leaves money (5 the first tooth, $1 in change every tooth after) with a note. the notes, piggy bank of money and empty box sit on top of his dresser, waiting for the next tooth.

i have the teeth (2) in a baggie in my husbands nightstand. they freak me out, but i couldnt throw them away either.

i think the underpant gnome needs to come vist my three year old, whos 2t/3t undies are getting way too small! thanks for the reminder.

[Sheryl]

@Joy - that's where my mom kept my teeth - and anything else she didn't want me to find. Of course, I did find them, but not until the teeth-losing phase was over. I was naive enough as a kid to believe the whole time. Of course, I also believed in Santa Claus until I was 10, so take that how you will.

[paola]

The tooth mousy gets around. We have him/her too here in Italy.

[hush]

@Valerie - I'm a little slap happy today, but I just need to thank you for mentioning the Underpants Gnomes! It reminds me of this one hilarious episode of "South Park." There's also a Tooth Fairy episode that cracks me up, where the kids figure out that baby teeth can be used in a moneymaking scheme. What can I say - I'm easily amused.

[White]

@ r+k+mama - the Dummy Fairy (English speak for pacifier!) finally came to visit when my daughter was (shock) 4 years old. We explained how the fairy would come when she was sleeping and take away her dummies, clean them up and give them to new born babies and that she could ask for a small gift in return. She wanted "jewels"! After a couple of last minute, panicky "no actually I've changed my mind mummy - can we do it tomorrow" (daddy fortunately knew the Dummy Fairy's phone number) the fairy came, took away the dummies and left a teeny card with a trail of fairy dust and a fancy, little box with a few special beads in their place. She was delighted the next morning and has never mentioned her dummy since - and she was seriously attached! She's 6 now and the box and beads still have pride of place in her bedroom.

Also, she just lost her first tooth. She left it under her pillow and got $1 from the Tooth Fairy. I have kept the tooth in a hide away place... along with one of those dummies. Strange but true!

[Julie]

Oh White, thank you! We just turned 3, and said that when you turn 3 pacis are ONLY for night time. Why did I associate this with a birthday??????? (insert forehead slap now). Now it's "But I don't WANT to be 3. I want to be 2. When can I be 2 again?" and one time he even sighed and said sadly, "It's just not easy". Poor fella. Lesson learned: not all bad things (like giving up a paci) should happen on your birthday. Sounds pretty obvious.

Anyways, we are going to let him have it to sleep for the forseeable future. I sucked my thumb until I was years old, so I understand the need to suck to soothe. But someday, I think the paci-fairy will be visiting our house too. I love the gift idea, plus all the fairy dust. I wish he would ask for jewels, but sadly, it will probably be another Th0mas train. Oh joy.

[Julie]

sorry....i originally had "grumble-grumble-cough-cough" years old. But it got cut out somehow.

[Lauren]

Love the book fairy idea! Can't wait until DD is old enough to grasp that concept. Maybe next year...

We're also still getting teeth here, but when I was growing up I had a heart-shaped pillow with a pocket where my tooth would go. I always hung the pillow on my headboard, so there was no fishing around under the pillow for a tiny tooth. I believe the tooth was usually replaced by a few quarters or a $1 bill. My mom always remembered my teeth.

Fast-forward to my younger brother, and she did *not* always remember. In fact, she often forgot. One morning he came out of his room so disappointed that the tooth fairy had not visited during the night. She stealthily reached into her purse and grabbed a bill and headed to his room, saying that maybe the tooth fairy's surprise had fallen on the floor. He followed her in there and was so excited to find that the tooth fairy had brought him $20. Not the bill my mom was hoping to grab, I assure you.

Another gross tooth story: My mom would often make a big bowl of popcorn that my brothers would eat from, and I would usually scoop a smaller bowl from it to take to my room. I was about 12 and already done losing/acquiring new teeth, so imagine my surprise when I find a tooth in my mouth. I was convinced that I had lost one of my permanent teeth and ran out to have my mom look in my mouth to see where it had come from. My brother had unknowingly lost a tooth, which fell in the bowl of popcorn and ended up in my bowl. Yuck!