Terrible Tuesday

So I've been trying to keep my nose to the grindstone and eyes on the prize and all that stuff, but the election today in the US is freaking me out.

I'm just so scared of what's going to happen. Scared of getting my hopes up and then having them dashed. Scared of what people will do unfettered, and scared of what kinds of sabotage and institutional corruption can happen. Scared of watching the returns and seeing the states fill in the color I don't want to see. Scared that the winners won't be gracious and that the losers won't be respectful.

When I was in college, I noticed that when I got really anxious about something, my hands and fingers would start to ache. (It's what I imagine RA or another auto-immune illness feels like.) My hands have been aching on and off for the last week.

I'm setting this to auto-post at 4 am EST, so it's probably going to be another 20 hours before we know. Unless there's some nightmarish repeat of 2000, in which case my hands will probably fall right off.

Small consolation:

* Ben & Jerry's locations are giving a free scoop from 5-8 pm to people who have voted.

* Starbucks will give you a free cup of coffee if you come in after you vote and tell them who you voted for.

* If you live in NYC or Seattle, you can get a free adult toy from Babeland if you show you voted.

* This is an excellent chance to teach your kids some geography, and about how the electoral college works.

* By tomorrow it should all be over.

Wah.

Please, no specifics. I think we all have the same fears, whether we're voting for Obama/Biden, McCain/Palin, or some other combo. Reports from voting sites would be fun, though.

Comments

[Beth]

Why, oh why, do I not live in Seattle or NY? That might be something free worth having!
I am happy about the Starbucks, though, but do you really have to tell them who you voted for???
Can't wait to watch the returns come in tonight, even though my guy has not a shot in hell of winning. I still love the process.

[Beth]

PS- Despite the reports that some people were waiting in 2-3 hour lines around here, I was able to vote in Baltimore City in less than 30 minutes. That was around 9:30 this morning.

[Mel]

@Hush: I'm not ambivelent by any stretch, I just don't get the cynicism. But hey, to each their own. Maybe I'll be proven wrong.

Either way. I'm out. Y'all have fun.

[MrsHaley]

@carmie -- I have heard said that SP IS bf-ing baby Trig, but I also know that DS babies have a poor sucking reflex, so she may be pumping due to that and for logistical reasons. Either way, if it's true, I would love to know how she manages.

@ikate -- I feel much the same way as the woman you met at your polling place. I'm excited to be able to tell my children that I played an (albeit small) part in history!

Planning to vote after naptime today. SO excited!!!!!

[Anne]

I'm in Hawaii and we're 5 hours behind the East Coast so in some ways the not knowing will be a lot less painful for us in that the polls for most of the swing states will be long closed before ours will and I'd die of shock if Hawaii did go for Obama. My husband and I voted early last week Thursday and it's been a huge relife to do so but I still cant get rid of the nagging sense of anticipation. (fingers drumming) When to the first results come in???????

[CaliBoo]

@ Carmie - Sending good thoughts your way. Your post is a reminder that with all of the hype around the election, what is truly important to most people kind of gets lost. And, yes, I've wondered the same thing about Gov. Palin.
I'm mostly anxious about the CA propositions, some have been really divisive and emotional. But people are standing in the rain to vote, so I feel better that at least voices will be heard this year!

[Mary]

My husband, 2yr old and I waited about a half hour this morning in Va. The volunteer snapped at me because I grabbed an "I voted" sticker to give my son- gasp- before I actually voted. She told me I had to wait to get the sticker until afterward. My mom also got yelled at this morning when she made a quick cell phone call immediately after exiting the voting machine. The official threatend to keep her from voting since she had used a cell phone. This was an empty threat since she had already voted though. I think we had a big rush of people voting early this morning and the volunteers are cranky.

[Julieta]

@Brooke: I have a feeling there are going to be a bunch of dissappointed toddlers today. Mine asked if he could go with me in the "boat" even after I pointed out the voting booths.

[Betsy]

@Mel, I think you probably meant to say you're not "indifferent by any stretch."

Check your definitions. It's a common mistake to use the word "ambivalent" when one wishes to describe a lack of feelings one way or the other towards issues or circumstances, though this usage is NOT correct. The proper word to use in this case would be "indifferent".

If you want a good way to remember the proper usage just recall that the prefix ambi means "both." So for future reference, if you are "ambivalent," it means you have both positive and negative feelings towards something.

[attiton]

I voted in CA this morning. Not a long line, but longer than I have ever seen before (I can usually just walk right on up to a booth).

I'm neither worried nor resigned. I've yet to be wrong in my predictions about how things are going to go in an election (even when I knowingly vote for the eventual loser). Just thrilled to have my say.

[meggiemoo]

Our line in Maryland today was about an hour's wait...far longer than I've ever seen. I too feel very jumpy today, and almost on the verge of tears. I kept rechecking my ballot screen to make sure I actually pressed the right button!

I won't be as diplomatic as some previous posters, though...I absolutely do think there is a clear right and wrong choice in this election. And I will be in tears tonight if we get more of the same.

[Becky]

I heard on NPR that it's actually illegal to give a reward in exchange for voting so Starbucks and Ben and Jerry's both changed their promos so you just have to ask for the item. You don't need to wear a sticker, tell if you voted, or who your voted for. But, go ahead and VOTE anyway!

[hush]

Hey there Mel, I didn't say I thought YOU felt ambivalent. How could I possibly know what you feel? What I actually said was: "I tend to think your comment nicely captures a lot of the ambivalent feelings many people have on this historic day." That would be a compliment, which I hope you'd accept.

When one describes such disparate positive & negative emotional states in one's comment (i.e. Negative: saddened at cynicism, wondering if ballot would be recycled, having distrust of govt. Positive: believing in honest intentions of people, not believing in any evil afoot, and doesn't see doom and gloom), it evokes this palpable, emotional sense of ambivalence that many seem to feel about today's election.

Again, I wasn't talking about your own feelings, as I don't even know you. Now please excuse me while I go wallow in my own cynical little fears already! ;)

[Cloud]

There was no line for me when I voted at 7:45 this morning. But I live in a neighborhood that is mostly retired people, who probably either voted by mail or are waiting until all of us working folk get out of the way. Hubby isn't a US citizen, so he took Pumpkin to day care like usual and I voted alone.

Like one of the PPs said, the big deal in CA this year is in the propositions. On my way to the freeway after voting, I saw two groups of people standing just a little bit apart, jumping up and down in the rain, holding their signs urging us to vote in opposite ways on the same proposition. There was no indication that the two groups were antagonizing each other, just each expressing their opinions. I got a little misty eyed.

And then I got to work and read on the online newspaper site that last night, a 50-something man punched his 70-something neighbors over a dispute about the same proposition. Bah.

[Sandra]

I was soooo excited to vote this morning. Got to the polls at 7:15 and got into a very long line with my 22-month-old in tow. This turned out to be a no good, very bad, horrible idea. He was placatable with milk and crackers for the first half hour. When there was room to run around for the next half hour, he was tolerable. By the time we made it into the crowded gym where the actual polling was going on, he was on the verge of going postal. By the time I signed in and picked up my ballot, he was wanting to lie down on the filthy floor because he was so fed up with waiting (this is 1.5 hours in). After 2 hours of waiting, and after I had filled out my paper ballot and waited in about the 4th line of the day, he was screaming, "Go down! Go down!" as I tried to wrangle his writhing body while not dropping my ballot and avoiding eye contact with everyone else in the place. When I was maybe 25 people from the front of the line (and he had been screaming nonstop for 10 minutes), a very nice woman from the front of the line told me that she would be happy to have me go ahead of her. I thanked her profusely and almost took off before I was sure my vote had been counted because I was ready to collapse. I swear I heard a collective sigh of relief when we finally got out of there. I broke down into tears when we finally got to the car because I was so frustrated, angry, and sad. Some of that was directed towards Boo, but a lot of it was towards me for being stupid enough to bring him with me. Not so proud of my parenting this morning.

In the end, I got to vote, and that's what counts. I just didn't realize it was going to be such a hard won vote for *that* reason.

[Bella]

Canadian here, just wanting to cheer you guys on today. I am crazy-excited about this election of yours. You have no idea how many of us on the outside are looking to tonight with real joy and hope. It's a refreshing perspective...

I've been tearing up all morning, hearing stories from the polling line-ups. I can't imagine the weepy wreck I'd be if I could actually cast a ballot.

[Caroline]

We've got one more in the vote/boat confusion pot. Pretty cute.

Tried to do the whole family vote this AM, but there was a rather serious line, which I'd NEVER seen here in SF before (our polling places seem to be every couple of blocks) and with DST the little one is ready for her nap at about 8:30, so we left the husband there and headed back home. The kids and I are going back mid afternoon.

I've been feeling so positive and optimistic, but then I got really nauseated with fear on the walk back home. Edgy, edgy day.

[Sam]

We got to go as a family today to vote, which I thought was really nice, even though my husband and I cancel out each other's vote. I held our 15 month old and let him press the button for my choice for President. I got very teary eyed, holding my son in my arms, hoping that history will be changed forever today.

[Cloud]

@Sandra- don't feel too bad. I think it is horrible that you had such a long line. I personally think we should have enough polling places and machines and what not that no one has to wait more than 30 minutes. What are people with children supposed to do? Some people will be able to stagger voting with a spouse or find someone to watch the kids. But some will have to bring the kids along, and sometimes that is going to go down the way it did for you.

I'm glad you hung in there and voted.

[Jutta]

I'm going to vote! I'm going to vote! And I will drive my neighbors to vote too if they want it.

[Charisse]

Have been on tenterhooks as well--making calls for my chosen candidate seemed to help the anxiety, as action often does. I dropped Mouse off before voting this morning (she will be hitting the polls with her preschool class as part of their day) and ended up waiting about 35 minutes to vote. Unusual in SF--we have very small precincts and lines are rare, but they actually ran out of ballots at about 9:15 and had to send for more. I'm assuming they already planned to send for more at some point in the day, it just happened earlier. We had 34(!) initiatives on the ballot counting state and city stuff--I have actually lived somewhere where the white pages were smaller than this cycle's voter guide.

I will now spend my workday illicitly checking blogs for exit poll data and trying to breathe.

[N.]

I went to vote a little after 10am. There was a line only to the door (it went to the parking lot during the primary). They usually have only two books of registered voters and 4 machines, but this time they had 4 books and as many machines as they could squeeze in that little room. And there were a lot of voting officials and poll-watchers this time. I wonder what they do if a voter in a wheelchair comes to vote? There was barely room to walk.

Anyway, there was no-one in line for people with last names in my section of the alphabet, so I didn't have to wait.

Last night I had lots of voting dreams - some anxious, like the one where they had no record of my registration even though I have voted EVERY election in the 10 years I've lived here. Some were about convincing undecided voters to vote for my candidates, and my favorite was that I brought my guitar and played for the long line of people, and they all sang along to Yellow Submarine and This Land is Your Land.

I have never been so excited/anxious/obsessed about an election before. I always choke up when voting, but this time it was all I could do to keep from crying. I loved that so many people in line looked excited to vote, too!

-another Virginian

[Shannon]

I brought 20-month-old to the touch-screen voting booth. Before I started, they said, "Now whatever you do, don't pull out the card until you're done voting." Guess what my little guy did? So it all printed up and said "VOID." I did the paper ballot, though.

Anybody from Illinois totally baffled by that constitutional convention flier they handed out at the polls?

[SamC]

Just wanted to tell you that in Britain we are all nervous too. They tell us here that it is a dead cert for one side - but they told us that last time and were wrong...
Fingers crossed.

[Scotti]

I live in Oregon where it's vote-by-mail all the time. In some ways it makes election day seem anti-climactic. But it makes thinking about your positions much easier and there are no lines and no work hassles to contend with. Folks even host ballot parties where they debate the issues (and nosh and drink too!).

My toddler is oblivious, but in the future we'll have to come up with some ways of engaging him. I too have fond memories of going into the voting booth with my mom.
We tried to prompt him to repeat the candidate were supporting but to no avail!

I went to yoga class this morning to try to calm my mind about today. Not that easy to do.

[hydrogeek]

I voted almost 2 weeks ago just CERTAIN that I would be homebound with a newborn by today. No such luck. I will say it was really nice to be able to walk right into a voting booth and be done in minutes! Now to convince myself to sleep tonight instead of staying up watching the election returns!!!

[White]

Delurking on this huge day of days to say...I was born and grew up in England, then lived in Australia for 5 years and now I'm here in America. So I've seen how the outside attitude to America has changed drastically in recent years. Not yet a citizen I'm unable to vote today but I still feel very anxious and excited and I have my fingers firmly crossed that some history will be made tonight! Good luck in those lines everyone.

[ada]

I'm just so excited that so many people are voting!!!

[Brooke]

Shannon-I think the Con con flier was due to the courts issuing a ruling after the ballots were printed. If you didn't vote on in, nothing was entered, but the ballot said if you didn't vote it would be tallied as a NO.

[Badger]

While I am certain you did not mean to be flippant about it, I feel as though I need to state one thing: rheumatoid arthritis hurts a lot more than anxiety related joint pains. Relatedly, not all autoimmune illness causes joint problems. Well, that was two things actually. Thanks for allowing me the space to get that off my chest.

[Beth]

Just another non-American chiming in to say your election is so interesting compared to most others and SO very important. I can't say I'm too nervous because I'm assuming the candidate I want is going to win.....but what if I'm wrong?

Anyway, the whole world is watching and waiting and I agree with the PP who said the outcome of this election will make a huge difference to many in the less developed world. BTW, I'm a Canadian who has spent most of my life in southern Africa and now lives in the UK.

Well done to all of you who got out to vote.

Moxie - I'm one of those people who read this site every single day but rarely comment. Thanks for this amazing service and for sharing your wisdom and bits of your life with us.

[caramama]

I love hearing from all the non-US citizens! What a great perspective you all are giving us. Thanks for chiming in.

[Mrs. Higrens]

Another from semi-rural VA here. I went in around 8 and was able to walk right up (thanks to my last name) and fill in my bubble ballot and out again in less than 10 minutes. My husband went around the time the polls open and had a 45 min. or so wait.

I'm really hoping that we don't see this all start up again for more than 2 years. When I think of the millions spent by candidates and potential candidates over the past couple of years that could have gone to support the various issues in our country it makes me mad. Sure, some people benefited, but not as many as the money could have helped had it been put to other use.

[Amy8]

Delurking to say "Every Vote Counts!!" and congratulations to everyone who has already cast theirs. According to an article on yah00, some statisticians suggest that individual voters in certain states could potentially decide the election. If you happen to live in NM, VA, NH, or CO, then it's remotely possible that YOU could actually be casting a deciding vote.

"In New Mexico, the odds are 1 in 6.1 million of a voter casting the ultimate deciding vote. If you're in New Mexico, you have a better chance of having your vote matter than winning the New York Lottery," said study co-author Aaron Edlin, a professor of economics and law at the University of California, Berkeley.

In Virginia, the odds are 1 in 7.9 million. New Hampshire residents have 1 in 8 million chance of being the key vote. In Colorado, the odds are 1 in 9.9 million. In those states, voters are more likely to decide the election than die by dog bite this year."

[Suzie]

Happy election day.

[Sandra]

@Cloud: Thanks for the reassurance. My polling place did seem particularly disorganized. One of my friends in another precinct was the 535th voter by 9:00 this morning, while I was the 304th by that same time. Makes me wonder how her location did things so efficiently.

Being trapped in a hot, crowded room with a screaming toddler and *no* escape - because I couldn't not vote! - was pretty much my definition of hell.

After I told my partner about my experience, he said that he hopes our candidate wins by one vote, just so I can feel good about sticking it out. Nevermind that it doesn't work that way :)

[bandwidow]

Greetings from Canada, we're gleefully watching and waiting for the result. Also looking forward to Colbert/Stewart's synopsis of the day/night.

Maybe if we would have gotten a free Tim Hortons, more Canadians would have voted? We just had a historical LOW turn out in our election earlier in November.

Enjoy your coffee. I hear Krispy Kreme was giving out donuts with colored sprinkles. Ice cream I didn't hear until Moxie mentioned! Don't worry, I celebrated your vote by having a cookie dough blizzard from Dairy Queen.

[Jill]

I've been teary all day, swinging from scared to hopeful. I am in a new state this year, and we voted by coloring in a cirle with a pencil! Haven't we figured out something better than that?

I think that is what worries me... will the results be accurate? And will people who have been intimidated, or told stories of their party voting on a different day, get out and vote?

[attiton]

@bandwidow: That's my favorite kind of Blizzard too!! In my family, DQ ice cream was sort of a food group.

[Lisa]

Shandra, many thanks for the Whitman. It made me cry.

Well, just about everything related to this election is making me cry these last few days. T. made a poster supporting our candidate (I wrote the words he dictated and he wielded the glue stick and crayons), and insisted we hang it in the front window. ("I want him to come to our house and see it!") We're going to go vote as a family once I pick him up from preschool in a few minutes.

I am so anxious, and - so uncharacteristic for me - afraid to get too excited. So I cry instead. :->

[Moxie]

Badger, I'm sorry to offend you. I have two good friends with RA, so I know my joint pain is nothing in comparison with theirs, even when I can't hold a pencil from the nervous ache. I was referring to the site and quality of the pain, not the quantity, if that makes sense.

[Moxie]

Oh, and Mel, I'm still scarred from the 2000 elections. That's what my cynicism stems from. It was the red pill for me.

[Cathy]

@Sandra - we all have times like that, and everyone in that room used to be a wiggly, impatient toddler.

@Jill - our vote is by scan-tron style ballots too. Was a big surprise to me when I moved here from another county. It seemed so bizarre at first, but now the whole state (FL) is using it - has a paper trail, reliable technology and no hanging chads.

[Cloud]

@Jill- I actually like the optical scan ballots we use here. It is a bit like taking a standardized test, BUT- counting is automated but there is still a paper trail in case it is needed. I prefer this to the electronic machines we had briefly.

[Dawn]

My husband went first thing this morning and waited for about an hour. My daughter announced to her Kindermusik class this morning that her daddy voted for ______, which was pretty humorous, because we're definitely in the political minority here.

Normally, I'd take the kids, but because of the potential wait (@Sandra - we've all been there one time or another), I went after dropping off the older one at preschool and left the younger with my mom. I only waited about 15 minutes, as luck would have it, but I was voter #570 in my precinct. There have been times I've gone five minutes before the polls closed and been voter #105, so the turnout here in suburban Philadelphia is pretty good, I think. I teared up a little on the way out; this election is pretty momentous.

I'm very anxious about the returns. My husband says this is better than the Superbowl, but he's more confident about the results than I am.

[Jo-Ann]

We were on a huge line that took over an hour to get through this morning. Husband waited on the line while I had the kids at a playground outside (my voting place is at a school). My husband called me from inside when it was getting close to our turn. My kids lost it after the wait. I pulled my 3 year old out of the school gym as he screamed "Why can't I boat" at the top of his lungs as I tried to explain it to him.

Wish my state had early voting!

[Sophie,Inzaburbs]

Like other foreigners who have commented, we are nervous. Can you tell I have already started drinking? (Hey! it is 5.38pm here!)

We are actually resident here in the US. It is our home. But as Green Card holders, are not allowed to vote. I know our two votes wouldn't make a difference, but we still feel pretty helpless - because the outcome affects us too.

[Lyn]

I cannot believe how long the line ups are to vote in the States (I live in Canada). It seems like you have to give up 3 hours of your day to vote. You deserve a free Starbucks after that.

[Jane]

Woke up at 5 this morning and hauled myself and both kids to the synagogue on the corner by 6. No line, no wait. The kids sat patiently (although they were super-pissed by the no-sticker thing) and we were done within 10 minutes.

Cried in the car on the way to work, as my fave radio station was playing a song with the lyrics "today may be the day that the world will change forever." And then again on the way home, when they played "people have the power."

Funny thing? I teach in a school where the kids have to wear uniforms. I had lunch duty today, and I had to tell So Many kids to take of their Obama buttons, as not being part of the uniform. I think what I said was "put it on *under* your vest until 3:30!" I can tell you that if our 8th grade was allowed to vote, Obama would win the White House, and Illinois would be calling a Constitutional Convention.

We'll see. I am on tenterhooks. I can't quite describe the temptation to leave the kids in bed and run down to Grant Park. They'll be fine in the apartment alone, right?

Moxie, I get the intense, pervasive pain in my arms, but only when I'm incredibly sad.

[meandmrb]

I cast my absentee vote some weeks ago. After the last election, I received a letter stating that my vote hadn't been counted because I hadn't signed the outer envelope, even though I distinctly remember doing so, even which pen I did it with...so this time, we took pictures before sending it off. I don't expect a repeat, but we'll see.

As far as voter turnout goes, I know a woman who's been an expat for 25 years and hasn't bothered to vote within that time who, this year, registered to vote, her son registered to vote, and they cast their absentee ballots. They weren't as much inspired by a particular presidential candidate as they were appalled by one of the vice presidential options.

It's wonderful to see so many people involving their children in the process. One thing I've always been asked about, regardless of where I've lived abroad, is 'why don't Americans vote?'. It's good to see a new generation being exposed to the process and learning by example.

The vote/boat thing is hilarious and it makes me even more eager for Mr B to start talking!