Terrible Tuesday

So I've been trying to keep my nose to the grindstone and eyes on the prize and all that stuff, but the election today in the US is freaking me out.

I'm just so scared of what's going to happen. Scared of getting my hopes up and then having them dashed. Scared of what people will do unfettered, and scared of what kinds of sabotage and institutional corruption can happen. Scared of watching the returns and seeing the states fill in the color I don't want to see. Scared that the winners won't be gracious and that the losers won't be respectful.

When I was in college, I noticed that when I got really anxious about something, my hands and fingers would start to ache. (It's what I imagine RA or another auto-immune illness feels like.) My hands have been aching on and off for the last week.

I'm setting this to auto-post at 4 am EST, so it's probably going to be another 20 hours before we know. Unless there's some nightmarish repeat of 2000, in which case my hands will probably fall right off.

Small consolation:

* Ben & Jerry's locations are giving a free scoop from 5-8 pm to people who have voted.

* Starbucks will give you a free cup of coffee if you come in after you vote and tell them who you voted for.

* If you live in NYC or Seattle, you can get a free adult toy from Babeland if you show you voted.

* This is an excellent chance to teach your kids some geography, and about how the electoral college works.

* By tomorrow it should all be over.

Wah.

Please, no specifics. I think we all have the same fears, whether we're voting for Obama/Biden, McCain/Palin, or some other combo. Reports from voting sites would be fun, though.

Comments

[Claudia]

Well, it's Tuesday now, and I will be on tenterhooks for the next 18 or so hours. Good thing this election is so popular; the Danish networks will be broadcasting results all night. Plus I can get the American angle on CNN.

[hedra]

My best friend and I are on totally opposite ends of the political spectrum. It means we tend not to talk during election season. So, er, we haven't seen each other much for about two years.

Will be glad when it is over, and we can get down to the daily business of pushing the elected to do our will (collectively) and trying to make what they bungle work better, and trying to make what they get right for me not make others miserable, and ... the usual business. Emailing and calling, repeat, repeat. I'm in a small state, so the representatives are pretty responsive. One of my sisters affects tax law (she comments on the laws as they are developed, to clarify how it would be implemented, and they then tweak accordingly), and I'm glad she's on our watch (I had no idea that they actually sent this stuff out to experts for review - she's not the only one who does it, but she's one of the few). And I trust her judgment, ethics, and intellect (she's WAY smarter than I am, and she puts her money solidly where her mouth is, a huge proportion of it goes to charitable work that was carefully assessed for efficacy). So, anyway, once things are settled, it is back to working the system, I guess.

I'm hoping the results are a strong position in one direction or another, at least. The whole line-splitting thing sucks rocks for the entire population. IMHO, anyway.

[Kate]

We've taken the kids with us to vote every time we go--this year the four year old is finally old enough to understand. She knows we're picking the next president...it helps that they've been going over the basics in PreK.

We're dressing them in red white and blue, going to vote at 7, taking pictures, and eating donuts for breakfast. (I'm up now to go get the donuts!) Fingers crossed there isn't a huge line at the polls--carpool beckons at 8:00.

I am also unaccountably nervous. There just seems to be so much at stake today, and so much rancor that the winners/losers will have to call water under the bridge in January. It's as if they've all forgotten that once you say something mean you can't take it back....

[Kate]

PS If you live in NYC, how do you prove that you voted?

[paola]

Guess what, me and dh are equally anxious and we are not even American (nor do we live in the States). There is a lot at stake here. For everyone, everywhere.

[jennyi]

I had tingling hands all day yesterday & could not figure out why,. I almost went to the dr, but thought i'd wait to see if it went away after a day or so. Now I'm wondering if it's just the anxiety, which has put my mind at ease. Thanks Moxie.

Have been awake since 3 a.m. after fitfully sleeping and dreaming of voting machines for a few hours.

I am totally serious.

As for the starbucks thing - i think the FEC told them it was a violation to offer anything of value in exchange for voting, so they are just offering a free cup of coffee today. that's what i heard on the radio, which i have had on since 3. (see above)

[&BabyMakes75]

We've been talking to our 3.5 yr old about a treat of going out to breakfast and then voting as a family. We're excited to see results etc. and we're going to let son stay up later tonight to see the red blue map. (Turned out all woke at my "alone" time of 5am so instead of going out I made a diner-style breakfast treat at home of oven "fries," omlettes, and toast with jam. Yum and saved us $20. We missed the female wait staff with the deep smoker's voice, though so I had to improvise with, "Everything okay over here, honey?" to my son. (Of course he responded yes because there were extra poopies but that's just the phase we're in now...)
We're off to vote soon, yay!

[Shalini]

We did absentee ballots since we're out here in Australia, and I am so glad we didn't have the nightmare with the lines it looks like is going on back home. While the polls are closing in the US (it will be mid-morning here in Australia for us, so we'll be following it all day here) and we're planning on having an "election-day lunch" and just watching the results. I really hope the candidate I vote for wins. Otherwise I might just cry for a long time.

[Ella]

Dear Moxie,

I find it hard to be unspecific. I work in an international NGO that is alleviating unimaginable suffering worldwide. While the blame for world poverty, violent conflicts and discrimination can be shared among many nations, some nations - yours - are in a better position to get things right than many others, simply due to the power you have.

This election matters more to the world than American elections have for quite some time - so I pray that all of your obviously far above average intelligent readers will get out there and vote for a better world.

Honestly, my friends, you've got the power. Imagine the good things the US could do if it chose to.

[Angie Six]

The comment about your hands gave me a big lightbulb moment here. After the birth of my first daughter I noticed that when I get anxious or stressed about something, my hands and the skin around my nose and mouth get puffy and itchy. I noticed it coming on last night and couldn't, for the life of me, figure out what was going on.

Duh.

I'm a knot of anxiety and excitement today. I'm ready for the nastiness to be over. Just this past week a friend and I got into a tiff because she kept sending me political e-mails/forwards after I respectfully asked her to take me off her list. I'm ready to find out who my DH is voting for. We have always cancelled out each other's votes, but this year he's been undecided up until last week. He doesn't want to share his choice until after we've both voted, and I'm hoping it means he's defected to my side.

Good luck to everyone who will be at the polls with kids. May the line move quickly and may the children be cheery.

[Kate]

Reporting back from my outer (NYC) borough: lots of people. Lots. We were in and out in 15 mintues (only 5-6 people ahead of us), but that was only by the grace of our particular election district (determined by street address). The ED next to us had at least 50 people on line. There won't be any "out the door" because it's in a huge middle school cafeteria, but....

I've been voting in NYC since September 2000 and I've never, ever seen it like this.

[Sarah]

I did early voting this year...with a 2 month old and a 4 year old (the 7 year old is in school) and my dad helping out at the polls so no babysitter backup, it seemed silly not to. But I feel pouty today--no "I Voted" sticker for the early voters in my little town. (No lines either and the clerk was very sweet and helpful). I hope that envelope gets opened and counted.

I am eagerly awaiting tonight. An end! A good end, please? I feel bad that I am mostly looking forward to watching Stewart and Colbert and not aiming for CNN. If it gets too newsworthy, I will switch to not-fake news.

And on the hands, I have a history of ezcema and it comes out on 2 of my fingers on my left hand when I am stressed / sick / tired.

[Jen H.]

Not American, so not able to vote, but still very excited and hopeful. And fearful that hopes will get dashed or that there will be a repeat of the 2000 debacle. I don't think there's ever been an election so watched by the international community. I have a meeting tonight that will keep me out of the house and away from the TV likely until it's all over, dammit.

[sueinithaca]

Just voted with my 4 year old. She's gone with me for every election since her birth. It's great to see her starting to understand what voting is about, and the importance of it all. We have a campaign sign in our yard, and one of her buddies has a campaign sign for the opposing party's candidate. She asked me the other day "Mommy, why do we have that sign in our yard?" I explained that the sign says that I like this person (my husband is not a US citizen, so it's just me who counts on these things) and that I'm going to vote for him. Then she said "Well, why does A. have a sign with a different name on it in her yard?" So I told her that it's because her mommy and daddy like that person and are going to vote for him. I was so impressed by her when she started asking about that.

For anyone with young kids, I strongly recommend the book "Grace for President" - today and for the next few weeks. It's a really wonderful book that explains the electoral college (and makes me cry every time I read it).

My friend (the one with the opposing candidate's sign in her yard) also has a bumper sticker. Our town leans pretty strongly in one direction - and she's going against the grain. We were talking on the phone yesterday while she sat in her car outside her doctor's office (after an appt.) All of a sudden, her DOCTOR knocked on the window. When she rolled it down he said, "Sarah, you have a ------ sticker on your car! WTF are you thinking?!" It was totally inappropraite, but as someone who agrees with the doctor, I did think it was pretty funny.

[Brooke]

We voted early, and I'm really glad we did. Somehow the toddler has conflated "vote" with "boat," so she keeps begging to go vote.

[Shandra]

Come, I will make the continent indissoluble,
I will make the most splendid race the sun ever shone upon,
I will make divine magnetic lands,
With the love of comrades,
With the life-long love of comrades.

I will plant companionship thick as trees along all the rivers of America,
and along the shores of the great lakes, and all over the prairies,
I will make inseparable cities with their arms about each other's necks,
By the love of comrades,
By the manly love of comrades.

For you these from me, O Democracy, to serve you ma femme!
For you, for you I am trilling these songs.

- Walt Whitman

[Maria]

I voted by absentee ballot a couple weeks ago. I wish I could vote today and be part of the feeling of participation (not to mention get the Ben & Jerry's!).

When I get anxious my fingers get numb and tingly. You're the only person I've ever heard of who's said anything similar – thanks again for helping me feel less like a freak!

[Catherine]

I voted early, last week, because if I'd voted today, I'd have had to bring my 13.5-month-old with me and he's too wiggly at this point to wait in a long line. But now I'm regretting not bringing him with me today, so that I could tell him later that he was there when I voted. Oh well, he was with me when I voted last year, and he'll be with me again. He was with me last weekend when we stood on a street corner with a bunch of other folks, waving signs for our candidate (and I have the crappy cell-phone camera pictures for posterity)!

I do think it's so important to take kids with you when you vote. My mom always took us along, and it really impressed upon us the importance of what she was doing. (And also really de-mystified the process.) One of the most inexplicable things my sociopathic ex-coworker ever said was, "oh, I don't vote, because I have small child."

[madelyn]

My stomach has been in knots for days. I thought it was the Halloween candy and pumpkin seeds, but no...it persisted. It FINALLY dawned on me last night that, oh my gosh I am anxious about this election!! In my dream last night I converted several undecided voters. That was nice. Anyway, off to vote in 10 minutes. Will post later about how the lines looked here in Virginia.

[Mom2Boys]

Stood in line to vote on Saturday. Lines are even longer this morning at all the polling places I drove by. Did get a sticker though and am wearing it today. I'm very, very excited.

...still wish i could have voted for Hillary.

[hush]

Moxie, you've described my emotional state to a "T." I can't bring myself to watch any tv or look at any pol stuff on the internets today. Too nerve-wracking...

I'm a deeply cynical person about election stuff. If you witness anything out of the ordinary at your polling place today, please DOCUMENT IT. Put it on You Tube. Don't allow anyone to turn you away. Vote early & often y'all!!!!

[Kate]

Ok, commenting again because I forgot a funny story from my polling place...a bunch of enterprising kids (looked to be maybe 5th-6th grades) were selling cupcakes, bags of homemade trail mix, etc. at the entrance. Captive audience, I suppose. I hope they make a lot of money!

There seems to be a buzz...this morning at 6:30 people just seemed to be up and moving in a way that they usually aren't at that hour. Long line at Dunkin' Donuts, big crowds at the bus stops.

Something tells me I am not going to get a lot accomplished today. Too much obsessing to be done.

[ikate]

It took about an hour for me to vote today at my NE Ohio polling place. Lots of older people, lots of first-time voters. I was told the line was about twice as long a half hour before I got there.

One story: There was an eldery African-American woman with a walker in front of me in line. I found a chair for her to sit in as we waited and we chatted. I asked why she didn't vote absentee and she straightend up and said proudly "Honey, I've waited my entire life to cast this vote. There was no way I wasn't going be here in person and see my ballot go into that slot. I want to tell my grandkids and great-grandkids that I was here today."

[Elizabeth]

I live in Madison, WI and waited 2.5 hours to vote early on Sunday. I went during the Packer game, since that's usually a good time to run errands, but everyone else had the same idea. Maybe if the Pack had done better...

My best friend lives in NYC (Manhattan) and said she and her co-workers have had huge trouble. Super long lines, broken machines in Brooklyn, and the poll workers are handing out paper ballots just in case.

That's some scary stuff.

[Maria]

Oh yeah, and I was up until 3am - even with a little unaccustomed chemical sleep-help. Election jitters, I'm convinced.

[enu]

Taking toddlers to vote is great, but a cautionary tale - my first born, age... either 6 months or 18 months (prolly the latter, but she was destructobaby, so maybe not) pulled the lever (which finalizes the vot and opens the curtain) before I was done. Still and all. This year..... she voted!!!!! (Her Li'l Sis is miffed that she is 5 1/2 months too young this time around.)

[Mel]

I am really truly saddened by the cynicism here. If we are really at a point in this country where no one believe that their vote will be counted as it should. Don't get me wrong, I did wonder when I turned in my absentee ballot this morning (which is the way to go, IMHO) if it was going to be recycled.. And I do have a healthy distrust of government (especially those people with the "I" for incumbent after their names, because *WHY* would you want to put yourself through the campaign process) Why do we have little faith that the Mainstream Media will find the real true irregularities/problems? (And the real problems, not human error like unregistered voters casting ballots or not filling in your ballot properly or not having your ID)

I do believe in the true, honest intentions of people. I don't believe there is an evil movement afoot to destroy the very fiber of this country.

And you guys will probably jump all over me, and that's fine. I just don't see the doom and gloom that *everyone* around me seems to see.

But I voted third party because I don't like either of the 2 'main' party candidates.

[pnuts mama]

holy crap, moxie et.al.- i am so friggin psyched for this election- last night my husband said it's been like waiting for christmas- of course we are a mixed bag of excitement and anxiety (my god, i could list four thousand ways in which i think this could go wrong) but overall, i am just so excited to be on the cusp of what i hope is a huge sea change for our country.

i read an incredible piece by andrew sullivan on the atlantic yesterday as to whom he endorsed and why, and it just strengthened my resolve to do everything i can to encourage everyone i know to take the responsibility of our nation's future in their own hands and vote today!

i cried like a baby when i cast my vote in the primaries for the history i was making- my pnut helped me cast that vote- and she and the bean will be helping my husband and i make more history tonight!! whee!! who knew that voting could be such a freakin rush??

[Maria]

Another story - last election my daughter was about 3.5 and just making the transition from diapers to underwear. She told EVERYONE at the polling place - election workers, voters in line, EVERYONE - that she was wearing UNDERWEAR and not a diaper. It was amusing for a while and then I really started wishing the line was moving faster!

[Cathy]

My 5 year old likes to feed the ballot into the optical scanner gizzy. I think she started doing this at the primary, she was too scared at earlier elections.

We went just after 7 and brought the girls. Yesterday the 5 year old got to vote on what kind of playground equipment they would like at school (swings won it sounds like). I think today they're having a mock presidential election.

There was kind of a long line when we went, but it moved pretty quickly. And the baby is a baby of the people, waving at the electorate, safe in her dad's arms. I was glad that I brought my "cheat sheet" with me so that I could take the baby quickly and DH could vote - El wanted to color.

The parking lot was the only potentially contentious place - lots of people with the same idea of getting in to vote a 7. Once people were parked, they were ready to be orderly. By the time we left, the lines and parking spots were looking OK.

[the milliner]

@ikate: Wow. What a great story. Brought a few tears to my eyes.

[rudyinparis]

Thanks, Shandra, for the Whitman piece.

I don't dare hope. I'm just trying to be calm in my heart and not feel fear.

[wealhtheow]

Voted about an hour ago with the kiddo. Very quick, and my district in Virginia offered the option of paper ballots or the machine. I didn't want to take a chance in case of a recount, so I went with paper--and noticed lots of people doing the same. I'm not ashamed to say I really started choking up as I cast my ballot--I'm so proud and happy to be voting in such a historic election.

[cat]

Ditto to Shandra. Whitman brought tears to my eyes, thanks for sharing.

Only a 45 minute wait in my town in Virginia this morning, and I can't help it- it was so exciting. So many people talking and sharing, watching volunteers carry an old woman up the steps when her cane wasn't good enough, all the families out to vote; it was beautiful. I came out to find a band setting up to play for people standing in line. Talked to my sister in Richmond afterward. She said it was a spiritual experience, and so great to see people out there for TWO HOURS in the RAIN, sharing umbrellas and singing. I have never experienced any voting like today. May this many people always be voting!

[Catherine]

Oh hey, I forgot the best story from when I voted early. There was a family ahead of me in line: mom, dad, 2yo girl, and a tiny baby, no more than 6 weeks old. They were doing fine all through the line (it took maybe 20 mins to get up to where the election workers gave you your ballot). Then at one point I looked up, and there's mom taking the 2yo over to where you fill out the ballots, there's dad alone with his ballot...and back over there's the election worker, bouncing the baby on her shoulder (she had that "experienced grandmother" bounce) while mom and dad fill out their ballots.

I often get teary when I'm waiting in line to vote, but this just about did me in.

[toomuchstrong]

Much nail- biting going on in our household too. We are SO hopeful though....

[hush]

@Mel - I'm not going to jump all over you. Though to be perfectly honest, I read your comment as a critique of the spirit of comments like mine, where I admitted my own cynicism about election stuff, and mentioned the very real possibility of voter disenfranchisement.

You're entitled to your own vaunted sunnier perspective. I tend to think your comment nicely captures a lot of the ambivalent feelings many people have on this historic day.

[toomuchstrong]

Oh and I also wanted to add that where I grew up, we didn't have the opportunity to vote (Eastern Block country) so even though I see there is much corruption in our government and there is much room for improvement, I proudly vote every single time. After living through a repressive government, I could not ever become totally jaded even if I may be disappointed in the judgement of my fellow citizens (8 years of Bush????).

[Brooke]

BTW: you can get the Starbucks, Ben and Jerry's, and Krispy Kreme without the 'I voted' stickers.

[Mom2Boys]

For those of you in the South, I believe you can also get a free chicken sandwich from some chick-fil-a's and Krispy Kreme is giving out a free donut with red, white and blue sprinkles.

[amy]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets emotional/teary eyed on voting day. I have never understood why I do, so I figured I was alone on that.

Today, I was a little lonely in line at the poll because I did not take my 4 year old with me to vote. She's gone with me for every voting opportunity in her lifetime, but this year the elementary school where we vote has had a nasty stomach virus circulating, and we have a newborn at home, so I made the hard choice not to take her or the baby. I mean, a cup of coffee from Starbucks is a nice treat in exchange for showing my "I Voted" sticker, but a stomach virus? No, thanks.

[Helena]

My polling place in upper Manhattan was quiet (at 8:30am). My district line had less than 10 people, although another district's line had what looked like 20+. Still, not too bad.

Dailykos has a post today summarizing folks' comments about why they don't mind waiting. It's hard for me to imagine waiting 2+ hours to vote.

[carmie]

I have been dreading this day for a number of personal reasons - pivotal date in our pending foreclosure, father-in-law having open-heart surgery, and my grandma being taken off life support. Blech. The election almost seems like the final ugly float to this whole life-sucks parade. Funny, though, the first thing I thought of this morning upon waking was, "I wonder if Obama even slept last night?" and then I felt sorry for all the candidates who must be living on adrenaline and caffeine right now.

Has anyone else wondered if Sarah Palin is breastfeeding her baby, and if so, how she manages it?

[Jac]

Another non-American here - but still on tenterhooks all the same. It does feel a bit like the whole world is on a precipice, doesn't it? The campaign has been fascinating. We had our Canadian election a few weeks ago and it was so boring. And resulted in absolutely nothing, no change. Our leaders debate was on the same night as the US VP debate, and I think it was safe to say that most people here were watching the VP debate. I truly believe that this is an election that will define the age.

[Mom In France]

I'm happy to say that I'm feeling the energy from across the Atlantic! I've had several calls from people today standing in line to vote and they say that people are really excited and there is a good spirit at the polls.

[Julie]

Got to the polling place at 7 AM sharp. The line was out the door and around the playground. People were in great spirits, drinking coffee and chatting with their neighbors. I absolutely LOVE election day. I used to always vote absentee because by nature I am a Very Lazy Person, but honestly, there is something that always makes me tear up when I actually go out and VOTE. I am so proud to be an American. Yes, much is f-ed up about our country right now, but to see people come out in droves and exercise their right to vote, to have their voice heard......it's truly humbling.

[r+k+mama]

I started getting the jitters last night and was swinging between nerves and excitement. When I finally fell asleep I felt like my whole body was a giant knot. Yuk. I'm generally a cynical person but this morning the excitement edged out the nervousness and I'm thinking positive. I'm thinking change. I'm thinking no matter how this turns out I can be proud of my vote.
The nerves did take over when I realized I would have to vote with an 11 month old strapped to my chest (during nap time no less) but aside from the puddle of drool I had to wipe up at my polling station, things went well!
PS- I'm in Minnesota and at my polling place (which was large) there were no lines which I thought was strange...

[Nutmeg]

Yesterday I too was saying that it felt like Christmas eve. And while I definitely think one candidate will be much better for the country, the world and the view of our country IN the world, I honestly DO believe both candidates are decent people with good intentions, and frankly I don't believe that of the current situation. So, while I have high hopes for what might happen... no matter WHAT happens it will be a good thing.

The only BAD thing is if it isn't definitive and it goes into a dispute. Several weeks ago I saw Recount on HBO and it really brought me back to just how AWFUL that was.

I'm generally a giant pessimist... but today I'm feeling really, really hopeful.

I also am feeling very strongly that I want people to vote. With absolutely no regard for whom they are voting, I'm just feeling really strongly about the process and it's importance.

My polling place had a steady flow of people, but no lines, 1 hour into polls being open and I was the 62nd person to vote in my ward, which isn't too bad, considering the size of my town.

[caramama]

Hubby and I happily waited in the line for 45 minutes in Maryland. It's so great to see such a high voter turn out.

I love that history will be made no matter which of the candidates (Rep and Dem) win. This is absolutely monumental.

However, I don't see how I'm possibly going to stay up late to see the results because I'm so exhausted (darn sleep regression)! But how can I not???

DC area people - If you want to get together on Nov. 8, go to my blog and vote for where you want to meet. Feel free to leave a comment suggesting other venues or dates!

[michaela]

I waltzed in and out of my local polls in about 3 minutes... and that includes filling out a survey (with written comments) about funding for the proposed high school renovations. A neighbor said he waited for about half an hour first thing in the morning. But the 10:45 EDT voters were few and far between.

It's all over but the waiting... and, I hope, no need for legions of lawyers.