Baby carriers and back pain

Baby carriers do not need to hurt your back. If you're wearing them correctly, you'll feel the weight of the baby, but it shouldn't be so painful that you need to take pain meds. If you are feeling that much pain, you can Google the name of the carrier you have and the word "instructions" and someone somewhere will have posted photos of the correct way to wear that carrier. Or else try a different kind of carrier, because there is no perfect one, and maybe there's a better one for your body.

In general, the closer to you and higher up you can put your baby, the less pain and movement you'll have. If you're using a Bjorn or Bjorn-style carrier (which I don't actually recommend because I think other styles are far less painful, notably the Ergo if you like a constructed carrier or a wrap carrier if you like less construction), make sure the cross in the back crosses below your shoulder blades. It should be where your bra strap goes. Here's a really old post on different kinds of carriers.

Also, wearing your baby should be something you do because you want to. Not because it's "in fashion" or because Dr. Sears tells you to. Do it because babies who are worn tend to cry less, or because you like having your little one snuggled against you, or because your baby won't stop !@#$%-ing screaming if you put her down, or because your best friend walked all the baby weight off by wearing her baby, or because you can't deal with your stroller, or whatever. But let it be because you want to. Not because the lady at the grocery store or the women on the message board or the misogynist ad-writers at Motrin tell you you have to and then make fun of you for it.

You are the parent. You get to decide.

Also, seriously--Lucky Magazine? I read you because I want to get away from the "moms should do this and that" crap that bombards me every effing day in this country. All I want from you is to know whether ruching is in this fall and how to wear suede booties with a sweater dress and why shea butter is the miracle that's going to solve all my hair problems. I do not want misogynistic mommy drive-by ads in your pages. If you want to take ads from the hacks at Motrin (who apparently have never heard of a focus group), force them to give you ads about pain and *actual* fashion. They could have done a heck of an ad about stilettos and other painful shoes, but they chose the easy, inaccurate, bottom-feeding low-hanging fruit. Don't participate in the proliferation of mom-guilt on the hardworking women of the world. We get enough of it every day from people wearing Christmas sweaters. We want your magazine to be a safe space.

I think I'm going out to buy a big bottle of Advil tomorrow.

(Hey--if you're feeling carpal tunnel-type pain from lifting or carrying a baby or toddler, before you despair or get cortizone shots or dope yourself up on a pain reliver that starts with M that I'll never buy again, try homeopathy. Go to a health food store and plunk down $6 for a tube of pellets of Rhus Toxicodendron. Get 30x if they have them--if not get whatever dose they have. Take one under your tongue three times a day. If it's the proper remedy for your kind of pain, you should feel less inflammation and pain within three to four days. Keep taking until the pain is gone. If it isn't doing anything after four days, then it's the wrong remedy for you, so you can stop. Safe for breastfeeding, and no interactions with anything else! I had debilitating carpal tunnel from lifting my horse of a firstborn, and his pediatrician, who is also a homeopath, prescribed Rhus toxicodendron for me, and it worked like a charm. So I'm passing it on to you, the pain sufferers of the internet.)

Comments

[Sky]

Just a quick comment on general rather than localised aches and pains post partum. For six months after the birth of my daughter, every joint ached, back, wrists, hips, knees, elbows - everywhere. I finally went to the doctor after putting up with it, and discovered that my iron levels were very low. With the way they measure iron here, a normal count is between 20 and 200 and I was 7! It took a couple of months of heavy duty iron tablets to put it right and the crushing tiredness lifted as well as the joint aches. So, do check your iron levels if nothing else seems to be working.

We used a wrap sling at first but it always took 2 of us to fix it safely. We then progressed to an Ergo, which my husband loves and I've invested in a third sling for when baba no: 2 arrives.

[paola]

I used a Bjorn with both my kids and never found it comfortable, although my daughter loved being carried around in it, but there was absolultely no way I was going to try another brand if it meant having to spend the money. I don't know about there in the States, but I paid €60 for mine, and that was a huge expense for us 4 years ago. Still is a lot of $$$ for us now. I would have prefered to invest my money somewhere else, rather than spend it on finding the perfect carrier.

[Moxie]

Meagan, I completely apologize for my tone. Maura is absolutely right that it was way too harsh. I certainly respect you for continuing to do something that hurts you because you feel it's the right thing for your baby. But I feel very very strongly that women should not, NOT ever be made to feel like they need to "tough something out" because it's good for the baby. Someone should always be helping them to find an alternative that causes less pain, or helping them to deal with the pain, or coming up with some alternative.

There is pain--lots of pain--involved in parenting. But that doesn't mean that we just accept it and don't advocate for ourselves and each other. And the first step to that is knowing that pain (real pain that makes you cry) is a sign there's something off about the process.

[Cloud]

@Doesn't believe in magic- even if the reason that the homeopathic remedies work is the placebo effect (i.e., their actual ingredients do not matter), replacing them with M&Ms will not work as well. For the placebo effect to work, the person taking the medicine has to really believe that they are getting an effective medicine, and I doubt anyone here would be able to convince themselves that this was true of M&Ms or gummy bears.

Now, I'm not saying that homeopathy only works due to the placebo effect. I don't know, and haven't ever taken the time to look at the literature on it. I was interested to learn recently that the head of preclinical sciences at my current job takes homeopathic remedies, and he spends his days looking at data about whether or not the (non-homeopathic) remedies we are developing work.

I figure that if it works, it doesn't really matter to the person taking the medicine whether it works because of the active ingredients or the placebo effect.

As for wrist pain in general- I have a computer related repetitive strain injury, and was nervous that would be aggravated by holding the baby. It wasn't, I suspect because of the general loosening effect of pregnancy hormones. I also had an arsenal of stretches/exercises I could do whenever I felt a twinge. Anyone having problems could probably find these online, or you could ask your doctor about them. Just don't ignore the pain- these sorts of injuries can become chronic if ignored (this is what happened to me).

Finally, about baby wearing- Pumpkin never cared much for any carrier that had her facing in, even when she was tiny. She wanted to see what was going on, I guess. I had a ring sling that she would consent to if she could face out, and she loooooved the Baby Bjorn. The Baby Bjorn was also the only thing Hubby would wear her in, but he wore it often.

[Meagan Francis]

I'm not talking about chronic, every-day pain...at least not for me. More like, every now and then when I wore my ginormous floppy newborns or ginormous toddlers on my chest for longer than usual, I'd be sore enough to consider popping a pill. I think what I'm getting at is a) the idea that motherhood can be painful could have been an effective marketing tool if done correctly and b)it's simply not true to insist that if something is done "right" it'll necessarily be pain-free and it gets annoying to hear it over and over again, spoken as if the gospel truth. I think being honest about it is more helpful: sure, once in a while motherhood (and all the stuff that goes with it) is painful! BUT, we do (fill in the blank) anyway because it's worth it to us (for whatever reason). As for doing what works for me--well yes, that's exactly what I do.

My SIL has size J breasts (yes, you read that right--J!!!) and her version of "normal" is being in some amount of upper-back pain most of the time. Yet she wears her baby a lot (and yes, that exacerbates the pain) because she likes the convenience, ease and closeness. She isn't a martyr (and neither am I though I know my pain is probably a lot less than hers)...she just recognizes there's a tradeoff and it's worth it to her.

I think it's too bad Motrin flubbed the tone so much with this ad, but as somebody who enjoys and supports babywearing I wouldn't have any problem with the suggestion that sometimes carrying a baby around all day (whether it's in your arms, on your back or on your front) can make a gal want to reach for a bottle of one type or another.

[jbq+h]

I would agree that I suffer no pain the majority of the time that I wear my daughter in the Ergo. On a typical trip--say yesterday when I wore her around a museum for three hours--I had to switch from hip to hip and then to my front. When it was over, any strain, pain, or tiredness was lifted when I lifted her out to put her in the car. And I wasn't in much discomfort anyway for the first two and a half hours. If I had been, I would have handed her off to her dad or put her in a stroller. I'm definitely no martyr for pain.

However, though I am well aware of my limitations, I sometimes forget them. For instance, I contributed to a major tension headache because I wore her on my hip when I had a little headache. My shoulders were sore then, but it didn't occur to me not to wear her--I just wanted to pick up the mail. Oops. I've also learned not to push my older daughter in a stroller while wearing the younger. I'm just not physically strong enough to do it for more than a few feet without hurting myself.

Frankly, I think babywearing (when the baby enjoys it) is AWESOME. Convenient and freeing. But it's only fleeting, as I know that she'll eventually get too heavy. And if I figure out she's too heavy too late in the game--please bring me some Advil (and remind me to do some crunches!).

So I guess I'm saying that I understand why the Motrin makers made the ad. But I think they made a really crappy, patronizing, and demoralizing ad. There's no need to make fun of us for wearing our babies.

[Meagan Francis]

Moxie, I think I must be a wimp--I consider the painkillers wayyy before I get to the 'crying' stage (though yeah, I know that was implied in the ad).

Thanks for clarifying and the apology, btw.

[Foster]

Cobblestone ~ It sounds like you have tendinitis. I have it and the pain sounds just like what you described. Go see an orthopedic doctor. Tendinitis is common for moms, either from the shifting fluid levels of pregnancy, or from daily baby care.

I am wondering if Rhus Toxicodendron will work for tendinitis. The shot and brace did not get rid of mine and the next step is a slice and dice.

[Caliboo]

The Motrin ad - it's so bad it reminds me of the SNL spoof of the Seasonale pill (hold on to your fing hat!) http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/play.shtml?mea= 221774
On the subject of carriers, anyone got a recommendation for a less-heatstroke-inducing sling - baby thinks ring sling is evil, but Moby and Bjorn are good, and she can fling herself out of the Hotsling, so I think I'm looking at an Ergo or Mei Tai. But it is 90 degrees here on Nov 17 and I'm sick of being hot.

[Jenn]

Motrin did do an ad about high heels too. It said something about wanting to be a "hot mom" and liking high heels so she takes motrin.

[Foster]

Meagan, I, too, have J size breasts, so after about 2.5 seconds in a carrier, my shoulders are done. ESPECIALLY when I wear the Ergo in the back carry. It is just way too much on my poor shoulders. I still do it when Im out and it's convenient, but only if the space is too small for a stroller. I do not have this problem if I am not wearing a bra, though, so at least at home I can sling with ease, haha.

[Jennifer]

I'm late to the party, but I just want to say that I viewed the Motrin ad and it really really irked me. It's such a deflating feeling to have the curtain drop and see what mainstream western society really thinks of moms, babies, parenting. Among other things, this ad is sending a message that babies are just so darn inconvenient. Oh sheesh, I guess I shouldn't have had one, I got foxed there too. Stupid me. ;)

Anyway this comes from a committed and enthusiastic babywearer -- babywearing has been a wonderful tool for me and also a great joy. I love having my baby (5 months) close and at peace; it just feels right for us. I wasn't born with the knowledge and skills of babywearing, I had to acquire them and there's a wonderful community out there to help -- and it's actually become fun too. I agree that discomfort can truly be minimized by finding the techniques and carriers that work best for you. (Check out thebabywearer.com). I have more carriers than I "need" -- from wraps and slings to asian-inspired carriers to structured carriers like the Ergo -- and that's because it's a really joyous thing for me and I know it won't last forever so I want to enjoy every minute. And -- in terms of body ergonomics, a huge bonus in my opinion is that I haven't taken the car seat out of the car since my son was 3 weeks old.

[anon]

Totally a tangent, but is there a reason no one uses the word "homeopathic" accurately anymore? It isn't just you guys at all, so nothing personal, this is just a place where I can finally vent about it.

ho·me·op·a·thy
: a system of medical practice that treats a disease especially by the administration of minute doses of a remedy that would in healthy persons produce symptoms similar to those of the disease

You know, homeo = same. It's like an immunization.

I think you mean "naturopathy," and I am using this site to start my crusade! Lead by example, please! :)

p.s. That ad is atrocious!

[Moxie]

Anon, Rhus toxicodendron is a homeopathic remedy. I get Boiron brand. http://www.boiron.com/en/htm/01_homeo_aujourdhui/connaitre_homeo.htm

My pediatrician is fully trained in homeopathy. He is not a naturopath.

I agree that it's annoying when people talk about herbals etc. as "homeopathic," but I do specifically mean homeopathic here.

Foster, my symptoms were a hot, inflamed creaky kind of pain and my range of motion was decreasing daily. It definitely felt like it was in the tendons, not the muscles. Rhus tox is cheap and it wouldn't hurt to try it.

Jenn, why did the high heels ad have anything to do with being a mom? That just irks me.

[CJ]

I managed to see 3 of those ads driving into town last Thursday and WOW did I hate them immediately. Glad I wasn't the only one and even gladder to hear maybe the company took complaints seriously.

And yay for carriers, but only if your baby wants to be worn, too, right? I might love baby wearing (i do!), and my baby, hey, might have a different idea of comfy (he does!).

[Cloud]

@Foster- before surgery for your tendinitis, see if you can try physical therapy. When my injury flares up, one set of symptoms is a lot like tendinitis. I've always been able to get things back under control with physical therapy. Yoga helps me maintain.

You have to find a good physical therapist, though. I had a not so good one during one of my bouts, and it didn't help at all. I switched to a different therapist, and was better within weeks.

I don't think the surgeries have very high success rates, so I am in absolutely no hurry to try that.

Several people have recommended acupuncture to me, too. I haven't tried it mostly because the PT is covered by worker's comp (this was a work-related injury) and acupuncture isn't.

[anon-homeopathy-hater]

Moxie, should have looked it up before I ranted. Then again, if it gets one person to use it correctly, I'm glad I did.

I'd say I'm boycotting Motrin but who am I kidding? I always buy generic anyway.

[Michelle]

Wow. I took two Motrin this morning not because babywearing was causing me pain but because I did a Flow class yesterday and I think I may have overdone it at the gym on Saturday.

I wore both my kids - the first was a colicky nightmare and the only way to get him to sleep was to wear him in the bjorn and bounce on an exercise ball like a madwoman. Never had any back pain from that - just the emotional pain of mild PPD and a baby that you can't soothe.

Like a couple of other posters - I was totally unprepared for how many aches and pains I had in the early months. I swear when I came home from the hospital with #1 I felt like I had been run over by a truck. And then the upper back soreness and arm soreness from nursing set in...I lived on Motrin (who knows if it was okay for me while BF, my OB told me to take it and I did - it was the only thing that seemed to help and I was too dumb to question him - then).

With baby #2 I had a home birth and you know what - NO PAIN. None. Not one tiny ache after labor was over. No tears, no stitches - nada. We used homeopathy during labor (black cohosh to help cx pick up - and boy did they!) and people can say what they will about natural remedies - my pain free and PPD-free recovery from my daughter's birth is proof enough for me to stick with nature as much as possible.

With baby #2 I got a Hotsling and I loved that thing! I have never been very adept at the wraps - we got a ring sling with #1 and trying to figure that thing out while said baby was screaming in the crib and husband was laughing hysterically just didn't work for me. Hotsling was easy to throw in my purse/diaper bag (which is the size of an 18 wheeler) and use at the store, events, etc. I never had any pain from that either.

I do think it is funny and somewhat sad how whenever one of these stories come up we moms, who are trying to raise our children to be non-judgmental, respectful, kind individuals lash out at each other like high school girls in a bathroom. Ouch.

[White]

Well, I'm happy to hear I'm not the only one around here who has whopper babies - 9lbs 10 and then 10lbs 4 - and both girls.

I was shocked in the early weeks (actually months!) after the birth of my first baby at how many other aches and pains I had that weren't directly from giving birth - my knees could barely make it down the stairs they were so stiff.

I've found homeopathic remedies to be fabulous. I've used them in the past, under the recommendations of a homeopath, for migraines and anxiety and both times it has helped. Plus the Hylands teething tablets have been great for my 16 month old, 16 toothed youngest. Also, I just want to put in a shout out for acupuncture - that even helped me to get on a plane without having to be sedated to the point of delirium!

I could never get the hang (excuse the pun) of baby carriers myself. I wanted to, especially with the second baby, oh to have both hands free, but never managed to get beyond the backache of the Bjorn or the shoulder and neck pain with a sling. However they both happily dangled on daddy's front at weekends in the early months.

[anon]

Moxie, I'm so glad you apologized to Meagan. I was beginning to wonder about you with the long absence, and then with today's string of comments of a tone that is honestly so very unlike the Moxie we've come to know and love. If you need another break from Ask Moxie, please take one. You don't have to be Superwoman!

[Kathy]

I also got DeQuervain's postpartum. Between pregnancy hormones loosening ligaments and suddenly doing a lifting up motion with your wrist countless times a day, there's a reason why it's called "Mother's Wrist."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DeQuervain%27s_syndrome

I did months of physical therapy and wearing custom splints and was still in agony. One quick shot of cortisone and I was a new woman! If have another kid and get it again, I'll give the naturopathic medicine a try, but I won't hesitate to go get the cortisone if that or physical therapy doesn't work right away. There's a risk to getting multiple injections, but just one dose did it for me, and I was practically incapacitated by the time I got the shot. I'm telling you, ladies, that cortisone stuff can be a miraculous lifesaving godsend.

[Eva]

Don't people get more pain from carrying those heavy car seats around? The popularity of those things totally baffles me.

[Perfectly Disgraceful]

My older kid was tiny at birth and then ballooned into one of those extra-chubby babies causing a lot of pain in my non-dominant wrist. My doc prescribed a splint that immobilized my thumb, which worked beautifully, especially if I wore the splint at night. My younger kid wasn't quite as chubby and I had no wrist pain with her.

I used a ring sling with the older kid and a Hotsling with the younger, I liked both, but did get some mild shoulder pain. My sister recently had twins after months of bed rest and found that her atrophied muscles couldn't handle even a five-pounder in a sling. But she recovered enough in a month or so that she now uses the sling all the time.

[Doesn't Believe in Magic]

wait...is everyone here a believer in homeopathy? I am surprised. I was thinking there might be a fellow skeptic around? no? ah well.

Ok folks just promise you won't let gangrene get you, like this extremist in UK!

http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/Healer-dies-after-failing-to.4699316.jp

[wavybrains]

I think people often run into pain when babywearing when they try to make one carrier work for all ages/body types/situations. Trying to use a Moby wrap for a 25 lb baby is a recipe for pain, but it's an awesome solution for new babies. Hotslings are great, especially for small busted mamas with petite babies, but large busted women might need a different solution. As my daughter has gotten older, I've had to refine and change out my stash for things that work better with older & heavier babies and things that put up with constant up/down/up/down. I really recommend trying thebabywear.com's FSOT board, and trying a variety of carriers to see what works for you and your body type and your baby. Also the carriers which have worked best for me are WAHM carriers which are easier to find and learn about on thebabywearer--not everyone is going to love the Ergo & Hotsling & Moby.

[Foster]

I will try the Rhus Toxicodendron stuff. I received both the cortisone shot and the thumb-imobilizing custom brace. I was supposed to wear the brace for three weeks. Although my wrist felt much better after the three weeks, it is not cured, and has gotten slowly but steadily worse since then. That is my journey so far :) I will ask the dr about PT when I eventually call them again.

Eva, I dont know how people lug those seats around, either. Actually, I do know: it MUST be for convenience. DH and I decided that we did not want to carry dd around in a bucket seat. The commitment to using only a convertible seat sometimes does leave something to be desired, esp when you have to make a dozen stops w/ the car. Taking her in and out and in and out is a pita, but it has been worth it. Plus, it saved us money as we only had to buy one car seat :D

[Michelle G]

I have to say, now that I have finally seen the ad, I thought it was totally funny. It reminded me of one or two la-la fashionista Moms in our neighborhood.

I get how the ad could be viewed as demeaning moms and making baby-wearers sound like idiots. But I have a live-and-let-laugh attitude about these things. Frankly, I think there is PLENTY of room for humor when it comes to motherhood. And, seriously, even though I loved taking my kids around in the Bijorn, and then a sling, I never called it "baby wearing." Even that term seems funny to me...as if our kids are shirts or something.

[Cloud]

@Foster- since I know absolutely nothing about what caused your injury so you can ignore this comment as not relevant to you. But, for what is worth...

My experience with a repetitive strain injury has been that physical therapy and drugs can help get me back to OK, and yoga can help me maintain health, but the most important thing by far was to figure out what motion was causing the problem and find a way to stop making that motion. At first this really sucked, because the problematic motion was related to using a computer. I work on a computer all day every day and was seriously freaked out at the thought of a forced career change. Then I broke the motion down, and realized that for me, the problem comes in pronating (turning my hand palm down). So I bought a fancy keyboard and mouse that let me use the computer without pronating. Now I can maintain reasonable health with just once/week yoga.

I first injured myself in grad school (~10 years ago) and didn't take it seriously. Now I have a chronic injury. I will never be "normal" again, but I can be OK. When things are bad, I am in enough pain to interfere with sleep, I can't hold heavy items in my right hand, and I drop things a lot because my fine motor control is degraded. My OK state is having a little bit of pain if I work long hours and having my right arm feel tight all the time. It is like I always need to stretch, and no amount of stretching is enough.

Anyway, maybe you can analyze the motion that is causing you problems and see if you can find a way to avoid it. A good physical therapist can help you figure things out, but my experience has been that only I could really figure it out, because only I knew exactly what caused the pain.

[Charisse]

@foster and Moxie, I had a nasty RSI tendinitis a few years ago and was successfully treated with ultrasound cortisone therapy and PT. Since it was work related I was able to self-refer to an actual hand therapy practice, which I recommend if you can do it.

For me, tendon pain feels warm, strong, and does not have the give and take of muscle pain--it just sits there and hurts, constantly. Luckily I have flare-ups only rarely. Now if I would just stop straining my left pec picking up my 45-pound preschooler, that would be great!

[Betty M]

Doesn't believe in magic - sceptic here but have learnt that homeopathy is one of "those" subjects where it is best not to go. I recommend scienceblogs.com for anyone looking at a proper analysis of the evidence or rather complete lack of.

We dont have Motrin or their patronising ads here for which I am grateful.

[ada]

I learned to NEVER vaccum while wearing my son in the Bjorn. I almost died from the back pain.

I think a lot of my discomfort with the Bjorn was due to how weak my core muscles are. Seriously, I am a big ol weakling. The Ergo carrier was a big improvement! We loved it.

[Marie]

@caliboo - I've worn and made a few different types of baby carriers. I've seen ring slings made from mesh (advertised as useful for swimming and showering with baby). I bet it would be possible to make a mei tai carrier with some really strong mesh in lieu of the decorative front panel. If you can sew, or know someone who can, perhaps they could make one for you? I've used this free pattern (with slight modifications) and have been very happy with it: http://thosemartins.com/bmt/index.htm

Slightly off-topic regarding size J breasts - I have size "I" so I have some experience here. Spending $80+ for a great bra has made a world of difference for my back aches. I wish I could buy those cute $14 bras in Target, but my breasts would be at my knees and my back and shoulders would be killing me!

I've carried both of my children in ring slings, wraps, Bjorn, and mei tai. By the end of the day I might have an aching back, but as a PP said, repositioning helped considerably. Now my youngest is nearly three and refuses the carriers. :( I loved carrying my children.

[Marie]

@caliboo - Oops - forgot to mention this, but if you decide to sew your own mei tai feel free to email me if you have questions: mamarobinwhite at yahoo dot com

[hush]

@ Eva & Foster - Yes, the infant car seat-lugging around is for convenience - for folks who need to be able to drive places with their babes, hopefully without unnecessarily waking them. We used the Graco Snugride infant carseat early on whenever we had to drive anywhere, and more often than not DS would fall asleep in it when he was under 5 months old. So being able to just take the carseat out of the car without disturbing the sleeping baby was a godsend. It snapped into a stroller base, shopping cart, or upside-down restaurant high chair, without waking the babe if we were lucky. Bonus! There were times DS would be asleep in the carseat, and we would actually be able to go out to eat as a family. (Oh those brief, fleeting moments of portability.) If only we had been within walking distance of restaurants & stores, we could have used a sling to port DS around everywhere. I'm envious of all of you urban dwellers who don't absolutely need a car/taxi to get anywhere & can really use those slings & carriers to full advantage.

[Cloud]

The other great thing about the snap out carseat- it meant that we only had one for two cars (each car had a base, which was lots less expensive than another seat). Hubby would just leave the carseat at day care when he dropped Pumpkin off and I would pick it up with her. It sucked when we had to move up to a front facing car seat and had to buy two.

But my god was that carseat heavy towards the end. I think ours weighed 12 lbs. Pumpkin was about 25 lbs when she got too tall to use it anymore. Amazingly, the thing was rated for use with a baby up to 35 lbs. I can't imagine.

[Danielle]

Spam Alert!
I swear I don't work for these folks, but since we are on the topic there's an incredible deal on the Beco Carrier at mamabargains dot com right now. $24.50 for the Obi Carrier. (The deals change often, in case you go there and it's gone.)

I am also a HUGE proponent of using "homeopathic" correctly, so I was excited to see that post, even if it didn't apply here.

[suzanna]

I agree about the infant car seats. What a pain! We got them for our twins because we didn't know any better. In retrospect it would have been better to go with the convertible seats. I can count on one hand the number of times babies were taken from the car asleep in the seat and stayed asleep for more than 10 minutes post car. To me that's the main attraction of those seats. If they were awake when we arrived at our destination they were always taken out of the seat and carried in sling/bjorn/ergo/arms. We even bought a babytrend double stroller that the seats clip onto, and used it maybe 3 times. Mind you, we don't do much driving, but if I did it over I'd get a portable single stroller and use that + a carrier for those few times I needed to port both boys in the car alone.

re tendonitis and friends, I had it or something like it in my non-dominant hand from picking up and putting down babies, and was in a lot of pain. What helped, as Cloud mentioned, was to really focus on what I was doing that was causing the pain. For me, holding the babies in my upper arms, which was a little awkward, and trying not to rotate my wrist, cleared it up within days.

[a-dogg]

Wow. I just feel like posting to express my immense gratitude to the babywearing group that shows up every month at my local library. My husband and I went there when our daughter was 2 weeks old (and she was 9 lb) and they had lots of different slings for us to try, showed us how to wear them, even loaned us two to take home so we could figure out what we liked best before purchasing. They were a great resource, now I feel like I should give something back to the group, somehow.

We ended up with a mei tai when she was little (even though an old lady at church told us she thought it would hurt the baby's spine) so we could balance her weight on both shoulders AND keep her little legs in. Later she graduated to the Ergo which we all love- though (confession time) I refuse to wear her on my back outside of the house or our yard- the fat bulge and boobs out to the moon with the way the straps are configured when she's on my back are just too ridiculous. I feel like a milk monster as it is.

Also just wanted to say: all the books (including LLL!) that said "If breastfeeding hurts, you're doing it wrong" made me want to strangle somebody during the first 3 weeks (they don't seem to allow for the time it takes to get used to it) but really helped me realize something was wrong, and I had thrush, later on at 12 months.

That SNL link made me cry real tears, I laughed soooo hard.

[toomuchstrong]

These comments are so helpful because I endured incredible pain with my first child pretty much all over my body, but mostly in my back. First of all, pushing for four hours while holding my legs back made me feel exactly like a truck had run over me (like Michelle said), but then I got a great massage that helped ease the pain. However, the next pain issue was related to breastfeeding because I had to hunch my shoulders down to my baby while she was curled around me on a Boppy or on Mybreastfriend. That odd breastfeed-hunch was one thing I could never figure out so I endured the neck stiffness for the 11 months of breastfeeding.
Then, I had lots of shoulder and back pain from constantly having to wear my baby. I had a sling when she was very small which worked nicely for her and it was easy to get her in and out of, but it hurt my shoulders. The Moby was a great choice for the back pain, but it only worked for so long since after a while kids are more interested in the world than in staring at your chest. Finally we ended up with the Ergo which was wonderful for a while too.
I don't remember ever taking any painkillers for the pain, but I do remember getting massages here and there. If you can afford it, I would recommend that option over taking painkillers, but I know it's not realistic for everyone.
With baby #2 nearly on our "doorstep" I am actually looking forward to exchanging my pregnant pains for the "taking-care-of another-human-being-round-the-clock-pains." I'm probably nuts.

[Alex]

@Meagan, I'm so totally with you. Actually I think Jennifer may have said it best, "discomfort can truly be minimized." Right. It can. But comfort achieved? Not so much. In fairness, I'm looking for a carrier that (a) renders my baby weightless, (b) snaps or slips on and off me in an instant, (c) allows me to pop baby in and out in an instant (d) holds my baby close (in a variety of positions) but is fully ventilated for those hot summer days, and (e) costs under $50 ... for pete's sake, it's just some fabric, padding, and snaps. On a positive note, I'm quite indifferent to whether it (f) is attractive or not. However ideally it would (g) last from infanthood through toddlerhood, since there's little I seek more avidly to avoid than setting foot in a retail establishment.

You laugh, but what I want to see is the sport of extreme babywearing. I think it would result in much better products being available for the rest of us. Forget vacuuming; I want something you can safely rappel in (while the baby nurses). I'll still rely on generics, though, to ease the pain from the rappelling (disclaimer ... no, I'm not *really* advocating rappelling with your baby strapped to you, but wouldn't it be nice if someone would put the thought into coming up with a carrier safe enough, comfortable enough, and easy enough to use that you could?).

[the milliner]

@Margot: Thanks so much for your input and info. I'm going to make an appointment with an osteopath tomorrow.

@ everyone who says their DH will only wear the bjorn: Too funny as my DH will only wear the ring sling as he finds the bjorn too yuppie looking ;). I however, love it for the simplicity of putting the little guy in.

[Caroline]

My Ergo was in the wash a couple of weeks ago, and I had to put the 8 monther in the Bjorn (which I DO, for the record, prefer for tiny newborns) and my back was wrecked in 30 minutes or so. I'm in love with the Ergo. Slings just never worked for me all that well.

Although I agree that the Ergo straps can make for some unsightly bulges. This morning I was completely ready to leave when I realized that my shirt and pants combo didn't leave quite enough overlap for Ergo safety, and ran upstairs for a longer top.

Ooh, and the fact that the Ergo has a POCKET in it is genius. Baby, wallet and phone are all safe, especially at the playground when you're tending to the elder.

[Elle]

White you are not alone, we breed them big also. I had a 9lb 6 (girl) and then...cross your legs... an 11lb 1 (boy)...keep them crossed... I did deliver naturally, no time for pain relief...

I could not live without my chiro, my bjorn active or the exercise ball for either of them! Michelle, imagine my delight when Poppy decided to bounce bub a little too close to the corner of the coffee table and burst our ball- THE WORST NIGHT OF MY LIFE!!

Am considering an osteopath for my 8mo boy for digestive system related sleep issues, as much as I LOVE my chiro I am not sure how I feel about it on little ones...anyone???

[Kirsten]

My doctor is a DO and I love him. We did not set out to find one, it just happened.

Post pregnancy aches...for me it ended up being fibromyalgia, yuck! Pregnancy is one time I feel great but I can't have that many kids or be pregnant forever.

@Caliboo, I have one BabyHawk and another on order. Expensive but so worth it. My son has been in it since he was 1.5 days old.

Busty...I wear a G/H so I know how it goes. I like how the Moby hides my bust more than other carriers.

DH will wear a carrier, just not my current BH because it is orange. He's got more fashion issues than many women I know *lol*

@Elle, I have had one CST done on my son and hope to have another in a week. It has eased his gas issues immensely.

[Ari]

I absolutely love my ergo, but I really enjoy wearing my baby in front -- facing in towards me -- even at 8 1/2 months. Is this wrong? I know it says that front carry is best until 6 months but I really like being able to watch him and see his reactions to things. It's funny, Ive really been worried about this recently, I'm hoping one of you lovely people can enlighten me. Thanks.

[Cloud]

@Kirsten, if pregnancy helps the fibromyalgia, what does hormone therapy do? I'd think your doc could prescribe a mix of hormones to mimic pregnancy. Or are the side effects too bad?

@Ari, I'm no expert, but I'd say if you and your baby like that configuration, why not keeping using it?

[Foster]

The very sad thing about where I live is that I am *just* barely inside the city limits, so I live in the city but still need a car to go everywhere. And my areas major suburban shopping zone is piece built upon piece over many many years, so you need to drive to Target, then back in the car to drive to the book store, then back in the car to drive to Best Buy, then back in the car to drive to toysaurus, then back in the car to drive to the mall, ARGH!!!! Literally, you get in the car to drive for one minute to the next shopping alcove. No, you cannot walk, no sidewalks and too dangerous w/ a baby. Horrible. This means that even when dd falls asleep, we unstrap her and carry her. Six months in, and this has yet to be a problem. I would still rather wake her than carry a bucket seat. We also only needed one seat as dh drives a 2-door car, HAHA. We are about to get a new car, but already bought a second car seat a while ago for foster kids, so it's all good. I consider starting w/ a convertible to be a better deal anyway, even if you have to buy two, because if you start w/ an infant seat, you still need to buy a convertible later. This means you will buy one infant seat, one extra car base, and two convertibles, whereas I only had to buy two convertibles. That saves a lot of money. On a side note, even though EVERYONE does it, you are not supposed to put infant car seats on shopping carts or high chairs. It is a falling risk & the reason Chicco makes theirs to not fit.

About the bras, trust me, I have an excellent nursing bra that fits me perfectly. I bought it from a specialty store and everything. The unavoidable problem is that the booby weight has to be supported somehow, and that task falls largely on the shoulders. My boobs are *heavy* so there is not much I can do until Im done having children ;D Does anyone else with large breasts see the unfairness of bra pricing? My bras wear out pretty quickly and I usually buy new ones every six months. I have friends w/ lil boobies who have had the same bras for at least 10 years. Someone please tell me, then, why the lil bras are $20 a piece, and mine are $60!

[kedakeda]

I have always had back pain to a greater or lesser extent, and sometimes it means I have painkillers with my vitimins at breakfast time. That's the way life is for me. When my son was little it was worse than it's ever been and my acupuncturist and my osteopath/chiroprac both said that they could help a bit but basically the work of being with my baby was such that I was going to have to just deal. I wore my son (because he screamed when I wasn't wearing him) in a pouch sling and the Bjorn (the 'Active' which is *heaps* better than the old ones for most backs).

I'm now 8 weeks pregnant and I'm hurting really badly again. I figure that's just the way things are going to be for me. It's very tiring and it makes me pretty cranky!

[Cassie]

@ Ari: as far as I remember, I carried my little boy in our Ergo on the front, facing me, until he was over a year old. And even after we went to mostly back carries, I still carried him on the front occasionally (for short distances) if he seemed upset or uncomfortable for some reason. I'm like you -- I liked to be able to see him and talk to him about what we were seeing/doing -- and he seems to like it too. He's a skinnymalink though (he's nearly 2 and about 23 pounds, so was much lighter than that a year ago), so that made it easier on my back to carry on with the front carry, but I'd say if you aren't in any discomfort, and you and your baby like the front and inward-facing carry, then go for it. Oh, and the Ergo website has this to say:

"The ERGObaby carrier is designed in compliance with the recommendations of Dr. Evelin Kirkilionis, and SHOULD NEVER BE WORN WITH THE BABY FACING OUT. According to Kirkilionis:"Infants in outward-facing orientations can’t turn away from surrounding stimuli. They can't turn inward toward a parent's body if stimuli become overwhelming. In this position the baby cannot make eye contact with his or her parent to evaluate facial expressions, social cues, and so forth to make assessment of the situation. Only choose a baby carrier that allows your child to face you ... never out. There are too many events going on around your baby. A baby has no way to exclude himself from the environment by turning his head away and towards you. Healthy sleep is difficult for a baby who is facing outward. I am not a supporter of the outward facing method of carrying a child.""

That's a little harsh on those parents/babies who do actually like an outward-facing carry, but it gives you good reasons why you and your baby might enjoy the face-to-face carry. I know I miss it now that my little boy is too heavy to carry for long periods on the front.

[Melis]

We got a different style of Bjorn and never had pain until the little man wasn't so little anymore. We got the one that had lumbar support (it has more of a full back on it-not the little "x" thing) and it made a HUGE difference. Had I known about wraps and slings, I might have tried them but only really had access to Bjorns and wannabe Bjorns (which we tried first due to cost but was soooo tricky to get the little man out of that he just screamed and screamed every time we tried to use it).