Baby carriers and back pain

Baby carriers do not need to hurt your back. If you're wearing them correctly, you'll feel the weight of the baby, but it shouldn't be so painful that you need to take pain meds. If you are feeling that much pain, you can Google the name of the carrier you have and the word "instructions" and someone somewhere will have posted photos of the correct way to wear that carrier. Or else try a different kind of carrier, because there is no perfect one, and maybe there's a better one for your body.

In general, the closer to you and higher up you can put your baby, the less pain and movement you'll have. If you're using a Bjorn or Bjorn-style carrier (which I don't actually recommend because I think other styles are far less painful, notably the Ergo if you like a constructed carrier or a wrap carrier if you like less construction), make sure the cross in the back crosses below your shoulder blades. It should be where your bra strap goes. Here's a really old post on different kinds of carriers.

Also, wearing your baby should be something you do because you want to. Not because it's "in fashion" or because Dr. Sears tells you to. Do it because babies who are worn tend to cry less, or because you like having your little one snuggled against you, or because your baby won't stop !@#$%-ing screaming if you put her down, or because your best friend walked all the baby weight off by wearing her baby, or because you can't deal with your stroller, or whatever. But let it be because you want to. Not because the lady at the grocery store or the women on the message board or the misogynist ad-writers at Motrin tell you you have to and then make fun of you for it.

You are the parent. You get to decide.

Also, seriously--Lucky Magazine? I read you because I want to get away from the "moms should do this and that" crap that bombards me every effing day in this country. All I want from you is to know whether ruching is in this fall and how to wear suede booties with a sweater dress and why shea butter is the miracle that's going to solve all my hair problems. I do not want misogynistic mommy drive-by ads in your pages. If you want to take ads from the hacks at Motrin (who apparently have never heard of a focus group), force them to give you ads about pain and *actual* fashion. They could have done a heck of an ad about stilettos and other painful shoes, but they chose the easy, inaccurate, bottom-feeding low-hanging fruit. Don't participate in the proliferation of mom-guilt on the hardworking women of the world. We get enough of it every day from people wearing Christmas sweaters. We want your magazine to be a safe space.

I think I'm going out to buy a big bottle of Advil tomorrow.

(Hey--if you're feeling carpal tunnel-type pain from lifting or carrying a baby or toddler, before you despair or get cortizone shots or dope yourself up on a pain reliver that starts with M that I'll never buy again, try homeopathy. Go to a health food store and plunk down $6 for a tube of pellets of Rhus Toxicodendron. Get 30x if they have them--if not get whatever dose they have. Take one under your tongue three times a day. If it's the proper remedy for your kind of pain, you should feel less inflammation and pain within three to four days. Keep taking until the pain is gone. If it isn't doing anything after four days, then it's the wrong remedy for you, so you can stop. Safe for breastfeeding, and no interactions with anything else! I had debilitating carpal tunnel from lifting my horse of a firstborn, and his pediatrician, who is also a homeopath, prescribed Rhus toxicodendron for me, and it worked like a charm. So I'm passing it on to you, the pain sufferers of the internet.)

Comments

[Her Bad Mother]

Here's something that I didn't mention in the post that I wrote about the Motrin issue - the fact that I perceived babywearing as kinda fashionable (pretty pretty slings that conceal a flabby postpartum belly? NICE) was extra motivation to make the effort to figure out babywearing, and I'm so glad that I did. But if it weren't such lifesaver - the babywearing - it wouldn't have mattered how fashionable it was, I wouldn't have done it. No energy for anything that doesn't make my life easier.

I do end up with a sore back or neck occasionally, but that's mostly, I think, just because I have a massive baby (he's pushing 25 lbs at barely six months) who is also squirmy and because I carry him so much (and not always in a sling or carrier.) But I take Advil at the end of a long day, not Motrin ;)

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Ironically, last week I had bad back pain, most likely from poor sling wearing. I was taking Tylenol, because isn't IB not so great for bfing babes? Anyway, my old bod just couldn't take the baby in the sling 24 hours a day like my other two.

I've since taken some lessons from my local massage therapist and switched sides (genius I tell you), and also rotated in a moby type wrap as well.

And clearly I can think of about 3000 other things to make me look more fashionable than wearing my screaming, drooling baby.

[laura Camacho]

I regularly ring sling my 38 pound two year old on short trips. I use an Ergo for longer walks. Switching sides is really important and I don't do it often enough because I don't like constraining my dominant hand/shoulder. But yeah - I've been an avid baby wearer for 2 years now and the back pain I have is from hefting her into the carseat in the middle of our Honda CR-V. Oy.

Thanks for the homeopathy suggestion; I definitely have wrist issues.

[Amie]

Also, if you're having trouble with your carrier, try finding a local babywearing group through www.thebabywearer.com or www.mamatoto.org. Both have listings of babywearing groups. My group has a library of different styles of carriers to try out, and lots of "experts" (moms) who can help you figure out which one is right for you and how to use it safely and comfortable.

[Timi]

Just FYI I think Ibuprofen is considered safe for breastfeeding. According to my LC who is also a RN the molecules are way to big to pass into the milk. Just saying that you should check it out before ruling it out. Ibuprofen helps in a lot of situations where tylenol can't because of it's anti-inflammatory properties.

[parisienne mais presque]

I knew I could count on my Paris-born 16-month-old son to be ON TOP of what's stylish.

You see, when he was born no one told ME that babywearing was, like, the hip thing to do. I bought the stroller and the baby seat and was all set to be a plain-old boring conventional mom, but my son had other ideas.

What he wanted to say was, "Hey, mom, for once you can be on the cutting edge of a new fashion trend! Wear me in a wrap and no one will notice your ratty sneakers or your unfortunate hairstyle!"

Alas, that was a bit beyond his verbal skills at six weeks old, so all he could do was scream his poor little heart out every time I put him down.

Safely cuddled up next to me in the Moby, he could finally sleep, relieved to know that he wouldn't be seen in the company of an unstylish mother.

[Jenny]

My GP did not hesitate to recommend ibuprofen to me as a BFing mother for my wrist pain. My pain started immediately after baby's birth and finally after 6 weeks of pain (night and day) the GP gave me a wrist splint and told me to "rest" it. Um, sure. No problem, Doc.

I called it carpel tunnel, but turns out mine was actually "de Quervain's stenosing tenosynovitis". Cool name, huh? Different tendon, apparently, than carpel tunnel. As GP said, it eventually went away after about 4 months. Thankfully didn't have to go the steroids or surgery route.

[Slim]

I have been known to intervene in improper wearing of Bjorns (which I like early on, both for walking with the baby and for holding the baby on my lap, facing outward, when we're eating out). But straps on the original kind tend to shift, and when I see people with the X near the base of their necks, I sometimes tell them it's shifted and ask if they'd like me to put it back for them.

[Cobblestone]

So could the wrist pain be described like:
-in the connection from the thumb to the wrist
-more painful before the wrists are 'warmed up'
-sometimes a clunky, pop kind of feeling
-friggin' relentless
-messes up handwriting but not thank goodness doesn't mess with my typing

I always thought carpel tunnel was a tingling sensation, and I don't have that but MERCY I could use some help with my wrists.

[heather]

Note too that if you're using an Ergo and having troubles figuring it out (like I was, especially with a newborn), Ergo makes a DVD with tricks and tips on how to use the Ergo. Also, ask at the store if they can help. I did this and all it took was a 15-minute 'lesson' to figure out what I was doing wrong.

Also, while evidence says that babywearing is good for bonding, causes less crying, etc. please note that not all babies like to be "worn". I know several who wanted nothing more than to see the world from a stroller. So if babywearing just isn't working for you, don't beat yourself up, just go with what works!

[JHA]

I had to Google the ad to see what you were talking about, and um, WOW. Just...wow. Someone seriously thought that would make parents WANT to buy their product? Had they been drinking heavily the night before?

(For anyone else with Tivo and no Lucky subscription - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mztymu72l7c)

Once my son got too big to wear in the front, YouTube how-to videos were a lifesaver in figuring out how to get him into an Ergo back carry on my own. I hate taking my stroller on the subway and he loves being carried, so I pretty much wear him on my back all day on weekends. The key for me is good shoes - my knees will start to feel the strain of that extra 22 lbs before my back will.

[Shelby]

I still use the baby bjorn with back support when my son is 1 year old because I have hip problems and it distributes his weight enough to not be on my hips that I can hold him, even for normal around the house time. He loves it for a short amount of time and is great, so now I can go get the paper, make coffee and still hold him. Also use it for putting away groceries etc. He loves being at my level and I enjoy doing things knowing he's safe and I can keep a close eye on him. He pulls hair, so I'm less keen on having him in a backpack, but I think my husband wants to try that, especially when I have hip surgery and can not pick him up.

[Shelby]

I also loved the sling and wore it constantly when he was smaller, but found that the uneven weight distribution was making my hip problems worse (it's the same thing as wearing a backpack with one shoulder strap)

[Moxie]

A good mom friend of mine is a pharmacist, and I asked her about ibuprofen years ago. What she said is that *some babies* have tummy troubles from it, just like some adults do (imagine! babies are just small people!). So you shouldn't go all ibuprofen-crazy until you figure out that it isn't bugging your baby. But if it doesn't cause either of you tummy troubles, then it's fine.

@heather--good point! Some babies don't like to be worn, and some don't like to be worn during certain phases even if they did before.

[Michelle G]

FYI- seems obvious, but after spending $90 on a Bijorn, I didn't think to check consignment stores. I later got our sling at our local kid's consignment store. They had several to choose from- and these things are great to buy used, because they are expensive and you don't always know which type will work out best. I think I spent $15 on the sling.

[Jenny]

@Cobblestone - yep, yep, yep (oh dear sweet jesus the popping), yep, and most likely, although mine was in my non-writing wrist. Add to that picking up baby nearly impossible and you've described me.

[the milliner]

So glad to hear I'm not alone in experiencing all of this pain! Mid-Back pain, lower back pain, wrist/thumb pain, tendinitis in both biceps (I think - self diagnosis). I feel like I am falling apart.

Does anyone have any experience with the mid back pain problem? Mine is really bad (though very slowly getting better thanks to visits to the chiro), mostly in the am after waking up from sleeping off & on all night (wake up 2-3 times to feed). Can't turn over in bed without it totally killing.

Don't think it's the baby carrier - mostly use the bjorn now, always with the cross low enough down, and my back doesn't hurt while I'm wearing the little guy. Can't do the ring sling - too much weight on one shoulder.

I've built a platform to raise the crib mattress even higher than the top setting of our crib (when I put my DS in a friends crib that was 4" higher, it was soooo much easier on my back) - made such a difference.

My chiro has given me more hints on how to properly lift the (big) little guy. Including putting one foot in front of the other, even if slightly, while lifting him out of the crib which has sides that go up to the top of my hip bones. Also now doing some exercises to open up the mid back area.

Take 2 Advil every night before bed as it helps lessen the mid back pain in the morning. But, I've been doing this for a while now and am beginning to wonder if prolonged use will have effects on DS as I'm breastfeeding.

So, am running out of ideas. Usually the chiro is the cure-all for back problems for me. Pre-pregnancy it just took a couple of visits to cure debilitating back problems. It's been 5 months now, and I've only seen marginal improvement with the mid back. I guess part of the big difference here is that normally I would be able to rest. Now, I still have to do a certain amount of lifting and carrying when DH is at work.

So, anyone have any brilliant suggestions? Or suggest who else I should go see? Naturopath? Physio therapist? I already see a great massage therapist. I hesitate to see a medical doctor for back pain as I don't just want to be drugged up. I want to fix the problem.

Oh, and that f#*!?ing car seat? Grrrrr. So hard to carry (with DS in it) in a way that you aren't contorting or hyperextending any limbs. Unfortunately, we have to carry it up to and down from the top of 3 story walk up.

[meggiemoo]

My friends and I just joined a group on Facebook telling Motrin to eff off for creating such a condescending ad. They received so many emails complaining about the ad that they wrote an apology to a blogger (Crunchy Domestic Goddess):

Dear Amy -

I am the Vice President of Marketing for McNeil Consumer Healthcare. I have responsibility for the Motrin Brand, and am responding to concerns about recent advertising on our website. I am, myself, a mom of 3 daughters.

We certainly did not mean to offend moms through our advertising. Instead, we had intended to demonstrate genuine sympathy and appreciation for all that parents do for their babies. We believe deeply that moms know best and we sincerely apologize for disappointing you. Please know that we take your feedback seriously and will take swift action with regard to this ad. We are in process of removing it from our website. It will take longer, unfortunately, for it to be removed from magazine print as it is currently on newstands and in distribution.

-Kathy

Kathy Widmer
VP of Marketing - Pain, Pediatrics, GI, Specialty
McNeil Consumer Healthcare
215-273-8192
kwidmer@mccus.jnj.com

Don't you just love it when the system works? We told them we didn't need their guilt-inducing ad, and they actually listened!

[meggiemoo]

Also...the aches and pains I experienced as a new Mom was something no one warned me about. For me, it had to do with contorting myself into new nursing positions, carrying that %$#!!* carseat around, and laying my son ever so slowly into his crib so he wouldn't wake up yet again.

I think I was in pain for the first 6 months. Massage helped, a chiro would have helped. Mostly, time and experience helped. But being a new Mom is really hard on your body! The day-to-day of it was much harder on me than the birthing was.

[Amanda]

I've bought every carrier in the book--3 ring slings, an Ergo, a Moby, Bjorn, Hotsling and a few homemade numbers. I have never gotten ANY of them to work for more than a few minutes with either of my children. This is SAD because I always wanted to wear them--I carry them around everywhere, babywearing would have been (and would still be) a godsend.

My problem is that they never feel secure--I always have to use a second hand to hold them. The slings and Moby seem to stifle them against my chest and it takes so long to get them in and out. Also, how do you sit down with a baby strapped on you? The Ergo makes my belly fat pouch out very unattractively. The Moby drags the ground in public when I try to tie it (think: dirty parking lot Moby-ing up location-UGH!). The sling jsut pisses them off something fierce. The hotsling I got cruncehs my babies' feet and legs. I've poured over the babywearing sites, memorized Moxie's baby carrier post, read instructions until my eyes glaze over, attended LLL meetings and had an actual in-home demo--all with no success. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WRONG?

[ramy]

thanks for the rant this morning! it made me smile in while facing 21 ungraded papers (to be graded around baby today and both kids tomorrow), office hours this afternoon (which I expect will be busy), and a cranky baby. can he really be teething this early?

hopefully he'll sleep in the sling during office hours. it has really been a lifesaver with him. just this morning I was debating whether to get an ergo soon or just hold off and wait until he's big enough for a backpack. or maybe see if wallyworld has some cheap knit fabric and make a wrap...

[pnuts mama]

thankfully the bean will go in a carrier/sling...the pnut wouldn't ever (eva!) go in one- she just knew it wasn't my arm, and being that close to my boob as too much for her to handle, i guess. the bean seems happy in the hand-me-down bjorn we have (thanks for the tip on where the x goes!!), and liked the pouch when he was teeny. i always wanted to try the moby, too scared of the process of wrapping. my friend who wears her kids loves her yamo.

i also love *not* wearing the baby plenty of time- bean sleeps in the swing, plays in the saucer thing, on the floor, etc. gives him a chance to just be him, lets me take a shower w/o the guilt of hearing him cry in the other room.

i miss excedrin. that stuff got me through grad school!!

[meggiemoo]

also on the different types of wraps/slings. Slings didn't work for us, he always hated them. He loved the Bjorn when he was old enough to face out, and my husband was ok with wearing that one (I suppose it's the "manliest" of them all, hah!). I bought the Ergo much later on and fell in love with it. It didn't cause me back strain like the Bjorn did.

I mostly started using the carriers because, as a PP mentioned, my kid demanded it. He hated strollers, carseats, anything where he wasn't being held. I *wanted* to be one of the moms who could walk off the pounds while pushing him (sleeping peacefully) in a stroller and sipping a latte. (me, not him). But the kid had different ideas. Screamed, screamed, screamed unless he was held.

I became quite the talk of the neighborhood, pushing an empty stroller, while carrying my kid. So I gave up and gave in!

[Doesn't Believe in Magic]

Homeopathy is Be You En Kay. There I said it. There's a reason it doesn't work and that is that there is no there there. What's in that bottle? sugar pills, plain water. I can get you placebos for way cheaper, I call them m&ms and they are better anyway. Also: Bigfoot not real.

[Cathy]

I found a video of the ad on YouTube. I think that the argument in the ad is a bizarre and not helpful - adding peer pressure and external stuff to many moms who are trying to find their way into motherhood. Very similar, IMO to cosmetic ads, where it preys on your insecurities. (Do I look like a real mom? I don't feel like a real mom. What about crows feet? Do they make me look older than I am? See. Same sort of reasoning.)

However, it's not the first pain reliever ad that tried to position the medicine as "mother's little helper" I remember seeing a print ad picturing several kids "running amok" and a worn out mom, and the pain reliever suggesting that it was the solution. This, along with "I don't have time for the pain" themes would be much more universal and inoffensive approaches.

Besides, wouldn't the "baby wearing because of the peer pressure" segment be a very narrow target? Aren't we too smart for that?

[parisienne mais presque]

@Amanda -- I'm no expert, but I ran into some of the same problems at the beginning that you describe. I was ready to give up and declare myself a failure at babywearing, but eventually I got it to work for me.

I had to practice a lot with the Moby. It was a bit delicate to get tied with just the right tightness (especially since most of the time you're working with a screaming, cranky baby who isn't likely to be too keen on take-them-out-try-it-again). The key was not to give up. It probably took twenty times to get it right and another twenty to truly feel like I knew what I was doing. Try it at home in front of a mirror, and try not to worry if it works, just say to yourself, "Gee, I think I'll spend five minutes trying this again just for the heck of it." Once I did get the hang of it, I LOVED my Moby.

For some of the holds, you can tie the wrap before you leave home and then just slip the baby in when you're in a parking lot (because yeah, icky pavement + trailing wrap is not cool.)

Le Petit hated hated HATED the cradle hold, so I ended up passing on the ring sling until he was old enough for a hip carry. I haven't used my ring sling all that much as a result, so I can't help there, alas.

But I also have an Ergo, and it still comes in quite handy in many situations, like hiking in the woods or trying to get a cranky fourteen-month-old to sleep on a transatlantic flight. It may be worth experimenting with different layers of clothing underneath the belt strap and/or placing it lower or higher on your hips.

Finally, remember that these things have a learning curve. When you watch experienced moms or instructional videos you get the feeling that you should be able to just do it like that, with your eyes closed and balancing on one foot if necessary. It ain't so easy at first and no, it isn't just you. You have to learn how it feels for yourself to get it right... and the baby does too!

Good luck!

[Brooke]

I have way more back pain from the co-sleeping/nursing than I do from popping the baby into a carrier. Although I have never succeeded in using the Bjorn for more than 10 minutes without needing some painkillers. I've never bought Motrin though. It's too expensive when you can get generic ibuprofen.

[pnuts mama]

also, michelle g., depending on where you are, your local craigslist can be a good source for all things baby, especially slings that folks bought and their baby didn't like, so basically brand new! i got the pouch one off of ebay, too. i hate buying expensive things like that and then my kid ends up hating it!

i was also thinking how different it is now with the bean than it was w/ the pnut- i wanted to wear her so bad (i hear ya, amanda- i was considering cutting leg holes in the kangaroo pouch carrier so he could be snug but kick his legs as he wanted too- did the bjorn instead) but she would have none of it- but at that time i remember wearing your baby was still sort of earthy crunchy mama (around here) and folks looked at you funny- now it's cool. go figure. i'm so freakin cool. too bad i'm not in high school anymore and couldn't give a damn.

[ramy]

on the carrier thing--I have a couple of pouch slings. I started with a hotsling my oldest adored to use on my hip but the new baby doesn't like. i made another that holds him higher and closer to my chest and he loves it. I never had luck w/cradle holds w/ either kid--little dude just sits upright like a frog and sleeps away.

what amazes me is how many people don't know about carriers. last month we went to the state fair and I must have been asked about mine 20x. My current theory is that its a more urban phenomenon and the fair attracts lots of rural folks.

[MrsHaley]

@Amanda, I'm kind of repeating parisienne mais presque, but ITA about strapping on the wrap before leaving the house. Then you can fiddle with it all you want before standing in the parking lot. I often put on whichever carrier I'm using (I alternate btw the Bjorn, ring sling and homemade moby wrap), then put a hoodie or cardigan over it and load the baby in whenever we reach our destination.

I've also made up some of my own wrap techniques if I'm feeling like the conventional way isn't secure enough or whatever. You might try wrapping it around your body or your baby a few more times to make the tails shorter and to feel like it's more secure. Whenever I first put it on, I always wrap it MUCH tighter because the stretchy material loosens up with wearing. I also pull the ring sling WAY tight, too. No matter what position you're carrying or which carrier you're using, no part of the baby's torso should ever be at or below your belly button. "High and tight" works for baby carriers AND haircuts!

@Pnuts mama ... I miss Excedrin too. We migraine sufferers have been known to call it "Vitamin E." Against a migraine, Tylenol is about as effective as tic tacs.

Finally, I will never buy Motrin, regardless of their sensitive response to the uproar. A$$holes.

[r+k+mama]

Used the Bjorn with my daughter. She loved it, I loved it, happy happiness. When I was pregnant with my son I researched carriers and every site I went to said something like "Bjorn! Evil! Will hurt you and ruin your baby forever!" This scared me a little so over the first 3 months of my sons life we went through 2 ring slings, 1 Peanut shell, 1 hotsling and a Mai Tai. My baby said something like "Wah! Why are you putting me in these torture devices! I hate you! Wah, etc!" I gave up, put him in the Bjorn and guess what? Happy happiness. It also caused me the least pain.

[Kirsten]

I'll need to watch for the Motrin ad - the VW Routan ad has my panties in a bunch right now - I hate that ad.

Homeopathic remedies are not BUNK. Sorry they don't work for you, they do work for the rest of us.

I got into babywearing with my daughter late so I never experienced the full benefits. I started with my son at 1 day old and he and I both love it. I have a Babyhawk (mei tai), one on order, and 2 Moby wraps. The Mobys take practice, don't give up. Slings don't work for my body type otherwise I'd have some of those too.

My daughter was content with the car seat, bouncy, and swing. My son would have none of it so BWing was the only way to keep him calm.

I love wearing him because it keeps hands away!

[sheSaid]

Thanks for the recomendation of Rhus Toxicodendron.... running to the store this afternoon to get some...

[Mazlynn]

Another comment on carpal (didn't have time to read all the replies, sorry if this is a repeat...)

I'm taking a pregnancy exercise class with a physical therapist, and she has pointed out that the slouching that we tend to do when pregnant or carrying a baby or so forth puts pressure on the joints at the shoulders, which can contribute to increased swelling in the arms, including the wrists, making carpal tunnel syndrome worse. So learning stretches that pull the shoulder blades back together for proper posture, and learning how to pick things up properly (straight back, bending from the waist rather than hunching the shoulders to pick up the kid) can help reduce carpal symptoms. And talking to a physical therapist to learn the right stretches and behavioral modifications is a good idea if trying to make those changes on your own aren't helping - if you can, see if you can find a PT who specializes in pregnant/postpartum women.

[Meagan Francis]

I guess to me this sounds like the old adage "if breastfeeding hurts, you're doing it wrong." In my experience nursing four children, sometimes it just hurts. In my case once it hurt because of thrush...once it hurt because positioning was bad...and once it hurt for no reason except my nipples needed time to get used to my baby's barracuda-like suck. Hearing "if it hurts you're doing it wrong" was extremely frustrating because I WANTED to keep going, I WAS doing it right, and I just wanted to feel like I wasn't alone (after a couple of weeks the pain was gone and I went on to have a happy two-plus year nursing relationship. But it helped when a few people were honest enough to say, uh, yeah, sometimes? It just hurts.)

Anyway all this is to say I've tried many different kinds of slings, different holds, worn them differently etc...and when you have a) 9- and 10-lb newborns and b) a propensity toward back/shoulder strain and pain, sometimes it just HURTS. I still wore my babies for 110 reasons, but it feels a little dismissive to say "if it hurts you're doing it wrong"...unless you know the personal anatomy and babywearing habits of every single woman complaining of pain, the truth is you just don't know.

[JennG]

(Delurking to comment)

I totally agree about the ads. Babywearing isn't always for everyone - some babies really do not like it, even if they're not the average. But I loved the Ergo and I loved it precisely because it redistributed the weight so well.

And what is with the mommy martyrdom rearing its head again? Haven't we yet learned that we should be working to a point where mothers do not have to be in literal pain all the time to provide for their kids? I am an AP-inspired parent but let's get real.

However, on the magazine front - I work at a great magazine, but in this economy we do need the ads we get. :)

[hush]

@Moxie - Amen about ibuprofen causing "tummy troubles" in adults, too. And by "tummy troubles," I mean excruciating, horrible pain as my stomach lining began eroding after only 3 days of ibuprofen use per the Rx & Dr.'s directions. I had hoped it would help with the minor postpartum tearing um, down there, but Never Again! The cure was way worse than the so-called disease. Rumor has it an overdose of tylenol can reportedly send you into liver failure. Now whenever I have a headache, my first line of defense is a huge glass of ice water, and a half hour of self-accupressure on my hand in the space between my thumb and my pointer finger. For all other minor pains, I've just resorted to trying to ignore them because I am so scared of OTC pain meds. Which sucks.

re: Baby Bjorns - They're not all bad. Someone gave us a secondhand one & DH actually used it quite a lot on the weekends until DS was about 6 months old & suddenly started demanding to be put down on the floor to crawl. Amen to all who have said not every kiddo likes babywearing, or likes it for long. After 6 months & Spring had arrived, DS still loved to be held in our arms, but hated to be swaddled or constrained in any type of carrier or sling anymore. He seemed to get easily overheated in all of the slings & carriers we borrowed.

As for the silly/sad suggestion that if you don't wear your baby, you're not a "real" AP-er, I say booosheet! AP theory is all about physical closeness between parent & child so the parent can learn to read the child's signals in order to be able to respond to the child's unique, changing needs. Sometimes that unique, changing need might be the need to NOT be held in a hot, sweaty sling in the summer when they'd rather crawl around, or remove everything from the kitchen drawer I didn't get around to babyproofing yet. One True Wayism & Parenting Theory Fundamentalism can suck it, and that's why I love all of the smart Moxie mamas who aren't such literal, black-white thinkers all the damn time. ;)

[Moxie]

Hey, Meagan, what if you bought a pair of running shoes and they really hurt your feet? Would you just accept that and keep running until you needed to take pain relievers? Or would you look for a different kind of shoes, ones that fit your feet better? Why is it OK to say "just tough it out" with a babywearing device when they're not all made the same and the one you have may just not fit you very well?

@Doesn't Believe In Magic, I'm sorry homeopathy has never worked for you. When I had inflamed pain (from holding a 10-pound newborn) that was closing in and decreasing my range of motion by the day, and no pain reliever was touching it, it stopped the inflammation and pain for me. Am I a liar? Or delusional? Or maybe we've just had different experiences, and that's OK.

[Margot]

I haven't read all the comments but Milliner, try an osteopath. I have had such good results from mine, it is definitely something I'd recommend. I had excruciating lower back/hip pain for a couple of months after an extraordinarily stressful time in my life (a couple weeks of which I spent hoisting my huge baby nephew), and NOTHING helped--not drugs, not the chiro, not massage, not acupuncture, not homeopathy. The osteopath (and I'm not exaggerating) was MIRACULOUS. They focus on deep tissue manipulation of the spine and surrounding tissue. The weird thing is, the treatments are very subtle and not painful at all--it almost feels like nothing is happening, but I'm here to tell you after 2 treatments my pain was 100% gone. Osteopaths are specialized MD's, and an interesting combo of Western + alternative treatment philosophies. I can't recommend osteopathy highly enough.

[Mom2Boys]

I dunno. I thought Meagan's post sounded like if she chose to jog for whatever reason and after trying countless pairs of shoes and finding the ones she liked best - if she still had some pain it didn't mean she was wearing the wrong shoes or jogging the wrong way. Just that as a physical exercise jogging, like babywearing, can be a strain on your body but if you like the results you do it anyway.

But then again I neither jog nor babywear.

[Meagan Francis]

Where did I say "just tough it out?" or suggest people don't try different options? My point is that sometimes you do all those things and it's still uncomfortable. Doesn't mean it's not worth it (for many of us) just that it's a reality.

I've tried no fewer than twenty baby carriers--some are better than others, yes, but sometimes, my back still hurts when I use them. I do "tough it out", I guess (though I don't really see it that way) because the benefits outweigh the soreness.

Babyhood is a relatively short time, budgets are finite, time is a valuable resource, and we don't all have access to stores where we can go try on every sling/carrier to see which one works best (plus, often they feel great for the first twenty minutes, and not so great afterward). At what point do we just say "Okay, maybe there's a better option out there, but I've done my best. I'm going to wear my baby because it works for me, but once in a while I'm going to have a sore neck or a stiff back and in those cases maybe a pill (Motrin, Advil whatever) wouldn't be such a bad thing."

If I bought a pair of running shoes and they felt great for a mile run that doesn't necessarily mean I'd expect my feet to feel awesome after a marathon. Some days, you wear the baby on a quick trip to Target; somedays, it's a day-long marathon. And sometimes, like many other things having to do with motherhood, it makes you sore and tired. My point is simply that there's not always a solution in buying a new product or service. And it's not always because Mom is "doing it wrong".

[jacqueline]

i had no idea that "babywearing" was in style-all i knew was that my sisters had baby carriers for their kids, an i should register for one. i'm so glad that i have my Lascal because the back support is great, and even though eventually it does wear on my shoulders a bit, it's allowed me to go grocery shopping scream-free, and even see a movie in a theatre!!! granted, i was standing for most of it, but my son was quiet and beggars can't be choosers.

[becky]

to piggyback on mazlynn's response, i also took a postpartum exercise class with a physiotherapist who said that wrist pain could stem from how much strain moms put on their wrists from the added weight while curling them inwards to carry their babies. she suggested keeping your forearms and wrists straight (don't bend your wrists)--sounds funny, but it's doable to hold your baby this way. i followed her advice as soon as i noticed my wrists starting to hurt. i also tacked on some gentle wrist exercises like bending them back and forth gently against the wall for a count of 5 and wrist circles. i had horrible wrist pain before taking this advice and there's nothing worse than being woken up every hour to feed your screaming child and you find that you can even lift him out of his bassinet because your wrists are on fire with pain.
oh the joys of new motherhood... ;)
also a good middle back "stretch" is to back up against the wall or lie on your back or back2back with a partner and put your arms up , bent at elbows, in a football goalpost type manner and just relax and pull your shoulderblades down. if you're with a partner, clasp hands palm2palm and enjoy a gentle stretch.
hope that helps!

[Doesn't Believe in Magic]

Hold on, I haven't called anyone a liar or delusional yet. I just don't wish people to waste $ on sugar pills when they could spend that money on more delicious sugar, like gummy bears. Or hershey kisses. They taste better and work just as well.

[Charisse]

fwiw, we found it was possible to put Mouse facing outward in the bjorn at a very young age (6 weeks) if we placed a folded cloth diaper behind her head for extra support. Since the result of any inward-facing carry, sling, or (later) backpack was inconsolable howling, that worked for us. Never bought an ergo because inward was the only option. When she got too big for the bjorn, we just carried her or shouldered her if she needed it. I used a sling a little bit when she was between 1 1/2 and 2 1/2, for commuting on rainy days when I needed my second hand for an umbrella rather than a walking toddler, but it was uncomfortable for both of us--bit into my shoulder and Mouse's thighs. No more than a 1/2 mile of that, thank you very much.

[hush]

@Meagan - Thank you for clarifying in your second comment. I get what you're saying, and believe you when you say you've tried all you can and yet nothing is pain-free. What Mom2Boys said is spot on, too.

[Ginevra]

Just wanted to add to the wrist pain comments: I didn't have wrist pain so much, but definite pain and swelling in my hands/fingers (and maybe some wrist issues too, I can't even remember). I was also having an awful time BF'ing and figuring out how to get my son to do a good latch, gritting my teeth thru nipple pain, etc., so it took me a while to notice that I was also, while supporting his head as he nursed, keeping my hand between his head and my beloved My Brest Friend nursing pillow. Obviously his weighty little head was putting a lot of pressure on my hand joints, so once I got him well latched I would move my hand out from under his head and flex it a little to get the blood moving. This seemed to help. It did take a few weeks, maybe longer, before the pain went away, sorry. But it did, and the BF issues worked out too. Take heart, new moms! You can do it!

[Moxie]

They work just as well for *you*. Trust me--I was chugging sugar like water and it didn't do anything for the pain. Two Rhus toxicodendrons and the inflammation was gone. 10 days of the Rhus toxicodendron and I didn't even remember which arm had had the pain.

Meagan, what kind of pain are you talking about? "Normal" wear and tear and regular pain from parenting is one thing. But I just can't imagine doing something repeatedly that meant you needed to take pain relievers on a regular basis to deal with it (barring chronic conditions, I mean). I don't mean that in a "what are you, nuts" kind of way, but a "give yourself permission to be kind to yourself" kind of way. Maybe the key phrase is "it works for me." Having the kind of pain that made me need to take pain relievers regularly just wouldn't be something that would work for me. But if it's fine for you, then maybe you just have a different place on the smiley-face scale than I do.

[Maura]

Wow. I think we may be taking some of the anger that should be directed towards the makers of Motrin and directing it at each other here. Who would have thought that the subject of occasional back/hip/shoulder pain from babywearing would have such backlash.

Moxie, I don't think you fully read Meagan's post. She DID say that she tried different slings, positions, etc, and that they still sometimes didn't work for her. I think your response to her was a little harsh and dismissive of her position. I actually think it was funny that your response to Doesn't Believe in Magic's post was more respectful, considering the tone of the two original comments.

[Moxie]

Ah, wait!

I'm saying "if it hurts, you're doing it wrong" but meaning "you shouldn't have to be in pain." You're hearing "There's something wrong with you because you're letting yourself be in pain." Which is so not my intention. I just don't want anyone to think pain is their lot.