The reveal

So!

Last Tuesday I quit my full-time job.

Let me back up a little. You all knew I was stressed about, well, everything. And one of the things that was stressing me out was the fact that my job was no longer a match for my talents and interests. I like people at work, so it was a fine place to come every day, but it was not at all the best use of my time. Add to that that I was always late (because of kid drop-off). And feel like my real calling is to be writing Ask Moxie and doing way more stuff for you and with you, and moving into other media. I just felt stuck and trapped.

Then, as happens to so many women going through a divorce, a man from my past called. This man, however, didn't ask me out. He asked if I was interested in doing some freelance work for him (he was a former freelance boss from back when both of us were at a different company).

At the same time, I'd started taking a class that forced me to look at myself in a radically different way and confront the lies I'd been telling myself my whole life about who I am and what my capabilities are. What I can expect from myself. What will happen if I really start taking myself seriously.

Then I talked to a friend I hadn't seen in months, an oncologist. She asked how I was doing, and I started telling her, and she looked me straight in the eye and said, "I diagnose people our age with cancer every week. Some of them make it, but some of them don't. If you know what it is that you're supposed to be doing, and you don't do it, then you're wasting time."

So I ran the numbers and realized I'd be making at least as much freelancing as I did at my full-time job, but with more flexibility to write Ask Moxie and no business travel. And I'm lucky that there are enough options in New York State to buy into almost-affordable health insurance plans for myself and the kids. And I quit. The day after I quit I got offered two more freelance jobs.

The only issue is that I didn't want to leave my company high and dry, so I'm still full-time here for a few more weeks. At the same time, I'm doing what's essentially a full-time freelance project. So I'm working an insane number of hours and doing all the same regular stuff (kids, class, friends, exercise). Which is why Ask Moxie has suffered.

Waaaahhhhh. Stress, but a good kind of stress. I'll tell you more about my last business trip coming up (dinner in Seattle, October 27, anyone?) and the class later on.

Comments

[cat19]

Congratulations--to you, and to us, because more freelance you and more Moxie you is better for the world.

I'm so glad for you--you deserve it.

[peaceinyourcrib]

Moxie!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!
how wonderful; how Divine!
wow.
wow.
wow.

can you tell us a bit about this class you are taking?

[peaceinyourcrib]

oh, i re-read and see i must wait re: the class data.

wah.

[marci]

good for you! isn't it nice when the universe confirms your suspicions?

[nicole]

So happy for you--big congrats!

[Suzie Q]

Congratulations! Oh, Moxie, it sounds like you're really feeling good about the way things are going now, and I'm so happy for you. Yay!

[paola]

Fantastic news Moxie. I'm really happy for you. Can't wait to hear how it all pans out

paola

[Shannon]

What a crazy coincidence that you and I both quit our full-time jobs to go freelance in the same week! Same thing with me, loved the people I worked with, but the job itself was no longer right for me. Tasks were dull, and I found myself on the Internet all day ... and all that to leave my kid 50 hours a week (full-time job plus one-hour commute each way). Also it's like your oncologist friend said, "If you know what you're supposed to be doing and you don't do it, then you're wasting time."

Congrats to you on this big life revelation! And if you have too much of that freelance work, pass some along my way!

[Emma B]

Welcome to the world of freelancing. I've done it since 2001, with a one-year hiatus where I got sick of it and went back to a real job. Here's the two pieces of advice I give to anyone embarking on full-time freelancing:

35% of every paycheck goes in a separate savings account, more if you can possibly spare it. Freelancing is cyclical, and there absolutely will be times when you're not making much or any money. Build up as large an emergency cushion as you can. Also, you'll pay your quarterly taxes out of this account -- and on that note, an accountant is very much worth your while.

Schedule your freelance work just like a real job. Most people think the problem with freelancing is that they'd procrastinate too much, but it's just as easy to get caught up in the trap of working around the clock. When the work is right there at home, it's hard to leave it behind. From personal experience, that's how you get burned out.

Good luck with it!

[Jill]

Congrats!

[Mom2Boys]

Wonderful news! Good for you!!!

[Heather]

Yay! I feel less stress for you! You'll have to tell us about the class you took! I am looking for something to motivate me and it sounds like the class you took could be it! GO MOXIE!

[Jac]

Wow. Moxie - I don't know you except through this site but I am feeling so, so happy for you. I think it is so fantastic that you have the courage to make things happen for yourself rather than accept a mediocre situation. And I think it is so empowering for women in general to have role models who ask for what they want instead of accepting what they receive.

Seattle? Only 2.5 hours from Vancouver!! And good outlet shopping between here and there is an added bonus. I will look at my schedule.

[Alice]

Yay! That is so wonderful. Good luck on this new adventure!

[rudyinparis]

Gasp!

How awesome! I love it!

If you want to take a break from Ask Moxie during this super-pressed time, I say, go for it. Preserve sanity by any means possible!

I am so, so happy for you. Your evolution and growth, what I've been able to glimpse, continues to inspire me in my own life.

[rudyinparis]

And Shannon, I didn't know you made the leap, too! Keep us posted on how it's all going.

Yay for you!

[S]

Wonderful! You are an inspiration.

[Moxie]

Shannon, yay! I saw you contemplating it last week and wanted to tell you to do it.

[electriclady]

WHOOOOOO!

Emma B's advice re: saving and taxes is very wise. I have a great accountant (who has been doing my taxes since my freelance days) if you don't already have one.

[Mrs. Higrens]

In the words of Hedra's post today...this is a very positive snowball.

Yay!

[Summer]

I'm so happy for you, Moxie. I hope it works out even better than you could have imagined.

And I must say, yay for New York State's healthcare options. FWIW, some of the best health care coverage I have ever had was through the DC government's Healthy Families program. As a result, I'm a huge fan of the idea of government getting involved in health insurance. Bring it on.

I also agree with Rudyinparis... if you need to cut back on your Ask Moxie-ing during this transition period, I'll be waiting to read you when you get back.

However, I must insist that you post about the Project Runway finale. That is not optional.

[Marie]

Wow! You go, Moxie! You are a constant inspiration to me.

[r+k+mama]

Congratulations, Moxie!

[Kristin]

HUGE CONGRATS!!! Wow, this is fabulous!

[attiton]

Yay, Moxie! Go, Moxie!

[Jody]

Congratulations! That's good news. Good news.

[Este]

How inspiring. Will look forward to hearing about this big life change. And I want to thank you for the tremendous resource you have been for me in navigating the world of parenting and motherhood.

[stacy]

What Jac said is so true: "And I think it is so empowering for women in general to have role models who ask for what they want instead of accepting what they receive." Yes yes yes!! It's an EXCELLENT lesson for your kids, too, Moxie! Congratulations!!

Your oncologist friend is quite wise. Does she have any tips on figuring out what the hell it is you're supposed to be doing, if you're not Moxie? :)

[Bobbi]

Fantastic news!! Good for you!!

[enu]

Go for it and best wishes for a successful future! It sounds like you will be so much freer and happier.

(BTW, even when you are doing "what you're supposed to be doing" cancer totally sucks. The fact that you're doing what you're supposed to be doing while you have it is not much consolation, IME. In fact, it makes you do what you're supposed to be doing less excellently, so it double sucks. So yeah, pursue your dreams, but not because you think it would making getting cancer worthwhile ;-) )

[giddy]

Congrats! And yes, please do share what kind of class you are taking that has helped you to examine your life and what you are doing with it. Thanks!

[Jojo]

That is just the best news ever. I'm so happy for you. What an amazing discovery process you have been going through. I have learned so much about so many things on here. Mcuh more than just how to live with a non sleeping baby.

[Elana]

Way to go Moxie! It takes real courage and vision to do what you did. And yay to you having more time for Ask Moxie! As a new mom this site has been a gift from the heavens. I wish I could make the trip to Seattle from Vancouver to see you.

[Jo-Ann]

How exciting!!

All the luck to you and I know you can do it.

[effective nancy]

Congratulations, Moxie! Your personal and professional fulfillment will be terrific models for your boys...and us :)

[Cloud]

Congratulations, Moxie! And Shannon!

[lizl]

Congratulations! "Build it and they will come!" You should read James Kochalka's book "Quit Your Job." It's a sweet and loving little comic about following your dreams. He's an amazing writer and this little book pushed me to quit my day job and become a full time yogini (and a successful one, incidentally). You've obviously already taken the plunge, but it might just reinforce how right the move is. best of luck and love!

[el-e-e]

Oh, congratulations. Stories like yours give everybody HOPE. Hooray!! Anxious to hear more.

[doublejen]

Wow - congrats!! I recently gave notice at my job (3 months' notice!) that I will not be coming back after kid #2 is born in January. I'll be home full-time for a while, but I intend to do some serious thinking about what it is I really, really want to do when I go back to work (someday). Thanks so much for the inspiration, and looking forward to hearing more when you have a moment to breathe! :)

[michaela]

Woohooo!! That is just astonishingly great news. Big cheers to you.

And I second (third?) everything Emma B. said about freelancing. The separate savings account is crucial (I have mine at ING, which is relatively high yield), as is a great accountant.

Equally important is what she said about scheduling work -- and really being OFF when you're not working. I find that incredibly difficult to do, especially since my office is literally right in the middle of our house (bizarre 1920s layout did not foresee home office requirements). I've started actually shutting down my desktop computer before I leave to pick up my daughter at daycare -- it's a mental signal that the workday is done... and it keeps me from checking email as soon as I walk back in the door.

[Pippi]

Congratulations!! And good luck! It feels great to love what you do and I'm so happy when people get that opportunity.

[Jill]

Awesome news. I love the way we all continue to learn from each other here.

[A]

I might jump in Jac's car and join you!

[hedra]

Working on maybe doing the same thing, only the job already left (end of contract). Haven't figured out the job, yet, though (that is, the freelance work).

Glad for you. Glad glad glad.

[JustASuggestion]

Perhaps a few guest columnists here over the next month might relieve some stress for you, Moxie!

[neilio]

Wahey, congratulations to you! I raise a big mug full of a tasty frosty beverage in your general direction and toast the future.

[Jutta]

Congratulations! I think it's fantastic what you're doing. And you're doing what so many of us wish we had the courage or ability to do: Follow your wishes and dreams! Good for you! And Good for us, because that's great role modeling for many.

[Ann]

Yay! Congratulations! That is going to be amazing! I so wish I had a freelance-able skill.

I'm up for dinner in Seattle on the 27th -- toddler participation will, of course, depend on the time. I'd be happy to suggest some places if you let me know where you'll be!

[Julie]

Happy thoughts for you. Good advice about the separate tax account. Taxes will kill you in April if you don't deduct and make estimated quarterly payments....and it's really easy to "forget" that the big chunk of $$ hasn't been processed through our government yet. We are struggling with that right now ourselves.

I think the freedom you will feel (they don't call it FREElance for nothing) will empower you in new and exciting ways. Congratulations. You continue to inspire.

[ML]

Congratulations Moxie! And Shannon! I admire the both of you for your courage, which I hope that someday I can harness my own to change my career path.