Well, OK, then

The idea that this is sort of like a pledge drive for public radio really got me. And also the idea that this site replaces a bunch of parenting books.

But what really convinced me was the argument that my thinking it's tacky is basically just another example of a woman not getting paid for work that a man would get paid for, because women are not supposed to need money. But, you know what? I do need money. My job is not fancy and I don't make a lot of money, especially by NYC standards. If I could move to someplace with a lower cost of living without spending an extra 1.5-2 hours a day away from my kids because of the commute, I would, but that's not an option right now.

As a few commenters said, I am not in dire need, but I do work hard, so I'm hoping you think of this in the Donna Summer sense, and not in the "which charity should I donate to?" sense. If you're wondering what charity to donate to, please support The Heifer Fund, which does amazing work with people in their local communities and helps keep families together. Also, consider switching to fair-trade chocolate, which directly helps children from being sold into slavery, and fair-trade coffee, which also helps keep kids from pesticide-related birth defects as well as poverty.

So, here we go with the Ask Moxie Pledge Drive:

Please feel free to completely ignore the donate button. And don't forget to read the question below this about "no gifts please" birthdays and put your opinion in the mix.

Comments

[AnonDonor]

FWIW, Moxie, this donation IS a thank-you TO you... so to piggyback on the below discussion, no thank-you notes needed from you ;-)

I was trying for a laugh on that one...

[caramama]

Hear hear! I will click the button when I get home tonight!

[amberjee]

thanks for getting me through so many sleep deprived days and nights. most books made me feel like a terrible mother. you made me feel like all this was to be expected.

[Charisse]

Just donated, and I'll do it regularly if given the opportunity! Thanks Moxie (yet again) for this site.

[Allison]

Puh-leeze, don't spend time on a thank-you note. (re)Reading the four-month sleep regression info is thank you enough. Baby G hits 5 months on Tuesday and we SURVIVED it, thankyouverymuch.

[Margot]

Moxie, I love you and your blog. And I love everyone who comments, too. Even though I don't know you, I *know* you. And the community I've found here on your blog is (to cop a phrase from MasterCard's ads) priceless. Donating to you is a no-brainer!

thankyouthankyouthankyou for giving of yourself to all of us!

[eccentriclibertarian]

I just donated, and my child hasn't even been born yet (due in Nov.)! I've been reading the blog & its archives for a few weeks now and can already tell it will be a most useful resource.

[Shannon]

Well, if you really are NPR, PBS, etc., can you have pledge drives repeatedly to REMIND us to do this? I know I personally am more than happy to donate, but will likely forget if not reminded.

[tonapah]

I just donated and was hoping PayPal would allow me to leave a note, but since it didn't, here's my note: This blog is the only place I can come for parenting advice where there isn't a "who is the best/most self-sacrificing mother?" contest going on. I love your positive attitude and really appreciate you answering my email a couple weeks ago (about nursing to sleep and allowing the baby to sleep on a mattress on the floor). Thanks to your blog I now know about sleep regressions, which is the only thing keeping me sane right now. Thank you! :) I hope you do get to give up your day job someday and be Moxie full-time.

[zenjen]

I am so glad to help you out, Moxie. You have saved me more than all the baby/sleep/parenting books combined. I hope you do this more regularly (like NPR) so I can be reminded of how much you help and enrich our lives. Thanks again!

[Nutmeg]

Exactly... who needs parenting advice (except Ginot, which I found because of you)...

I enjoy and value every minute I've spent on AskMoxie since the nugget was born... 1.5 years ago!

[theclevermom]

You know, Ann Landers gave advice in a syndicated column. You can bet your bippy she got paid to write those. And she only gave one perspective: you work to bring not only your own considered advice, but you harness the experience of many parents to enhance what you offer. Just because you created your own writing oppourtunity, doesn't mean you do not deserve exactly what women who write in dailies get paid.

Providing entertainment to people (and while what you offer is therapeutic to many, it is essentially an entertainment to us all who may not directly require each piece of wisdom) is a job normally well compensated. Just look at Hollywood! Just look at the dailies, magazines, TV, porn!

It is my wish that you shed your shyness about being compensated for your wonderful work and through donations and advertising revenue are able to supplement your regular income.

I'm soooooo tired of hearing women undervalue themselves for doing work they get great satisfaction from , work that doesn't feel like work, work that is fun to do. In my field, I'm a birth doula in addition to my gabillion websites, undervaluing one's business worth is chronic. I did a radio show about doula fees recently and my cohost immediately raised her fees after I vented about how I wish women would place more value on the incredibly important services they provide.

Just because we do not walk into a patriarchal day job set up to do this work of writing on the internet does not mean it has no value.

Hmmm, maybe I should write an essay about how the structure of the internet is a perfect female construct...

[anon]

You'd be so much better than that "work/life" woman they have on The Washington Post and those baiting "discussions/blogs" they set up. Or, they had them a year ago. The only good that came of that was when they added MetroDad on as a regular, so at least you get some Dad's aren't just novelty coverage of parenting now and then. Hm... not sure if it's still there, but it'd be great if you pitched for syndication somewhere. You and Carolyn Hax are the best.

[professor mama]

Moxie, Could you set up a "guestbook" or something to sign as people make pledges (re: tonapah)? I would like to leave you a personal note on the site with my pledge; plus, it would give new readers an "entree" into the community.....

[Lee]

So true. There are "donate" buttons on all sorts of blogs run by men and people don't bat an eye.

Glad you did it Moxie!! Good for you.

[Today Wendy]

I just stumbled across this article:
http://www.kk.org/thetechnium/archives/2008/08/people_want_to.php

by Kevin Kelly called "People want to pay" which seemed entirely appropriate here.

"Payment is

1) A way of connecting.
2) A sign of approval.
3) A vote.
4) It indicates an alligence with the maker.
5) It feels good to the payer, to support.

People buy stuff, but what we all crave are relationships. Payment is an elemental type of relationship. Very primitive, but real. "

[ACJ]

I know this is super nosy and none of my business but I am dying to know how much you are paid through this drive. A ballpark figure would be great - you know, less than $500, more than $10K... I just wonder how big this community is, and further, how feasible it is for a person (by 'person', I mean YOU) to earn a wage doing this. But of course, it is SUPER nosy and NONE of my business so if you don't say so, I will be okay.

[navismom]

A friend turned me on to this blog a few weeks ago when my baby was going through the 4 month sleep regression! I have been tuning in every day since. I'm so happy that I could donate, and wish I could give more!

[peaceinyourcrib]

good for you.
i sense healing all over you.
wish i knew you IRL.
you are a healthy safe soul.

[Portlairge]

Hurray-Now get that donate button out on the side bar so that it's there all the time.

[meggiemoo]

Just donated (after 10 minutes trying to remember my Paypal info). Please do ask for this on a regular basis...I spent far more on what I just gave you on useless parenting books that made me feel worthless.

[amy]

Also? Please don't take this down after only two days. Kthx.

[bella.spruce]

Moxie,

I have you to thank for the very good, safe birth of my son using JJB midwifery. (I've been meaning to thank you for pointing me in their direction for eons.) And then you to thank again for managing a resource like this, which I turn to all the time. Thanks, thanks, thanks. I'd love to see you make a living of this.

[Lisa F.]

Thanks Moxie!

[Kelly]

Moxie, could you please add a tip button, or something like it? I need to donate, I need a way to say thank you for all the help and support you've given me, but won't have the extra money until I get my bonus in October.

[rudyinparis]

Just donated--happily. Thanks for giving us the opportunity to do so.

[Coley]

Moxie,
I hope you'll keep the donate button available for a little while. We're busted right now, but next month, I'd love to donate. This site has made my first-time-mommyness so much easier. I appreciate your level-headed advice and compassion so so so so much. This goes double for all the amazing commenters here.

[Bella]

Moxie,
I just tried to donate but I'm from Canada and there's no option to put my province in the "state" section. Am I missing something? I can't put in my full billing address. Is there a way to get around this? I really, really would love to say thanks so very much in some concrete way and I love this idea.

[jordan 8]

Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?"

-Ben Franklin

[queen size memory foam mattress]

I have a five month old scratcher too. Ped said it was probably just "exploring his head". :)