How did summer end so fast?

Whoa, whoa, whoa! How did it get to be Labor Day weekend?

This week has been pretty much a wash here on Ask Moxie. And I'm feeling like a bad mother (shut you mouth!) because I just now, 3 minutes ago, ordered my older son's backpack and lunchbox for school this year, which starts on Tuesday. (Yankees, natch)

Quick report in on the Laptop Lunchbox system I got last year: I love love loved it. My son liked all the little compartments. But he didn't like that the lunchbox didn't have a strap for carrying. And he also didn't like that there wasn't some licensed character on the lunchbox. (Because lunch without Lightning McQueen or Derek Jeter is worse than no lunch at all, apparently.) So I ended up using the little containers with lids inside his soft-sided lunchbox.

The number of things I have to do is astronomical, with the kids, at work, with the apartment (which is getting there slowly but surely), church, professionally, personally. It's kind of mind-blowing. I should feel exhausted, but instead I'm kind of looking forward to all of it. Is this what it's like to be happy with where I am, mostly?

I'd like to remind New Yorkers (or metro New York-area people) that we're meeting up NEXT weekend, on Sunday, September 7, at noon, in Central Park. I've described the location (just to the west of the roller bladers) extensively here. Come with or without kids, and bring whatever you want them to eat. It's a spot pretty near bathrooms, and we'll have background music courtesy of the roller bladers.

Tuesday's post is going to be about making friends with other parents at preschool, and then we'll have more on sleep, teaching toddlers not to hit dogs, and other fun topics for the rest of the week.

Sigh. What do you all have cooking? Good, bad, ugly?

Comments

[meggiemoo]

1. cooking a baby (morning sickness is kicking my ASS)

2. planning to get out of the rat race in the next year (sell possessions, move to caribbean, do freelance work)

3. trying to expose DH to enough beach and sun time now to stave off the inevitable fall/winter depression he goes through every year (see #2)

I feel like the effort required to just keep the wheels turning in everyday life is enormous. Trying to do anything different than the status quo feels like pushing a boulder up a very steep hill.

[effective nancy]

We will shortly be hauling three generations to a bar mitzvah in an adjoining state, 3 hours away. It'll be Tinkerbell's first time out of state, her first time in a hotel, her first time in a car for that long.

PLUS, my husband got slammed at work overnight and is going to come home in a foul mood (can't blame him, and bless the man, he has already apologized by e-mail). I think us girls will ride with my parents and let Mick come up separately, much as I hate spending two nights away from him, because he clearly needs recharge time. We are both introverts, and I can fully understand how spending a weekend with my boisterous family will be challenging for him, as even I am a bit worried.

PLUS Tink and I are both battling a cold, and we hit the ped this morning just to rule out something else. AND we're sleep training through the rotten horrible 9-month sleep blehs (9 months on 9/9!). Welcome, dear me, to motherhood. At least I know where we all stand, which is more than I can say for most days.

[Jac]

This is my first week back at work after a year mat leave (I know, I know, lucky Canadians!). And I am happy. Soooooo happy. I'm tired and it's long days. But, to rip off Jerry McGuire, work completes me. And now I know. I just wanted to share some happiness. I think it makes a huge difference that we found a nanny that we love (and we sure are paying a lot for her). But to get up, and dress snazzy, and be around grown-ups working exciting deals all day, and then to go home to a happy little boy who wants nothing more than to hang out with me in the evening. The best. I have finally, FINALLY, achieved something of the picture of my life I imagined before the baby arrived.

[caramama]

I'm am super excited for the DC Area meet up tomorrow night! If you haven't already replied on my blog, please do and let me know you are coming!

Other than that, helping an aunt move and doing projects around the house.

My big news is that we are trying for number 2, which means starting back up fertility treatments. I'm a bunch of mixed feelings on that, but mostly positive.

@Moxie - I can't wait to read about teaching toddlers not to hit dogs. Can you throw in something about being gentle with cats, too?

@meggiemoo - I'm really jealous of your moving to the carribean. I also suffer from SAD and am dreading the coming fall/winter already.

[enu]

I finished my cancer treatment yesterday, and now I am planning to get on with the rest of my life.

We need to get our little one through the college app process and senior year, and then figure out what life in the empty nest will be like.

I need to try to re-ramp up my career now that (I hope) the hospital won't be always cutting into my time and energy.

[Moxie]

@Effective Nancy, could you maybe just wait out the 9-month sleep regression before you sleep train? I just hate to see people setting themselves up for failure or at least a tougher time than they'd have to.

@meggiemoo: Caribbean?! Wow.

@Jac: Awesome! And just more evidence for my theory that if the US had longer maternity leave fewer women would end up leaving full-time paid work, because it would be enough time and they'd be ready to go back.

@caramama: Return of fertility treatments = bad, but another baby = good. I hope it happens quickly for you.

[Moxie]

Yay, enu! A! K! K! K! I! I! I! N! No more cancer treatments!

[SarcastiCarrie]

@caramama - Congrats on getting back on the roller coaster. It's a, uhhh, fun ride the second time around because the stakes seem so much lower (caveat caveat love 2nd child just as much blah blah blah).

Cooking here? Baby #2 on the way, already 28 weeks, placenta previa, pelvic rest.

3 year old about whom I fantasized sending AskMoxie an email with subject line "Wanted: Patient Gypsies Willing to Take 3-Year Old (for Long Weekend)". When, exactly, do kids learn that when you are given a choice, and you make a decision (I'd like a bath), that 10 seconds after the tub is filled you cannot change your mind and demand a shower? The saying is you can't un-ring a bell. Well, the same is true for "closing" a banana back up.

[andrea2]

Hmm what do I have cooking?
Heading to NYC this weekend to hang out with the in-laws, where we will continue hiding the fact that I'm 15weeks pregnant (not showing yet, thank god - we dont want to tell anyone until we know the sex, just because we can), and receive lots of "advice" from my MIL about how to "fix" my son's GI problems (even though no doctor seems to be able to figure it out, MIL knows ALL the answers, clearly) and listen to her tell me how we're needlessly medicating him and its the meds that are makig him sick (because that really makes sense, right?). Wow, apparently I have some frustration issues with my MIL. Other than that, we will eat yummy pizza and take the little monster somewhere fun (maybe Bronx zoo, or Coney Island... depending on the weather)

[Brooke]

Taking last trip back "home" before this kid is born. 34 weeks on Sunday! How did that happen? It will be good to see friends and family, but I think I need a long weekend at home too.

2.5 year-old constantly testing limits-throwing food, spitting food out, hitting, biting!, generally whining.

Need to figure out when/how we are getting another dresser and a new crib, then finish unpacking and setting up for another child.

Recovering from a cold.

Need to find sibling doula stat.

Busy, but doing okay. Still surprised at how quickly I get tired.

Go enu! That's great news.

[Jac]

I agree that if US had longer mat leaves it might help the return to work issue. I'm loving it now but I know it would have been completely inconceivable to me in the first six months or so. A year was long enough to make me actually want to return.

[hedra]

The list is endless but nowhere near as powerful as either enu or caramama have going. and SarcastiCarrie, sorry about the previa. Sucky.

Working on homework planning with G - serious load of work.

Strangely, nothing major with B - he's rolled right into 1st like it was old hat. Cool. Waiting for other shoe to drop, though.

Prepping for first day of school next week for M and R.

Prepping for Montessori in the Home presentation for M+R's school, to a much bigger audience than last time. erk.

Continuing to support epeepunk's ARE studying. And his stressful work life, too. When the economy sucks, both our careers are ones that tend to take the hit first and develop into new jobs last on recovery (in our respective industries, anyway). Good planning, there. Oy.

Trying to move the house de-clutter ahead, my mom will cover babysitting fees while I sort into the trash/keep/donate boxes.

Starting a website, information center thing for parenting. - actually have to credit Moxie for poking me and saying that a blog just didn't seem to fit for what I needed to do. And also for giving me one of the ideas for a name. NOT duplicating Moxie, though - plan to send people here for advice. More resource center. Scares me half to death some days, lights me up other days.

Meetup in DC with caramama - SOOOooooo looking forward to this.

Meetup with Moxie in NYC - Ditto.

Figuring out the pickup schedules for 3 schools, plus fencing lessons (G), plus work (if I have work).

Trying to find a paying job. Current job is on its last legs, was extended again for another month two weeks from my end date (but training is at the end of Sept, so ... like they're going to keep me much past then? Maybe I can roll into a job with the company that bought the building...). Market sucks, so while I've had two pings in the last week, neither is looking super hopeful. Haven't even heard back from the headhunter I met with. Sigh. Default backup jobs starting to look more appealing. Ish.

Planning to meet up with my fribling sister and my mom to let my mom degass about her meeting with a local candidate (he had been pretty solidly anti-gay-marriage, and she spoke with him at an event, sufficient to move him to hug her - twice - and then he tracked her down again later, which involved some work on his part, and asked her to come meet with him to talk about the topic, as he was feeling maybe he wasn't on the right side of the line. WOO! Mom rocks. But she'll need to brag/grouse/release after that... this will be a beer event.)

[Toni]

Just realized that the antibioics didn't work and I probably still have Lyme disease. That would explain my terrible tiredness, mood changes, continued joint pain, etc. But that means delaying getting pregnant. After all these fertility issues, I can't face actually using protection again. First, I have to find a doctor who will help me...
The good news: the little one likes his new daycare, likes it even more now that we get to take the metro to commute. Metros are nearly as cool as firetrucks and bulldozers in our house. :)

[Kate]

How about a post on teaching toddlers not to bash their sisters in the head with heavy objects (unprovoked! not in self defense! AUGH!)?

Anyway. My kids slept more last night than they have probably ever, thanks to two very active days and not enough napping for the little one. Before they got up I had gone to the gym, showered, eaten breakfast, and cooked the rest of my shabbat meals.

So WHY WHY WHY are they so cranky? I am so confused! Not sick, not really tired (nap was refused), just CRAAAAANKY. Must get outside. Soon. (But what about nap?! The angst!)

Or fire up PBS Kids so I can make plum cake.

[Kate]

Oh! But my 4 yo has basically figured out how to read. It's all sight vocab and filling in things based on context. My husband is, to borrow a British expression, gobsmacked over this.

But I apparently did exactly the same thing at the same age, so I am taking it in stride. I am leaving her a note in her bed every morning. It's fun :-)

[flea]

Great news, enu.

@SarcastiCarrie, just turned five still cannot deal with un-ringing the bell sometimes, although sometimes she gets it.

On my plate:
-in-laws coming to town today

-our first SEC football weekend (home game of #1 team - I have no idea what to expect but am told traffic, traffic, traffic)

-Casper turned 5 yesterday and so far this does not seem to have magically delivered her to a place of light, rationality, and listening to her mother (did people lie to me about 5?)

-I really need to night-wean Dillo and prep for weaning entirely (at 25+ months he may not want it but I am so ready).

[Nutmeg]

Hooray for no more cancer treatments.

Toni, try to find and infectious diseases physician. My husband is one but surely we don't live near you. Improperly or delayed treatment for lyme might mean a 4 week course of IV Abx, but then it would be done. Also, he always recommends testing for all the other tick borne viruses, because they can have similar symptoms and might require slightly different treatments. I hear it constantly because of where we live and what I do (field research).

What do I have cooking:

-3rd Failed field season of PhD. Taking this in stride, trying to get myself some funding for following years as the Forest Service funding is disappearing since FS fights forest fires and this year was expensive.

-Realizing my major depressive disorder is swinging in to action and all the things I'm doing right (eating right, exercising regularly, being outside in the sunshine, sleeping okay, dealing with my stress in a healthy way) aren't cutting it and it might be time for meds.

-Husband NEVER home. Didn't plan on single parenting with an extra load of laundry.

-Considering pursuing some evaluations for the bubs regarding maybe some sensory integration problems.

-Dealing with 5 am wake up time after CONSTANT night waking in a 21 month old.

Things are MOSTLY bad here... but that might just be my perspective. The bub is a difficult kid, but he IS very funny. That's nice.

[Cathy]

Cancelled a weekend trip to see my sister, the nephews and Grandma-Grandma Toothfairy (and Grandpa) - the baby has strep throat(turns out the diaper rash she has is probably strep too) Exposing my younger nephew to strep is still a risk because of his little ticker - born with ASD and VSD murmurs.

La *loves* kindergarten. Except for the part where she has to find where her class is lining up in the morning in the activities center. That freaks her right out. But except for that, it's good.

The Monkey seems to enjoy high school. On the plus side - he gathered information about an audition for Hamlet. On the minus side, I looked through his backpack and found the school picture packet that he claimed to have not recieived (revising his story to claim that he hadn't read), and also found that only one of his folders had a paper in it, that one of his spirals had notes for English and math in it. On the plus side again, he had some notes (compared to no notes last year) and when directed to do so, he fixed it up to a reasonable level.

La was my wardrobe decider today, and I am wearing the elementary school spirit t-shirt. So is she. We must have been quite a sight walking to school together.

Can't wait to go home and see the little monkey baby. The husband stayed home with her today.

[professor mama]

What's cooking here in the South:

First day of sunshine in a week (good).
DS#1 has either the croup or asthma (bad) -- has to do nebulizer treatments every two hours, even at night, but DS#2 is going through his 4-month sleep regression, so I'm up anyway (also bad).
My colleagues send me clueless emails saying, "You're so lucky to be on family leave this semester!" My out-of-the-home cushy job in academia is MUCH MUCH easier than my "work" as a mama this past week!

[Shannon]

What's going on with me is that I am happier now than I have been for about 2 years. KNOCK ON WOOD! Child is 18 months and seriously has just become enjoyable in the last two weeks. So, just to throw a wrench in things, I went back on Weight Watchers. I want to lose 50 pounds, and maybe if I get that in writing I'll have a better chance of actually doing it.

I have always liked fall. Growing up in a family of teachers, and then being a student and later a teacher myself, I kind of liked the return to the routine. Now I have one of those year-round jobs in an office, and my son is too young to attend school, but my husband is a professor so we still feel the change in attitude that back-to-school brings. All summer long I dread the fall, but when it hits, I am ready. I'm hoping I'll feel that way about winter in a couple of months, because I'm seriously worried that my depression will return in the winter months.

[Maura]

@Enu - fantastic! Here's hoping for many, many, many chemo free years ahead.

Cooking here at our house:
Two and a half year old son has settled into daycare nicely. Goes to visit the baby room every morning, which would be cuter if he were there to visit the actual babies, instead of just play with their stuff.

First week of the last semester of traditional classroom coursework in my life is complete. Feeling somewhat competent, but completely unprepared. Don't remember anything from the first two years of school and am pretty sure that I'm going to do some serious damage the first time I'm unleashed on the unsuspecting animal population.

Trying to schedule my year and a half worth of clinical clerkships without knowing when/if I'll be pregnant. Don't really want to be doing lots of work with sick and/or combative horses while pregnant, but really don't want to wait until after graduation to have the next baby.

Overall feelings: conflicted.

[Jan]

On my plate:

Houseguests (mom in the midst of a messy divorce-due-to-violence and her 2-year-old son) for a couple of months. At our invitation, but still adding to the chaos around here.

Hubby finally got into a support group (for the PTSD), which yay, great! but it now means he's processing a lot, which means a dramatic increase in the distressing-to-me episodes. Some days I feel like a nervous breakdown would be a small price to pay for a little time by myself in an institution.

The good news is that I got myself prescribed a C-PAP machine (for sleep apnea) a few weeks ago, and WOW do I feel like a new woman. I haven't fallen asleep at a stoplight in weeks, and I'm not spending 7 out of the 8 hours at work trying desperately to get my addled brain back on task.

[Sherry]

Yay, Enu! Others, I feel your pain. Shannon, I always pictured you skinny. Weird. What's cooking with me? Mostly working on the marriage. Should be a good weekend.

[MelanieTM]

Ha, ha! Meggiemoo, I'm leaving the Caribbean (sort of - I'm in The Bahamas which is not technically the Caribbbean) and we're getting ready to move to the U.S. because after 5 and half years I can't take it anymore. Horrible, horrible crime rates, ridiculous prices for everything, an economy that is plummeting like you wouldn't believe, and an 18 month old that really needs her extended family means we are packing it up and getting the hell out of dodge.

[Julie]

What do I have going on???
-opening up my classroom after 4 years of being out
-selling our house/buying a new one
-growing a baby (another boy!!!)
-helping my son with the tranistion from Grandma's house every day to preschool every day
-figuring out how to hide my pregnancy for the first week of school so my students' parents can get to know me and my classroom before learning I'll be out for 9 weeks in Feb/March (I plan to let them know the first Friday back, but wanted a little bit of "get-to-know-you" first)

And dealing with some major anxiety with my son surrounding all the above transitions for him, which is making him not want to leave the house without crying. Literally.

[Moxie]

Jan! The C-PAP machine is going to change your life. We call my dad's the Darth Vader mask. My uncle's took him from crotchety arse to interesting funny guy in two weeks.

[sam]

Am also worrying about the autumn/winter as the nights draw in. I have so much more energy in the summer. The winter, with its short-arse hours of daylight makes me miserable.

LO has had her induction sessions at nursery this week in prep for me going back to work part time in Sept. She has been super-super clingy ever since. She didn't get too upset whilst she was there, but she can't bear to let me out of her sight now. Am feeling really guilty. My happy, confident baby has seemingly become unsure of the world. I know they need to time to settle in, but oh....! the heartache!

Plus! Really want to get weaning under way. I'm not going to start until she has settled into her 3 mornings a week at nursery but I'm really looking forward to not having to breastfeed constantly!

[meggiemoo]

@ MelanieTM...I understand what you're saying. We're looking pretty seriously at St. Maarten and also Montserrat.

I think it'll be a temporary move to begin with. If it doesn't work out, we'll move back as well. Just need to get out of this climate and away from our noncreative office jobs. Need a b-i-i-g change!

[Joye]

" Some days I feel like a nervous breakdown would be a small price to pay for a little time by myself in an institution."

Wow, I've been an avid lurker for months now but I had to say here! here! to Maura on that line. Though I am in constant awe of my 13 month old son and his ever growing vocabulary and mobility( he said birdie and buddha clearly yesterday- he is working through the b's at a rapid clip) I find myself longing for a soft bed in one of those sleep cure clinics in Switzerland.
I turned 30 on wednesday and I could not help but think that all I wanted for my birthday was to find a small dark nook to curl up in like I did as a child. To just let the world go on without me for awhile and daydream away.
That is what I miss the most now that I am a mother. The privilege of feeling dreamy.

In lieu of that, I will just continue to be comforted by the fact that all of you are in it too.

[Sharon aka Mommie Mentor]

Congratulations Enu!!! That's a milestone worthy celebrating.
One of my brothers-in-law is having his second cancer treatment today! And my son leaves for his new life in New Zealand next week.
Jan, Moxie is right, my other brother-in-law uses the C-Papa and went from having all kinds of body aches and pains to feeling great. It's a sweet and sad last weekend for us—enjoy yours it goes very fast.

[Simone]

Happily looking forward to the start of the new school year. (I am a sucker for routines...)

Also, we're feeling quite relaxed now that we've made a [somewhat] painful decision not to send our son to Kindergarten this year. So we're cooking up another year of preschool.

And, I'm looking forward to spending some one-on-one time with the little one.

Then, sadly, I start student-teaching in January. I'm dreading it.

[hush]

@Joye - Glad you delurked. Come on in the water's fine!

@Jan - Wow, I hope everything goes safely and smoothly for your mom & brother during this transition. That's a lot to deal with & I hope you're holding up ok/getting the support you also need.

On the agenda in hushville this weekend: I'm trying sooo hard to get along with DH, who came home from work last night after a bad day and bit my head off, which reminded me a little too much of my own childhood with my rageholic mommy dearest. So I ran away for 2 hours to a KFC buffet with a magazine. Good times.

We recently moved into a new place, new town, and I'm now a SAHM for the first time in my life. I like it a lot more than I expected. But without a place to show up to work everyday and rub elbows with new people, I'm trying hard to get out & make friends. Hubby's worry about how un-decorated our home is - really starting to grate on me. I'll get to it when I get to it, buddy!

[Lisa F.]

@Enu, great news!
Shannon, glad you're feeling better! I hear you about worries re: depression & winter.

here, I am
-dealing w/DH having time off after 3 weeks of hellschedule, and rough transition. he's working all weekend but was off yesterday & today.

-we're all worn out from crappy schedule, I'm pms-ing like craaaaaaazy, and having single mama fantasies (conversation about having to manage dh & our dynamics as more stressful than when I'm doing all parenting really resonated. I am SICK of us being home together & having to ASK him to pay attention to/engage w/ds or be proactive w/taking care of DS instead of just leaving it to me.)

-DS starts preschool 3x/week next week. we've had playdates there the last 3 weeks to help him acclimate. he's excited I'm excited. trying not to get too excited just in case something falls through and it doesn't work.

-DS may have been exposed to chicken pox. he's had what I thought were mosquito bites pop up even when he hasn't been around mosquito. I'm not sure the spots are really breaking & crusting over, but he has been mildly feverish, tummy aches, loss of appetite & tired. guess I should get him to doc & check except I do.not.like.them and haven't found new doc yet. feh.

-put out a feeler on a freelance editing job. am totally freaked out that I did this. my name & info being passed on to friend of former co-worker of DH who works for company. I'm to contact. do not have resume, need to talk to references. do I really have time/energy for this? will it give me energy? why on earth would I feel the need to add something to my plate JUST when pre-school will give me a break to (hopefully) get some exercise, organize meals/shopping?????

-going to art/music event in our town this evening as family. huge puppet thingy in outdoor venue tomorrow night. bday party on monday. menstruation impending.

[Cloud]

@Jac, Moxie- I have always said that I think 6 months would be the perfect maternity leave for me, or maybe 4 months followed by 2-3 months of part time to ease back in. 6 weeks is laughable- I was barely coherent at 6 weeks. 3 months was doable, but I was significantly helped by going back part time for one month and not having to deal with day care for two months (thank you Hubby and parents). One year would have been too long for me, I think, particularly given the hell that was the 9 month sleep regression/won't nap unless in motion or at day care period.

@Enu- great news!

@caramama- good luck (I think I left a comment to that effect yesterday, but may also have forgotten to post before closing my browser)

@Shannon- good news, and good luck with weight watchers. I've seen some friends get terrific results with them.

Stuff on my plate right now is nothing big- Hubby and I are thinking about getting a cleaning service. He agrees we aren't keeping up, but is concerned by the cost, because... we are thinking ahead to when we might have a second baby. I work in a volatile industry and have reason to think my job might be particularly vulnerable at about the time I'd be 6-7 months preggo if we went with our preferred timing. We're taking a hard look at our finances and our savings buffer (I've always worked in a volatile industry, so we've always had this) and are trying to decide just how long we could afford for me to be out of work if I was laid off while so hugely pregnant that job hunting would be a waste of time. We're extremely fortunate to both have good jobs, but I still grumble about the extra job stress that comes with being the one who has to get pregnant!

And I'm still working and trying to keep up with my 17 month old, too, of course.

[Sarah]

What's cooking...
An end to the week of boredom and laziness. The camps and activities are over, my daughter's school doesn't start until Tuesday. We have another whole week for preschool for my son. It was my daughter's birthday Monday. Our activity level has been low. Most years, I try to get us out of the house during this awful week, but this year it coincided with me being 34 weeks pregnant.

I feel ready to pop. I did not feel this way with my daughter or son at 8 months. I remember being tired and heavy, but I expected to go late for both pregnancies. After 2 c-sections, I am scheduled for a 3rd...Sept 26. That's 4 weeks! Eek! And both kids were actually 2 weeks early, so that's 3 weeks. Double Eek! And sort of a relief. Having the baby here sounds...lighter.

Our weekend will be low-key. I am hoping to get my husband or my mom to take the kids and run them ragged. We've watched too much TV this week. Not sure if it age (7 and 4) or my mood, but they don't even seem bored. This whole summer, they've been on a what do we do next? obsession. let's go! Let's Do! More more more! And this week, they don't even want to get dressed. Or play outside. I've even voluntarily taken them to the park, perhaps my least favorite mom activity. They get tired after 30 minutes. Complacent. That probably bothers me more than if they were crawling the walls. (Why am I so cranky that I can't see this as a gift?)

[Dawn]

Yay for ending cancer treatment. And for moving to the Caribbean, for that matter.

We're emerging from the 9 month sleep troubles here and getting ready for preschool to start again (yippee - I work part time from home, and that preschool time is very valuable to me).

We're also putting our house on the market, probably next week and looking for a new one. Craziness.

[Ashramama]

Hi everyone... Isn't it weird how you gradually get to 'know' people in this community, and then posts like this make it more real since you can actually envisage people going about their daily business. Makes me feel more connected, somehow.

And that connection is sorely needed - after 2 weeks of solo-parenting an inexplicably cranky toddler, I'm feeling quite isolated and actually looking forward (*i know!!*) to the peanut returning from Europe. But then we're on holiday for a week, just the three of us, in a beach hut with crappy weather on the horizon and no electricity. Here's hoping we all survive....!

@enu, congratulations!

[rudyinparis]

Jac, loved your post! So great to hear unqualified happiness/contentment.

Great news, too, Enu and great news from Caramama. Keep us posted, I'll have my fingers crossed.

I'm currently spazzing about Eldest starting preschool next Thursday, mostly worried about her bus ride back to daycare which will take nearly an hour with the bus driver as the only supervision. I'm scared for her, too, dealing with the social scene, so scared. She's an introvert and has already had girls she wanted to play with be mean to her, it breaks my heart. I just want to keep her safe and protected and never let anyone hurt her. But I know that can't be, and shouldn't be. That we need to let them get hurt, but damn, it's hard to deal with.

Here's hoping for a wonderful Fall season for all of us at Ask Moxie.

[caramama]

Thanks, everyone!

@enu - Yeah for finishing treatments!! That's awesome!

@SarcastiCarrie - Sorry aobut the placenta previa. And the 3 year old who can't commit to decisions. Urg!

@Shannon and others worried about the winter and depression - Have you looked into light therapy? It's what I've used to treat my winter depression, and it works pretty well. The lights can be a bit expensive, but it's been so worth it for me. If you want more info, you can email me through my blog.

Joye - I hear ya on that! Sometimes all I want is a nice quiet place to be alone with myself.

@Cloud - I know your industry is probably very different, but my sister got a new job offer at 8 months pregnant and my friend got a promotion at 7 months pregnant (and she was taking 6 months mat leave). So it is possible to do things with your career while pregnant.

@rudyinparis - Good luck to the Eldest, and to you. That is so scary. I don't even want to think about it yet!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

[Jill in Atlanta]

Why do I feel unliked because I can't find playmates for my kids? Why do I make it all about me when I can't get anyone to carpool with us? Why do I spend half my time wanting my kids to just go to school NOW and the other half missing them? I'm just not in a good place right now. I need other people to share my burdens and I don't know how to turn all my acquaintances into friends. I feel all alone in the crowd.

[pnuts mama]

@ enu- CONGRATS!! so happy for you- so very very happy!

@all the pregnant mamas and soon-to-be pregnant mamas- wonderful! wow! i've been so dragged down in the baby bootcamp that i've missed so much!

@rudyinparis- i kwym re: the sensitive kid, just wanting to be a friend, have fun w/ kids who are little sh*ts- some kid pretend "shot" my pnut with a toy gun and told her he killed her and she was so confused as to why "her friend" had said that- i was like, that kid is an *sshole and is not your friend. she was so sad, but still talks about the kid like they are bff's- oy.

@winter depression folks- i know, i'm getting cancer, whatever, but going to a tanning booth (don't judge me! i have a skin thing that i need the uva/b rays during the winter! told to do it by a dermatologist! esp. since i couldn't afford their version at their office- same damn thing down the road w/ all the college kiddies- anyway, judge me if you must) for just a few minutes once or twice a week has the same effect, for me, anyway. and you can wear sunscreen in the booth, btw. this statement has not been approved by the american dermatological advisory board, :snort: .

on the very full plate, good and bad-
good: wedding anniversary this weekend, some fun social things, bought carpet for the house (holy sh*t we may actually move out of sleeping in one room before the snow flies) and a new fridge, probably found a 1/2 day preschool for the pnut that we can afford, 2 days a week. i love the bean, he is a sweetie and a cutie and i love him like crazy even if i suspect that he is a tension releaser- it makes me cringe! and boy does that boy love the boob. hope he likes the bottle as much since it's coming soon so i can get things done! am starting the semester again and hoping to finish two chapters and get my sorry behind out of academic probation. lord help me. oh yes, and i just got hired to do for $ what i've been doing as a volunteer (and more) for the past 7 years. so very excited if a bit overwhelmed by it all. funny, 4 weeks ago i said to my husband "how in god's name do women go back to work at 6 weeks?" riiiiight...

bad: the pnut is deep in the pit of hell that is being three- you all warned me, i know. she won't pee on the potty, forget about pooping- fights us on everything that she used to be lovely about, and we are at our wits ends. must learn new set of skills, not having much time for that, driving us both crazy. i am getting so *angry* with her (it doesn't help that i am tired and feeling stretched thin)- she is so stubborn and defiant, and is pushing every boundary with me- i can't tell when it's normal, manipulation, let-go-able or stand-my-ground-able anymore. i know i have to be patient but oh does it fire up my anger/control issues! i actually slapped her butt- it shocked the both of us! i don't believe in corporal punishment, i know it's my own violent expression of my anger, it reviles me that i did that to her- and then we were both crying! agh! also dealing w/ personal stress of growing responsibilities of being a caretaker for the man who raised me- he can't drive anymore, is having increased episodes of confusion/memory-loss, it's sad and frustrating for all of us. again, needing better skills and patience, just praying for grace on a sometimes hourly basis!

whew. sorry that turned into a primal scream wednesday moment, there.
have a great weekend, everyone!

[N]

@Jan - I was a student teacher last spring, and was also a bit freaked out about it. It was fun! And a lot of work. But the best part is knowing I will like the work.

Now I am more freaked out, though. I got a job on Monday, started Tuesday, and school starts the day after Labor Day. Starting late meant I missed some new teacher info and I'm not sure I'm ready (teacher week is almost all meetings, and my not-quite-a-classroom is barely set up). I'll be okay as long as I remember to breathe!

We're going to the mountains this weekend with some friends, and I can't wait to get there. It will be the closest thing to a vacation I've had all summer, and after this week I already need a break.

[Joy]

@enu- yay for you and your treatments- wishing you healthy for a long time...

@Sarah- I was the same way with my third; at 34 weeks I so wanted to just have the baby already... didn't remember having that same urgent feeling with the first 2, different aches and pains, etc. I went to L&D a week early, they tested me and told me to 'go home and take it easy'. Ha! With a 6 and 4 yr. old and a daycare to run? Yeah... I don't get maternity leave and I wasn't about to waste a week off BEFORE the baby arrived. So I made them call my doctor, and let me talk to him myself, and he okayed the week- early induction. So, yeah, I know where you are. :)

@Jill in Atlanta- I have that same problem with acquaintences becoming friends. Growing up I had two BFF's and we three were inseperable for about 8 years till I moved away. Except for my husband, I've never had really close women friends, and I wonder how to make them. My family are who serve that role in my life now, and for me, I think that might be okay.

Regarding the Bahamas, and my PQotW a couple weeks ago about going on a trip with DH and writing a letter just in case the Worst should happen, I'd like to report that we had the most fabulous time, thoroughly enjoyed each other's company, the Worst did not happen, but some of the Best did. It was totally relaxing and rejuvinating (and yes, VERY expensive), and a long time coming. A big THANKS to everyone for your advice and counsel, we did end up getting our wills in order beforehand, and I think the memories will stay with me for a long time.

Other than that, school starting, birthdays, interviewing potential daycare clients, and will start trying for baby #4 this month. Dreading the cooking phase, looking forward to the swaddling.

[Joy]

Okay, forgot to proof... just realized I called my husband a close woman friend, oops! Meant to say, except for DH, I don't really have close friends right now- he's it. He's a good one, though. :)

[sueinithaca]

Oooh, I need help making friends with other parents at my daughter's preschool. Somehow, I think it does *not* involve my younger child biting one of the other siblings at the introductory playgroup, which is what happened last week.

sigh.

[Kate]

@ Jill in Atlanta. Hugs, sweetie. I was you a year ago. What was it about us that was so unlikeable?!

I followed my daughter's lead--she was obsessed with one girl from her preschool class. They didn't play together IN school, but she begged and begged for playdates out of school. This girl lives upstairs from us (super convenient), they slowly started to have playdates, and Lo and Behold! I became really good friends with her mom (we also have same aged toddlers). This is NOT someone I ever would have envisioned myself becoming friendly with, or necessarily staying friends with when we move or they move or whatever, but for RIGHT NOW it is really great. We are going to carpool to school next year (er, starting next week); we help each other out; we know the nitty gritty about the kids that even our husbands are not so interested in. In the past 24 hours: our kids played together in the backyard; I gave her some of my extra CSA plums; she gave me a 9V battery; I dropped my kids at her house for 5 minutes while I moved my car (so I didn't have to get everyone dressed and strapped in to travel 100 feet); and I supplied her with a teaspoon of cinnamon.

A friend of mine wrote a really great blog post about what she calls "The Mommy Friendship," which I used as inspiration for the relationship described above.

So I guess my advice would be to let your kids try to sniff out (as it were) their own playmates (anyone they gravitate to at the park?) and see what evolves. I know it's really hard to put yourself--and your kids--out there.

[hope]

I am very new to this site but am loving it already. We live in AUS - I am an American and my husband is Australian. We live in paradise but we are bored to tears and I miss my family and friends. Our son is one (yesterday) and it has been a tough year doing all of it on our own. But we have survived and the little one is happy and healthy so that is all we can ask.

So on our plate - trying to figure out where we REALLY want to live. We want a community where we can plant some roots and make friends and settle in. That will likely be in the USA but we are trying to find a town here. I do not work anymore and hubby works PT. We are baby baby baby all the time (i guess i need to call him a toddler now). Life is good but unsettled. We used to live in NYC and I miss it so much it makes my heart ache. I also miss who I was there - if that makes sense. In the last 18 months we have moved from London to AUS, I quit my job, had a baby, bought a house - all without a friend or family member in sight. I am a little saddened by it all.

[AmyinTexas]

In an effort to be positive, I'll post the good stuff first:

...

Yeah, can't think of anything. The bad:

1) 15 mo old is a TERROR!!!! He's my worst child yet. Never sits still. Screams at the top of his lungs when he wants something (please, in the name of all things powerful in the universe let this boy get some language by Monday!). Willfully disobeys (as in, sits in front of the cat bowl until he know you are looking and then proceeds to dump it on the floor. Blinks not as you sternly say, "NO" and redirect him. Rinse and repeat ad nauseum). I just can't take him for one more second.

2) Kids start school next week, and we've had the laziest summer ever, so I fear that both will be bumped back a grade b/c it seems everything they learned last year is gone.

3)Anyone got anything on 8 yr old boys who can't tie shoes or ride a bike? We've got major motor skills issues over here. Thought he'd just "get" all of this... but I'm getting worried.

4)I think I've got a migraine. Never really had them before... but this headache is suspiciously like the ones my mother describes.

5)I need a vacation to a Caribbean island by myself. Meggiemoo, I hope you're planning a guest bedroom.

There's so much more... but I'll stop there.

[AmyinTexas]

Oh, and meant to add...

Anyone here in the Houston area? Why should the New Yorkers and DCers have all the fun? We could have a meet-up too!

[Rosemary]

@enu - Cool bananas! Wonderful news.

To everyone with children starting daycare / childcare / pre-school: it does get better, and most kids settle down well. If they don't, then you will find a way to handle it. I know. Been there, done that, got the sunburn.

Well, I'm coming at it from the opposite end. This week in Melbourne, the weather has been warmer (finally) and spring will be here soon. Yay! Love spring in this city.

This weekend we have swimming and Gymbaroo and then while the 2.5 year old is asleep, my husband and I are, well, you know, maybe, if I feel like it, if the moons are aligned, we might celibrate "Festival of the Dancing Blankets" (If you know what I mean?)

But the hard part of the weekend is sitting down together AFTER that, and working out how we are going to handle an eight month deployment for hubby, move to another city while he's gone, fertility treaments, new childcare centre, saying goodbye to all that is familiar (including Daddy) and trying to keep connected while he is gone. Just how do you prepare a 2 year old that Daddy will leave from this house, come back to a new one, that he will be gone for a long time, and how do I handle that I know that there is a chance that he might not come back at all but I really don't want to tell the two year old that, but I don't want to make promises I can't keep.

Other than that, we are all really happy and I love what my life is and has become. And I'm sitting in my quiet house on Saturday morning feeling really proud of myself that despite all the stress, I can still find my joy.

Oh, and has anyone heard from Paola in Italy?