PQotW: Smuggling coffee into a hospital

This Philosophical Question of the Week is for Neil:

Your friend is in the hospital for a few days for a chronic condition that's serious but not life-threatening, and has nothing to do with short-term nutrition. The coffee and food at the hospital are so bad that he's starting to get depressed. Do you smuggling him in some better food and coffee? The doctors have disallowed it, but he's allowed to drink the hospital coffee and eat that food, so there's no health reason for him not to have a decent cup.

What would you do?

Comments

[nire nire]

Yes!!

[paola]

Sounds illogical that the patient is allowed to drink something that is found in the hospital, but you can not bring the same 'something' in to the hospital. I would say this has to do with hospital politics and therefore would gladly bring him in a whole ton of the stuff.

[Joy]

Totally sneak him some food and coffee!!

Full Disclosure: I was reprimanded by my nurse post- partum because my (very large) extended family had come to visit the night before, see the baby, and brought along a case of beer because college football was on and boy did it ever taste good. We were totally quiet and low- key, but the janitorial staff who changed the garbage can the next morning ratted me out.

[amberjee]

smuggle away. hospital food is so terrible, you'd be better off getting something from outside.

[MrsHaley]

YES! DO IT! My parents smuggled in sushi and tuna fish sandwiches while I was in the hospital with hyperemesis. Calories are calories!

[Shandra]

I think would pretend I had never heard of this rule. I mean seriously, does the doctor come and explain why? Is there a sign posted over his bed?

[parisienne mais presque]

Oh, absolutely, go for it. I think most hospital coffee is a health hazard, anyway.

Ignoring ridiculous rules is the French national sport, and after five years in Paris, it almost seems natural to me.

(The other national sport is imposing ridiculous rules. Hey, it keeps us all busy.)

[Cobblestone]

Nurses often have to document input/output so if you smuggle in coffee then there is 20oz {or whatever} that doesn't get counted and skews the perception about how the patient is doing.

[Alice in Wonderland]

Smuggle in the coffee. If necessary, get an official hospital coffee, pour it down the sink, and put the real coffee in the same cup. (This would also resolve the record-keeping issue that Cobblestone brings up.)

[Joy]

Okay, so have a 20 oz. cup of coffee, and make sure to dispose of corresponding amount of hospital coffee into the sink or something?? Also, maybe the caffiene is an issue? Is hospital coffee brewed in a certain way so as to regulate caffiene intake? Do they give the doctors who are on call for hours on end different coffee? Maybe ask the doctor to elaborate a little more on the diet restrictions, instead of just issuing a broad, general decree from on high or whatever. You're in the hospital, not in prison, right?

[d]

Do it, but with care towards others allergies etc - hospitals arent the place to start eating peanut butter, shellfish etc as those poor guys with their allergies and lowered immune systems probably couldnt take the hurt! No strong smells etc. The hospital probably just wants to control risk of course, but god, what is it about their food that makes it always taste so bad? I worked in a hospital and they put a lot of effort into planning, making etc and they still ruin it!

[hedra]

Voting with the smuggle here. Serious family history of bypassing the hospital rules on food if they're not related to health, safety, or nutrition:

1) My mom snuck candy bars into the L&D room in her purse. They didn't allow food or drink during or AFTER labor (for four hours after labor). My mom knew better (me being child six).

2) My mom snuck a huge triple-everything pizza into my sister's room, after having been told it looked like my sister might not survive the infection she had (she was in her 20's). Both a nurse and a doctor said it was not allowed, she could not have that, period. My mom just kept asking them if it would hurt her, presuming she could swallow it. They kept saying, 'No, it won't hurt her, *but*...' but mom never let them off the hook. They finally said, 'Yes, okay, if she can swallow it, she can eat it.' Done, and my sister started an astonishing recovery that night. Whether she needed to see her mom fight for her for just something she 'wanted' - but didn't 'need', or if it was 'real food' that helped turn it around (she only managed to eat a few bites...), no knowing.

Overall, we're generally less prone to sneaking, more prone to putting feet down or working quite pleasantly with the staff to find a workaround. I've been able to get exclusions just by asking - and a little kindness tossed to the nursing station never hurts - they work their butts off, and get little reward. A big basket of bagels with fixings and some nice hand lotion help find a lot of perfectly big (and sometimes rather well-trod) loopholes in the rules.

[Mel]

Sumggle!

Studies have shown that when a sick person has been given good, freshly made food they feel mentally and physically better which promotes healing.

There was a study in a small hospital here in Canada (can't remember which province off the top of my head, but it was one of the Maritime ones)that looked at patient healing times when they were given freshly made meals...go figure people got better faster with the well made with fresh ingredients food than those who ate the standard Hospital food.

[Chaosgirl]

Do it. DO IT!

Hospitals disallow outside food & drink mostly because they want all patients to be on a standardized diet; in case things go wrong, they know exactly what went in to the patient. Given what Hedra posted, however, I suspect that eating hospital food might be a more concerning liability!!

[Andromeda]

I lost about 25 pounds the week I was in the hospital (labor/c-section/recovery), and I figure at most half of that was the baby (+amniotic fluid +placenta). The rest was the hospital food being that bad. When I got home and my parents brought me barbecue, I almost cried. Smuggle away.

[Nic]

I am a physician. I work in a hospital. I may be the lone "no" vote here. Smuggling things in is not going to endear you (or your friend) to the hospital staff. Instead, I would push the medical staff and the nursing staff about why, as Hedra suggests. In my hospital they have a Starbucks now, and we let our patients have that freely, so I think this is likely a holdover from some old policy and when pushed, they will allow outside beverages....food can be dicier. The patient may be on a salt, potassium or sugar restricted diet (among others), which outside food cannot be assessed for. They may also be doing a strict "ins and outs" measurement, so you don't want to drink something or eat something and not tell the staff. This restriction they are placing may not about medical/legal stuff, by the way, but about medical management of illnesses that are sensitive to diets. (Then again, it may just be a foolish policy.) Since we know nothing about Neil's friend's condition, I think it is not wise to assume that any food will be ok and give him carte blanche to smuggle stuff in. Lastly, most wards have a dietitian and a nurse manager who can be good sources for information about food policy.

[caramama]

I was totally going to chant "do it! do it!" but hedra and Nic make so much sense. Sigh...

So I'm going with their option of talking with the staff and trying to figure out the reason behind the restrictions and ways to get around it. I always believe that you get more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Could you look up those studies people referred to about how real food helps healing? Could you talk with the hospital dietitian to discuss what you want to bring in and why?

If the reasons don't sound real plausible and it's just a one time thing, I think you should then go ahead and smuggle food in! hehe.

[twinsanity]

I'd push to find out WHY as well. I was in the hospital for bedrest for several weeks during my pregnancy. My hospital allowed/encouraged food and drink from home and supplied mini fridges and microwaves in every antenatal room for that purpose, despite decent hospital food and an open policy on ordering anything we wanted, including special requests. So find out if this is a random hospital policy or just for the friend and if for just the friend then the WHY is important and I would demand a detailed explanation before smuggling.

[RBee]

Unless there is a real medical reason. . .even then, I might find out what it is, take it into account, then ask for forgiveness rather than permission (smuggle in something 'allowed' by the restriction, then disclose).
Just read a quote from Dr Weil that he dreams of the day when hospital food is actually healthy. A lot of it comes from cans or is overcooked; a lot of nutrition heated out of it, or has added preservatives. It may be "dietarily correct" (as in balanced by a dietician), but that doesn't make hospital food actually healthy. I agree with d above--hospital kitchens seem to manage to ruin perfectly good, balanced meals.

[Allison]

Yes, I would, and have!

[hydrogeek]

I have snuck stuff in to a hospital before, when it was obvious after questioning it was just a dumb policy. I have also refused to sneak stuff in before, in the case of my grandfather who was hospitalized for his heart condition begging for salt. It broke my heart, but a sodium restriction on a heart patient is not a dumb policy, so no sneaking. I'm at a loss why a hospital would ban all outside food a drink. I made my husband go straight to Hooters after I had my daughter and get me some hot wings! The hospital was fine with it, and my breastfed daughter now will eat hot sauce with a spoon! (Thereby not even anecdotally proving that kids getting certain flavors through breastmilk are more likely to eat them later. Still, it's a story I like to tell.)

[Jojo]

Interesting. There were no restrictions against outside food when I was in for delivery. Obviously, I wasn't eating before I deliverd, but after, plently of people brought me food. In fact, I was eating Wendy's duirng one of my interviews with a nurse. It never crossed my mind to even ask if it was ok.

[Tara]

I'd smuggle without guilt or reservation.

[attiton]

I agree with those who say that you should first have a heart-to-heart with the nurses. I'm not sure bribing is necessary, is it? Kindness often works

If they still say no, just replace the hospital's coffee with the real stuff on a one-for-one basis.

[Jan]

No time to read other comments, but I say no on the food for sure. I'd clarify about the coffee -- that doesn't seem right to me, unless what you're bringing in is straight shots of espresso or something unusual.

I guess I'm just a rule-follower at heart. There are plenty of them that are a pain in the ass, but they are usually there for a reason ...

[Brooke]

Not to be a total cynic, but it's possible it's policy because they have a contract with whoever provides the food in the cafeteria.

[hedra]

Heh on the bribing. I'm not thinking of it as bribery, really, but as a concrete expression of gratitude. Gratitude and thanks can also grease plenty of wheels without any physical objects needed - and outright bribery that smells at all of bribery may back.fire. badly.

It did come across as me advocating bribery, though, I'll admit. It was intended as a kindness (specifically those options, as a) finding time to eat something while on duty is HARD for many on the nursing staff - bagels allow both a leisurely break and a quick grab and run, and b) hand washing is constant and skin is damaged by this, so hand lotion - not too smelly, or a variety - can be a pleasure for them as well as a real help).

I try to start from the position of gratitude (not obsequiousness, just gratitude), and then ask for what I need.

[m]

Absolutely.

[Shannon]

If his health took a turn for the worse, I would freak out that it was my fault for the food I brought in. I mean, we've all seen the Junior Mint episode of Seinfeld.

[Las Vega Hotel]

Listen to a Nike commercial and "Just Do It". The food in most hospitals is pretty bad and the coffee is really horrible. The best way to heal someone is to give them food to keep them strong. Only good food will keep them strong and give them the positive mind set to get out of there quicker. So YES bring them food and coffee and get them out of there quicker.

[midlife mommy]

I would definitely smuggle it in under those circumstances. If you can drink hospital coffee, then the doctor who tells you that you can't have Starbucks is just being a jerk.

[Katie]

If I can confirm it's just a dumb policy, bring on the Starbucks!!!

[JB]

Policies exist both for good and not-good reasons. But I spent a long time in the hospital on bed rest trying to keep my son from being born, and I'd have starved -- really -- rather than eat hospital food. My husband went to the local deli every day and brought me fresh soups, salads, sandwiches. I survived. But I really wasn't in there because of allergies, nutritional problems, gut problems, cardiovascular issues, or a host of other things. Make sure you're right, then go ahead.

[kt]

I think it depends on if it is the patients doctor with the rule, or the hospital. I'd push for a medical explanation before deciding whether or not to smuggle.

If it's the doctor's rule, you'll probably get another/better understanding of what's going on with treatment anyway. If it doesn't make sense, it's better to ask.

My L&D recovery was that my nurses forgot to give me medicine. Then they said that according to my chart the other pain killer was one I was supposed to ask for according to the doctor. That's nice. No one told me!! Miserable experience (though the food was actually great!!). My take away on this - I don't doubt that the nurses are trying to do a good job, but everyone is busy and probably overworked and only you can look out for you. So, if something seems odd or silly, then yeah, push until you get an explanation that makes sense (even if the sense if "it's more convenient for the hospital") and use that information to judge what to do.

[Kimberly C]

I am a vegetarian in the deep south, so veggies aren't necessarily safe even- I WAS STARVING TO DEATH after I had my daughter. My husband was living off of grilled cheese sandwiches and my coffee leftovers.

We called people to bring us food. None of the nurses ever said anything.

I still wouldn't bring my (heart patient) father a cheesburger- I brought him grilled chicken and a salad and 'forgot' to bring salt. He still thanked me. Hospital food sucks.

[Cobblestone]

I think that there is a huge difference between someone who is in L&D or mother/baby and someone who is hospitalized for just about anything else.

In the end, I agree that trying to get an explanation and then maybe trying to work around the rule is an ok thing to do.

[Jen]

Smuggle, smuggle, smuggle!

As someone who has been an inpatient far too frequently, the only thing that kept me anywhere near sane was being smuggled food. To date: pizza when in for a stroke, sushi and a whole plate of roast dinner post delivery of my first child (C-section, so I was in for 5 days) [My good friend sent her husband round with a full roast, including gravy and stuffing. First decent night sleep I'd had since my son was born, and first proper feed he had was immediately after].

I get severely depressed in hospital but smuggled-in food makes life a heck of a lot more liveable. If he is not nil by mouth and is eating the garbage in the hospital, tell the admin staff to go to hell. The fastest way to recovery is good nutrition and good mood. Now go get your friend a nice fat caramel latte.. and a pizza with extra pepperoni!

[peaceinyourcrib]

smuggle.
let her enjoy.
*then* mention it to staff-
(esp if they are measuring her input/output of fluids)...
the hospital might be 6 oz. of decaf coffee; yours may be 12 oz. of octane...
they may need to know that- but only after the fact....

[GS]

I was in the hospital for three months of restricted bedrest when I was pregnant with Bump. I honestly don't know what I would've done were it not for the many friends who "smuggled" in decent food, including coffee from my favorite indy-cafe down the street. I say do it! If friend is allowed to drink hospital coffee, then why not drink the real stuff?

[Jill]

If their rule is so dumb as to allow coffee, but not YOUR coffee, then I say break the dumb rule.

Bring in the coffee and food. :)

[Julie]

Neil's friend is in for a "chronic condition that's serious but not life-threatening, and has nothing to do with short-term nutrition."

So, his friend has not just had a baby, and probably is not in for a broken leg or other orthopedic reason. I say proceed with caution. Coffee should be okay, but I would consider what the chronic condition was be before smuggling in sushi, pizza, or deli sandwiches. There might be a good reason why they are restricting the friend to hospital food. If they can't give a good reason, THEN go ahead and order take-out.

[CN]

of course, I'd smuggle it in. The hospitals are doing their best with the institutional food they're given -- it is bad after four days inside. No need to live by that if you do not have to.

[Neil]

Ha! I finally saw this. Thanks, Moxie. :)

It turns out they had me on the wrong diet - they had me down for a cardiac diet, which basically means everything has zero flavour.

I'm getting this fixed today, but I'm not very optimistic that it's going to vastly improve my hospital dining experience. I know they're doing the best they can with a limited budget and dozens of completely different dietary requirements, but the fact that airplane food is better than this is, well, a bit sad.

The good news is I can leave the hospital for 3-5 hours a day to pick up my kid from day care and help out with the night time routine at home, so I stock up on food then. :)

[Erika]

As a former hospital nurse who just had to spend four days overnight in the hospital ... bring the food. Smuggle, bribe, stun-gun, blow-dart, do whatever you have to do to get it past whomever you need to get it past.

I had pelvic, rectal and abdominal surgery. All of these things contributed to extreme nausea (so did my meds), but my diet was "advance as tolerated." I tell you what: I couldn't tolerate the food they served. It was so godawful in so many ways, and I was nauseous and anorexic, and I simply could not eat it. I'm a rather plain-jane girl when it comes to food - I can do bland. But there was something about most hospital food that is particularly horrendous.

I am honestly convinced that I could've gotten home a day earlier if I could have kept the food down. I had my husband bring me fresh bananas and some applesauce, as well as some crunchy breakfast cereal, and I perked up immediately. Mentally, physically, emotionally ... ah.

The original story said, "chronic condition that's serious but not life-threatening, and has nothing to do with short-term nutrition" ... which means the patient knows how to manage it and knows what he can/can't have. If he is on a regular diet, then he can have whatever he wants. Regular means regular. Bring him the burger, the fries, the coke ... let him eat cake!

[b*babbler]

Oh, definitely smuggle the food in.

If my husband hadn't snuck food into me while I was on bedrest, I would've lost some serious weight while pregnant with my daughter. If you think hospital food is bad, you should try their version of a vegetarian diet. I would have gladly switched to Alpo, some of the stuff was so bad that they put in front of me.

[heather]

I would definitely smuggle some decent chow in, provided I was absolutely certain the coffee I was bringing would do the patient/friend no harm and provided the food I was bringing was nutritious and would do no harm. No way would I smuggle a bag of potato chips into a hospital but yes to fresh fruit or a homemade sandwhich.

[Shanna]

Unless there is some medical reason that they need to track calorie/nutrient/fat/protein consumption rather precisely, I would absolutely bring in the outside food. Hospital food is vile (and kosher hospital food triply so).

[Girl Jen]

Figure out why the hospital's policy is what it is. If the hospital's "leaded" coffee is okay, smuggle in the good stuff from outside! If the rule is decaf-only, smuggle in some tasty decaf.

[jessica]

By all means smuggle away as loing as it's safe for the patient.

On my last night in the hospital from the c section, my friend brought a whole entire dinner of wonderful freshly made South African cuisine and a bottle of red wine to go with the Percoset. It was exactly what I needed, and so awesome.

[stun guns]

i will smuggling him in some better food and coffee at night after everyone is sleeping.