D-MER, or feeling crappy when your milk lets down

This just in from the "Who Would Ever have Suspected This" Files*:

"Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex

Defining D-MER:
What It Is

Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex is a newly recognized condition affecting lactating women that is characterized by a brief surge of dysphoria, or negative emotions that peak before the milk ejection reflex, or letdown, and then dissipate quickly after the milk release.

How D-MER Presents:
What Mothers Feel

The negative emotions, or dysphoria, that a mother with D-MER experiences often manifest "in the mother's stomach" - a hollow feeling, a feeling like there is something in the pit of the stomach, or an emotional churning in the stomach. Mothers report varying types of emotions ranging from dread to anxiety to anger, these emotions fall on three different D-MER spectrums which are described in more detail below. The common thread between the D-MER spectrums however, is the wave of negative emotions or dysphoria, prior to letdown, that then lifts within another 30-90 seconds, and then usually repeats with each letdown.

A key piece of D-MER is that a mother with D-MER feels absolutely fine except just before her milk starts to flow...."

Ho-ly crap, people. I had no idea. I'm guessing right about now those of you who nursed for more than a day or two are either shaking your heads in surprise like I am, or reading this with your mouths open because this happened to you. Apparently all kinds of women have D-MER, no matter how easy it is for them to nurse, how soon their milk comes in, etc.

If this looks like you or someone you know, read the whole story at the D-MER website. Since this is such new information (and how did they even put it together?--I can't imagine that most women with it would talk about it, because we're not usually allowed to say anything even remotely negative about how we feel during breastfeeding), please go take their survey about it.

The tagline of the D-MER website is "Because Breastfeeding Shouldn't Make You Feel This Way." Seriously.

* Actually, it was an IBCLC (lactation consultant) who sent this to me. She herself had it with each of her kids, but had no idea it happened to other women!

Comments

[paola]

Wow, you know, I noticed this often happened with my first born in the early weeks/months. At that time I was suffering PPD and noticed a wave of anxiety, light-headedness and 'that' feeling that I can't name as I only have ever associated with depression. Had no idea it was let-down related. Thought it was just my depression. I do not recall it happening with my daughter, but I didn't suffer from PPD with her. I had fast let-down with her though, and both my nipples got really pins and needles-ish during let-down.

[Moxie]

Testing.

[Jillian]

I'm one of those with her mouth open. I experienced this for about six months of nursing my son. I'm still nursing (he's nine months old now) but it has gone away.

And you're right. I said almost nothing about it because I didn't want to be negative about this connection with my baby. And it always went away so fast, so I was always able to just shake it off. I also assumed that no one would be able to recognize it or help me with it.

I was one of the fortunate new moms who didn't experience any PPD. Nor have I ever experienced significant depression in my life. So this was really bizarre. Every time I would put my son to my breast I would feel a terrible surge of anxiety. I'd feel queasy and a little bit panicky. And then... it would just go away.

Thanks for passing this on!

[Amy]

I get waves of nausea when I nurse... with #1 I thought I was nauseated because I was nervous or anxious about raising him and nursing was the only time during the day I slowed down to really think about my responsibility. It went away pretty early on. With #2 I was nauseated as well... though I don't recall the feeling of anxiety with her and again IIRC it went away pretty early. With #3, the nausea stuck around the entire 10.5 months of nursing though without the anxiety. Though maybe I was focusing so much on the sensation of nausea that I no longer noticed the anxiety? Anyway, glad to hear that it wasn't all in my head!

[NotAMom]

Sorry, but this doesn't look like a very scientific pursuit. It's "thoughts and theories" from unnamed sources, and it appears to be based mostly on anecdotal evidence and surveys, not scientific testing.

[anon]

i am in shock and feeling like maybe i'm not crazy. the anger and pain and guilt i've felt lately about nursing definitely is worst as the milk starts to let down and then re-peaks the longer my son nurses.

[Stephanie]

I'm not sure how much science there is on this now, but I think the women behind this are looking for answers. I'm part of a LiveJournal community (breastfeeding, I think?) and there have been a few posts looking for women who had suffered this. I just mention this because I think it's a serious, legitimate problem and these women are trying to find the scientific answers behind it.

[Diane]

I'm obviously not a medical expert or doctor or lactation consultant or anything of the sort, but doesn't it make sense that it's just part of the hormonal surge that takes place during letdown?

I guess this is important, though, if it at least helps women understand that the surge of feelings is at least somewhat normal and not something they're doing "wrong". It would be nice if something like this were included in nursing books. I'm pretty sure I experienced it myself in the first few months, but I chalked it up to worrying that letdown wasn't going to happen, or that when it did my baby would choke (because I had an overactive letdown.)

Anyway, I have to agree that it doesn't sound super scientific at this point, but even from a purely observational/anecdotal standpoint, it is definitely interesting and should be explored.

[hedra]

Ah, NotAMom, but much in the way of very good research starts here, with people putting the clues together and finding a pattern. Gotta have the hypothesis before you start the scientific testing! Without the thoughts and theories, followed by a long series of surveys, there's no reason to pursue further testing. Just usually, we're not in at that front gate, so we don't see the process.

You'll note that Moxie did say it was new. The purpose of setting up that kind of site and having a survey is to find out how prevalent, what range/variations exist, correlate a lot of data, and provide a basis for further testing! That's the whole medical discovery process in a nutshell, isn't it?

Sorry... that went a bit ranty. I have been at the leading edge of research a couple too many times. It's rather sucky to be the patient (or the mother of the patient) in those conditions. Theory doesn't help so much with coordinated management and treatment, and even diagnosis is iffy during the theory stage (and ideas for how to proceed may change many times over the first 2 decades of the discovery process). But it's still better than having no theory or surveys or a name for the disorder at all... (We hit the Fructose Malabsorption diagnosis only about a year after it started being diagnosed regularly, and there are still major medical centers that don't have the necessary testing equipment to diagnose, like, MAJOR centers... four years isn't long enough for everyone to catch up.)

[Chaosgirl]

On one hand, I can relate to this experience. I had anxiety before MER but I attributed it to my concern that my son was going to start freaking out if I didn't let down quickly for him. This ultimately contributed to a terrible cycle which, despite all efforts to break it, ended with my son weaning at 4.5 months, much much earlier than I wanted him to. I don't think that a diagnosis of DMER would have been helpful at the time. The problem, as I saw it, was that my son developed a preference for the bottle, despite only getting one a day.

On the other hand, I am very suspicious. As a scientist and clinical psychologist, I am extremely wary of descriptions of events that blossom in to "newly recognized conditions". Who said we were all supposed to feel excellent all the time? My concern is that lactating mothers will be diagnosed, seek out medication which may ultimately compromise or end breastfeeding. (Not to mention perpetuate the myth that our moods are supposed to be chipper and monotonic 24/7 to be "mentally healthy".)

[cybele]

Interesting. I don't remember a bluesy feeling before letdown but the nausea was pretty intense, especially when I was pumping (pumping definitely created at least as much if not more anxiety than nursing for me, because I never got enough milk). I attributed the nausea to exhaustion at the time. The tiredness probably didn't help, but interesting to note that it probably wasn't the only reason.

[Katy]

Oh my goodness - I've nearly written to Moxie about this so many times! I nursed my son for 21 months and for at least the first 6-8 months I always had a rush of anxiety when my milk let down. I described it to my husband as the feeling I first identified as "homesickness" when I was a child - this wave of uncertainty and that feeling that your stomach drops out of anxiety. It always passed very quickly and I attributed it to the hormone surge.

Interestingly, I sometimes get the same feeling when my breasts are stimulated sexually - so I'm thinking the same hormone is involved. I hope they do more studies on this. I imagine for women who experience it more severely it could be a big deterrent to nursing.

[Johanna]

YES! YES YES YES. Happens every time I nurse, and I just have to remind myself that it's completely hormone-related and it passes as quickly as it comes. It's comforting to know that other have noticed it as well.

[caramama]

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear that this is an issue! Breastfeeding is such a pleasant thing for me, that I can't imagine having negative feelings with a let down. I did have some pretty painful thrush that would send stabbing pains when the Pumpkin nursed, and that gave me some anxiety prior to her latch and the let down. But we were fine when it cleared up. I can only imagine how hard it would be to go through that feeling and worse every time.

In general, I'm a skeptic about, well, everything. But I do believe that anecdotal evidence IS evidence, even if it does not come out of a controlled study. Qualitative research should not be discounted just because it isn't quantitative. And like hedra said, the anecdotal evidence is often what starts the theorizing.

I see the point Chaosgirl is making about how we should not always feel perfectly happy (or we are just Stepford Moms, right?), but EVERYONE said to me and EVERYTHING I read talked about how you get such a wonderful, happy and drowsy feeling when you breastfeed. This was true for me. But if it wasn't, how would I have felt? Probably like a failure or like I was doing something wrong.

This just reminds me so much of PPD. Let's all think back to what it was like (or what we heard it was like) before it was widely understood or even okay (and I know with some people/places it's still not okay) to feel depressed after having a baby. Sure, women should be able to have a whole range of emotions, but to consistently feel depressed or worse? That was taboo. Until the anecdotes were heard. Until stories were told. Until people started talking, and then the science started looking into it to validate it.

Okay, you get my point. I hope those suffering through negative feelings while nursing are told that it is okay. I hope that treatments become available, which don't have to mean drugs. Good luck to those of you going through this!

[attiton]

Here's the thing about this for me. At the beginning, it hurt SO much to breastfeed that even thinking about nursing brought on waves of panic so large the tears began streaming down my face even before the pain started.

But, after the 4 months that it took for my breasts to heal from all the trauma(s), I don't think that I felt any residual anxiety at the beginning of a nursing session. Perhaps it was just my pig-headedness. At about 10 weeks I remember shouting, "I'm going to do this until it's PLEASANT!"

Sigh. I needn't have done that. But, it did end up being pleasant. Which is why I don't think this particular dysphoric response happened for me, at least, not after 12 weeks or so.

[Shannon]

Now, by now a lot of you know me as the big fat downer who talks about antidepressants a lot. But I just have to say, could women possibly have another thing in the world that makes them depressed? For crying out loud, we have PMS/PMDD, PPD, menopause ... and now depression/anxiety from BREASTFEEDING?!

[hydrogeek]

I didn't have this, but I just wanted to chime in to say WOW! You know, maybe something that's that short a duration doesn't even need to be treated, taking into account that if the information can just be dispersed women won't feel like they're crazy because of it! Can you imagine the relief many of the women who have read about this and experienced it must feel? In just these few short comments it's already obvious. Yay Moxie for keeping us all on the leading edge, even if it is just anecdotal evidence at this point!

[Shannon]

I think it's also good to acknowledge this because I could see a person like me working herself up into a frenzy over it, to the point that the depression/anxiety spilled over into the non-letdown periods.

[Ashramama]

I felt horrible when I was breastfeeding - had all the anxiety and nausea etc, but I put it down to the tandem mastitis and thrush I suffered, not to mention the bad latch and cracked bleeding nipples which in the end put paid to my milk supply (it hurt so much my body just switched off, I think).

Don't mean to hijack the thread here, but does anyone know if it's possible to get PPD over a year after the birth of your child? Or maybe I always had it and now it's getting worse??? Thanks.

[Ally]

A good friend of mine had this - fortunately her therapist - who she saw for PPD with both children - was aware of the condition and helped her come up with strategies to combat it. She nursed successfully for 6 and 9 months. I am still incredibly proud of her...

[ames]

@Katy - that is exactly how I also described the feeling: homesickness. My sister also experienced the same thing. Interesting stuff - I'm going to send the link to my sister, too.

[Johanna]

I wrote my first comment without reading anyone else's - so I hadn't read Katy's comment.

That is EXACTLY how I have been describing it to my husband as well - "homesickness". It's so interesting/funny/reassuring that others are experiencing it the exact same way that I am. I have been assuming all along that the homesickness was just the weird way my brain interpreted the hormone rush.

THANKS for posting this.

[hedra]

@Katy and Ames, I felt it as a rush of nostalgia - so I was probably having a related process (I also got euphoria pretty regularly, and nausea only when I was also dehydrated - the anxiety/nausea happened only for a really short span of time and always seemed to improve - for me - when I stayed really well hydrated, though maybe that's a different issue? I get anxious and nauseated when I'm dehydrated when not bfing, too).

Huh. I'd have said I was not in this group, but ... maybe a smidge, early on? (before I develop PPD).

@Ashramama, have you checked out "Ghost in the House" (I think that's the title - about Maternal Depression - not PPD specifically, but the entire intersection of being a mom and suffering from any degree of depression) - might be worth checking into. The official 'rule' for PPD is that it starts within the first year (but may extend past that) for moms of singletons. Twins moms there's suggestion that any time in the first two years, and triplets any time in the first three years qualifies (though this is still being researched, the pattern is pretty strong that there's a resurgence or 'start point' again around these ages for multiples moms). After that, it's considered general depression or maternal depression and not specifically PPD, IIRC. (Probably true for the multiples moms, really, but people understand PPD as a term more readily.)

[hedra]

I definitely also hear Chaosgirl's concern with the 'we should always be happy' slant of much of our pop psychology. I'm quite comfortable with the whole experience of life, up and down, provided I understand what's going on. I think this is one of those 'I would like to understand that this is a normal variation' rather than a 'please medicate me' issue, though I can definitely see people wanting the meds in this case, too! (or wanting to wean to make it stop)

[Alia]

*Very* well said. Thank you for representing D-MER so well, it doesn't always happen that way. Your blog was a nice thing to come across today and we appreciate you giving D-MER the additional web presence by writing about it. You must have a huge audience becuase the site's traffic sky rocketed today and we got several surveys filled out. We also got a load of blank surveys though, so people, if you have not experienced D-MER please do not start the survey just in order to *see* the rest of the survey, it messes with the survey numbers. Thanks. Oh, and thanks again Moxie for the post.

[Shannon]

@Ashramama, we are in the same boat. I started to feel depressed around 11 months post-partum. Now my son is 16 months and I'm still battling it. So I don't know if I fell under the umbrella of PPD or just regular depression, although I'm not sure it matters because depression sucks regardless. I just tell people it's PPD because that's more socially acceptable. Thanks, Brooke Shields! Also I looked up that book that Hedra recommended and it's called "The Ghost in the House."

[Bobbe]

This happened to me! I didn't suffer from any other kind of postpartum depression, anxiety, or even mild unhappiness -- my baby was really easy and I took to be being a mother like a duck to water -- but I would feel like a whole week's worth of PMS would hit me for 10 seconds right before my milk let down!

It continued with varying severity right up until I weaned at 15 months -- and it happened every time my milk let down, including pumping and "random" times at night, etc.

I got to where I just grit my teeth and bore it, and in 10 seconds I would feel just fine again. It really helped to try to focus the anger somewhere else than the baby -- it really was just a "floating" emotion. If I thought about pancakes or polar bears or that annoying kid from third grade, the anger would "attach" to that topic just as easily and spare me to angst of feeling angry at my infant.

I should go take that survey.....

[professor mama]

yes, yes, yes, yes!!!!!
the "hollow" feeling is exactly how i would describe it. it was the same feeling i had as an adolescent going through puberty -- a strange sensation (right in the pit of my stomach) of being outside my body. not so much anxiety/nausea but a discomfort. not a physical discomfort but an emotional weirdness of being out of touch with my body. when i nurse my 3mo, it lasts maybe 2 minutes, then it's gone. it has been odd for me to have "flashback" feelings to adolescence, but there it is. pps have described it as "floating" and "homesickness." that is exactly me. WHEW!!!

[Sunbe]

How utterly strange - I would never have thoght that anybody else would have so claearly articulated the same sad 'homesickness' feeling I experienced when breastfeeding my baby in the early days (maybe the first 4 months). I described it to my partner as exactly same feeling I first had when I was a very small child and missing something I couldn't quite put my finger on; even then I used to feel thirsty at the same time too - exactly the same as just before/during let-down. I am amazed.

[caramama]

As a side note, I have occassionally experienced that "hollow" feeling or homesickness just randomly. I never understood it, and I didn't realize other people felt it too! It's nice to know that other people do get that feeling and that I haven't been imagining things all these years.

[gs]

Totally. Floored. I very much recall the empty, hollow, pit of my stomach feeling whenever I'd start to nurse. It *would* give way to something better, and quickly, but I so clearly remember a subtle raise of anxiety and actually an irrational sense of fear that would usually be felt in my stomach. SO interesting to know that a) I wasn't alone and b) that it was chemical. Very very interesting.

[gs]

Totally. Floored. I very much recall the empty, hollow, pit of my stomach feeling whenever I'd start to nurse. It *would* give way to something better, and quickly, but I so clearly remember a subtle raise of anxiety and actually an irrational sense of fear that would usually be felt in my stomach. SO interesting to know that a) I wasn't alone and b) that it was chemical. Very very interesting.

[HollyRhea]

I get the nausea during let-down. If I'm eating, I feel like it's about to all come up. But yes, it goes away in a minute or two.

The odd thing is, this is my second child - I've been nursing for over three years straight. I didn't experience this until the past two months or so.

[Cloud]

@Shannon- the underlying biology is very similar in all the things you mention that make women feel depressed. It is hormones/changes in hormonal levels that are linked to these problems. If it makes you feel any better, hormones can affect men's moods, too, it is just that their hormone levels are more constant so they don't get the mood changes that we do. But think of 'roid rage- if a man artificially increases his testosterone levels with steroids, he can experience increased anger/rage.

@ashramama: The connection of mood alterations with hormones means that it seems perfectly reasonable to me that you could start feeling depressed after a year, particularly if you are decreasing/stopping breastfeeding at about that time. The change in breastfeeding will change your hormone levels, which could change your mood. I know that I feel what I describe as "PMS-y" anytime I drop a nursing or pumping session. It only lasts a week or so for me, and isn't so severe, so I've never sought help. Just having a theory for why it is happening is enough for me. So if anyone has data that disproves my theory, don't tell me!

[Lisa]

@ Ashramama: Yes. I had mild-to-moderate late-onset PPD, at 21 months postpartum when my period returned. Took til 24 months to figure out what was going on, and that only because of a passing comment from Hedra (bless you again!).

Of course, I don't *know* it was PPD, although: (1) the symptoms totally lined up, (2) onset was at same time as major hormonal shift, and (3) hedra's recommended dose of 3000 mg Omega 3s helped in like *four days.* IWe're still nursing, cutting back (recently night-weaned at - yow - 28 months; down to approx. 4x/day), but going veeery slowly so as not to upset the hormonal applecart.

A friend had similar symptoms when she cut down to only morning and night feedings at 20 months, in preparation for weaning/trying to conceive.

I suspect the reason PPD post-one-year is so rare/not much discussed is how few women, in the US at least, nurse much beyond that, or hit the major hormonal shifts of night-weaning and return of menses so late...

Feel free to e-mail if you want to discuss: lisa AT ampedit DOT com.

- Lisa

[Amanda]

I'm astonished.

My issue is slightly different, but similar. And I can't believe the timeliness of this as I've been freaking out for the past few days about my newfound breastfeeding issues. My son (20 months) just started breastfeeding again. He was abruptly weaned one month ago when I was 9 months pregnant and dealing with thrush. Also, he hadn't been too interested in the boob for since he turned 1--mostly just a comfort nap-nursing kind of guy.

After the birth of my daughter 2 weeks ago he was back at it with a vengeance (great new taste?! jealousy?! I can't figure it out). Only this time, as he munches away noisily gulping and half-biting my areola, I am WINCING, and literally stifling the urge to throw up, pass out...And there is a little anger in there. Sometimes I get the urge to literally rip him off my breast. It isn't painful per se, but somehow...icky, maddening, nauseating. I feel extremely bad about this--guilty, like I am a horrible person.

I've always loved nursing (it is going quite well with the newborn--no weird feelings), so I don't get this at all.

[sammy]

I have definetely experience D-MER while nursing my daughter. She is 16 months now and has been weaned for about 2 months, but from what I can remember I only had this feeling for the first few months after she was born. I would also have feelings of euphoria, or extreme joy sometimes, before a let down. Has anyone experience both D-MER and those euphoric feelings?? Can they co-exist?

[strugi]

Wow, suddenly I feel normal. I breastfed my son for 14 months and those first 10 to 30 seconds of every nursing session made me feel very conflicted about breastfeeding. I loved doing it and being able to do it, I also loved getting myself back...not so much my body and my brain.

[Lex]

Yes yes yes! I mean, I adore breastfeeding, but I've always got this funny "empty" or "hollow" feeling, as I've described it to my husband, just before letdown.

[Lex]

Oh, and it never bothered me particularly, as it goes away so quickly. I've just always thought it's odd.

[Genevieve]

So that is what I was feeling. It wasn't terribly bad and would last less than a minute and stopped happening after a few months -but it always felt so strange. The first few months of nursing were incredibly tough as it was (supply issues, my baby was one lazy lazy nurser and had incredibly poor weight-gain) but then there was the brief moment of anxiety that would come rushing on. My Mom talked about that happening to her as well. I just chalked it up to hormones.

[Girl Jen]

Oh! So THAT's what that was!
Suddenly my postpartum experience makes a little tiny bit more sense.

There were times before a nursing session when I would literally break down crying and whine, "I don't wanna do this again, make her stop eating!"

[AK]

Wow.. I had this too, right when the milk let down started. And, a strange hollowness in my tummy, a sudden sadness which went away in about a minute or so. But it happened everytime my milk letdown.

[Evany]

I do get a specific hormone surge when I start nursing (or, like an above poster, when my husband touches my breasts sexually) that isn't unpleasant, but I can see how it would be on a continuum that would end in an unpleasant feeling.

However, I do wish that the post was a little more clear that "D-MER" isn't really... science. Yet. I'm a big old skeptic/professional wet blanket.

[justhadtosay]

The presence of negative emotions during breastfeeding is not a new concept. Hilary Flowers "Adventures in Tandem Nursing" is one example of a book that has explored this area. Granted, her book specifically discusses nursing while pregnant and after a new baby arrives, but it is clear that nausea, agitation, anger, etc. can all be a part of a normal nursing relationship. As a PPer mentioned, lactation is a hormonal process so it should surprise no one that we have emotional responses to its hormonal fluctations just as we do with menarche / puberty, menstruation, pregnancy, menopause, etc.

I really object to the notion that we as BFing women are somehow forbidden from saying anything negative about nursing. If that attitude persists, more babies will continue to be deprived of their moms' milk because women feel like failures when they do experience the negative emotions, physical difficulties, time constraints, etc. that are part of a functional nursing relationship.

Human relationships are challenging and complex on many levels. The nursing relationship is no exception and we shouldn't expect it to be.

[sheSaid]

I heard from my whole family how wonderful breastfeeding was for them. My mother told me let down was nearly orgasmic for her. I knew this growing up, pregnant... and yet for me?

No real sensation of let down, no feeling of peace but yes a sense of dread loss, discomfort. We are nearly at a year nursing and it's not as bad now... or I am use to it or something.

I only told my husband. No one else could even beilve I didn't have a strong let down sensation.

[Menita]

WOW. Put me down in the jaz on the floor oh my goodness this is so validating camp. YES YES YES!

[Furrow]

I always thought that's what everyone was talking about when they talked about the letdown sensation. talking to a few friends, though, I realized it was unusual.

[Carla Moquin]

I definitely have this. With both my children, I regularly had what felt like a crashing wave of depression (within seconds of them starting to nurse)--it usually went away after a little bit, but it was often very disconcerting and just felt awful. I didn't realize what was going on (that it wasn't general depression or something) until I was back at work regularly and pumping throughout the day. I would start pumping (very little milk at first), and then I noticed that I would get the wave of depression, and consistently thirty seconds later I could feel my milk letting down (sort of a tingling feeling)--I could only feel the let-down during pumping because my breasts were so much fuller than when I was with my baby and nursing frequently. Once I started noticing the pattern I could almost count the seconds between the emotional wave and the physical let-down. Once I realized the connection, I was much more able to ignore it or distract myself from it, but it still happens pretty much every time I nurse (my younger daughter) and it can be really hard not to let myself stay in that depressed mode unless I'm really paying attention and basically tell myself there's no actual reason for the depression and just try to kind of ignore it until it dissipates. I extended-nursed both my daughters, but I can't say that nursing is something I enjoyed physically because of this reaction. I loved the closeness and and cuddling and how much it made my girls happy and how much I knew it was benefiting them, but I have never experienced the "euphoria" that most women apparently get from it, and there have definitely been times I really haven't wanted to nurse at the moment because I didn't want to feel like this (I did anyway, for my kids' sake, but I had to talk myself into it). I think it's great that they've identified this and hope they are able to get into hard research soon.

[Hilary]

Thank you for posting about this!

I have never heard of this before, and I trained as a lactation consultant. Oxytocin is a complicated chemical, and I wouldn't be surprised if some people respond differently to it than others. I am going to have to look into this.

I hope that this doesn't become an excuse for people to pathologize negative feelings about breastfeeding, however. Everyone can feel dread when it's time to breastfeed sometimes, especially if it's 2 a.m. or you have cracked nipples or a hundred reasons, but that doesn't mean it's a disorder. Just like many women can feel cranky before their period, but that doesn't mean they have premenstrual dysphoric disorder, brought to you by Prozac.

Speaking as a breastfeeding advocate, I don't think it's true, in most circles, (not all) that you can't say anything negative about breastfeeding. I usually find it to be quite the opposite, that breastfeeders are usually mocked as being holier than thou even before they have joined the conversation.

I think talking about the hardships of breastfeeding makes people more informed about it, and makes it more likely that women will know if their particular hardship is shared by others, and what they can do to hopefully improve or overcome the situation.