It's Primal Scream Wednesday

Having huge friend crisis (friend is having crisis, not crisis between us) that makes me realize that people can be mean. Really pointlessly mean.

And about a million other stressors of big and small varieties.

Post your stress here!

Comments

[brigita]

The fact that my husband is so stressed to the point that it's having a real impact on his health is stressing *me* out.

And I have chemo infusion #2 (of 8) tomorrow. More of a buzzkill than a stress, but there you go...

Fortunately, the wee one is still sleeping/napping like a champ and is cute as hell, so she's one thing that's going right... ;)

[Jac]

I didn't mean to minimize people's worries about children masturbating when I said that Hedra's post made me laugh. It's just that, as a new mommy, I am constantly surprised by the things that I now do and say that I NEVER could have imagined pre-baby. Things like asking a child to stop self-entertaining in public - never occurred to me that I might have that to look forward to. Then again, I never knew how much pride I would be able to take in leaping across the room to catch the baby's barf before it hits the carpet (easier to wash hands than wash carpet). If someone had told me this stuff before I had baby, I never would have believed them.

[Erin]

God, where do I start? Money. Serious problems with extended family -- my father and my husband's parents -- which is causing marital problems. Those are the big ones.

SCREEEEEEAAAAAAM!

Erin

[Coley]

BBQ accident in January emptied savings, and more.
Owe $700 in state taxes
Payroll screwed up a paycheck, so took $800 out of my last paycheck.
Currently in the hole to the tune of $1500
And now my 4-month-old son will likely need cranial surgery.
We need to move out of our high-murder-rate neighborhood...like NOW.

I really don't want my darling boy's head cut open.

On the plus side:
Supportive husband, my kid sleeps well *fingers crossed*, and the folks here at Ask Moxie help me keep some perspective.

[Maria Wood]

@ elizabeth, that is exactly how I feel. Helps to hear I'm not alone with it.

[s]

I'm stressed because I'm 33w pregnant and my BF was just laid off (very unexpectedly as is usually the case) from work. F(*#(*#k.

I had done A LOT of planning to make sure we would be financially organized & budgeted to manage the decrease in salary while we are on parental leave (50 weeks between the 2 of us - yay Canada!), and to still be able to afford a few 'pleasures' and 'luxuries' for our first baby, like having a cleaning person come once every 2 weeks, or buying some cute stuff for the nursery.

Don't even want to think about the reality if the BF can't find work within the next few months.

Actually, I have to confess, today I'm more relaxed about the whole situation. I was very stressed / angry / sad / upset yesterday. Oh the joy of the rollercoaster that is dealing with things like this.

Today I am thanking my lucky stars that the BF's angiogram last week went well - no blockages, yay! As much as I hate $$ problems, I hate health problems even more.

[Cynthia]

Reading the big things that those of you before me are facing definitely helps me put things in perspective. Some of you are dealing with such sad, heart wrenching things and I am so sorry.

This is an odd week for me, I'm trying to pick up the pieces after a long and difficult semester of grad school, and trying to decide if my husband and I should divorce or separate. The inability to decide is killing me inside. I've been bottling the anger within, since my 10 mo old is very sensitive to moods, so it only comes out when I'm trying to go to sleep. I try to squash it then, and it's starting to manifest as almost-panic attacks. I can't afford those with a baby around.

I have called my psychiatrist to talk about my meds, but I don't know if that's the right answer. We've been going to a marriage counselor but the sessions have all been about my H (getting him to admit he compulsively trolls for women). I just haven't found an outlet for my anger and it's getting more than I can handle. I'm stuck in a loop and I don't know how to get out.

[Judit]

Thank you Moxie for offering up a forum to vent. My stressors? Here they are:
Many of my friends' serious marital/relationship problems
Deciding on a "family" car-going from two small cars to one bigger and one small car
Flying across country to visit relatives...for two weeks. With a 20 month old.
Money.
Pregnant with second at 35-1st ultrasound today, then what kinds of tests to do? Amnio, CVS, ultrascreen? Generally worried about baby being healthy.
Minor insomnia, nausea, not enough exercise, too much bloating, breasts killing me...ahhhhh, the joys of pregnancy.
Thank you for listening.

[Amy]

Because there is no legal mechanism in place to provide an intermediary for two people who are divorced and who have a PERMANENT NO CONTACT ORDER between them - my brother and I get to be the go-betweens for my mother and stepfather. Stepfather has money issues, mother has major medical issues, insurance premium is not being paid, and we have to meet with her psychiatrist next week to discuss his unpaid bill, the total of which would feed a third-world country for seven years.

I work full time, but I'm a way better mother than an employee, and I'm sick of being away from daughter.

I accepted a freelance writing job - stupid stupid me, why do I keep taking those things when I KNOW I don't have the time? The cash is under the table, but I CAN'T BEAR IT.

[Maria Wood]

@jac, no offense taken. It is funny, and I know it'll be funnier in a few years when it's history.

[&BabyMakes75]

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh (scream)
balancing career and family so that stress of work doesn't infringe upon home and vice-versa

@jbq+h -- what worked for me with pink eye was to pump a little, soak a washcloth or cotton ball in it and place on closed eye as one would a cuccumber a la spa treatment

[hedra]

@blanca, hiring a financial advisor was one of the best things we did for making ends meet. He costs us a couple hundred dollars a year, and he saves us (or finds us) thousands and thousands. It's also nice to know I have someone 'on the job' besides me and DH, so, for example, when we found out we were having twins, I could call and say 'HELP!' Got us out of stupid debt (and into debt we can write off), helps us think through the decisions, provides perspective, but doesn't make any decisions *for* us. It's like having ... well, like having Ask Moxie, only for money.

@DC ranger, good luck with the assessment. It's likely to be valuable in many ways. While you wait, you could (if you had time, say), read either Sensational Kids or Raising a Sensory Smart Child - both of which deal a lot with the 'kid who bites, hits, pushes, runs into/body-slams' etc. BTW, that was B, in our house. One bite shy of being suspended from Montessori preschool. Granted, he had diet issues as well (which made everything worse), but the sensory stuff comes out in the most frustrating ways, especially at school. Good luck, again!

I'm feeling a bit better having talked with a coworker who knew of a few places that might be hiring in my world... we'll see what I turn up for June, if they don't just extend me here past June.

[Katie B.]

Mine are minor in comparison to many others posted here, but bad enough for us.

We've been dealing for several months now with a crisis in our extended group of friends, where about three have suddenly started behaving abusively (this is an email list). Those of us sensitive to the abuse or being attacked have been very upset (and some of us have left the list - because I REALLY don't need the stress while being pregnant, or at all really), and many of the rest are clueless. This has not been at all fun.

On the up side, I think I've resolved the baby's experimenting with breech positioning... of course, the solution involves digging in the garden, hard on me for other reasons, but hey, the garden needs it! Hedra, I feel you on the invasive vines - I'm hoping to nip the ambitions of some wild raspberries in the bud, as well as some comfrey!

[meggiemoo]

hmm...let's see.

1. 1st floor of house flooded b/c DH didn't install a furnace humidifier properly. Flooded 3 neighbor's townhouses as well. Flooring had to be ripped up.

2. still living on concrete floors (see #1). Replaced kitchen cabinets (see #3) and countertop. New sink isn't here yet, so washing dishes in tiny bathroom sink.

3. Seriously NO MONEY.

4. Much, much fatter than I need to be. Very, very fat.

5. Just spent $2,500 in flights because of rising oil prices for a "discount" vacation using our SIL's timeshare. (See #3.)

6. Daycare switched DS' morning teacher...he has cried every morning at drop-off for the past 2 weeks.

7. Did I mention I'm hugely fat?

[Katie B.]

Oh yeah, money, too, but isn't that universal?

[Marta]

Sweet 15 month old had a seizure on Saturday. I still am seeing him in flashbacks, seizing and I can't stop him.
It was utterly terrifying.
I just can't seem to get over it.
He's going to be ok, but I don't know how my world will ever be the same.
M.

[Sara]

My friend, whose husband recently admitted to being blind drunk for 5 days straight while caring for her son, and is now 2 months out of treatment, has started pulling away from me again, and bailed on watching my son during a critical time after we watched her son dozens of times.

And we just started trying to get pregnant and I can't talk to anyone about it - all my closest friends are either struggling to get pregnant or have recently had miscarriages or are dealing with husband's colon cancer, alcoholism, you name it.

And my 2-year-old is missing his mama because I'm in finals for another week and just want to spend mother's day snuggling with my little guy but instead I will spend it writing a paper.

My dad has been blacking out daily for 2 years and refusing to seek medical attention and I can't stand talking with him anymore because I just want to scream "Get some !@#$$% help!"

And I'm more out of shape than I've been in my whole life.

Phew. I feel better. And also thankful - my heart goes out to all of you.

[Mimi]

Fleas.

[Dana]

More sadness than stress- a friend lost her baby at her 36th week of pregnancy this past weekend. The precious little one would have been their first daughter to join their happy little family of mom, dad and two young boys. It came out of the blue, no warning, no previous complications.

So we're all struggling to help them in their grief...

[Allison]

My co-woker and I talk about our stresses sometimes, but at the end of the conversation she always says something along the lines of...

"But you know, if everyone threw their problems up into the air and then had to pick some back up, I'd fight like hell to grab my own!"

[jbq+h]

@&BabyMakes75--thanks for the tip! I've actually done that for my daughter, but it didn't occur to me to do it to myself.

Were you able to admit to your family that's what you had on your eye though?

[Nic]

I am working 12 hr days, and will through the end of the month. I have a presentation to give at a national meeting that I have not prepared for at all. I have a final exam next Tues and I am travelling out of town this weekend for my brother's graduation from law school. I never get to see my kids. I am a hamster stuck in a wheel.

[steph]

Mortgage industry in California, need I say more?

7 years, 7 IVF cycles, 1 ectopic, 1 twin miscarriage, 1 singleton miscarriage 2 weeks ago. $150,000.

One beautiful blessing in my 3yo son.

[Marta]

Oh yeah, and right after the seizure, water started leaking out of the kitchen cieling.
Now it's fixed (I can't wait for that bill) and we have a hug hole in the cieling we are trying to dry so it doesn't mold.
Hrrrmph.
When it rains it pours.
M.

[cynthia]

not much compared to many folks here, but...new job, still getting my footing and dealing with the 5:30pm walk of shame. and I'm tired, because we can't get our 11 mo old to sleep past 5 on a regular basis, and twice this past week, up at 4:30am...

[Joy]

@Bobbi, I cried too when I read your post. My heart goes out to you and your friends and my prayers are with you.

My stressors don't compare.

God bless you all.

[slydog]

Boy, I really needed this today!

Didn't get to sleep until 4 am with Chicken becasue he was itchy from an allergic reaction to penecillin. Been weeks since we've had good sleep because he's been sick (which we then componded by poisoning him with progressively stronger antibiotics till he broke out in a horrendous rash EVERYWHERE on his body--makes me feel stronger about my avoidance of antibiotics unless absolutley necessary).

Chicken still not sleeping well. I have no idea how to fix it and I'm going crazy about it.

Chicken is just such a tough baby. I just want him to be happy and he's such a grouchy kid. It's hard to admit that you don't really like your kid's personality. I feel guilty and like I can't talk to other moms about it. Even writing it makes me want to add qualifiers that he's an amazing kid and can be so fun and create so much joy. Then feel bad because my mom described me as the same way. Then I feel terrible becasue I can't talk to her about it becasue she died when Chicken was a month old. Then tears well up and I push them back down. Then remind myself I really need to go to therapy but don't have time to find one, let alone actually go.

Then I worry maybe it's all related to the bad sleeping and I could be alleviating some of my stress if I could only figure out how to fix that.

I worry about how distant me and the hubby are becoming. He has newer stressful job and he winds down by playing computer games--totally separate from me. Chicken wakes up around 10 pm and I lay down with him, I fall asleep and hubby plays till the wee hours of the morning. Then doesn't get enough sleep and that worries me too. I know we need some time alone together but I don't even know how to find a good babysitter that I trust and could handle Chicken.

I realize hubby does a lot but still feel like I'm doing the heavy lifting. Can't figure out how to get around that (both the doing and the feeling).

I work so hard to make 3 days at work/2 at home work but I'm not so sure it's worth it. Especially when Chicken is grouchy so much of the time when I'm with him and I'm just looking forward to nap and then bedtime. Except for the days when he's not and then it's like the best thing in the world and totally worth all the stress. But I never know when that's coming (just like I never know when the good sleep nights are going to come). That in itself is a big stress. I like consistency and Chicken is anything but consistent.

I'm going away for a 5 day on biz trip out of the country and freaked out about it, both for me and Chicken. Need to get behind it and enjoy the away time instead of fretting the whole time.

Can't get the stress exczema and roseacia under countrol and back pain is not manageable anymore. Need to go back to the physical therapist--especially since I'm planning on getting pregnant in a few monthhs. Why? Even though everything feels overwheelming and I have no idea how things will pan out with having another, I feel ready too.

Too much to do at work today and spending too much time reading Moxie!

Thanks for the forum to do this!

[Suki]

@Slydog -- how old is chicken? My toddler son goes through phases where he's a real grouch too. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about it. All I want is for him to be happy and so often he seems like a miserable kid. It sucks. It really sucks. Sometimes I feel ripped off; like I'm not getting the gaga mothering experience that my friends seem to have.

[Shelley]

If anyone's reading from beginning to end, update on husband with 3-day fever -- he's back from the ER, and it's strep. Whew. Antibiotics begun, problem solved, and here's hoping no one else in the household gets it.

My heart goes out to everyone here with problems that are so much harder and longer-term, and those dealing with actual tragedies.

[Kate]

I'm stressed that I have pneumonia! And two kids to take care of! I hate being sick, they have coughs and I'm paranoid about them getting seriously ill, my husband's stressed about work and is being great about staying home a lot for us but it's killing him. We live far from family, and all my friends here have kids, so they can't come and thus get sick too ... or take much time away from their kids ... ARGH.

[attiton]

AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Today I can't even express all the things that are getting me down. From the small things to the larger things. It all just seems too much.

The only thing keeping me going is the knowledge/belief that these down times come in waves and this too shall pass.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

[Stacy]

brother hospitalized for treatment of brain cancer, parents selling the house I grew up in and getting ready for an interstate move (one parent already in temporary housing), starting a new (temporary) job in under 2 weeks, need to find a permanent job, going to texas tomorrow for sister's graduation, unhappily single and not sure how to meet folks, or in what free time i could go on dates anyway.

[Shannon]

Jumping in again ...

First I just want to say that I feel better knowing that I'm not the only one struggling with antidepressants. So often I hear people say stuff like, "Oh, I was totally depressed and didn't want to go on with life, and then I took [insert drug name here] and everything is great now!" And I just don't understand why it is so bleeping hard for me to find something that doesn't make me all woozy.

@slydog, I just gave up the struggle with part-time. (Same as you, 3 days working each week.) It was just not happy for me personally or professionally. At work I got sucky helper-type assignments and always felt like I wasn't really part of the staff. This would be an okay sacrifice if I didn't just totally dread the days home with my son. (As the previous paragraph indicates, I also have some depression issues.) I love him a lot, but (and this is SO HARD to admit) he's better in small doses. There's only so much time you can take with a 1-year-old. So I went back to work full-time, which is a stressor in and of itself, but so far I think it's a better choice for me.

And I also just want to say that I feel that my husband doesn't pull his weight around the house. I know he does things, but I always feel like I'm doing more. Why the !@#$ can't he get up in the morning and help with our kid while I get ready for work? Why does he have to work late so often, leaving me to put the kid to bed on my own? How did it get to be that I have to shop for groceries, make dinner, and do the dishes, while all husband does is sit there and eat ... that is when he isn't COMPLAINING about how I made something he doesn't like.

[slydog]

@Suki--Your comment totally hit the nail on the head! Chicken's 20 months now. The grouchy factor definitely ramped up around 16 months when he started talking. He's a classic toddler--want's to do everything and frustrated he can't. But, he's also always had a grumpier temperment than most of the other kids I'm exposed to. Try to get outside with him and it helps. Thank goodness the warmer weather has arrived...

Think this is just their personalities? I worry about that becasue I have a downer personality and I spent a lot of time less happy than I could have been. Took me 30 years to figure out and I don't want that for him. Maybe I'm projecting, but my husband has noticed his grouchiness too and he's Mr. Sunshine and Rainbows.

[Laura]

Returned to work this week. Must take four buses a day to schlep babe to and from daycare. Have eighth head cold since baby's birth. Husband who works sixty-hour weeks and thinks that turning on a Robyn Hitchcock DVD in the few minutes he does spend with the baby each day is a great idea; also refuses to clear out personal study to create a baby room. Baby weight tenacious and no time to exercise. But: baby only waking once per night now, hooray hooray.

[Bobbi]

I just want to say thank you to this fabulous group for all your kind wishes...they've really helped me wrap my brain around this day. Here's hoping all our loads lighten, and soon...

[rw]

i know this stress is small compared to what other moms deal with, but here goes: i feel like i spend an unreasonable amount of time on the phone with medical billing outfits and insurance companies and being driven crazy by 'bills' and/or threatening letters to pay for services owed by my insurance company. this morning, while on hold, after determining to be nice to whomever i spoke to on the phone (after all, i'm incredibly lucky...i have a beautiful little girl, i actually HAVE medical insurance), i ended up flipping out at yet more of their incompetence. ugh. i feel like a moral failure.

[Suki]

@slydog - my son is 16 months and he's definitely been a bigger grouch in the past couple months than he used to be. Well, he was also pretty cranky as a pre-mobile baby. 6-12 months were a little better. But since about 13 months, he's only happy outdoors running free (not indoors running free, and not outdoors in the stroller - must be outdoors AND free). I think it's just his personality. He's headstrong, smart, determined, easily frustrated, impatient, (hyper?) active, and still has few words to express himself. There are days when he whines seemingly incessently and I just don't like him and it really is hard. I just wish he would laugh more. When he laughs it feels right and all worth it. When he whines and fusses all day... my goodness... it's all I can do to get to bedtime and have a glass of wine...

[hedra]

@slydog, couple of thoughts to help try to navigate your way into his better personality aspects. Not saying he's not grumpier than average, just... well, some experience here...

a) redefine the terms around the situations in which he gets grumpy. at some point when he's grumpy, just observe and see what you spot. We for a while defined B as 'destructo-boy' because he was always freakin tearing something apart! ARGH! But I got guilty/worried/upset over calling him negative things in my head (and it was clearly a personality thing, to me)... and while watching him, waited out his usual round of tearing apart something... only to find that he was really a deconstructionist - someone into using recovered materials to create something new. It wasn't that he wasn't satisfied with how the old thing was, it was that he had an intense need to create from existing materials. I'd always stopped him at the point BEFORE he got to create something new (which also made him mucho cranky and frustrated, as, frankly it would make me if someone messed up my process just as I was about to create something). Observe and see if there's not something else in there that can be spun for positive thinking of it - every one of my kids has something that I initially took negatively, but that I've found to be a positive trait if I frame it properly. G isn't just oblivious to the desires/needs/wants of others, he's self-driven and impervious to peer pressure. One side of that drives me nuts, the other side I could wish ALL my kids had! B is passionate and opinionated - sometimes that's really really annoying and explosive, other times that's just an amazing joy ride. By the time we got to M and R, I was used to the idea that everything has an up-side, if I can find the right opportunities for it, or coach the right skills to build the structures in which to employ it. Not that I figure that out right off (in fact, it tends to be right around 20 months that I seem to get a handle on it at all!). But ... well, that tendency to be grumpy - is it sensitivity to the nuance of interpersonal conditions? Is it a profound need to interact with nature (leading to grumping when denied this fundamental need - M is like that a bit)? Is it just a different cadence of personal process (shorter or longer than the other people in the house? R's grumpies are frequent, as well - but I know exactly why.. she has a very long 'period' to her pattern. She needs time to be with her feelings, time to make transitions, time to decide what to do next, time time time time time... and it's always longer than I would ever have taken even as a child. But it's JUST a different time scale. And that also means she's got a depth and degree of attention that is beyond even the other kids, if she's given a chance to exploit it...). Anyway, that's some of my thoughts on that side...

and b...what was b? I think b) was that having spotted that in yourself 'late' you have a great opportunity to help coach the skills to spot the negativity and work back out of it early.

A friend of mine had one of the grumpiest babies I've ever seen, and he's strangely gone in the reverse pattern to most people - he started out as a grumpy, resentful, angry child, and has grown into an increasingly more pleasant, positive, and sunny adolescent. Oh, and he's a major introvert, too - I think just being in a family was pretty draining for him, even as a baby. His mom had a similar personality, and she did just keep gently working the skills with him, though she took a very different approach than I would have. It seems to have worked fine. So, um, carry on! I think you'll work it through fine.

[enu]

@Brigitta, so sorry you're on chemo too (and that that's less stressful than the rest of your story right now! Sheesh! I can't imagine!) Hope it all goes quick...

[Suki]

@Hedra -- thanks so much for your thoughts! I have sensed already that I need to re-characterize his personality not as 'grumpy' or 'cranky' but as something more positive. I'm just not sure what yet. I am still learning about who he is of course. He is very happy around other children (shocking to me since I am since an introvert I can't believe he wants to spend time in active/busy/toddler-filled spaces) and he loves being outdoors and loves nature. He does not like being inside for long periods, and he does not like sitting still. It's hard for me because I see other babies happily sitting on their mothers' laps while they eat lunch or read the paper or socialize, and I feel I need to be on the go or let him run around and explore, or he will start to fuss. I really love him. I do want to do what it takes to keep him happy. On the other hand, sometimes I worry that he whines a lot because I have indulged him and worked hard to do whatever it takes to keep him contented all day instead of letting him take care of himself...

[slydog]

@Suki--Sounds like we have kids cut from the same cloth! Nice to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. Thanks.

[bmom]

We just found out that our second adoption will not go through because of therapy I received five years (yup...five years) ago during our infertility treatment. Apparently the fact that I once asked for help makes me a high risk parent. Even though we already adopted our little b. Who is a shining light of wonder to us all. So, now we're scrambling to find a new path. We're heart-sick, stressed, angry and sad. Luckily our little b keeps us laughing. all. of. the. time. He helps keep the stress in perspective every time he tries to snap his fingers.

[melissa]

my job makes me want to die a little. i am so unhappy that i can't think of a solution - only about how unhappy i am. i feel trapped because we need the money. i feel worthless and miserable almost every minute of every day that i am here.

[welter]

This post is truly a godsend and a public service!
Biggest stressor has been husband's declaration in late Feb. that he would want our marriage to survive but that he's unhappy and doesn't think it can. Baby was 3 mo then, now almost 6 mo. We are working hard, but change is slow, lots of impatience building up on both sides. Can we be kind enough to each other in the meantime to motivate us to keep going?
Plus, spending 4 hours a week in therapy (2 indiv, 2 couples)--have to bring baby or figure out childcare.
Revisions due on dissertation.
Grades due for students.
Not enough time with preschooler.
Baby seems to have second ear infection in 3 weeks, am taking him to ped this afternoon.
So grateful to have all of you, read your posts and recognize your names and past experiences chronicled here.

[alex]

Discovered last week that we have bed bugs. I am not quite 3 months pregnant so I am wigging the heck out.

Since I can't be exposed to pesticides (Yet. I will have to spray eventually, as there is no other way to get rid of them), I have spent hours of every darn day (including when I was home sick with a terrible cold last week) cleaning EVERY DARN thing in my house. And vacuuming every day. A 2 hour job minimum, but usually I'm eating dinner and in bed 2-3 hours later than usual.

And my husband is away on business so I am doing this all by myself. I am so disgusted with this problem that I haven't told anyone and asked for help, because I don't want them to never want to come to my house again. But, we are going to have to tell my FIL, because we'll need him to let in the exterminators when we get out of the way for a few days, and that means my MIL will know, which means EVERYBODY will know.

The worst part? I can't even tell if all my cleaning is working. The only way to know if you've vanquished the buggers, is if you stop getting bitten. Do you want to relax with the cleaning and wait for them to bite you? Yeah, me neither.

I keep trying to keep this problem in perspective, but, boy, I am having a really hard time keeping my sh*t together. It feels totally overwhelming.

[Shannon]

@bmom, that really makes me mad that you would be denied adoption because you were in therapy. Isn't going to therapy a responsible, mature thing to do if you have a problem?

[paola]

I have only read a few of the comments on this page and hope to get some more read tomorrow and realise I have nothing to complain about in comparison to some. So please forgive me for being a sook. My complaint is that whatever I do, however much I organise my day, I always get to a point that I am screaming bloody murder at one of my two kids and/or husband and am madly trying to do a million things at the same time (with steam coming out of my ears ) How organisied does someone have to be to avoid this condition?? I am pretty organised, but just not enough it seems.

[slydog]

@hedra--Thanks for your insightful comments. I agree a lot of it is spin and that's what I try to do in front of Chicken at least so he doesn't feel the negativety that I felt from my own mom. Need to stop acting and start believing more. You always have great things to say here.

@shannon-Thanks for your persepctive. I've heard from lots of people that part time is really hard to manage. But most of the people I know give it up to stay home, not switch to full time. Staying home any amount of time is supposed to be the holy grail. So it's nice to hear another side of things.

Once again, I am reminded what a great place this blog is and how lucky I am to have stumbled on it (at the 4 month sleep regression like most folks!). Already feel less stressed. Wish all of you the same.

[Shannon]

@slydog, I actually felt like I needed to specify that I gave up part-time to go back to full-time, because I think when you tell people, "I gave up on part-time," they just assume you're giving it up to be a SAHM. Actually, I was job-sharing with another woman who quit to stay home full-time with her kids. You can imagine how guilty I felt just happily agreeing to take her workload and therefore spend LESS time with my kid. The thing I hated the most about part-time was having everybody tell me I had the best of both worlds, and then having to pretend like I agreed. It felt more like I had the worst.