It's Primal Scream Wednesday

Having huge friend crisis (friend is having crisis, not crisis between us) that makes me realize that people can be mean. Really pointlessly mean.

And about a million other stressors of big and small varieties.

Post your stress here!

Comments

[Marian]

Stressed that 14.5 month old is starting another nap strike. Makes for long and cranky days and a stressed out mommy. I know it won't last, it's a phase (she does this every few months when learning a skill or changing up nap time) but its still tres hard :(
And I just found out I have to move for husband's job. Double :(

[shirky]

I have to go to a panel interview today--with like 20 people asking me questions...I think I'm going to throw up. My kid has a cold and woke up 2375682315 times last night.

My eyelid has started twitching.

[Shelley]

I am stressed that my husband has had a fever for three days, and we have no primary physician... our doc passed away a few months ago, and we haven't done anything about it. In absence of an urgent-care place, our only recourse is the ER. ARRRGH. Meanwhile, I'm hoping I don't get it, and most of all that our daughter doesn't get it... she and I had a flu shot, he didn't (which is possibly what this is, but who knows), but have also heard that they kind of "missed" the correct flu strain this year with the vaccine. Any info appreciated.

AGGGRPHGTH

[Suzie]

My in-laws are coming for a visit tomorrow, and my house is totally not yet clean and completely devoid of food! So much to do, not enough time, feeling major pressure, won't be able to get to PPD support group today, very stressed!!!

Good to get all that out -- thanks, Moxie.

[JB]

cross-country move in one week (with cat)
3-year-old
non-sleeping seven-month-old
been dizzy for 6 weeks (though that is improving)
miserable cold
grading exams and final papers
saying goodbye to close friends
starting a new job
highest weight I've ever been; nothing fits
husband becomes snappish with stress

Hmmm. I think that's it. Phew, that was kind of cathartic.

I'll add three blessings:

kids are more fun all the time
no serious money worries
excited about the new job!

[robin]

moving cross country in 6 weeks, flying solo with 11.5 month old to Portland this weekend to look for a place to live and not finding any prospects, husband can't find an academic job in our new city so looking forward to being the sole provider for at least 3 months, planning first birthday party (which for some reason my mind thinks needs to be martha-style perfection), son stopped nursing over the weekend and my hormones are out of control, picking fights with husband over stupid details like the shirt he picked out for our son to wear this morning...generally feeling like a prickly old dried up cactus.

[jessica star]

My 4 month old is so difficult I'm having panic attacks.

[Nichole]

Money.

[LMS]

no money no money no money

[ML]

TIRED! Soooo very tired!

(Incidentally, my Chinese nickname from childhood is a variant of "tired" so perhaps this isn't that attributable to working full time, having a messy house (and lofty ideals), worrying about spending too much, and keeping up with the 15-month old.)

[MorahLaura]

I'm stressed that today is my birthday and my 13-month-old was up every 3 hours last night.

It's my birthday! I get to do what *I* want, dammit!

Ok, maybe in 5 more years...

[Bobbi]

My parents' best friend's son, for whom I babysat as a teenager, is losing his wife to inflammatory breat cancer. She's not expected to make it through the day. Trying to stop crying (besides being 32 she has 2 kids, 1 and 3 years old) long enough to figure out if I can make the trek back to my hometown for the funeral while planning the party for my daughter's first communion at the same time. So incredibly sad...

Please keep them in your thoughts today...

[Aaron]

10 month old who just got over the stomach bug is now not sleeping through the night. She was sleeping through with a 10 pm feeding now she is waking randomly. Last night she woke 10 min before her 10pm feeding and then again at 12:30. I went in right away thinking I could calm her. Yah right! That's never worked before why would it work this time? Put her back down and turned the Ocean Wonders aquarium on. She seemed to quiet down after a few minutes only to ramp it up. She did this a couple times, would quiet down for just enough time for me to doze off and them ramp it up. I let her go at it for an hour and a half then gave in a fed her a bottle. When I went in she was standing up, leaning over the rail holding her stuffed monkey. It was really cute and pathetic at the same time. I don't know if she's teething (I gave her some Tylenol) or growing, or just trying to replace the pounds she lost last week when she was sick. She is sleeping well again during the day (knock on wood), but I'm not sure what to do about the night sleeping!!

When I "sleep trained" her the first time (8 mos)she was getting up around the same time each night, now it is fairly random so I'm not sure what to do. She's also louder and way more persistent. It's going to be harder this time around, I can feel it. I guess I'll just keep extending the amount of time I let her CIO. I can't think of anything else to do. Suggestions anyone?

[Michelle]

Ugh...my heart goes out to all of you this morning! Now I will add to the "stress"!

no money
my son (2) might have Autism Spectrum Disorder
my daughter (10mo) has had diarrhea all week
my marriage is falling apart
no money
my boss drives me insane
i am the matron of honor at my best friends wedding in two weeks
no money

[JJ]

Cannot figure out stroller to get. Combi? Pliko? Seems like a stupid thing to be obsessed about, but that too is part of the stress: why is this so hard? Also, have been obsessing about this for OVER A YEAR.

[jbq+h]

Woke up with allergic conjunctivitis for the fourth time this month. Can't take anything but Claritin for it (and I'm not sure it even works) because I'm nursing my four month old. And, I can't blame her for this, my 2 1/2 year old wants to play outside all of the time.

Blasted beautiful weather and allergies that I've NEVER had before.

[Maria Wood]

Oh, Bobbi. No words, just thinking of you and your friends.

I can echo previous comments:

Money – no income, burning through money from sale of house two years ago at a very scary rate. Mean uncle sent me a bill for $21,000 for expenses related to a house I inherited a share in when my mother died 9 years ago. Major mental hurdles to making money, related to feelings of unworthiness and failure. Unable to envision employment that would cover child care costs, much less bring a net gain.

Planning major interstate move this summer to a (hopefully) more family-friendly/single-parent-tolerant/economically vibrant area where I'm hoping to find support and resources to solve some of the above problems and where my brother and his family live. Very scared about move, maybe it won't work, I'll be still isolated, still no money, and not even in familiar territory. Also dreading battle with abusive, unstable ex about the move and resulting changes to his our schedule.

Grandfather's memorial service this weekend – family stress, tension, ludicrous battles over dress code.

Daughter's pre-school ends in 5 weeks, no more automatic child care. Committed to homeschooling for a host of good reasons, but scared about ability to handle it, plus about losing child-free time. On the other hand I won't be paying tuition anymore, and I have hopes that parts of mothering will get easier without the interruptions and influences of school.

Also worried about daughter's masturbation/humping habit. No matter how many times I'm reminded that many kids go through it and it's totally normal I am terrified that she's more obsessed with it, unhealthy, I'm a bad mother, etc. etc. Also the chronic embarrassment when she tries it in other people's houses, etc.

My clothes don't fit either.

Moxie, how did you know I was obsessing and stressing today??

[rudyinparis]

My stupid ears, which have been infected on and off for the past year and I was hopeful this most recent round of meds would help and am disappointed... will most likely have to go back to the specialist. I have extreme anxiety around having my ears examined/treated due to recurring painful infections as a child... Why is this happening?! I'm trying so hard to be healthy. It just doesn't seem fair. My hearing has been impaired for so long now.... If the Gods are trying to tell me something with this illness, I can't hear it.

[Shannon]

Still just so !@#$% upset about my antidepressants and their side effects. I'm at work and I feel like I'm drunk. I don't know what to do because this is my third drug and I've been on it 4 weeks and it SUCKS. Going off seems like a bad idea, too. What is better, drunk zombie or depressed? My whole "let go and let God" thing isn't working.

[jlg]

I am stressed because there just isn't enough time! The house is a mess, DH and I both face deadlines at work, our basement is flooded, there are eight (EIGHT!) baskets of folded laundry waiting to be put away, and that is just the beginning. DH asked last night what I want to do for Mother's Day. My answer: nothing.

@Bobbi so sorry to hear about your friend's tragedy. Cancer has touched my life as well. You will be in my thoughts.

@MorahLaura Happy Birthday!

One really nice thing that happened this morning: While DH and I were very busy this morning, the two kids (4YO and 20MO) entertained themselves, laughing hysterically. What a beautiful sound!

For any of you in northern New England who are under stress - step outside for a minute and feel the sunshine. It is promising to be a gorgeous day!

[hedra]

1) End of contract coming up, may be unemployed in June.
2) Nanny for the summer issues: a) prepping the house was going to be May, but May is already booked from beginning to end (weekends), and b) if I'm not employed, she's out of work, and then if I'm re-employed I'm totally up sh*t creek for getting her back, or anyone else at that point.
3) Need to generate estimates for a dozen writing projects by Friday.
4) B needs more one-on-one, and I don't know when we can manage that.
5) Everyone else needs one-on-one time, too.
6) The invasive vines are getting ahead of me.
7) I'm sick for the second time in a week, laryngitis again, which is one of those 'signs from my psyche' things (usually), about my voice/speaking, speaking up, or something? Probably about writing THE BOOK, but I can't start until Ep finishes his licensing and that's another year and... WAHHH! (though I know what I need to do with my time if I get laid off... and unfortunately that will require still having the nanny!).
8) End of school year activities coming up - for some reason that always stresses me out.
9) B is in a horse show on Sat, and I always end up reliving my childhood and trying to keep my issues out of his way, which is remarkably hard work some days.

All of which are really fairly minor ('nibbled to death by ducks' is how my mom puts it), and put into sharp perspective by the real and terrible struggles other people are having.

On the plus side:
M and R have sprouted new intellect and language skills recently, and that's really fun to watch.
B is developing a sense of himself separate from his position in the family.
G has been showing a lot of personal character lately.
Cash flow sucks but the retirement planning is doing well.

[pnuts mama]

oh do i need this today:

have to go deal with nyc bureaucracy over work we did for my grandma's house last summer that the neighbor is complaining about and she received a buildings violation over- all we did was replace roof, siding and windows and a porch- i am the only one competent enough to deal with this (just stating a fact, not trying to be a jerk) and the whole thing is just an added stress i could do without.

found out yesterday that since i didn't finish either chapter this semester i am technically on academic probation now. wow. nothing says "blow to ego" like that for a control freak perfectionist like me. plus i feel like an idiot.

my sister has decided rather than face and deal with her financial and marital difficulties she'd rather uproot her children and move 1500 miles away from nearly everyone she knows with her deadbeat husband who i expect will someday cause her serious harm- he's already nearly destroyed who she is mentally, all he'll need to do is finish her off physically. this is killing me in a way i haven't even had time to process yet. they leave in 8 weeks and i am so angry and upset with her that we are barely speaking. i am going to miss my nephews so much- especially the 13 year old who has been like my own since he was born.

our house is still in construction phase. there is no way it will be finished before baby bean arrives. i also don't really know how we will pay to finish what needs to be done next. ugh.

hmm. i think those are the big ones. plus it's getting warm this week and i can feel it in my hands and feet. yargh.

***
bobbi- i'll be praying for your friend and her family.

[Angela]

I am relocating for a job in August, so my husband and I are getitng ready to put our house on the market. In the midst of painting and doing things that we should have done years ago (so we could enjoy them), our fridge stopped working, with a weeks worth of groceries in it. This is my fault because I was taking off the outlet switch plate without unplugging the fridge (I know!) and it hit the plug and sparked. Stupid mistake. So, on top of having to spend who knows how much money to fix it, I am stressed about selling our house in this crappy market, stressed about making enough money on the sale to afford a new (bigger) house, finding the new house, the timting of selling and buying a house, having to store all of our stuff when our house doesn't sell, living with my in laws while we try and sell our house, hurting my mom's feelings because we won't be staying with her, starting a new job, worrying about my husband finding a job, finding new daycare for my son, and oh, by the way, I have a board exam I have to take in July. That I need to do a lot more studying for.
Whew! That felt good to get all of that off of my chest, and my husband will be happy that he won't have to listen to all of it for at least one day. :-)

[Amanda]

AUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (not sure how to spell a primal scream correctly)

Drove 24 hours in three days with difficult in-laws to see the babies' great-grandparents before they pass away. Haven't finished unpacking.

My 30th birthday is tomorrow and I'm going to cancel the dinner party because of sheer exhaustion.

Started back to work two weeks ago and my four-month olds stopped sleeping well that same day.

After six months of leave (disability for bedrest plus maternity leave), my students are snarky and picky and mean to each other. I am going to have to find energy and creativity for some sort of new positive behavior management technique because the old methods aren't working.

My mother is providing daycare while I finish out the school year and she refuses to be consistent with soothing style and sleep environment. Sleep issues are exacerbated, of course.

I am running out of stored breast milk and barely pumping enough to keep up.

My babies are overtired and I miss them terribly.

I feel like a terrible person and a bad mom because I can't feel grateful all the time that I have precious, healthy daughters and a wonderful support system. Instead, I just feel utter, bone-crunching exhaustion and resentment.

I ask myself everyday: When will I be able to stop operating in crisis mode?

[Maria Wood]

Also, a minor irritation: I can't get rid of the frickin' ants!

[hedra]

@Bobbi, I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to everyone involved.

@Maria Wood, two of my kids have had the, er, self-entertainment issue. You haven't lived until you have to explain to your child that he can't invite his friends over to have 'naked time', no matter how much he thinks they'll enjoy it as much as he does. And we are cosleeping still, which means that I spend some nights repeatedly enforcing the 'no humping on Mommy's arm' rule with, er, one of the girls, who shall remain nameless for her sake. (Hope that raised at least a rueful chuckle, there...)

[caramama]

hubby out of town. Had a nightmare of a time trying to get 14 month old to sleep last night. Took 3.5 hours and neither of us went to sleep until 11. Lost my sh$t multiple times (yelling at the crying/screaming baby is not my shining moment of parenthood). Also yanked her a little roughly at one point (she was flailing her body away from me, and I just yanked her back). Made dog so upset (between baby upset and me so frustrated), she was shivering--I had to postpone her surgery to tomorrow.

Stressed about tonight and how it will go and how I will react and how fussy my overtired baby is going to be (especially cause I have to fit in a grocery trip with her after work). Stressed about dog's surgery tomorrow. Stressed about being so tired and sore that I can't concentrate on work. Stressed about how much I have to get done at work.

SO VERY STRESSED!!!!

(Wow, I needed that. Thanks, Moxie!)

Be back later to read other peoples, but need to get a lot of work done.

[mtnmama]

I have never posted here before, but this is a perfect thread for me right now. My cat died totally unexpectedly yesterday. She was 14. My DH and I adopted her from a farm when we first moved in together so very long ago. My first "baby". I am devastated.

Many other things to nibble at me (thanks for that analogy Hedra) but this is clearly the kicker.

Hugs to you all.

[Jill]

stressed that my 16 month old is FINALLY making a turnaround on sleeping, and today we're getting on a plane to go on vacation for a week! I'm so nervous about how/where he'll sleep, and how/if this will wreck all of our progress!!

Plus the plane ride itself and all of the drama around that. That stresses me out too.

[hedra]

@Amanda - trust me, you are normal for the stage of twin mommydom. Really. Really-really-really. It will be less bone-crushing later, and less crisis-mode after the 6 month point (or so - 7 months sucks again, then there's an ease-up, then 9 months sucks, then ease-up, and it continues getting more fun and less crisis as it goes - always work, less crisis). It seems like forever now, but it won't be.

Just keep a double eye out for the PPD issue, because the rates are higher for multiples moms and it can be trickier to sort out from the 'just tired/twin mom' thing. (It took me a REALLY long time to figure out I was experiencing PPD - I think 7 or 8 months old, I noticed that something wasn't right.) Resentment is a cue, though, so worth looking into that... In the meantime, at least know that the crisis management thing is normal for the 4-5 months or so phase with twins. It takes us 6 months to get to where we can do anything in any kind of orderly fashion, singletons or twins, same deal. I'm calling that normal.

[momgawaga]

mtnmama - our 11 yo cat died unexpectedly 5 months ago when our daughter was 6 mo. I don't know how many cat-mamas you have in your life, but I know firsthand how awful it can be. (I have tears just writing about this.) So from one cat-mama to another, I wish you as much peace as possible.

[Moxie]

Shannon, are you super-dosing with the nutritional support: Omega 3s (you should be doing 3,000+ mg a day), B-complex vitamin (you can get a good sublingual at Target but don't get Nature's Bounty brand because the dropper leaks), and magnesium oil (rubbing the oil on your skin, particularly your feet before you go to sleep at night, absorbs better than taking magnesium orally and helps majorly with the anxiety aspect of PPD)?

Those things should help the PPD and help your body heal more to tolerate the ADs a little better.

[jlg]

@hedra What kind of invasive vines do you have? We have Oriental Bittersweet and I hate HATE !!!HATE!!! it. I am going to make it my life's work to rid our property of the tree-killer.

@Mariah Wood I can sympathize with your ant problem. We have them, too. Nothing seems to be working to get rid of them.

[Maria Wood]

THANK YOU Hedra! While I've been (mostly succesfully) discouraging humping on me for a while now, my daughter recently discovered that it's fun on other people too! Effectively halting that without, you know, telling her she'll go blind or freaking out other children/adults has tested my parenting skills, to say the least.

[Brooke]

Tired. So tired. Moving on Friday, but we aren't done packing. 17.5 weeks pregnant so I can't even drink while we pack, also can't stay up to get stuff done. Need to call my father. 2 year old needs one on one time, but there is no time for that, so she is overtired and always climbing on me which is driving me insane. Too much to do at work to take the rest of the week off, plus trying to save vacation time for after this baby is born.

[Jan]

Went last night to have our horse's teeth floated (trimmed down so they don't interfere with her ability to eat), which is supposed to be a routine maintenance type of visit.

The vet declined to sedate her because he thinks she might not survive the anesthetic. She's 200 pounds underweight, her mucus is yellow and so are the whites of her eyes. He thinks she might be in liver failure.

We aren't quite as attached to our horses as we are our dogs, but they're right up there. I've just got this sick feeling in my stomach that when we get the blood test results (in a day or two) we're going to have to make the tough decision to put her down.

I'll be so sad. My husband will be sad (and stressed -- maybe I'll get to cope with a PTSD trigger, too). What will I tell my kids? And there's the horrible logistics of it. It's not like a house pet that you can have cremated -- I can hardly bear to think of what you have to do instead.

Crummy, crummy evening.

[Jac]

Hedra, so many of these posts are so sad (and really put my own minor problems in perspective), but your post re: self-entertainment. MADE. MY. DAY. No better way to start a day that you are not looking forward to like with a big belly laugh. Thank you!

[June]

After many, many years of infertility and loss I'm agonizing & stressing over making the choice to go ahead and have surgery to get rid of the fibroids that are making my periods unbearable, but it would also end any small chance I have of getting pregnant. I know in my heart that I most likely would never get pregnant again but I hate having to CHOOSE something that would make that a certainty!

[hedra]

@Jan - So sorry. My sister's a vet, and has seen loads of the horse euthanasias (especially with 'working' horses - she started out in cowboy country). She highly recommends making a loop of mane or tail hair for the men involved to carry in their wallets. Making a bracelet (even a so-so one) is also a nice touchstone type remembrance. Hopefully it won't be needed, but...

@Maria Wood, we emphasize the 'privacy/solitude' aspect of that activity. Encourage it actively. PLEASE do go enjoy yourself - in private. It helps a bit to balance the 'DO NOT' (public) with the 'DO' (private). I got that from a friend who stopped her son's public nose picking by saying he should go enjoy that in the bathroom, by himself. Smart moms people-do (using their momentum by adding momentum at an angle to change the behavior).

@jlg, we have Autum spendor clematis (horribly invasive in our microclimate, and does NOT DIE - even poisons won't kill it, and yes I resorted to them once - MUST take it out by the root, and get all the roots, runners, etc.), Woodbind (related to virginia creeper but doesn't turn pretty in the fall and kills trees, technically native but destructive), and japanese honeysuckle every-blessed-where. I've actually encouraged the ivy because it competes well with the others, even though I may have to rip IT out later. Oh, and poison ivy, and wild blackberry, and some vine I haven't identified yet with heart-shaped leaves and nasty sharp thorns and REALLY deep roots, just to make things interesting.

[Julie]

@Bobbi, so sad for your friend and his wife and his children. There should be a universal law that if you have children, you are immune to such horrible disasters like cancer. So unfair. I will be thinking of them all day today.

Comparatively speaking....I have nothing to add. Life is generally good, though DH needs a new job and we have no money. But hey, who doesn't need money?

[hedra]

Um, that would be autum spLendor clematis.

@June, be gentle with yourself. Even if you didn't hope for more children, actively choosing to change your self-identity from 'woman who at least MIGHT be able to gestate a child' to 'woman who cannot ever again be pregnant' is a huge transition. My mom hit that when her youngest was 17 and she was well past ever ever ever wanting to be pregnant again - but she STILL felt that the (medical-emergency-mandated) hysterectomy was pretty shattering to her identity and sense of self, as a woman and as a mother. She hadn't even realized how much of her identity was linked to that one organ, and it's miraculous, magical pottentials. She said that she realized later that menopause would have brought her to the same place she ended up, but it is a slower and gentler letting go and transition for most, not so all-at-once as saying yes to surgery was (she hemorraged from fibroids). You will end up in a good place at the other side, but the process is ... well, it's big. It's fair to treat it as the profound identity change that it is.

[hedra]

cannot spell today.

And really need to get back to work.

[Marina]

I posed the question last week about mourning over loss of intimacy with older child. I read all of your posts everyday to get me through it. Thank you all. So:

Still grieving and wanting "old life/family dynamic" back
Struggling over caring for a newborn (ie sleep deprived)
Fighting PPD (finally started meds which are making me sick, sick, sick)

[Maria Wood]

@ hedra, yes we have had many conversations about private and public, appropriate, etc… I am stumped because it hasn't worked. It turns into a power struggle, or is just unsuccesful - she stops for a minute but goes back to it immediately when I turn my back, (seemingly) ad infinitum.

Distraction has worked best of anything I guess, and maybe it's my cue to up the attention paid to her, so she's not, ah, self-soothing out of boredom. It's also clearly stress-related (went way up when my grandfather died), and maybe if I were being more successful at dealing with my own stress I'd be more confident about helping her with hers. Argh! I talked with my therapist about doing boundary stuff with my daughter and tying in to that… again, not totally clear how to put it into practice.

I know I've sent some confusing messages about this to her, and am feeling awfully guilty about that. What was that about inner growth? Therapy for 10 years or have 2 kids? NO kidding! This is really putting a light on some of my sex issues. Sigh.

[Maureen]

Wow - I feel for so many of you. It really goes to show you how strong this group of ladies are - you have so much going on and you are still great moms and people!

My stresses - Dad just visited (very stressful for me), now husband is out of town for the week so I'm on my own with the boys (that really stresses me - I'm scared to be in the house at night without my husband (I know, pretty pathetic!) and also I have this constant underlying fear of being on my own with the boys and being able to handle whatever may come up), then Mom's day weekend, my mom will be here and then my in-laws will be up on Sunday. I'm just tired... I like the visitors but it really throws off my "rythem" with the boys, getting stuff done around the house, etc.

Work is really stressful - I need my job but some things are up in the air. I need to develop more confidence that I'm marketable if something should happen. New boss - not sure what I think at this point (we are a couple months in now). I hate change. I hate that I don't deal well with change.

But on a positive note - last night (our first night with my husband on his trip), we did well. Boys were actually quite good. I was able to sleep. We got through it and only have 2 more nights.

I have the most amazing (even if challenging at times) little men in my life now, which still feels like an unexpected gift since we had such huge fertility issues.

Amanda - just piping in on the twins thing. I can honestly say, that first year was SOOO rough with the boys. I felt guilty for feeling relieved that I had to go back to work. After the first year, I finally felt like I would have rather stayed home (but not an option) but it took that long to get to that point. I still feel anxious many times and I think that is a left over result of the overriding overwhelmingness (I know, not a word but fits here) of the first year and constantly feeling like I was barely keepig (if even that) my head above water any given second and knowing we were just an inch away from complete pandamonium. Hang in there... it definitely gets sooo much easier after that first year.

[DC Ranger]

@Bobbi - I'm so sorry about your friend. Sending hugs and prayers your way...

My worries seem minor in comparison, but here they are...

My 22-month old son is hitting, shoving, head butting other kids at daycare. Recently started biting me, so worried that any day now he's going to let loose and bite another kid. Last week, our Daycare Provider's daily report actually said she was concerned about the safety of the other kids! Never dreamed a child this small could get kicked out of school, but it's starting to seem like a distinct possibility. Son is unresponsive to most discipline techniques and is zoning out a lot when talked to, so DP thinks we should get him evaluated by the county. I hoped he was just going through normal 2-year old crap but now worried it's something more serious, thanks to DP's worries. Have no idea what to do.

Feeling depressed and out of sorts for months now, but don't want to go back on Zoloft (only AD that works for me) due to side effects. Still carrying around lots of added weight from the last time I was on it and don't need any more piled on, plus having plenty of sleepless nights already thanks to DS's yowling and don't need meds making it worse.

Marriage pretty much sucking right now and we've got a BIG double-digit anniversary coming up. Feel like I need to buy or do something big for hubby but can't muster up enthusiasm to do so.

[catherine]

It took 1.5 hours to get my 13 month old to nap, so her schedule is totally off AND we're missing the expensive baby-music class I signed us up for in a fit of stupidity. But she's sleeping right now, so there's that.
Also, my mother-in-law constantly complains that we don't bring the baby up to visit her enough (1.5 hour drive, and weekends are my very busy attorney husband's only time with the kiddo, plus my MIL is only fifty-something and in perfect health and could easily come here, but won't) and didn't see the kiddo from December until April. She also complains to everyone BUT us that we don't let her have the baby "all to herself." So last night we called to see if she wanted us to come up for Mother's Day. Nope. She's "too busy." And when we said maybe we could come up another weekend and let her spend some time with the baby, she snapped that she wasn't going to raise our child for us.
ARRRRGH. That is the LAST TIME that I suggest we do something nice for my MIL.

[Elizabeth]

Just started marriage counseling and feel emotionally drained; house is a worse mess than it EVER has been and that is saying a lot and I cannot seem to find the energy to address it. Having lots of mommy guilt about how the problems in my marriage are affecting my dc. Frustrated b/c I can't seem to stick to a diet or the 60-day plan. I just feel like an all-around loser and would like to close my eyes and put my fingers in my ears and shout "I CAN'T HEAR YOU, WORLD OF ADULT RESPONSIBILITIES!! NANNY NANNY BOO BOO, STICK YOUR HEAD IN DOO DOO!!"

[Blanca]

Not an original one, money. Well, no money as somebody else said. We went over our finances last night and I don't know how the @#% are we going to make ends meet after #2 arrives next fall. Had vivid nightmares last night.

[Kay]

Funny that you should ask......

I'm going for an ultra-sound tomorrow, but not for the good reasons. Complications from my first son may have resulted in me not being able to have any more children. The complications are too many to get into, but end result is that I may not be able to become pregnant again.
This is ALL I have been able to think about.