Book ideas

So let's talk a little bit about an Ask Moxie book.

I'm not into the idea of just taking the stuff I've already written and packaging it up. I don't think this site is about my sparkling prose or poignant turn of phrase, so I'm not sure that that's the kind of book that I would read. I'd rather read something more focused. I'd also rather read something that wasn't just me writing, but also had comments from you guys, too. (I think the reader comments and interaction is what makes Ask Moxie good in the first place.)

So I've been thinking about doing a book I've nicknamed in my mind "What Sucks When" that would combine info about the developmental spurts, growth spurts, movement milestones, teething, sleeping, and all the stuff that makes babies act strange in the first two years, along with how that makes parents feel. At the end of each section, or maybe sprinkled in, would be comments from you guys about those stages, how you made it through, tips, or just commiseration (because sometimes time is the only thing that helps). It wouldn't be a how-to book, but rather a "you're totally normal and your baby's normal and this too will pass and you're doing a good job so please don't stick that pencil through your eye" book.

Do you guys think that would be useful? Would it sell?

My other issue is whether or not to self-publish. Even five years ago self-publishing would have been a sign that no publisher wanted me, which meant my book wasn't worth it. But I have so many reservations about writing for a traditional publisher. For one thing, I'm not sure that they'll really get what I'm trying to do. I'm not trying to become famous or a name. I'm not trying to promote my method* or really promote anything except having parents know what's going on so they have the mental and emotional space needed to make decisions that they feel good about for their families. (I haven't figured out the elevator pitch on that one yet.) I'm not a sound bite, and I don't think Elisabeth Hasselback would know what questions to ask me on The View.

Anyway, I'm not sure traditional publishing would get me. And you have to do all your own publicity and promotion these days anyway, so I'm not sure I know what the benefit would be to be with a publisher. I saw a couple of parenting books on the bookstore shelf last week that looked really interesting, but I'd never heard a thing about them, and that makes me worry that if I went with a publisher my book could sink like a rock and never be heard of again if it didn't make a splash in the first few months.

Also, if I self-publish my book will never go out of print, which the whole Wonder Weeks arbitrage scandal made me aware of as a potential negative event. And I could revise whenever I wanted to. And the people I know who've self-published recently have been super-happy with it.

Thoughts?

* My "method," let's recall, is "By Any Means Necessary." I'm just not sure a publishing house is going to know what to do with something that's a play on a phrase coined to foment political unrest for radical justice, you know?

Comments

[Oz]

I would be first in line to buy such a book, and would buy copies for all my friends. I certainly think there's a need and demand for just what you described - it's a hardcopy version of the sanity-saving that this blog provides, for those who aren't blog visitors or times when your internet connection is down.

I think you'd either have to find the most perfect publisher in the world, or self-publish. You have built in marketing with this site. I just wonder about the hassle of distribution if you self-publish - I don't know much about it, but it seems like a lot to handle all by yourself.

[Marta]

I think we would all buy it from this site, but that only accounts for your readership. How would you reach mass market? Would you care?
Plus, I'm glad Elizabeth Hasselbeck wouldn't know what to ask you on the view. I'd want to kick her in the shin if I saw her anyway. :)
Whatever it is, just make sure it is you 100%- don't dilute it for anybody.
Good luck, Moxie. I wish only great things for you.
Marta

[zimbabweanjen]

anyone who can write a book that makes a parent feel better about themself rather than a total freaking failure just when they are at their most miserable and worried gets my vote.so many 'baby' books reduced me to tears. what a relief to find moxie and be told for once that your coping mechanisms weren't in fact the basis for every parenting mistake that would torture you for the rest of your life while your child grew up sub human as the result of your stupidity. a moxie book would definitely be something i would buy and recommend to others, hopefully in a lucid manner rather than in the ungrammatical lengthy sentences as shown in this post! not sure how to publish though but i always think if the spirit of a project is strong the logistics will fall into place. hmm. i'm glad you and your kids didn't get squashed by the car yesterday moxie.

[Suzie]

"all the stuff that makes babies act strange in the first two years, along with how that makes parents feel."

umm... YES. I would most certainly buy a book with this as its focus, and I would give it religiously to every new parent I know! All Ask Moxie loving bias aside, your concept sounds brilliant to me, and I know it would be chock full of good, useful stuff.

As for the publishing question... I know nothing about this field, but it sure sounds like you're leaning toward the self-publishing. Go with your gut.

And for the record, I totally ascribe to your "method". :-)

[Heather]

I tend to think that if you go with a traditional publisher, they are going to "box" you up right away, i.e., make you choose a racy title, slant the content, etc. But that's my bias. Maybe a small publisher would be easier to work with. Self-publishing would give you a lot of freedom and self-satisfaction, but you would have to hustle extra hard for the publicity. And, although a stint on The View would provide a nice initial bump on sales, I tend to think that the publishing world creates shooting stars, so to speak. You do great, your book is hot, but 6 months from now you've been replaced. Okay, so I realize I'm biased, but just my two cents. Maybe your self-published friends have some creative answers for your concerns? Either way, "you are normal" books for parents are desperately needed in this day and age.

[Cobblestone]

I would buy the book in a heartbeat.

Elevator pitch - I believe it is easier to parent when you know what behaviors are generated from the parent and which are the natural development of the child. I help parents recognize when their children are doing the natural, crazy-making, wack-a-doodle thing they should be doing.

Another interesting story in self-publishing is Wil Wheaton {you know, Wesley from Star Trek}. http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/ He has done a couple of self-published and has learned a lot. I'd bet he'd share what he knew - he just seems like that kinda guy.

[Jan]

One barrier to using comments from here is that you'd have to get the writers' permission to use their words, wouldn't you? That would be cumbersome at best (and impossible at worst).

I'd love to see a book, though. I agree that the people "make" AskMoxie, but you sell yourself short if you don't think the words and tone you've cultivated here count for a lot.

[Neil]

I respectfully disagree with Heather - I know a lot of people who are now professional authors who have had good experiences publishing with a major. It really comes down to being smart, asking questions before, during, and afterwards, and making sure you choose a publisher that can pair you with an editor that really understands what you're trying to say.

The key thing a major can provide that self-publishing cannot is large-scale marketing and distribution. The reality is you're never going to get your book onto shelves at your local major chain without the help of a large publisher.

So it comes down to why you're writing a book. Are you writing it for personal satisfaction? To establish or build credibility? To communicate something you feel passionately about that you haven't seen communicated effectively in book form?

Notice I didn't say "to make money" - unless you are very, very lucky (or the writer of "The Internet for Dummies") you're probably not going to make a lot of money from getting a book published. So it really comes down to which benefits having a book out there appeals to you, and which publishing avenue can help you reach those benefits the best possible way.

Obviously there is a notable difference in the level of control between self-publishing and publishing with an established company; this really comes down to a plus-minus breakdown and what works for your goals.

Good luck!

[sheSaid]

What really bugs me about most parenting books is all the dogma. All the "if you don't do it this way your child will be ruined, your life will be over" or "all babies know how to do this/don't know how to do this" ect.

What I loved most about your site was how you empower mothers (and fathers) that they know what is best and focus on how to make the best of what you have without dogma. I never feel like I failed when I read advice here I feel like there are others like me out there and we are all doing the best we can, WITH THE BABIES WE HAVE.

Your book would be refreshing. I think the comments would be great. Self-publishing seems.... risky, since all the success and such is in your hands... but perhaps its the way to go.

[Christi]

This would make such a fantastic shower gift. I can think of so many mommy friends I'd like to purchase a copy for.

[Today Wendy]

My aunt gave me a really old book when I was pregnant, it was full of little anecdotes from parents that had been arranged into sections. I was neat to read, but a little saccharine. I think you could do a similar sort of book that could be a lot of fun to read. As for permission, couldn't you add a box to the comment section that was "permission to publish", similar to the "remember personal info"?
I'll try and remember to look up the name of the book when I get home.
Self publishing could work pretty well, since I suspect that a lot of us would buy a copy of the book as a gift for every new parent we come across.

[Amy]

YES it would sell.

And I have to tell you, I have gotten some serious mileage out of explaining to my MIL that CIO doesn't work for all babies. That some gain tension by crying rather than releasing it, and that my little child is one of the tension increasers.

Write a book for mothers like me everywhere!

[Coley]

Moxie, reading your site before my kid was born, and religiously after, has saved me so much frustration, pain and desperation.
If you can translate your beautiful advice, and empathy, along with the comments from your readership, I would buy every parent, or potential parent, a copy.

As for getting some commenters involved, you could use a few of your frequent commenters. Or for each book segment, throw a little blurb on this site and have folks email you with some language allowing you to use their comments. Just a thought, since the commenters are a really big part of what makes AskMoxie so amazing.

[shirky]

I think your method title/subtitle would actually be fine. People would find it funny, not threatening (that's how far removed we are from those revolutionary days).

i have a bias against self-publishing (self publishing will never wash away the stink of amateur science fiction).

and my 2c about the content is to go heavy on the lists of practical suggestions. The most unique thing about moxie is the "try this. then this. Then escalate to this. Then take a break. Then try this again," which never ever veers into "If you love your child it will be easy for you," territory.

[Cobblestone]

I have to admit a tiny fear... this community is so lucky to have a pretty reasonable attitude about itself. I do worry a little that the vibe here might be affected, interupted, altered by a big influx of people.

Ok. I said it. sigh.

[Julie]

I think if you took the sidebar with all the different topics and chose your "best of" within those topics and wrote a few more to round out whatever you saw was missing, you'd have a very marketable book. You would have to check with a lawyer to see if clicking "post" on a blog releases you from needing to get commenter permission to publish comments. But a box to check allowing for publication is a good idea. You might need permission from the people who ask you the questions that generate your topic......but you could also just change their names. If you decided to include the "ask" portion of Ask Moxie.

[Mar]

I agree with Neil's comment. There is much more to publishing than printing and shipping books -- and the right "fit" may just exist. I think talking with a few literary agents would be really helpful in focusing your book and your publishing plans. The right agent will lead you to (hopefully) the right imprint and the right editor. Do you have a favorite professionally published parenting-related book? A great first start would be looking at the acknowledgments page of that book, finding out who the author's agent is (they are almost always "thanked"), and then sending a pitch to that agent. If you have several parenting books whose vibe you like, do the same thing with them.

[Jojo]

Moxie, I don't mean this to be negative, but from what I can tell, it sounds like you don't want to write a book, you want a blog. You want to preserve the dialog that you have with your readers, which you just can't do in a book. The closest thing I can think of in traditional print would be doing an advice column for a magazine like Brain, Child.

Oh, and you know what would be cool? If you did an advice show on Sirius.

That being said, I'd still buy any book you published.

As far as self publishing goes? You already have a network of devoted fans who will willingly rave about you to all of their mom friends. I don't see self publishing as being a big obstacle for you.

[Joy]

My 2c on the self- vs. non- self publishing, is that to help the most people with, as Coley above said, 'your beautiful advice and empathy', and really give the practical 'I'M AT THE END OF MY ROPE AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO NEXT!!!' kind of try this, then this, etc. advice as shirky said, then I think you should definitely mass- market, and if that means major publisher, so be it. One of the people I most admire is Mary Englebreit, and how she tried and tried to get her illustrations published, and finally went out on her own, established her own company, and retains total creative control over her products. A Moxie book would be a literary thing, not an artistic thing, but she gives very good advice to artists about how to remain in control of their copyrights and trademarks, etc. Sorry this is so roundabout but what I'm trying to emphasize is that there are ways to remain in control of your intellectual product, and still reach the masses.

Further, I don't care if they ask the wrong questions or not, Parents need to hear your message, so need to see you on The View, Good Morning America, Politically Incorrect and Oprah, if that's what it takes.

Also, although 'what sucks when' is a good point to make... I think it would be selling you short to group all your info under a heading with a negative connotation like that title has... I know it's just in your head, and when you're struggling it's good to hear 'i've been there, it sucks, and it WILL get better', I think there's more to Moxie than that.

[SarcastiCarrie]

Self-publish/publish with a House... Whatever, can it be ready by November? And please include a section on Practical Breastfeeding.

[Laura]

As other commenters have said, I'm not sure the vibrant, supportive community you've established here would translate well into a book. (I'm speaking as a book editor at a large house.) The immediacy of this blog, its incredible camaraderie in the day-to-day tribulations and joys of parenting, would be hard to fix on paper. And I do think that most large publishers would try to pigeonhole you. (Visions of the acquisitions meeting: marketing asks: "Is she a Three-Martini Playdate author? Or a Baby Whisperer author?") On the other hand, should you self-publish, it would be very hard for you to break into bookstores, especially since the big chains are so skittish right now. A new author really needs a supportive marketing and sales team. I don't mean to discourage you from publishing, but perhaps a more targeted book topic might be more saleable—how to build community among other parents, for example.

[Cathy]

A book of Moxiness is a pretty exciting idea.

I would tend to think of it as "You are the best parent for your child.", which tends to be what much of your advice comes down to. I suspect that when you're ready for it, the elevator pitch will come to you (and will look very familiar to regular readers).

You should probably speak to an attorney who deals in IP issues if you're considering whether to adapt comments/questions from Ask Moxie into book form.

[meanderwithme]

@Cobblestone. Wow, I hadn't thought of that until you mentioned it. *shudders* This is such an amazing community; I'd hate to see the idjits arrive.

I agree with Joy about the positive/negative aspect regarding the title. Maybe the "what sucks" part can fit in a subtitle, but something built off "you are your child's best parent" would be great for the big title. This isn't a whining/ranting blog (okay, sometimes, but you know what I mean); rather it's a place for solutions. Well, and if those solutions happen to appear while whining and ranting, who am I to complain?

[meanderwithme]

Ha! While I read/posted, Cathy totally beat me to the punch. Yay, us!

[Dr. Maureen]

It would definitely sell. Remember, you are solely responsible for getting The Wonder Weeks back in print. I have no insight whatsoever on self-publishing vs. a publishing house, though.

[Sherry]

Laura sounds as if she knows of what she speaks. I was a book editor at a small house, which is now defunct. I think your book would sell, so I think publishers would go for it, and I don't think they would try to mess up your message. Self-publishing is too hard, I think. You do seem to be very self-motivated, but I'd still go the traditional publishing route if possible.

[Amy]

This description:
"you're totally normal and your baby's normal and this too will pass and you're doing a good job so please don't stick that pencil through your eye"

made me LOL. When I opened the post itself instead of reading it on my feed reader, I laughed again. I would totally buy a book like that...but I think that description needs to be on the back cover :)

...off to read the rest of the post...

[Amy]

OK...after quickly scanning through the comments...

Someone said something about a book not working because the value of this blog is the supportive community, the camaraderie that comes in the comments, etc. Honestly...I read a bazillion blogs and so I don't usually take the time to read through all the comments here, unless a post is *really* relevant to something I'm dealing with, or *really* unusual/intriguing. But this blog has still been really valuable/helpful to me. So that makes me think that even without the "community" aspect, it would still translate well to a book.

The basic premise you describe, including lots of sidebar comments from people here, would appeal to a new group of people different from the people who are already active members of this community--people who just don't "get" blogging or online communities. I think people like that would benefit greatly from a book that does what you're wanting it to do.

Plus, there are plenty of people like me, who are into blogging/online communities, but who don't have the time/desire to invest in becoming a part of this one (because they already are invested in others)--for us there is still valuable content here that would translate well into a book.

Does that make sense? I hope so. Best wishes, Moxie; I hope you figure out a viable solution!

[Ruth]

I think a Moxie book would be immensely valuable, especially if it included a lot of stories from real parents, which I find helpful.

I'm with Laura and Sherry in leaning toward small publisher (perhaps located via agent) rather than self-publisher. Distribution is hard work, and I can't imagine it would be worth doing on your own. Publishers add value in a lot of ways in addition to just PR.

[fahmi]

I guess I differ from a lot of the people here, but I find books that are basically, "you're totally normal and your baby's normal and this too will pass and you're doing a good job so please don't stick that pencil through your eye" book quite useless. It's handy on a website, but if I am going out and getting a book, I want some ideas on what I can do. The most valuable part of Ask Moxie for me has been the source of various things to try, because I hate just waiting for things to pass - even if everything I do is ineffectual, at least I feel like I am doing something.

This is why I felt so let down by Ann Douglas' sleep book. It was mainly anecdotal about what people are doing, but nothing I can take away.

The books I like on my bookshelf are like Wonder Weeks - actual explanation of what's happening (and why it's not my fault), things you can do at this time, and a short bit on comments from other people. This is exactly what Ask Moxie does for me - there's a question - why is my toddler refusing to eat? and concrete ideas of what to do. Anecdotes are nice and all, but we all still want that OperatingManual(TM).

[ACJ]

An angle to consider: What you do best is help new parents normalize an isolating experience through good information and good community. A book that would follow that "Moxie brand" through is a book that manages to provide good information and generate good community. To that end, would you consider building it in a "curriculum" or book group format that would facilitate conversation IRL between parents?

What I mean is, I would buy 10 books and invite my 10 new-mom friends over for coffee once a week and use the resource as a practical guide for how to manage the issue we're currently facing, plus having a more general conversation about questions like "What kind of parent am I?", "What works well for our family?" "When should I ask for help?" "What are our values?" "What are local resources that might support us in this difficulty?"

I have been tempted more than once to plagiarize from the site to do just this with a small group. Happily for my ethical dilemma, I haven't ratcheted up enough motivation, but I think it would fly if I ever got around to it.

Just a wonder...

[ACJ]

An angle to consider: What you do best is help new parents normalize an isolating experience through good information and good community. A book that would follow that "Moxie brand" through is a book that manages to provide good information and generate good community. To that end, would you consider building it in a "curriculum" or book group format that would facilitate conversation IRL between parents?

What I mean is, I would buy 10 books and invite my 10 new-mom friends over for coffee once a week and use the resource as a practical guide for how to manage the issue we're currently facing, plus having a more general conversation about questions like "What kind of parent am I?", "What works well for our family?" "When should I ask for help?" "What are our values?" "What are local resources that might support us in this difficulty?"

I have been tempted more than once to plagiarize from the site to do just this with a small group. Happily for my ethical dilemma, I haven't ratcheted up enough motivation, but I think it would fly if I ever got around to it.

Just a wonder...

[maman_du_petrus]

I would buy the book if it existed. I have been reading your blog for almost two years and the mix of Q/A, advice and comments is fantastic. I AM the best mother for our son. My husband IS the best father for our son. Period.

Baby whisperer made me cry and feel like a failure and worst of all stopped me from holding my baby as much as I wanted ("I will ruin his independence!" I thought to myself). But then I found this blog, and everything is changed.

Oh, and I would be ready to translate it in French so we can sell it here up north!

[Kait]

I think that self-publishing would be the way to go. I have a few books that were self-published by the author, and they are fantastic in quality, plus you know that the author didn't have to sacrifice any of their story/feeling/whatever because an editor said they didn't like it.

The only downside is that I had to buy it online, I couldn't get it in store (not a big downside, but for someone who likes to buy local - especially for books - it was disappointing).

[Amy]

I think ACJ is onto something ...

[megan]

um... candle party schmandle party. I would absolutely host a Moxie party. (what ACJ's comment suggests, kind of) I love that concept. relates back to a previous discussion about how to identify other Moxie moms, I think. for me the value of the book would be to integrate this community with real life. I want a Moxie mom's group in my city.

[kris]

Moxie, Not that you need any suggestions, as you're doing splendidly all on your own, but I couldn't help making one silly request...

Please consider naming your book: "you're totally normal and your baby's normal and this too will pass and you're doing a good job so please don't stick that pencil through your eye"

I was looking everywhere for a book just like that when my son was born!

[hedra]

Couple of thoughts.

1) Mass market publishers LOVE a book with a hook. If they think what makes you different will fill a need left unfilled, they'll love you (and won't try to change you so much as fine-tune/refine). Email Ann Douglas and ask her! Her stuff is popular because it is NOT what everyone else says, has no method to sell, etc. But her focus is different than yours - hers is 'here are the means, and why they're valuable and the up/down sides for each - you choose which fits you best'. Yours is less research, more commiseration, and a lot of hands-on experience.

2) Speaking of Ann Douglas, she had a panel of parents who had signed off on adding their thoughts to a book, everyone named in the book, official, and all. I've been in FIVE published books related to parenthood, now, as a panelist or contributor (they didn't all rock as much as Ann's books rock - and yes, I'm in one of hers). The legal deal isn't that hard to work out. However, just taking it off the blog comments without permission will not fly. The permissions for the comments are specifically related to publishing through this media ('republishing' electronically, I think it is called).

3) I agree that I don't think you're excited about the prospect enough. And you have another iron already in the fire. It will take a lot of work, ya gotta really want it. WE want it, but you have to want it. Until you do, blog, and mull it over.

4) Once you decide you're ready to do the work, want to co-author (or would we just annoy each other to death?)? I'm juuuuust edging into being ready to start my proposal-writing process (which will take me a year to do in micro-bites but then I'll be closer to being ready to do the real work when Ep is done with the licensing exams).

5) Self-pub is a very different world today than a few years back. I know a few professionals in the writing world, and they say there are trade-offs for each approach. Neither are necessarily bad. You're more likely to 'make it big' with a pub house, but you're also likely to be picked up off self-pub by a pub house if you start making it big-ish self-pub'd anyway. But sometimes just 'getting the word out there somehow' is the main goal, and self-pub isn't bad at that, especially if you do the low-cost-but-not-cheapest route of going through a self-pub system that has editors for hire. Tons of self-pub stuff on Amazon, and hey, that's how I find most of my books. Getting official reviews is limited in opportunities (I can't think of a major Booklist type reviewer that takes self-pub submissions, but I also haven't checked lately).

6) Writers Market has online memberships, you can do a month and see if there's a route that really fits what you want to do and how you want to work, double-check the options, do some pub house searches, etc. (if you aren't already a member, that is). It's the researching the 'right' house to submit to that takes the longest (otherwise, it is the sending and waiting and sending and waiting and sending and waiting that takes the longest).

I think more mulling is in order. Check into your resistance/hesitance, determine if it's reasonable, decide if you want to start now, or schedule starting later, or skip it entirely, or revisit regularly, or what.

And I'm still serious about a co-authoring thing. If we wouldn't hate each other later, anyway.

[Tzipporah]

1. The title is "By Any Means Necessary."
2. The subtitle is "What Sucks When." :)

3. Yes, self-publish, print-on-demand via Amazon or another online service. This model is changing, and things like "Kindle" are also becoming realistic options.

4. You could definitely be the new-mom Amway (without the evil). But failing that, everyone who comes here would buy several copies to share with friends, who would do the same, etc., etc.

[caramama]

I love the book idea just as you describe it. It reminds me of the Wonder Weeks format a bit, but broader in scope and topics. I think you wouldn't be trying to put your blog in a book but working in a different media and making it work for you. It's definitely possible, and it sounds like you've thought of a good way to make it work.

I've been really amazed at how grass-roots this site has been. It seems to get bigger and bigger mostly through word of mouth (so many people have said how they recommend this site to all their pregnant/new mom friends, right?). I think if you self-pub you won't be disappointed, especially considering why you've said you want to do it. My biggest issue with any writing has more to do with editors than publishers. To me, a good editor is so important to the success of a book, but it has to be someone you "click" with and who will get what you are trying to do.

Finally, my request: When you come up with sections/topics, maybe an area about sicknesses? For example, we just found out the Pumpkin has hand, foot and mouth disease, which mimics the same symptoms as teething but worse. So we thought it was just her molars coming in (no rash) and didn't even think anything worse until her fever spiked! Oh, also the puking stuff everyone has talked about! Just a thought.

Basically, I love what you are thinking of doing. I would buy it for everyone. I would advertise for it on my blog and help in any grass roots way I can think of, even if you go with a big pub.

[caramama]

Speaking of editing, is it grass-roots, grass roots or grassroots? You decide and pretend like I wrote it right and consistently in my last comment. hehe.

[Claudia]

I would love a book to buy for everyone.
I was thinking how it would be nice if it were on sale in B*bies * Us and other baby stores, plus included in every first order of diaper service. That sort of thing.
I'm sure the hassle of tracking all those kind of businesses would be far greater than finding nice little indi bookstores, but just had to throw that out there. You could also sell your "My mom asks Moxie" onesies at the same time :)

[meggiemoo]

I think there's no question that there's a need for your book. IMHO, no one is saying the things you've said about babies and sleep, in particular. (The dozens of sleep books I have on my shelf prove that.)

I don't think the book could be as dynamic as the site is (obviously), but it would be a good resource for new parents. The great thing about this site is that new topics are posted that relate to more experienced parents, too.

I don't know if a Moxie book club would work, though...the beauty of the Internet is that somewhere in this universe is someone going through pretty much the same thing I am. Reduce that universe to my friends, and no one is. (That could be a challenge for the book, too...how do you encapsulate the experiences of this far-flung community into one book??)

[Trope]

You could put me down for four copies! :)

[Charisse]

@caramama, oh, poor Pumpkin and what a hassle! Hang in there. Mouse has had it 2 times that I know of (at 13 mos and 2 years). Neither time escalated to anything dangerous at all, but of all the minor illnesses she's had it was the most whiny-unhappy and least sleepful. She'll almost certainly feel better in a few days. Sending you a big hug!

@moxie, I'd love to read a book by you, the one I think of that did really well was the Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy--it was there as a counterpoint to What To Expect and the really prescriptive books and bless the OB nurse who told me at my first visit to buy it. I'd love to see a manifesto or organizing guide (that's too political but it's the best I can come up with)...here's how to find community, here's how to be honest about what's going on so we all don't get unrealistic expectations, here's how to talk about things you're really anxious about without judging/feeling judged, here's the moxiemom IRL bat sign if there is one, here's how to find stuff on the site. Also, one of the things I liked about the Pantley sleep books was the data from the sleep surveys that said "x percent of toddlers still wake up at night, hence you and your child are not broken" and so forth--you could do a real service by describing the normal ranges of things like tension increase/release, separation anxiety, etc. in your snarky and compassionate way.

That said, don't do it unless you want to. We all heart you right here on the nets.

[the milliner]

"you're totally normal and your baby's normal and this too will pass and you're doing a good job so please don't stick that pencil through your eye"

This must be the sub-title of your book, I think. Gets right to the point (you know, in a bunch of words ;)) of your philosophy, I think.

Also, have to agree with Neil's comments. Best fit is important. And not to compormise on things that are really important to you. Just go in with an idea of what you are willing to compromise on and what you are absolutely not. Then stick to it.

[paola]

@caramama

Foot and Mouth???? In Aus, we have really strict quarantine regulations to guard against F&M wiping out our cattle/sheep industry, but never thought humans could come down with it, and if Charisse's mouse has gotten it twice it must be quite common. Will have to google it.
Anyway, hope Pumpkin is ok and you and hubby.

@Moxie

If you're not totally into the idea of a book, put all your energy into your blog. I'd hate your blog to suffer because you are working on something else ( and worse still, something you are not that enthusiastic about)

[hedra]

@paola, 'foot and mouth' (or 'hoof and mouth') disease is not the same as 'hand foot and mouth' disease (the human illness). None of the farm-country people I know will call 'hand foot and mouth' the shortened 'foot and mouth' version. But a lot of my more urban-raised peers seem to not know about the farm animal disease at all.

[Joy]

Not a doctor, but I think bovine Foot and Mouth is a different disease entirely from Hand, Foot, and Mouth that occurs in humans. My kids have had it a bunch and my ped said it's just a virus, like a cold, only it can give you patches on hands, feet, and mouth. Could be wrong... that's my understanding. Sorry to be OT.

[Maura]

@Paola:

Different disease. We are actually free of F&M in the US agricultural community (for now, at least). My son, however, was part of a big hand, foot, and mouth disease outbreak in his daycare over the winter. It's not so much dangerous, more of a nuisance childhood disease.

@Moxie:

I would totally buy it. And I'd buy it as a baby shower present.