Ask Moxie

60-Day Challenge Seventh Week in Review

Getting my dreams back (but not in a Hallmark card kind of way)

I used to have incredibly detailed dreams and excellent recall of them. I'd wake up and say something like, "I was walking through a forest, but not a regular forest--it looked like a cross between the redwood forest in that SUV commercial and that part of El Yunque in Puerto Rico just to the left of the door of the Visitor's Center. Anyway, I was walking through the forest and a woman appeared from behind a tree--I think it was a gingko tree, but the leaves looked almost more like willow leaves. The woman was wearing a flight attendant's uniform from the 60s....." You can see how that would be simultaneously entertaining and yet annoying to dream in such detail.

I haven't had dreams like that since my older son was born. Probably from the sleep deprivation and just being focused on other people's concerns all day long.

And I'm still not getting enough sleep and am still focusing a lot on what other people need. But somehow, my dreams have come back in the last week. I had one a few days ago about a crocheted purse (there was way more to the dream than that, but I've been haunted by wanting to figure out how to make this purse), and one last night about my boss doing a combo of stand-up comedy and rock climbing.

I wonder if this means I'm coming out of the little-kid mommy tunnel.

Any thoughts about this? Is it happening to anyone else?

60-Day Challenge Check-In Day 48

Q&A: Second child Shangrila?

Annette writes:

"Am I missing something? I had my second baby (a boy!) 6 weeks ago. My daughter is 3. So far the new baby stage has been tiring and intense, but nowhere near as horrible as it was with my daughter. Even the growth spurts and Gas Wars (DH's term) have been easier to deal with. My daughter is annoyed that I always have the baby attached to me, but she's been doing lots of playdates and seems basically fine with the situation.

I can't shake the feeling, though, that the poop is going to hit the fan one of these days. Don't people go nuts with two kids? Is it just because the baby is so young? I don't want to get cocky and then end up developing PPD later on because things got hard and I wasn't expecting it."

If there was ever a good question for a group to answer, this is it! We need data points.

For me (and my kids were the same age spread as Annette's) the first 2-3 weeks were a piece of cake, comparatively (but then I had a home birth the second time with no tears and a nice snarky midwife and my mom, and my milk came in like gangbusters and he nursed from the get-go, so it was the dream situation and I was grateful for it the entire time and still am). And he was an amazing sleeper from the get-go.

Then the new baby stuff started to kick in, and my little guy was teething in painful rashy earnest from 6 weeks until his first tooth came in at around 6 months. I'd say that the entire first year of my second son's life was really hard for me. Some of that was that my bond with my older one was so strong that it was hard for me to readjust the relationship between the three of us. Also, there was some pretty awful emotional stuff going on with me at the time that cast a pall over that entire time period. I felt truly isolated from my friends because of that emotional stuff, and also because it was just much harder to get out and to participate with the two kids.

It got easier for me, personally, when the kids started to really interact with each other, which was around 10-11 months or so. Strangely, that was the age at which they started to fight a little over toys. But I think that genuine interaction (instead of just the older brother cooing at the baby thing) was when the corner turned.

If you have two or more children, what was your experience of the first however many months with the second child? Mention the age spread of your kids, any circumstances of the birth that would affect the postpartum phase, and anything else you think is relevant.

60-Day Challenge Check-In Day 47

Dyslexia research news

Did anyone else see this article on Discovery News (free site, no registration)? http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2008/04/08/dyslexia-language.html

The first paragraphs says

Dyslexia affects different parts of children's brains depending on whether they are raised reading English or Chinese. That finding, reported in Monday's online edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, means that therapists may need to seek different methods of assisting dyslexic children from different cultures.

This is huge, since it'll be a good step in figuring out what causes dyslexia and how it works, which will lead to better treatments.

Wow

Do you know what is NOT a good idea?

To have had about 30 g of fiber by lunchtime, and then to absentmindedly eat all the dried figs that are sitting on your desk during the afternoon. (They're just so nice and chewy and sweet.) Approximate dried fig count: 15. Approximate grams of fiber that was: 30.

You can do the math there. Not pleasant. I think I'm having flashbacks to Lord of the Flies.

Cheryl, do you know why too much fiber makes a person stink? Because I definitely noticed that a few hours after Figgate I started to smell like I was two weeks postpartum (sweaty, unshowered, a little sour milk-y) and it lasted for a few hours.

Fascinating. And unpleasant. Fortunately my only plans for the evening were watching my DVR'd episode of The Biggest Loser. (Does anyone else watch? I've been rooting for Kelly the whole time, and love how she's blossomed and gotten so much self-confidence during the course of the show.)

60-Day Challenge Check-In Day 43

About this fiber thing

It's really interesting that so many of the commenters yesterday mentioned that the solution to their children's potty problems (especially peeing problems) was giving their kids more fiber.

Since I've been getting 5 servings of vegetables every day, I decided to take the next step and start looking at my fiber intake. Apparently adequate fiber intake is the lynchpin of good health. Its helps with elimination, moisture maintenance, glucose and insulin level regulation, healthy skin, and weight maintenance. It helps prevent cancers of the bowel, colon, and stomach. (And, according to this book, eating enough fiber is all you need to do to lose weight. Right.)

In short, fiber is good. Adults are supposed to be getting 30 grams or more a day. (I didn't see a figure for kids in the stuff I was reading, so if anyone knows a good benchmark for fiber intake for kids, please post it.)

I gave in and joined FitDay.com (which I don't love, but it's free and seems to work OK) to track what I was eating to see how I was doing on fiber. You'd think raw kale and spinach would add a lot of fiber to your morning smoothie, but you'd be wrong, because the smoothie ingredient that actually contains the most fiber is the frozen raspberries I've been tossing in just because I like the taste. But I've been getting around 20-25 g of fiber a day without trying very hard (except for the vegetable thing, which was hard at the beginning but isn't anymore).

I'm starting the T-Tapp 60-Day Challenge on Friday, and have decided that my game plan is consistency with the workouts (three a week) and 40 g of fiber a day (I picked 40 sort of randomly). So over this week I've been slowly trying to bump up my fiber intake so I don't cause any sudden stomach issues. The next step is going to be to try to switch around some of the things the boys eat so they're getting more fiber without noticing the difference. I think in the long run, being in the habit of getting plenty of fiber is one of the best things that can happen to them healthwise.

Anyone else interested in investigating the whole fiber thing? Thoughts? Secret recipes? Have you upped your own fiber? Have you upped your kids' fiber?

(My favorite breakfast so far is cooked quinoa, reheated in the microwave at work, with raw almonds, pumpkin seeds, and dried cranberries and a little raw honey. 15g of fiber, and sticks with you for hours and hours and hours.)

60-Day Challenge Check-In Day 42