Q&A: nanny having problems with 3-year-old

Nanny B (you think I'm going to put her real name on the internet for her employers to see??) titled this email "Nanny in despair" and writes:

"I'm an eighteen year old american girl and i just recently picked up this nannying job in [name of foreign country redacted](but the family is also american).

I've had a lot of babysitting experience in the past starting when i was 12 and it's always been relatively easy for me to relate to the children and control them, no matter what age.

However (and i've only been here for about 5 days) the 3 year old boy is a disaster! He fights everything we do: going in the car, taking baths, going to bed, putting on clothes, and even playing at the beach! I've never experienced anything like this and i don't think it has much to do with fact that i'm just the nanny because he throws tantrums for his parents too.

Hopefully you'll be able to give me some advice and/or suggestions."

OK, this really sucks for you. I can't even imagine how hard it must be to be a nanny, because you have to deal with the children, but you also have to deal with the weight of the parents' expectations, and you're a victim of however they parent. If they're not setting things up right, you're the one who deals with the misbehavior but also it makes it impossible to do your job well.

Not that I think this is what's happening here, but it is a huge problem for babysitters in general, so I just wanted to put it out there.

Now, I think there are a whole bunch of things that could be going on here.

1) He's 3. It's a notoriously bad age, which is why the Ames & Ilg book is called Your Three-Year-Old: Friend or Enemy. (My review and a bunch of funny comments here.) He's just going to tantrum sometimes.

2) He doesn't know you yet, and he could be really mad that his parents are leaving him with someone new. Time, and kindness, and being your normal fun self are going to fix that.

3) He may be missing his old babysitter. Do you know if he had a babysitter before, how long she was there, when she left, and why she left? If you can find some of that out, it might help you get into the boy's head a little. He could be absolutely heartbroken because the old babysitter is gone. Or happy she's gone but scared that you'll be mean like she was, or any other kind of combination.

4) Diet. At this age, parents start to lose control of what their kids eat. When they're teeny, you can control everything that goes into their mouths, but once they hit three there are just too many outside things going on. And preservatives, artificial colors and flavors, fake sugar, and even plenty of real, natural foods can cause radical personality changes in kids if they have problems with them. (Go read Hedra's comment in the post about juice boxes for a dramatic example of huge problems with some foods that are no problem for most people.)

I'd keep track of what he's eating for a week (everything, including gum and beverages--everything that goes into his mouth) and see if there's anything that puts up a red flag for you (lots of artificial colors, or tons of wheat) and also pay attention to his sleep.

If kids are having food sensitivities, they really can't control themselves. Think about what it would be like to be slightly poisoned all the time but still have to do all your usual stuff *and* be nice to people who told you what to do all day. I don't think I could do it.

I hope that it's the kind of situation that you can talk to the parents about. Has he thrown tantrums for long? Does it change? See if you can find out about his previous babysitter, and watch his diet. Then get back to me and we'll figure out if it's something as simple as switching parenting/discipline tactics, or if it's some other problem.

In the meantime, be of good courage. You're doing a great job. It will get better.

Comments

[Amy]

I nannied for a boy like this once. I was miserable. But here's a good tip to try: see if you can find something he loves to do that belongs to just the two of you. Anything, a long walk, an hour at the park, a special video/a stack of books... something that is just for you and him. Once you've established this "treat" you can use it to bribe him when his behavior is really bad. "Nanny will take you to do X, if you will sit in the car/play nicely/etc". It should be a treat b/c it's one on one time with him at the center of the activity. The treat might need to change with time as the original treat becomes more of a habit than a treat, but hopefully by then the number of times you have to use the treat will have diminished. Also, be sure to use the treat as a reward not as a punishment. In other words, don't say "We *won't* have special time if you don't behave!" rather "We *will* have special time as soon as we get home/ finish our lunch/finish at the beach if you can act like a big boy (or whatever it is you're trying to get him to do) until then."

My last comment is about your own sanity. I really loved the kids I nannied for (had known the three of them since birth) but I really hated being their nanny b/c of the eldest's behavior issues. It meant that I needed a lot of away time to stay sane. Make sure you get the time away you need to be at your best when you are with him.

[SJ]

Oh, how difficult, especially if the parents aren't on board. This age is so tough.

I'll add another book recommendation, which helped us recently deal with our almost 3 year old's tantrums - "From Difficult to Delightful in 30 Days" by Jacob Azerrad.
It's not earth shattering and I didn't agree with everything he said, but his basic techniques (find the good behavior and praise it often and thoroughly, and be consistent with the response to bad behavior) were excellent reminders for me of what I knew I should be doing and worked surprisingly quickly and well. We are still having some issues with hitting and tantrums, but life is WAY better and I can see my son get proud of himself when we praise his good behavior.

I want to note that I'm not talking about rewards or anything for him behaving properly, just acknowledging that he is doing so, for example, this morning I told him that I was proud of him for being so cooperative and pleasant when his Dad got him out of bed (often he has thrown a tantrum asking for me instead) and how that made the whole morning nicer for all three of us. And he just looked at me and said, yes, I was pleasant, and smiled, and we went on with the morning.

[hedra]

I so feel for you. That was my B, at 3. TOTAL hell. Anything we did was wrong, and the kid could scream, and I mean SCREAM, for up to two hours, until his voice was just a thin thread. The slightest frustration or violated expectations, and he'd emotionally lock up, be unable to cope with anything but everything going back to what it was before the lockup, and starting over. He once insisted that I un-poop, because he wanted to be in the bathroom with me while I used the facilities, and I hadn't (GASP) waited for him. OY. Screaming fit in absolute depths of despair and rage, alternating begging and screaming at me. Yeah, sommut's wrong, there!

And everything caused it. Being asked to come downstairs for dinner. Being offered a treat. Discovering it was raining. A block not looking right in the tower he was building. ANYTHING AT ALL. It was bad. And yeah, we didn't make it better, much, because when human adults are faced with that degree of rigid emotional/situational inflexibility, we tend to get exactly as rigidly inflexible right back. You're not gonna make ME change by screaming at ME. I'm not BUDGING from my line in the sand, boy. Grrr. Um, not helpful, but oh, so automatic, even if it was a 'kind, considerate, respectful' response, it was absolutely locked in. And that didn't help him learn how to cope.

So, since we didn't know why he was like this, we just floundered along until about 3 1/2, when I encountered the book The Explosive Child. Which was a huge godsend, because of three things:

1) It suggested that the problem was a lack of skills on the child's part, so it wasn't entirely our fault.
2) It identified how to teach the missing skills (spotting a meltdown before it locks up, even if that's microseconds, and then learning to calm down, and then learning to cooperatively problem-solve).
3) It helped us spot where we were doing the same things, and modeling (even in the most kind and positive ways) the same inflexibility that we were fighting. Basically, consistancy was the enemy, he needed rule-bending, adaptation, flex. Still does. (We added a timer to the computer station for turn taking, and he said, nice and clearly and calmly, that he didn't want a timer, because that would mean stopping exactly when it went off, even if he was in the middle of something - the kid needs a snooze button, he's a seat-of-the-pants flier. So we agreed to snooze the timer if he was not at a good stopping point. Still needs tweaking, but better than locked up again!)

So, I'll recommend that book. It is aimed at kids with disabilities, but frankly, any 3 year old counts - they have insufficient language, motor, and cognitive skills to function at the level they intend/want to function at - which is frustrating to the max just waking up in the morning, so anything will push them over the edge.

Obviously, as a nanny, you'd have to talk to the parents about the book, and I really dislike the title (it's demeaning and no parent wants to see their child like that). But you could also just read it separately, as part of your Nanny Library, and incorporate the tools as you go. They shouldn't violate anyone's principles unless they're really into physical punishments (it is very 'if the consequences don't work, why are you still applying them?' they really can't think of the consequences when they're locked up, so they don't HELP - they just make them feel worse later.).

It took another year and a half after that to figure out what the problem was. Fortunately, it was just dietary (and not some of the more catastrophic issues), and unfortunately, it is dietary (which means looking out for it). However, catching it now, kids tend to recognize the out-of-controlness when they misfire on their diet, and are more prone to wanting to stick with their diets (with a few exceptions). Earlier, they just want what they want when they want it.

Other books to put in your Nanny Library:

Parent Effectiveness Training (as a book on how to get cooperation without having to rely on power, probably extra useful in your position).

Playful Parenting (again, results without resorting to power - I haven't read it, but BOY is it on my hot list, highly recommended by people here).

Raising our children, raising ourselves. This one has some good techniques, but leans a bit too heavily on the 'the child will grow up to be a drug addict if you don't do this exactly right!' - ignore those parts, and look at the SALVE method, which was very useful with B as well.

Definitely the Your Three Year Old book. Good way to gain empathy for where they are in life, and to see what is age appropriate and what you can work on, so it isn't so all-encompassing.

That's where I'd start.

And then, watch the diet. Fructose malabsorption is really really common (1 in 3 or so adults have it, worldwide, MORE kids in the 1-3 year old range have it, that's the lowest function for it until old age). HFCS for B caused 'the monsters to come out' (his words), and he'd hit, bite, hurt people, say mean things, scream, have those unending fits over inconsequentials. Once we pulled it, he knew if they were coming out, and it was easier for him to get a handle on it. He also had to be told that even though it wasn't his FAULT, it was his RESPONSIBILITY - no 'license to hit' just because he'd been accidentally exposed to HFCS or fructose or sorbitol, etc. (He was much worse for a few days until I realized that he thought that because he couldn't control it, he didn't even have to TRY to control it. The difference was astonishing - he'd really been trying his best, hardest, to be kind and considerate, and was unable to break through. Very sad, poor bean.) On the plus side, once his diet was clear, he became intensely kind, considerate, etc. - like he'd been trying so hard for so long, once the gate was open, he was off like a shot. You'd never know he was the same child.

Oh, and massage (head and shoulder rubs, mainly) seemed to help him settle and focus a lot, BUT they had to be at his request. They helped him get the monsters back under control when there'd been an error in his diet.

One of the hard parts of figuring things out with fructose malabsorption is that it is a three-day run. What they ate three days ago plus two days ago plus yesterday equals what you see today. The layering of foods tends to create weird spikes of behavior issues with no apparent relationship to the trigger food. BUT, there's two things that can be done to 'check the system' if the parents are at all interested. 1) Fructose Breath Test - however, most docs won't try it at this age, since it is a foul tasting liquid they have to drink, and getting a 3-year-old to do it is tricky at best. 2) 4-day trial of a low FODMAP diet - basically corn/rice cereals, oats, white rice and white rice pasta, rice cakes, and potatoes (chips and baked, but not fries - the freezing/frying cycle brings out the fructose, sigh), plus any meat he'll eat that isn't highly processed. Oh, and Smarties - anything with dextrose is fine. Frozen concentrated orange juice (1/4 cup), lemonade (with sugar), limeade (same), all fine. If on day 4, you see no improvement at all, then that's probably not the main issue. And of course, it is a pain in the butt to change their diet even if it is your own child, and so much more tricky to suggest if it isn't.

Fortunately, not being in the US, provided they're not buying all US products, the total fructose load should be lower. Not so much issue with HFCS, especially. Apple juice and applesauce are likely to still be favorites, though, and both are total disasters for kids with FructMal. (BTW, only about half the people with this issue have any bowel problems/symptoms at all. The other half have either loose stools, cycling loose/normal/constipation, or constipation all the time - so, hard to tell what the issue is, just from the GI symptoms. Most people think they have IBS, for adults, and 'toddler diarrhea' for kids.)

Good luck. I totally feel for you. I hope you find something that works. I can say that even JUST the changes in management using cooperative problem solving really helped, at least enough to make life livable, and make me not embarassed to take B out to family events.

[hedra]

Oh, and the Explosive Child method got results in three days. THREE. On day three, he started to lock up, caught himself, held his breath for a second, and then said, 'mommy, I need help'. He couldn't do it all by himself, but MAN did he get it. (I still tear up when I remember that, because it was so powerful, and so heartbreaking to know that he'd been missing those skills and struggling on his own without ever knowing what he needed.)

[pnuts mama]

pnut isn't 3 yet, and she is just starting all this bs already. it's driving us crazy. so much of me wants to be a patient mama and bear through this phase, another nasty part of me loses my patience nearly immediately and drops down to her level and solves nothing...

she has started a thing about "her tummy hurts" whenever we ask her to do something she doesn't want to do, and that just pisses me off. and the food thing- moxie you are so right on about the food thing. making me nuts. not wanting what she's asked for, wanting all sorts of crap we rarely if ever give her, not 'liking' what she really does enjoy. ugh!!

i'm sorry i can't give you any useful advice, nanny, but just wanted to throw in some co-misery from someone who is not this kids nanny but sometimes wishes i were, just so i could hand her over to her real parents and not feel like so much crap over my failure as a mama.

[hedra]

(Oh, and keep the overall sugar content low low low, for the four days.)

Um, anyway, not that it IS Fruct Malabsorption, either. The age is 'like that', there are plenty of other causes. And even if he's not technically a Fructose Malabsorber, overloading can still cause the same results - if you see a lot of juice, fruit snacks, whole grains (and wheat, even not whole), apples, applesauce, fruit leathers, juice-sweetened foods, etc., that's a possible 'just too much of a good thing' issue (the US diet exceeds the average capacity to process fructose by about 50%, just eating regular foods and trying to be sane and reasonably healthy!).

[hedra]

pnuts mama, I do think we must have that overlapping child thing - R's leg hurts if she doesn't wanna (whatever). Whee. And even though I know how to do it right, my immediate lock-up kicks in plenty often. (Picture me on the stairs with R this morning. She wants me to carry her downstairs, she's heavy enough my knees really hurt if I try. She wants me to CARRY HER! NOW! Pleaaaaase? NOW CARRY ME! My leg hurts! I can't! And there I am going 'My knees hurt, I can't!' right back at her. Oy. Um. Sometimes I just have to walk away and try again later.)

[Julie]

Not having a 3 y/o yet I can only offer what I've observed in my sister's family with my older nephew around this age (he's currently 4 and most of this behavior has resolved itself yay!)....they are big negotiators. BIG. Anytime they wanted him to do something, mom or dad would say "I have a proposal" and the negotiations would begin. Someday this kid is going to be a brilliant mediator. What ended up happening is a huge backlash when he was with anyone else who was simply not willing to negotiate at length with him (read: pretty much every other adult in his life). My sister struggled with him in swimming, gymnastics and preschool classes. When the teacher would ask him to do something he'd either run away or throw a flat-out tantrum b/c he was not used to this type of communication. He tantrumed with his parents too.....and they finally figured out that actually all that constant negotiation was giving him *too* much power and he was really scared by it. He needed his box to be just a little bit smaller and more confined. As soon as they changed their style a bit (they still negotiate but within smaller confines) he got a little better. A LITTLE bit. Still lots of arguing and tantruming, but it wasn't this endless fit of fury that it had been before.

Like Moxie said, since you are not a parent of this kid, it might be hard to change any patterns they have set up.....but take heart. Kids are smart and they learn how to manage the adults in their lives pretty quickly. He will figure out how best to manage you and what will work/not work. Just try to be consistent as much as you can. And you have the added benefit of walking away if the situation is truly awful. His parents don't have that luxury.

:)

[Courtney]

I posted today about my son's sensory integration issues- may be worth looking into. All kids have them (all people have them), but some kids have more than others. I watched my 4 year old be evaluated by an occupational therapist last week and was surprised at many simple tasks he couldn't perform, which leads to tremendous frustration for him. Example- I bought him an orthopedic pencil at the OT office as a treat, and he came home and wrote his name on every piece of paper he could find. Apparently he was not able to hold a normal pencil!

[Moxie]

Courtney, I'm so glad you listened to your "mama voice" and kept looking for answers.

[Portia]

I'm a nanny too--it's tough starting with a new family! The last family I nannied for had a very...recalcitrant 4-year-old who was a real handful. She definitely did not want her nanny picking her up from school.
I know it's hard to stay cheerful and patient all the time, but I found the best technique for calming her down was to really listen to what she was objecting to and try to see it from her level. I.e:

4-year-old: What did you bring for snack?

Me: Pretzels and raisins!

Her: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO NO NO NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT I WANT ICE CREAM! NO PRETZELS NO RAISINS I WANT ICE CREAM!!!!!!

Me: [Instead of saying something like, "well, sorry, I only have pretzels and raisins," or "you know you can't have ice cream now,"] Oh wow! Ice cream! I'd love some ice cream right now too. Too bad it wouldn't fit in my bag. Ice cream would be yummy, though. I wish I had some in my bag for you. What else would you put in my bag?

Her: French fries!

Me: OH YUM!

Her: Ummmm....peppermints!

Me: Sounds great! What about peppermint-french fry-ice cream?

Her: (cracking up hysterically) EWWWWW!

And so on. I found that once she realized I was "on her side," she fought me way less. You of course shouldn't say anything like, "Too bad your parents won't let you have ice cream,"-- you don't even have to give him a good reason why he can't have it/do it/play with it/etc,, as long as you sympathize with him wanting it and then *immediately* make it into a game.

I hope this helps and that it's nothing more than standard three-year-old obstinance and not a bigger problem.
Good luck! I hope the parents are supportive and easy to work for.

[Portia]

I meant to mention that I came up with that coping method after reading How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk. It's a quick read-- I read it in a (short) afternoon, but oh so helpful.

[Charisse]

Very rough! Is the family newly moved to the foreign country? That could explain a lot. That aside, a couple of things we used at this age with a very stubborn kid:

-(this may actually have been a bit younger, but worth a try) little rewards--stickers or something--for not freaking out. "It sounds like you really don't want to get in the car. I understand. The thing is, we have to do it because whatever. Would a sticker help you do it without crying?"

-finding little ways for her to win. Not on the main issue if there's a conflict, but something related. This depends very much on the kid, but my daughter is one who just can. not. stand losing all the time. So, we'd set things up with "well, you do have to get dressed, and you can wear anything you want as long as it's not your pink shirt. no pink shirt, you hear?" Natural response is "NO. I ONLY WANT MY PINK SHIRT" . Then you can (make it realistic though) back down to "well, I guess if you can ask in a gentle voice I could let you wear your pink shirt". She feels she's won something, she cooperates with the rest.

-Portia's idea is a great one too--we definitely did some of that. If you can get him to laugh, he's still young enough that that might be the end of it.

Good luck!

[nanny08]

Thank you all so much for this very helpful advice, im begining to feel a lot more confident in handeling this little boy. I guess i underestimated the difficulty level i was to encounter when i got myself involoved with this job! I'm begining to identify with what makes him listen, one of his biggest fears is being alone-so time-outs work fairly well-but i can't figure out what to do when we're in the car-or out somewhere.... any more tip?
Im so glad i found this site!

[Melba]

I don't have a 3 year old but witnessed this at my sister's house just the other day:

Boy: I want the brush (the "brush" is what he calls one of my sister's scrapbooking crimping tools).

Mom: No honey, it's not a toy.

Boy: (stomping feet) I WANT THE BRUSH!

Mom: (throws tablecloth edge over crimping tool so it's out of sight) There is no brush.

Boy: (confused look) Oh... ok! (runs back to toys)

This boy is 2 1/2 and I was amazed that her trick actually worked. Not for long though... she said she was completely clueless as to what she's going to do when she can't trick him anymore. Plus she's 7 mo. pregnant. I suspect her trickery will stop working at the exact moment that her newborn baby is having a meltdown.

My munchkin is only 9 months old and I'd better go start buying some books on this because I'm terrified of what I'm going to do with her when she's that age!

[Charisse]

Oh, the thing I forgot! Look for opportunities to say Yes. It sounds like he's getting into conflict a lot--some of it's unavoidable (you do have to put your clothes on) but that can just make a kid ready to do battle at every moment. If you can say yes on little things, you may be able to get his general mood to be more cooperative.

[hedra]

Use some caution on the timeouts if being alone is a problem. That's a big deal for my B, too (he sounds like he has a similar temperment, even if it isn't the same underlying issues!). Timeouts are the ultimate weapon for him. HOWEVER, if I overuse it, he gets worse in other areas. And I have to use very very short ones - like, 6 seconds! If they're longer than that, he so pressured by them that he finds any way possible to get out/avoid them, including doing worse things than the initial problem. So apply thinly - he'll know you can do it, but you don't want to get to where you have to physically restrain him to get him into a time out.

If he's afraid of isolation, you can also use the flip-side of that to your advantage - he's into connection and togetherness. So, whereever possible, relate his experience to your experience. B loves it when I say, you know, when I was your age, I hated that, too. I did. It sucked. I understand. (OR) I have to wear my seatbelt, too. It's my job to be safe, and it is the law. Even if I don't always want to, I must. Annoying, huh?

Or even just letting him know ANY time he's being pleasant to be with that you're enjoying his company. Spot the good points. Spot any time he makes a good judgement call, or calms himself down without assistance, or helps. You don't need to heap on the praise, just say, hey, I liked how you did that, it made me feel really proud of you. Or wow, that was a really good solution. You're good at that. Thanks.

The balance between the 'if you do not, I have this weapon in my back pocket' and the 'you rock, I like being with you when you're like this' approaches may be really useful to you.

I also highly highly recommend the book How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk. It is recommended for teachers, so should work for you without you having to try to figure out how to tweak it for being a nanny. :)

For the car, a lot of what I do has to do with distraction and re-engagement. Hey, did you see that HUGE TRUCK? (then change the subject to trucks) Or playing color-spotting games (or car types - VW bugs or Minis, in the US, something not so common maybe where you are? Keep them looking out the window all the time, trying to find the next one and beat you to it. They LOVE to win on that, too.).

Good luck! I'm sure your toolkit will evolve as you go.

[hedra]

I recalled another book that might be useful - The Pocket Parent. It is JUST for kids age 2-5, and it is quick-reference solutions/ideas. It has a mini 'why they do this', then a bunch of one-paragraph ideas for solutions to try. Very positive parenting approach, purse sized (WOO!), all around winner. Not everything will work, but it is a great resource for "I never even thought of this situation, now what?" situations.

[kellie]

Girl, I can tell you that you need to take charge and responsibility in your position and have a professional talk with his parents. Make sure you know exactly what is expected of you and let them know what you expect from them. You are not their child. You are in charge of their child. This make you a VERY important person and they will respect your courage. I can just imagine how weird and scary it must be to be in a strange place with a strange family and a freaked out kid to boot. In time things will get better. Just remember - You are the adult and this is your job.

[Simone]

Where can I find my own Nanny B? I just need to say, how cool is it that you put all this effort into "parenting" children that aren't your own (interactive, invested, as opposed to just "babysitting" them), seek out help, and post to a site like this? Good for you!! I wish I could find a sitter so responsible, caring, and attentive.

[swissmiss]

How long has the family been in the foreign country? Is the boy, on top of being three, also experiencing a MASSIVE transition to a new country where everything is different? Where his favorite foods might not be available? Where the family might not have hooked up with friends for him yet? Is it a non-English speaking country? Then the boy could be experiencing a lot of frustration at suddenly not being able to understand things. Suddenly he can't understand the people on the street or the cashier at the grocery store etc. An international move can be really disruptive.

Time, the importance of a routine, finding friends and making a project out of learning about the new country might be helpful. Help him learn a few of the most important words - some food words, yes and no, please and thank you and for interacting with local kids want to play and stop that. If he's missing a favorite food find a way to get your hands on it as a comfort food every now and then.

And good luck!

[d]

I nannied for years, and I believe you can have your own 'rules', routines etc and still be aligned with the principles the parents want you to stick to. I wore those kids out with walks, garden time, helping me with chores (what three year old doesnt want to vacumn!) internal obstacle courses etc. Im a strong proponent of burning all that energy off!

I made sure that every child learnt I meant exactly what I said, and that I wouldnt react to tantrums etc. And boy do kids learn fast. Now he is only three, so he will act out because, well he is only three! But over time he will learn that you mean what you say and he can trust your promises - that he can have x after he does y, or if he is well behaved at lunch he gets to go for his walk etc. Pretty much all the time the kids were better behaved with me than their parents (which is the way it always is I think)

And if you can be calm, say yes a lot (I find 'No' to be such a trigger word.) he will get there.

And finally TALK to the parents about what they want you to do with his behaviour - get them to actually verbalise it. It makes them aware of whats happening, I did this a lot - and consitently parents WANT you to ask them. You have to be careful not to criticise their parenting, or their child - couch your questions carefully ie how do you want me to handle him if he is doing xxx. Sometimes we are so close to it we can't see the behaviour, or havn't conciously thought through a strategy...you might be the helpful catalyst that helps all of you work out what to do. Don't assume the parents are not on board...they may simply not conciously have formulated an action plan!

I have been a nanny and am now a parent who had a nanny until recently, and its so hard on both sides. Talk Talk Talk. It will help them trust you, and help you bond with them. And if you get nowhere at the very least you will have done all you can. It takes time for a little one to bond, with you but its worth it. I still keep in touch with some of the kids I nannied 20 years later, its lovely to see them grown up!

Good Luck, and I am sure you will do great, if you need any help this a great place to get it!

[Ginger]

Hi, my nephew will be 3 in February. His personality has undergone a sudden change, he is not comfortable around crowds, and yesterday when we were all out at lunch he refused to sit at the table with us, instead he wanted to ride his bike and play amongst the flowers....
He goes to playschool and when his grandparents fetch him he is often playing alone in a corner away from the other kids. Is this something to be concerned about, or is it a normal age-related problem. He is fine with one or two kids, but not crowds.
Thanks for your replies
Best wishes
Ginger

[Ginger]

Hi,
Please ignore previous post, I typed in the e-,mail address incorrectly, this is the right one.
My nephew will be 3 in February. His personality has undergone a sudden change, he is not comfortable around crowds, and yesterday when we were all out at lunch he refused to sit at the table with us, instead he wanted to ride his bike and play amongst the flowers....
He goes to playschool and when his grandparents fetch him he is often playing alone in a corner away from the other kids. Is this something to be concerned about, or is it a normal age-related problem. He is fine with one or two kids, but not crowds.
Thanks for your replies
Best wishes
Ginger

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everyone looked surprised, they thought Cheap Air Jordans Man spotted belly 100,000 troops on the mountain, want to get 100,000 troops to achieve this goal, in the chaotic? Li a place on the planet, but, Wang Cheap Air Jordans 's require large out they were expecting. Cheap Air Jordans secretly smile, in fact, anxious to get these thousands of troops, and determined to win, but, with their understanding of the nature of some difference in terminology, in the final analysis, all aimed , requires that they willingly, not under the agreement in force. the crowd because Cheap Air Jordans does not show the strength of the people immediately believe the contrary, their eyes reveal the suspect is not difficult to imagine that there is not that a slave state, but the entire ? Li planet, nor is it an era, but for generations to come, because they experienced the pain of being a slave, the heart is extremely annoying that they are slaves, hate what they become slaves and aristocrats, like the wild days Sen positions so that the liberation of slaves in the Mountain Man belly is already very great, but they never thought to liberate all the slaves, Heaven has hundreds of thousands of troops were able to use Belly Man into fierce mountain terrain to reach the dragon the two countries do nothing, but he would not dare to attack a nearby town, and their shortage of troops, not to mention a country, of course, the whole? Li slaves on the planet that is more impossible, and would like to have not thought about. Cheap Air Jordans said management is now the world's slaves, they understand what it means, that is, all countries with the world and against the nobility, on their belly Mountain Man this force, attack a town is hard, even as the capture of a town but also how, can be indifferent watching those noble slaves occupied the city, looked at them helplessly, of course, impossible, would discredit, this is all noble things, not that a state of things. easing their stress, wild days of storage Sen said: impressive, however

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