Preschool Applications Process

There's a kind of hush all over the city (New York City), as parents of 2-3-year-olds wait for their preschool acceptance letters.

I envy those of you who live in areas of the world in which you see a sign for a preschool, walk in, sign your kid up, and everything's fine. Here it's worse than applying for college.

The rumor is that New Yorkers are paranoid social-climbers who think that if their kids don't get into the "right" preschool they won't get into a decent elementary school, middle school, or high school, and therefore they'll be screwed for college and will end up leading horribly unfulfilled lives living off the grid somewhere intensely wooded (which actually sounds kind of fulfilling to me).

The reality is that more people stay in the city now when they have kids instead of moving to the suburbs, because they want to spend more time with their children and are willing to trade off space for a shorter commute. But it's extremely hard to open up a new preschool because of all the regulations, let alone being able to afford the space. So there are two to three times as many kids for the same number of preschool slots there were 20 years ago.

That means that every school is competitive, even the ones that don't want to be competitive. And if you want your kid to go to preschool, even a laid-back one, you have to play the game.

The fall before you want your child to start (and here they start either at 2 1/2 or 3 1/2), you start requesting applications. (You should already have done your research on which schools you want to apply to through a combination of reading the NYC preschool guidebooks, researching online, and talking to everyone you meet at the playground.) Some schools have applications downloadable from their websites, while the ones that really do enjoy being competitive force you to call and get on a list to have the app mailed to you. (If you call too late and they've run out of applications, too bad for you.) You fill out the application, which can be as simple as filling in the facts and writing a few two-paragraph descriptions of your child and your educational goals for your child, or as extensive as six one-page essays on any number of topics.

Finish the essay, submit it with the application fee, and wait for the call for the tour. Take the tour (dressing correctly, even though there's little face-time with the admissions people). Then you have the interview. The schools are interviewing the parents, primarily, but many schools have the kids come along for a playdate with other kids to see how they interact. Both parents (if two) should be at the interview.

Most people apply to half a dozen schools, so multiply this work so far by six. Factor in the fact that the interviews are all during the daytime, so you have to take time off work or arrange for a babysitter. Application fees range from $40-100 per school. The amount of time spent is staggering.

And then you wait.

I lucked out this year because siblings always get in. So all I did was fill out the application, send it in with the fee, and bring my younger one in for a playdate interview (to use for class placement--they don't want 15 bossy extroverts in the same class). He's going to be in a section with two of his friends, the younger siblings of kids my older one met when he was in preschool.

But I have friends who don't know how many or if their kids got in anywhere.

What's the process like where you live? Is it a full-time job like it is here? Or is it just a matter of finding a nice place and signing up? (Don't forget to mention where you live, by region and size if not specifics.)

Comments

[Amy]

yeah, Moxie ... did you mean $12K per MONTH??

Portland, Oregon. The problem I am finding here is that you really have to DIG for information on preschools. There is no good, comprehensive list, and it's very much word of mouth. There is actually one preschool that purposefully does not publicize ANY of it's information, anywhere, and the parents who somehow got it keep it all very secret. There was a news article about how fabulous it is, but it's like you have to know the secret password and follow a trail of clues across the city at midnight to find it. I still haven't.

Our method has been to decide which "method" we like (Montessori), make a list of the schools in our area of town within reasonable communting distance, and follow the various rules for getting on the waitlists. Or in some cases, the waitlist for the waitlist.

Sigh.

Oh, cost seems to range from $800 for four mornings, to $1,700 for five full days (8:30-3:00). Some offer after-care, others don't.

Infant care is almost impossible to find, and I can't tell you how relieved I am to be approaching the 2 year mark.

[MrsHaley]

Here in central PA, some preschools waitlist, but most just fill up and close enrollment. $250/wk is the average charge for an average-quality preschool.

FWIW, these kinds of headaches (application essays?!?! For preschool?! What?) are one of the (many) reasons I have a visceral distrust of preschools. Add to that the appalling lack of regulation (varies state-to-state, but if it's not state-run, most "requirements" beyond the health code are optional); the broad and subjective training requirements of the "teachers" (again, varies widely by school but not uaully state-regulated); the profilgate use of licensed characters, HFCS and CPC in places average working people can afford; and the developmentally inappropriate academic pressure some place on 2-3 year olds ... The whole setup just rubs me wrong.

I think parents have been erroneously convinced that preschool is necessary for "socialization" (a myth, IMO) and kindergarten readiness. There isn't anything a child learns in preschool that a conscientious parent can't teach at home and through playdates and library storytime. There are other individualized benefits, but not enough to jutify a full-day, 5 days a week, break-the-bank program for a 2 or 3 year old who would otherwise be at home with a parent and/or siblings.

YMMV, of course.(/endrant)

[liz]

I live in a suburb of Chicago and my son is in the second year of a preschool program run by our park district. The first year (for 3&4 year olds) was 2.5 hours per day twice a week. The second year (for 4&5 year olds) is 2.5 hours per day 3 times a week. The fee is $820 for the whole 9 month program. Since it's run by the park district, it's subsidized by our property taxes. They do arts & crafts, holiday parties, singing, and free play, but they're also learning to write letters and numbers and to know their address and phone number. The main competition is to get into the time slot you want (morning vs. afternoon) but there's no application fee or interview process. Most of the other preschools around us are run through churches or privately, but I've never heard anyone being stressed out about getting in anywhere. When I registered my son for public kindergarten (for next year), I was surprised to find out that our public school district runs a fee-based preschool program. They don't advertise at all.

[Jill]

I'm in Atlanta too (ITP), and every church (of which there is one on every corner) has a Parents Morning Out program (about 3hrs/day, choices of 2, 3 or 5x week). My children each attended starting at about 18 mo, staying until kindergarten. Some have waiting lists but there's always another to try. We register in February for the following fall, so those who don't know the process sometimes lose out. I don't attend the church where my children have gone, and don't even share their faith. But the program is great and I'm incredibly relieved that I don't have to struggle with the NYC process.

We have one public/free prekindergarten at each elementary school too. Parents of 4yo's can put their name in for a lottery drawing for 20 (no more, no less) kids in the class each year. That, of course, draws many more than 20 interested parents, but there is no lack of options if you're willing to pay. I'm not sure of the range of costs, but I suspect they don't vary considerably. Our school is ~$300 per month for 3 four-hour days.

[Rock Creek]

We're in Maryland just outside Washington DC. We have two kids in daycare (one infant, one pre-schooler) and it costs a total of $3000 a month. Which is why we are living in a small apartment and not a house. But anyway...

The pre-school is apparently really hard to get into. There are more kids than slots...and these are kids who have been in the younger classrooms in the daycare. So I think it might be hard to get in for toddlers who are just starting (for example, if a SAHP wants to go back to work).

I've heard good things about the Y in our area, which apparently has less expensive pre-school and young toddler programs that are full day. Plus they teach the kids to swim- which I really wish they did at my kids' place.

[Jill]

I'm in Atlanta too (ITP), and every church (of which there is one on every corner) has a Parents Morning Out program (about 3hrs/day, choices of 2, 3 or 5x week). My children each attended starting at about 18 mo, staying until kindergarten. Some have waiting lists but there's always another to try. We register in February for the following fall, so those who don't know the process sometimes lose out. I don't attend the church where my children have gone, and don't even share their faith. But the program is great and I'm incredibly relieved that I don't have to struggle with the NYC process.

We have one public/free prekindergarten at each elementary school too. Parents of 4yo's can put their name in for a lottery drawing for 20 (no more, no less) kids in the class each year. That, of course, draws many more than 20 interested parents, but there is no lack of options if you're willing to pay. I'm not sure of the range of costs, but I suspect they don't vary considerably. Our school is ~$300 per month for 3 four-hour days.

[Katie B.]

WHOA. Okay. I'm very glad I don't live in New York City. And that I'm homeschooling.

Posted by: Katherine | March 11, 2008 at 11:52 AM

Same here! Well, planning to, as #1 is due to arrive in June. FWIW, I probably wouldn't do preschool anyway, unless I could somehow find the means to do the pre-school programs at the Waldo school in Corvallis (I'm in Salem, OR) - which is not bloody likely.

[hush]

Downtown Chicago here. I read this in the Trib so it must be true... yuk yuk...

Looking way ahead to Kindergarten -- acceptance into the most expensive private school programs (Latin, Parker, Lab) and the most highly-selective of free programs (i.e. magnet & Montessori public schools) is ridiculously hard. Maybe not NYC hard, but hard. There are preschool family interviews/play observations involved for the former, and a lottery system for the latter unless you live in the neighborhood for the school. That said, our neighborhood Chicago public school, which is "harder to get into than Harvard," does not take neigborhood kids anymore, it's all lottery & siblings.

It is also woefully hard to get center-based infant care here. For 5 days FT infant it's about $350/wk. Thankfully there are employer-subsidies.

[Erica]

We're in a suburb of Chicago that's growing very quickly, and the number of preschools in the last few years has grown exponentially. In fact, there seem to be more open spots now than four or five years ago, throughout the area. Local park district programs are popular, there are several Montessori options available, and a lot of the churches are opening or expanding preschools. We pay 145/month for 2 1/2 hours, three days a week and we've been generally happy with the program, although we wish there was a 5-day option available. Instead, we supplement with other classes through the park district/sports facilities. We pay as much or more for the supplemental programs each month as we do for preschool.

[Moxie]

Hahahahahahahahaha. $12K a year.

Not even Manhattanites would pay $12 a month.

And in parts of NYC it's more expensive to have two kids in daycare than to have a babysitter full-time. So that's why preschool makes sense.

[Moxie]

Hahahahahahahahaha. $12K a year.

Not even Manhattanites would pay $12K a month.

And in parts of NYC it's more expensive to have two kids in daycare than to have a babysitter full-time. So that's why preschool makes sense.

[Claudia]

Holy cats.

In rural Denmark, we are in the system from pregnancy, automatically. We got an application for infant daycare which was supposed to be turned in by the time baby was 4 weeks old, to get a spot when she's around 9 months old. I forgot for a few months(sleep deprivation), and got a spot anyway. They don't take babies younger than 6 months, since everyone has at least that much leave. I took a total of about 46 weeks, and still have 2 weeks to cash in on, before she turns 2 years.

Preschool is two houses down from her current daycare. She goes to play there once a week, so she'll know it when she transfers over. They also go play at the elementary school (about 5 houses away from daycare) once a week, and will continue to do so at preschool, so they know that when it's time to go to elem. school.

I don't know what we pay for preschool, but it is subsidized by the local govt. It isn't horribly expensive, and siblings are discounted. We live in a town of about 1000, with a surprising number of young families, as compared to a lot of dying small towns in Denmark.

I am very very glad for these aspects of socialized govt.

Sorry if this is a brag, but Moxie did ask for stats...

[Claudia]

I forgot hours: preschool seems to be from 7 ish to 4:30 ish, M-Th, and to around 3 pm on Fridays. That generally correlates with people's work hours 8-4 and around 2 on Fridays.

[Claudia]

Ok, now I'm just being a jerk. I remembered that the county official in charge of signing up people for daycare came to our house to interview. And that by law, all parents are guaranteed a spot, though it may be one town over if your town is filled up.

[Tamara]

I was a personally little overwhelmed by the process here in Austin, but apparently it is much worse in other parts of the world!

My son will be 2 this summer, so I found a Presbyterian preschool near our home whose educational philosophy fits mine, and I was told I needed to show up for a drawing. They had 10 spaces, so I figured I was covered, but I was completely shocked at the number of people who were there. They were also drawing for a limited number of slots in the 3, 4 and 5 year old classes, to be fair, but there were just so many people. Every parent I spoke with had at least two back-up choices (I had zero). Fortunately for us, my son was with me and must have been a good luck charm, because our number was called right away. For 2 days a week, 4.5 hours, I will pay $185 a month.

I get the impression preschool programs in our area are geared for stay-at-homes/pt working parents. There are a few excellent day cares from what I hear, and I have never heard of a wait-list for those programs, with the exception of the University's day care, which is only for U.T. employees and students (and also, apparently, the best program in the entire area).

[Charisse]

I'm in SF. It's a bit of a patchwork--preschool typically starts at 2.9 unless you have a daycare license, in which case it can start at 2. However, some of the ones affiliated with P-8 schools start at 3.4. They pretty much all have waiting lists, and the ones that are well known and fancy have situations like "1 non-sibling spot for a girl, 200 applications". For those, I believe the process is similar to NY. They typically come with the obligations you associate with private elementary schools too--parents have to fundraise, join committees, etc.

We happened to find out about a home-based montessori in our neighborhood from friends whose daughter went there. We visited, loved it, & put our name on a post-it note (the director's application process) when Mouse was 15 months. Unfortunately (for preschool--see below for kindergarten), Mouse has an April birthday, so she was 2 1/2 when I would have liked to start her, but couldn't be accepted. She had to be on the mid-year waiting list...and she ended up getting in at 3.2, after I called the director every single month for over a year and friendly-ly testified our continuing hopes. Couldn't love it more, honestly, and it's supercheap--on $650/month plus a couple hundred for aftercare--we had been paying $1180 for toddler daycare, and $1500 for infant daycare before that.

So it's ugly, but it's actually not nearly as ugly as the kindergarten admissions process, which several of Mouse's friends who are 6 months older just went through. So, SF public schools accept kids who are 5 before December 1, but all the private schools have cutoffs August 1 or September 1; fall kids have to choose which year to go, but can only go to public if they go early. Which would be easy if you lived near a good school and could just go there...but we have a strong school choice program, so there is no guarantee of getting your neighborhood school. So there's this process where you have to tour schools (during the day of course), submit a ranking of 7 along with your demographics and enter a lottery. This year of 7 prospective kindergarteners at Mouse's school, 4 got 0 of the 7 on their list. Ouch. I am so scared about this mess next year!! (And then there's the fact that if you apply to public and private, the private schools admit and request deposits before you hear about the public in many years.) Expect me to be very stressed starting around August!!

[z]

Another DC burb person. Apparently there are 3 or 4 really big names for private schools which have pre-K and it is a big deal with the tests and interviews and special playdate observations. Now this is not first hand experience, this is information based on reading one of the area forums for parents. There are some extremely upset and stressed out parents right now.
For us panda will be 2 in sept before the sept 30 cutoff that N.VA has as opposed to sept 1 in some of the other areas around here. We have applied to a preschool at a church down the street from us which starts in Jan09 for his age group for 2 days a week 9-12. We got in but I am debating because of a comment the director made which made me v. uncomfortable.
I have also applied to another which is also in a N.Va burb which has 3 separate things. Daycare for parents needing fulltime care. Preschool for 3-4 year olds and then an ELP for 1-3 years old. We applied for the ELP where you can choose to send your kid between 1 and 3 days a week and it's 5 hours a day except in sept when it's 3 hours. We signed up to have panda go for 1 day.
In our native country I started school with montessori at about age 2.5 and went ever since. I think hubby started with nursery at 3. And obviously we are brilliant and feel our children should suffer the same burden. In reality with 2.0 coming and panda enjoying the company of other young children we just wanted him to have a place to go and play with other kids which the focus of the curriculum at these 2 places. If he doesn't get into the other place no big deal.We'll see again next year.

What's interesting is that on the aforementioned area forum someone posted an article a while back which suggested that preschool does not greatly benefit kids that much more especially if their parents have college degrees.

[Slim]

Just wanted to say that the above-mentioned forum's section on schools and preschools makes me want to weep these days. I know some overachieving parents who need to be hosed down, but I also know a lot who are really just trying to look out for there children, and I can't believe how hard it is to do so.
And I am feeling less like a wienie for not living in the District, because if I had to go through this, I would snap and run down the Mall, naked except for my child's ding letters. We're in the suburbs for the sake of our family's wellbeing, because if Mama ain't happy . . . .

[Sarah]

We lived in Milwaukee (in the city) when my daughter was 3. She had been at a great day care (and as for the difference--I think its mostly time. Preschool is short, day care is long. Preschool is just the fun parts--but directed--now we do music, now we read a story, day care is usually for a working parent. Some kids were at my daughter's program 11 hours a day. There was nap time and down time and free time in addition to many of the same programs and activities a preschool does.)

For my daughter, we wanted one of the free Montessori programs in the public schools. It is a lottery, with racial balancing, transportation needs and siblings all added as factors. Luckily, they opened three more Montessori programs in the past 10 years. Before there were roughly 4 applications for every spot. Now it is about 3 for every 2 spots. She got in. It was stressful, but mostly because I cared. All you have to do is fill out a form and drop it at the school on time. (January before the next school year).

We moved out of the city before my son turned 3. So for him, I tried to visit preschools. We were moving about 10 miles, but I was so out of the loop. I couldn't find options online. Now that we're here, I see there are many more programs. I had to apply for him the February before the school year, on a specific day to guarantee a spot. But usually 1-2 spots remain available in summer.(not that they admit this)

For his 3 year old year, he goes 2 days a week for 2.25 hours a time. It costs around $1200 for the year, which isn't bad except it is so short. Next year, he'll go 3x a week for around $1600. Only 2.5 hours a session.

[Slim]

*their* children

gah!

[midlife mommy]

Oh my goodness! That's awful. I wouldn't have dreamed that the competitiveness would start so early.

We do have preschools here, but my daughter goes to a large commercial day care. It sounds awful, but it is really wonderful. She has learned so much, the teachers are (mostly) awesome, and it sounds a lot like the preschools that I hear about that other kids go to a couple of times a week. It is expensive -- about $250 a week -- and we pay for extras classes that she seems to be interested in -- music, phonics, math, and gym. All in all, I think she'll be ready for kindergarten, if we send her to school then -- the daycare has a kindergarten with a wonderful teacher, so we at least have the option. The advantage of that is that they will teach her and take care of her while my husband and I work, which isn't quite the same as a regular school.

[stacy]

Yikes!

I'm in Lincoln, Nebraska at the moment. This place has MANY drawbacks, but it is also a bit of Nirvana for parenting. We have several preschools here with waiting lists, but it's a first-come-first-serve-with-priority-to-siblings setup. Not an apply-like-you're-going-to-college setup. The best schools have the longest lists, and there's a good chance you won't get in unless you sign up when you're pregnant. But most of the schools here are not nearly that hard to get into, and most of them are perfectly fine. If I had to go back to work in Lincoln tomorrow, I'd have no trouble finding somewhere decent to send my son.

However, we are looking to move away from Nebraska this summer. My husband is on the job hunt. His most promising prospect is in Arlington, VA, and all the comments from D.C. area parents have me spooked. I was thinking of going back to work when we move, but how in the world am I going to find quality childcare if I don't have a year or two to sit on a wait list? But how am I ever going to afford to live in the D.C. area without going back to work? The only reason I can stay at home now is because Nebraska, flawed as it is, is cheap!

[michaela]

Is it bad that my girl is 22 months and I have no freaking clue what the preschool situation is around here (outside of Portland, Maine)?

She goes to a fantabulous daycare one street over from our house, next door to the elem school she'll eventually attend. But really I have no idea what happens if at some point she ages out of daycare. The daycare is new - just two women running it in a house they bought specifically for that purpose (they live elsewhere). It hasn't even been open for 2 years, and so part of our DCP's process has been figuring out which ages she most enjoys working with. I am *hoping* she'll keep the current crop of kiddos for quite a while, but it occurs to me that hope is not such a great education philosophy on my part. Ack.

[Charisse]

At least in SF there are plenty of full-day preschools. They tend to be more interesting and instructive than full-day daycares (I don't mean academics, just variety and orientation of activities). Mouse's program runs 9-3, 5 days a week, with before and after-care offered for working parents.

[Jezer]

East Texas, in a town w/ about 100,000 ppl.

First-come, first serve wait lists are the norm here for day care and preschool. All of the reputable day cares around here follow a research-based early childhood curriculum and prefer to be called "child development centers" or "early childhood centers," so really, they're preschools too. Only the shadiest places do not have wait lists, and the wait for really good centers can be 2-4 years, depending on the place. We were lucky because we had family members who worked at one of our top choices, so our wait was only a year.

There aren't interviews, but there are tours and informal get-to-know-you conversations when you pick up and drop off the application, which usually includes basic information and maybe a few short answers. No essays, thank goodness.

[z]

~Slim. I agree that it is pretty sad to read those forums and that most parents are trying to do their best for their kids. But some of the snarkiness amazes me.
Also, until the hullabaloo started on the forum I didn't even realize pre-school and getting into is was so stressful for some people.
~ Stacy. There are options in the DC area for daycare and yes some of them have extremely long wait lists but you do have better chances at certain times of the year, or if you are going through an employer sponsor. Also, if you live in the Burbs from what I hear and read it is slightly (very slightly) better than in the district itself since most of the district slots are given to Govt employess only. Plus, there are nannyshares, and home daycares and all kinds of options for you to sift through. Though i would say it would probably take a couple of months.
I am mostly a SAHM so we don't need daycare but when i started looking at places for panda as a preschool/ptdaycare option we found some areas that had openings immediately or less than a 6 week wait. September though is the worst time of year from what the centers/providers told us.

[Slim]

Stacy-- What you have to realize is that there is a world of difference between life in DC and life in the DC burbs. Parents in DC proper often don't want to send their kids to DC public schools because many of them suck. Many parents decide to send their kids to private school from K on because they want to be sure their kids will be in a good high school (talk about yer planning ahead). Then, to be sure the get into a good K, they worry about sending their kids to good feeder preschools (which officially don't exist -- I dunno). The only kid I know who is at one of the hotshot private schools went to a regular old daycare with my son, so the preschool thing isn't essential, but to some parents it feels as though it is.
Most of the burbs immediately outside DC, and certainly the ones you'd be looking at if you're looking to live in/near Arlington, have very good public schools. Daycare is tight everywhere, but it is doable -- people do move out of the area, leaving spaces open at the last minute. And there are some plain old preschools in the burbs that could be combined with, say, a nanny share if your back is to the wall and you really want some preschool experience for your child (which maybe you don't).
Sorry for the thread drift.

[Jen]

I am shocked!!! The process you have to go through is insane! I live in Macon, GA. There are churches on practically every corner here (that's the bible-belt for ya!) and most have preschool. All I had to do to get my son in his school was call, fill out an application (which consisted of basic questions like address, DOB, parents names, allergies etc) and pay money. That is for private preschool. There is a lottery for state-funded preschool that fills up really fast. I believe it's only 4K though.
I would love to live in NYC but man it would be tough with kids. More power to you!

[carmie]

Denver suburbs here. We will probably do a public charter preschool, as there are a few good ones within decent driving distance. I put my almost 2 yr old on a waiting list at one and it's lottery for the rest of them. I've been told "everyone gets in, the waiting list is a formality."

I don't plan on starting him until he's 4, though. We're lucky in that I can stay home with him all the time, although I go to school at night. I will probably put him in part-time daycare when he's 3 so I can take more time-consuming lab courses. For what we're thinking, it will probably run about $2-300/month.

[Simone]

@rudyinparis, are you as thankful as I am for ECFE? :) I've talked to other parents in neighboring states, and I feel like that's something our state has gotten right. I'm glad that the night classes are a back-up for you. I don't know much about the High Five program, so thanks for the explanation. Also, does your district also do the "random drawings" for selection, as opposed to first come/first served? I'm not sure how I feel about it, except that they do guarantee one of your two choices. But I think it's nice that it takes the pressure off latecomers or those less organized!

[the milliner]

Man, do I feel your pain Moxie (and everyone else in the same boat).

We're in Montreal and the waiting list time for daycare is staggering. I've heard everywhere from 2 - 4 years. Just the other day, a friend told me the waiting list at one day care was 4500 names long. And all this is just to get into _a_ daycare. Forget about choice. Just poke me in the eye with a sharp, pointy object while you're at it.

My friends in other provinces are envious of our government funded $7 / day daycare in Quebec. Which is great...if you can actually get it.

And to top it off, apparently finding daycare is a walk in the park compared with finding a pediatrician. Oh joy.

[Day]

Burbs west of Boston here - and it's crazy and stressful to get in any of the local preschools - most have a lottery system or application process and we really lucked out - got in everywhere we applied, while friends of mine were waitlisted, left to wonder if/when their child will get accepted. Like you, when the littles are ready we don't need to worry as siblings are automatically accepted. But while going through this process I kept wondering how women who work are supposed to manage all of it? It's really is ridiculous.

[Megz]

Down Under here in New Zealand there's no application process, just a long waitlist, on a first come first served basis. I first started looking when DD turned 18 months, only to discover the waitlist was a year long. We're in the middle of a baby boom here, so lots of competition for only a few spaces.

She's now just turned 2 and going to creche one morning a week and loving it (it's only for 2 year olds so has a high turnover and not a long waitlist like the other places).

Cheers

[Dawn]

I live in the Philadelphia suburbs, and I think that there is more trouble here getting day care spots than preschool, although the competition for morning preschool and kindergarten (vs. afternoon sessions) is insane. Thank goodness no one in my family is a morning person!

For those of you who asked, I think the difference is that day care is generally all day care, intended for working parents. It frequently includes preschool curriculum in addition to other activities, while preschool is usually 2-3 days per week (depending on age) and is more structured for the time the kids are there.

I sort of agonized over choosing the preschool for my kids (church or synagogue affiliated, Montessori, private, etc.), but once I decided, it pretty much came down to a tour (with my daughter) plus a completed application and application fee. I think the total tuition for 3 days (2.5 hours per day) is about $1,500 this year and will be about $2,000 for next year. Super cheap when compared to Manhattan!

[Jamie]

I live in Evanston- first suburb north of Chicago and had no trouble getting my son into a Jewish preschool. There was no application fee, just a deposit. And, next year he will be in the oldest "grade" which will be about $5K/yr. for five mornings a week. There are plenty of amazing preschools here and some have waitlists, but nothing too major if one is timely.

Chris-- where do you live that preschools are 12-15K a year in the Chicago area? Never heard of such a thing!

And, to answer people's questions about why preschools are only mornings etc., I believe it has to do with the emotional needs of young children. I think the idea is that three year olds have a difficult time separating from their parents (or other primary caregivers), so they go less frequently and for a fewer number of hours. As they are older, they can tolerate separation (and exhaustion!) better-- they are less likely to get overstimulated, etc. I'm not sure how full-time daycare fits into this picture but I'm not even going to go there. Just the messenger...

[janisfan]

San Francisco here ...

YEah, it's pretty cut throat here too especially if you want your kid to go to one of the private snooty preschools (did I say that?). We pay about $1000/month for 5 days per week in a prek that offers full time hours (7:30-6).

[janisfan]

San Francisco here ...

YEah, it's pretty cut throat here too especially if you want your kid to go to one of the private snooty preschools (did I say that?). We pay about $1000/month for 5 days per week in a prek that offers full time hours (7:30-6).

[Jen]

Just out of curiosity, I decided to see what the preschool situation looks like for kids in the metro Denver area (I'm in a suburb about 15 min. west of Denver).

It's making my brain hurt!!

[&BabyMakes75]

Wow, I am praising my pre-school opportunities here in Central NJ. In my little town, there are at least six daycares and preschools, more if you count religious options, too. Prices are generally high for full-time care while both parents work (full-time generally is the option for 7:45am through 6pm, I usually use 8:30am to 5ish pm); when Little One was 3 months to a year we paid about $900/month, then switched to what we thought was a more curriculum-based real school with more activities, (turned out to be more of a business) from age 1ish to 2.5 and paid about $1,110/month. Now Little One is in a mostly traditional Montessori preschool and we pay a whopping $1,300/month with all added fees etc... yikes.

The process was smooth for all places. First place we booked while at the end of pregnancy, (around 5th month of pregnancy), for a start when baby was 3 months old. Second place we toured, booked,and changed him in a month over a summer, very smooth process except we wound up double-paying both places for about two weeks, ugh. The current place, as expected with Montessori, was much more of an application and interview process but still also went smoothly since there was space available in age group. I did have to take some time off of work for the application and interview stuff but only a total of two half days.

I feel for all of you who have such a lengthy, pricey, and time-consuming process.

[Lee]

Moxie, how did it go when El Chico getting into the school a few years back?

I'm in metrowest Boston where there seem to be plenty of preschools available. Full-time (8-6) for five days is about $1200/month. Some schools are more popular, of course, and harder to get into. And then there are the absolutely lovely crunchier schools that don't have hours that work for us working parent families.

We're currently grappling with whether or not to send my oldest to town Kindergarten ("part time" = <3 hrs/day) or private...sigh.

[Helen]

I live in DC. Our girl is almost 28 months old. We have done absolutely nothing about preschool. She has a babysitter three days a week, plays with two friends twice a week. Our sitter teaches her lots of stuff, but we're losing our sitter soon, and we're looking for new care options. And I'm pregnant with baby # 2, due in July. And we have to move, because our apartment is too small. And we don't know where we will be living. So, gah! Too many moving parts!

Moxie, could we talk about what prechools do, and whether they matter for K readiness? I'd love to just not worry about this for another year or so, maybe more. I can't help thinking that as long as kids are read and talked to when they are young, they'll do fine in school. Is preschool really necessary? (Aside from serving as daycare, or a break for parents who are home, or as a fun outlet for little kids.)

[Jen (yup, another one)]

Slim and Stacy, I just want to repeat that I do NOT want one of those hotshot schools. I just want a school where my child can socialize and get some art/music/"science"/play opportunities she won't get at home. Where I live (in DC a few blocks from the border with MD) there are only a few preschools close by and one had over 40 applicants for 4 (f-o-u-r) slots and the other had about 100 for 12 slots. The third wouldn't even return my calls presumably because they had too many applicants already.

And I don't read THAT forum because my head already hurts so much from this process. :) The little bit that leaks onto the main list is enough to make me run to a yurt in the mountains somewhere.

Like previous commenters had said, she'll probably be fine without preschool. But I think she'd have fun and I'm sad she can't have that opportunity next year.

[meggiemoo]

@stacy...don't stress too much...there are LOTS of options for daycare in the DC suburbs. I'm in Maryland, not Virginia, but I have friends in Virginia with kids in daycare, and they had lots of different ones to choose between.

The big name commercial daycares will have more of a space problem than smaller ones, or home-based ones. My advice is to see as many as possible. The ones I thought I would like were chaotic and dirty and the one I almost didn't call is walking distance from our house and soooo wonderful.

Sorry, still don't get the difference between a classroom-based daycare setting and preschool.

If you don't have access to a good daycare, then I suppose I see the benefit of preschool, but the business of children this age should be all about play. IMO, we push our kids into seriousness wayyy too early these days....

[hedra]

Mid-Atlantic, here, college town.

Overall, probably closer to Nebraska's situation than NYC or DC. And similar to Phila.

Most daycares offer a preschool curriculum, some for an extra fee (like, $20/week extra), others as part of the program. Even home daycares may offer a formal preschool curriculum (there's an education college here, and so a lot of home daycares with college early childhood ed degrees or extra courses even without degree).

And most preschools, keeping up, offer both part-day, part-week programs (for families with an at-home parent) and full-day, all-week programs with before and after care options (for the both parents WOH full-time set). The one we use (for Pre-K through K) starts with infant and goes up to K (covering a lot of the daycare option, though they take VERY FEW infants, all in all). They're Montessori, as well, and have both before and after school care, 7 AM to 5:30 PM range. And they're cheaper than most accredited programs (some of the cost is defrayed by the business being jointly functioning as a Montessori Teacher Certification program, so the money from one flows into the other, intentionally to keep the cost within sane range). That said, two kids in there next year (including the 'early-pickup' after-school care program) is over 15K for the year (with a decent sibling discount), and we still have to cover summer for all four kids. (Hello, nanny!) Thankfully, B will be off in 1st grade next year. And thankfully these folks exist, because the tuition at many of the local Montessori programs (and others as well) is way more than that (some go up through grade school, middle school, or highschool as well).

Our district has just gotten serious about adding K, half-day and full-day. But there are only a few schools that have it.

Application wasn't hard, there were slots open, they fill up, wait list a few, and usually don't have too much of a list, at least for where we are now. Just about right, I'd say.

I love Montessori, and I don't think it is 'too academic', while still letting kids run along at their own pace whether that's faster or slower than the other kids, or just a different pattern or rhythm of development. I love it. I wish we could keep our kids in it forever. We don't have that kind of money. Ah, well.

Fortunately, there are some decent public schools (many awful ones, some so-so as well), and a really great Charter school that we fortunately were within the physical feeder for. Still lottery within that (2000 applications for about 250 spots this year), but we got G in, and siblings go in automatically (they narrowly missed having to lottery the siblings in 1st, which would have been extra sucky). So B is in next year, and the girls will draw in after that, presuming no sibling lottery issues intervene. Fingers crossed. AND as I said, the school system is adding K programs at last. Which of course pulls from the preschool pools (financially speaking), but also opens up the option to maybe add a class of preschoolers as the K enrollment drops.

Mainly pretty sane, though the expense of private schools is shocking, still. In-state college tuition is cheaper than many of the preschools. Somehow that seems wrong.

[Jen (yup, another one)]

Sorry... I meant Slim & Z. Stacy, I'm not trying to freak you out, either, I think it's just VERY geographically dependent, even within the general DC area.

[Aaron]

Wow! I'm in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada - pop. 700,000. My MIL is bugging me to put my 8 month old on a list for kindergarden, but I'm like, no way! She's 8 months old for G's sake! Let her learn how to walk first! And my husband and I haven't even talked about it yet!

As for preschool we are pretty lucky. They are community based and you pretty much walk in, sign up and away you go. You can even walk in in the middle of the year and get your kid in. No worries here about that. As far as I knew there is no worries about school either (unless you go private), but maybe my MIL knows something I don't (gee, I'd hate to admit that!).

[Aaron]

Just a note on my above comment, daycare is completely different. There are waiting lists for daycare. I go back to work in September (extra long mat leave for me as I started leave in July and I'm a teacher so I don't go back until Sep). Anywho, I started looking for daycare when N was 6 months old. I have a lot of support from family so I only needed part time daycare. A good friend takes her son to a home daycare and I called and got her in for 2 of the 3 days I need. The same friend offered to take her for the third day if another day doesn't open up. Yeah! Huge relief there. I'd hate to have to send my kid to an "institution" type daycare center. Too much for a 14 month old! And the waiting lists are ridiculous. A friend of mine is already paying to keep her spot and her daughter doesn't go to the daycare for another 4 months.

Anywho, different from preschool, but same anxieties.

[Sam]

I actually work at a preschool - I teach the "older" two year olds, the kids who turn three during the school year or in the summer. It's a program based out of a church, three mornings a week, definitely geared towards SAHMs or maybe those who work part-time. I'm a little fuzzy on the entrance/application process because it's my first year, but basically you fill out the application, pay the fee (less than $100) and wait. Church members get first choice, siblings too. When my original babysitter fell through and I had to bring my three month old to the nursery, the only reason he got in was that they were holding the space for a kid that made it in but never came. (They usually don't accept babies under 9 months old, but I would've had to quit if I couldn't bring my son.) I know that this year, we basically didn't accept many new kids, because everyone in the program reapplied. Fees are $12 per day, they charge extra for those who stay for lunch, and there is a two day a week Spanish course that is also extra. There is a definite classroom approach as they get older, but in my classroom we make simple crafts, play together, work on basic skills, and go to music.

[shelli]

ANOTHER mom of a 2+ year old, and we've only looked at schools from 5 up.

OY - we are SO screwed!

[Carmen]

Sorry about the late post but WTF people!?! Is this for freakin' real? Neither my husband nor I went to preschool and we're fine (more than fine, my hubby was valedictorian of his class and now has a PhD). My younger brother went for the social interaction and it did wonders for his behavior so I'm sure it's helpful for some children but this can't be a necessary requirement for all children. Am I going to be a total freakshow for not putting my kid in preschool?