Preschool Applications Process

There's a kind of hush all over the city (New York City), as parents of 2-3-year-olds wait for their preschool acceptance letters.

I envy those of you who live in areas of the world in which you see a sign for a preschool, walk in, sign your kid up, and everything's fine. Here it's worse than applying for college.

The rumor is that New Yorkers are paranoid social-climbers who think that if their kids don't get into the "right" preschool they won't get into a decent elementary school, middle school, or high school, and therefore they'll be screwed for college and will end up leading horribly unfulfilled lives living off the grid somewhere intensely wooded (which actually sounds kind of fulfilling to me).

The reality is that more people stay in the city now when they have kids instead of moving to the suburbs, because they want to spend more time with their children and are willing to trade off space for a shorter commute. But it's extremely hard to open up a new preschool because of all the regulations, let alone being able to afford the space. So there are two to three times as many kids for the same number of preschool slots there were 20 years ago.

That means that every school is competitive, even the ones that don't want to be competitive. And if you want your kid to go to preschool, even a laid-back one, you have to play the game.

The fall before you want your child to start (and here they start either at 2 1/2 or 3 1/2), you start requesting applications. (You should already have done your research on which schools you want to apply to through a combination of reading the NYC preschool guidebooks, researching online, and talking to everyone you meet at the playground.) Some schools have applications downloadable from their websites, while the ones that really do enjoy being competitive force you to call and get on a list to have the app mailed to you. (If you call too late and they've run out of applications, too bad for you.) You fill out the application, which can be as simple as filling in the facts and writing a few two-paragraph descriptions of your child and your educational goals for your child, or as extensive as six one-page essays on any number of topics.

Finish the essay, submit it with the application fee, and wait for the call for the tour. Take the tour (dressing correctly, even though there's little face-time with the admissions people). Then you have the interview. The schools are interviewing the parents, primarily, but many schools have the kids come along for a playdate with other kids to see how they interact. Both parents (if two) should be at the interview.

Most people apply to half a dozen schools, so multiply this work so far by six. Factor in the fact that the interviews are all during the daytime, so you have to take time off work or arrange for a babysitter. Application fees range from $40-100 per school. The amount of time spent is staggering.

And then you wait.

I lucked out this year because siblings always get in. So all I did was fill out the application, send it in with the fee, and bring my younger one in for a playdate interview (to use for class placement--they don't want 15 bossy extroverts in the same class). He's going to be in a section with two of his friends, the younger siblings of kids my older one met when he was in preschool.

But I have friends who don't know how many or if their kids got in anywhere.

What's the process like where you live? Is it a full-time job like it is here? Or is it just a matter of finding a nice place and signing up? (Don't forget to mention where you live, by region and size if not specifics.)

Comments

[jessica]

Moxie this post really just scared the crap out of me. I'm in NYC, my kid is 2 years 3 months and I havent done ANY of this. In fact I've barely thought about preschool at all. I am planning to move out of state next year, do you think I'm safe starting then and forgetting about preschool in NYC entirely? How do I coordinate preschool with working?
:(

[sue]

oh my god! If that was the process, my kids wouldn't go to preschool! I'm in Ithaca, NY - a small/medium town in upstate ny, and generally wht happens here is that people visit each school (one parent, with the child) for a tour during school hours. They then fill out as many applications as they find schools that would be acceptable - there's no application fee. Generally, everyone applies for 5 or 6 schools, because the schools don't know how many spaces they'll have, since they don't know who's coming back until spring. Around May, the schools send acceptance letters and the parents choose which school their kid will go to. In June/July, a LOT of waiting list spaces open up, since all the kids were on several wait lists but can only go to one school. Pretty much everyone's kid gets in somewhere. Around Christmas, there's a big switch as peopl;e decide their preschool maybe wasn't such a great fit and move around. We also have a fairly transient community, because of Cornell, and a lot of kids leave after the Fall semester because their parents get their degrees and move away. Just to make everyone jealous, I pay $220 a month for 5-day preschool (9-12).

[Dee]

Wow, talk about a rigorous process...makes me kind of glad that I don't live in NYC.

Down here (Palm Beach county, Florida), in my particular town, there are a handful of good preschools. Alas, I live in a specific part of town that is very rural and there are only two preschools to choose from out here so you've got to get on a waiting list for the really good one of the two.

My first was on the list for 16 months before we got the call that there was a space for her. Her little sister was on the list for about 6 months and just got the call last month so now they're both in the same facility. Siblings tend to get first priority, hence the shorter wait for her to get in.

For both, I just had to fill out the app, send in the deposit, and that was it. No interview, no playdate, nada mas.

Despite the ease of getting in, it's the wait that gets stressful. I know plenty of parents whose kids are on the waitlist for this preschool and, having been there myself, I don't envy them that. Trying to find other school arrangements can be a pain, particularly since all of the other good preschools are about a half-hour or more drive from my neighborhood.

[Melba]

I'm in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.

There are waitlists for preschools here. It's purely first come, first served. No "selection" process, its just if your name is next on the list and they have a spot, you get to go. If not, your child just doesn't go to preschool. The wait lists are about 2 years long so you need to get your child's name down on a few lists by the time he/she is 1 or 2. Preschools here are for 3 and 4 year olds.

To deal with the fact that there are not enough preschool spots for the number of children that there are, the municipalities often offer preschool-like classes you can register your child in. Not as good as a full time preschool but better than nothing. These are also first come first served but no wait lists - the phone lines open for registration and you madly dial over and over until you get through and hopefully its not full yet.

We have the same problem for child care here - daycares and dayhomes are filled to capacity with year+ wait lists. It's very stressful when you are on maternity leave and need to find a way to get back to work! Thank goodness we get a full year of mat leave though which is usually enough time to find a place to take your child.

[Dee]

Sue--v jealous of $220 a month for preschool! I'm paying $1,368 a month for my two girls, for five days a week (8-5). Moxie--how much does tuition in NYC average?

[Slim]

I think in DC parents go to the Spy Museum to learn where to insert the stiletto in the other parents at the playdate.

Luckily, my kids are in daycare, which provides preschool at about the same cost as getting into one of the biggies. Granted, getting into daycare is no small feat (I have gotten on waitlists between 8 and 12 weeks, but that was with an employer in), but at least then you're done until kindergarten, and we're using public school for that, so whew.

[Moxie]

Hmmm...I'd guess the average in NYC is US$12K for five days, three hours a day. Our school is less than that both in cost and in hours per week.

[Julie]

Yes. Just talking about this this morning. As an educator, I'm at a disadvantage.....I know too much therefore I worry too much. Alex would do best at a school following the Emilia Reggio philosophy....very constructivist. It's just how he learns. We applied to all the Reggio schools in our area. That would be 3. Didn't get into 2 of them (one of them is our church!!!) and am waiting to hear from the last one. The most frustrating thing about the process is that it's a complete mystery what they go on to determine admissions. They say they want diversity - ethnic and socio-economic.....and yet, talking to parents whose kids attend those schools, that's not really the reality. So.........we submit our $75 application fee, take time to be thoughtful in our application short-answer essay answers and keep our fingers crossed. Another frustration is the fact that they don't tell you *when* you will hear from them. "Sometime in February/March" leaves quite a long time to be anxiously checking the mail and/or voice mail messages. Some schools let you know you did not get in.....others just mysteriously disappear, never to be heard from again. The private elementary schools at least all send out their letters of acceptance/rejection (and yes.....feels like rejection b/c who wouldn't want my wonderful, charismatic, funny, kind, gentle, thoughtful, creative boy at their school?????) on March 21. So at least then you know, and it's only ONE night of sleepless anxiety instead of 60 wondering Will tomorrow be THE DAY?????

And because Alex is an October baby, he's at a disadvantage b/c most schools out here start at 2.5 (southern california).....which means he'll be nearly 3 by the time they start in September, so he wouldn't be young enough to get into the first classes, with the most spots, but rather be waiting for the 2-3 spots that open up in an already existing cohort. Spots that typically go to younger siblings.

And you are discouraged from calling or lobbying in ANY way....in fact, that could possibly harm your chances of getting in more than help. So you sit quietly and wait.....and wait......and wait...........we're still waiting and now I'm scrambling to figure out what to do if he doesn't get into this last school.

And btw.....preschools here average about $1200-$1300 per month.

But I am VERY lucky b/c my mom takes care of him currently and if we don't get in anywhere we can still have him with her 4 days a week. And it's free, which is awesome. But he is needing to be with his peers.....so so ready for that social interraction. So we keep working and hoping something will come through.

[Katherine]

WHOA. Okay. I'm very glad I don't live in New York City. And that I'm homeschooling.

[Helena]

We live uptown in Manhattan, and are considering skipping pre-school for our 25 month old. She's in an excellent home daycare with three other 2-3 year olds and a 20 month old.

If you both work full-time at an office, paying for preschool and then finding before/after-care or transportation can be really costly. We're thinking we'd rather save the tuition money (would double - at least - our monthly costs for a part-time program plus someone to walk her to and/or from), and keep her in fun enrichment activities on the weekends.

Keeping in mind that we need care from 8:30 to 5:30 at least, any preschool, no matter how lovely, would be a step down for us in terms of the amount of individual attention our daughter gets. It's also a looong day to be in a 'school' environment at 3, IMHO.

I know this is radical- most parents are chomping at the bit to get their kids in preschool. I know in other cities, there are many many options, low-cost and great quality. Unfortunately, this is almost an impossibility in the city.

Gosh, so much to say on this topic if you live in NYC. I'm just scratching at the surface.

I want to add that if you are staying at home (and esp. if you have a newborn), or if you have a nanny anyway (because you work long or weird hours), preschool is probably a really good idea. There are lots of short (2 hour) programs that are not too expensive.

[Annika]

It is my understanding that here in LA you have to start the application process before you even start trying to get pregnant (this is also true of daycare). I really don't know, though, because I stay at home and we're homeschooling.

[rudyinparis]

Minneapolis, MN for me.

Well, it's stressful here, too. Preschools are associated with the public schools (i.e., housed at one of the public schools) and are called High Five. Due to funding limitations, only some of the schools have the program. And about 1000 kids apply for about 300 slots. And the kids that qualify for free lunch get priority (that's okay--I'm not making a social point by mentioning that, it's just the way it is.) Suffice to say, odds are slim indeed that Eldest will get into a High Five program for next year. We'll find out in April, but I'm not optimistic about it. I'm particularly bummed because preschool would really fit her developmental needs, as she'll be 5 next October, not starting Kindergarten until she's almost 6 and is going to be bored, bored, bored at her daycare. We're even talking about moving her and Younger to a different daycare if she doesn't get into the program, one that is structured more like a preschool classroom. But the cost difference between our cozy little at home daycare they go to now (which we like very much and which has done a great job with letters, numbers, colors, etc.), versus a larger, more structured center--well, I'm not sure we can swing it. It's tough. I'm trying not to dwell on it. If she doesn't get into a preschool, maybe we'll just have to ramp up her intellectual challenges at home and try to find more opportunities for her to be in classroom-like settings.

[shirky]

wait, is that annual, Moxie? Tell me that's per year.

[Mel]

Oh man, I am going through college applications for MYSELF right now, I can't imagine having to do it for DD at the same time! I am in GA, and I don't really know how preschool works as there is only one "Preschool" near me. (And that's preschool disguised as MMO) Most DC have "Preschool" from 9-1 and then do enrichment/playtime/be a 2/3/4 YO in the afternoons.

[Clare]

You know what? I live in Astoria, Queens, and it was a piece of cake--I walked over, filled out the form, and signed him up at a little local preschool, and it was great. And kindergarten at the same place was great. But because I knew how crazy it can get, I kept calling the school to find out if he was in and make sure they'd gotten everything he needed, and finally they were like, "You know what? Everyone got in. Stop calling us." Astoria's getting more yuppified, but not yet as bad as Manhattan or Brooklyn, and somehow there seem to be enough slots.

[obabe]

chicago here- but a slightly different point of view b/c were orthodox jews and wanted to send our kids to the local jcc (the one in our neighborhood is orthodox, as opposed to burbs where they are just jewish oriented).

the classes do fill up, but ive never heard of anyone not getting into the school.
kindergarten- there is an application process, (interviews, both child + parent, and the administrators come watch your child in their current school too) but again, we picked the private school we wanted, and honestly the school is thrilled there is an influx of new, first time parents ($$$! siblings! $$$) and are doing a great job of introducing us (courting us!) to the school- inviting us to tons of programs and the like.
preschool (5 days a week, 9-1) is about 5k. kidnergarten is 8-9kish, (8:30-3:30) i think, and first grade is 13k or so.

[Jen (yup, another one)]

Ugh. Just got our second rejection letter yesterday. And that was our only other option. Here in DC it's pretty much identical to what you described, especially for the laid-back, hippie type schools we want. More than 40 families applied for 4 spots (the other 8 having gone to siblings) at the school we really loved.

If you DO want the upscale-my-kid-has-to-go-to-HAHvad type school, there are apparently PRESCHOOL APPLICATION CONSULTANTS. I shit you not. And ENTRANCE EXAMS. And all kinds of other stuff that boggles the mind.

It's a shame, too, because our daughter would LOVE school. We're ok, but will have to work harder to find playgroups and stuff next year, especially as baby #2 is due in Sept. and we'd like #1 to have something special that is her own in the fall.

Oh, and we needed financial aid for one of the schools. First off, the process is as hideous and daunting as college financial aid applications. Secondly, we didn't qualify, which I find ludicrous - I think they base decisions on national cost of living rather than regional. Ah well.

[Shanna]

Brookline, MA (just outside Boston) - there's a range of crazy, but (un)lucky for us, we've decided we want to send our kids to the very good preschool that's conveniently located two blocks from our home. (The school is affiliated with a Conservative synagogue. We're Orthodox Jewish, but would be okay with a fairly wide range of religious or secular preschools. Interestingly enough, this preschool had a significant number of non-Jewish students until just a few years ago.) They will be starting in the 3 mornings/week toddler program in September of 2009. I'm planning to stand outside the building, check in hand, on May 9 OF THIS YEAR (when registration opens for fall 2009) to make sure we get the slots.

Except, hmmm, I probably should call and get the actual applications.

[Summer]

I live in DC, in the actual city, which is very different than being in the Virginia or Maryland suburbs. (And Slim's comment confuses me. You don't live in DC, do you? 'Cause I didn't have to knife anyone, or even threaten a bitch-slap.) The good news is that in DC, there are plenty of public and public charter options for preschool, starting at age 3, and they are FREE. Most are full-day, 5 days a week, and they're FREE. The bad news is that the DC school system is still in crisis, many of the public schools are absolutely awful, and the quality of the charters varies widely.

There's considerable competition for the slots at the best-regraded charter schools, and the pressure is even higher because the preschools are all within elementary schools, so parents are trying to a slot in a school that their child will hold for the next 7+ years. But it's a simple lottery, except for priority given to younger siblings. No stabbings, no name-dropping required.

My friends were a bit shocked when I applied to only one charter school, but I really liked the school, and knew I could get him in because it was a relatively new school, and they were admitting as many children as possible, just adding extra pre-K classes as needed.

It's not a perfect system, but I feel really sorry for all of you who don't have the option of public pre-K. If I had my way, public (but optional) pre-K would be available to every child in the nation.

[Sarah Lena]

We got on waiting lists when we found out I was pregnant. My child is now 3 mos and we're STILL waiting to get in. And these aren't even spectacular programs.. he's 3 MOS, FOR PETE'S SAKE.. these are just safe places we trust our son to be left. We're in an area of Alabama that blossomed too quickly and couldn't keep up.

[aiyim]

I'm in Memphis, TN. Most of the preschools here are affiliated with churches or private elementary schools, neither of which was a good option for our family. We moved into the area last May, and we found the right preschool for us in July, and just signed up. There were still openings (for 16 slots), but the class filled up by the time school started. There was no acceptance process, and I was just worried about my son having a safe social experience a couple of times a week... the academics aren't important to me, although he seems to be learning some new things. He only goes two days as week in the mornings (9-12), and it is $70/month.... I guess things are just different here in the mid-south!

[Tzipporah]

So what's the difference between daycare and preschool? I was talking about our synagogue's preschool with some other moms of 1-3 year olds, and said something about their hours (9-2) not being very helpful for working parents.

I got a dirty look, and one of them said, "well, it's a preschool, not daycare." (These were both SAHMs)

Mm, ok. Isn't the point of both that they take your kid, do constructive/educational/fun/hands-on/socializing type things? The kinds of activities that are age appropriate? Or are "preschools" really like little schools where they expect 3 year olds to sit at desks and learn to read? (rolls eyes)

[electriclady]

Ditto on the heart attack. My daughter just turned one, and a friend of mine whose kid is exactly a year older spent all last fall going to preschool interviews. I may have her start preschool at 3 1/2 just so I can put off the stress of NYC preschool admissions as long as possible. That, and it's hard for me to imagine thinking about "school" for someone who still routinely misses her mouth with the handful of cheese.

[SnarkyMommy]

We're in Chicago (in the city, not the burbs) and it's nearly as bad as NY. We hit a preschool fair in the fall that we paid $40 for the privilege of attending to a local parents org. Then we narrowed our choice by price -- the priciest in our area is $17,000 per year, yeah right. Then we picked two and toured, then paid $30 to apply. We find out at the end of the month. Both the schools we chose are coops, so the price is about $3,500 for two hours, two days per week.

However, we have one additional piece of luck. We live in a neighborhood with a brand-new awesome Montessori program at the public school. They have to accept neighborhood kids before the lottery kicks in and they take 3,4 and 5 year olds. And... it's FREE! So if my son doesn't get in to the two schools we applied to for the 2 1/2 year old program, he will just start at Montessori in the fall of 2009. Win-win for everyone!

[Sherry]

Not looking forward to this process. If anyone is in Atlanta and can recommend good schools or has any advice, I'd love to hear it. My parents want to give us money to send our daughter to the Suzuki School in Buckhead. My husband says he doesn't want to take her into Buckhead every day, which admittedly would be quite a pain (we live in an Atlanta suburb). I want her to be in a great environment, but not necessarily with the richest kids in Atlanta. I picture spoiled brats -- not a fair image, I'm sure.

[SJ]

outside of boston here too - very hard to find full time preschool - would have loved Montessorri, but too much $$...
I was on a waitlist for an excellent preschool nearby for over a year, but didn't get in. So we recently put in a deposit to hold a spot at a small preschool down the street from us - he's been in family daycare this whole time, which is great, but he needs more structure, and more older kids. This preschool is nothing fancy but should fit the bill - I feel a little guilty about it but I think in the long run less stressed out parents (by $, difficult commute if Montessori, etc) is probably better for him than a "better" preschool.

[Sherry]

I should say (before I sound bratty myself) that I'm VERY grateful that my parents are offering to help with my daughter's school. We would have a hard time even swinging $6,000 a year. I make almost $50,000 a year and my husband makes about $10,000. With an Atlanta mortgage, that only goes so far.

[enu]

The whole college app thing is really not so bad (as long as you aren't in the have-to-get-into-Princeton segment of the population.) Visiting colleges is a lot of fun. And it is my firm belief that there are any number of schools which will work out just fine for any particular kid, not just one perfect school. (Except in my case. There was only one perfect college ;-) )

So don't worry too far in the future - NYC (and even non-NYC) preschools sound much more unpleasant an application process. Once you get through this, getting little one into college, piece of cake.

[Julie]

(sigh) free. That word almost gets the same reaction from me as "As soon as I finish the dishes I'll climb into bed and give you a headrub".

[Jan]

I'm in the Seattle area (north of) and I find this description slightly horrifying. Way to marginalize the lower socio-economic classes EVEN EARLIER, NYC. Yikes.

@Tzipporah: My kids go to a daycare that also has a preschool program. We looked into both, and the director told me that the curriculum is identical. The kids that are there all day have outside play time, nap, lunch, inside free play and the 'academic' stuff. The kids that just come for preschool (8:30 - 12) skip most of that and do the 'academic' 'work' in full.

We pay about $1100/month for our kids for daycare. They are 2 and 3 1/2 and they go 3 days a week. I believe about $75 of that pays for their school lunch (which is optional, which I appreciate). There is a learning curriculum in both classrooms, but the older kids definitely have more emphasis on it. We are outside of Seattle a bit, and I understand rates are higher closer to downtown.

I've never heard of anybody in my area having trouble finding a preschool, but I know there's a waiting list at my kids' daycare/preschool and I also know that folks that live in the city more do find waiting lists for the more desirable programs.

[Ewokmama]

I'm in northern California. I don't think we're big on preschool here but perhaps I just am ignorant on the subject or maybe it has something to do with income level? I didn't go to preschool, and neither did my husband (from Wisconsin). I don't understand the necessity if you are already doing the things that preschool teaches. Our son goes to daycare so it seems like he is getting the same interaction with smaller ratios. He is 20 months and knows his shapes, is getting familiar with numbers, and starting on ABCs (he knows A and B, hee hee). Why would I send him to preschool?

[Simone]

We, too, are in MN--a NW suburb of Minneapolis. It's amazing to me that there is such a difference in the process, even in the same metro area. We are about 25 minutes outside Minneapolis, and there are PLENTY of preschool choices for us. In fact, it's almost overwhelming, because for me, I didn't know where to start. Most local churches have their own programs, which range from 1 day/week to 3 days/week, anywhere from 2 to 4 hours. Then there are the Montessori schools (only two that I know of that I would attend), the preschool programs offered at both day care centers and home daycares (providers are applying for "curriculum" packages to accomodate their kids)...not to mention the most popular up here, which is the "School Readiness Preschool" program offered through our school district. (I think it's our district's version of rudyinparis' High Five program), but it's LOTS less competitive. In fact, when you apply, you put your 1st and 2nd choice location in, and you are gauranteed to get into one. In this program, there are about a dozen locations, with varying lengths in school week and hours. We ourselves are "upgrading" from 2 days/week (2 hours) to 3 days/week (2 hours) next year. We happened to get our first choice. So after reading everyone else's struggles, it sounds like I'm on the luckier end of the spectrum with regard to choice and availability!

[JJ]

I'm outside of Boston too, and I figure I would segue my now-9-mo daughter from day care to preschool when the time comes, wherever she's in day care. The place I really want her (closest to home and better $rate) I've been on the waiting list since the beginning of my 2nd trimester. I figure she'll get in just about in time for preschool.

[Jen]

Here in Queens all we had to do was meet with the school and fill out a very basic application. Easy-peasy. There are a limited number of spots at my daughter's preschool but we had no problems getting her in.
We did look at one school here where the director tried to tell me I was holding my kid back by not starting her at 2 and that the other kids would ridicule her if she started later, but obviously we didn't choose that program.

[AmericanFamily]

Columbus Ohio

There are only 3 or 4 preschools here that have waitlists, to my knowledge. I didn't care for any of them, though I did look.

In the end, we just walked in, observed a class and signed our daughter up for the 5 morning a week montessori school she has attended for the last 2 years. And we are only pay about $350 a month.

I will just chalk this up as one more reason I am glad I don't live in a big city!

[Cloud]

I'm in San Diego, CA. We're planning to do preschool at the same place as we're currently doing day care. We got on the wait list when I was ~6 months pregnant and were told we were a bit late, but we got in no problem. Our only concern was that there are only a few day care centers near the area where we (and almost all the other scientists and techies in San Diego) work. Day care centers in this area have waiting lists, but some of the ones we looked into further from the biotech/tech center would have let us walk right in.

[Liza]

Atlanta Inner Ring Suburb/ "ITP" for locals:

The competition here is more for day care than preschool. As the kids get older, space becomes more available, and we have lottery-subsidized pre-K.

I got on 3 waiting lists while less than 5 months pregnant and only got into one place with my first. (And that 2.5 months after my FMLA leave was over -- we juggled and temp-nannied for the gap.)

I'm not in love with where we are now, but it's tolerable. I'm still on waiting lists, and now more waiting lists with baby #2 due in September.

[meggiemoo]

I'm in Maryland, about 45 minutes outside of DC. OK, this fascinates me, because really, someone PLEASE tell me, what is the deal with preschool??

I honestly don't get it. My toddler attends an excellent classroom-based daycare with a large group of other toddlers where they learn, color, play, go outside, sing songs, etc. He's there from 8:30 - 5:30 (naps for 2 hours).

So...what is the difference? I've had many friends go through this frantic process of preschool and then stress about how they'll arrange drop-off and pick-up (if they're WOHM moms).

(I pay about $800 a month for daycare, BTW.)

[Linda]

Holy freaking cow re: cost and application process in some places.

I'm in a medium sized city (half a million people in the city proper plus surrounding suburbs) in the northern midwest and here is what I did:

My friend's neighbor recommended a preschool. I called the school and visited (with my kids) during a 3-year-old class. Then I filled out the application and paid $50/kid (I get that money back in May). Done.

I pay $110 per kid per month, but I get $20 off since I have 2 in the same school. So bottom line of $200/month.

[paola]

I'm in a small town out of Milan Italy.

It's pretty much the same thing too. In my town we have 2 preschool/kindergartens (3-5 year olds), one public, the other private Catholic, and loads of private creches/preschools (3 months to 3 years). All are open to town residents. The public preschool/kinder is excellent and has a great reputation in the area. Only problem is that there are more kids applying than there are places and so if you want your 3 year old to get into a preschool in town and you can't get into the public one, you have to send them to the Catholic one which cost around €140 ($200) a month, compared to half that for the public one (cost for canteen, not tuition). The public school must accept all children who turn 3 before September, despite numbers. If your child happens to turn 3 in October, they are accepted if there are places and this goes on until the end of January. My child turned 3 on January 20, and started the 21st.

[rudyinparis]

Hi Simone, fellow flatlander!

Oops--should have clarified that there are a ton of options right here in the city outside the public school associated ones, but as DH and I both work outside the home... the logisitics of anything but the High Five program (which would bus Eldest from the door of her daycare to the school, and back--bussed only with preschoolers, BTW)--the logistics of transport are too overwhelming. Luckily, I have Fridays off and ECFE (the Early Childhood & Family Education program here in the Metro area)does offer "Primetime for preschool" sessions that I can get her into. An 11 week program that meets once a week would be $66 for me (sliding scale). So if she doesn't get into High Five, we'll get her into that and maybe some other structured art classes or something, just so she can acclimate to a classroom structure.

Hopefully Spring will arrive soon, eh? Cheers!

[rudyinparis]

Oh, and quick note to ewokmama and meggiemoo--I'm in line with you as to being confused to the difference, in a lot of ways. Our home daycare has done a great job. I never went to preschool. My nieces never went to preschool. I guess for us I just think Eldest is getting bored there--her daycare is great for babies and toddlers--and I want her to be challenged. But at the end of the day and over the long haul--I think she'll be ok however it pans out!

[Jen (yup, another one)]

The thing about preschool for me is that we've been able to work out our lives so our daughter is home with my partner half time and with my mom half time. So she ISN'T in daycare, and doesn't need to be in school 5 full days. But we would like her to get social opportunities and some of the kinds of play that she doesn't get at home (we're not big on arts & crafts, for example). It's complicated by the fact that I DON'T want a very academic school. The more play the better. So, although we live in DC and have the same opportunities Summer does, they're not my first choice.

Everyone's needs and options are different. And we have to live with the choices we make, so I guess we're stuck with no school next year.

[Maureen]

Hi... twin 3 yr old boys here and we have a full time nanny. My husband and I both work NY hours but live in So Cal, so we have earlier mornings than most people but also earlier afternoons. So, the idea of preschool scared me to death. It is my understanding that if we want part time preschool (which is what I'd lean toward right now), we'd have to pay the nanny full time (to keep her - and we love her so we would want to keep her) and then pay the 2 child tuition for the couple hours a day. Prices around here seem to really "reem" the part timers. The prices are huge - for just a little bit more, you get full time. Also, what do parents do if the preschool doesn't open until 8 or 9 but the parents need to be at work by 7 at the latest? I guess we will be facing this when "real" school starts - just not ready yet.

I am currently torn if we will do preschool or not... it is hard as there is this pressure that "your kid won't be ready for kindergarten and will be WAY behind if you don't do SOME preschool". At the same time, this is the only time in my little boys' life where they get to be fully carefree and play is their job. I also have read some articles (which I tend to agree with but maybe just for the reason that they enable me to stall/avoid the preschool issue) that suggest kids that are 3 and 4 are just not ready to learn in an academic environment and that the focus should be on doing and not memorizing letters and going through flashcards. So we are fully in avoidance mode at this point.

Luckily my kids' bdays are in March so we have the benefit of being able to put them in 1 1/2 years of preschool even if they don't start until 4 yrs (which is what we are leaning toward doing at this point). I may be in for a harsh reality that when I'm ready to put my boys in preschool we won't be on the lists and may not find a slot - ugh.

[wendy]

I'm on Long Island...

We're not looking at pre-school yet but my husband spent Sunday night of last week camped out in the parking lot of the jcc in our area to get day care spots for our twins. He got there at 1:30 am for a 6:30 registration. How rediculous is that? There are other day care centers in our area but none that we were as comfortable with as this one. Now that the kids are in they can go to pre-school there so there won't be any more late night stake-outs for us! $2200 a month for both kids...I'm going to need to start donating blood...

[Julie]

Did I say Emilia Reggio? I meant Reggio Emilia. This time change is killing me.

[Chris]

Chicago suburbs here-its not too bad where I live (about an hour from the city). There are one or two preschools that many people covet and apply when their kids are 1, but that was not for me. Most 3 and 4 year old programs (for 2 mornings or 3 mornings respectively) average about $12K to $15K per year. About double for Montessori.

[Sarah]

I am in Buford Ga, about 35 miles outside of Atlanta. I don't know about pre-school as we haven't gotten there yet (due with #1 in April) but for daycare, I was just able to call, tell them my due date and we had a spot.

[flea]

In Durham NC, wait lists and stress are for day cares and kindergarten (private/charter/magnet), not pre-school, at least in my social circles. For infant day care, wait list before conception is pretty standard. We waited 26 months for a place at the center associated with my job.

I haven't had a kid in pre-school, but I've had a 3 year old in (large center, group) day care, and I doubt there's much difference, curriculum-wise.

For those WOH parents eagerly anticipating the end of juggling and expense when public school starts, let me just say that with after school, completely random early release days, and ridiculous vacations and extra days off here and there (does spring break coincide with any of the 3 local universities', or with Easter? Nope), it does not get easier. And we're doing SOCCER this spring. Activities, yoicks.

[lisa]

I'm in Westchester, NY (just north of NYC)

My beef with all of this is why nothing (or no one) addresses working parents. My husband & I work fulltime. Obviously, a lot of families do not do this here because I have yet to find a single all-day preschool. By all-day, I mean later than 12 or 1, 5 days a week. Most programs I find are 9-12 for 3s, 9-1 for 4s, etc. Many are only 2 or 3 days a week. Is this like a drop-off so Mommy can go to the gym? In my town, even kindergarten is half-day.

Right now, my 22-month old is in a large home daycare, which he loves, but many parents seem to move their kids to a preschool when they're about 3. If that's what we end up doing, I'm going to have to get my act together before the fall applications!

Anyone else have this problem?