The Zazzle store I forgot I had

Did any of you guys remember that I'd started a Zazzle store? I'd completely forgotten about it until I got a check for $6.92 on Saturday. Thanks to whoever bought the mug I made. I hope it helps you enjoy your hot beverages of choice.

Since I have the store, should I put more things on it? If so, what sayings should I use? "I'm the perfect parent for my child"?'"What's wrong with people?"? "Why can't you just stay asleep?"

Comments

[Blythe]

How about "You are the best parent for your child." with an AskMoxie.org logo or url prominently displayed? Sounds like the perfect baby shower gift to me. Or, better yet, the perfect receptacle for a bunch of flowers or chocolates delivered at about week three when the Zombie sleep-deprived blues have taken hold.

[Blythe]

How about "You are the perfect parent for your child." with an AskMoxie.org logo or url prominently displayed? Sounds like the perfect baby shower gift to me. Or, better yet, the perfect receptacle for a bunch of flowers or chocolates delivered at about week three when the Zombie sleep-deprived blues have taken hold.

[&BabyMakes75]

I'm not into brands and such, but I, for one, would buy something with the simple Ask Moxie URL on it. I've referred so many new parents to your site so I think an awesome shower gift woult be a mug or something with your URL on it. Or, how about below, but also with URL:

-- where the kids are real and the parents aren't afraid to type about it.

-- poopsplosions and sleep and camaraderie oh my

-- It ain't what to expect.

-- I know what the secret habit was.

-- Moxie saved me from throwing the baby out the window.

-- It is where even Moxie goes when she needs advice.

[mudhutkenya]

How about
"Warning: Do not ask me how the baby is sleeping"
I'd like that tattooed to my forehead right about now.

[Nutmeg]

mudhutkenya... after 14 months of that question, I'm SO with you on that one.

How about:

Sleep regression much?

[Shannon]

I second (or third) the suggestion about putting your logo/URL on there as advertising.

[Jenn]

"I cry to release tension"

[Allison]

I think Jenn's is great!! (I cry to release tension)

But, I don't think I'd want to buy something I eat/drink out of with the word "poopsplosion" on it. Haha.

I also like the "you are the best Mother for you child"

[rudyinparis]

These are all great! I would definitely start buying anything with "You are the perfect parent for your child" for shower gifts and such.

How about: "Hell is other people" which is what I'm mumbling under my breath most of the time. My buddy and me are always joking that we're going to start a cottage industry of cutesy needlepoint pillows with "Hell is other people" stitched onto them.

[SJ]

I love the idea of a mug with any of those sayings and your url - as others have said, a perfect shower or new mom present.

[amy]

Parenting:
You're doing it right.

(For those who enjoy the LOLCats.)

Definitely put the URL on everything.

[caramama]

I would love it if you had shirts or onsies or mugs with a few phrases and your logo!

I love the follow phrases which I've picked up from this site(either verbatum or the general idea):

-You are the best mom for your child
-Hedra asks: Is it Safe, Respectful and Kind?
-Give in and Boob Your Baby to Bed!
-It's just a phase. It's just a phase...
-Are you up with my baby at 3AM? Then I don't want to hear it.
-Babies' sleeping will get better. Then worse. Then better. Then worse. Then they'll go to college.

Oh, and I'd love one about knowing the secret hobby! That was just classic!

[Kate]

"Sleep by any means necessary."

"I'm a parent and still sane! ASK ME HOW!"
(Is this only funny to the people who ride the NYC subway?)

Ask Moxie hoodies for when you're trying to distract people from the fact that your clothes = your pajamas.

I would totally buy Ask Moxie stuff--I am constantly talking about this site anyway.

[maureen]

I vote for Caramama's - Are you up with my baby at 3AM? Then I don't want to hear it.

I also really like the next one about better, worse, better, worse then college

I also vote fo rthe Ic ry to release tension (as it applies to me just as much as my babies!)

[Simone]

OMG you guys are clever! How about:
My child is having a wonder week...and I just wonder what week it is.
Or, this is a phrase Moxie once used:
"What fresh hell is this?"

I'd also buy any of these:
I know what the secret habit was.
Do not ask me how the baby is sleeping.
Sleep regression much?
I cry to release tension.
It's just a phase. It's just a phase...
Are you up with my baby at 3AM? Then I don't want to hear it.
Sleep by any means necessary.
I'm a parent and still sane! ASK ME HOW!

URL on everything...I would consider it a public service announcement!

[Eve]

There's just something so perfect about "Do Not Ask Me How My Baby Is Sleeping" on a coffee mug. Because, honestly, it's been 13 months since I've slept more than three consecutive hours, and the only thing worse than that is the people who won't stop nagging me about it. And I just moved halfway across the country to start a new job with no daycare lined up, and coffee and anxiety are about all I'm running on at this point! I would definitely buy that one for me, and I love the "You're the Perfect Mother for Your Baby" with the URL as a shower gift. Keep us posted!

[Julie]

I totally would buy stuff and I agree it should have Moxie's website on it ....would make a great gift for new mommies. I remember being silly one day and coming up with some great ideas from what people said for bumper stickers.....but now can't find that post. Boob your kid to bed was one of them....said by someone else, but thought it was so appropriate.

[G's momma]

This too shall pass...

Not an expert, just a mom.

[Michelle]

Oh man, I would so buy like every single thing with these sayings.

the beauty and irony of a mug that says "don't ask how my baby sleeps" is just delicious!

[hedra]

How about a mug with 'You teach my child. I'm not giving you f-ing soap.' To give to our kids' teachers, filled with gift cards or cash.

Maybe the f-ing would be bad, though - hard to explain on the desk. ;) And hey, do they need another mug?

I want a top-ten list of things I learned on (or is it 'at'?) Ask Moxie.

10. My baby is normal, just different than yours/your grandchild/your cousin's neighbor's sister's child.
9. The 'sleep better/worse, then college' one.
8. Nothing seems impossible with a little compassion and support.
7. Simple: Three Rules.
6. It's just a phase (and then another...).
5. Teachers - don't give them the soap.
4. Sleep regressions make everyone crazy.
3. Poopsplosions. 'Nuff said.
2. PPD prevention, I have a plan!
1. Say it! I am the best parent for my child. Repeat as necessary.

I'm leaving the 'I cry to release tension' one separate, because it makes a good mug. But I think we also need one for increasing tension, and I can't think of a good one other than just 'I don't cry to release tension' - but that tends to bring up the question of what one DOES do, instead... eek?

Or:

Ask Moxie: Bring on the Sleep Regressions! (in small text:) I can handle it. I think. Maybe. When is this one over?!

or:

Ask Moxie: Don't ask me how the baby's sleeping. Just. Don't.

or:

Ask Moxie: Why isn't the rest of the world this sane?

or:

Ask Moxie: It's not *all* about the sleep regressions.
(small print): sometimes it's about sex and politics, too.

[pnuts mama]

i love them all...and i would totally get the one about the secret hobby! and the 'don't ask me how my kid is sleeping"

i love the "you are the best parent for your child" but was also thinking "i am the best parent for my child" in a self affirming kind of way.

i was also thinking- "co-sleeping: i do it too"

and along that vein something like "askmoxie.org: where you always find at least 7 other parents going through the same thing you are!"

[kellie]

Oh MAN am I cracking up right now. I would totally buy the one about you saving me from throwing the baby out the window (LMAO!) but I'm not so sure how my MIL would like that. PLEASE make more, though. I am all ready to buy a big, fat mug. In fact, make a travle mug. Then I can take it to my new job! Maybe something sassy about working moms... oh the wheels are turning now...

P.S. your readers are the best, you know that right? I almost spit coffee all over the laptop...

[Kate]

Oooh, I forgot about "What fresh hell is this?" That should be my personal mantra.

[caramama]

Oh, I get it! On a mug, because we're drinking coffee because we don't get any sleep! Ha! I love it! (slowness due to sleep deprivation, I swear)

Hedra: What about something like "No CIO for me because crying increases my tensions"? or something like that.

I love this one "Ask Moxie: It's not *all* about the sleep regressions.
(small print): sometimes it's about sex and politics, too." Oh, and what if it was "...sometimes it's about secret hobbies and..."

Oh, and this one: "askmoxie.org: where you always find at least 7 other parents going through the same thing you are!"

And my mantra for at least the first half of the Pumpkin's life was something based on something that Shandra said once: "I'd rather err on the side of kindness and love." Would that make a good one?

[Anonymous]

I'd love a coffee mug that says "Crankypants" on it.

[marsupial jones]

in honor of our recent discussion of sex and stuff:

Sleep: the new sex

Chores: the new foreplay

[amy]

Popping back in to laugh at these. I have to make a plea, though: the coffee mug with "Don't ask me how my baby is sleeping" seems unfair. I'm only going to use that at home but I'd need the phrase when I'm out in the world. Perhaps a button or a t-shirt? Travel mug also is good.

[Charisse]

Favorite moxieisms:

-"and now, let the magic of the internets commence"

-"go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep little asshole"

"that would freak me right out"

[G's momma]

I think you should make some onesies as well..

"I am the best baby for my mommy and she is the best mommy for me"

"What? Party
Where? My Crib
When? 3:00 AM Every night
BYB (Bring your Boob)"

"My crying stresses me out, too" for those who increase tension when crying and of course "I cry to release tension" for that population of babies

"Shhhh... I'm thinking of the next way to drive my mother insane."

Y'all are hilarious I am sure that you can think of some fantastic onesie phrases. If Zazzle doesn't offer the opportunity to make onesies, let's move this store to cafe press !

[Cloud]

Oh! I LOVE "my crying increases my tension, too". Love it!

[Julie]

oooh I love the onesie ideas. Please please please make some travel mugs - they're the only ones big enough. Who, besides grandparents who get enough sleep, really drinks coffee out of one of those regular-sized mugs? They are too small.

go to sleep....go to sleep.....go to sleep little asshole.

I would love that on a big t-shirt that I could sleep in myself. Honestly, I think all of these things would be great shower gifts ...or better one month birthday gifts for mommy because she might not appreciate the asshole comment until she's about a month into it. And you always run the risk of the *gasp/bosom grab* from the MIL.

How about this one I'd like in some form of *sign* I could post at my door (a doormat possibly?) "If you wake up my sleeping baby, I will rip your head off"

[wynlatte]

Yes to all the suggestions so far. And for a onesie: Teething sucks.

[Lisa]

Oh I am loving all of these !!

I saw these on a t-shirt ages ago and have never forgotten them, maybe Moxie could steal them ??
On a baby blue teensy tiny little t-shirt
"I'm a tits man".
And another blue one....
" Mmmmm boobie "
Hilarious !

[z]

so many great ideas... just adding my plug for wanting ask moxie stuff...

[Simone]

LOVE "go to sleep little asshole." My super-loving husband tends to get all cussy when woken from a dead sleep. I may have actually heard this one once.

Oh! and
Sleep: the new sex

Chores: the new foreplay

[Kelly]

(a doormat possibly?) "If you wake up my sleeping baby, I will rip your head off"

I want this like RIGHT NOW.

[pnuts mama]

too bad there's no way to have the phrase "don't you wake up that baby!" shown hissed through clenched teeth. maybe italics?

how bout "the person responsible for waking up my baby is also responsible for getting him/her back to sleep?"

[Pippi]

PLEASE -- make these mugs! I have a strict no mug buying rule (I'm a teacher so I receive more than I can handle) but I would break it for these. Buttons would be great, too. I'm waiting with credit card number in hand and I'm even willing to pay customs fees when they cross the border.

[LauraLou]

Oh, I second, third, whatever "go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep little asshole"! That was my first thought when I saw this post. My other favorite Moxieism: "At the end of the day, if you're alive and the baby is alive, then you're doing an excellent job". That one is probably too long for a mug, but I repeat it to myself several times a week.

[Julie]

@pnuts mama....I was thinking also "if you wake up my baby, you will be expected to entertain him for the remainder of the day. Be prepared to submit social security number, driver's license and fingerprints...."

[pnuts mama]

how bout "i'm the perfect imperfect person to raise my imperfect child" ?

or

"i kept another person alive another day, why, what did you do all day?"

[attiton]

I've always wanted a t-shirt that says (right across the boobs):

"Back off, these things work!"

[Nutmeg]

pnuts mama...

Seriously with the "I kept another person alive today, what did you do?"

Last night we were at a friend's house and they have 2 month old. Her husband got home and asked her what she did today and I was reminded of getting that question when my husband would get home after I spent 14 hours alone with an extremely colicky baby and I would just glare and think. "I didn't kill this kid today... that took pretty much all day."

[Shelley]

What fresh hell is this?

...still laughing over that one, applicable to all aspects of life at home, at work, wherever...

[caramama]

You guys are so funny! I love: "I didn't kill this kid today... that took pretty much all day."

and: "Back off, these things work!"

The "go to sleep" one reminds of what one (or more) commenters have said they've said to their babies in the middle of the night, and I've said it to: "STFU, STFU, oh why won't you STFU and go to sleep!" But that might be a bit much...

[hedra]

Cracking up totally, here. LOVE LOVE LOVE the 'not killing the baby took all day' thing. Oh, man.

This reminds me of a story from my mom re: my brother. Mom had just done something really nice for one of us kids, and my brother asked how come she never did nice things for HIM?! She looked him in the eye for a moment, then said, 'the nicest thing I've ever done for ANYONE, I did for you. I let you live to be four.' (let's just say that three was not a good year. And two hadn't been, either.)

I'm thinking of a set of flash cards/notice cards, too. Something you could stick in the window on the door or place by the entry so people don't ask the stupid question when they get home/visit. Like:

Baby sleeping. Mother sleeping. Wake us at your peril.

Baby sleeping. Mother too exhausted to sleep. Do not make any sudden movements.

Baby NOT sleeping. Give me the car keys and $20 and tell me to get out of the house for an hour.

House status: Baby fed. Baby alive. Baby relatively clean. Mother alive. Successful day!

Do not enter house unless you have chocolate/beer/take-out and a grateful attitude.

Warning! TOUCHED OUT. No groping zone.

Your turn. Clock in.

(dry-erase version, or a notepad)
Today's count:
____ poopy diapers
____ wet diapers
____ feeds
____ crying fits (baby)
____ crying fits (mommy)
____ sessions of 'stimulating play' (baby)
____ sessions of endless repetition of inane behaviors that make me want to scratch out my eyes but keep baby from crying (mommy)
____ clothes changes (baby)
____ clothes changes (mommy)
____ baths/washing/wiping (baby)
____ shower (mommy)
____ hours carrying baby
____ hours bouncing/rocking/patting baby
____ hours of chiropractic needed (mommy)
____ minutes of not being touched (mommy)
____ Other: ______________________
[checkbox] No the house isn't clean and dinner isn't ready, so don't ask.
[checkbox] Please order takeout.
[checkbox] Fussy stage in progress.
[checkbox] Colic. It must be colic.
[checkbox] Call the PPD hotline for me.
[checkbox] What the hell were we THINKING?
[checkbox] It's a good thing babies are cute. Really cute. Cuter than anything else on the planet. Ours especially.

[Stephanie]

I know someone already has a website named this, but they are always giving props to Moxie and I would love this on a T-shirt:

"Sleep is for the weak!"

It's my mantra to make me feel that somehow my non-sleeping baby is superior to the other sleepers.

[xizajuqy pornoq]

but for the fact that position. So also gaol!

[christian louboutin]

Your blog is breathtaking. Most of the stuff on your page are my consent about. Thank you for sharing.

[christian louboutin shoes]

So wonderful post.I am bursting to leave a comment.I am also a fan of blog，you are an example to all of us.Thank you for teaching me so much.Good job.