Q&A: late talker?

Suzanne writes:

"We had my daughter's 9 month check-up yesterday (a few days shy of her 9 month birthday) and the pediatrician said he isn't overly concerned about but that we should keep an eye on my daughter's babbling, or lack thereof.  She is on track developmentally with all other milestones but really doesn't babble at all.  She engages with my husband and me as well as others, smiles when smiled at, imitates certain actions like clapping or blowing raspberries, is very interested in activity - notices when someone leaves or enters the room, watches and is amused by the dog, and at our playgroups she seems interested in other babies.  Her hearing also appears to be completely normal, she passed her screening at birth and has not had any ear infections and responds to sounds.  So my gut tells me that if there is anything amiss it is probably specifically speech related and not something broader (autism spectrum).

I don't work and she is my only child so I thought maybe she's just not hearing as much language as babies her age with siblings or in daycare.  While I do talk to her a lot (narrating activity) and read and sing to her, you can't talk every minute of the day!  And the thing is, my husband is somewhat of an introvert and not much of a talker so maybe there's a genetic component?

I was hoping some of your readers may have experience with a late talker that sounds similar to mine."

I sometimes think we know way too much. I can't, in my wildest dreams, imagine classifying a 9-month-old who doesn't babble a "late talker." I'm sticking with the standard "20 words by 20 months" rule that's applied for years and years. (And by "words" they mean a noises that consistently means the same thing, like barking when they see a dog, or making fire engine noises, or saying a special word to mean something.)

What I've always been told, and what I saw playing out in rather dramatic fashion as the kids in our playgroup turned 2 and then 3, was that receptive language is the key. If kids understand and respond, then they'll be fine with language even if it takes them longer to get there and they need a little help. My older son was an extremely early talker, as was one of the other girls in the group. There was another boy and another girl who were hardly talking when they were 2, but understood everything and could follow directions (as much as any toddler does).

The girl was hitting all her other milestones, but barely said more than 5 words by the time she was 3. By the time she was 4, there was no difference in her speech and no one would have known who was the late talker. It just took her longer to get there for some reason.

The boy was also not walking by the time he was 20 months, so his parents got an early intervention assessment and it turned out he had some low muscle tone. They started working with a physical therapist and a speech therapist. It turns out that for some kids, movement and speech is linked. Once he started walking, it was as if someone just flicked a switch and he went from 5-10 words to 400 over the course of two weeks. It had all been stored up there in his brain, but he just wasn't able to get it out until the walking fell into place. They worked with a speech therapist for about 6 months to help with the low muscle tone in his jaw (which caused some enunciation problems), and by the time he was 4 you'd have had no idea he was late at either walking or talking.

I know these aren't expert assessments of what's going on with your daughter. They're stories meant to show that all kids are different, and some kids do some things earlier and some later. The mom of the girl never felt like there was anything wrong. The mom of the boy felt like there was something wrong, and it turned out she was right. I think that you should pay attention to your own feelings, your "mom spidey sense," and follow that. If you think there's something up, then look for help, even if your doctor brushes you off. But if she's on target and is responsive and happy, then she may just skip the babbling phase, or do it late.

Anyone want to share stories either of "late talkers," or of trusting your instincts and how that went?

Comments

[Amanda]

Can anybody point me in the direction of that research re: late talkers related to technical/scientist parents? I'm sure a lot of us would love to read the original work. Thanks!

[Jen]

My son babbled so much, and from such an early age, that I thought he would be an early talker. Wrong. At 20 months he didn't even say Mama and Dada. At 20 months and two weeks we had an intake meeting with Early Intervention and they scheduled his evaluation for the following week. Amazingly, he acquired about 20 words in that week between the intake meeting and his evaluation. And by 21 months he had over 100 words. It's so true that every child is different and you just never know--my advice is to keep watching your daughter for red flags, but don't worry too much, especially prematurely.

[moo]

Well, my 19 month old only has three signs "ball," "more," and "no" and three words, "dada," "eat," and "read." We work with him every day and he watches an episode of signing time with him every day.

He understands pretty much everything we say to him and he is one of those "Watchers" who loves to sort and count.

His motor skills are off the charts beyond his age level, walked early, etc. and while our pedi wasn't concerned with his speech, *I* am concerned. So I called our state early intervention program and am waiting to hear back from them.

He never babbled until well over a year old and he was a late smiler/laugher. I'm of the opinion that early intervention cannot hurt him. Also, I think he has more signs than I recognize.

But I think that 9 months is WAY to early to worry about this! Just my .02

[hedra]

Sarah2, I think I may have made a bad implication, there, and thanks for pointing it out.

It isn't that the anecdotal bits are useless, it is that they may not be ENOUGH. You'll notice that I did a huge long anecdote of my own! They do give some picture of the range, and some picture of where one falls in the range. My point was that they not be THE ONLY answer provided, and an understanding that sometimes the anecdotes do not apply - often (very often) they do, but without that one grain of salt, they can be potentially misleading.

That doesn't mean they aren't a good part of the process. They definitely are. They're the signposts we use, as humans, to find our way. Without the details of the been-there-done-that from others, we're floundering. I just meant to say that sometimes it takes someone whose BTDT contains hundreds and hundreds of detailed experiences, not just a few dozen. (For the same reason, I'm not uber-confident of brand-new experts, either. Not enough data points for me.)

I hope that makes it clearer - I don't want everyone to stop putting in their data points, AT ALL. I just want at least a couple of people to say 'if you're still concerned, X expert is the place to go, and this was my experience with that' as well. (which then proceeded to happen).

[Kate]

@moo: A lot of my son's signs (and my daughter's when she was younger) are what I call "pidgin" ASL. They are not the right handshape, necessarily, or done near the correct part of the body. (E.g. his signs for daddy, horse, and cow all pretty much look alike; he signs flower near his chin instead of his nose.) I have no idea if a speaker of ASL could interpret what he's saying--I've picked up what his signs mean from observation and his consistency in using them.

If your son watches Signing Time every day I'll bet he has more than you think. Honestly, part of the reason why I like Signing Time so much (at least the first ones, like Vol 1-3) is that they show very small kids using their own "version" of the sign. It helped me to widen my viewpoint, as it were.

[hedra]

Jen, "Amazingly, he acquired about 20 words in that week between the intake meeting and his evaluation." - this made me smile, as that's exactly what happens with my kids as well, though B still didn't make it far enough on those power bursts of development. Kids who do step-wise development seem to be fairly common in the anecdotes as well - they hang at a certain level for a long long long time, then SHOOT UP, then hang out again.

That IS a normal pattern of development, and it is one of the areas that you don't know is a pattern until you've hit the upward movement part of it - all we can see is the plateau part until the step-up happens. On the plus side, you can always cancel an appointment if it happens! That's certainly something that the early intervention folks see on a regular basis.

Oh, and I agree that there is a lot of pressure on the language development side lately, but I know many reasons why that is so. Again, it is the screening issue - the people putting on the pressure are screeners, and as screeners, they cannot actually make an assessment, all they can do is raise flags. For a lot of docs, that makes them uncomfortable, and so they are even MORE prone to raising the flag high and waving it about, because they want the data for themselves, too. It reduces their own distress if they have you go get your child assessed. Before, they assumed they KNEW the answer, now they're being told they don't. (Add in the autism spectrum awareness stuff, and they're even more twitchy...) I don't mind, though. I'd rather get an assessment done and know for sure. Granted, I'm also 'like that', and not everyone has to be!

[Lee]

This is my guess: the pede had a patient last year in a similar situation. The parent was worried, and the pede said, "don't worry". The child turned out to have issues and the pede was sued for malpractice.

I'm not sure why I'm so grumpy today, but this was the first thing that came to mind when I read the question.

[Rachel H.]

My first was a late talker, late enough that he qualified for help from Early Intervention. I feel lucky that when I said at his 18mo appt, "No, he still has zero words," that his doctor believed me, and knew what to do. According to the good people at EI, most ped. adopt a "wait and see" approach, or perhaps do not quite believe us moms. My son got speech therapy at home (and some low muscle tone therapy) until age 3. By then he was speaking some, and signing a lot. He got speech therapy through the town preschool for two years, and then speech therapy for a year in a small class setting. When he started kindy, they tested him -- by then he tested in the low end of normal, and they stopped formal classes. He's now 8yo and in the 2nd grade. He still struggles to pronounce some words, but he finally figured out reading last summer (late, in our school district) and is doing great at school.

I do feel that the early, focused help he got made it possible for him to have a normal, positive kindy experience. I think if we had waited, the problems he had making sounds and thus making intelligible words would have taken longer (too long) to correct, and would have significantly impacted his schooling.

For the data points .... my 2nd (a boy) talked early and well. No issues at all. My 3rd (another boy) is 2.5 and mildly delayed -- not enough to qualify for help, but enough that I'm keeping an eye on him. I'm not sure I'd notice if it weren't for everything I went through with #1.

[hedra]

Ran across this article, which might be of use to those with questions about normal range/ages, etc. It has useful (IMHO) info about when to make plans for evaluation, and when not to, how many kids have delays at certain ages, etc.

http://www.chw.org/display/PPF/DocID/35351/router.asp

[Sarah2]

Hedra -- thanks for your clarification about anecdotes / data points. I understand your perspective much better now!

[Shari]

My 21 month old son has a ton of babbling and inflection and understands a lot. However, I can't understand what he is saying. He's speaking in paragraphs of gibberish; though he's got No, Dawgg (dog), his name "TIE-LAH" (Tyler), Bawlll (ball) and probably many others that I can't quite decipher. His sister (13 months older than him), was using the words EXCAVATOR and BACKHOE before she was his age. So, it makes me nervous that he's not intelligible. He's a TOTAL perfectionist (not trained to be) - HAS to shut doors - it freaks him out if a door is open. He seems very smart, is a great observer and points incessantly and tries to talk to me --- I just wish I could understand what in the world he's saying. Should I be worried? He's a pretty big boy (90th percentile in height & weight), eats food with overzealousness - any thoughts out there? Please feel free to comment! THANK YOU!!!

[casey jones]

is it me or does it seem too many kids are on the autism spectrum now? Autism was once defined as obsessively repetitive, asocial, failure to engage in outside environment and now it seems to me 75% of the "red flags" could apply to all toddlers at some time. i think the reality here is parents are obsessive neurotics totally competitive and it just doesnt occur to us that most of are kids won't be einstein (who everyone thought was retarded as a toddler, and as a kid he'd daydream so much his headmaster said he'd never amount to anything). Late talking is very common in boys, and Ive seen my share of gals not talking at 2+ but they just seem shy but now shyness is also a disease we must cure. and parents need to STOP BLAMING themselves. every study shows nothing parents do affect how kids talk. Ive heard parents brag about their early talkers then they have another kid who is a late talker! then they blame the sibling! I think parents need to ENJOY THEIR KIDS.

[Jodi Otto]

We just left the pede office and she said I can get intervention or not it was up to me. I don't know what to do.... My 18 month old says nothing word wise, he repeats A-E-I-O-U he knows letters like M and T and says those sounds when he sees them but he never uses words for anything. He has babbled mamama and dadada but has never used them for us like to call us etc. He loves making noises with his mouth but doesn't talk. I am not sure if I should insist on early intervention or she said we can wait until he is about 20-22 months and send him then. What would be best.

[JulieM]

My 12 month old son does not babble at all. He passed a hearing test and even saw a neurologist who said he is normal but just has a speech delay. He is in speech therapy 1x/week and though he seems alittle more vocal (coos, shrieks, rasperries), he still does not babble. He is very quiet. One speech therapist brought up apraxia. Does anyone have experience with this when their child was very young? If so, any words of encouragement - what is the success rate after speech therapy? Thanks!

[Tom]

I am 43 years old, the 3rd of 5 kids. I have an older brother who is 4 years older than I, and a sister 18 mos older than I am. I didn't say a word until i was 3, and my first word was "Batman". I didn't say a word because my siblings responded to my pointing and brought me what I wanted.

My point is our pediatrician at the time's response was "when he has something to say, he'll say it". I have no developmental problems, an I.Q. measured at 138 and work in the IT industry.

I say if your child isn't talking up a storm but seems otherwise okay, don't lose sleep over it.

[Jean]

There can be many reasons why a child talks late. I wouldn't worry if my 9 month old child was not speaking, and I did not worry too much when my 18 month old son had 6 words in his vocabulary and the pediatrician said we should watch him. But, when you take the late talking, the difficulty learning to rhyme, difficulty learning his ABCs, and other problems he had in late pre-school and kindergarten it is time to take note. My son, we learned when he was in first grade, has dyslexia and the sooner a parent knows this and educates themselves the sooner you can help your child succeed. He's smart and he will learn it is not the answer when there are so many warning signs. So keep these milestones in the back of your mind and if they start piling up educate yourself.

[jean]

I am a speech-language pathologist and my best advice is that is you have a concern, or if a pediatrician or a friend raises a concern, go get it checked out by a professional. All states have early intervention programs where you can have your child evaluated (and treated, if they qualify for a delay) for free. Yes, lots of kids who didn't meet milestones turn out just fine- but there are a lot that don't too. The research shows over and over that intervening as early as possible leads to the best outcomes for children with delay. Delays, especially language delays, escalate over time- so a 2-year old who has the language skills of a 1-year old may only be one year behind now, but at 4 years without intervention that child may now be 2 years behind. When all of the other children are using language to learn and interact, a child with a delay isn't using language the same way, and therefore isn't learning at the same pace as their peers. So over time language delays tend to build on themselves. So you really want to nip delays in the bud. Get in there early!

I think as people when we are worried to tend to seen reassurance from friends, and friends tend to tell us that one rare anecdote that might make us feel better. I will tell you as an SLP- I am sick of the "my kid didn't say a word until they were 3 and now they talk up a storm" story. This situation is rare, and lots these kids do still have underlying language difficulties that don't manifest until late middle school, like organizing narratives and reading. So I don't mean to scare you, but if you are worried about your child's development just go get it checked out. The worst that can happen is that your child does, in fact, qualify for a delay, in which case you should pat yourself on the back for catching it so early and get your child the help he/she needs to be successful.

[Martha]

My 2 1/2 year old grandson has a speech delay (uses mostly single words) that doesn't match his other developments. Beginning at age two, his accomplishments include: counting forwards and backwards, shapes, colors, counting by tens, knows what zero means, recognizing upper and lower case letters, and spelling words (+30 words like apple, book and juice). He has been involved in an early intervention program that is focused on pretend play and receptive language, but I haven't seen much of an improvement. I not sure whats going on, other than they lack a holistic approach, that needs to take into consideration his other developments. The developmental specialist was concerned because he can't draw, on demand, a circle or line; but, recently out of the blue he drew a face for me with eyes, nose, mouth, ears and hair. Go figure!

[Rene]

What about a thirteen-month old girl who never babbled, but has this high pitched scream? All other developmental milestones are on target.

[Zangar]

"A more in-depth analysis may have to wait till torromow"Why bother Kerry? You could have used this post to commend your chancellor for his financial acumen, or hailed Brown for his leadership. But you just have a pop at the other team. Getting in some practise for after the next GE and you're back in the political wilderness again are we?But then the politics of envy never dies does it?

[Mohamed]

she cannot wait. I asked her if she has any crcoenns and her answer was yes I worry you change mind. Well that will never happen. So the next day I get an email saying she is ill. Well she had cancer a few years ago so her health is a big concern for us both. I made her some promises last time we were together. They were I would never cheat on her, never leave her and never change my mind about marrying her. It was an easy promise to make I love her very much. Well I logged on skype that night I knew she would not log on but I will not stand her up she would feel I left her. She was married before and her husband left her the day she found out she was pregnant. Well the next tuesday she sends me another email saying she loves me and now her son is sick too. Well I log on skype again that night like I said I will not stand her up. Oh side note she loves to get emails from me and I use spypig to notify me when she opens them I like to know she is reading them. Well wednesday I log on skype and she is not there. About once a month or so she goes through a phase where she does not want to talk for a few days and pushes me away. She gets lonely and fearful I leave her. Well I usually talk her through with emails. Well it is wed. and nothing no email or text saying she is better or worse. I am getting a bit worried at this point. Thursday no skype no emails nothing I am now thinking maybe she is going through a phase on me. I start sending her text messages. Friday no skype or emails form her I am now panicking. She is not opening emails and that should tell me she is sick but I am panicked. No matter what she always opens emails even if she is mad at me. Well I send her more text messages basically saying why are you not talking to me? Why no skype blah blah blah. I send her like 6 texts. I know I am a moron. Sat. no skype or messages I send her more text messages she finally sends me a message saying i am busy why you send so many messages ? Well now I am full on panicked busy!! Too busy for your fiance I am thinking. So sunday no skype or email so I send her more messages trying to get her to talk. Monday and more texts from me finally she is mad now and says I told you I am ill I cannot come to America. Well I know she wants to marry she talked about it a lot and made me promise to marry her. Well since then I have sent her few text messages and just emails but I have been trying to get her to talk. I have done what I always do and sweet talk her into talking to me again. This time it is not working. I made her pretty mad. I also think with her health she is worried about such a big move. She knows no one her and gets scared easily. She is fearful I leave her or cheat on her. I have asked her to end it if she does not love me or does not wish to marry. She reads the emails but does not respond. I have been sending her a bunch of emails it is not working. I pushed at her while she was ill and now she refuses to talk on skype or send me more then a hi how are you email once in a week. I am afraid to back off too much she will think I am giving up. An ultimatum will not work she will give in to her fear and not talk at all. I need help I just want to talk again. I need her help planning our wedding I am doing all this by myself. I need advice thanks. I have never been in love before so I have made some idiot mistakes. Please I know she sytill loves me and wishes to marry she is scared and has withdrawn I need help getting her to talk on skype again. Please no comments like dump her I wish for real advice.

[Dibahtc]

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