The 2 1/2-3 year sleep regression

Can we just talk about this sleep regression?

I talk a lot here about the 4-month sleep regression (when you feel bewildered and bleak), the 8-9-month sleep regression (when you feel defeated and hopeless), and the 18-month sleep regression (when you feel insulted and irate). But I haven't talked much about the 3-year sleep regression. We're in the middle of it here (although he won't be 3 until May), so i thought maybe some of you would like to complain along with me.

The other sleep regressions seem to be characterized by frequent wakings throughout the night, but this 3-year one seems to be all about not going to sleep at bedtime. When he first goes into his bed at 8, and is still awake at 9:45, it starts to piss me off. There's only so much water a kid can drink, the monster-scarer is in full effect, the temperature is fine, and no you cannot come out and read with me. And, what's more, your brother needs to stay asleep so he won't be tired for school tomorrow.

Honestly, at this point I don't even care if the little one actually goes to sleep, I just want him to be quiet so he won't wake up his brother. (The progressive lowering of standards also seems to be characteristic of the 3-year sleep regression.)

What I've finally come to is that I can provide him the opportunity to sleep, but cannot make him do it. We have a temporary peace with his staying in his bed quietly (so he doesn't wake his brother) and my not caring if he's asleep or not. I definitely don't think it's something he's doing on purpose. I think it's the same thing that happens at the other sleep regressions--the kids are working on something mentally or developmentally, and their bodies and minds just simply can't sleep right then.

This too shall pass.

Anyone else want to complain about the 3-year sleep regression? (And, moms of older kids, is there one coming at 6 years?)

Comments

[Sarah]

I've not posted before, but this one's got my name on it. My son, who'll be three in March, has been a put-me-in-my-bed-and-let-me-sleep-for-twelve-hours kid his whole life. Then he hit 2 1/2 and suddenly he couldn't fall asleep anymore.

For us, it came with a definite developmental leap--his imagination was unleashed. He was 'putting on' uniforms and costumes (pantomimes of stepping into boots and buckling helmets, etc.), pretending to be all kinds of creatures and workers and assigning Mom and Dad and baby brother roles to play as well. His dreams were also suddenly vivid and memorable--and scary, like the one where 'hands' were coming out from under his new mattress to hit his cheeks...

We've tried a progression of solutions to help him fall asleep, starting with catering to his every whim and request for hours after bedtime. That lasted two nights.

We're kind of going with the flow of his need for a long goodnight, so we're starting the bedtime routine at 7 to get him asleep near 8, where it used to be a 10 minute read-and-goodnight at 7:50. He didn't want to sleep in his bed anymore (who would, with those mean hands in it?), so he's got a mat on the floor, which he moves every few nights. I always make sure the particulars are taken care of before we really try to sleep--like a full humidifier and pj pants tucked into the socks, etc. Otherwise those'll merit a call down the stairs from him later.

The biggest thing has been to "teach" him how to calm down to sleep. We've carved out time in the routine to talk about our day in order to debrief and relax a little. When this regression started, he would clutch me and tell me I couldn't leave him, so I've been laying with him until he falls asleep. I took that opportunity to model how I get comfortable, lay still, close my eyes and relax. Since he now knows how to do those things, we've developed a "No Talking, No Wiggling & Hands Down or Mom'll go Downstairs" rule, in effect after we've finished reading and it's time for sleep. I've never really gone downstairs, but whispering to him, "Put your hands down" or "shhh..." helps him to stop and relax. At the beginning, I would physically stop him from tracing the stripes on the wall, plucking fuzz from the blanket, playing with his toys, etc. by grabbing and holding his hand or putting my hand on his chest and having him put his hands on top of mine. At first, I'd do it over and over again. Now just a reminder will do it.

Three months ago, he'd say that he couldn't close his eyes to sleep. It was almost literally true!! It was like he'd forgotten how to just let his eyes close with sleep, and he couldn't just blink and keep 'em closed. He would squeeze and scrunch his little face in order to get his eyes closed, but then was so worked up by the effort of trying to keep them shut he couldn't relax enough to sleep. Now, he sometimes has to close his eyes with his fingers to get those lids down tight. I've just learned that he has to do that a little as part of his new routine.

This past week he's been slightly awake twice when I've left his room, and he's said goodnight to me. I'm hoping it's like putting a baby to bed while they're still a little awake, so they realize they can fall asleep on their own...

Like you said, Moxie, this too shall pass. Hopefully sooner than later!

[Michelle]

I'll add ourselves to the list of families who have just gone through this. Our daughter turned 3 last week and we have been battling bedtime for about 6 months. I actually wrote to Moxie about this issue a few months ago.

We have a solution and its not pretty -- drop or cut short the nap. She's at daycare 3x a week while I work so I've asked them to wake her up after 45-60 minutes. On the days she is home with me, I keep her up. Ideally she would nap for about 45 minutes and be awake by 2 pm but this is almost impossible to make happen at home.

Of course, when she doesn't nap she is a cranky beast and we can't do much (especially cannot take the car). I end up putting her in front of the tv. But the alternative is to have her up until 10 or 11 or later at night -- which isn't good for my sanity.

[GG]

Julie- mine goes to bed fine but wakes at least once at night and wants to be in our bed. Usually, I just am too lazy to fight the fight and let her CIO or she says she has to go potty- and I can't ignore that. The theory is that we need to teach them to self sooth and go back to sleep. We haven't yet succeeded in ignoring- maybe tonight we will succeed! My sister has twins- sleep always seemed to be good for one and not the other- and they weren't always in teh same role. So, I understand that challenge. I still go back to my book-Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child- but, he does recommend the CIO method.

[hedra]

Another method for the 3-and-up crowd is a 'night ticket'. They get one ticket for a free 'whatever you asked for help with' (but not tv or playing, just drink, hug, cuddle, whatever) to get out of their room. BUT, once used, they don't get another one for the rest of the night.

At 3, they're natural hoarders, so they will tend to want to hold on to the ticket in case they need it later, more than now.

About 2/3 to 3/4 of kids will respond to the 'one free pass to a calm - not excited, not resentful - trip out of the bedroom for whatever then back to bed' ticket. If they do, you can then move them to one ticket for every two days, then three days, then week.

We haven't bothered with this, but I found it in some research when I was first checking into the behavior waaay back. It seemed a good cross between answering their needs and having clear rules and limits. The main points being that you must not punish them for using the ticket at ANY time they use it, and you must not let them out for the rest of it once the ticket is used. Even if that means leaving a potty seat in their room if they have to pee later, or having them sleep in a goodnight/pullup, whatever. The point is to limit their requests for help, without eliminating their ability to call for help and get it.

Granted, know-thy-child is a major point - M would freak and crumble with this. B would probably be juuuust fine.

[Louisa]

I thought it was just us!

Our daughter is almost 2 and 1/2. After almost 2 years of being an excellent sleeper, in her own bed, things have gone south.

It seems that she has trained her bowels so that she poops approximately 10 minutes after bedtime EVERY NIGHT. The diaper change then ushers in an hour of requests ("Milk!" "Snuggle with Mommy!" "Snuggle with Daddy!" "Wash off the pacie!").

If we leave her in her room she'll chat, sing, and rifle through her dresser drawers-- pulling out all manner of diapers, wipes, hats, socks, boots, and other implements of destruction-- for an hour or more. She then wakes up crying in the middle of the night-- EVERY night-- and ends up sleeping the rest of the night in bed with us. It feels like many nights of sleep training were totally wasted.

I have to say that I am loathe to give up the afternoon nap in order to cure the night time issues. Right now she takes a fabulous 2+ hour nap every afternoon. I'm pregnant, and nauseated as all get out. I would rather have her nap in the afternoon (so I can also nap) and then be up in the evening when her Daddy is around to help. I'm fairly sure that this makes me a horrible parent, but I'm too tired to care.

P.S. I love this site, and am grateful I found it!

[Maureen]

We are sort of in the middle of this two. Thank goodness for my husband who doesn't get upset about getting up two or three times each night to put the blanket back on one of my boys (twins - 2 3/4 yr old) or pat their back to reassure them. They go right back to sleep. I wouldn't have the patience or the energy to do that but since he's willing to do it, it works. Not sure if we are truly "dealing" with the problem this way or enabling it but since it's working somehow we haven't wanted to go through the CIO again.

Back to the goofing off and stalling bedtime. We go through that too everynight. Thank goodness both boys are still in their cribs - I cna't even imagine what life will be like at bedtime once they move to beds. I'm hoping they will be in cribs until they go to HS :) We have the pooping (once if not twice by each boy, staggered of course) right after they are in bed. We have the Daddy/Mommy, blanket. Then we have the no, Mommy, Daddy put on the blanket and vice versa. We have the need drink water. Back to needing the blanket again, etc. Then they laugh back and forth and talk which means they've stood up so of course they need their blankets on again. Then one starts to go to sleep (we can tell by the fact that the other one starts calling his brothers' name and telling him to wake up - they share a room).

As the others have said, both boys nap pretty good and they nap anywhere from 2 to 3 or so hours each day. Not worth it to me to give up the pleasant dispositions once they wake up to get them to go to sleep earlier at night.

I think it completely makes sense what Moxie said (as usual) about the fact that they probably have so much going on in their little heads, it is too hard to settle down.

[Hollie]

I'm so happy to read this, simply because when I went through this, when my son was 2 1/2, I thought this was just my own personal failure as a parent. It's awful. I wanted to buy two straight jackets, one for me and him.
Now he is 4 and things are SO much better. I wound up doing a big boy bed chart to help us through the rough nights. That way it was the chart telling us it was time to go to bed instead of me. Never thought I would do something like that, but a little less frustrating.

[ErinM]

I'm so glad to know this is a phase! my son is 28 months and this incessant "one more drink, one more book, one more kiss" thing he's got going that lasts a good 90 minutes after bedtime has got to go! We've tried moving his naptime around, going to bed later, really watching what he eats/drinks all day, but nothing seems to help. These last few nights we've been trying not to talk to him much- we put him back in bed, tuck him in and say goodnight and walk out.
The thing that really gets me is that he waits to poop until after he's tried everything else and he's tired of hearing us tell him to just get back in bed. He knows that if he poops we *have* to go in and see him. Grrrr....

I'm very afraid to cut the nap out because he is such a grouch by 2 p.m.

[Sara]

I can't believe your timing - I just sent you an email asking about this - not even 24 hours ago. Repeated wakings - with the screaming and the sibling waking. And problems going to sleep to start with.

Last night we hit on a bit of a solution, after talking it over with the 3 year old and asking what he thought we could do to solve this problem he suggested maybe he should have his pacifier for the night - something he has not done for 3 months. So we agreed to give it a go, telling him if it didn't work we'd put the dummy away and try something else. But YAY! it worked. It might have only been for the one night - the samething working 2 nights in a row is, of course, a pipe dream. At least he is now on the team trying to solve this problem.

[lynn]

Not quite the same, but I managed to solve an early rising problem at this age, with a "don't wake mommy" sticker chart. We set a clock radio in his room for the time he was allowed to get up, and any morning he didn't come wake me before he heard music, he'd get a sticker. I made the grid 5 across, and at 5 stickers he'd get a prize (usually a matchbox car or the equivalent).

[attiton]

Dare I suggest Dr. Ferber's book? The new edition is very clear about the fact that he does not support a full CIO method (he suggests that you certainly should go back in and check on your child from time to time).

Ferber has done so many sleep studies and gives so much data. In fact, most of his work has been with older kids, which is one of the big criticisms leveled at him when people feel that he is too harsh on the little babies. He's even got advice on how to help teenagers with their sleep patterns!

For those of you at your wit's end--and who haven't already done so--please check out his fundamental work (_Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems_), if only for the fact that he gives tons and tons of scientific explanations for things.

[regiemino]

@ attiton, I totally agree with you about Dr. Ferber's book. Although I have never used the full CIO method, his book is really interesting when he gets into the science about sleep and sleep problems. His method for dealing with kids who keep getting out of bed is really simple, and it works. "If you are in your bed, the door is open, if you get out it is closed" and you sit by the door and do this if necessary. I have also used this for screaming from bed. The are warned that if they yell, I will close the door. When they are quiet, I will open it. Worked with mine!

[Diana]

My six year old wakes up, comes in the room, and cheerfully announces that she has had a bad dream, and can she sleep with us?? Uhhh, no. One time I asked her what this supposed terrible dream was, and it was about not getting a puppy. And yes, I do let her in bed with bad dreams, but she has to at least pretend to be upset. Cheerfulness will not get you in my bed.

[Chika]

We are going crazy with similar problems - especially yours Alyssa. My son turned 3 in November and it seems like ever since he was really sick over the holidays his sleep pattern has been completely overturned. On days that he does nap, he has a lot of trouble going to sleep. So, we instituted a quiet time, where we read together and then he has a quiet play time, where he plays by himself and I get a break. Now, he goes to sleep with a lot less fuss - BUT he still wakes up at least 4-5 times a night. The first time is fine since he needs to use the potty, but the other times he calls for us and we have to tuck him back in otherwise he starts crying.

So, do we just continue doing this and hope that his body figures out how to stay sleeping? Or, should one of us crawl into bed with him and as a result will he start sleeping better? Or, do we set up a little bed next to ours? I really want to avoid letting him sleep with us, since none of us sleep well together.

[JenB]

We have an exactly 2.5 year old (we tend to round that "and a half" up early, don't we?) and we were so frustrated that we'd put him to bed at 8 and at 10:45 he'd just be drifting off to sleep. He switched to his big boy bed earlier with no problems but just talks and talks and talks and talks. We have an infrared video camera aimed at this bed so we know he's staying in it and some of the things he says are so so precious, but he's awake.

We have decided to make sure he is more physically active during the day. This means, he doesn't ride a stroller, get carried, or ride in a shopping cart. He walks everywhere. We're also waking him up from naptime earlier with plans to cut it out if he continues to stay up late. And going along with the more physically active thing -- less TV! Thankfully, we live in Texas and even in Jan/Feb the weather is nice enough often enough to allow us to get to a playground or park to keep him tired.

As far as screaming and from a Christian point of view, I recommend ScreamFree Parenting. It's a quick read and has been very helpful in my day to day existence. I will definitely be checking out Hedra's suggestion, though, too.

[Another Julie (in KS)]

It only took Little Man (2.5 coming in March) a week to figure out how to climb out of the crib, and unzip the baby tent. That boy is smart!

So, we got a doorknob cover for the inside of the bedroom door. So far, it's working. He plays, "reads", sings and talks and when he gets tired, he drops off to sleep. Last night, it was in the rocking chair. For us, safety was the more important issue than sleeping.

[anonforthisone]

My dd is about El P's age. We have had difficulties in the sleep department almost from the get-go. It has NEVER been easy either getting her to sleep or keeping her sleeping for a decent stretch.

The fact that she actively, consciously fights bedtime now is just another aspect of this continually frustrating issue!

I have read all of the sleep books but my favorite is "Sleepless in America." Haven't read any of the comments to see if other posters have read it. I am still in the middle of it so we haven't implemented any of Kurcinka's suggestions, but it does show me where I have seriously gone wrong from day 1.

I think in my zeal to co-sleep and be AP I neglected to take good opportunities, at appropriate developmental stages, to move my dd along towards better sleep. I mean, I have done so when I had to, but not proactively. I think every new mom or mom-to-be should read SIA b/c it's very gentle and AP (and research based) but NOT about martyring yourself and your family's sleep in order to be available in whatever way your child desires, 24/7, possibly hindering their sleep in the process.

Not that I feel I have been a martyr - I think I am actually a pretty balanced parent and while I identify with the "attachment parenting" school I am not wedded absolutely to any particular practice associated therewith. But, I think I have fundamentally misunderstood that there needs to be a certain attention given to sleep, it doesn't just "happen". I have been essentially waiting for good sleep habits to just spring forth in my dd, and I see now that that is a bit naive.

Of course, temperament has a lot to do with it. I do think some babies and kids are natural sleepers and some aren't. Guess which kind I have!

[anonforthisone]

LOL. Just reading a few of the comments makes me feel loads better; apparently my AP-ness didn't cause our sleep issues any more than the sleep training people did with their infants is causing the problems with their 3-yo's sleep.

Thanks Moxie for another great topic...off to search for one on POTTY LEARNING (ulp!).

[Melis]

I'm amazed at how many people are also dealing with this!!!

Little Man turned 3 in September and was a good napper/sleeper until Christmas, when he boxed up his "b"s for Santa. Now it's a battle to get him to lay down and stay down. I hesitate stopping the naps since he still gets them at daycare 4 days a week, and we've tried all sorts of methods at bedtime. It's even gotten to the point where he'll say "we're not going to have a fight at bedtime Mommy". Right now I think it's a control thing-much like meal times. If it's HIS idea, then it's much more of a hit than if it's our idea.

No answers, but glad to know my small person is doing pretty much what's typical.

[isabel]

This is such a fascinating topic for me. I'm a developmental psychologist who's usually quite horrified by the lack of information that we parents get about developmental stages and timing and such. Moxie's sight is an amazing exception. Anyway, I was surprised that there was supposed to be a 3 year sleep regression. I would have expected it to come a little earlier, around 2.5, because of all the cognitive milestones hit around there.

2 1/2 spells major advances in the complexity of the sentences, stories, and rules children can understand and manipulate. BThey come to understand that parents’ goals and feelings have everything to do with rules. Rules are a recipe for making parents happy or angry. Breaking rules now involves more than just a display of selfhood: it marks a true rebellion, and that’s an expression of real power. I think that's one reason why the “terrible twos” often get worse, not better, at the age of 2 ½. But kids this age can also follow rules to make parents happy or to piss them off. In other words, they can now follow rules or break them in order to manipulate other people’s feelings (manipulate not in an totally evil way, but at least in some strategic way). And this type of social sophistication is also why jealousy really comes on line full force at the 2 1/2 year time.

ANYWAY, way too long an intro to say that some of the sleep struggles I've been hearing about from my friends at 2 1/2 are about kids trying to get a sense of how much control they have over the rules of the house, how much personal power they have vs the collective "family" or "mama" power, and so on. That doesn't sound like what you're battling, Moxie, but some of the other posters' kids may be hitting this cognitive milestone. Which isn't here or there except that I like to think that milestones are a step forward and it's the only thought that keeps me sane with my 21-month old twins who may be coming out of that hateful 18-21 month "milestone" / stage / regression thingy.

[Nancy]

I am struggling. My twin boys are 3 yrs 1 month and it is holy hell to get them to sleep at night. I've done some bad things (scaring them with ghosts so they'd quiet down) and some shameful things (spanking) to combat this. I cannot get a handle on this sleep issue and have come to dread the nightly struggle.

With my 6 yr old, I probably had the same struggle but I had unlimited time to spend on her. I cannot spend an hour or two in the boys room because she needs me too and she also needs to go to bed.

I didn't realize this was a stage and maybe this will help me realize it will pass. I need better strategies than I have because what worked for a singleton does not work at all for twins.

Honestly, I will settle for playing quietly or talking or even jumping on their beds but their behavior runs to rearranging furniture and eventually one guy hurting the other (and it's always the same one hurting and the other one being hurt).

[Donna]

I had EXACTLY the same problem with my 2 1/2 year old. It started after a road trip and so I put it down to that, but when it lasted about 6 months I realized she probably couldn't remember the roadtrip and that couldn't still be the problem. In the end I can't believe how I solved the problem..... EARLIER bedtime!!! Before we were putting her to bed at around 8pm and would be up til nearly 10 with trips to the bathroom, snacks, drinks, and one drama after the next. Drove us nuts. I have a 10month old and was constantly anxious that he would be woken up with all the performing. My mom (bless her genius heart) suggested that perhaps we should start the bedtime routine earlier and make it a little longer. Well, we are now out of the bath at 6:30pm, and in bed reading books around 7pm, and by 7:30pm the lights are out and we don't see her again. She will be 3 at the end of March. I feel like I have my nights back. Baby goes to sleep at about 7pm. And he is easy (so far). Good luck to you moms finding the right solution for you! I knew she needed her sleep, cos she seemed tired, but for some reason after 2 1/2 years of going to be at 8pm she suddenly needed to go to bed earlier. Trial and error. Wish I'd thought of it sooner cos for 6 months I nearly pulled my hair out. She still has a 2 hour nap every afternoon too. Wonderful!

[JMo]

I am so glad I am not alone. Our 2 1/2 year old has started sleeping in a bed with our 7 year old. The two boys get along wonderfully and it's until the little one won't pull a Jimmy SuperFly Snooka off the top bunk. We stopped the crib because he is one who makes himself puke when he doesn't like something. So, he doesn't like his crib and I refuse to let him sleep in a puddle of vomit. Well, my husband is begging me to put he crib back together. I keep saying it will get better. Okay, so I lie down with him to get him to sleep. Bad move I know. I am a Registered Sleep Technologist for crying out loud. He gets up usually once a night, but the problem really is that he gets up at 4:20 am. And is up for the day. He want's breakfast and everything. How the heck can I watch Lost and be up at 4:20? No TIVO here. So, it's been 4:20 for almost 3 weeks. Today I didn't put him down for a nap and I hope he's extra tired. I know that this does sometimes backfire. He's so busy all day. He's bright and shiny when he gets up so it's hard to be mad but this morning I thought my head would explode.

[linda]

i'm at my wit's end here dealing with the same issue. my 2Y2M daughter has always been a good sleeper, relativly speaking, until a week ago, when the devil possessed her. she's still generally tired by 8 p.m. but now will not go down quietly. plus, she's been waking up in the middle of the night. at both times, she refuses to be alone and wants to be held. if only she would be content to stay in her room alone and do whatever, i'd be happy.

at this point, i'm still firm in my resolve not to resort to co-sleeping (never had to before), or even sleeping in the same room -- i'm a light sleeper and just cannot get enough rest otherwise. however, in an attempt to let her CIO last week, she literally screamed for 45 minutes before i caved and let her sit on the sofa (with the lights on) where she fell asleep within 10 minutes. last night i resorted to having her sleep on her small pull-out sofa in my room.

the kicker is, if she's having night-time anxieties (ghosts, monsters, etc.), she's not able to tell me, for whatever reason. when i ask her, she just wants me to hold her. how do i know if something is bothering her, which i'd be able to do something about, or if she's just stalling?

on top of it all, i'm a full-time (actually 6 days/week) working singler mother with a headcold. tired doesn't even begin to describe what i am. and i thought it was supposed to get easier. what the hay???!!!

[Roasted Squid]

I remember writing to Moxie when my eldest was 2.5 years old. I was just about to give birth to #2 and was fed up with his sleep antics and wanted them to be OVER by the time the baby arrived. At that time I thought the sleep rebellion was due to the baby coming as they started around my 3rd trimester. We had a few weeks of temper tantrums around bedtime (including throwing all his stuffed animals, blanket, pillow, etc out of his bed, then getting up and throwing all the books off his bookshelf). He also started crawling out of his bed in the middle of the night and into ours.

Sigh! We worked so hard on "good" sleeping habits! I think back fondly on the glory months from about six months to when he transitioned to a big boy bed where we could do our night time routine, walk out the door, and he would fall asleep by himself and stay asleep IN HIS CRIB. A lot of good that did!!

Anyway, he's turning three in a couple of weeks and the baby is almost five months - so we're still in the throes of the 4 month sleep regression. What has helped is to adjust his bedtime whether he's had a nap or not. If he naps, then we don't bother starting the routine until 8pm and don't expect him to be asleep until 9pm - sometimes later. If he doesn't nap, we start the routine and hour or so earlier depending on how tired he is. We really have to keep a close eye on this mood and adjust bedtime accordingly instead of just going to bed exactly the same time every time.

We also extended the routine. Before we put him down in the bed, we "talk about our day" which includes what we plan on doing tomorrow. I think this really helps him have more of a feeling of control over his life. This also the time we talk about anything that may be bothering us or him. We have also resorted to rocking him to sleep (something we hadn't done since he was a wee baby). At first it was 20+ minutes, but now we've gotten down to just 2 - 5 minutes, put him down awake, and we sit outside his room until he falls asleep. Cross fingers, going to sleep hasn't been an issue in awhile.

Staying asleep however, is still a challenge. 9 times out of 10 he crawls into bed with me anytime between midnight and 6am. Whenever he does stay in his bed all night, we give him lots of praise, but haven't resorted to an awards chart. As baby is also hit or miss with sleep, I oftentimes wake up with one kid on either side of me, smushed in the middle. Poor hubby has been relegated to the couch. No worries of baby #3 anytime soon!

I guess I'm just waiting for this phase to end...But glad to see I'm not alone!!

[exhausted]

My 2.5 year is the same. Instead of just going to bed late if she naps too late/long, now she wakes all night! And is on the boob all night. I was exhausted. Seems to be better if we limit her nap to 1.5 hours, today she could barely wake up and seemed super tired. I hope she sleeps tonight! Otherwise I feel exhausted and wired the next day.

Have tried a couple days with no naps - no, she was super grumpy - as much as I have loved the earlier bedtime I don't think it is good for her.

[Jennifer]

My daughter just turned 2 and a half and seriously is getting like 5 hours in a 24 hour period. And being 30 weeks pregnant and high risk is making it so much more fun! I wasn't anticipating this regression at all. As I type it's 2:10 in the afternoon and I've done everything but gone to the moon to get her to nap, as she has been awake since 3 in the morning and she is screaming at me. I'm about to surrender once again and walk my contracting self to the park with her in hopes it will tire her out for bedtime tonight, though she refuses to even consider sleep until 11 pm, even though we put her down at like 8.

The doctors are no help either, they said her health is perfect (blood work too!). Though you can tell she is so tired, yawning etc and very cranky. But refuses to sleep. And like you, I see it's probably not on purpose either, just that she can't. Maybe she senses the baby coming. I'm not sure. I just hope it passes soon! So as it stands, no naps anymore..trust me i try, and about 11pm-3am at night and that is it. Nothing I can do about it. I hope this regression passes soon! Does it really last until age 3? Because it's the end of October and she won't be 3 until the end of May! I'll laugh about this someday :)

[Supra Shoes]

May peace and love fill your heart, beauty fill your world, and contentment and joy fill your days.

[MorCar]

Well, my wife and I have been going through this for the last 3 1/2 weeks. And let me tell ya, it has not been fun in our household. I think this really started when our 2 1/2 yr old son moved rooms at his daycare. He is enrolled in one of those progressive daycares where as they develop mentally (and determined by age of course), they move from one room to the next. When he first made the move from the pre-toddler to the toddler room, everything was fine. We would walk him into his room at 7 at night, give him the traditional hugs, kisses, and "good night and sweet dreams" routine, he would stay in there and we wouldn't see him until the next day. Life was great! He'd wake up in a great mood, happy, full of energy, and ready to go to school!

When he moved to his new room, let's call it, "Prep of Pre-school", things changed. And boy did they ever!!! He all of a sudden cannot go to sleep. We've adjusted drastically from the auto-pilot mode of taking him to his room at 7 pm to, "let's just wait here on the couch and hopefully he'll get tired and would want to go to bed on his own", to "arrgh, it's 8:30 and he's still up and about". So now, my wife stays in our son's room to rub his back to hopefully get him to fall asleep. And when he does, we take a deep breath because it's definitely the Calm before the Storm. He wakes up at least 3 times, throwing the most intense fits, asking to be held, then not be held, then hits, kicks, and goes absolutely CRAZY!!! We're at a point now where we TRY to sleep at 8:30 or 8:45 in preparation for our long nights, but it just seems to never end!

That's my rant...anybody else going through the same thing???

[Lauren]

She'll be 2.5 in a month. She's hell right now. There have been some upheavals lately - nothing superduper but obviously enough - and we're dealing with clingy/mommy get away/screeeeeaming/papa stay with me crap for hours after bedtime, when bedtime was always slam-dunk easy.
Thanks all for the book ideas and the reminder to try bringing the bedtime down and the sport up. I'm trying to get in more cuddly parent time but it's hard when she's either scratching/kicking/smacking or we're so worn out we're too cranky to be cuddly. Or, the classic from 6:20 this morning: "I'm cold, snuggle me!" "OK, hop up in the big bed." "NOOOOO!" Followed by tearing off her own underpants and sitting, shrieking, on our bedroom floor.
Will now go check out those posts on yelling.
Community is priceless.

[Tina]

hi there I am having a very similiar thing with my son as well he is 2 1/2 will be 3 this october and he used to sleep perfectly I always bragged at how well he slept going to bed at 8 and not seeing him till the next morning at 8am or even 9. It was heaven!but now that hes older he goes to bed around 830ish 9 the latest and seems that (even though he takes a nap a day about 1-2 hours) he wants to get up about an hour to 2 hours after falling asleep and is wide awake! Sometimes he will sleep all the way up to when my husband and I go to bed and then sure enough hes up and want to be rocked to sleep... or drink water or get a diaper changed (he is not potty trained but we are working on it)... I dont know what to do. I tried having the sitter cut his nap time to one hour and even though he doesnt get up as much he still gets up at least once or twice a night. For instance this morning he was up at 530 and didnt want to go back to bed until I had to bring him in my bed and then he fell asleep instantly till 815! He is still in his crib so we havent had the joy of having him leave his room and roam around the house which is my biggest fear of putting him in a toddler bed but I dont know what else to do. How can he not be just exhausted?? Tina

[MaldonadoMisty]

One understands that our life seems to be high priced, however some people need money for various issues and not every one gets big sums cash. Thence to get some credit loans and just commercial loan will be a proper solution.

[Nicole]

My 2 1/2 year old usually won't nap on the weekends when I'm not at work (She naps for 2 hours at daycare during the week). I have discovered that on the weekend nights she knocks out once her head hits the pillow.

On many other nights she wakes up and stands at her door (I have a safety gate keeping her contained), and calls, "Mommy, I'm not sleeping. Mommy, come here." As hard as it is, I ignore her. She usually will go back to her bed on her on within 10 minutes or less when she realizes I'm not coming.

Her latest thing is to wake up at 4 a.m. calling for me. At first, I just had been grabbing her and bringing her into my bed. I worked hard the other morning and "ignored" her so I could get the remaining 2 hours of beauty sleep. She crawled back into her bed.

So I'm not sure if I have offered any great advice other than maybe try skipping the nap or cutting it short (I have asked the sitter to wake her now at 1 1/2 hours). Oh, and ignore your child. Gee, great mom huh? ;) I can say she seems to be getting it though...

[success]

For almost 6 weeks, we had major sleep issues with our almost 3 year-old. I visited this post for great suggestions, and was glad to hear we weren't alone. The frustrating thing about our son was that he'd always been an amazing sleeper, so we were shocked that he started having so much trouble. From 14 months of age on, he'd always gone right down at night and slept through except for a handful of times when he was sick. At first, we thought he was freaking out about the restrictiveness of his crib, and we changed his crib into a toddler bed. This worked temporarily, but then it got worse, with him running out of his room. Putting him back in the crib didn't work then because now he'd had a taste of the outside, and he just climbed out of the crib (he never had before). He wouldn't stay in his toddler bed, and he wanted to get into our bed in the middle of the night (he'd never had any interest in that before). Thinking he was scared, we tried everything, including letting him sleep on the floor in our room so he'd be reassured and sitting in with him when he went to bed at night. This wouldn't have been so bad but it would often take him 2 hours or more to go to sleep. In the end, we kind of ran out of patience and energy because I was in my last trimester of pregnancy and wanted to be able to go to sleep myself not sit there waiting for him to calm down, my husband was about to go away for a week on a work trip, we had the added stress of wanting wanted to nip it in the bud before the new baby arrived. We decided to let him "temper tantrum it out." We transitioned him to his new "big boy" bed and "big boy" room and told him he had to stay in bed. No exceptions. He's never been one who could fall asleep by crying, but we let him cry for a half hour the first night and then consoled him and, exhausted, he went right to sleep. The second night, he had a fifteen min temper tantrum, and then we consoled him and he went right to sleep. The third night, he decided to avoid the conflict and walked upstairs and literally put himself to bed without any help. Ever since, he's been great about going to bed at night. Two books and then roll over and sleep. Also, this has improved naps. This tactic might not work for every kid, but it was a miracle for us. And it has not only improved our quality of life as a couple because we have some time together in the evenings, but our son is getting two hours more sleep each night because he seems to be able to fall asleep better when we're not in the room distracting him. He even handed us the night light the other day because he said he didn't need it. Complete turn-around. I think this was a case of needing serious limits now that he didn't have the bars of the crib holding him in. With those serious limits, bedtime is now a happy time again. If you have a kid who you know is capable of sleeping on his own (and has always enjoyed being in his own space), it might be worth trying the crying method if you hit the sleep regression at around 3 years.