1) Alison is going to write a post exclusively about digital storage. I don't know when it'll post--maybe next week, or the week after--but be on the lookout for it. I'm so happy she's contributing all her wisdom, and the whole keeper vs. purger concept has already helped me immensely. The digital storage thing is frightening me, but I'm sure she'll help us wade through it.
3) Does anyone who's been doing T-Tapp want to write up their experience? I've been getting emails from people asking me if it's for real (from both a health improvement and weight-loss standpoint), because the T-Tapp website sounds too good to be true and too infomercial-esque. I figure it'd be easier to trust reviews from people we "know" from here. (My babysitter started doing the 15-minute workout last week, and measured after a week of doing it and has lost 2.25 inches off her waist.)
4) Here's one for you to comment on anonymously. Anonymous writes:
"I am pushing past the embarrassing nature of this questions because I really just need to confirm that other people have had the same experience! My 9-month old daughter sleeps in bed with me in the mornings after my husband leaves for work, usually between 6-8am. I get her from her crib when she wakes, we lay down and I begin nursing, we both fall asleep and it's great. Lately she continues to stay latched and sucking for what seems like that whole two hours, and I've started having sex dreams (about my husband, THANK GOODNESS) during that time, probably twice a week. I can only guess that it's from the nipple stimulation! I know it doesn't make me a pervert, and I know there is likely no way to stop it from happening (other than stopping the nursing/sleeping set-up altogether), so I'm not necessarily looking for advice. Just please let me know I'm not the only one!"
Hee hee.
Anyone?
"This just in") Thanks for making me runner-up for Best Family and Parenting Blog of 2007 on Performancing.com! Especially since I completely forgot to mention it while the voting was still open. Duh.
Hey, super wicked anon -- it sounds like you may have had a negative experience in the past that has made you feel this way about your breasts. I'm really, really sorry. And I hear you about the pressure to breastfeed, and the guilt if you don't. (I couldn't, combo of factors including NICU stay, and pumped for a time... never, ever anywhere approaching enough).
At risk of sounding assvice-y, if the prospect of dealing with this again when the new baby comes is really bothering you, it might be worth seeking therapy -- first to help you deal with the underlying issue, and later the sadness associated with not breastfeeding. Doing so would be *for you*, not for your baby or anyone else, and could be a really positive thing long after your baby is eating solid food.
Posted by: Shelley | January 17, 2008 at 03:31 PM
superwicked anon -- I'm not sure what I'm going to do about breastfeeding either. I have a lot of sensory processing issues and my breasts are very sensitive. One of the babies I nannied always wanted to take his bottles in a nursing position and, even with all my clothes on, the little feathery baby touching on my breasts made me want to crawl out of my skin. I didn't want to harm his nursing relationship with his mother so I kept feeding him in this position until I realised he was so creeped out by my crying that I wasn't actually doing his opinions of the whole nursing/sucking process any favours anyway. I have no idea what I am going to do when the time comes to confront the nursing issue for myself...I'm really dreading it. I don't suppose anyone else has coped with this either, have they?
Posted by: Jamie | January 17, 2008 at 05:53 PM
super-wicked-anon and jamie, I had something like this problem big-time. I had breast reduction surgery years ago, and that made it a lot more challenging to nurse, Also I had weird sensations when I did. I tried much too hard to nurse, then much too hard to pump exclusively, then much too hard just to keep up my supply enough to give a few ounces a day of magic mommy juice.
I was worried about whether I had made a good decision about breast reduction, and whether I was a Real Woman, and a Good Mother, let alone the Earth Mother I assumed I would become as a mom. It was all about what kind of mom I was going to be. What it was not about was what was best for the babe.
The thing is, breast milk is replaceable. Happy mommy time isn't. When I finally figured this out I realized that my conflicts and ambivalences were all about my own ego, only dressed up as concern for my child. I had a really big cry about THAT, then I gave away my breast pump, had a glass of red wine, let go of the guilt, and started enjoying my child. Woo hoo!
Posted by: anonthistime | January 17, 2008 at 08:14 PM
Not just fantasies while sleeping; when I nursed, I would zone out as she got heavier and heavier with sleep and occasionally found myself with a wandering mind. Particularly toward the year mark when all of my hormones were trying to re-set as we were winding down with nursing.
I always just chalked it up to all the warm feelings of security and contentment that nursing inspired in me.
Thanks, Moxie, for giving us a forum to admit these kinds of things!
Posted by: Anonymous | January 17, 2008 at 08:34 PM
I can't believe how relieved I feel at your comments, and that a few of you even have had similar feelings. I was seriously convinced that I was the only woman on the planet who ever felt this way. Jamie's description of wanting to "crawl out of my skin" pretty much sums it up for me.
Maybe this is good to get off my chest now. (so to speak!) I had an accident when I was young, which resulted in emergency thoracic surgery which has left scars running through my breasts, and all around my torso. It was a looong time ago, but I sleep with my arms crossed over my chest (almost fetal) and have this amazing reflex where I cross my arm over my chest and use my elbows to "defend" against any contact. Without even thinking, it's just amazing how my body wants to "protect" itself.
The thing is, I'm not comfortable sharing this info openly with just anyone. (Except all of you invisible online folks!!) It's only b/c of the nursing thing that I'm even trying to figure it out now for myself - before this I was willing to accept that it's just how I've been programmed. And sooooo many people were in my face about how I fed my son that I became a closet formula feeder, seriously taking steps to hide it from everyone. I once made the mistake of asking close relative if they'd like to feed my son a bottle - thinking they would appreciate the opportunity to bond - and they acted like I was killing him. I was dealing with the whole first-time-mother-sleepless-mind-f*ck, and I was already having my own very private issues about the nursing situation, and this "helpful" reaction just about sent me over the edge.
With all that's out there about how "breast is best" it's really really hard to formula feed. And all the scary things you read about the Bisphenol-A crap they line the formula cans with and the plastics in the bottles, etc... I can't help but feeling like I'm failing the new baby, and (s)he isn't even born yet! I will definately use glass bottles this time - I guess it's inevitable that I will end up using formula. I'm just horribly jealous of all those women who nurse for a year without even batting an eyelash.
Thank you for a very supportive place to vent this - I have about 6 weeks left to work it out.
Posted by: super wicked anon | January 17, 2008 at 10:11 PM
super wicked anon, if you really want to go all-out on the 'want them to have SOME breastmilk' thing, talk to your doc and see if you can get a prescription for banked milk for the first couple of weeks. That's what the WHO recommends anyway, as the second choice. And if not, then do your research and pick a formula that you feel most covers the issues are biggest for you in the breastmilk-benefits world - there are a few out now that have probiotics/prebiotics to support immune function, for example. The manufacturers are making the formula better and better, and I'm glad for every woman in your shoes that they are, because it takes maybe one more fraction of the unneccesary load off of you.
And your situation is exactly why I say (over and over and over) that when you see a mother feeding formula, you can guarantee there's a story there, especially with all the ads and pressure to breastfeed. And far too often, not one she's likely to want to share with a stranger. I know a couple of flip 'I just think it's better' or 'breastfeeding, ewww!' comebacks that were in fact covering heartbreaking personal histories.
Therapy for post-traumatic stress might still help (reduce the reflexive protective behaviors), or hypnotherapy (great for re-wiring things like that, at least for some people, and usually pretty quick about it!). I'd consider both of those worth a try. BUT, if this is not the time to do those things, reassure yourself with the fact that Soranus (my favorite OB/GYN, 2nd Century AD Greek) notes in his writings that many women in HIS era just plain disliked the experience of breastfeeding. This isn't a new issue. We've just historically had access to wetnurses or lactating sisters/aunts/cousins/friends, and when that wasn't there, goat/donkey/camel milk. Now, we've got formula. :shrug: The answer is different, but the issues haven't changed all that much - there have been sensory issues, physical discomfort, and psychological misfires for that long, and likely a lot longer. There's a long line of successful mothers before you who did NOT nurse their own babies. So take comfort in their arms, whenever you feel like you're alone.
Posted by: hedra | January 18, 2008 at 08:44 AM
So I am intrigued by this t-tapp thing but it sounds like my yoga dvds?
Posted by: D | January 18, 2008 at 10:15 PM
Oh super wicked anon.....it breaks my heart that there are people out there who can make a new mom feel like such crap about herself with just a few thoughtless words. But it warms my heart to know there is this community who can gather around you and tell you that all is well and you are a great mom with the best instincts for your child and yourself. Keep your chin up.
Posted by: Julie | January 19, 2008 at 11:39 PM
@super wicked anon: If you want my advice, I'd tell you to lie. Make up some heart-rending medical reason you can't nurse (I'm assuming the real one, which is heart-rending enough, is something you don't want to share with people IRL, although if you wanted to tell them about the accident you could say it left you unable to produce milk) and "break down" in front of your relatives about how you didn't feel like you could tell them etc. You'll get their sympathy, plus their support for formula feeding, all in one fell swoop.
I just don't feel like people need to learn all everyone's business, and some people won't back off unless you play on their emotions.
@D: T-Tapp is way different from yoga. Some of the same idea and postures, but a different philosophy and some of the mechanisms are different.
Posted by: Moxie | January 20, 2008 at 12:15 AM
Just in case anybody's still reading this thread…I remember being SO RELIEVED when I read in some La Leche book that it's totally normal to feel aroused and even to have an orgasm during nursing.
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Posted by: lptsgylpwg | January 21, 2008 at 11:35 AM
Moxie, I've been reading you for ages, but don't think I've ever commented. I had to laugh at parts of this comment thread, though - I'd seen your recommendations for T-Tapp and been REALLY confused by them. Turns out I was confusing it with T-Touch (http://www.lindatellingtonjones.com/whatisTTouch.shtml)! Your recommendation makes so much more sense now that I know what it is. :-)
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