Product reviews

One of these years I'm going to be the kind of woman who has everything done in plenty of time, who can just relax and coast through the last week before Christmas.

But this year I'm not, so in addition to skipping yesterday, I'm posting two brief product reviews today. Tomorrow we'll have feeding questions.

I can't tell you how much I love love love the BusyBodyBook planner I was sent to review. It's a planner, but specifically designed for people with lots of balls in the air, like moms and freelancers and people managing their parents' lives or home businesses, etc. Basically, each week gets a page, with the seven days listed down the side. Then there are 5 columns across the top that are left blank so you can assign them your own categories. That means you now have 5 squares for each day, so you can keep track of 5 different arenas of your life each day. (If you did some color coding with pens you could probably track 10 things.)

What I love is that's it's so flexible. Assign whatever categories you want to each column. Mine won't look the same as yours will, or your neighbors will. I hate being boxed in by someone else's idea of organization, so this has been a true delight. I think in academic years, so I have this one , but she also makes calendar year models (this one and this one).

My other product review is plain old Crayola washable markers combined with disposable wipes for plane rides. We used to do the color wonder markers on planes, but they're so ridiculously expensive, plus the colors are strange, and they fade. For the last few flights, I've been bringing regular washable markers. They are so washable that a kid can color all over the tray, walls, and window of the plane, and you can wipe it all off with a couple of baby wipes and it's as if it never happened.

Are you guys hanging in there? I am, but things are falling by the wayside. Post any comments you'd like to, please, from your mental state, to tips for plane rides, to what annoys you most about the holiday season to anything else on your mind.

Comments

[Mom In France]

Mom in France will soon be Mom in Tennessee. We leave Saturday for our first plane flight(s) with Boo, and although I keep telling myself that I'm zen about it, really I'm freaked out and totally exhausted from pre-Christmas activities and trying to conceive of travel Plan A, B & C. Everyone around me at work & nanny is sick from either cold or super-nasty gastro thing & I'm super-paranoid about one of us getting it. I feel organized (all presents bought, wrapped, shipped) yet somehow totally out of it. Our flight is three legs (Nice-London-Chicago-Nashville) and the long-haul doesn't scare me, but TWO airport changes? Boo is eating solids now & I have to take all that damn food with us! I guess I need to face the fact that the things I'm worried about I can't control (weather, delays, illness) and get on with it. ho ho ho.

[Mom In France]

Mom in France will soon be Mom in Tennessee. We leave Saturday for our first plane flight(s) with Boo, and although I keep telling myself that I'm zen about it, really I'm freaked out and totally exhausted from pre-Christmas activities and trying to conceive of travel Plan A, B & C. Everyone around me at work & nanny is sick from either cold or super-nasty gastro thing & I'm super-paranoid about one of us getting it. I feel organized (all presents bought, wrapped, shipped) yet somehow totally out of it. Our flight is three legs (Nice-London-Chicago-Nashville) and the long-haul doesn't scare me, but TWO airport changes? Boo is eating solids now & I have to take all that food with us! I guess I need to face the fact that the things I'm worried about I can't control (weather, delays, illness) and get on with it. ho ho ho.

[Sara]

My family and I are flying over Christmas. We are going from Atlanta to Seattle. Not a super long flight, but not super short either. I bought my kids new crayons (even though they have plenty at home), new coloring books, and a few special snacks. I think having something new will keep them a little more occupied. We also did get a portable DVD player to watch movies. Not only for our sanity, but for the sanity of the other people on the plane.

[ireps]

ooh more plane ride tips would be much appreciated for coast to coast travel with an 18M no napper. yowza.

[Nutmeg]

I have never been able to stick with a planner, but I've always been able to remember everything until I had a baby, was overloaded with progesterone and haven't had more than 4 hours sleep a night in an entire year. Maybe I could stick with this one.

I'm trying not to be concerned that the bub has dropped from 50th %ile at 6 months to 7th at 1 year. I'm trying not to imagine that it's my fault and that I'm just not feeding him enough or something ridiculous. He has tripled his birthweight, but that's not hard to do when you start off at 6 lbs.

I think I might actually be on track to get everything done by christmas. The tree has been up for 1 hour and the bub hasn't torn it down yet. Only 500 more hours to go.

[paola]

Hey Nutmeg,

I have a appointment today with the ped to get my 11.5 month old weighed. She has been consistently in the 3rd percentile, but dipped a little lower recently, so off for a weigh.
Her ped is adamant that there is nothing wrong and that's just the way she is but I always have that little niggling feeling that it's something I am responsible for, even though she is good eater, still nurses a lot and was even small in utero ( I was monitored constantly during the end of my pregnancy as they thought my placenta had packed it in, but they decided that she was just a bit small, completely healthy and so was the placenta). I have been pumping her full of healthy fattening food like banana, fruit yoghurt, olive oil in her meals. Let's see if it has made a difference

[anon today]

Christmas rant I needed a safe space to get out: My SIL emailed me last night presents from her family will arrive on the 24th and will be unwrapped. She apparently ordered off our Amazon wish list exclusively, last night. I'm hurt that we seem to fall to the level of "last minute obligation gift - thank god they made a wish list". I thought our families were pretty close (my husband's sister - last year we had Christmas at their house). I know she's busy - works and has kids - but, you know, I work and have kids, too. I have spent the entire damned month kicking my husband's butt so we could get the Christmas shopping done for his family and in the mail in a timely fashion. We (because I think he should be involved in gifts for his relatives, even thought it would be easier to do it myself) planned and bought thoughtfully and wrapped and sent. Maybe we need to discuss with SIL whether gift giving is worth it at all. Ugh.

[paola]

What's really on my mind is that my husband has been offered a job on the other side of town and it will take him 1.5 hours of travel time to get there. Currently he works 15 minutes away and it's just sooo convenient if there are any problems, if one of us is sick or if I need him home early. We have both been obsessing over the decision. Already he gets home quite late and I'm really worried our quality of life will change if he accepts the position. He doesn't see the kids that much now as it is.

[hedra]

Good luck with the growth issues - those SUCK. BTDT. Okay, still doing that, as M slowed down again (1.5 cm between 2 1/2 and 3 years old, which = growth velocity of ~20th%ile.) On the plus side, B has maintained a great growth velocity (above 90th%ile) for a whole year now. WOO! :) Of course, on the chart it looks like a blip, because he's on the low end.

Things to look into before stressing:

1) Breastfed growth patterns (especially with any oversupply). HUGE rate of growth 1-6 months, small growth 6-9 months, nearly no growth (weight-wise) 9-12 months. NORMAL, though scared me badly with G.

2) Genetic growth potential. Look up mid-parental height averaging (gold standard for estimating child's growth), and try it out. HUGE range of normal growth even then, but if you're both 25th%ile, the kid can easily be normal in the 3rd-5th%ile.

3) Growth velocity. For kids on the small side, growth charts can be really misleading. Growth velocity is highly recommended for kids below the 25th%ile (VERY highly if 3rd or below), as it shows the patterns more effectively than the charts do.

Hugs - that feeling of 'something's wrong' was my guide to finding that something WAS wrong. It turned out to be fairly easy to manage and nothing dreadful, but definitely valuable to have identified!

[Parisienne Mais Presque]

I'm so behind with Christmas this year that I'm lying awake at night worrying about it.

Which is all the more stupid that my five-month-old (who is globally a good sleeper at night at the moment, so I daren't complain) has started to wake up at the beginning of the night instead of at the end. He often wakes up JUST after I've finally managed to fall asleep myself.

Missing out on the moments of sleep you COULD have when you're the parent of a baby... there's nothing that makes you feel like more of an idiot!

[strugi]

Nutmeg and Paola,

I have an almost 11 month old (next week he will be 11 months). Your stories are so familiar-I had PIH and my placenta was monitored. At 37 weeks I was induced and had a 6 lb baby. He has be about 12th percentile since his 2 month appointment. At his 9 month appointment the pediatrician said that he is very healthy and very active and that I should expect that he will drop on the weight percentile at his next visit. He said that it is absolutely normal and not to worry as long as he is eating, active, and progressing.

I am so happy that told me what to expect ahead of time.

[hedra]

I basically have too many mental states going on at once.

1) Guilt over missing a school 'seasonal event' for G for the first time EVER. He's in 4th grade, he didn't particularly care, but I feel guilty anyway.

2) Stress over sibling-in-law issues for family events. There are rather a few of them.

3) Still digesting the final directive discussion with my mom. Makes one aware of their mortality when ya go through that kind of detailed discussion of DNRs and duration of palliative care under what conditions.

4) Conflicted between a) supporting R's lack of greed and b) the desire for her to have SOME gift from Santa (an aunt gave her what she wanted from Santa, and now Santa need not bring her anything, according to her). She's happy, but I still feel like 'but ... but ... it's SANTA. Santa MUST bring something!' And then I feel weird that I'm not just rejoicing that she knows her own heart and is happy with what she already has. AHHHH!

[Robin]

I have about 25 planners with just January marked up on my bookshelf. Still, I never learn and I always get a new one with the best intentions each year. I do always feel I have an organized January. Ha!

We're flying from Chicago to Idaho this Saturday for Christmas with our 7 month old who currently has 2 ear infections. Much as I'm looking forward to family & skiing, the fear of this flight has kept me awake the past few nights.

[AmyinMotown]

Here are my Christmas issues:
I am so Not Into It this year, which is atypical, and I am not sure why. I know some of it is financial--if my husband or I don't get a check for some of our freelance work today, it will be pretty scarce around here. And I just started a new gig, which is awesome and I love it but means I have barely had time to even notice all the fancy Christmas stuff which I normally eat up. AND, I don't even have to deal with schlepping two hours to see my Dour Country Folk inlaws--we're going this weekend instead, so I should be really happy, but I am just blah. Not enough money to participate in a charity project this year, etc. We JUST got our tree last night, and I am not really doing a lot of baking etc. This may also be because I have been sick since Thanksgiving and this cold just won't go away. I'm sick of coughing and feeling crappy. I am almost 32 weeks pregnant and know I only have a few weeks until the wheels come off the cart, and I just want to feel good and be able to accomplish things until late pregnancy takes over and I'm uncomfortable and cranky--but instead I feel awful ALL THE TIME.

End whine--I have many many blessings and am generally overcome with gratitude, and would not trade my life for anyone's. I'd just like a little more money and a little less phlegm :-).

For those of you feeling guilt about teensy babies --don't. My daughter is enormous and I can guarantee it's not superior feeding skills or mothering. It's that the Dour Country Folk are all gigungous (seriously, my 6'2", 215-lb husband is the second shortest of the bunch) and those genes are apparently pretty damn dominant. Most of the other girls her age at school are little peanuts and are just fine--healthy, smart and active. People who don't know my husband look at me and ask, somewhat concernedly "How did she get so tall?" like I am feeding her HGH or something (I am 5'2").

And Moxie, right there with ya about things falling by the wayside. I am trying to just focus on the essentials!

[Not Using My Real Name This Time]

I just feel bad because this is the year I've finally stopping liking the holidays. Sure, there were minor annoyances before, but this year I've become a holiday-hater. We had 30 (THIRTY!) gifts to buy for people. Some of these people I don't even know at all (husband's relatives), but nobody is brave enough to take a stand and put the kibosh on gift-exchanging. We have to fly cross-country (with a 9-month-old ... another rant) so we ship out all the gifts beforehand. Much as I tried to get gifts that didn't weigh much, it's too hard to figure out what to get people, period, let alone think about how much they weigh. Then we have to ship all the gifts we receive back home after Christmas. So pointless, considering I am an adult and don't need anybody to buy me anything anyway. Then there's the family dynamics to look forward to. ("Why are you spending more time with his family than with ours?") And honestly, I do not want to get together with any of my old friends from back home. Plus husband is ranting because he really can't afford to take all this time off of work. Like this is just going to be a leisurely vacation for me.

[Not Using My Real Name This Time]

I just feel bad because this is the year I've finally stopping liking the holidays. Sure, there were minor annoyances before, but this year I've become a holiday-hater. We had 30 (THIRTY!) gifts to buy for people. Some of these people I don't even know at all (husband's relatives), but nobody is brave enough to take a stand and put the kibosh on gift-exchanging. We have to fly cross-country (with a 9-month-old ... another rant) so we ship out all the gifts beforehand. Much as I tried to get gifts that didn't weigh much, it's too hard to figure out what to get people, period, let alone think about how much they weigh. Then we have to ship all the gifts we receive back home after Christmas. So pointless, considering I am an adult and don't need anybody to buy me anything anyway. Then there's the family dynamics to look forward to. ("Why are you spending more time with his family than with ours?") And honestly, I do not want to get together with any of my old friends from back home. Plus husband is ranting because he really can't afford to take all this time off of work. Like this is just going to be a leisurely vacation for me.

[Eve]

On my mind? Gosh, an awful lot. Apologies in advance for a long post:

My daughter, Ruby, got kicked out of daycare for being "too active," which prompted us to hurry up a move we were planning to make in 6 months or a year. We're moving from the Midwest to New Orleans, which is where I'm from and where I want to be more than anywhere. But I get a lot of sneering and outright shock from other people, as if I'm dooming my daughter to a life full of black mold and carjackings and debauchery. The fact that I grew up there and have been back numerous times since the storm doesn't seem to register with these people, who have never been, before Katrina or since, but still feel they know the city -- and what's right for me and my family -- better than I do.

Then there's the fact that Ruby is turning 1 tomorrow (how is that possible? my little baby?), and I'm wondering whether I should be firm with the family about getting her TWO gifts, one in birthday paper and one in Christmas paper, please. I feel like such a jerk because I know she doesn't care, but she WILL care one day. I think I would prefer people just not get her anything this year -- again, she doesn't care, and I really don't need more primary-colored plastic crap in my house (see above, moving) -- versus starting the precedent of just getting her one combined "Happy-Birthday-Merry-Christmas" gift.

And finally, I'm still recovering from her disaster of a first birthday party last weekend. It snowed 6 inches, so only three kids came, and the birthday girl herself had a 104-degree fever and missed her own party. But that's what I get for having the hubris to plan a big birthday party for a baby, I guess. :)

And finally FINALLY, big thanks to Moxie for her posted recommedation ages ago for acetaminophen suppositories. Ruby gagged and threw up just looking at the Infant Tylenol dropper, but she barely made a peep while I administered the suppository, and her fever almost immediately dropped down to 100. I'd been afraid they'd be gross, but they weren't at all. They're brilliant.

Thanks to everyone for making this site so great, safe and peaceful travels to those who are traveling, and happy holidays to all!

[pnuts mama]

i keep thinking we have the christmas thing under control until i sit down and write a list and realize i'm in big trouble- house is a mess, tree *still* not decorated, cards need to be done (BLEGH!!) and oh yes, we have to pack for our trip on sunday...where we drive...for 7 hours...with a 2.5 year old...sigh. i'm just not sure how much we'll be able to keep her happy on this trip- so much easier when as an infant she'd conk out in the car for most of the drive. i'll probably have dvd's on the laptop as well.

i am grateful that we had our 12 week sono yesterday and saw growth and a heartbeat, so we'll start telling folks at christmas. still doesn't seem real, but we told the pnut as she watched the screen and she seemed moderately interested, so that's cool.

our 36weeker was always teeny- still at 2.5 only wears a 24 month size and is only about 26lbs. she's totally healthy. gains and grows, and is only her own track with a dip here and there. we feed her full-fat dairy and plenty of high-calorie high-fat stuff to keep her that way- so far so good. you're doing well as well.

also, i need some patience for the incessant demands and "no's" of a toddler. it is starting to wear on me, and i don't always respond as the mature adult i am supposed to be. that's what i'd like for christmas.

[pnuts mama]

@eve- a good friend of ours moved down to NO last fall to teach at a new high school and she loves it! pay no attention to negative people- call them out on it- say "wow, what a strangely pessimistic view of the world! how does that work out for you?"

for the record, my husband and i moved back to nyc (where i'm from) the summer of 2001- he came in october, one month after 9/11, then the american airlines plane crashed like 5 miles from his brand new job a month later, so, i totally feel you. do what feels right- and remember, no move is permanent.

and i love the name ruby!

[Kathy B.]

Some random comments:
Moxie - "One of these years I'm going to be the kind of woman who has everything done in plenty of time, who can just relax and coast through the last week before Christmas." Getting everything done in plenty of time is not all it's cracked up to be! For the first time in my life (and I'm old - my daughter is 27 years old) I got everything done early. Tree up, house decorated, presents purchased, wrapped and under the tree. Eh -- now I've been sitting around with nothing to do for two weeks. Kind of takes the excitement out of the holiday if you ask me!

To "Anon Now" -- It sounds like you probably need to have a discussion about gift giving with your extended family. My personal opinion is that your SIL did nothing wrong in ordering gifts from your wish list (after all, why have a wish list if you do not expect people to use it.) While it would have been nice if she had them sent to her house, wrapped them, then sent to you, I understand why she had them drop-shipped directly. This is why we only exchange gifts with relatives that we are actually going to see during the Christmas season.

To Eve - My daughter's birthday is Dec 12. I didn't bother to ask people to wrap gifts in birthday paper, etc. Sometimes people were sensitive to separating the two holidays, sometimes they weren't. (I remember one year she got a Christmas Ornament wrapped in Christmas paper for a birthday present.) In the long run, it will all sort itself out. She and I had a discussion about this the other day. She said it has never bothered her.

[Kathy B.]

Some random comments:
Moxie - "One of these years I'm going to be the kind of woman who has everything done in plenty of time, who can just relax and coast through the last week before Christmas." Getting everything done in plenty of time is not all it's cracked up to be! For the first time in my life (and I'm old - my daughter is 27 years old) I got everything done early. Tree up, house decorated, presents purchased, wrapped and under the tree. Eh -- now I've been sitting around with nothing to do for two weeks. Kind of takes the excitement out of the holiday if you ask me!

To "Anon Now" -- It sounds like you probably need to have a discussion about gift giving with your extended family. My personal opinion is that your SIL did nothing wrong in ordering gifts from your wish list (after all, why have a wish list if you do not expect people to use it.) While it would have been nice if she had them sent to her house, wrapped them, then sent to you, I understand why she had them drop-shipped directly. This is why we only exchange gifts with relatives that we are actually going to see during the Christmas season.

To Eve - My daughter's birthday is Dec 12. I didn't bother to ask people to wrap gifts in birthday paper, etc. Sometimes people were sensitive to separating the two holidays, sometimes they weren't. (I remember one year she got a Christmas Ornament wrapped in Christmas paper for a birthday present.) In the long run, it will all sort itself out. She and I had a discussion about this the other day. She said it has never bothered her.

[Jennifer]

The washable crayons are excellent too. What we like for the plane is the triangular Crayolas because they don't roll off the tray-top. They come in 8 and 16 count:

http://www.crayola.com/products/list.cfm?categories=CRAYONS

I got mine at Kohl's.

[Jennifer]

The washable crayons are excellent too. What we like for the plane is the triangular Crayolas because they don't roll off the tray-top. They come in 8 and 16 count. (Look at all Crayons on the Crayola website for a picture.)

I got mine at Kohl's.

[Thoughts]

Not holiday related mental state but what has been weighing on my mind-

-Am now on the other side of the halfway mark and still don't like my new OB practice. Should i go back to old Dr who i like but will most likely have a C-section since I had an emergency one with the 1st one and he is very risk averse. Really wanted to try a VBAC so that recovery is easier.

General anxiety and nervousness now that we are on the other side of the halfway mark.

[jessica]

CRAYOLA WASHABLE MARKERS ***DO NOT*** COME OFF WALLS.

Not even with the Mr Clean Magic Eraser.

:(

[sam]

My thoughts on Christmas...not even sure what day it's on, am feeling so tired from the hourly wakings of my 16 week old baby at night. I do co sleep but I don't seem to be able to barely wake, latch her on and then drift off as is so often described.

QUESTION: if my husband takes over for a night to give me a much needed break, he will have to rock and shush her back to sleep. This normally makes her cry as she expects the boob. Will this be like a controlled crying method to break her habit of wanting the boob to fall back to sleep??? He'll be with her, but he won't be who she wants. Is this bad for her? I'll go in when it's time for a feed.

Does anyone have any thoughts?

[paola]

Back from the ped. Zoe has grown a full kilo in 3 months!!, so I'm over the moon. This has been her best growth so far apart from the first 3 months. The doc confirms that she is doing really well, and that it is just HER growth pattern. Hedra my husband and I are both tallish (i'm 171 cm, my husband 178) and weigh around 62, 68 kilos respectively ( sorry don't know what the conversion to pounds is), but my mothers side is full of skinnies and my dad's shorties, my husband's parents weren't terribly tall, so perhaps she's a throwback!! Anywya, thanks everyone for listening and the great advise.

[Jennifer]

Not hanging in there that well today. I'm at my parents with my 14 month old baby and I am dealing with her third tantrum of the day. This is so unlike her and really only started a few weeks ago. I am not sure if it's because we are in a new place, if she is sick, or if she senses things are changing (I'm expecting another baby in April). Any advice you all can give is appreciated.

[Melanie]

What's on my mind lately is HOW HOW HOW to transition from 3 naps to 2? Munchkin is starting to not want to go down for nap no.2 on time, which pushes out nap no.3 far too close to bedtime, which as everyone here undoubtedly knows snowballs into a bad night. She has also stopped sleeping through the night and wakes up at about 4:00 a.m. Not crying, just wide awake and talking to herself in her crib for an hour. Could this be a sign of needing to transition to 2 naps? She's been such a great night sleeper since 3 months so I can't think of any reason she'd be night waking now. Other than the naps. Or maybe the solid food?

Also, can't say I have any experience with low percentile weight babies. My six month old is 95th percentile at weighs over 20 lbs. She's 29 inches long. Yikes. Not a chubby baby either, just overall BIG. Doctor says there's nothing to worry about, she's healthy, but it makes me wonder about growing pains and such. Is it ok to grow so fast? She was 50th percentile at birth, 7 lbs 12 oz. HOpefully her growth slows once she's more mobile - I can't keep up with buying her clothes! she's in 12-18 month sizes now. Ugh. I thought it would take, oh, say, 12-18 months to build up this many clothes!!!

[hedra]

@paola, those throwbacks are an issue! Glad she's growing well. :) (BTW, up to 3 years, you can significantly influence growth with caloric intake IF they'll increase their intake, which some will absolutely not; after 3 years, it's growth hormones as the primary growth source, and calories tend to only increase weight overall, not growth overall. Just thought that was interesting. And unfortunate, as B lost his growth during the 15 month to 3 year window. Sigh.)

@sam, how about having him handle her in some non-shush-and-rock manner of his choosing (or rather, experimentation until he finds something that works?). At the same age, my DH could NOT hold my kids in anything like a nursing hold, or they'd FREAK (I presume it reminded them that they wanted the boob), but he could walk them to sleep against his shoulder and they'd be fairly (not perfectly, but fairly) content. Set him loose to experiment, it will be kinder to everyone in the long run. Oh, and for the crying-and-being-comforted thing... at least for stress hormones, while you may not see a VISIBLE difference in their reactions if they're crying and being comforted by someone with whom they have a positive relationship (bond, yadda yadda), the difference in their stress hormones is SIGNIFICANT. That is, comforting the distress even if it doesn't make the distress go away reduces tension and stress hormones, which are (IMHO) what can be the 'issue'. Same works in adulthood - picture having a horrible day and not feeling good on top of it, and having someone sit there with you and make commiserating noises, vs. having everyone walking by ignoring you. You still have a miserable day and don't feel good, but it's way less distressing to deal with... so yeah, it's crying, but if the focus is on the comforting, that's decent.

That said, 'going in when it's time to feed' is not always helpful for solving the overall problem (sleep disruption, say). Sometimes yes, but other times, they really do need the food. Judging which time is which takes practice and trial and error. I've been wrong in both directions, but I did eventually figure it out with each child. Just remember to give DH a full chance to figure things out, and also give yourself permission to decide this isn't working right now, and try again in two weeks.

[hedra]

@paola, those throwbacks are an issue! Glad she's growing well. :) (BTW, up to 3 years, you can significantly influence growth with caloric intake IF they'll increase their intake, which some will absolutely not; after 3 years, it's growth hormones as the primary growth source, and calories tend to only increase weight overall, not growth overall. Just thought that was interesting. And unfortunate, as B lost his growth during the 15 month to 3 year window. Sigh.)

[Sheryl]

@Eve - I live in South Louisiana. I'm in Baton Rouge, but I've been to NO recently. You can tell the nay-sayers from an eye witness - it's not that bad. The parts of the city that were bad areas before the storms are still bad areas. The parts that weren't - aren't. There is still a lot of rebuilding to be done, but the people who have returned to the area have a real vision for what the city can be, and most are committed to making it happen - even if bureaucracy makes it hard most of the time.

[Linda]

*sigh* I am thinking about family guilt. We have bowed out of my in-laws Christmas morning brunch (still doing the Christmas eve thing) so that we can have a family thing at home, just us. I don't want to drag all 3 kids to a 10 am brunch after rushing through presents. I got a v-mail from grandma-in-law, very sweet, very sad, very "I sure hope we see you this Christmas, please call me back."

I still have to go food shopping on Saturday (CROWDS! HATE!) so we don't spend Christmas day eating canned soup.

I am just crabby. Emotional eating, cold, not exercising. Am annoying myself.

[hedra]

@sam, how about having him handle her in some non-shush-and-rock manner of his choosing (or rather, experimentation until he finds something that works?). At the same age, my DH could NOT hold my kids in anything like a nursing hold, or they'd FREAK (I presume it reminded them that they wanted the boob), but he could walk them to sleep against his shoulder and they'd be fairly (not perfectly, but fairly) content. Set him loose to experiment, it will be kinder to everyone in the long run. Oh, and for the crying-and-being-comforted thing... at least for stress hormones, while you may not see a VISIBLE difference in their reactions if they're crying and being comforted by someone with whom they have a positive relationship (bond, yadda yadda), the difference in their stress hormones is SIGNIFICANT. That is, comforting the distress even if it doesn't make the distress go away reduces tension and stress hormones, which are (IMHO) what can be the 'issue'.

Not that this will be the right answer, or work, necessarily. If it doesn't work, stop and try again in 2 weeks. (Is this a sleep regression? Sometimes hunkering and dealing is all that works then...)

@ Melanie - you sound JUST like me with G at 6 months. Pound-a-week club at first, and equal proportion gains on length. Then SCREECH the brakes went on. G gained only a few ounces total from 9-12 months after gaining 1+ lb/week early on. He was solid and stocky and strong, and he eventually ended up tall-ish but not HUGE, and lean. But he does have growth pains. And those 12-18 month sizes lasted a loooong time on him as he slowed down. :)

[Julie]

On my mind today....my mother in law passed away this morning. It was a blessing......she has been VERY ill for a very long time and in July we were told it would be a matter of weeks. She was a lifelong alcoholic and suffered from severe manic depression.....so I am so thankful she is finally in a better place and free of all her demons in addition to the very painful throat cancer.

My husband flies out today, will be back on x-mas day. I'm glad for his sake that it has finally come to an end, but my heart is hurting for him - despite all the problems and years of struggle with her....he still lost his mommy today.

[hedra]

And last go for today...

@ thoughts - is there a third alternative? Find yet a further different practice? Find a doula so you have at least one positive interference factor at current practice? Can't really change the risk averse thing, I think. But can affect other factors. Good luck!

@anon today... I feel for you on the unexpected last-minute afterthought plus extra work for you feeling. I also feel for your SIL. Some years I get things done in time, and some years, despite everything, it DOES NOT HAPPEN. My advice: Don't measure their affection by their planning skills or how things got crazy this year or how many balls she dropped or with what style she tried to pick them up. Do discuss how to make it work so that nobody is overloaded or feels obligated or has extra work at the last minute, but *only* do so when you can do it as an act of mutual kindness, and not because you feel she treated your affection shabbily. JMHO.

[hedra]

wait! (yeah, somebody stop me before I post again!)

@pnuts mama. Congrats on making the 12 week window. Very cool, and so nice to announce at Xmas. Hope you have fun doing so! :)

[Kathy B.]

Pffft -- I wrote a long comment, and the system decided that my post was spam, so it is awaiting approval from Moxie! Oh well -- it was really wise advice from an old sage (LOL)

Merry Christmas everybody.

[Cloud]

@Sam- totally let your husband take a turn and give you a night of some decent sleep. You're not letting her cry it out. You're letting her and your husband figure out how he can get her to sleep. In the long run, this will be best for everyone. Now is actually a good time to start on this, since she's just at the age where sleep associations start to form. You definitely want her to be able to go to sleep for someone other than you.

For what its worth (because every baby is different), sometime around 4 months is when we figured out that Pumpkin went to sleep easier and slept longer if there was a ~30 minute break between when I nursed her and her bedtime. We put her bath and a story in there, and still do that (at ~8.5 months). This has been great, because it means that she doesn't HAVE to nurse to sleep. She still does nurse to sleep at the middle of the night feeding(s) and sometimes (but not always) before a nap.

Also- will she take a bottle and do you have enough milk stored up to give her one? If so, let Hubby do one of the middle of the night feedings, too. You might even get 4-6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. You won't believe how good this feels. You can pump first thing in the morning to try to replace the bottle if you'd like to make it a more regular thing. We do this, and it has been a lifesaver, especially through the sleep regressions.

[Jan]

On my mind: I got a not-great review at work last week. Deserved, to be fair; I have been really distracted and my concentration has been shot. I don't know whether I should try to talk to my manager and tell him what's been going on with me (helping Hubby cope with PTSD, me fighting it for ages but finally starting on ADs) or not. It feels like such personal information and I don't even know him very well. I'm not in any danger of losing my job, but I am afraid it'll affect my ability to take advantage of the great flexibility I've gotten used to (working at home when a kid is sick, or at my mom's when she's babysitting).

Also stressing about Christmas. I started a scrapbook with pictures of the kids for my mom and I know I'm not going to be able to finish it. She is so special to them and us and just does so many things for us that I really wanted to do something great that she would love and now here it is four days before Christmas and I basically got nothing.

@Eve: I have a bone to pick with any daycare that kicks a toddler out for being "too active". WTF?

[Jan]

Me too, Kathy. Hrmph. Only mine wasn't wise, it was whiny.

@anon: One possible interpretation -- I often leave the ones I care most about 'til the last, especially if I'm hoping inspiration for the perfect gift with strike. Then if it doesn't, I'm stuck with the wish list option, which feels a little bit like a cop-out for someone I really care about.

[Katy]

@melanie - Seems likely the early waking is another sign of needing to drop the third nap. Would it help the second nap if you temporarily shortened the morning nap? You could get her up a bit early from it, to help her be tired for the afternoon nap.

Alternately, if she won't go down for the afternoon nap, could she take it in the stroller/car for a little while? When my son was dropping to one nap, he'd be crabby in the morning but then couldn't really nap well in the afternoon either. I ended up doing a lot of afternoon car naps during that period (I was also pregnant and needed to be able to sit for awhile.) That way he was at least getting some sleep at the 'proper' time, and once his body adjusted to the lack of morning nap, he got much better at going down in the afternoon. Maybe doing the morning nap at home (or wherever she usually does it) and the afternoon wherever you can get her to sleep, then skipping the late nap (and maybe even doing a temporary earlier bedtime) would help her body get used to the new two nap sleep schedule. I'll warn you it seemed to take quite a few weeks for my son to adapt to the single nap (don't know if going from three to two has the same issue - can't remember how we did that with him).

Hope that helps!

[another anon]

@ireps - we have been traveling frequently with our toddler. Bring lots of small toys, LOTS of food (steamed carrots are a big hit with us), lots of books. The biggest hit is a toy airplane and a puppet. We re-enact what happens on an airplane (including "and then we take a nap!) OVER and OVER and OVER. He loves it and it helps with the unfamiliarity.

On my mind - though it's not xmas for us. My loving and definitely committed husband told me that it was such a relief when I went away for a few days, and a disappointment when I came back, because I'm so difficult to be around right now. And he's right. I'm all unhappy and even though I think I know how to fix it, I'm not sure I can.

[Nutmeg]

Thanks for everyone's thoughts and advice. He was small at birth due to PIH and did get big fast because I probably had oversupply and his reflux caused him to nurse for short periods of time VERY frequently. His interparental growth estimate should put him way, way above his current %tile (should be above 50th), but I'm going with the fact that kids under 18 months can move around the chart for no reason. In 4 months between 8 and 12 months, he gained 1 lb! Paola I'm so happy for you that she did so well!!! Peds didn't FREAK, but we are supposed to go back more frequently now for weights so we'll see what happens with that!

@pnuts mama: CONGRATULATIONS on the good news. Have fun sharing it!!!

@Anon for today: I'm struggling with the fact that my In laws sent our son kind of no-thought birthday and christmas presents, when we went out of our way to think about what each of their two kids would want and called them to ask if they had those things already and if they might actually like what we were getting. Then we get one very small gift for christmas, not wrapped, not entirely age appropriate and it happens to be a toy we already have (hard to do, as we have VERY few toys.) I mean, I hate to be ungrateful for ANY gift, but if it's the thought that counts... where was the thought? As someone once said... people who think good thoughts give good gifts.

Anyway, I guess next time we needn't give our gifts as much thought!

I've got no advice for the sleep deprived, nap perplexed, as my kid is the poster child for sleep disturbed. A hearty good luck is all I can offer!

Happy holidays to all, I finished my shopping today and the bub didn't cry in the stroller.

[anon]

I really need to vent. We are spending this Christmas with my in-laws, who live fairly far away. Hours of car travel, gifts, baking, blah blah blah all relatively under control. Problem? My husband is driving me mad. He finds Christmas stressful and not that fun, particularly because his family can be, uh, kind of intense, and is generally a bit of a grinch about the whole thing. I get that. I have sympathy. I really do. But if we were spending Christmas with my family, who live even further away, I'd be ecstatic. I'm frustrated by doing tons of preparation and planning so that we can have this Christmas that he is really not looking forward to at all, whereas I would dearly love to be with my family. I am 6 months pregnant and I really miss my mom.

And now, unlike Nutmeg's bub, I think I'm going to go have a cry. Stupid holidays.

[so, so tired]

@Melanie: I hear you. E. was over 20 lbs at his four month appt. and seems to still be going strong a month and a half later; all the 6-12 size I got to last through the winter are now comically small.

On my mind -- I'm TIRED. Like absurdly, unusually tired. E. has been an awesome sleeper from the start and typically only eats once after we've all gone to bed (we co-sleep and I go right back to sleep as I'm feeding him) so there's no change there. But I've been so sleepy for the past few weeks, I've been falling asleep when I feed him around 8pm and/or taking a two hour nap every day (and "making" him take a nap with me sometimes when he doesn't seem inclined to).

It's just not normal for me to sleep 9-11 hours a day, and has me kinda worried. On top of that, I had some pinkish discharge yesterday & today. I've had low thryoid since before E., though my doctor did lower my medication a month and a half ago because I was testing as hypERthyroid now; could it be that? I'm loathe to get the blood work done since my new insurance doesn't cover it, but I'm guessing that's the first step. The only other time I've been this tired was my first trimester; could I be pregnant???? I'd think it would be pretty unlikely since I'm still exclusively breastfeeding and using a diaphragm too, but I'll get a test today anyway.

Anyone have any advice or similar experience? My diet and exercise level haven't changed much either (okay, maybe a few more sweets lately), so I'm at a loss to explain this.

Thanks to all for being such an awesome community, and happy holidays!

[Kansas Jen]

On my mind: Just found out I'm pregnant again. After two miscarriages, I'm finding it hard to take this pregnancy seriously.

Thankfully, I'm in better overall health and much less stressed this time, so there's some hope for me.

I'm going to go ahead and tell the parents and the in-laws when I see them next week, just so they know why I'm sleeping 18 hours a day. Also, I found out that's it's hard to explain why I'm so upset about a miscarriage when they didn't know I was pregnant in the first place.

[sam]

Thank you Hedra - that has put my mind at rest. We'll see how it goes...

@Linda - I think you should plan to do something nice for yourself. It sounds like you're doing a great job juggling your family committments. Indulge yourself and stop feeling guilty as you have clearly got everyone's best interests at heart.

[Charisse]

@Melanie, nap transitions are a pain, but it sounds like you might be in one (also a developmental spurt, with the waking up and talking). It will ultimately be one less thing to worry about in your day--basically, just go with her going down later for the 2nd nap and then keep her up until a slightly earlier bedtime than before. If it's a real transition, you might see a bit of late-day fussiness but not too much, and her bedtime will adjust over a few weeks to pretty much where it was before. (It might be a little earlier than average for the 3 > 2 transition--my girl was that way, down to 2 by 7 months and 1 by 13 months and 0 (mostly) by 2 years. If she's happy and not tired, you're at the right amount of naps.) Good luck!

I'm kinda stressed about xmas & I have been too busy at work to get to yoga the last couple weeks...and I realized my stress level was high when I started freaking about the killer adenovirus reports. Need to calm down. Got my packages mailed to Seattle yesterday, and got a bit of shopping for Mr. C done as well when my computer died and I had to leave work early. Not done with Mouse yet--dollhouse ordered & coupla books but still thinking of something else. We're supposed to drive to LA this weekend to see my MIL, but since neither she nor Mr. C are big planners, I don't know all the arrangements yet. I am reminding myself that I will only get more annoyed if I try to get in there and make them myself--the non-planning way usually works out just about as well as my more anxious one in the end.

[no one needs to know]

Having a unique last name means that when one of your relatives is in trouble and makes the news, EVERYONE knows what's going on in your family.

Also, I wanted to start ttc this cycle, but we don't have our donor stuff worked out, and I'm going to ovulate on Christmas anyway. Yet, I can't bring myself to stop trying to pack the OPKs.