Holiday gifts pt 1

The rest of this week is going to be a series about holiday gifts. Today we'll talk about things you can buy, tomorrow about things you can make, and then Friday we'll have a guest post from my brother, a carpenter, answering a question someone sent in about making wooden blocks.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that we're all looking for more meaningful gifts than just going to the local big box store and picking something up. It seems like we're also concerned about too many gifts, and finding gifts that are produced safely and in ways that help (or at least don't harm) the workers who make the items. The obvious first stop is fair trade.

I'm going to plug my own favorite fair trade catalog, A Greater Gift, one more time. Don't forget that they have fair trade chocolate Hannukah gelt and also fair trade chocolate Advent calendars.

Deanna, who works with the Fair Trade Federation, wrote in to give me this amazing list of fair trade catalogs and online stores that sell gifts. There's an entire store that sells beads handmade by women with HIV in Africa, one that sells Vietnamese folk art, another one that sells shea butter and African black soap, one with fair-trade olive oil and other foods from Palestine, and dozens of others. Absolutely worth a look.

Rudyinparis (who's really in MN--who knew?) writes:

"I would love to give and receive magazine subscriptions this year. After Brain, Child I run out of good ideas. What magazines does this community absolutely love that would be great to give or receive?

I am on the rampage about reining Christmas in (i.e., the amount of stuff we accumulate). What suggestions does this community have that would help make the holidays really meaningful and not just about getting a bunch of items? What holiday memories do you remember from your own childhood that really stand out? Are there specific rituals that you do that are very meaningful to you and your family?

As we gear up for the holiday season, I would love ideas and suggestions from this always brilliant community."

I can tell you the magazine subscriptions I'm getting. My older son is getting Sports Illustrated for Kids, because he loves to read and he's crazy about sports. My brother is getting Outside Magazine, so he can turn into a mountain man and teach me how to snowboard next year. My mother and I will be renewing each other's subscriptions to Interweave Knits. (To whoever asked a few days ago if I was a CEO and a knitter: Yes, I am. I am the CEO of AskMoxie.org, and a knitter.)

As for alternate ideas and traditions, how about this amazing one Jan left in the comments of the Halloween post a few weeks ago:

"I've got three brothers, all married, which makes eight of us that really don't need anything for Christmas all trying to shop for each other. We tried drawing names, but that didn't really feel any better to us.

For the last few years, we've done the same thing. We go to a local organization that has an Adopt-A-Family program at Christmastime and ask for a family of four. Each couple in our family is assigned a member of the adopted family to shop for. We don't tell each other what we're buying.

We have a get-together in early December. The eight of us (and our kids) get together and WRAP the presents for the adopted family. It's amazing how much this feels just like Christmas gift unwrapping. There's seeing what everybody got. There's showing everybody what fun gifts you found. There's gift wrap and ribbons everywhere. :)

We also buy a gift certificate for a grocery store and usually one other family gift (zoo membership, passes to movies, depends on the ages/interests of the family). All told, we usually spend about $300 -- $75 per couple, which is about the same as we were spending when we were drawing names (two names for each couple).

We still do gifts for the kids at Christmas, but we grownups are so much happier with this setup. I highly, highly recommend it."

I just love that.

So, any other ideas? We'll be doing things we can make tomorrow, so hold off on those for now.

Comments

[hedra]

If you want an interesting news magazine that has short enough bits for parents to read (in the constant state of interruption), but that covers various viewpoints and world news, try The Week. Good for your 'need to stay informed' friends/family.

Another idea for giving things 'for' kids without being 'to kids': give to the kids' schools. Subscriptions to science and news magazines are usually appreciated. The kid gets to enjoy it all (school) year, the other kids benefit, and it doesn't accumulate at home.

Things to buy that we've appreciated: Things that go together and grow over time. You know those plastic animals that are about $3-7 each (some big ones more)? I remember we had the full set of whales as kids - got a few more when we could, and LOVED the full set. It grew over time, we learned the names of lots of them (they're on the bottoms of the good-quality ones), and I still remember the satisfying heft and feel of them. Now, my mom collects them for the grandkids, in sets that are of interest to them: Prehistoric Animals (ice-age mammal types), dinosaurs, Africa animals, and Alaska animals - oh, and a set of animals that match the story my mom makes up for them at bedtime (which is an ongoing saga involving various imaginary and real animals). The manufacturers make new ones every few years, so you can go on and on and on. They're educational, and with a little effort you can make (tomorrow) places for the critters to play (we used a box lid, some containers, and a layer of plaster, plus some plastic plants to make a jungle with mountains).

Likewise, a sturdy castle or dollhouse can grow over time, starting with a few small (well-built) dolls, and going up in detail (and fragility) as the kids get older. My kids love both - the girls love the castle as much as the boys love the dollhouse, so you don't have to play to gender. Aim for something they can argue over when you die, for their own kids. Quality counts. ;)

For older kids: G (10 on Friday!) loves loves loves his Cash Cache from Money Savvy Generation (they posted a link here a while back). Some bucks and one of those, and he's happy! He's been reading it to his little brother at bedtime (heh! Our nefarious plan to get them all interested in money management is working!). Our younger ones have a setup like the Money Savvy Pig things (separate saving for save, spend, donate, and invest), but those and some rolls of coins for the younger ones... if it won't sound like a smack in the face to the parents (if you're thinking relatives other than your own kids).

Memberships to zoos and museums are a fabulous idea. We also do donations to favored charities for those who 'have plenty of stuff' - an In Your Name, Someone Has Been Helped is right in tune with the season. You can check Charity Navigator type sites for listings of quality charities, to make sure your money does the best it can.

We're working on the general 'tools of the trade' themes, too - working toward skills-building. Some of those will be toys, but some are just kid-sized tools. For R, that means garden sets this year - real tools, gloves, buckets. For M, it's helping her understand mechanical engineering (okay, so she's 3 - that means Gears! Gears! Gears! sets, but you can see her brain working as she's turning this handle and watching which gears turn, following the track...). For B and G, there's also cooking gear - try GrowingCooks.com (inexpensive, but how totally cool!). That plus a spatula and a box of pancake or brownie mix...

We do have the ever-present gift-card-to-book-store option, as well. About 3/4 of our gifts are in that form, for family kids. And art supplies. A new set of crayons was one of my best Christmas memories. I think I spent a good two hours getting the colors in the order that *I* thought they should be... I can still smell them. :)

[Alice]

Well I'll kick it off by saying that we MAKE our Christmas tree. I've been doing it for a few years and now my daughter is here, I want to carry on that tradition.
The rules are: 'You can make the Tree out of things that are already around the house.'

This year since I have a lot of fabric, it will be made out of fabric. But I have drawn a tree on paper and put it on the wall, made a sculpture out of paper and a step stool. Etc

I know it doesn't solve the Christmas gift ideas, but I love the creative aspect of it.

Magazines: Mental Floss is great for guys, Bust is great for women. (This is usually my wedding gift idea.)

[heather]

I LOVE Jan's idea. It would never fly in my family though--they are sooo looking forward to their annual amazon.com gift certificates. Blech.

Out little one is only 7 months this year, so we can get away with not buying her anything--the grandparents have it covered for us. We have wish lists at oompa.com and moolka.com to give them ideas.

[d]

We do the adopt a family via work and its been a huge part of feeling good about Christmas. I loved being part of it.

We plan on culling the mound of toys in the corner of our living room - one toy in for Xmas? ...Then one toy out to a local shelter etc. I keep boxes and instructions just for this reason ;-) And as little bug gets older, I will expect HIM to do the regifting of these toys.

[hedra]

Oh, and this year I've kind of coordinated the gifts from other family members as much as possible - so one sister got R a set of large garden tools for her birthday (3 on Friday!), and we've listed other garden-related items for other relatives. We're also vaguely thinking it's time for a tool box and tools for G at Christmas, which various relatives can contribute to with each choosing the level they wish, without overburdening anyone. That's still in the vague thoughts world, but it's an idea for a more-impact, less-cost-per approach.

[Cathy]

I think last year we all went to Wal-Mart and everyone got to pick out 2 board games to give to Toys For Tots - this was "our gift" for my dad, aunt, uncle, Grandpa, and my uncle's dad who tend to be a little grinchy about giving us wish lists. Then take a picture of the assemblage and write a note saying what they did for Christmas.

Also have done the same basic thing for my dad with Angel Tree gifts, usually trying to pick out a kid similar in age and gender to one of his own grandkids.

This year I'm thinking about sending oranges (we live in Florida) to another aunt who is also very hard to buy for.

My husband asks for magazine subscriptions a lot - Popular Mechanics, Popular Science, Scientific American, things of that bent.

So, for grownups, I like to go with consumables, donations, or something useful.

[AmyinMotown]

I LOVE JAN'S IDEA. Sorry for the all caps but that is how much I love it. I don't know if my family would go for it, and our geographic locations are too far apart to really make it work. Sigh. But I love it. This could also work with groups of friends who exchange presents too.

My family decided, once my brother and I both had children, to only give to the kids. We do usually go in on something for our parents as well. We all agreed that the important thing is time together, and with limited resources we'd rather spend the money on a delicious meal than gifts. It's kind of a bummer because I am that weirdo that LOVES Christmas shopping, but it's so much fun to do for my nephews that I don't mind not getting stuff for other people, and I really don't mind not getting stuff.

Magazine subs: I agree with Brain, Child--as I matter of fact I let my subscription lapse because we have no money right now, and I think I'll ask for that from my husband for Christmas! For kids, there is Cricket for older kids (stories and poetry--I got it when I was a kid and saved every one) and the same company has magazines for older and younger kids but the names escape me right now. I like Real Simple and Cooking Light--yes they are mainstream, but the photography and design of Real Simple is beautiful and the articles give me hope of being organized, someday. And Cooking Light has lots of healthy, fast menu ideas and is vegetarian friendly. They use more fake food such as botted, minced garlic (ICKY) than I would like, but less than a lot of other magazines. And one of our cooler wedding presents was a subscription to the New Yorker. I have to agree that they are great gifts.

Memberships are great too, if you have more to spend. Zoos, children's museums, etc.

As far as rituals, we are churchgoers, and Christmas Eve Mass is always beautiful and meaningful and helps connect me with childhood memories. Our church does a children's service early and midnight mass as well, and both are wonderful. Evenn if you are not a "church person" the rest of the year, I do recommend church services--it keep the focus on the spirtual meaning of the season, and from a sensory standpoint churches tend to pull out all the stops with decor, music etc. at Christmastime. I know at my church, we're used to and welcome the sometime visitors.

I also have started making cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning, and my mom and dad come over in their pajamas and we all eat fresh cinnamon rolls and open presents. My husband's family lives two hours away--enough to feel we have to see them on Christmas (they only really get together on Christmas so it's a must-do), far enough away to make it a pain in the ass to go, so my poor parents generally end up alone on Christmas Day and this is a nice way of making the day special.

Last year, we walked around the neighborhood looking at light displays. Free and fun, and I think we'll add it to our tradition list.

[Rachel]

I think kids of all ages like magazine subscriptions. They enjoy getting mail that's just for them, and magazines are great for car or plane trips.

Here's where I disclose that I work for Cricket Magazine Group, a publisher that, in my opinion, puts out some of the absolute best magazines for kids of all ages. Some of you may remember Cricket, which has been around for 30+ years. Well not enough people know that Cricket now has a dozen or so sister magazines for kids of all ages and interests. The one I write for the most, Click, is a science and nonfiction magazine for kids ages 3 to 7. If you're interested, you can read descriptions of all our magazines at www.cricketmag.com. Also, lots of libraries get most or all of our titles, so that's a good place to check them out.

At $30 plus, the price for a subscription does seem steep, but none of the magazines accept outside advertising. And quality kids magazines can be kept for years and re-read, just like books. It's another lead-free idea for holidays or birthdays.

[ABCD]

Ranger Rick, Your Big BackYard, National Geographic Kids, Highlights -- all great magazines for kids!

[Shandra]

I pretty much always give books to extended (10 & up) family, but sometimes I branch out to board games. I like to kick the money back to publishers, and the post-meal sit around and read thing is a tradition.

This year I'm giving: the Schultz biography, a Canadian amazing book called The Film Club which is the best story of teen parenting I've read in a long time (sorry, I don't think it's available down there - yet hopefully, but it is at amazon.ca), Eat, Pray, Love for the weirdos that don't have it yet and a few more personal picks.

One question: Anyone think it's overly aggressive to give Francesca Lia Block to a 12 yo step niece and a 13 yo niece?

For kids we bought our son the Plan dollhouse (at a clearance sale). For my toddler nephew we got him a drum from a Thousand Villages shop; my 6 yr old nephews are getting Playmobil as requested.

I'll share our tradition: we deliver Meals on Wheels on Xmas day almost every year. Usually they only give us about 2-3 to do, but I tell you that visiting people who have no one to sit with them on Xmas day puts the whole thing into perspective pretty quickly. (The local meals on wheels agency gives free meals on Xmas to anyone in the community anyone else identifies as being in need.)

[dawn f]

National geographic kids and wild animal baby(a board type magazine/book for the toddler set) and of course lots of art projects. For most of the relatives we don't do gifts just for the kids but we give the grandparents a calendar with 12 photos of the kids so they get to see shots of them as they grow up since they are all so far away.
Aloha

[sue]

Magazines - My favorite is Eating Well. They have fabulous recipes and nutrition information. Sometimes it's hard to decide what to have for dinner because there are too many ideas :-) That's the only magazine I get and give, so my only idea contribution :-)

We're trying Adopt-A-Family this year. I LOVE the idea of assigning each member an individual and getting together to wrap. Unfortunately, my family would SO not go for it. I asked my parents if we could Adopt a family in their honor this year and their response was to suggest that we get them a gift crtificate to a nice restaurant. hmmm. At least my brother is on board this year. He's agreed to give something to charity in our name (his choice of charity) and I'm knitting his fiance a tea cozy and him a hat.

For family that insists on buying gifts, which is most of mine, I've started asking for things I would get anyway. This year, my wish is for snow tires (my parents like to spend a ridiculous amount of $$ on Christmas. That should take care of most of it) and from my in-laws, a gift certificate to a yarn store. Then I can buy that gorgeous fancy locally "grown", spun, and dyed yarn that I can't normalloy affortd. Likewise, we're getting my father-in-law a gift certificate to the store where he buys his photo matt boards, and I'm knitting my mother-in-law a tea cozy (feel free to laugh, I know I have a thing for tea cozies this year. But both women are tea cozy kind of women, so they'll be appreciated).

For everyone else, I make gifts each year. But I'll save that comment for tomorrow's handmadegifts post.

For our kids, we buy as little as possible. Tey get enough from family members. I'm Santa-opposed, but have lost the argument with my 3YO. She's adament that Santa exists and is bringing her gifts, regardless of how many times I tell her that Santa is like Dora and only exists in story books. So, I guess Santa exists in our house. He'll be bringing a pencil sharpener for the 3YO (she asked for it) and some hand-me-down toys for the baby (a friend was clearing out and we made a killing).

And my husband and I don't do gifts for Christmas. We give small (<30 dollars) gifts for birthdays and Mother's Day/Father's Day, but don't do anything for Christmas, Valentine's Day, or our Anniversary (heck, we forgot our anniversary this year).

[Maureen2]

One thing we do to try to keep the holiday special is to enjoy it the whole month by finding holiday festivities (which really do not involve any gift giving). My little boys loved the holiday lights last year and so we will definitely be making an evening (or too) this year of driving around to see all the great light displays. The boys love the decorations and get the house looking all festive so that will be a couple weekend days as well. I'll try to find fun crafts that are holiday/winter related, etc.

As for gift giving and trying (so hard cause even if you are on board for doing that it seems like no one else is) to cut back on the gift giving, I know growing up our stockings were so much more fun to open than anything else so I will probably try to make that my boys' main attaction. The size of the stocking will force my gift giving to them to be scaled back some.

My boys are really into their wooden train right now which is great as it is a shared toy (less fighting typically) and it makes for very easy presents in smaller price ranges for everyone else - they can just add a random piece to the collection.

As for magazines, my boys aren't old enough yet to really get a magazine subscription - the gazzilion catalgos that come in are more than exciting enough for them right now - but I love magazine and subscribe to Oprah, Real Simple, Cookie, Wondertime, and Parenting. My grandpa has given me my Oprah subscription for my birthday the last 5 years (or so) and it is great cause I enjoy the magazine and I truly think of him each time it arrives (and I am positive when the time comes that he's not here with us any longer, I will still think of him each time the magazine arrives).

That said, I'm dreading the mound of random, plastic toys that family members will be giving to the boys. They don't need more "stuff" and yet I see these family member at non-holiday times so they will notice if we've regifted the toys and they aren't around being used. UGH.

[Christiana]

My grandma used to always give tons of books to each child/grandchild for Christmas - and to tell you the truth, those are my favorite gifts. A Borders gift card has been on my wishlist for years - it would be there year-round so even if the book isn't out yet, you can still have spending it to the look forward to. I love giving books to kids - parents rarely complain about that and what could be better than encouraging a kid to read?

[Maureen2]

As if my last post wasn't long enough...

Forgot to add that when I get gifts for kids (friends' kids, relatives, etc), I almost always get them books. I think that is a gift that just keeps on giving and one can never have enough books :)

For my mom, dad, in-laws, I make/buy a photo calendar on one of the photo websites using pictures through the year. Always goes over so well and it is sort of a nice combination of commercial yet handmade at the same time.

[Shandra]

Ohhh wanted to add on the Santa thing. We are really wondering what to do about Santa and if there is space for a post about that sometime that would be excellent.

What I think we're deciding is that Santa will come but the "ask for something from Santa" will be super low-key (ie we'll ignore it mostly) and Santa will mostly bring a few Xmas related items like one ornament per person, chocolate.

[Shelley]

I like giving GREAT kids' CDs by Farmer Jason, (the alter ego of Jason Ringenberg, formerly of Jason & the Scorchers) -- they don't take up so much space, and most parents welcome more music for their kids. They feature terrific, witty lyrics, alt-country feel, so I like 'em too. There are two: A Day at the Farm with Farmer Jason and Farmer Jason Rocks the Forest. The farm one probably skews a little younger, and the forest one has a lot of environmental themes. Both are great CDs you won't mind listening to over and over again -- see www.farmerjason.com for ordering info, also available on Amazon.

For adoring grandparents, child-themed gifts like calendars with photos, cement paving stones with the kids' hand- and footprints (kits available at Michael's and similar stores), framed photos are always popular.

[michelle]

we have a huge extended family so we are planning on sending out an early holiday card (this week) to announce we are adopting a family and not exchanging gifts. not sure how it will go over....
so our plan is to only get gifts for each other and our DS.
But i love the calender idea. maybe i'll get one for each of our mothers. vistaprint.com has them on sale all the time. (think one free but you pay for shipping). i've also done photo mugs from Costco - very nice picture quality.

[paola]

I have difficulties thinking of what to get my two for Xmas as they are also January babies and that means more pressies after a month and a whole lot of immagination that I don't have.It would be nice to give them something really meaningful that combines the two celebrations, but I might leave that till they are old enough to appreciate it.

Also the little one is 10 months old and has inherited all her brother's toys from when he was little and so I really don't know what she could do with (We only bought Noah I present for his first Xmas and another one for his birthday, so will probably do the same with her).

Something I have been meaning to do for the last three years ( since the tsunami of 2005) was to sponsor a child in Asia or Africa using the money we would otherwise spend on ourselves. But isn't it awful that I just haven't got around to it yet???!!!

On a selfish note, I would just love to have full day to myself as a present. With two kids under 3 who just suck you dry sometimes, it would be great to spend a day shopping, or sightseeing ( btw, in these 3 years I haven't been able to do it once as my folks are all in Aus and so I have no one I can leave the kids with)

[cricket]

we don't live near family and spend xmas alone or with friends most years. to make the holiday feel more like our own, a few years ago we started picking a different country and celebrating xmas like they would. we research their traditions & foods & maybe learn to say "merry christmas" in their language. we've had some wonderful food (thank you france & germany) and tried some unusual traditions (hats off to poland) and had a thoroughly good time in the process. we manage to work in some of our respective family traditions as well by having gumbo for dinner on xmas eve and cinnamon rolls on xmas morning. (does this sound like we only celebrate by eating?) i'd like to get organized enough to have gifts match the culture we're celebrating each year, but we'll see if that ever happens.

[Stine]

I LOVE Cricket magazine - read it as a child and now with my own kids. We've gotten Babybug, Ladybug, and Click too - all from the publishers of Cricket. Really great short stories, poems, and Ugly Bird's crossword puzzle. It is worth the price - we have kept them all and re-read them (I still have my collection, including the first issue)

[Maria]

I can't comment on the gift-giving much, as here in the Netherlands we have the Saint Nicholas celebration on Dec. 5, which is the big gift-giving extravaganza for children. On Christmas Day, it's usually small, meaningful gifts between adults. Commercialism is pushing X-mas as yet another occasion for big gifts, though. Boo.

As for traditions, we used to go to midnight mass (I assume when I was little, 'midnight mass' was really evening mass) and have breakfast afterwards. A real sit-down breakfast with white table cloth, candles, X-mas bread, butter figurines. It's one of my favorite childhood memories, because it was so special to eat breakfast in the middle of the night.

My dad still does this for my aunts and uncles and my grandfather. They go to church, he has breakfast ready afterwards. I still love it.

[Jan]

Hey, I'm famous! Woo hoo.

We are doing our Adopt-A-Family thing again this year (and I wanted to add that we keep the get-together easy by having an appetizer potluck, then the host does dessert and we skip the main dish -- what's more festive than a meal composed entirely of appetizers and dessert?) though it'll be a little smaller because one brother and his family have moved away. I hope they'll still participate in the gift part, but they won't be able to attend the get-together.

The other Christmas tradition I'm doing to reduce consumption is that since we've had kids, I'm making a scrapbook of them and giving it to their grandparents as a gift. It's honestly something I'd like to do anyway, but might not get around to if it weren't for the deadline imposed by the holiday. The grandparents love it, the kids think it's great. It's a win all around. (Plus, and forgive me if this is too practical-slash-gruesome, I figured I'll get it back someday!) I'm doing a handmade one for my parents, but have also done printed ones from www.mypublisher.com (if you're a Costco member, go through Costcophotocenter to find them and you'll get a 20% discount) that were very reasonably priced (if you don't count the time I had to spend organizing and captioning the pictures!) and we were happy with the quality. Multiple copies of the same book are discounted, so this is a great option if you and/or your partner are, um, product of broken homes (IOW if your kids have a billion grandparents)

I have a gift thing, too. The Giving Tree is a place in Seattle where my parents volunteer sometimes (link here: http://givingtreetoys.catholiccharitiesseattlearch.org/ ) They make and sell wonderful wooden toys. The shop is next door to a housing facility for formerly homeless men over 55. The men (along with community volunteers) make the toys. Some are donated to children's charities, and the others are sold to help support the housing.

Here's their catalog:

http://givingtreetoys.catholiccharitiesseattlearch.org/catalog.php

We've got some of the toys and they really are beautifully made.

The comments are making me so grateful for my family; we're lucky that we're all on the same page about the message we want to send to our kids and each other about Christmas.

Yikes, I wrote a book. Sorry. I just think there are so many better options than buying the latest greatest Elmo-Dora-Bratz contraption from your "local" Biggie-Mart. I'm delighted to see it being discussed here.

[Maria]

Oh, and I just love the 'post-meal sit around and read tradition'from Shandra!

[Kay]

My brother/wife, my husband/me, and my parents adopt a family every year instead of exchanging grown-up gifts. Although I love to give stuff, and usually do it anyway.

I try to cull toys about every 3 or 4 months. This is just to make room for the toys that seem to multiply like rabbits. When the kids get older, I will have them do the culling themselves.

For friends, we've gotten down to generally exchanging ornaments.

A friend from work who has a circle of friends - they all plan a huge girls night out dinner instead of exchanging. Their gift is their time to each other. I like that.

[rudyinparis]

Jan, I particularly love any suggestions that can be filed under the heading "practical/gruesome"! I asked for a living will for a birthday once.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, all. I will be printing this out and poring over it with a highlighter. My goal is to initiate a Big Family Discussion at the Thanksgiving table.

[Kate]

One of the nicest gifts I saw "given" lately was at the last La Leche League meeting I hosted--a very new mom came with her mom, who paid for a year of membership to LLL ($40). (Membership comes with a subscription to the LLL magazine, New Beginnings, so it's relevant to the question :-)

I am going to bring the Adopt-a-Family idea to some of my relatives. The "adults" (all over 40 now--the generation above me) has always done a gift exchange out of a hat, but I think they'd be happy to put the money to people who really need it.

[Emily]

We got an ad with our regular National Geographic subscription for National Geographic *Little* Kids, which is meant for preschoolers. The ad listed the price as $15 for a year (which isn't 12 issues but 6 or 8, I think), and I've been wanting to get it for my 2.5-year-old because I think she'd love having her own magazine to peruse. :)

[Cathy]

Emily - National Geographic for Little Kids is the one magazine for my little girl (almost 5) that we re-upped this year. (sort of bizarre to me that a 4 year old had 3 magazine subscriptions) It is fun to read it with her, the pictures are great, and it usually has an interesting project at the end - like making slime.

[Simone]

I know this may not *seem* like a great gift for a four-year-old, but we plan on getting my son a nightstand for his room. To explain, his room is set up with a little reading "nook," with a bookshelf, papa-san chair, and reading light. It's where we do bedtime stories and read as a family. But recently, he's been interested in practicing reading on his own, and wants to read in bed. So, I figure the nightstand will be so that he will have a place next to his bed where he can keep a book or two, plus his lamp. So the real gift will be the "privelage" to read by himself at night, and turn off his own light. But since we'd need a nightstand anyway to make that happen, it's a practical way to communicate that to him.

[Jill]

We give one gift to each family/extended family member and hope that that's all they'll give our kids. Santa will also bring each of our children something special.

Santa is our family tradition- in an unusual way. SUE- maybe you could try this. When I first learned the truth about Santa I was bothered that my parents didn't have stocking so we could give them presents too. So a new tradition began.

As the youngest family member, I put a small gift/treat in every stocking, then rang our sleigh bells and went to bed. My sister went second, filling each stocking-- grownup and child. The last "Santa" was my mother, who polished off the gift giving, rang the sleigh bells and also came up to bed.

We knew that we were part of "Santa" and that he was a spirit. It was exciting to put gifts in everyone's stocking and it taught us that we weren't at Christmas just to receive. My kids certainly believe in Santa, but also know that we all have filled the stockings together. The 6yo hasn't specifically mentioned the connection that WE are Santa, collectively, but he should have an easy transition sometime soon. I hope the Santa story won't ever feel like a lie to them this way.

[Rosemary]

Totally off topic - but

Paoloa! As soon as I saw you write "pressies", I just knew you had some Aussie in you, even if I already knew you lived overseas.

'Tis the season for Chrissie at the rellies with a barbie and some pressies!

Anyway, as it is summer holidays over Christmas here, we do tickets to theme parks, cinemas, summer classes (like cricket coaching camps, swimming camps, drama classes, cooking classes) for the kids. For adults, we do cooking classes, woodworking classes, outdoor theatre.

My mother in law loves cappucino. We buy here a gift voucher to have 1 cappucino a week for the next 52 weeks.

[Lisa]

We buy only for the kids too now that we all have them. But to do something meaningfull as well, the adults all buy a gift from the Unicef (or equivelant) website and donate a usefull item to a person in need on behalf of another family member. EG - I would buy a set of gardening tools for a family in Ethiopia on behalf of my brother. It's working really well, and we all feel good for doing something positive in the world, and we don't all end up with candles and soaps for Christmas!

[Brooke]

For magazines- my daughter (2ish) gets Babybug and Animal Baby. We are asking grandma for The Little Lutheran, but that's probably only a good gift for a very specific demographic.

We also like Heifer Project. We've "given" the neice, nephew, and baby sister ducks and bees.

I'm always a fan of food because you don't end up with more stuff.

[Zoe]

As for the magazine idea, I had the same one this year and I love it! As children my mother got my little sister and I subscriptions to Cricket and Ladybug Magazines.
http://www.cricketmag.com/home.asp
They were a opportunity for her to pass on her love of the written word to us! Every month we would sit together and read the wonderful stories. They have other cool magazines as well, like one called Cobblestone about American history and one called Ask that has more of a science focus. We will be getting that one for our lovely, inquisitive five-year-old neighbor who stops in everyday to see what he can get into. They are the only people I know who have magazines for babies!

Now onto the conscious gift giving topic. I appreciate all the wonderful links to fair trade gifts, I also feel strongly about supporting my local community of artisans. Where we live there are lots of opportunities for this and a really good place to start is the holiday crafts fair! Now when we are out and about in our town, we see the man who makes the local honey we use to help my boyfriend’s allergies, the woman who made the wonderful red and gold boiled wool booties my little nice wore last winter to keep her toes worm. This helps us to create and neroush our community, it helps children to feel the world around them is a safe and known place that it will produce the things they need to take care of them.

[charissa]

Second the idea of www.heifer.org ... some great gift ideas there, and costs from $10 up, so can be very affordable.

I also like to patronize our local craft markets and bazaars.

Our family (adults, at least) always have such a hard time buying for each other because we have all the stuff we need/want. Besides charity donations, I think services of some sort make a great gift -- housecleaning, yard work, babysitting -- you can do it yourself, or realistically if you have kids, use the money you would have spent on a gift and put it toward the cost.

[heather]

Jan, you are my hero! I am going to go look for Giving Tree toys at the Market next week...I'm a bit surprised I haven't run across it before. Thanks!

[julie]

Kids Discover magazine..... has a bunch of interesting topics that kids love (All about the eyes, pioneers, the moon, soccer, firefighters, bones fossil hunters, bridges, the sun....etc. etc.) and each issue is all about one topic, so it's pretty in depth with lots of interesting details. It's about a 4th grade reading level (ages 8-10-ish). I've enjoyed reading them as they come in. When I had them in my classroom the kids would snap them up - especially my reluctant boy readers.

[Henny Penny]

For my nieces I get a subscription to New Moon magazine.
My son was born in January, so for my immediate family we have calendars made with the best photograph from each month of the year. The calendars are really good quality and end up being less than $20 each.

[Susannah]

Magazines: Eating Well (Sue said it all), Brain, Child, Cook's illustrated, Natural Home.

I personally can't stand Real Simple because every article seems to be an advertisement to buy yet another doohickey which will supposedly help me simplify my life.

[Amy]

Would it be crass to say what I ask for? Several years ago I got sick of trying to come up with a list of things that I wanted (and as an only child, my mother insists on buying me gifts as well as my kids). So I had her get me a charm bracelet. Now for Christmas (or birthday, mother's day, etc) she--and/or my kids and husband--can pick out a charm for me that has meaning to them. I have "baby shoes" for each of my children with their initials and birth date engraved on the bottom; a flip-flop that my daughter picked out b/c she and I love to wear flip-flops,... you get the picture. I love getting the charms b/c the giver really sees meaning in the charm s/he chooses, and my kids love going through them and asking about them. It's almost like wearing my history on my wrist (okay, that might be a little cheezy... but I can totally see my grandkids asking about all the charms with the same enthusiasm my own kids do).

[Simone]

I just want to say how much I actually like Amy's gift idea with the charm bracelet! It's so personal, and can be extended by others at future date. Now cheezy at all!

[paola]

Hey Rosemary,

we're everywhere, eh?

[Cassie]

Growing up in Canada, we always had subscriptions to "Owl" magazine, and its baby sister mag "Chickadee":

http://www.owlkids.com/

and now they seem to have one for even younger kids called "Chirp". The suggested age ranges are 3-6 for Chirp, 6-9 for Chickadee, and 9-13 for Owl. Contents include puzzles, crafts, history, science projects, animals, jokes, and general weird and wonderful stuff that kids love. We used to give subscriptions for birthdays and Christmas to friends in the UK, and I know they were always a hit.

[Monica]

2nd all the charitable gifts in [recipient's] name-- my sis w/ three kids has dictated that Christmas needs to be less about gifts than family, etc. That being said...

When thinking about Christmas traditions, my own family's were fairly normal/tame-- nothing to write about, really.

However, I once worked with a girl from a large family (lots of sibs) who shared this wacky tradition that her dad invented:

Christmas morning, each kid (eight in her family) picks a small wrapped gift, not knowing what it is, doesn't matter who it's "for." Said gifts are then placed individually in plastic ziplock baggies --must be water-tight! And here's where it gets good-- Everyone to the bathroom! Fill the tub with enough water to float the baggies, Dad (or whomever you dictate as the Master of Ceremonies) stirs the tub full of gifts. One by one (youngest to oldest in friend's case) the kids would grab a gift out of the churning tub.

Now, here's where my memory gets a little fuzzy-- I can't recall if they unwrapped each gift before the next kid drew, or if they traded around afterwards to get the one they really wanted, etcetera. I figure if this kind of wackiness is your style, you can make up house rules-- I never would have come up with the bathtub thing on my own!

(And yes, the baggies and water can then be recycled for "better" use.) ;)

my $.02
Enjoy!

[Kristin]

At the World Wildlife Fund, you can adpot an animal. It comes with a certificate and a plush toy. You could pair it with tickets to your local zoo.
I am thinking about getting the bento box lunch pails for my nephew.

[Sky]

For the nephews and nieces, I buy advent candles instead of advent calenders, as they receive so many calendars (many with chocolates!). One of my sisters in law turns the advent candle into a 'safety with matches' lesson as well. The candle is lit every day at tea time and is very popular with all the children.

For magazine subscriptions, my husband loves The Economist and The New Scientist.

For alternative gifts, I go to http://www.oxfamirelandunwrapped.com/
where you can buy a selection of gifts (musical instruments/a goat/a toilet etc) for a family in Africa.

Another charity I contribute to is http://enfantsduningxia.uk.over-blog.com/ which supports the education of girls in China - here is a site with information about the inspirational book 'The Diary of Ma Yan' which started it all http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Diary_of_Ma_Yan

For my hard to buy for parents this year, I am getting entrance to 2 special exhibitions in London (the Terracotta Warriors and Tutankhamun), a hotel for 2 nights and a music concert. Museum passes have also gone down well in previous years.

Can't wait to read tomorrow's suggestions!

[pnuts mama]

we also love the idea of heifer international, we've talked about it for a few years now, and are trying to figure out how to get our pretty non-altruistic siblings to get on board between us. we need nothing (besides drywall!), especially from folks who just end up giving us candles or flashlights or crap. gift giving really is a gift- some people just know what to give, but so many of us are clueless and end up doing the last minute crap thing. bleh.

we do gifts for the kids, try as hard as we can to get them sustainable or consumable creative or educational things. we haven't jumped completely over to fair trade or locally produced (ha!) stuff yet for the kids. we also give things that the kids collect that they'll have forever and be able to pass along to their own kids- a few years ago my grandma started giving lionel trains (a big thing in my family) to my oldest nephew, and we love giving him things to add to his collection. so much better than some shitty video game. we also love giving art supplies, as we were both art majors many moons ago.

we do a thing in our church called a giving tree where the parish council collects wish lists from needy parish families and writes individual requests on ornaments- you take as many as you want to, each tag has info about the person- gender, size, age, etc. and buy the gift and attach the ornament to it unwrapped- another parish community event is one evening a group volunteers gather to wrap each gift. i have to tell you it is so friggin humbling to fulfill some of these requests- and it never fails to remind me just what the purpose of the holiday is to begin with.

regarding the santa thing. can you believe this has been on my mind since we discussed it last year? i've wondered if some of us are more comfortable with santa since we come from backgrounds of religious faiths that use a lot of imagery and symbolism- for example, i'm catholic, and we have a long and rich history of saints and symbolism and sacraments and recognizing that through action people bring God's word to the rest of the world- santa is just a great symbol of God's love in the world for us, when not linked with or tainted by consumeristic and materialistic motives. is this the time when i mention how i feel about how the secular world has hijacked a religious holiday to suit their purposes? hmm. perhaps not.
i have no problem with santa, as long as he is used as a messenger of God's will for all peoples- to bring them the gift of God's love. for our kids, this is done through one special gift, and what's in their stocking. for kids, this gives them in a real and tangible way to understand that lesson. in our home, we teach that santa is universal- he brings gifts to all children who believe in him regardless of socioeconomic status, race, etc- as well as without regard to behavior. in this way he truly reflects God's *unconditional* love for all peoples- he doesn't discriminate based on "naughty" and "nice" (or religious beliefs), just like God doesn't, either.

i imagine as our children get older, we'll explain that santa isn't a lie- that like most of the metaphors and stories we tell our children to explain the world to them, the idea of santa is real, and we are all santa in some way.

sorry this got so long, i've been working on it since yesterday!

[Wendy]

No time to read all the comments, so sorry if these are repeats. For magazines, I love The Sun--it's a literary magazine with short stories, essays, poetry and photos. But it's not highbrow, it's very accessible. I also like Bitch magazine, which takes some time and thought to get through. It feels like taking a graduate class in feminism. Really makes you think. I used to like Bust, but I think I've outgrown it. Good for the young, urban hipster(or wannabe).

[Charisse]

Geeky thing I just ran across--we have a couple of folks on our list who are very concerned about the environment and have been making big efforts to buy local, etc. Just ran across these cute little gift sets you can get from TerraPass--you buy verified carbon offsets and give the person a certificate & sticker. Only good if they're already in that mindset--otherwise it would seem too lecture-y--but I think it would be cool for eco nerds.