I was traveling on business last week for four days. While I was gone I saw the new XO laptop computer*, and wow is it cute! I love it. Didn't get to see it in action, but there's time for that.
When I got back, I was thrust headfirst into a frenzy of Halloween excitement from the boys. We had to put decorations up, and I spent a few hours making a purple monster costume for my younger son. Note to all potential monster mothers: The fur sheds. All over. Everything. And is impossible to vacuum up. You'll have to double-roll the hems, and zig-zag all the seams.
Also, I'm officially The Woman I Never Wanted To Be, because I bought Christmas wrapping paper on October 20. Yeesh.
So I'm ahead of myself on wrapping activities, but behind on posting here. I had a good one in my head for today, but purple fuzz won the battle. Better posts this week.
What's on your mind?
* If I told you where or how I saw it, that would give away what my job is.
My sympathies on the purple fuzz. I have some fuzzy fabric I've yet to make into something, and I'm hoping I won't have to. It sheds even just sitting there.
What's on my mind... would you insist on having your 10 year old shave if his mustache was starting to show? I think he's leaning toward the preference for shaving over having a more visible mustache - the fact that his sweat beads in his peach fuzz and his knucles are hairy is already attracting attention from his friends/peers. He'll be 10 in a couple of weeks, and there's now enough color in the fuzz that I can see it even when it hasn't caught the light. Light shadow still, but definite. I don't think he wants it to show, but I don't think he's interested in shaving much, either. Very sensitive skin... fingers crossed that it won't go faster than the current pace, which means maybe by late spring he'll need to do something about it.
thoughts, anyone?
Posted by: hedra | October 22, 2007 at 11:14 AM
don't know what your position is on this, but maybe do what the ladies do with unsightly facial hair.....bleach it. Sally Hanson makes a facial bleach that does a fairly good job......if you do it regularly. Works for peach fuzz but probably not so much thicker manly hair. My guess is he's still in the peachy stage, so it might work for a few more years.
Good luck. That's going to be rough for him.
Posted by: Julie | October 22, 2007 at 11:39 AM
I have no words of wisdom for hedra's predicament, as my son is not yet 1 and I will curl up into a little ball and die when he gets old enough to approach puberty and no longer want to sleep in our bed and roll his eyes at me.
But very much on my mind is my recent attempt to try to buy the Wonder Weeks for a friend of a new baby....WTF! That book is impossible to find for any reasonable price at all now! I got my copy from Amazon about 6 months ago and it was all of $14 bucks. Now, you can only find it on rare book listings or ebay for over a hundred (100) dollars. What the hell happened?
I have a sneaking suspicion that the Moxie's review and recommendation of this tome pushed its out-of-print-badass-self into a new spotlight. Which is great and all, since I have a copy that I can sell and we can now buy that new house we've been eyeing.
Posted by: Lisa | October 22, 2007 at 11:44 AM
Hedra, I was going to ask something about puberty in boys the other day... I noticed my 7 y.o. boy had sweaty pits the other day (after sitting in an air-conditioned car). I didn't have brothers, and, of course, his dad can't recall when all this started to happen. So, I'm at a loss for when this is supposed to kick in. Anyone have some good resources?
As for the other MAJOR thing on my mind... as a WOHM to three kids (one of whom is only 5 months) I feel like I don't give 100% to anything in my life. It's wearing me down. In theory, I take great pleasure in my marriage, my children, and my job... but in practice, it all feels like "work" right now. The baby cries a lot which means the big kids get told to "wait a second" all day long. The baby sleeps between us, so my husband and I can't get back into the swing of things (if you get my drift), and I've bitten off more than I can chew at work so I feel like I'm a terrible professor who isn't being an effective teacher. I don't feel depressed as much as overwhelmed by it all... if I could just stop the world for a week to get caught up, get the baby to sleep someplace other than my arms, and have the patience to give the big kids what they need, I'd be a lot happier.
Posted by: Amy | October 22, 2007 at 11:46 AM
Hedra, that just seems so early. Is your pediatrician aware of his early puberty?
I wouldn't have thought of it, but the bleaching seems like a good idea. Shaving will make it more noticeable I think.
What's on my mind? I have a new (old) sewing machine that I can't figure out how to thread. I finally located a manual, but I don't think it'll be here in time for the Halloween costume need on Friday night. I'm hoping hot glue will work and then I'll get the sewing machine going in time for kid 2 at Halloween proper. Also on my mind is, thank the gods for consignment shops for children's clothes. It finally got cool here in Atlanta and I found that kid 1 had no pants that fit (I'd gotten him size 7s thinking that was right, but actually we needed 6s) Five pairs for $32 this morning.
Posted by: Jill | October 22, 2007 at 11:47 AM
Question about the new laptop: Is it really just geared for kids/educational purposes, or is it suitable for adults as well? I am putting a laptop on my Christmas list, and would love it if I could get one AND support a good cause. (And THAT is as close to Christmas shopping as I can get right now, because otherwise I will start to hyperventilate about how much I have to do and how little time. XMAS is a 4-letter-word to me!)
Posted by: Jo Ann | October 22, 2007 at 11:51 AM
Hang in there, Moxie!
On my mind this week/month/fiscal quarter:
1. What is up with the "I can't!" business? My daughter is 3 and will not stop whining "I can't" even in the midst of doing the thing she claims she can't do. Deargod, I'm losing my mind with it. Do I ignore it when she says it or do I respond (with something like a pleasant "Yes, you can")? Right now, it's a blend, depending on my patience level.
2. She also Will. Not. Potty. Train. I suspect it's a combination of her mild gross motor delay (diagnosed) and a case of stubbornness. The crappy part is that it's becoming an issue between me and my husband, who is pushing her too hard, I feel. At what point is fighting with my spouse over potty training a signal that we've lost our minds?
Posted by: amy | October 22, 2007 at 11:56 AM
What's on my mind? Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel in Fundraising Land at M's school, just in time to get submerged in holidays and birthdays (C turns 2 next week, M turns 5 next month). Trying to figure out how I'm going to get all the things done I have to accomplish this week. And with the cold front that came thru this morning, all I want to do is stay home and just breathe, but it's not going to happen.
And I totally sympathize with the PP who is feeling overwhelmed as WOHM. I taught with only one child, and I remember how crazy that was. I can only imagine how insane it must feel with 3.
Posted by: Jean | October 22, 2007 at 11:59 AM
On my mind? Same thing as every day at this time (just after daycare-drop-off) -- separation anxiety.
Not mine, my Munchkin's (3 1/2 yo girl). I'm at my wit's end. We have tried everything we can think of and she still cries at drop-off AND is fragile all day (according to her FABULOUS teacher).
I'm not just talking about run-of-the-mill, "it'll pass" separation-intense phases (I have a 22 month old and he does that; I know what that looks like). How does everybody else handle really severe separation junk?
Posted by: Jan | October 22, 2007 at 12:16 PM
Um, also: are we ever going to get to know the 'hobby'? I may never sleep again!
Posted by: Jan | October 22, 2007 at 12:17 PM
Amy, I hear you. If I could only catch my breath.
And what else is up? DH and I have drifted so far apart, I don't even know if therapy would help. You know that Joni Mitchell song, Case of You, with the line: "love is touching souls"? Our souls our on separate trains, heading in opposite directions. We have a 4 year old and an 18 month old. I'm so sad today. Will we get back together, soul-wise?
Posted by: anonforthis | October 22, 2007 at 12:23 PM
What's on my mind? What's on my mind?! What is that HOBBY?!! ;-)
Posted by: Kate | October 22, 2007 at 12:47 PM
On my mind? Why is it pouring down rain with gale force winds my entire three day weekend but calm and beautifully sunny now that I am back to work?
As to wrapping paper - make your own! A fantastic rainy day project for the whole family. My mom started doing this with us (me and my sister) when we were tiny and now I do it with my family a couple of times a year. It's messy, but fun with beautiful results. You'll need:
- tissue wrapping paper (the only time in my life I ever go into the Dollar Store; I think you can also get it at Costco for cheap)
- food coloring (get the big bottles for cheap from a restaurant supply store - many are open to the public)
- lots of newspaper (did I mention it's a messy project?)
- an iron
1) Fold tissue paper in a repeating pattern (squares, triangles, get creative!)
2) cover table in newspaper and put food coloring in plastic containers. Put water in another container
3) dip folded tissue complete in water, then dip in food coloring - get creative with colors and patterns!
4) allow to dry (may take a day or two) but begin to unfold as it dries. Be careful not to tear it.
5) iron out wrinkles on low heat with no water
Pictures available on request (we did some this past weekend and will do another batch next weekend). Questions / comments welcome too. katzmoye "at" gmail "dot" com
Posted by: Melissa | October 22, 2007 at 12:47 PM
What's on my mind? Finishing that dang raven costume for one thing. Getting there on that.
I just got to work, so the getting the 3 1/2 year old out the door is fresh. When, exactly, does the dawdling stop?
And yeah, Amy (big A), I'm a WOHM too and I totally hear you. And amy (little a) the "I can't" stuff does seem to have abated at 3 1/2--it was really thick around my house a few months ago. Bet she won't let you help either? For Mouse, I thought it had a lot to do with sort of a second-order recognition of the implications of not being able to do something, and a consistent set of expectations for her own capabilities. If it was something she thought she could do and it was a little tough this time, she'd just come unglued.
Posted by: Charisse | October 22, 2007 at 12:56 PM
On my mind? My 14 month old's latest hobby is getting her favorite stuffed bear, placing it under her high chair, and then running into the room shrieking "BEAR! BEAR!" while pointing wildly. She doesn't calm down until we retrieve the bear, but of course she turns around and puts it back as soon as we leave. This started a couple of weeks ago, and it has expanded to picking up as many toys as she can carry ("Baby! Bear! Baby! Ducky! Kitty! Bear!") and hauling them to the high chair, setting them up just so, and doing the shrieking/pointing bit until I retrieve them.
I bring this up not out of concern, but because I find it hilarious, and would love to hear if anyone else with a 14 month old is experiencing similar things!
(Oh, and HOBBYHOBBYHOBBYHOBBY)
Posted by: Diane | October 22, 2007 at 01:02 PM
Moxie: Sorry about the non-vacuumable (I just made that word up!) purple fuzz! Still wondering about the "hobby"!!! I'm glad to see I'm not alone!
Lisa: You were able to get Wonder Weeks only 6 months ago??? I've been trying to buy it for months, with no luck if I don't want to spend a fortune. I did check it out from the library, but I can't keep it. :(
Shandra: I've been wondering how the daycare situation is going. Want to give us an update?
anonforthis: I'm sorry to hear about your marital issues! GL!!
Diane: Cute story!
On my mind: I'm researching vaccines. The Pumpkin is 7 months old, and I've been looking into them since right before her 6-month appointment. We had been giving her all her vaccines until that appointment, where we got only half of them. We plan to continue vaxing (at least most of them), but on a delayed schedule (I think).
I started looking into it because I couldn't understand why in the world people wouldn't vax their kids, and I wanted to understand and not just roll my eyes. Now, I just can't get over how much we weren't told about vaxes and how early and how many shots are given. And the aluminum and formaldyhyde (sp?) and other crap in the shots, and how many adverse reactions are not reported by doctors, and how short term and limited the studies are on them. I could go on and on, but I will spare you all. If you are curious, I suggest you research as well.
Posted by: caramama | October 22, 2007 at 01:31 PM
I'm a WOHM and dang, there just ain't enough of me to go around.
HOBBY Hobby hobby.
We have "I can't"-itis at almost 2.5 yrs. We also have a case of the whys.
Hobby...?
If the peach fuzz boy also has sensitive skin, I doubt bleaching is a good idea. For my sensitive skin eyebrows, I wax and use a calming lotion before and after, BUT I still cannot go anywhere that whole day. Redness is gone by morning though. This last time, the lady used Bioelements Stress Solution on my eyebrows and it worked ok. Sometimes they use peppermint something.
What could the controversial hobby be????
About sweaty underarms. I remember clearly that I (admittedly, a girl) started wearing deodorant at age 9, and I think I shaved my underarms at 10. I had a normal onset of menses/puberty at 12 or 13 (normal, for my generation).
Hobby. HOBBY. HoBbY?
Try Goodwill for used books. I got a ton of classic kids' books there, and they are all priced the same whether they are a rare treasure or an old Happy Meal prize.
Hobby hobby hobbyhobbybhobbyhobby.
When my son goes on the potty, he now tells himself "Good Job". I think he thinks that's just what you say when you're done. I guess I shoule mix it up a little.
eighch oh bee bea why!?!?!?!
On drifting far apart...does he know you've drifted too? I knew, but my husband didn't realize until I started bringing books home from teh library to read myself. That hint helped him make more of an effort.
((hobby))
On separation anxiety, I got nothing, but I recently discovered that hurrying him in the morning makes drop off sixteen trillion times worse, so now we read books on the couch for 15 minutes before we get shoes on (and that 15 mintues seems like forever when you know the myriad things about to come at you).
Posted by: SarcastiCarrie | October 22, 2007 at 01:36 PM
anonforthis: We are in the same boat. In addition to the usual separation that parenthood usually causes....my husband is a realtor who works 24/7 because we can't make our house payments (and often come close to not making them) without that schedule. So we parent in shifts, which makes it very very lonely. I feel for you, and therapy always helps....even when it might not help the marriage, it might help YOU. And helping you will in turn help the marriage.
On my mind: Is my 2 y/o son ready to potty train? Please help me to know.....we let him "free-ball" it all the time around the house (once he pooped while out to lunch with grandma and she let him freeball it for the rest of lunch inside his pants - no diaper...no accidents), he has NO accidents around the house, when I ask him if he wants to sit on the potty, the answer is "NO", when I tell him it's time to sit on the potty, his answer is "NO".....the times when he does sit on the potty, nothing comes out, we just sit there and read until he gets bored. The minute I put a diaper on him, he pees and then demands another one. For those of you out there, please tell me.....is this a "precursor" to potty training? Apparently he has great bladder control. Not interested in the big boy pull ups. Wants his old diapers.
Thoughts? Ideas? Should we wait? Or forge ahead? Is this a window of opportunity we don't want to let pass or do we want to let him get a little bit older first? I don't care either way, just don't want to miss a "window" if there is one that will be closing soon.
Posted by: Julie | October 22, 2007 at 01:45 PM
I agree with SarcastiCarrie (love the name!) about the rushing = worse sep. anxiety. If you can get there even 5 or 10 minutes early, it might make a diff.
I have to switch my son's preschool in 3 weeks, and I'm all freaked out. It's *wonderful* where he is now - a 3 kids to 1 teacher ratio, there is a big huge 2 way mirror (think Law & Order!) and parent room so you can watch your child(ren) and not be seen, the teachers are SO wonderful and experienced and have been there forever. But he's turning 3, and they bounce you at 3.
The only place I can afford near my house has a 9 to 1 ratio. No secret spy window. His teachers look like they are 12. (Not that I have anything against young professionals, but there was something nice about how seasoned his soon-to-be former teachers are.)
Posted by: Lemon | October 22, 2007 at 01:47 PM
How would you guys suggest handling daylight savings time for a 22 & 35 month old? I'm afraid it might kill me. I'm pregnant, sleep deprived, and the thought of their waking time suddenly changing from 7am to 6am is enough to drive me mad. Mad. MAD!!!
Posted by: Lemon | October 22, 2007 at 01:49 PM
Julie - ABout the potty learning. You are well on your way. I guess there is a window and he is displaying some of the readiness signs, so go with it low-key.
Keep doing what you are doing. Diapers/pants off at home, sit on the potty every hour (you do it too...no privacy at all). Talk about how much fun you have when you get to flush your pee.
We never did pull ups because kid liked his diaper. So, we started a sticker chart for going on the potty (right around 2) and a second chart for keeping his pants/diaper dry around 2 years 2 months (after discovering the part about the second the diaper goes on the pee comes out). And by chart, I mean a sticker went on the paper and another one went on his hand, forehead, shirt, me, etc.
And underpants are evil and made of lava, so it was all commando until last week (2 years 5 months) when all of a sudden, underpants were OK (but backwards because the train or car or whatever is on the butt of boy underpants and it needs to be in front where we can see it).
I never pushed it, but I encouraged and was proud and gushed at how great the "big pee in the potty" was. And we use a small potty, we use a big toilet, we pee on trees outside, we keep it fun and exciting and where/how can we pee this time?
Posted by: SarcastiCarrie | October 22, 2007 at 02:06 PM
DST: My instinct says that you move the bedtime up by 8 minutes every night the week before. But in reality, we usually just wing it and it takes 3 days to get back on schedule. Change meal times and bath times and nap times and everything to the new time and they get it pretty quickly.
Posted by: SarcastiCarrie | October 22, 2007 at 02:09 PM
Julie - try the timer. "When the timer dings, it's time for potty." Then set it for whatever you think is reasonable (and safe) 1 min, 5min, 30min, 45. Somehow the timer is the arbitrator of the pre-school set.
On my mind? My husband emailed me this morning to let me know there are 61 days until my due date. Ack! (Turns out he's doing a better job keeping track of it than me. My feeling has been that it's a nearly meaningless statistic - the baby will be ready when the baby is ready. She's the number 2 kid.) I bought a carseat this weekend and he plugged it in yesterday. I'm still getting used to see the carseat bulkhead in my peripheral vision when I drive (it's in the middle back seat).
Posted by: Cathy | October 22, 2007 at 02:10 PM
Moxie --
You were being ironic when you asked what's on our minds, right? Um, I don't know about the other readers, but I feel like my entire life is on hold.
What is the hobby?????
Posted by: Helen | October 22, 2007 at 02:15 PM
Julie, bleach is a good idea, though I'm nervous about the sensitivity angle - he can't tolerate most soaps on his face without a painful rash. Shaving would likely be worse, though. Worth a try, if it comes to that.
Lisa, I suggested the Wonder Weeks to a friend, and she emailed me back saying "HOLY COW, $200 for a BOOK?" - but she kept looking, and found a copy at Half.com for $9 - so don't lose hope. (Try canadian sellers, too.)
Amy, 7 was around when G started needing deodorant, but it wasn't daily. It came in surges, with long gaps of no odor. I highly recommend the book 'What's going on down there?' for the guy/puberty thing. Informative, reassuring, and engaging (I learned a lot, LOL!). Plus, they know their audience. The beginning of the chapter on sex says 'for those of you who started the book on this chapter, you'll want to go back and read chapters X, Y, and Z' LOL! As for the scrambling to keep up with life thing, I find that whenever I'm in that place (often enough!), it's just a sign that my life is growing, and I'll soon enough grow skills to keep up. It is just a transition, and just like transition in labor, it fills me with doubt, overwhelms me, and I feel not up to the task. And then I make it through that knothole, and feel a lot better for a while (until the next transition). Hang in there.
Jill, yeah, the pedi knows about the early puberty. Has known for the two years that we've been seeing signs of slow progress. My dad was 6' and shaving at 12 years old, poor guy. Genes plus a childhood feeding disorder (low protien intake in the first few years followed by increased protien) = early and prolonged puberty pattern. He'll make up some growth out of it, but it might not be fun, socially. ... And I hate threading sewing machines - my new machine (a few yrs old) has arrows and numbers so I don't forget. Phew!
amy, we did the blend approach (Ignore/reassure) - three of the kids that worked, one was more perfectionist-prone and needed a more targetted education about how learning works (practice, getting better, etc.), and reminders that he'd already succeeded at other things. But it IS the age, and for most it has just eased up on its own. Good luck on the potty training. I just give up in advance, it saves me the angst. ;)
Jan, if the anxiety seems excessive, and perhaps a whiff more Anxiety than anxiety, check out the book 'helping your anxious child'. That's the one that was recommended for Mei's anxiety (clinical level). I actually have two - that and 'your anxious child' (the combo I found quite useful). We didn't even go nuts on the recommendations even with the clinical level issue, so you can probably just get the books from the library. But 3 1/2 is also disequilibrium, like a fussy stage. So it is probably normal - but the methods may still help.
anonforthis, that's so hard. Therapy definitely useful, and so is just making sure they know how you feel. Sometimes they just don't get it unless you make it clear. We've had to build temporary bridges to a time when we can really reconnect, over and over. Just knowing we're doing it together, both scrambling too much to connect well but aware that we're doing so and that there will be an end point, that helps. Not always enough, but some.
Charisse, I want to see the raven costume! B is a huge raven (the bird) fan. Collects them in all forms.
Dianne, that was M! Dropping her baby doll over the side of her chair, or placing it in dire peril somehow, and crying 'My BABY! my BABY!' until it was rescued, repeat repeat repeat. Wait, R, too. Only she tended to be more subtle about it - more 'oops, I dropped the baby!' and rescuing it herself. Too funny. And adorable. I think they did it later than that, though. :)
Caramama, I hear you on the vaccines. I used to work in the pharma industry, and the people I knew were VERY pro-vaccine. But many of them were not super pro-SCHEDULE, as set. Schedule is set up to capture the people who would fall through the cracks, not for optimal response. But given the schedules, they now don't even test for optimal overall, only optimal within the existing schedule! ARGH! We adjusted the schedule for three of four kids. Not a lot, but enough for my comfort.
Posted by: hedra | October 22, 2007 at 02:17 PM
Oh, and I'd forgotten about the hobby question until I came back online. Now I'm curious again!
Posted by: hedra | October 22, 2007 at 02:23 PM
If any of you have Canadian friends/relatives, you might ask them to look for the WonderWeeks at their local Chapters or Indigo store. I found a copy there a few months ago for under $20.00.
Anonforthis re marriage: My husband and I recently got away alone together for three nights, three days, for the first time since the baby was born. We actually laughed, had fun, I remembered why we got married in the first place! I thought the baby was killing our love, our connection, our friendship, our respect for each other... but it's still there apparently. Any chance of a vacation / weekend get-away for you and your DH sans children?
Posted by: ST | October 22, 2007 at 02:36 PM
thank god i'm not the only one who thought: "um, hobby?"
i love these days of open readers calls.
jill- what brand is the sewing machine? i'll bet someone here has one and could scan you in the page on threading and email it to you. if it's a singer let me know, also, you can google the exact model and the words "threading diagram" and see what pops up. good luck! i always forget how to thread my little baby singer.
hedra- the shaving is a tough one, i'd probably let him shave, but mostly b/c i work with puberty-immersed boys that are obsessed with their fuzzy upper lips. sigh, so connected to coming-of-age! like, "guess where else it's growing!" to me, it just looks sad in a sweet way, you know?
i've been recommending the wonder weeks to everyone i know not knowing it was out of print! agh!
moxie- we are in the midst of figuring out a lisa simpson costume with yellow fleece and red felt. pray for me.
anonforthis- i think most relationships, marriages especially, go through a normal cycle of ups and downs, and one of things i remember most from my marriage prep class is the idea when you are in a "down", you have to make the decision to love each other again. like, make a concerted effort to find some of the things that made you fall in love w/ him all those years ago, and love him for them again. barring any really serious marital issues (abuse, neglect, disrespect, etc), this can help you get out of the rut and back going in the same path together again. good luck to you- marriage is such hard work sometimes.
big A amy- yes, yes! sometimes i think of myself as one of those acrobats who are spinning plates on a stick, trying to keep them up and not falling and smashing! when you are spinning so many, you can hardly do more than barely pay attention to one for a few seconds. everything feels half-assed.
so here is my question for you all with more than one child- how soon did you know you had conceived? did anyone have symptoms like, right away? like, too early to test right away? just wondering.
Posted by: pnuts mama | October 22, 2007 at 02:39 PM
I didn't have any symptoms, but I didn't have any symptoms with M. But everything else seemed to happen faster--popping out, feeling movement, etc.
Posted by: Jean | October 22, 2007 at 02:49 PM
Thanks, all, for the encouragement.
And I was so awash in self-indulgent depression that I forgot for a moment what I've been obsessing over: Hobby!
C'mon, Moxie, we're dying here!
Posted by: anonforthis | October 22, 2007 at 03:01 PM
duh- i meant, conceived the second(third) time around...as in, you recognized the second time b/c of what had happened the first time? does this make any sense?
i should just pee on the stick already and stop being such a chicken.
Posted by: pnuts mama | October 22, 2007 at 03:13 PM
pnut's mama, after the first time, I had symptoms before I could test EVERY time. However, I also started getting nausea symptoms just from the progesterone surge post-ovulation, and still do. Like I was keyed in to nausea in reaction to progesterone for life. Ugh. So I don't trust the nausea thing, but perhaps other symptoms.
My early symptoms that were accurate included swollen bbs, dizzy spells, cramping that didn't feel typical, sense of weight in the midsection, euphoria (totally blissed out in love with the world), and my DH having blood sugar crashes (he'd get couvade symptoms before I could test - super-reliable, too).
Posted by: hedra | October 22, 2007 at 03:20 PM
Simulpost!
My symptoms weren't always the same, if that's what you're getting at. And I didn't always 'just know', and instead tormented myself with maybe-yes/maybe-no. Another of those 'reading goat entrails' kinds of things - you know in retrospect what the signs meant, but at the time it is kind of hard to be sure!
Test! Good luck!
Posted by: hedra | October 22, 2007 at 03:25 PM
Oh, and Moxie, one little thing on my mind that I never remember to say. R keeps insisting that I buy glasses JUST like yours in the header image. She loves them, and gets mad if I scroll down when she's 'helping' me at the computer. Buy some, mommy!
Posted by: hedra | October 22, 2007 at 03:27 PM
pnuts mama: Pee on the stick! And let us know!! ;-)
hedra: "euphoria (totally blissed out in love with the world)" I'm gonna want that symptom! How can I get it???
Posted by: caramama | October 22, 2007 at 03:43 PM
hedra- i still need to wait a few days, since my cycles are irregular and i'm not near my period yet. i'm pretty sure, though, and am getting used to the idea. i had an enlarged node in my thyroid from the hcg levels last time, and it's totally doing it again. i googled the hell out of it, b/c my thyroid levels were normal last time, and no endo wanted to biopsy a pg woman w/ normal levels. *however*, i just found out that thyroid irregularity is very much connected with pre-eclapmsia and pre-term labor (like pnut) so this would make me approach this much differently this time around, easy delivery with a 5#'r or not. either way, if it happened, it was a wee bit faster than expected.
also, moxie, we only use wrapping paper for kids gifts now. we gift bag everything else, and recycle them for years! like, it's a joke that we ask the receiver if they'd like to keep their bag. very rarely do we gift wrap for anyone else. and last year we found paper that we love and bought tons of it to use as "santa's paper". in our home, stockings are filled by the big guy, as well as one special toy/gift, which will always be in said paper. cause we're kinda kooky like that.
Posted by: pnuts mama | October 22, 2007 at 03:45 PM
Thanks for the potty tips......I've been dreading this leap. I just........ugh. Don't want to do it.
Hedra, the sensitive skin issue might rule out the bleach. I have to say it stings a bit....and I don't have sensitive skin. Maybe you could try not doing a very large amount of the activator (it's an activator bleach and then the bleach cream)......but I don't know. YOu might not want to go there. But I think shaving might be as bad. Nair is definitely out. Big sigh for you both. Hard for him, and also hard for you to watch it be hard for him.
Please Moxie, I'm spending way too much time checking in to see if you've posted the hobby. Please please tell us......
Posted by: Julie | October 22, 2007 at 03:49 PM
pnuts mama--gasp!--how could I space that you were asking the question in the first place because *you might be pregnant*. Oh, it's just a rollercoaster ride over here at Ask Moxie. I now officially want to know the results even more than I want to know The Hobby.
Posted by: rudyinparis | October 22, 2007 at 03:51 PM
While we are all chatting with each other (and anxiously awaiting Moxie's decision on whether or not to tell us)...
rudyinparis: I also thought you were in paris! But I caught the time you post rudyinminnesota, and I thought that was hysterical!
Posted by: caramama | October 22, 2007 at 03:58 PM
pnuts mama, I thought I was preg with #3, convinced, but then I wasn't and I was surprised at my level of disappointment. But now I am! :-) And the symptoms I have had are completely different than what I went through with #1 & #2. Totally, like I'm a different person. I think it's entirely possible that your body could "remember" what it's supposed to do and this could manifest itself in a variety of symptoms. I hope you're happy with whatever the results are! (Some test kits allow you to test much earlier than others. Buy the kind with more than one test and just see, and if necessary, wait a few more days and test again! And then tell us, while Moxie is telling us the habit!)
Posted by: Lemon | October 22, 2007 at 04:23 PM
caramama: I, too, am thinking about vaccines... actually waiting with bated breath for Dr. Sears' new book to arrive from Amazon, since we'll soon be broaching the issue with our ped.
what I'm thinking about: our brand new baby girl! The Pumpkin is just a week and a few days old; and even though I already was in love with this site, its creator, and all the readers during my pregnancy, never until this past weekend when I was madly reading up on all baby/newborn posts did I truly appreciate what's going on here. THANK YOU ALL. From the bottom of my heart. I've been feeling so overwhelmed and wondering if/how I will ever get a grip on this parenthood thing, and the very existence of this little community has been a great comfort to me during some particularly tough moments. Lil' pumpkin's sleeping right now -- the only reason I'm able to take the time to sit and write this out. But how long am I supposed to be letting her sleep vs. trying to keep her awake? And what do I DO with her? I don't know how to play with a newborn!
A question for those who have been there: how long after baby arrives before you start to feel like you have a handle on your life? If she was my only concern, I would be set: I could sit and look at her all day! But then there's *everything else*... which I just can't deal with. I'm sure this is normal -- but I just don't like the feeling of helplessness in the face of what used to be normal and am interested to know when it might be reasonable to anticipate getting a grip.
Sorry to ramble on -- there's just so much going on inside my head! Can't edit it all down. Especially when I'm worrying about whether I should wake Pumpkin up and feed her. Oy.
Thanks for reading and humoring me, if you've even made it this far. :-)
Posted by: Suzie Q | October 22, 2007 at 04:24 PM
First time poster, a little intimidated. I first want to say thanks to all of you; you keep me sane. I look forward to checking in during Marshmallow's naps.
I've got anonfornow's post on my mind. I have a marriage on life support and think constantly about pulling the plug, but I am TERRIFIED of being a single mom to my 15 month old. Any posters out there who can reassure me that life can be OK for me and Marshmallow if it happens? I carry lots of heavy baggage from my parents' divorce, and don't ever want my daughter to feel that kind of weight.
Posted by: melt | October 22, 2007 at 04:35 PM
Wonder Weeks is out of print, according to my local bookseller. Obviously there's a big demand for the used ones, to have the price so high! Should we write letters to the publisher asking for a reprint? Would that even help?
I too would like to get my hands on this book. Frustrating.
Posted by: kelly | October 22, 2007 at 04:37 PM
@Suzie Q: 8-9 months before I was back to competence/confidence.
Posted by: shirky | October 22, 2007 at 04:48 PM
@kelly
once a book goes OOP, the book rights often return to the author. So lean on the author, not the publisher, which might not be the rightsholder.
Posted by: shirky | October 22, 2007 at 04:53 PM
I love that -- "when it might be reasonable to anticipate getting a grip." It took me 3 1/2 months before I thought I could cope with anything ... anything at all. Now, little girl is 5 1/2 months, and I'm doing all right, most of the time.
Things on my mind:
Milk -- I never seem to have enough. At about 4 months, the amount I was able to pump at work dwindled to 4 oz max at a time. I don't have time to pump more than twice. I don't have quite enough for her at night either. I'm bummed about it.
Marriage -- it's tough -- trying to be as patient and loving and interesting as you were before baby. Some days are good, some are bad. I know we're going to make it, though. I attribute that mostly to a good amount of sex, even when I don't particularly feel up to it!
Posted by: Sherry | October 22, 2007 at 05:09 PM
SuzieQ - my competence/confidence goes up and down on a daily or weekly basis. I remember feeling awesome around 8 weeks, but then pretty horrible from 4-6 months :)) Now we're at 9 months and I feel better than ever before, but still have days when I feel totally unqualified for motherhood!!! I do also miss those early days (the first two weeks before my boy *woke up to the world* and screamed for hours a day from age 3-6 weeks old!!!). Let your babe sleep, and enjoy!
Posted by: Sarah | October 22, 2007 at 05:12 PM
Melt: I read a book that said that if you ask people how their marriages are and then ask them 5 years later, the results are strikingly different. The people who were miserable and contemplating divorce often had just fine marriages after five years (I have no idea if they did counseling in the interim or what). So, I guess what I am saying is, wait. Don't do anything about abandoning your marriage yet (barring abuse, neglect, cheating, etc). You've only been parents for 15 months and it can take years to get back into a marriage groove after that kind of upheaval. Five years seems like a long time to wait, but in a way, think back at how quickly the last two years have gone.
My parents are also divorced, so I caution to take it slowly. Do counseling. Stay in the same house but get different bedrooms, if you must. Try a weekend away. If you can stand it, just wait it out and wade through it. If you must do divorce, do the mediated kind where you all look at everything through the children's point of view.
My marriage isn't perfect, but I've waited and waded through some truly awful times already (as most new parents have), and we're better for it.
But, yes, I can reassure that marshmallow would get over it eventually. I am a mostly functional member of society, but I had a very close relationship with my non-custodial parent all those years. I always knew who was on my team. It takes just as much work to parent a child together when you are apart as it does when you are together.
Posted by: SarcastiCarrie | October 22, 2007 at 05:19 PM
@hedra: if you go the shaving route, my husband would highly recommend a nice electric rather than a razor razor. It was much easier for him to deal with as a teenager, it doesn't irritate the skin, and although it won't be as close of a shave, if the facial hair is light/sparse enough that this is even a debate, that shouldn't matter.
@pnut's mama: I'm officially more interested in you peeing on a stick and telling us all about it than I am in Moxie finally spilling the beans about the hobby. I also didn't realize that you had preeclampsia -- me too! (I say this as though it were like finding out we went to the same high school. That's weird, right?)
@Suzie Q: I'm sitting on my deck right now with The Bear in a bouncy chair, hiding from the nice ladies who are cleaning my house. Why? Because I can't handle my life enough to keep the house clean (8 1/2 months postpartum) but I also have too many class issues to deal with the fact that I've hired people to clean my house when I'm a SAHM. So I'm out here, pretending that I'm doing something productive. But don't go by me, I've got some PTSD/PPMD issues, so maybe if I'd had a "good birth" and a healthy baby, I'd have a handle on life by now.
Posted by: Kathy | October 22, 2007 at 05:27 PM
i'll pee on the stick! probably tomorrow will seriously be the earliest i could wing it in the cycle. how strange to have a group who knows this is in the deepest recesses of my brain in terms of possibility- we didn't "announce" the pnut until well after 1st tri...just weird i guess. thanks for all of your interest, it's awesome!
i have a feeling moxie may never tell us what the hobby is. i wish it were furries, but i'm betting it's swinging.
@sherry- 4 months is about the time i started taking fenugreek, i think, lots of it, til you walk into a room and someone asks "did you just eat pancakes?" i think there is something about some mom/baby combos that your milk actually becomes more specific/concentrated as the baby grows- meaning you actually can produce less but it's still enough. that doesn't help you w/ pumping, i know.
@ newborn mommies- let the baby sleep! i assure you the baby will wake up when they are hungry and eat. now, go take a nap. (you laugh, but i'm serious). oh, and the rest of your life is like lowest priority right now, so don't even worry about it (it's hard, cause like, two weeks ago you were in that life)- just feed yourself and your baby and sleep, general hygiene, etc. the rest you can get to eventually.
for melt, etc.- i've honestly not yet met a mom who hasn't seriously considered divorce after the birth of their first child at some point (usually in the 1st 12 months, but could be after). adding a whole new person to the dynamic of your marriage is as stressful as losing a job or a loved one. be as easy on each other as you can, as supportive of each other as you would your best friend (your spouse used to be your best friend, right?) and try to talk about what's bothering you in a way that doesn't attack or use the words "you"- address behaviors, not the person's characteristics. i love the idea of getting away (even for just an overnight) with your partner, away from the kid/s, and re-connecting. it sounds so cliche, but sometimes you need to work on the reason why you wanted to have a baby with him in the first place. again, i say this for normal marriage frustrations, not the big stuff like abuse/disrespect/adultery/etc. that stuff usually needs professional counseling. hang in there!
Posted by: pnuts mama | October 22, 2007 at 05:47 PM