4 month olds

I'm really, really behind in my life today. And I've been getting a ton of questions lately from people with 4-month-olds. And there's just so much going on at that age that makes it a tough, tough time--they don't really nap yet, their nighttime sleep is falling apart (thank you 4-month sleep regression), you may be back at work or seriously wondering what made you decide not to go back to work and either way it screws with your head, you probably haven't lost the baby weight yet and don't feel sexy but then there's Scary Spice doing the cha-cha looking like a brick house, and your baby is probably not as fat as your doctor wants him or her to be, and it all just sucks.

A very helpful nursing-related post about breastfeeding at 4 months from CJ:

Things to consider if your four-month-old baby coasts down the growth charts

So I'm going to just open up the comments, and those of you who remember your 4-month troubles, (or are in the middle of them) post them, and we'll all commiserate. I don't think there's much of a cure for most of this stuff except for time and being gentle with yourself, and realizing that you do what works at the time and then when it stops working you do something else. Think about getting sleep today, not what might happen a year from now.

Comments

[Lisa]

a telling anecdote:

When T. was 4.5 months, I brought him to a friend's house for the day; her husband was out with their two-year-old. When he needed a nap, but wouldn't nurse/rock/sing/etc. down, I requested the blowdryer. She looked at me like I was nuts, but brought it. 10 minutes on high, next to us as we nursed, and he was out.

Her husband and kid come back. He says, "What's with the blowdryer?" Her: "Oh, it's their carseat." (Their kid slept ONLY in the carseat for 6 or 7 months.) Him: "Oh."

We do what we must.

[hedra]

Amie, did you actually buy the new Ferber book, or did your doc just tell you how to do it? Because Dr. Ferber specifically says that his CIO method is not to be used before 6 months old, IIRC. He also specifies exactly the sleep issue that CIO is to be used for (generally for kids who seek their 'going down' environment to be identical to their waking environment - so if they fall asleep on you, they expect to wake on you, and freak if they're not, hence requiring them to fall asleep 'without you there' if you want them to put themselves back to sleep 'without you there'.). He has other ideas and information for other problems, but from the interviews I've seen/read with him, he doesn't think there are very many real 'sleep problems' before 6 months - just normal babies, who come in a variety of types.

So my advice would be to a) get the book, seriously get the book. And make sure it is the new version, as it has been updated significantly with recent research (including not freaking out over cosleeping), and b) wait a few months, since the only people who seem to recommend sleep training before 6 months are people without degrees in child development and/or without sleep expertise (not researchers, not affiliated with sleep clinics, etc.). The rest tend to lean toward sleep training after 6 months. and c) read as many of Moxie's sleep topics as you can - it sounds like you have an 'increase tension' kid... worth knowing if you do. The Ferber book may actually help with some of the identification of the falling-asleep process, though. Just knowing that there were kids who would 'check' to make sure the sleep environment was the same as a few minutes ago helped me spot that M was one of 'those' kids - She would open/close/open/close her eyes, like she was 'checking' as she fell asleep. And she would panic if she opened her eyes and anything had changed. Then she'd be all adrenaline-rushed, and it takes two HOURS for that to cycle out (IIRC) of the body, so if I blew it and moved before she was well and truly down (about 30 minutes before I knew she would NOT open her eyes again, at worst, but no way to tell if it would be a 12-minute night or a 20 minute, or 30 minute one), anyway, if I blew it, she was going to be H*LL to get to sleep for ages after that. I had to be willing to just STAY, and stay, and stay, and not even adjust my position or roll over, but be right there the same distance away until she decided she could trust that to stick all night. Granted, we coslept, so it really DID stick all night, mainly. She still will panic if she wakes up and the world doesn't look exactly like it did when she fell asleep. (I think Ferber said it was like if you fell asleep in your bed but woke up in your driveway. Kind of disturbing!)

Anyway, that's the only help I have for the bedtime thing. Do some more research, see if there's a 'style' to the falling asleep that might respond to a certain approach better than another. That's one of the things that Ferber does best, is help spot the actual specific problem, and find the method(s) that resolve that specific problem (the poor guy seems to be livid that everyone tries to use his CIO method for things it was NEVER designed for, on the wrong ages, and so forth, and then blames him for it either not working or causing worse problems).

[hayley]

when she hit 4 months, she had been going 6-7 hour stretches before her first nighttime feeding. i was loving it! then.. back to 2 MAYBE 3 hours. i was so frustrated! then i read about 4-month-olds on kellymom and realized it was exactly what was happening... she was so distracted during daytime feedings that she was making up for it at night. co-sleeping after her first waking saved my life :)

now at 6 months, she has just started dropping the 1 or 2 am feeding (still wakes up, but not to eat). she generally will go down around 9 and not eat until 5, then comes to bed with mama until 8ish. every night is still a new adventure, but we've made definite steps away from hourly wakings.

but i don't even want to talk about naps... we are still on Planet 30-Minute and i want to poke my eyes out with a fork...

[Claire, London]

I have b/g twins. The first two months were hell, 2.5-3.5 months were a breeze... and then it all fell apart until 6.5 months. 4-5 wakings a night, EVERY night - DH and I thought we were losing the plot. And then they slept! For 10 hours! Then 11 hours! Then 12! It all coincided with them learning to crawl - suddenly everything fell into place.
I think we're about to enter the 8 month sleep regression - had a few wakings last night, but at least they're cheery during the day, and thanks to the Wonder Weeks book, we now know what's going on and how to deal with it (and, more importantly, that it won't last forever). Four/five months was definitely the worst, though. No matter what I did, nothing eased their boredom and frustration. My advice? Stick to as much of your routine as you can, lots of cuddles, plenty of stimulation, and plenty of good food. Love 'em up, fill 'em up, and wear 'em out. I don't know if it helped them much, but it sure as hell helped us because we felt as though we were DOING something (though in truth, I think it's just a question of waiting it out and telling yourself the good times are just around the corner).

[Amie]

Hedra,
thanks for the comment...I did order the book as soon as the pediatrician recommended it (wouldn't you know I have every other sleep book known to man, but not that one). In the meantime we've just been doing whatever it takes to get him to sleep, but not letting him cry. It obviously wasn't working, and we just decided it wasn't going to work for him or he was too young for it. He goes down fine, but we average 2-5 trips back up to stick his pacifier in when he wakes up and bounce him back to sleep (he's in an Amby bed). Hopefully we're not creating a bad habit here...

[hedra]

Amie, I'll also recommend that you try to stop worrying about the bad habits. Bad habits are really a cultural phenomena, IMHO - they don't exist except in our minds. Kids change SO MUCH, and are so driven by their own developmental processes, that the idea that a habit will stick with them endlessly is just absurd, if you really analyze it.

Yes, some children have intense needs, and they find great satisfaction from certain things - binkies, being rocked to sleep, cosleeping, nursing, thumb sucking, whatever. But there's an idea that somehow if it is useful to them enough that they carry it through one or two or more phases of development, it MUST BE STOPPED. Which is weird, really. If it doesn't interfere with their life, what's the problem?

Kids don't generally go to college needing to be rocked to sleep. Pretty much not at all. Eventually every child comes up with ways to get back to sleep without someone helping them. Only 1/3 of 1 year olds are sleeping all night (in the parental sense) without needing help getting back to sleep at all. 1/3 of 1 year olds need help one or two times a night. And 1/3 of 1 year olds need parental help to get back to sleep 3 or more times a night. That's the normal range (at least according to the sleep research I read ages ago when I was trying to figure out what was normal). In none of these cases is it a 'bad habit'. It is just normal, developmentally, for them to function better with assitance. If you read up on neurobiology and/or neuropsychology, you'll see that other humans serve as a portion of the brain function of the immature brain. Our responses actually set off changes in the biochemistry of their brains, our comforting and help causes their stress hormones to reduce, the way our own thoughts serve us as adults. That's not a bad habit, that's biology.

It was hard for me to drop the idea that there was such a thing as a 'bad habit'. I never totally lost the concept, but I did lose the fear of 'bad habit' forming. Every blessed bad habit my kids have ever had, they have left behind as it became developmentally useless to them. Yes, I supported them in outgrowing the things they did that seemed bothersome to ME (even if obviously not to THEM), but they probably would have outgrown those things anyway. Only by looking back could I really start to see that things came in cycles and seasons, and that it was only in my own mind that a behavior appeared to be interminable. If it was happening NOW, somehow I feared it would always be like that, and it would never ever ever go away. My oldest taught me that it wasn't so. It was truly all a phase, and even the longer phases end.

Good luck, and hang in there. At that age, if I had only 2-4 trips to re-settle G, that was a fabulous night. At the same age, I didn't have to settle B at all. You get the child you get!

[supa]

God, what a relief to know there's a four-month "thing." Even though this is my second, I had forgotten just how nerve-wracking four months is. And unlike his brother, this one is breastfed and a little bit low on the charts, so it's extra nice to know that it's not just me. Thanks.

[Cari]

My son will be 4 months on Wednesday and we are having the WORST time with naps! I read the Baby Whipserer when Gunnar was first born and started the recommended cycle of Eat, Awake, Sleep....but I got the guilt trip from my mother about not "rocking him to sleep". She refused to play by the rules and made me feel so bad that I started to rock him to sleep...which I have to admit I love! But that led to walking, bouncing, swinging, driving to sleep. And now he demands walking laps around the house sometimes for 45 minutes. As he is getting heavier, my back just can't take it, not to mention I can't do anything else! He is on a 2-3 hour rotation, consiting of 10-15 minutes of nursing, playtime and then if and when I get him to nap he only sleeps in his crib for 20-30 minutes. Now if he is in the car and falls asleep, he can sleep for a couple of hours, even after we get home from errands or whatever. It typically gets worse as the day progresses. I have been trying to break him of the walking to sleep habit by getting him to his brib as soon as I see yawning or red eyes....he just cries and screams. Tonight it went on for over 2 hours. What did I do? Gave in as usual and nursed him. Now he is up and playing and still no nap. Once he goes to bed at night(usually around 9pm), he sleeps until 6-7am! Which is awesome I think! I then he comes to bed with me and nurses and we usually fall back to sleep for a couple more hours. I suppose this is sending him mixed messages. ugghhh. He is the best baby other than just not wanting to go down for naps in his crib on his own. Any advice out there???

[Julia]

Oh yes, a very bad time that four month mark. Me oh so smug that my sweet little guy woke just once a night to nurse and even slept through from time to time. I think, 'Great, then he'll just drop that feeding when he's ready..'. Then, BAM. Up every 2 hours, on bad nights 1 hour or 45 min. Had to nurse him down waaay too long at every awakening and nap time. Hoped it would just change, bags under my eyes grew, then darkened. Found this website (Love it! so nice and balanced and the comments section isn't teeming with mean agenda freaks ready to leap out and judge other exhaused and overwhelmed mothers- thank you Moxie!), read everything, tried everything, and finally decided to buy Weissbluth. Didn't stick with his recommendations completely, but learned a lot about sleep and putting babies down to nap as soon as they are tired.
After not nearly as many tears as I feared, the going to bed business improved 100% within a few days, and he now goes down/goes back to sleep with no effort on my part besides a couple pats and a few kisses. Still wakes up twice a night around 12:30 and 3 for a snack at 6.5 months, but I'm ok with it since he ends up sleeping 7pm to 7am-ish and his general mood is much much(much)better- poor guy was exhausted too!
I'm currently weaning him, so let's see what happens when the boobs don't show up at night anymore...

[3.5 month old mum]

Did anyone have this start as early as 3-3.5 months not 4?? Mine started this week with the screaming everytime he wakes and waking ten times more than usual! This website helped alot!

[Michelle]

Once again - thank goodness I found this site. The Princess turns 16 weeks today and I have not gotten more than 1-2 hours sleep at a time for the past week.

And I work from home part-time and we have a 19-month-old son. Yikes.

Anyway - just nice to have some company in my misery. I don't remember it being this bad with our son, but I second the notion that long-term sleep deprivation prevents memory formation...most of the past two years is lost on me.

[April]

Yeah!!!! I am not a failure!!! This is my first child and I thought for sure I was doing somthing wrong to create his sleep problems. He only will nap for about 30 minutes and just started to wake up 3-4 times a night when we were down to just one. I wasn't familiar with 4 months regression. Good to know. Now I can tell all of those "helpful" relatives to shove off!!!! Great advice ladies! Thank you!

[Thank you!]

I am feeling like a bad momm at the moment too! My little on was sleeping through the night for 10-12 hours from 2 months on. Now he's about to turn four months and we haven't had a good night sleep in two weeks. He goes down around 7:30-8:00, then wakes at 11:30, 1:30, 4:00, and 6:30. His naps have also diminished to being up for two hours, then sleeping for 45 minutes, up for two hours, then sleeping for 45 minutes, etc.... Needless to say, I want my little sleeping baby back! It is nice to know I'm not the only one going though this!

[Kayla]

Well I have to say that my 3 1/2 month old is sleeping wonderfully through the night. He sleeps anywhere from 8-11 hpurs, which is awesome. But my concern is during the day. He takes short naps which is fine but I feel like I am nursing him every hour. He will eat for about 10 minutes and then decide to come back 30 minutes to an hour for another feeding...Is this normal?

[Celie's Mom]

My daughter sleeps from 7pm-8am relatively soundly, waking up at 10pm, 1am, and 4am (roughly) to eat. She is exclusively breastfed. I'd love to get longer stretches of sleep out of her, but can't seem to make it happen. Is this normal? Is there anything I can do? We've never really gotten more than a 4 hour stretch of sleep from her...is that normal?? Any advice most welcome.

[Colleen Welsh]

AMEN. I am reading this after days of research into why my mellow but distractable 15 week old will suddenly only nurse in bed, and in yesterday's case for about 5 hours out of the day, then awake and ready to play at 2:30 am to 4. I am obsessed with starting good habits, but that seems ridiculous now. I'm determined to stop beating up mommy. We'll do what works and laugh in 5 years about what we thought were bad baby habits.

[Ami]

You all have made me feel so much better. My daughter is 4 and a half months old. She went from sleeping 10 hours at night without waking once, to now, waking every 2 hours to eat and scream. She has always refused to sleep in the crib. She naps on my chest during the day (if there is a nap). I am breastfeeding her and she refuses to take a bottle of anything!!! I am stressed out, frustrated and broke because I can't work much because I can't find anyone to watch my baby. My mom watches her 3x a week so I can go to work for a few hours. The baby screams until I get home because she is hungry and tired. I'm going crazy.

[Moxie]

@Kayla: Normal. Naps don't usually firm up until 4 1/2 to 5 months.

@Celie's Mom: Also normal. Her sleep will stretch out, and her waking schedule sounds pretty on-par for four months.

[newmama]

I have to say there is light at the end of the tunnel. My 4 month old has been sleeping through the night and I feel that these are the reasons why: 1. Wake her at the same time every morning 2. Give her 5 feedings a day (every 3 to 4 hours depending on her cues) 3. Not keep her awake for more than 2 hrs at a time during the day (gets around 5 hrs of naptime total) I learned all of these tips from the book "On Becoming Babywise" This book changed our lives!!! Since 8 weeks my baby has slept through the night! She currently goes to bed around 8:30-9pm and sleeps until 6:30am. I learned to stop the night wakings by feeding her more often during the day & ensuring she gets quality solid sleep during her naptime and it works. Hope this helps.

[Emily]

K...I am new to this blog, but after finding NO GOOD REASON as to why my 4 1/2 mo. old is waking up 4 x's through the night, I have found this site. I am so worried about my baby boy. He was sleeping 8-10 hours through the night starting at 2 mos. He would also take (2) 2 hr. naps and maybe a third evening cat nap. He WILL NOT nap now. I'm lucky to get an hour or two TOTAL throughout the day. Sleep experts say that babies at this age can't stay up for longer than 2 hrs., but mine sure does. He is totally sleep deprived and has red eyes, but will only sleep for 15-45 minutes at a time. I have tried everything from nursing him and putting him into bed, to using the cry-it-out method, and NOTHING is working. He seems to fall asleep in the car, but only for an hour at a time. Even when he does sleep for a total of 3 hours for naps through the day, he is STILL waking up multiple times through the night. I don't know if I need to give him water in the night to let him know it's not worth it to wake, or what. I have taken him to his Pediatrician several times in the last few month because of this concern, but I can't find any REAL answers or HELP! I am sleep deprived and don't know how to help my baby sleep! I have wondered if my milk supply is low, but have boosted it by eating more calories and drinking plenty of fluids, and I do not supplement. I also started him on rice cereal, but that doesn't help either. Any suggestions?? I have started to try the Baby Whisperer suggestions, but don't know how long I need to stick with something for him to make it a habit. We have a nightly routine every night, and I try to feed him close to the same time every day, but it's not working. I'm feeling so hopeless. I thought that THIS was the age when things got easier. He suffers from acid reflux (a mild case) and is on Prevacid, but it hasn't been a problem for him since the medication helps. (dosages have been upped with weight, etc.) If anyone has any suggestions I would SURE appreciate it. THANK YOU!

[Marie]

oh thank goodness...I was so happy to come across this! My little darling just turned 4 months and man oh man.....I have forgotten what it is like to sleep longer than a 2 hour stretch. I mean I am sorry to hear that you all aren't getting sleep either but it is nice to know I am not alone!! Last night was a real tough one but I am hanging in there. My little guy won't nap in the day either....today he napped a whopping 20 mins! I was kind of hoping that he might just be having a growth spurt and that this will pass in a few days. I don't want to start him on solids just yet even though I have had people telling me to (saying it will help him sleep longer). Anyway ladies (and gents) hopefully we all get some sleep soon..... I guess it is a small price to pay to have our precious little angels!

[Cindy]

I'm so glad I found this info...my daughter has been driving me crazy she is 4 1/2 mos and won't go longer than 3-4 hour stretches when she was going between 6-9 hours a month ago. She got a cold when we went on a long trip so I figured that was what derailed her regular patterns but now a month later her sleep is still messed up and now I know why. Last night I was about to lose it saying that this is worst than when she was first born because I thought we had made so much progress and then it just disappeard. But hearing all you ladies gives me a light at the end of the tunel. My baby is not eternally messed up!

[Amber]

My 16 week old has an oddly shaped pallette which makes attachment difficult for him. As a result he seems to be getting a lot of air with the milk which may be contributing to him throwing up regularly. He and I both get frustrated by this (and my nipples no longer look normal) but I am determined to breast feed. He also seems to pull with his mouth while pushing with his hand. This occurs on both sides. Any advise???

[Sarah]

Help!! My son is four months old now and refuses to breast feed. I am so upset it is a problem I have never had before. I have two other children and the little doll will not latch on we. I have been back to work for a two months and this started happening two weeks ago I have tried everything. I was told by my doctor to try a sippy cup. A sippy cup? I would think this would compound the problem. He starts to scream every time I try to get him to latch on it is a nightmare. I could really use some advice on this. If anyone has any ideas let me know.

[jaime]

All you worried and mad mothers, it's ok! this is all normal! your baby is getting more active and growing. He/she needs more milk! It's alright that you feed the baby during the night. As soon as the baby plateaus again in his growth, it will slow down again. Another thing that helped me, that CAN be adjusted later on in his life is cuddling the baby to sleep. You will not spoil him by making him feel secure! He is still used to being in thw womb and being tightly snuggled. he simply will sleep better if you help him feel that way. Babys cry for so many different reasons... they cannot communicate what they need. It is your job to try different ways that might help calm him...too hot, too cold, diaper needs changed, he's hungry, he needs cuddled, he has gas (get gas drops by the way) he needs to burp, etc...don't stop trying to help your little one communicate. Let him know you care and aren't going to give up on him. It will soon be over...it is just a stage. Love your little one!

www.infinitemarketingsystems.com

for chatting with me...Jaime

[ca]

I've discovered that growth spurts are usually the answer behind the sudden sleepless nights. My little guy was always right on "schedule" for these spurts and would go from sleeping 10 hours to waking every 2-3 hours fussing and wanting to eat. It's temporary (as is most everything when it comes to babies) lasting a few days to a week. Now he's back to his good sleeping habits.
Google "baby growth spurts".

[Jackie Dee]

My daughter has just been given temporary court orders to relocate with her 7 month old from Colorado to North Carolina to live with her new husband, with the stipulation that she must return to Colorado monthly for a week visitation with the father, for the next six months or more while the CFI is being done. That is a 2 stop flight. Which means my grandson will take off and land 24 times in six months. It it that ok for a child that age?

[kyles]

the joys of motherhood hood hey! who came up with the saying "sleeping like a baby"!
its not true they dont sleep!
well my daughter is now four months old and she now is sleeping great! but the first few months were terrible it was like every hour and a half of getting up to crying and giving her bottles.my daughter got used to me nursing her in my arms to go to sleep but i changed all that when one night i decided to just pop her in her cot while she was awake.she cried for a bit but eventually fell asleep and now every night i give her a bottle around seven pop her into her cot,she cries for about 5 minutes then falls asleep and sleeps all night!i know its hard to let them cry themselves to sleep at first but it makes it easier for future nights!

[Chris H]

So glad I just found this post! I truly think all the baby sleep books have been written to make parents feel bad about themselves. My almost 4 month old has never been a great sleeper, but the last week has been a new level of hell. 30 minute naps, after 30 minutes of frustration trying to get him down. Waking at least 3-4 times per night. It's all very frustrating, but I'm just trying to remember that my job right now is to do whatever he needs to be comforted, and that it's impossible to spoil or create bad habits in a baby this age. My new mantra at 3 AM is "This too shall pass". And I know in a few years I'll secretly miss our late night cuddles...

[Deanne]

I would just like to thank you all from the bottom of my sleep deprived heart. I am right in the middle of the four month sleep regression and here I am in the middle of the night nodding my head as I notice my situation in so many of these comments. Just...thank you.

[Deanne]

I would just like to thank you all from the bottom of my sleep deprived heart. I am right in the middle of the four month sleep regression and here I am in the middle of the night nodding my head as I notice my situation in so many of these comments. Just...thank you.

[Crystal]

So sleep regression wasn't the worst for us at 4 months (crossing my fingers, we're in the middle of 4). Its the no-nappin-on-anything-but-mommy and screaming like he's in physical harm ANYTIME he sees me and realizes I'm not holding him. My goodness! I walked by the mirror earlier and he smiles at "the baby in the mirror" and then cried when he saw me not holding him, but holding "the baby in the mirror". He is in childcard 3 days/wk and I always pick him up to hear "he napped for 3 hours twice". What IS it about making mommy miserable and sleepy at 4 months?

[April]

I'm SO glad I found this, because I think I'm going to go INSANE at any point.

My 16-week-old has been sleeping well at night for a couple of months now. She would normally sleep for 6-8 hours and then wake up once to nurse and go back to sleep until between 8:00 and 9:00 a.m. This all went downhill in the last couple of weeks. Now I'm lucky if she sleeps even 3 hours the first stretch, and then is up the rest of the night every 1 1/2 - 2 hours. This morning she got up at 5:45 a.m. and decided it was time to wake up.

Plus, she started rolling over at 8 weeks and will now roll over and scream because she can't go to sleep. Isn't development lovely?

And her naps have gone out of the window. I'm SO exhausted. I can't remember my other two doing this but maybe that's because I was a sleep-deprived zombie at that point in their lives.

I'm just waiting for this to pass...

[Becky Sager]

I feel like I have already posted as many of your comments are straight from my mouth lately!
Our little man Jack has not been the same baby since the day of his 4 month check up! Now, today, I heard the term "4 month sleep regression"...I had to ask, "Is that really something or just a term you made up?"
I am so glad to hearthis is real, it explains so much. I have been worried about what to do, if something was wrong, how to help him without forming bad sleep habits, etc...the list goes on.
So, all that is going on is that Jack is learning new things-physically and mentally/emotionally and it's screwing with his sleep.
Ok, I can handle that.
Thanks for all your posts and information!

[Dani]

DD is 4 months, 1 week old and her sleep has completely fallen apart. She never really did nap but since about 6 weeks she would sleep 10-12 hours a night, WITHOUT WAKING! If she did wake, she was an excellent self soother and put herself right back to sleep without so much as a "goo." For the last couple of weeks, she has been waking twice a night. The first time all I have to do is give her a few pats on the back to send her back into dreamland but the second time I do have to get us both up and give her a bottle. We are usually up about an hour. She is also sleeping a total of 2 less hours a night.

[Becky]

My 19-week old has (knock on wood) generally done pretty well in the sleep department. She keeps moving her bedtime earlier and earlier, though - which is putting a wrench into her feeding schedule. She eats at 6a, 9a, 12p, 3p, 6p - and then whatever we can get her to eat at bedtime, which used to be 9 and she keeps moving it! We're down to about 7:30 now... so, you guessed it, she's not so hungry since she just ate 90 minutes prior. Is it normal that she SCREAMS bloody murder at bedtime now?? Once she settles down she's usually OK for the night, but good lord the screaming is really starting to get to me. Please tell me this will pass...

[Marti]

My baby is almost 5 months and is going to bed regularly between 7 and 8 then wakes up at 11:00 or I wake him up - to feed - wakes up again around 2 then wakes up at 4 kicking and fidgeting until 6 in the morning. He starts off in the co sleeper then cries at the 2 am feeding and I bring him in bed and he pretty much keeps me awake for the rest of the night, The last 3 nights he has had a huge green explosive poop between 4 and 6. My girlfriends are Weisbluth devotees and are telling me he should definitely be sleeping through the night and both they and my Dr are telling me that I HAVE to get him out of the bed. That being said - I work during the day and feel like he would feel rejected if I just kick him out of the bed AND don't see him all day. Thoughts - help!?!

[Charlie's mum]

Oh thank you god for giving me the idea to search this site. WE are 19 weeks at the moment and have been waking up every two hours since the 1st of Jan (19 days and counting). I thought I was going insane, and NO one told me about the 4month regression. It is not mentioned in any of my books either? I now have hope again. As I have tried everything in the book to very limited results. I have returned to co sleeping (after having just successfully abandoned it at 3.5 months) as that makes it less dramatic for me with the night feeds that get demanded from our highness every two hours. But I miss my other half !! Having just gotten used to having the "big baby ";o) back in the bed - we are now in seperate rooms again and "his little lordship" resides next to me again.
All of your comments give me hope to eventually be able to have some rest and a good nights sleep AND cuddle with hubby again.
We will tough it out. Charlie is a star and we do worship the ground he bobbels around on - even if he makes our life a bit difficult right now. He is worth it!
Good luck to all of you mothers of 4 months olds out there !!

[Manar]

i have a 3 month 4 week yr old..on 22nd will be 4 months. he hasnt really had a good sleep pattern. he wont begin to think to sleep before midnight. he will only fall asleep while breastfeeding. when i lay him down in his crib to sleep after he has fallen asleep on me he is up minutes later screaming. i sleep beside him on a guest bed and he is fine. i transfer him to his crib and he screaaaaaams. i dont want to have him cry it out. in the day time he sleeps on his own no problem but not for long periods of time. please help with any advice

[Kirsten]

I have a 4 month, 3 week old and we just went through the sleep regression. Which, of course, I knew nothing about until today. BUT the last week or so, she screams bloody murder when we try to give her a bottle. She's EBF, but I pump because I work full time. Eventually, after about 15 minutes of full-on, red-in-the-face, window shattering screaming, she'll wear herself out enough to eat. And then she'll drink the whole bottle. But why must we go through the whole routine??????

[laura3033]

Oh Thank God!!! Like many of you have already mentioned...why has this sleep regression been kept a secret???
My daughter has been such a good sleeper since about 2months old. I was able to put her in her crib awake, and she would drift off peacefully within 10mins. This came to a crashing halt 2 and a half weeks ago when she suddenly decided that her crib is a torture chamber and screaming at the top of her lungs is a better idea. I bought the Baby Whisperer yesterday, but am beginning to wonder if her ideas are what we will use.
My daughter use to go down at 9pm and sleep right through to 8:00am. She might have woken once, but I would go and put her soother back in and that seemed to do the trick. Now I find myself in there every hour. Would if be bettr to just get her up and feed her? Would I be starting something I will regret in the end?

Argghhh!!! Like someone said before...I was a much better mom before I had kids.

[Andrea]

it's just a nightmare. Strips you of all your confidence and then slaps you in the face with it. If we make it to the other side, it will be a miracle.

new mama to a 19.5 week old.

[trish]

my 4 month old is sleeping thru the night, fingers crossed, but REFUSES to take naps during the day. if he does it is only 30 mins, it went from 2 hours in the am and afternoon to 30 mins the entire day. hopefully it will pass!!

[Lucy]

Count me in as another exhausted mama who is relieved to read about the sleep regression! My daughter was sleeping up to six hours at a stretch until a week and a half ago or so (she's 15 weeks now) and naturally falling asleep for naps on her own. Now, every single freaking nap/sleep encounter is prefaced by up to SEVERAL HOURS of sca-reaaaaaaaaaaaming bloody murder. I'm holding her and doing my best to comfort her, so it's not like she's alone in her room crying, but absolutely nothing seems to work. I really started to panic a few days ago after yet another awful night - worried that I'd somehow missed the boat on establishing good sleep habits, and even MORE worried that this would be a permanent state! My new mantra, thanks to you all, is "it's just a phase, it's just a phase."

God love all you exhausted moms out there - you're not alone, for sure!

[Trustin]

Hi everyone. There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true.
I am from Maldives and now teach English, give please true I wrote the following sentence: "Ferrets were always without acting infections, as pepys called on 27 march 1667: with men challenging often pink hair for cells of rather any secondary natural growth, assays suffered medical nose, 1 provillus."

Thank :( Trustin.

[Caitlin]

I'm so happy that I ran across this site. My baby is turning 4 months coming up this Thursday and for the last week she's been waking up 2-3 times a night at all different hours. We've been spoiled in that since 5 weeks she sleeps 5-7 hours and then another 5 hours (usually with one feeding at 2am).

[Love my baby girl!]

I thought I had hit the jackpot with my dd. From 7 weeks she slept from 7pm untill 5.30 and would then give her a BF and then straight back down untill 8.30-9am. I was getting at least 11-12hrs sleep a night and would not be getting out of bed before 8am 7 days a week!!!! Then it happened....4 months. At first I thought it was a growth spurt as she started waking at around 4am, then it was 2am then it was 1am then it was 12 then 11pm!!!! I didn't know what I did wrong, I would be in tears wanting my 12 hours baby back. We are now at 19 weeks and have decided to let her CIO. I feed her when she wakes at about 1am as she seems pretty hungry but then she will wake 3 hrs later and I know she isn't hungry then! So tonight I am going to let her cry that 4am wake up out and see what happens. Although when I do give her a quick top up she does sleep untill 8am so I do get a bit extra then but I don't want to make a habbit for her. It is the unknown that is the killer. If someone could say to me " Your baby will be back to normal on this date and it will last this long" I could handle it a lot better. Oh well fingers crossed for tonight!

[ALICIA]

my 4 month dAUGHTER FELL OFF THE BED ...I WENT TO GO GET SUMTHING N THEN I JUST SEE HER ON THE FLOOR CRYING.AFTER SHE WAS JUST LAUGHING N GRAVING MY FINGERS ...

[Chassidy]

My four and a half month is sleeping better than the other months! I did start making her cry to sleep and stopped giving her a paci and that helped. She only cries for like 5 minutes and then is sound to sleep for about 10 hours.

[monika]

I don`t remember when I have slept well since last nine months. My daughter dosen`t sleep at a strech for more than 3 hours at night. She wakes up for more than 3times and sleeps only after nursing.During day time she takes naps of 20-30 minutes for 2-3 times. I don`t know what I should do.