Q&A: toys for a 2-year-old deconstructionist

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Now for today's question. Dawn writes:

"I have a question I hope you can help me with. This is my third child and he’s the first who is taking everything in the house apart.

He has taken knobs off of furniture, unscrews all the caps off of the bottles in the fridge & piles them up in the middle of the top shelf,

Climbs up to the counters and the armoire with a chair that he pulls over from the dining room and tries to reconfigure my computer

click on icons when I step away for a moment. We know he’s trying to test his limits but "no" doesn’t seem to be working.

I can’t keep him from opening up the fridge (I tried the fridge lock but he broke it the first week) and am consistent on saying no but he

Still goes back and does it. I have tried redirecting him but he seems to be focused on dismantling the house.

It was suggested to get him toys that he could take apart & put back together that are age appropriate but

I can’t seem to locate ones that don’t cost a fortune or aren’t at about age 5 like the ikea toolbench."

Think about how proud you're going to be of him when he's a rich and happy adult doing something involving taking things apart and figuring out how they work! He'll probably support you in your old age.

But you're in a tough spot right now, because all the obvious things you could be giving him to take apart--old computer keyboards, old computers, broken electronic equipment--have parts that are too small for a 2-year-old.

I wonder if it would be possible to make him some kind of 2-year-old-appropriate workboard with a sheet of pegboard, some rope, a bunch of huge washers (too big for him to swallow), some shorter lengths of PVC pipe, and a bunch of other things you find at the hardware store. I'm thinking there has to be a way to affix the rope to the board in loops that you could twist and tie things to, so you could switch up the configuration of things. He could take it apart and reassemble the washers and other stuff, and you could keep changing it so he wouldn't get too bored.

Or you could just get him a Rubik's cube.

Anyone else?

Comments

[Jo-Ann]

I have this kid!! He is now 4 and recently started listening and wanting to learn appropriate behavior. At 2 my guy got kicked out of daycare. He could climb the chainlink fence of the outside play area and run away. He has taken apart every toy he has. He would open the fridge and take the covers off things. Turn on every light. Climb on the kitchen counter to play with the microwave We had to keep living areas where he spent time computer free and anything we cared about free.
Friends used to invite us over when babyproofing and we jokingly called him the babyproofing tester. He could circumvent any childproofing gadget there was and take advantage of any missed babyproofing. At one point he would not stop touching a china cabinet and could circumvent all childproofing. We wound up moving the furniture for 6 months to another room!

Things now are 1 million times better. I think he got older and things are getting easier. My guy needs to be busy. When he is not in preschool we have him outside and running around as much as possible. We read and used 1,2,3 magic steps to parenting. We redirect. We were as patient as possible and consistent. Now he is at a age where we can have rewards and stickers for desired behaviors.

He sounds like a smart guy.

Good luck!

[enu]

Our firstborn was the incredible destructo-baby. From a very, very, very young age, taking everything in sight apart and creating broad swathes of destruction was her m.o. It was very, very trying. She was not nearly as distractable as all the parenting books (which she had apparently not read) would lead you to believe. We basically tried to turn her living areas into a padded cell (for us, you understand ;-) ) with a few choice things she could tear apart. And spent a lot of time at places with lots of choices for active play. But we never really _solved_ the situation - this is the child who climbed out of her crib at 15 months, PULLED A DOOR OFF ITS HINGES at 18 months, etc. She was amazing - she was terrifying!

We just had to wait it out. Like the other commenter's baby, she grew out of it - suddenly. One day when she was 4, at a play area, she suddenly became Hall Monitor for Life, and has been organizing everyone else in the world ever since. Everything is color coded and in its place. The world... and kids... are strange, wonderful things....

[enu]

oops, left off the actual part about toys. Needed to be careful about them, as ordinary age-appropriate (hah!) toys were often no good.

Have you tried the various shape sorters? We had a lot of good luck with the sphere shaped one that the parts go into.

Sometimes a good thing is just a big box full of stuff, to just take everything out of and fling about. Then refill it full of stuff. Rinse and repeat ;-)

Actually, big boxes were a lifesaver for me - a really, really big box (refrigerator size?) can provide YEARS of entertainment for kids. My kids still regret that we ever got rid of the refrigerator box (but it was getting very shabby and my husband wanted a piano so there were space issues....

[Shandra]

Ha, my son is like this too. He learned to pull up on things late, close to a year old - and the first thing he did was pull himself up next to the cupboard that was child-proofed and held the garbage... and undo the child lock. At 16 months he pulled a chair over to the front door... undid the deadbolt... pulled the chair back... and opened the door. Sigh.

Anyways, we have worked with him on no, and we put climbing apparatus in our backyard and try to get out there a lot, take him to the park, etc. And we reorganized everything and packed a lot away for when he is... 10? :)

We spend about 10 minutes a night setting up puzzles for him using household stuff - we put tupperware inside itself with the lids on and put cord through toilet paper tubes and knot it... we have an espresso maker, the small kind that goes on the stove burner. It has a lid, unscrews, and has a permanent filter inside. For a couple of weeks anyway, that was a good toy (it has no glass in it). We have an old (film) camera with no batteries that pops open in fun ways. We look for things like that. Value Village and garage sales are our friends.

However I do have a couple of toy recommendations for you anyway.

If you don't have one already, a good old fashioned shape sorter seems to exercise some of the same impulses.

Melissa & Doug make a latch board (a board with a bunch of different fasteners) that we rotate in and out that is a hit.

Also bristle blocks (go to amazon.com and try "bristle blocks twirl tots - they are plastic but they are amazing).

My friend has one of those stacking trains and he plays with it over there.

We have found a Brio/Thomas train set has a lot of interesting bits (cranes, etc.) too - pricey but he uses it every day.

Good luck. :)

[Shandra]

Ha, my son is like this too. He learned to pull up on things late, close to a year old - and the first thing he did was pull himself up next to the cupboard that was child-proofed and held the garbage... and undo the child lock. At 16 months he pulled a chair over to the front door... undid the deadbolt... pulled the chair back... and opened the door. Sigh.

Anyways, we have worked with him on no, and we put climbing apparatus in our backyard and try to get out there a lot, take him to the park, etc. And we reorganized everything and packed a lot away for when he is... 10? :)

We spend about 10 minutes a night setting up puzzles for him using household stuff - we put tupperware inside itself with the lids on and put cord through toilet paper tubes and knot it... we have an espresso maker, the small kind that goes on the stove burner. It has a lid, unscrews, and has a permanent filter inside. For a couple of weeks anyway, that was a good toy (it has no glass in it). We have an old (film) camera with no batteries that pops open in fun ways. We look for things like that. Value Village and garage sales are our friends.

However I do have a couple of toy recommendations for you anyway.

If you don't have one already, a good old fashioned shape sorter seems to exercise some of the same impulses.

Melissa & Doug make a latch board (a board with a bunch of different fasteners) that we rotate in and out that is a hit.

Also bristle blocks (go to amazon.com and try "bristle blocks twirl tots - they are plastic but they are amazing).

My friend has one of those stacking trains and he plays with it over there.

We have found a Brio/Thomas train set has a lot of interesting bits (cranes, etc.) too - pricey but he uses it every day.

Good luck. :)

[Jody]

Dawn,I have a three-year-old who is very similar. For as long as I can remember, he has loved to take things apart and put them together. He is absolutely fascinated with wires, electronics, and how things connect. His first phrase was "plug it in." My husband and I are software engineers, so we have all sorts of computer junk around the house. When my son about 18 months, we gave him a computer mouse to play with (we removed the ball from the inside and shortened the wire for safety). He went around the house trying to "plug it in" anywhere he could -- the holes in my laundry baskets, the baby gates, under doors, anywhere. When he got older, my husband made him a box with all sorts of jacks and gave him a bunch of different wires to plug into it. He plays with this more than any other toy. He hooks up old phones, computer peripherals, whatever we can give him that we consider "safe" enough for a three-year-old. The only restrictions -- no power cords and no plugging anything into a wall. He also loves to play with jig-saw puzzles, blocks, the sandbox, and old pots and pans.

As for age age appropriate toys that might help -- have you tried Mega Blocks? They are like the big Legos, but less expensive. My son liked those at 2. We also got him some Brick Blocks from Melissa and Doug.

If your son won't stay out of the refrigerator, how about making it ok for him to get into the fridge once in a while? When my son wouldn't stay out of the fridge, I started keeping a sippy cup of water on the bottom shelf for him. He could take it out and drink it whenever he wanted. This made him feel in control, and soon playing in the fridge wasn't a problem. We did the same thing with the garbage. He wouldn't stay away from it, so we started giving him little things to throw away. Pretty soon, the garbage wasn't so interesting.

Hope this helps!

[Amy]

I'm smiling while I read. My husband was this child. He has vivid memories of getting into *serious* trouble for taking apart all of his toys. He never understand why adults got so mad that the toy was *destroyed* when he was using it in the only way he considered fun! BTW- He never outgrew it. Anytime anything in our house breaks-- he takes it apart to examine it. (He would take it apart before it broke if I let him). He's also a successful engineer. No advice-- his parents never found toys that suited him. Ideas above sound good. He does love our daughter's L*gos, oh and letting her assist him in fixing her toys-- so anything that could be taken apart safely-- I love Shandra's idea of household puzzles.

[Jill]

Kids like this often benefit from some time with an older, active playmate. Do you know someone with whom you can exchange some playdates?

[Ally]

The Parents brand at target has a few toys for this age that require good fine motor skills. We have the pet hospital that has a set of color coded keys to open the little "kennels." And there's some big block thing they have with different latches, locks, levers, etc.

Mine isn't like that, so that's all I have. Good luck!

[Suzanne]

I read these toy suggestions on another blog and thought they were brilliant. I can't remember where, though, or I would link it (maybe it was here??). Buy a huge screw and washer (they come in enormous sizes larger than an adult hand so no choking hazard) from Home Depot for your child to unscrew and rescrew. Also, gather up as many padlocks as you can find and attach them to a rope ring or length of chain. Place the matching keys on a key ring with as many other unused/unneeded keys as you have. The woman who suggested this said that her kids would spend ages finding the correct keys to get the padlocks all off. My 16 month old is a little young for this right now but I have stored away these ideas for later. Disclaimer: these toys could cause some pretty serious damage to your home, pets or other kids if your son is a "toy chucker". These toys might not be safe for all kids. Good luck! You have a very smart kid!

[Maria]

We have this: http://www.amazon.com/Battat-Take-A-Part-Crane-Truck/dp/B000N5RT4M/ref=pd_bxgy_t_text_b/103-3270678-7855013?ie=UTF8&qid=1189779911&sr=8-1 working drill and everything! We also have a latch box, similar to the Melissa and Doug board, but kids can put stuff in it. It came from one of those vintage-style toy catalogs that are everywhere this time of year, but I'm blanking on the name.

[hydrogeek]

My husband was this person too. His mom tells a story about him being very young and figuring out how to use wire to plug a battery run clock into the wall. She walked in just as he'd stuck the wires in the outlet and the clock started spinning faster and faster until it died. I guess he didn't know about the difference in 12 volt and 110 volt yet. (I cringe from the danger he was in!) Now he's a farmer/rancher, and the guy that all his friends call when they can't fix something. I'm loving some of the above ideas, but don't have any of my own. Just stalking the comments as usual! Good luck!

[Allison]

Ok, that battery-clock-in-the-wall story is REALLY funny!

[AnonMon]

I have 23 month old kid who appears to have "the knack" (old Dilbert joke about being an engineer. Current favorite is Mr. Potato Head. It has small parts, so it's a supervision only toy (it is put away in a box when we're not playing with it). But it's good for almost an hour of toddler entertainment every day. We also recently bought him a shopping cart -- there's something about loading toys into it and then racing around the kitchen at high speeds or transporting tupperware back and forth that pleases him...

Also, if he's cellphone obsessed, stop by your local store (we use Veriz*n) - they usually keep old display models (they're plastic replicas -- no batteries or antennas) to give to toddlers. We got a red slider phone that he loves!

[Christine]

If I ever need our electrical covers un-babyproofed, I just ask Max. He's gotten through every kind we've tried.

I got a bunch of cheap containers with lids or hinges from Target. Also, we keep all our used cottage cheese containers, etc. He especially likes to open-put something in-close-open-move to another container (rinse, repeat), and we've just discovered small dried pasta works well for this. Plus, the dogs clean it up when he spills. Score!

We keep different sized boxes around, and he shuffles things around in those for hours.

There's a toy at the library he loves. It's a board with small magnetic balls in it, and there's a magnetic wand to move the balls through a maze. No choking hazard, and it keeps him busy (although he's trying to figure out how to unscrew the thing). Also, we have a Melissa and Doug tool chest. He doesn't really use it the way it was intended, but he wanders around with the wooden tools and attempts to dismantle things in the house, which luckily doesn't work.

[hedra]

Ah, yes, B, our first 'deconstructionist' (M is also, but she's a different flavor, what did DH call her, I'll have to check - they're all architects of some sort)... Deconstructionist - one who builds with recovered materials, takes apart and then puts together in a new way. This is the boy who, the very first time he pulled up on the piano bench to stand, immediately stuck his fingers into the repair-holes on the top and tried to dig out the screws, ignoring the pile of toys on top and now within reach...

Toys he liked:

1) Cardboard boxes, especially the flimsy ones like sodas come in. Or pasta boxes. Let him explore how the paper comes apart, how they're made, and what's inside if it is big enough (soda cans became towers). ANything that can be beaten apart, picked apart, or torn apart. Invest in a good handheld vacuum.

2) Large lego - put it together first, let him take it apart. The deconstructionists in the world don't want to start with the building part. Okay, so technically, we started him with medium lego, and then he rapidly graduated (by 3) to the '7 and up' lego. Immense dexterity, there. And he was not a mouther, at all.

3) 'sorter' toys that can 'reverse' - that is, the shapes stick into the holes but don't fall through, just sit there. We had I guess it was a doodle bug? The shapes fit into the slots on the side, but are held there. Pulling them OUT and then putting them back was key. Start with 'out' instead of 'in', 'take apart' instead of 'put together'.

4) Puzzles, especially wooden ones, always start with the parts assembled, and let them extract first, while you put the parts back (unless they want to do that, too, which B did).

5) Sticks from the yard, if you don't mind them eating a little bark. Peeling bark off a stick, or breaking it in bits, WOO! Likewise, dried leaves (non-toxic trees like maple are good for this, plus things like soft pinecones/larch cones). And flowers that can be plucked apart (plenty of edible sorts if they eat stuff). M, our other deconstructionist, loves to disassemble flowers. Last night, she was struggling to fall asleep, and I was whispering to her about having good dreams... what would she dream about? Flying? NOOOOO. Scary. Horsies? NOOOOO. Then I got it. A garden full of flowers you can pick and pick and pick, and where mommy will *never* get angry at you for picking them ALL. She glanced at me, gave a little mini-nod, and then fell asleep with a blissful smile spreading wider on her face. Oh, the joy! Flowers and flowers to pick and pick and pick apart!

6) for later, again, but stickers. Peeling them up from the sheet is a great joy for these kids. Choking hazard, though. We still have stickers all over the toilet lid, from years back.

7) If 'buildings' are fun, then blocks. You build, they destroy. You may have to build FAST. And keep a hold on your urge to complete something before it is toppled, you won't get much chance! We got quality wooden blocks, architectural blocks, window blocks with stuff inside, etc., etc. LOADS of them. They're still a source of joy.

8) Save the empties of bottles he can open, wash, and put where he can get them. Oh, and let him peel the labels off. Water bottles are good for that, but the lids are small.

I think those were the main absorbers of that process for B, and also for M.

Have fun! If you can get into the joy of it, you're in for some fascinating observation.

[Charisse]

Wow, I don't have this kid (totally different sort of arranging- and naming-oriented geeklet for me), but it's just so cool how people are born with these abilities and obsessions.

My thoughts immediately went to those metal puzzles that corporates sometimes exchange as gifts and keep on their desks. They often have pretty good-sized pieces and are quite difficult to take apart, which is the point. I found a website with a bunch of them in nice safe steel--apparently they're called "disentanglement puzzles" btw--but they're kind of expensive. Still, it might be fun to get a couple or ask for them as gifts--see here:

http://www.seriouspuzzles.com/tavpuz.html

I bet this sort of thing would take him a few minutes:

http://www.seriouspuzzles.com/patiencepuzzle.html

...and if you've got friends who are in executive type jobs (maybe other types, that's just where I'm familiar with them from) ask them to check their desk drawers for puzzles they've received. They've probably got several.

Good luck and have fun!

[hedra]

I'm reminded of the story from my IL's, can't remember which uncle it was, but he deconstructed a clock (good sized one with gears) when he was a toddler-ish kid.

His dad just put all the parts in a box, and gave it back to him when he was 10 or so. IIRC, he did put it back together, and get it working again.

I just thought the idea of just putting it aside and giving it back later, when the 'put together' part of the brain is more advanced, was brilliant.

[Christine]

Forgot one: cheap ball o' yarn.

In ball form, supervised (obviously). I usually limit him to one or two rooms as long as I can keep an eye on him from one vantage point. He starts unrolling. He winds the yarn over things, around things, through things. Eventually, he reverses to get it picked up. He can't actually rewind the yarn into ball form yet, but he can get it picked up fairly well. Extra points awarded for convincing a dog or cat to participate.

Another thing we just started is letting Max help us cook. It's messy, it's time consuming, but he loves it.

[me]

My 18mo took apart his older brother's flashlight toy. I was *stunned* - it's a lot of unscrewing and figuring out how the pieces come apart. His 3yo brother cannot do it. I let him play with it now (of course without batteries!) because the parts are big, and it keeps him pretty occupied. Plus, he's not taking apart something else in its place.

Incidently, he also loves dress up kind of playing. A banana sticker on his nose for 2 hours. Bob the Builder safety goggles, hats, neckties, shirts that are too big and "hide" his hands - he loves wearing all kinds of stuff like that. He does not play with toys. He's about 20 months and one of his favorite "games" to play is to put socks on his hands (with my help), and then try and do some fine motor things, like moving dry cheerios from a bowl into a box.

When choosing toys in general for my own kids or as gifts, I scope out http://www.toyportfolio.com/ - they usually have really good suggestions.

[shirky]

i just want to say that everyone's kids sounds so NEAT!
I wish I knew them! I bet they make awesome grownups too.

[me]

Oh, I almost forgot! A great deconstructionist game is to put "stuff" (whatever they are interested in, small cars, tiny books, etc.) into a camera bag. Ours has zippers and velcro pockets. It's challenging for little fingers (even more challenging with socks on your hands!) and a great game for church.

[caramama]

What about those giant cardboard "bricks"? Like huge legos. I used to love building things with those and then knocking them down.

I found a link for Doug and Melissa: http://www.fatbraintoys.com/toy_companies/melissa_doug/deluxe_jumbo_cardboard_blocks_40_pcs.cfm

[Rachel]

This was my sister when we were growing up. At 16-months she unscrewed the slats on her crib and could roam the house when ever she wanted. By 7 she would fix the vacuum whenever it broke. When she turned 12 she was repairing and tuning lawn-mowers and other small engines. Legos were the biggest help for my mom I think. She also really loved to help in the garden all the pouring dirt and digging holes and *planting* things kept her active and intrigued.
Where things got tough was in school. She did get the same grades as my brother and I did and that was really puzzling. When she first went to college she was very frustrated and struggled to keep a passing grade. What it boiled down to was motivation. After taking two years off she went back and took *more* challenging classes and that seemed to be the key.

[mimi smartypants]

There's a toy called "Automoblox" that is totally the shit. They are wooden cars that are made to be taken apart and put back together again. They're kind of spendy, but well made and fabulous for 2-year-olds---my kid is 4 and still plays with hers.

[MBMomof3]

I have this child as well and he is #3. We call our 1st child- Directo (she's in charge), 2nd- Distracto (very focused) and then there is 3rd- Destructo. He is 23 months old and VERY ACTIVE. Gets out of grocery carts, strollers, anything like that while strapped in. Constantly testing the limits of every toy and getting into things and figuring them out. I can empathize but it is interesting to think what they'll do one day.....
As far as toys go....here's some that work for us....
Knex (the early ones from 3 yrs old- parts aren't too little and he can build things)
Marbles and a marble run (just have to watch him so no choking issues)
Rocket Radio Flyer (can ride it around house and has seat that holds stuff so he can fill it up)
Big Dump Truck (metal one) with rocks- fills it up, empties- you see where I'm going
Big Plastic SLide- we even bring it inside during winter
Soft foam letter puzzles (can push them through and throw and don't hurt anyone)

Hope that helps! Thx everyone for some of these great ideas.

[V Lee]

This is my three year old daughter to a T. I got a calculator for her just yesterday (so she would leave mine and my husband's alone) and this morning she broke it irreparably. Grr. I could go on, but I think I'll start using these ideas I've read.

Thanks for posting!

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