Q&A: the annual "summer air travel nightmare" question

Emily writes:

"We are taking our 18-month-old son overseas soon. I've read through your archives and feel relatively equipped to deal with his jet lag and the unfamiliarity of a new place, once we get there. But the trip itself will be brutal. It involves 2 red-eyes in a row: a too-short one at midnight to get from our home in the west to New York; five hours in the airport, and then an 11 hour flight which leaves at 11 am and lands at 5 am the next day in the new time zone. Then we have to tough it out until we can sleep that night.

How do I help my son get through this flight? We will try to get him to sleep early beforehand, so that he gets some rest before the airport and the first red-eye. During the layover we will run around and stretch our legs as much as we possibly can. But 11 hours on a plane, including both some daytime and a night's rest? I am planning to bring his PJs and bedtime books on the plane so that we can try to replicate our going-to-sleep routine mid-flight. Various pediatrician and parent types have suggested Benadryl, but I am reluctant to give him unnecessary medication. He still nurses avidly, so that's a help. He has flown plenty of times before, but never for more than 5 hours at a time. Anything  you and your readers can suggest would be greatly, greatly appreciated."

The good news is that this will be the worst trip of your life, travel-wise. So that's something.

It sounds like you've really thought out the whole thing and have identified the trouble spot. The 5-hour flight probably won't be a problem, since he'll probably sleep for an hour or so. And then the layover in the airport should be doable, with all the runningrunningrunning he'll do. (Although with that much time it might actually be worth it to research someplace close to the airport and go outside, so he can get some sunshine and fresh air while he runs. If you post which airport you'll be at in the comments the New Yorkers in the crowd will help you find a park or something close by.)

It's really that 11-hour flight that's going to kill you. If you've got as many activities as you can schlep (including a bunch of small new ones he's never seen before), and you can replicate the bedtime routine, that's probably as good as it's going to get. Try to stuff him full of food to make him sleepy when it's time, and hope you get good flight attendants. (I find that flight attendants make or break the flight, much like the nurses in the hospital make or break a labor and delivery.)

My only opinion on the Benadryl is that you MUST give it a trial run before you use it on a plane, because it makes some kids zonk out but it makes other kids hopped up and unable to calm down for anything.  So if you're thinking of trying it, make sure you know if it works the way you want it to, or you could make things 100 times worse for yourself (and everyone else on the flight). I don't have a problem with giving it in theory, but can also understand why you wouldn't want to.

Who regularly travels that far with kids? I know there are some regular readers who fly to India and the Middle East from the US. I've never flown more than 5 hours with my kids, so am basically useless with the detailed practical tips. Is there something really obvious that I haven't talked about?

Comments

[sweetisu]

We don't fly often now that we have two. When our son was 13 months old, we took a trip to visit my in-laws in Malaysia. It took 35-HOURS from when we left our doorsteps to when we reached their home. It was brutal, just brutal.

What helped us was bring lots of little snacks, and I mean LOTS. At the time our son was only eating cheerios so I brought the entire bag. He played with some, he sat on some, and he nibbled on them frequently. We also brought some small toys and put them into little bags with drawstrings. The drawstrings were more fun than the actual toy :-) And we brought a sling so we could walk up/down the isle to help sooth him to sleep.

He's one of those kids where Benedryl makes him super hyper. Fortunately I tried it in advance.

There's a lot of white noise in the plane when they dim all the lights so that should help him to go to sleep. See if you can bring a stroller that would recline on flight. You can use it at the airport if he falls asleep. I think that he will probably sleep most of the first leg, as that's likely to match his internal "bedtime" clock, and stay awake at the airport until the 11a.m. take-off and then take a short nap. For such a long duration, you will definitely need comfortable clothing and lots of diapers.

Our fellow passengers were very understanding when our son was being loud and wanted to walk/crawl everywhere. I hope yours will, too. If anyone give you an attitude... say cheekily to them not to provoke you / your son, or he will be even nosier! ;)

Of course a 13month old is very different than an 18month old. I hope you all have an uneventful flight.

[Eva]

We just took our ten-month-old to Sweden. It was 18 hours door-to-door divided into two flights. Normally my girl is a fabulous sleeper but both times, there and back, only slept two hours of all that time. She was insane with exhaustion. The whole thing really sucked. She wanted to play, crawl in the aisles, attack people's heads over the seat backs, talk really loudly, bang things on other things, have temper tantrums, etc. We were quite unpopular.

What helped: SNACKS SNACKS SNACKS. A variety of obnoxious toys. Taking lots of walks around the aisles and trips to the bathroom. Visiting with the other babies on the flights. Hiding us under a blanket to get her to sleep/calm down. Singing songs. Letting her do mildly obnoxious things in order to prevent her from melting down in frustration. Deciding not to care what other people thought.

For one flight we had the bulkhead seats, which were good because she could play on the floor and I could sit on the floor with her and put my food on my seat and eat that way. I recommend bulkhead seats if you can get them.

In the end, even though it will be hellishly miserable, it will be over. You will be at your final destination and you will all get some sleep and time apart from each other (if you want it--I certainly did.) The fact that it ends is the best thing I can say about flying with a small child.

[Shelley]

This is the hardest age to travel with -- old enough to be mobile, but young enough that they don't understand what's happening and why they have to stay in a seat. Try and find out if the planes will have individual screens at the seats (if so, your kid can watch cartoons) -- if not, I'd totally spring for a portable DVD player and bring lots of videos.

The other thing, and I'm speaking from brutal personal experience here, make sure you not only bring extra changes of clothes for the baby, but also for you.

[hedra]

If he at all likes tv/videos, see if you can rent a DVD player for the flight. We did this when we went to Alaska (11.5 hours air time, but broken into two legs). They had in-airport pickup and drop-off of the machine itself, which made it a breeze to do. And it helped them zone out when there was a long leg of nothing to look at. Granted, it also meant earphones, which was easier with kids who are somewhat older than yours.

Prepare for lots of walking up and down the aisle - having been on transpacific flights, that was a major boon to the travelling families - toddler walkies! More toddler walkies! And again, here we come again!

Also, check with your doc about airsickness. It seems to crop up more in kids on the really LONG flights, and you may want to have meds available. Nothing like being stuck in the bathroom line 8 hours into the flight, while the four toddlers ahead of you are projectile vommiting onto the floor and walls (and lucky me, nothing worse than being in the front row right next to the bathrooms, long before I had kids of my own... no sympathy, and no stomach for the smell...). Whee. Be prepared! Ditto the extra clothes for you, especially for this reason.

Also, advise toys that don't roll. BTDT, and lost a truck under the seats, had to fetch it from three rows up. Fortunately, that one was a pretty empty flight.

And don't be afraid to sing songs, lots of songs. Everyone would rather hear your off-key voice (or mine, rather, LOL! yours may be lovely!) than the whining child.

Check air travel sites - some have tips for flying with kids, and I can't remember them all (but did find some to be 'd'oh!' kind of things, wish I'd thought of...).

[Maria]

On Benadryl, definitely give it a trial run, but our doctor recommended it to help keep their ears open (with the drowsiness as a nice side effect). So don't dismiss it out of hand.

We did a marathon trip with ours when he was 21 months, and I wish I had thought to use pull ups rather than diapers on the flights. Not all the planes had changing tables, and pull on diapers (if you use disposables) would've been so much easier.

I brought a ton of paper back kid's books (I hit the used book stores)--lighter and more flexible than the hard back and board books. Tiny size containers of play dough, special treat/new snacks (in our case, Puffs, fig newtons, pretzels), finger puppets (and books to go with them; we brought the Big Red Barn and a sheep, a cow, etc), books on tape or CD (wearing the headphones might be a distracting novelty)--there's a great Dr. Seuss CD, and I copied a lot of what our public library had onto my iPod.

I also ended up draping blankets around his car seat during sleep time just to help him tune out the distractions.

[Charisse]

We had a rough trip from SF to Charleston in April--I know, it should take maybe 6 hours, but things went totally haywire and we were stuck on-runway for hours on pins and needles because if they ever opened the doors we were going to have to sprint full across the Dallas airport with Mouse (granted, she's 3) and all our gear.

Anyway, I third the recommendation to bring FOOD. Don't count on being able to pick it up on that 5-hour layover--that time could vanish as did our planned 3 hours in Dallas. When we got to the second plane finally, after a sprint and begging them to open the doors again, we were really really happy to have the picnic chicken and extra crackers and cheese I'd packed. Use a mini-cooler, use whatever--a fed kid is happier than a hungry one, wherever you are.

Also, plan activities for stages, and don't forget the baggage line--you could be there for a couple hours, pack small things accordingly.

Good luck!

[Cathy]

I second the thought about diapers being tremendously difficult to change in the airplane lav. Pullups, although they don't hold as much volume seem like they'll be a lot easier to do (standing up on the toilet seat).

I had the most longest flight from Atlanta to Orlando ever (about 1 1/2 hours) when my 5 month old was overtired and cried the whole way. Fortunately it was the last leg of the way home, and the other to and from were fine. What kept me sane was remembering that every single person on that plane used to be a little kid too. It was a giant, crowded L-1011 too, so there were tons of people.

She has since traveled from Orlando to San Francisco (age 15 mos) and to Alaska (age 3.5). Denver next week (age 4.5). My recommendations are: it's a lot easier when they have their own seat. We got a seatbelt harness thing (kids fly safe dot com?) that makes a 4 point harness out of the airplane seatbelt so you can check the car seat. Gate checking the stroller is fabulous. Spring for the little TV (or bring your own little DVD player and a ton of batteries).

[giddy]

Two comments about playing DVDs and need for earphones--my 2 1/2 year old will happily sit in our van and WATCH a video that she can't hear, because the headset we have still won't stay on her head. The in-ear type might work better, though.

However, maybe that's not an issue anyway---last week we flew and I noticed several families watching DVDs on players that had speakers (ie, instead of ear phones). The sound was low, and with all the white noise on the plane it seemed like it would be unlikely to bother others, although I wasn't sitting close enough to be sure.

You might also buy a bag of cheap ear plugs and if your child were to be loud, offer them to people sitting near you. I bet most of them will decline anyway, but appreciate the offer. (I always sleep with ear plugs because my husband snores, and recently discovered I love them on planes as it mutes the drone. You can still hear all the announcements, etc., clear as day.)

You didn't say if you bought a seat for yoru child or if he will be on your lap. I know I never paid for a seat until I had to, but if you did, then I recommend bringing the car seat on the plane rather than checking it, because kids can undo the buckles of those seats so easily, and you have more control of mobility that way.

Finally, on the Benadryl issue--I have found that people who report getting hyped up on Benadryl tend to get sleepy on Sudafed (which revs most people up). And, Sudafed is also good for keeping the ears clear. So, if you DO decide to give medication, that's another option. Though I agree 100% with Moxie that you had better be certain of your child's reaction to either drug.

In general, though, my experience has been that no matter how tired a child is, they might not sleep on a plane because of the novelty factor, and the stimulation of all those people. My kids will only sleep on those flights when all the lights are turned off. (And if your flights are both red-eyes, at least in parts, the lights will be off for some of the time.) Good luck!

[giddy]

another cheap entertainment is a book of stickers. On our last trip, I doled out a whole page of tiny stickers every 20 minutes or so, which my daughter used to make "tights" on her legs.

[Slim]

Is there a reason you can't sleep upon arrival? I know the traditional advice for people headed east is to stay up until as close to bedtime as possible, but I've found that as a grownup, an afternoon nap really helps. (To make sure I get up after a few hours, I drink a huge quantity of water before lying down.)
Granted, the water trick won't work for your daughter. But a couple of naps might be helpful. Actually, they may be unavoidable.

[swissmiss]

I second Eva: if you don't have your seats already, try to get the bulkhead seats. My 18-month old spent half the flight from Switzerland to Colorado down there (the flight attendants may be more or less understanding about letting kids play down there - hope for good ones - but if they say your son can't play there and you want to play hardball make them get out the regulations manual. I bet it only says that everybody is "strongly encouraged" to remain in their seats the whole flight and that nobody can *sleep or lay* on the floor. Yes, my husband has played hardball.)

I brought enough new toys and books for him to get something new every hour, and any decent airline should hand out at least one toy as well. Small light things like stickers, playing cards with animal pictures on them, coloring books are easier to haul around.

Hope for the best but flexibility is the name of the game. If he's not going to sleep at some point just accept it - it's too frustrating otherwise.

Psychologically I also found that by assuming that the flight would be a total disaster the real thing could only turn out to be a pleasant surprise.

[chaya]

I've flown to and from Israel several times with little ones, the last time with a 4 year old and 16 month old. I add my agreement on food, we bring enough food for an army, and mostly more "exciting" than usual, so I know that they WILL eat something, not complain and reject everything I offer them. I usually assume I will need 24 hours worth of stuff, I would rather not need it, than need and not have it. Also, a few cheaper sippies, so if one rolls away you aren't stuck. A closed water bottle for you is also a good idea, so that instead of juggling a open cup of water and a baby, you can put the water down or in the seat front. Also, a trick that worked really well last time, if you don't buy a seat for the baby, when you check in ask very nicely holding the baby if they will put an empty seat next to you, and if they will don't check your car seat. Having a place to put him down was a life saver. Last BTDT trick--if they are kicking the seat in front of them, if they are in a car seat and you recline the seat, it usually moves them back enough to stop bothering the person ahead. And, it will be hard, but then it will be over. Good luck, have fun!

[emily]

I don't have much advice other than my favorite perspective trick of remembering that the flight lasts a finite amount of time and then you will (probably) never see any of those people ever again.

But I mostly wanted to say Slim's suggestion to drink a lot of water before a nap (before an adult nap) is the best thing I've heard in a long time. I've never thought of that and it's a great idea!!

[anna]

We just flew to Poland with our (teething!) 15 month old: it was 20 hours, door to door, with 2 flights, a train ride, and two car rides in between. We assumed it was going to be a complete hell, but were pleasantly surprised: he conked out on the way over, and was mostly up but cheerful on the way back.

Things that worked:
a) SNACKS. Eva is so right: we brought along quart ziploc bags of raisins/ dried cherries/ apricots, cheerios, crackers, and tea biscuits. Babe munched his way through the trip, both on the plane and subsequently while we traveled. I've never seen him put away so much crunchy material.

b) NAPS. We let him nap as needed: whenever he felt sleepy, he slept on the planes, trains, etc. We didn't try to keep him up at all during the trip, and got incredibly lucky: he wasn't jet lagged, at all, either way.

c) TOYS. We went to the dollar store and bought all kinds of cheap trinkets: plastic slinkies, a small rubber chicken that squawked. The more obnoxious/ noisier, the better--they'll distract your kidlet, and other passengers can't really hear them because of the white noise of the plane.

d) WALKS. We walked up and down the plane, and visited other babies (this was his favorite).

e) DRINKS. At this point, he only drinks 18-22 oz of milk a day usually, but on the planes, we gave him far more than that: it was the best way to keep the tiny hydrated. He didn't really want water.

f) DRUGS. Benadryl and Dramamine, just in case, but above all, baby Advil. His molars decided it was time to try and erupt just as we left on the first flight, and crank baby Advil saved us all.

g) EXTRAS. Extra diapers, extra wipes, extra clothes. We brought a small plastic bag that held a changing pad, diapers, wipes, ziploc bags, and a change of clothes for both son (plus a t-shirt for us), and took that with us for diaper changes. Much easier than lugging the whole diaper bag into the tiny restrooms.

Hope this helps--and if it's any consolation, even though everyone told us it'd be awful, it wasn't bad at all. Hell, we're even going back over the Atlantic in four weeks...

[anna]

oh, and definitely extra pacifiers and extra spoons: we lost or dropped several, and just kept pulling out new ones.

[Jan]

OK, the very thought of this ties my stomach in knots, so my first question is do you have to go.

Not really, because obviously you've already decided to go (but do you have to? oy, can't breathe).

I just wanted to say that my pediatrician said that not only does Benadryl hype some people (more likely kids), but the reaction isn't necessarily the same every time. So trying out ahead of time isn't necessarily a predictor. Especially with kids.

You're sure you can't find a nice B&B close to home? Really? OK then, I'll just wish you the best. :)

[Hilary]

Speaking of flying nightmares, have you all heard about htis fiasco?

http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=local&id=5472927

A woman and her 18 month old were kicked off a plane and had the police called on them because the boy was saying "bye bye plane" during the safety instructions. After a 12 hour delay. After the flight attendant hissed at her "It's called Benadryl."

[me]

I would definitely bring the car seat on the flight - do NOT check it. I've had to fly with 2 kids under 2 (alone!) and I found that my kids have a certain expectation - when they are in the seat, they expect to remain buckled in for the duration. My kids sleep pretty well in the car, and it translated to sleeping in their seats on the plane - they slept 5 out of 6 hours. I would do Children's Motrin (not the infants drops) very little in terms of side affects (excitability) and really truly helps them relax.

[Mamalooper]

I second everyone on bringing lots of food. And if you can swing it, buy a seat for your child and use the carseat. My daughter is 19 months old and we bought a ticket for her for the first time. It was a life saver. She gets that being in the carseat means no running around. It was easier to feed her too.

The dvd is good as well as new toys to bring out every 15 minutes or so. I went to the toy store before our trip and stocked up on things that she could play with while in a car seat.

I ignored the dirty looks from some other passengers - too bad, families live in the real world too! Hah.

Put a ton of wipes in a ziploc and some face cloths too as you never know what you need to clean up. The plane bathrooms can get pretty grotty early in the flight so bring something to put on the change table - don't know how often they clean the change table.

And even with the short flight, bring food. Our one hour trip to NYC was delayed for two hours (we were on the tarmac). If we didn't have food and water for the girl, we would have been sunk.

Other than that, pack your patience and sense of humour. Your job is entertainment as the cruise director. No matter what happens, you will get to the destination. And kiss the ground of fellow passengers/flight attendants who play peekaboo!

[Emily]

At Moxie's suggestion, I'm posting the airport: it's JFK. I don't think there will be much time to go outside (international check-in, etc), but if any locals have ideas, please let me know. I'm an ex-NYer but can't think of any place.

We're going to Israel, which means there will probably be many other little kids on the plane. This is both good and bad: lots of experience and noise and company for my boy, but little chance of his getting special space.

Thank you for these comments!

[Karie]

Ditto on the Pull Ups.
As soon as Bear could stand up I started using pull ups for all of our outings. ALL changing tables seem gross to me. And I got tired of clorox wiping everything she might touch. (Seriously, I'm a germ freak)

[Kate]

Everyone's made great suggestions, but I wanted to "ditto" on the suggestion of a complete change of outfit (incl. underwear and socks) for YOU, if possible.

The last time we went to Israel my daughter was 11 months--she wasn't super mobile. She slept quite a bit (in her carseat) and nursed fanatically (every! 2! hours!). The return was worse because of the mixed night & day as opposed to a 11pm flight.

We're supposed to go again in January, when she'll be 3 1/2 and my son will be 20 months. I have a feeling he'll be the wrench in the works; she'd easily watch DVDs for hours on end.

It's a great idea to have PJs and bedtime books, but since it will get dark over the ocean before he's accustomed to going to bed, it may not work. I'd say kind of let him and his mood determine what happens next. Even if he only sleeps for 2 hours instead of a "night" sleep, that's 2 hours you don't have to be on point and can actually eat/drink/pee/read 10 pages of a book.

As you know, JFK is as big as a small city and far from everything. But there are all the planes to look at, plus if you are desperate there is a tram that goes around the airport (if he's into trains and such).

[obabe]

Kids or not, I was always taught to bring, at the very least, an extra change of underwear and a toothbrush in case of delays with a long flight and a layover.
Everyone's advice has been great above me-I don't know if youre flying El Al, but there will be TOOONS of kids on that flight- which, is both good and bad. At least you can find someone else with diapers/wipes/food if need be. Or playmates!
Good luck!

[Deborah]

We adopted our then 27mo from China last December. Now THAT is a long flight, coming back with a child you have only know for a week or so! All the above suggestions work, and I'd also add that my daughter (who has since also flown West to East Coast) likes playing with the wipes as well. I bring extra ones and we clean the trays, the seats, etc. It's also good because I have heard some horror stories about the things people do on those tray tables (for instance, changing a baby!).

[Reese]

I am prefacing with the knowledge that this is not going to be helpful at all:

We took our (then) 15 month old to Hawaii this past Spring. It was the worst airline experience I've ever had. She barely slept, didn't care about the toys/activities we brought, wanted to run (the aisles were not wide enough for her - she fell alot and bumped into people's legs), etc. Our one saving grace was the cough/sore throat medicine drops we had - they knocked her out for the second flight (7 hours) and the third flight (6 hours). We also received a great toy in a Happy Meal that kept her happy for roughly half of the fourth flight (5 hours). But, yeah. Worst experience ever.

I will say that we would have been MUCH better off buying her a seat instead of keeping her on our laps.

[lydia]

One caution with bringing the car seat, though: it may position the child so they cannot possibly avoid kicking and stretching against the seat in front of them.

Our daughter was 17 months, and the guy in front of us absolutely insisted on reclining his seat so he was literally in her lap, and then complained to the flight attendant. Jerk.

[Carla Hinkle]

We fly every year from the West Coast of the US to Europe. With my older daughter that age was the WORST (I am sorry to say, really, really, really the worst) of any I've had.

I would second/third/fourth the DVD player. 18 months is not too young and even if it only buys you some 15-30 minute stretches, it is worth it.

Snacks are good too. And I just threw the nutritional guidelines out the window and gave her whatever her little heart desired, which I think at that time was Cheetos.

Seriously, you have thought it out well and now just have to do it.

But get that DVD player. Really.

[charissa]

Didn't have time to read all the comments, but I second getting bulkhead seats if you can. If your son will be sitting in his car seat, you can drape a blanket over it while he sleeps (tuck it up over the plane seat, making a tent over him) -- this was the only way we could get our 2 yo to sleep on our flight to England.

We, too, had a doctor friend recommend Benadryl for ears. It made our daughter loopy, but not sleepy. Definitely try it first.

For diversions I might recommend stickers. I got some plain old dot stickers (hundreds in the pack), which my daughter just stuck to everything. They're not hard to clean up, and they are quite engrossing!

Good luck!

[cagey]

I'd like to chime in on the stroller comments. We've traveled extensively with our 20 month old son and a good, reclining travel stroller saved our hide more than once. We have the Combi City Savvy - it's all of 12 lbs and includes a shoulder strap. It's a bit pricey, but I used it as my regular stroller, too.

[z]

i don't have much experience with the occupying 18month old but as far as the extra supplies for the plane i agree with everyone... i really try to not pack more than i need but i always pack twice as much.

for diapering... i recommend the swim diapers. to take them off you just sort of tear them away and then they can be put on like pull-ups. another option is the overnight diapers which unless the baby poops can stay on for at least 12 hours.

don't forget the rules on the liquids/gels so make sure you have less than 3oz versions of all meds and creams. i had to throw out some of the bigger stuff which fortunalely i didn't need for the baby but still at that time stressed me out.

take along extra ziploc bags (quart and gallon size) just to hold dirty clothes or things that you pick up aong the way, or when the packaging splits on the snacks that you bought.

i definitely recommend for any flight but especially for the international flight to have a whole set of clothing change for every person (more for baby). on our recent international flight both coming and going we got delayed and it really helped having an extra set of clothing.

[lydia]

I travelled with my 10 month old to Russia many moons ago. I don't remember a lot about the trip, lol, except that it was exhausting and that we had two incredibly long horrible layovers. And unfortunately my baby couldn't even RUN around, though god bless her she wanted to crawl and cruise SO badly... I mostly let her, dirty floors be damned. The only piece of advice I have is to request the bulkhead seat before you get on the plane, it's at the very front and it has the most floor/leg room for all your stuff and for baby to sort of play at your feet. I also remember that constant nursing occurred, though i don't know if you guys are still doing that. If you do bottles, I say let him have the bottle in his mouth the whole stinkin' time if it keeps him happy!

[michelle]

we only flew with DS when he was 8 months old. my tips...dress toddler so they are the cutest kid on the plane. give tyhem a bottle or sippy cup as you take off. sucking will help their ears. and give another drink as you desend. wake baby up to do this otherwise your kid may wake up screaming from the pain. try and shift your days on their sleeping scedule to acomindate the trip. we will let DS wake up late, then push nap back adn let him sleep late, etc. i can push his schedule back two hours with no il will. bring a stroller and check it at a gate. have his sleeping blankets adn favorite sleeping buddy for his nap. use disposible sippy cups, snack containsers and utensils so you won't feel bad when they are lost.i also buy more snacks/drinks on layovers or lobby. bring a camera you might get some priceless photo's in the process. also, get on the plane last so you have less time coped up on the plane. it's harder to get situated but the extra play time off the plane is worth it.

[Rosemary]

Veteran of some serious long haul flying here.

All sounds like great ideas. But, be careful with the car seat. You MUST check with your airline about it as some countries have rules specifically forbidding the use of carseats in-flight. You don't want to have to end up like me and having to find space in the overhead locker for our carseat. I could tell you all the reasons for that rule, but I won't bore you. Just make sure your airline allows it.

IF the person in front reclines their seat, wander casually up to the galley, and ask the flight attendants if they'll ask the passenger to put it up a bit. That way it doesn't sound like it's come from you and you don't have to put up with the complaints from in front of you for the rest of the flight.

By the way, if you don't have an ERGO, then borrow one for the trip as they are wonderful if you have been holding your wriggling 18 month old in the galley for 13 hours and you are ready to drop on your feet. At least you won't drop the baby.

Finally, the feeling of getting off the plane is just wonderful!

[ellen landrum]

I haven't flown far, but I've flown about 7 round-trips with my 18-month old. These are all great suggestions- we get by on stickers, PB&J and graham crackers (they can't drop all over like Cheerios, etc.), and lots of pacifiers. I couldn't fly without a sling, as a means of getting her down ANYwhere. But above all, I'd say take it one step at a time, let go of the schedule for the trip, and have a glass of wine, if you can!

[kelli]

I flew by myself with my 12-month-old and my 3-year-old over the holidays from Oakland, CA to Baltimore. Besides the TV (thank you, JetBlue!) which kept the big kid amused -- even without sound, I brought a sticker book, a mini-magnetic drawing board, teddy bears, a big book of stories (20th century children's book treasury by Janet Shulman), a coloring book and crayons and a couple of new small toys. The best thing I brought? A giant pad of sticky post-it type notes and a pen. Kept them both amused sticking the notes to everything that they could reach. And they loved drawing on them. The best $5 I spent on the trip!

[MommyProf]

Rehearse before the flight. A lot. We took an 18-month-old to Asia with 2 connections, but we went over what was going to happen repeatedly. We will all get on the plane and get buckled into our seats. We'll sit there for a while and look at books and toys. There may even be some surprise toys for you to look at (there were a few, thanks to the $1 store).

They will bring us some food. We'll eat our food and then everyone will take a long nap. Etc.

It worked surprisingly well.

[Sue]

I always go into long-haul flights thinking of them like labor - they have to end sometime, and it's not going to be much fun. Our *worst* flight ever was when DD was 27 months old - we flew from Newark to Beijing - DD was recovering from bronchitis, had an ear infection and (wouldn't you know it) had an allergic reaction to her new antibiotic while on the flight (helloo hives and diahhrea!) She didn't sleep for 23 hours straight - no nap, no nothing. The only thing that saved everyones sanity was the DVD player and lots of Blue's Clues and Dora.

So I highly recommend -
a DVD player. Even if you're anti-tv in real life, it'll save the day - it's not like your kid is gonig to be out playing in the sun or doing crafts on the flight anyway.

Take *lots* of diapers. LOTS. Last summer (dd was 22 months old) we ended up living at Dulles for three days straight while trying to get home to upstate NY (it was that terrible rain storm where the highways were flooded and closed, or we would have just rented a car) and there was nowhere to buy diapers that would fit a toddler. This might happen to you someday

when you arrive, as long as your child is on a /"schedule" that includes normal waking hours at som point, go with it (unless you really need another schedule) SO if your kid wants to sleep from 11pm-10 am, let him. You're on a relatively short trip and you want to spend it having fun, not fightig over bedtime.

Definitelay take naps the day you arrive. It's more important to be sane than in the correct time zone.

Good luck!

Oh, did I mention that on the flight to Beijing, I was 28 weeks pregnant. Good times. (BTW the ped. approved the flight with the ear infection, I'm not just really irresponsible)

[Anna]

About bringing food and being prepared before you go to the airport...what are you all doing about milk for toddlers in the face of these ridiculous restrictions on liquids? Have any of you been able to get shelf-stable boxes of milk through security?

I have a flight coming up with a very, very tight connection in Dallas. The last thing I want to worry about is having to go "grocery shopping" in the airport.

[kjirsty]

I have flown a lot with my DD, the longest was a trip to hawaii last spring when she was 17 months old. we were lucky in that the plane was v empty - so lots of room to run and we were able to bring her carseat on without buying a seat. Some thoughts:

- definitely agree with PPs that you should ask the airline if they can put you near an empty seat - we have found our DD sleeps waaay better in the carseat than sprawled across our laps, but are too cheap to buy her a seat. so the mercy of the airline has helped us many times to get a "free" one.
- put baby in comfortable clothes - and bring similar (comfy) changes. we now have our daughter fly in PJs, esp since she's taken to getting carsick, and the extra 2-3 pairs of PJs pack up small in the carry-on.
- take a million baby wipes/clorox wipes to clean stuff up - dirty tables at JFK restaurants, tray tables, changing tables, etc.
- you can buy disposable baby placemats which are good for the tray table - they stick to the tray and have designs on them which can occupy baby for maybe, oh, five minutes. plus they provide a clean surface. along the same lines, I always bring disposable changing pads.
- bring extra plastic bags with you to store dirty spoons, dirty clothes, dirty pacis, etc.
- the delta domestic terminal at JFK - the part near the elite check-in - has a tiny little kids playground if you want to search it out - and some great stores with fun toys. we did not buy toys from the stores, but the store clerks seemed happy enough for DD to rampage through them. might be a PITA for you to haul yourself over there during your layover, but it's there!
- we bought a carseat bag from "sunshine kids" - makes it waaaay easier to haul the carseat around the airport.
- if you usually take a duffel/shoulder bag as your carry-on, try a backpack - leaves you with more hands free.

GOOD LUCK!

[Emily]

Thanks everybody! We leave tonight. At your suggestion we are bringing the little laptop for dvds, and I had way too much fun buying small toys and crayons and stickers and snacks (including some treats he would never get at home) and extra sippy cups and spoons and then more of same. We already had a sling, an ergo, and a carseat bag. My husband spent close to 2 hours on the phone making sure we had seats together, and I think we might be near an infant seat. But it's El Al, so we might be the smallest family on board.

As for milk, Anna, he doesn't drink it. I'll bring empty water bottles and fill them up outside the gate.

As for rehearsing, thanks for the reminder. We're on it!

Thank you all for your suggestions. I will report back when we get home!

[Davey's Mom]

Buy the seat! On our outbound flight--only 4 hours Oakland to Chicago--we begged the "extra seat" from the airline. There was only 1 spare seat on the plane, which Southwest did give us. But if they hadn't, and if he hadn't been strapped safely in his infant seat, when we hit Nasty turbulence over the Rockies my 11 week old would have been in serious hurt. We learned our lesson and bought the seat for him for the return flight. BTW many airlines have infant fares that are a bit more expensive than the lowest, but that if the flight isn't full they give a partial or full refund.

Just be aware that not all flight attendants know how to install a seat--one wanted us to install the rear facing infant seat facing forwards. So bring the infant seat/car seat manual as they usually have the FAA directions in them. Or at least my seats have.

Oh,and bring 3 X as many diapers as you think you should bring.

[jen]

i know i'm a little late on this one...but it might be a reference for someone sometime...
so thought i would add...
long flight with a two year old: we wrapped (and re-wrapped) the new and old activities...she could only get one every 1/2 hour or so (as needed - occasionally they would work longer). and she had to unwrap it (by herself) to find out what it her new present was!!!!!! worked for us.
i also second/third/fourth the food/drinks, stickers, and want to add tape. a roll of tape goes a LONG way. and it's not something you would usually let them have.
it's all about survival.

[Accictfew]

The post is a good one. Anyone’s audience is a group of individuals. Nothing can change it.
Nice article written here. I got to know a few more things about the topic