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They've been turned on all day. Try to post them here, please.

Comments

[Moxie]

Testing.

[hedra]

well, I'm not sure there's much to add, but I suppose corellaries are okay?
(I'm sure I spelled that wrong, but I have to run...)

1) a) This doesn't mean that adding solids will help. When they don't
sleep, wait two weeks, and it will all be different. Jumping to 'filling
them up with *solids*' only 'seems' to work (research has backed this up)
because everyone who does it seems to do it when they're desperate, and we
get desperate when things are just getting worse and worse, and they get
worse and worse riiiiight before they get ALL BETTER. Doing nothing new
gets the same results.

2) a) And anything else that happened a lot while they were in utero, too.
You walked a lot, then walk them. You drove a lot, then drive them. You
sang a lot, then sing to them. I had a tape my DH made me that I played
BLASTING on my commute during one pregnancy (2 hr 20 min in the car per
day, ugh!), and dang if that tape won't knock that kid out in no time. Too
bad I didn't think to listen to the same one for each pregnancy...
(swaddling/shushing/etc. are also based on this principle - revert to the
womb, and baby gets all blissed out...)

3) a) And try anything (barring evidence-based risk to health), and try the
things that didn't work two weeks ago because they might work now. Consider
all systems - every sense, and every body system. My kids have had sleep
disrupted (and sleep restored by 'fixing'): Too hot, too cold, sensory
issues (flannel vs percale sheets), reflux, food allergies, thirsty, gassy,
spinal issues (chiropractic), humidity level. I think there are others,
too, I forget. If you find the solution, it will take the entire range down
a notch, even when sick or fussy-staging. Otherwise, it was probably just
going to change anyway...

4) a) And don't tell the outsourced person anything about things that have
worked for you, because they won't work for them, anyway. (My DH and can
not do the same things to get them down - each had to find our own way, and
they're quite different!)

5) a) If your baby still doesn't sleep, don't despair. Do the best you can
for now, and try again later. Sometimes all you can do is hunker down and
get through it. It WILL change. Eventually. And when they're 35, nobody
will care how much they slept when they were x months old.

[Arwen]

Now I know why we had such a rough first few months: we never tried sleeping in hemp pajamas on sheepskins in the bathtub! *smacks forehead*

What worked for us was bouncing. Lots and lots of bouncing. And not just garden-variety bouncing: Olympic-caliber bouncing. Vigorous with very exact rhythms, such that my husband and I were the only ones who could do it effectively. It was oh-so-tiring for many months. The upside was that I lost my baby weight amazingly fast, but I would not say it was worth it.

I cannot tell you how happy I was when the baby finally - around six months old - started nursing to sleep. Now when she fusses to nurse in the middle of the night, I just pop her on and thank my stars that I can comfort her without having to get out of my warm, soft bed. It's all about perspective.

"And all that crap about "forming bad habits" really is just crap." I would really like to get this printed on a plaque or something, because it's so true. Very much borne out by my own experience, too.

I love you more and more every day, Moxie.

[Ireps]

I just KNEW I couldnt have been the only person using that yoga ball to lull her child to sleep...um...I'm still using it 10 months later but not as much. Lord, that ball has traveled everywhere with us and if we ever stop using it it will go fondly into his memory chest

[Patti]

The bouncing. Oh the BOUNCING. I never knew my yoga ball would be so useful. Useful to the tune of 2-8 hours a day for the first few months. Like Arwen, my DH and I are the only ones that could do it, and we both have amazing calves now. Like you said Moxie, if it works, do it. I thank the heavens above for that ball, at least we had something that worked!

[wednesday's girl]

Bedtime routine.

We started around 3 months and it took about a month to start kicking in a little bit and now about 4 months later we are finally at the point where we can shorten it and it still gets DS to settle down and get to sleep quicker.

As for the staying asleep longer.. well we are at 7+ months and still waking up most nights every 2-3 hours but fortunately like Arwen we can now nurse while laying down and it seems almost seemless.

[Julie]

Get a sound machine that plays different sounds of nature (wind, babbling brook, white noise, etc.) When our son was very little, we put on a sound machine and my husband called what happened next the "Skillet Effect" - our son's eyes would instantly roll back in his head and he'd be asleep within seconds, as if he were a cartoon character getting hit in the head with the big skillet. The only things missing were the little birds that fly around after getting knocked out. It supposedly is so similar to the womb that little infants instantly are soothed. At 18 months, we are still using it since we have two large barking dogs and unbelievable karma for attracting all types of door-to-door sales people. Just make sure you give them some opportunities on a regular basis to sleep without it as they get older, or you might be sending them off to college with one.

[Lisa in Canada]

Big ditto on the yoga/pilates ball. THANK GOD we bought it (tip from our doula for labour, which was of no use to me) before DD was born. It's basically the only way DH can get her to sleep. We're almost at the big 1 year mark and we're still bouncing and nursing and bouncing and nursing and cosleeping and nursing with plentiful wakings each night. The bedtime routine seems important in our house too. DH reports that DD falls asleep within a 10 minute window of 7:30 every night. And the three nights mum had to put her to bed because Dad was at a conference - NIGHTMARE!

[kirsten]

Um, I think that people are going to accuse me of trying to kill my baby, but here goes: I let my 5 week old sleep on her tummy. I also have a 21 month old and I was losing my mind because the baby simply will.not.sleep. any other way. We have done a lot of SIDS research and she doesn't have any glaring risk factors and we bought a new mattress and mattress wrap like the New Zealanders use to further minimize risks.

My 21 month old always slept on her back, no problem, but this one just screamed every time we put her down. She even hates her car seat (I know, what kind of freak baby do I have!) Out of desperation I tried the tummy one time and IMMEDIATELY the little darling crapped out for 7 hours and has every night since. Whatever works I guess.

[kelli]

Stroller Derby!

My son has slept more hours in his stroller than he ever did in his bassinet. (Helpful Hint #1: Figure out which movement your child likes best. In the city, I would purposely go over grates, bricks and bumps because my son like the jiggling. In the country, gravel and bumpy lawns worked pretty well. Not that I did that on George Washington's front lawn. NOT ME.)

(Helpful Hint #2: To get a bird to shut up, owners will cover the birdcage with a cloth. It works for a child in a stroller, too! I would drape a blanket from the canopy and it worked like a charm.)

P.S. My son is still not much a back sleeper. We co-slept and he slept quite a bit on his side. I can't blame him because I cannot for the life of sleep on my back.

[Jennifer]

Put on some music and dance--a waltz works well

[rebecca]

I don't want to say this too loudly, but so far (8 weeks) we haven't had much problem getting Senor Queso to sleep. He fusses, certainly, but as long as he gets time on the boob, he will zonk out pretty well. Having said that, the things that work on bad days: the yoga ball, holding on to him tightly while REALLY bouncing. The 5 S's. and when all else fails nursing to sleep and co-sleeping curled up with mommy. (Daddy sleeps a little too well.) Senor Queso also slept in his car seat in the middle of the bed for the first 6 weeks. We do what we need to. And once we get complacent about him sleeping from midnight to 6 he will change again.

[MrsHaley]

I'm so glad there's another mom out there who lets her baby sleep on her tummy. Thanks for admitting our secret, Kirsten!!!My 5-month-old won't nap during the day in any other position. I put her in the pack & play downstairs so I can monitor her closely, but we have NO other risk factors, so I'm not too concerned. I AM concerned about admitting it to others, though. Especially my doctor!!!! But how could anyjustify calling CPS when I have such a happy, well-rested baby?!? Right?!?

[J]

1. The "pscyho chamber". This is what we called our bathroom that has a loud fan. The fan was initially one of the only places my baby would quiet down. After she was born, I spent many hours sitting on the side of the tub at night holding her in my arms. We named our bathhroom the psycho chamber because that is where we would take her when nothing else worked and we would all be pscyhotic (us from having listened to her scream hear head off and not being able to comfort her, and her from just being a very persistent little screamer).

2. Vigorous "jiggling". No soft and tender rocking would do for the first 4 or so months. Sometimes I would look like I was having an epileptic seizure I was jiggling her so much, but darn it, it worked. I would sit in the rocking chair and literally jiggle my body while she was in my arms.

3. Sound machine. Maybe. We are still not sure if the sound of the womb or the ocean helped her stay asleep, but we had to pull out all the stops. Now we have a humidifier without the water so only the fan is running. This is necessary because our house is small and it's hard to get away from the everyday noises like the mailman dropping the mail through the mailslot, trucks roaming down our street, solicitors ringing the doorbell, dogs barking etc. etc.

4. Swaddling. We swaddled until our baby was 5+ months old. We definitely noticed that she slept longer and better when swaddled. Since she is an intense personality, she would have often woken herself up by her arms flailing.

5. Shushing. Oh, the shushing worked wonders. I recently checked with a friend on her shushing rythm, and lo and behold hers was different. Do different babies respond to different shushes? Hmm...
The shushing only worked for a short while though which may be a good thing because I nearly passed out on several occasions from shushing for so long. It gets you out of breath quickly!

6. Now that our baby is 8 months old and she can easily roll onto her back, we place her on her stomach for sleep. However, perhaps because she was swaddled for so long, she often prefers to sleep on her back, so she rolls herself onto her back after a little bit. For naps though, placing her on her stomach and patting her back seems to be the ticket. Otherwise she just doesn't nap. Yeey.

7. Holding her in my arms while she sleeps. For.many.many.hours.on.many.many.days.

[Another Erin]

"anything else that happened a lot while they were in utero"

And this, my friends, is why you should not run 35 miles/week when pregnant. Because post-pregnancy you'll be walking to Baltimore and back every time you want the baby to sleep, but in your little apartment. Even if you are secretly feeling rather proud of yourself and enjoying the only time in your life people will ever compare you to Paula Foster.

[Fahmi]

Ditto on the bedtime routine. We started establishing a bedtime routine at about 6 weeks and by three months, it was so entrenched that starting the routine got him yawning and ready to go to bed.

Whenever we are away and he is fighting naps because the world is so exciting, I've found total darkness helps. I would sit on the floor cross-legged in a dark room - like a closet - and just lay him down. Pass out in two seconds. I've tried this twice, both times after trying soothing, shushing, rocking, walking. So worn out and frustrated, I go hide in the closet to cry, and find that the darkness made him go to sleep.

[Jennifer]

Ok, just to add to the stroller suggestion, my daughter was born in the winter, so we couldn't take her out strolling at night, which was her fussy period. My husband rigged the stroller up in the house with rubber bands and pullies so that we could push her back and forth for hours while sitting. It was great, because it gets really tiring pushing her up and down the living room! It pays sometimes to marry an engineer :)

[jessica]

Benadryl.

(joking)

[Angela]

Our baby apparently takes after mom. He needs routine so far... Bath by dad, feeding from Mommy, and two read throughs of Goodnight moon and he's in his basinette (admitted with a pacifier), and asleep in less than 10-20 minutes without a sound. Sstarted this about a month ago at 6 weeks. I don't like to deviate from it, as he gets fussy at around 7:30 and if we don't start the routine he gets even more agitated...

[enu]

On the issue of consequences of words:
"Am I overthinking this?"

Yes, I think so. You can get so paralyzed by theories that you can't ever do (in this case, say) anything because you are worried you will do/say the wrong thing. It's easier to be precise in one's written language, but spoken language is much harder to craft with perfection in mind. I got so cowed by all the parenting books/magazines/advice I got that I felt I could never, ever manage to do anything right for my children. Who needs that cr*p. Obviously, you want to avoid pulling an Alec Baldwin, but otherwise I think there's a lot of leeway without doing grave harm. I like to stay somewhere in the comfortable zone between Alec Baldwin and Sister Theresa (or her not-dead, mothering equivalent!)

[Jennifer]

I agree with Enu above on the overthinking it...but there is one exception that I'm having to work really hard on: making comments about my own weight. I had eating issues in highschool and college and really only reached and sustained a healthy body weight by the time I was almost 30 (I'm 38 now)...but I never really lost that habit of saying "Do I look fat?" Or "I'm so fat in this" etc. If I don't want my daughter to go through years of miserable body image like I did, I need to stop making these kinds of remarks! Fortunately my mom and my husband have both already been on me about this so I've made a lot of progress. Hopefully healthy for both my daughter and myself.

[Shelley]

My mother still tells this story: when I was 4 or so, she spilled a gallon of milk on the kitchen table. Frustrated and upset, she scrambled to clean up the mess, saying "I am so stupid!" I said, "Mommy, you're not stupid. You did a stupid thing, but YOU'RE not stupid." She cried. I have no first-hand memory of this incident, but now that I'm a mom myself I totally get it, and why this was so important to her (and why she retells this anecdote so often).

I tend to use the word "silly" to describe myself if I do something like forget the car keys, and try to back it up with something like, "everybody makes mistakes sometimes." Not always possible in a momen

[pnuts mama]

sorry moxie, found a place i could post this!

re: words

i don't mind the word naughty as much as i mind the word "bad", although i wouldn't ever ascribe any behavior that an infant does as either- babies are just pure act, doing what they do with no ulterior motive. when i get frustrated with normal behavior, that's my issue- and it takes me forever sometimes to remember that and adjust. and i would never call the kid either word, rather try my v. best to remember to describe their behavior instead. but that is so very hard in the moment sometimes! especially in the opposite scenario, when your kid does something right or well and you say, "oh, what a good girl!" instead of "oh, what a good thing you just did!" i certainly do remember being a kid and internalizing a great deal of negative feelings about myself based on what i heard, so this is something i try and pay extra attention to.

and ITA about watching what we say around the kids- no more negative self talk and no more snarking on others is our new mantra. i just don't want my kid mirroring the things i personally should have cleaned up years ago. she deserves better than that and there is no time like the present to end that cycle of crazy.

on a related note, i caught myself needing some discipline advice with 21 month old today- she was walking with me out of a public building and then stopped- and wouldn't come til i picked her up and (forced) carried her out. i know she is still small, and i used the "it's not safe to not stay with mommy" line (as well as a few other ways), but she wasn't having any of it. i know the will of a toddler is not that they are intentionally trying to be "naughty" (and believe me, in hindsight, i can see where it is my own control issues coming into play) but there are times when she just has to do what i say, and i just don't know how to get that through to her sometimes. so basically, how do i get it through to my kid that she has to do ___ without falling into the trap of saying "you're being bad if you don't!" sigh.

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[Basketball Sneakers]

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Hugs,

[Pipe]

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[Ahmed]

A query about teeth or grinder rnlmacepeets?I had to get rid of my lower right last grinder years back and recently the one above it. Can i have them replaced now? or must it be done at the time of extraction? i'm feeling a bit empty in the mouth and incomplete so i wish to have them replaced is that possible?

[Todomechupaunhuevo]

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[craftmatic adjustable beds]

Swaddle swaddle swaddle! There is NO way either of my kids would have slept for more than 30 minutes in a row without swaddling. They waved their arms around, would startle, and awaken without fail. This was an ongoing issue with each until 5 months or so. Sleeping on their stomachs (or held) also solved the issue, but I didn't feel comfortable with this given SIDS risks, etc.

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