Top 5 Ways To Get Your Baby To Fall Asleep

This is a special post written for proBlogger's Top 5 Group Writing Project. (Sssh. What they don't know is that you're all going to give your serious or joking tips, too, so it'll end up being way more than 5.)

Top 5 Ways To Get Your Baby to Fall Asleep

1. Fill your baby's stomach. Nurse or bottle-feed your baby to sleep. It's what babies are hard-wired to do, after all. All this "your baby has to play after eating" stuff was written by someone with way too much time on their hands, and no non-sleeping baby to deal with.

2. Rock your baby to sleep. Or stick them in the carseat or stroller and go for a ride. Try the swing, or a sling, or the bouncy seat. Or that trick of putting the baby in a carseat on top of the running clothes dryer. Motion often works to soothe a baby to sleep, so it's definitely worth a try. If it doesn't work, at least now your clothes are dry.

3. Try what you think won't work. If your baby isn't responding to feeding or rocking, they might be the kind of kid who releases tension by crying a little. See what happens if you walk out of the room for 5 minutes. If your baby cries harder and louder, you've got a child who gains tension by crying, and you should go comfort the child to sleep (and don't try the walking out of the room trick again if you value your sanity). If your baby starts to calm down or the crying decreases in intensity (or your baby is asleep!), your baby might need to cry a little to tap off the tension of the day and relax enough to sleep. Counterintuitive, isn't it?

4. Outsource it. Your mother-in-law knows how to get your baby to sleep, and isn't afraid to tell you. Why not take her up on her unsolicited advice and give her a turn getting the baby to sleep? You can go out and get Jello shots an ice cream cone while she struggles with your howler monkey. Whether she gets the baby to sleep or not, you win either way.

5. By Any Means Necessary. If your baby gets sleep, then you get sleep, so do what you have to do. If everyone has to sleep in the same bed, do it. If the baby has to sleep alone down a long hallway, fine. If you all have to sleep together in the bathtub on a sheepskin in hemp pajamas, more power to you. In a tent, on the couch, with the Food Network on in the background, with the baby's head smushed under your chin (forgot about that, didn't you?), in a recliner, with a pacifier, hanging on to the dog's tail, whatever. If it works, it's fair game. And all that crap about "forming bad habits" really is just crap. Baby's sleep changes so often anyway that if it works now it won't work in three months, and you can "fix" it then anyway.

Anyone else want to play?

Comments

[Moxie]

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[hedra]

well, I'm not sure there's much to add, but I suppose corellaries are okay?
(I'm sure I spelled that wrong, but I have to run...)

1) a) This doesn't mean that adding solids will help. When they don't
sleep, wait two weeks, and it will all be different. Jumping to 'filling
them up with *solids*' only 'seems' to work (research has backed this up)
because everyone who does it seems to do it when they're desperate, and we
get desperate when things are just getting worse and worse, and they get
worse and worse riiiiight before they get ALL BETTER. Doing nothing new
gets the same results.

2) a) And anything else that happened a lot while they were in utero, too.
You walked a lot, then walk them. You drove a lot, then drive them. You
sang a lot, then sing to them. I had a tape my DH made me that I played
BLASTING on my commute during one pregnancy (2 hr 20 min in the car per
day, ugh!), and dang if that tape won't knock that kid out in no time. Too
bad I didn't think to listen to the same one for each pregnancy...
(swaddling/shushing/etc. are also based on this principle - revert to the
womb, and baby gets all blissed out...)

3) a) And try anything (barring evidence-based risk to health), and try the
things that didn't work two weeks ago because they might work now. Consider
all systems - every sense, and every body system. My kids have had sleep
disrupted (and sleep restored by 'fixing'): Too hot, too cold, sensory
issues (flannel vs percale sheets), reflux, food allergies, thirsty, gassy,
spinal issues (chiropractic), humidity level. I think there are others,
too, I forget. If you find the solution, it will take the entire range down
a notch, even when sick or fussy-staging. Otherwise, it was probably just
going to change anyway...

4) a) And don't tell the outsourced person anything about things that have
worked for you, because they won't work for them, anyway. (My DH and can
not do the same things to get them down - each had to find our own way, and
they're quite different!)

5) a) If your baby still doesn't sleep, don't despair. Do the best you can
for now, and try again later. Sometimes all you can do is hunker down and
get through it. It WILL change. Eventually. And when they're 35, nobody
will care how much they slept when they were x months old.

[Arwen]

Now I know why we had such a rough first few months: we never tried sleeping in hemp pajamas on sheepskins in the bathtub! *smacks forehead*

What worked for us was bouncing. Lots and lots of bouncing. And not just garden-variety bouncing: Olympic-caliber bouncing. Vigorous with very exact rhythms, such that my husband and I were the only ones who could do it effectively. It was oh-so-tiring for many months. The upside was that I lost my baby weight amazingly fast, but I would not say it was worth it.

I cannot tell you how happy I was when the baby finally - around six months old - started nursing to sleep. Now when she fusses to nurse in the middle of the night, I just pop her on and thank my stars that I can comfort her without having to get out of my warm, soft bed. It's all about perspective.

"And all that crap about "forming bad habits" really is just crap." I would really like to get this printed on a plaque or something, because it's so true. Very much borne out by my own experience, too.

I love you more and more every day, Moxie.

[lreps]

I just KNEW I couldnt have been the only person using that yoga ball to lull her child to sleep...um...I'm still using it 10 months later but not as much. Lord, that ball has traveled everywhere with us and if we ever stop using it it will go fondly into his memory chest

[Patti]

The bouncing. Oh the BOUNCING. I never knew my yoga ball would be so useful. Useful to the tune of 2-8 hours a day for the first few months. Like Arwen, my DH and I are the only ones that could do it, and we both have amazing calves now. Like you said Moxie, if it works, do it. I thank the heavens above for that ball, at least we had something that worked!

[susan]

And dang the folks who frown at the notion that you're sleeping in a separate room from your spouse with the baby nestled into the cradle you've made our of your arm and chest so that you learn to sleep immobile but only for the 2-3 hour stretches that baby sleeps ... sigh ... it gets better, really it does.

I also try not to judge those that do CIO, sometimes I wish I could too.

Hey, anyone tried to get their babe to sleep in a QUIET hybrid??? bet it doesn't work as well.

[wednesday's girl]

Bedtime routine.

We started around 3 months and it took about a month to start kicking in a little bit and now about 4 months later we are finally at the point where we can shorten it and it still gets DS to settle down and get to sleep quicker.

As for the staying asleep longer.. well we are at 7+ months and still waking up most nights every 2-3 hours but fortunately like Arwen we can now nurse while laying down and it seems almost seemless.

[Julie]

Get a sound machine that plays different sounds of nature (wind, babbling brook, white noise, etc.) When our son was very little, we put on a sound machine and my husband called what happened next the "Skillet Effect" - our son's eyes would instantly roll back in his head and he'd be asleep within seconds, as if he were a cartoon character getting hit in the head with the big skillet. The only things missing were the little birds that fly around after getting knocked out. It supposedly is so similar to the womb that little infants instantly are soothed. At 18 months, we are still using it since we have two large barking dogs and unbelievable karma for attracting all types of door-to-door sales people. Just make sure you give them some opportunities on a regular basis to sleep without it as they get older, or you might be sending them off to college with one.

[Lisa in Canada]

Big ditto on the yoga/pilates ball. THANK GOD we bought it (tip from our doula for labour, which was of no use to me) before DD was born. It's basically the only way DH can get her to sleep. We're almost at the big 1 year mark and we're still bouncing and nursing and bouncing and nursing and cosleeping and nursing with plentiful wakings each night. The bedtime routine seems important in our house too. DH reports that DD falls asleep within a 10 minute window of 7:30 every night. And the three nights mum had to put her to bed because Dad was at a conference - NIGHTMARE!

[kirsten]

Um, I think that people are going to accuse me of trying to kill my baby, but here goes: I let my 5 week old sleep on her tummy. I also have a 21 month old and I was losing my mind because the baby simply will.not.sleep. any other way. We have done a lot of SIDS research and she doesn't have any glaring risk factors and we bought a new mattress and mattress wrap like the New Zealanders use to further minimize risks.

My 21 month old always slept on her back, no problem, but this one just screamed every time we put her down. She even hates her car seat (I know, what kind of freak baby do I have!) Out of desperation I tried the tummy one time and IMMEDIATELY the little darling crapped out for 7 hours and has every night since. Whatever works I guess.

[kelli]

Stroller Derby!

My son has slept more hours in his stroller than he ever did in his bassinet. (Helpful Hint #1: Figure out which movement your child likes best. In the city, I would purposely go over grates, bricks and bumps because my son like the jiggling. In the country, gravel and bumpy lawns worked pretty well. Not that I did that on George Washington's front lawn. NOT ME.)

(Helpful Hint #2: To get a bird to shut up, owners will cover the birdcage with a cloth. It works for a child in a stroller, too! I would drape a blanket from the canopy and it worked like a charm.)

P.S. My son is still not much a back sleeper. We co-slept and he slept quite a bit on his side. I can't blame him because I cannot for the life of sleep on my back.

[Jennifer]

Put on some music and dance--a waltz works well

[rebecca]

I don't want to say this too loudly, but so far (8 weeks) we haven't had much problem getting Senor Queso to sleep. He fusses, certainly, but as long as he gets time on the boob, he will zonk out pretty well. Having said that, the things that work on bad days: the yoga ball, holding on to him tightly while REALLY bouncing. The 5 S's. and when all else fails nursing to sleep and co-sleeping curled up with mommy. (Daddy sleeps a little too well.) Senor Queso also slept in his car seat in the middle of the bed for the first 6 weeks. We do what we need to. And once we get complacent about him sleeping from midnight to 6 he will change again.

[MrsHaley]

I'm so glad there's another mom out there who lets her baby sleep on her tummy. Thanks for admitting our secret, Kirsten!!!My 5-month-old won't nap during the day in any other position. I put her in the pack & play downstairs so I can monitor her closely, but we have NO other risk factors, so I'm not too concerned. I AM concerned about admitting it to others, though. Especially my doctor!!!! But how could anyjustify calling CPS when I have such a happy, well-rested baby?!? Right?!?

[J]

1. The "pscyho chamber". This is what we called our bathroom that has a loud fan. The fan was initially one of the only places my baby would quiet down. After she was born, I spent many hours sitting on the side of the tub at night holding her in my arms. We named our bathhroom the psycho chamber because that is where we would take her when nothing else worked and we would all be pscyhotic (us from having listened to her scream hear head off and not being able to comfort her, and her from just being a very persistent little screamer).

2. Vigorous "jiggling". No soft and tender rocking would do for the first 4 or so months. Sometimes I would look like I was having an epileptic seizure I was jiggling her so much, but darn it, it worked. I would sit in the rocking chair and literally jiggle my body while she was in my arms.

3. Sound machine. Maybe. We are still not sure if the sound of the womb or the ocean helped her stay asleep, but we had to pull out all the stops. Now we have a humidifier without the water so only the fan is running. This is necessary because our house is small and it's hard to get away from the everyday noises like the mailman dropping the mail through the mailslot, trucks roaming down our street, solicitors ringing the doorbell, dogs barking etc. etc.

4. Swaddling. We swaddled until our baby was 5+ months old. We definitely noticed that she slept longer and better when swaddled. Since she is an intense personality, she would have often woken herself up by her arms flailing.

5. Shushing. Oh, the shushing worked wonders. I recently checked with a friend on her shushing rythm, and lo and behold hers was different. Do different babies respond to different shushes? Hmm...
The shushing only worked for a short while though which may be a good thing because I nearly passed out on several occasions from shushing for so long. It gets you out of breath quickly!

6. Now that our baby is 8 months old and she can easily roll onto her back, we place her on her stomach for sleep. However, perhaps because she was swaddled for so long, she often prefers to sleep on her back, so she rolls herself onto her back after a little bit. For naps though, placing her on her stomach and patting her back seems to be the ticket. Otherwise she just doesn't nap. Yeey.

7. Holding her in my arms while she sleeps. For.many.many.hours.on.many.many.days.

[Another Erin]

"anything else that happened a lot while they were in utero"

And this, my friends, is why you should not run 35 miles/week when pregnant. Because post-pregnancy you'll be walking to Baltimore and back every time you want the baby to sleep, but in your little apartment. Even if you are secretly feeling rather proud of yourself and enjoying the only time in your life people will ever compare you to Paula Foster.

[Fahmi]

Ditto on the bedtime routine. We started establishing a bedtime routine at about 6 weeks and by three months, it was so entrenched that starting the routine got him yawning and ready to go to bed.

Whenever we are away and he is fighting naps because the world is so exciting, I've found total darkness helps. I would sit on the floor cross-legged in a dark room - like a closet - and just lay him down. Pass out in two seconds. I've tried this twice, both times after trying soothing, shushing, rocking, walking. So worn out and frustrated, I go hide in the closet to cry, and find that the darkness made him go to sleep.

[Jennifer]

Ok, just to add to the stroller suggestion, my daughter was born in the winter, so we couldn't take her out strolling at night, which was her fussy period. My husband rigged the stroller up in the house with rubber bands and pullies so that we could push her back and forth for hours while sitting. It was great, because it gets really tiring pushing her up and down the living room! It pays sometimes to marry an engineer :)

[electriclady]

Coming in late on this one, but...Nine Inch Nails. Seriously. From the time we came home from the hospital, my husband has been playing our daughter all kinds of music, and nothing gets her to stop crying faster, or puts her to sleep better, than hard rock music. Anything with a strong beat works--we've gone through David Bowie, Foo Fighters, Garbage, Stevie Wonder, White Stripes, even Tori Amos--but for some reason Nine Inch Nails works best of all. I think it's the same principle as white noise or shushing--the beat and noise helps her shut out other stimuli--but it's more fun for Mom and Dad. :)

[Anne]

Nothing to add for myself and my little one, everyone has mentioned all the stuff we tried. But I wanted to say I have a friend who's little girl LOVES to hang upside down and when tired and held this way will go right to sleep. Must be all the blood rushing to her head. So yeah whatever works.

[KTed]

My top 5 ways to get a baby to sleep are to:
1. Read the first EASY baby whisperer book by Tracy Hogg.
2. Reread the EASY baby whisperer book.
3. Read the 2nd Tracy Hogg Baby Whisperer book that goes through toddlers.
4. For babies under 3 months, watch the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD and see how miracles happen. Best if combined with use of the Miracle Blanket (aka baby straightjacket).
5. If all else fails, combine Baby Whisperer, (let them cry, but with you in the room),advice with Ferber's newer advice (leave them to cry, but not for long long periods).

[heather]

The bedtime routine definitely helped. I also find that when all else fails, turn down the radio, turn out the lights, lie down next to my daughter, and nurse her to sleep. Something about the lights off and me lying next to her really does it. Maybe she senses thatI;m not kidding, it really is bedtime?!

[sue]

Just a general comment: I swear, reading this site saves my sanity. I just went through a bad MIL patch (too much judgement) and your information, advice and patience (on all topics) are EXACTLY what I need. You relieve the stress and I hope you realize what an absolute gift that is.

I raise my glass to you, an all-too-rare voice of common sense ... thank you!! (And yes, I can raise my glass because I'm free of child care duties at the moment, I'm not breastfeeding and it's happy hour.)

[cas]

Tummy sleeper here too. You think 5 mos. is shocking? We started this at 3 mos. when he started rolling over.

"Finally!," I thought.

I knew he was calmer on his tummy all along, but I was trying to do the prescribed thing.

We have a routine too. Bath, book, nurse (if he wants), rock or bounce a little. If he stops fussing, he gets to fall asleep anytime during this cycle. If he's going to be fussy no matter what, we put him in his bed to fuss -- patty him and shushing -- usually 6-15 minutes worst case and he's out.

Still wakes up 2-3 times a night. But it is much better than being slept on all night. Hope it sticks.

[Carol]

aaahhh nice to see no smugness, just mums helping out mums! My dauhter slept throught from 9-13 weeks... since then waking more and more each night. She's 17 weeks and last night was the worst so far!!! Up almost evry hour. I hope I won't have to resort to CIO :(

[Sandy]

I just loved finding this post after searching "eliminate night nursings" and feeling so awful...I don't know about anyone else, but since my post partum periods have returned at 14 mths, I always get weird about sleep, nursing, habits, etc. and start furiously searching the web for advice. Since finding this blog I have chilled out, thank you. What will be, will be. I feel so much better.

[coach outelt factory]

What you said is so correct,I support you.Your article is so refreshing,I really like it.Have a goog time!I have just finished the article.It is the first time for me to read the whole post carefully

[Computer Rentals]

At the begining it was really difficult to sleep and the method THat worked better for me was wrapping him in the blanket, not to tie, but enough to feel as if someone were hugging him..

[Computer Rentals]

I was watching a tv program and saw the way I used to get my 28 month son to fall asleep...

I used to wrap him with the blanket as my mom tought me... and a few days I was watching Home & Health channel and a woman was giving that tip...