Q&A: post-partum insomnia and irrational fears

Continuing with the theme of admitting how hard this can be sometimes...

Wendy writes:

"I've developed insomnia. 8 month old baby wakes up only 1x per night now (hooray) sometime between 2-5 am. I breastfeed, he goes back to sleep and I lay awake for a couple of hours. I've also lost my ability to nap. Overtired? PPD?

Also, since the baby was born, I've become afraid to fly (plane crash), afraid to drive (car crash), afraid to walk around the block (car crashing into the stroller), afraid of sitting in my house (tree falling over and crushing us), afraid to go into the bank (bank holdup)....I have not become a shut-in but find myself preoccupied with worst case scenarios."

I think this is post-partum anxiety, which is technically different from PPD, but I think is also caused by a complex interaction of factors, including hormones.

I am going to hazard a guess that a lot of us have suffered from some mild form of insomnia after having babies. Which is an unbelievable pisser*, because if the baby is actually asleep, it's cruel that we aren't, too. I've definitely gone through periods of this, even when I was not depressed in any other way. And it seemed to ebb and flow with my hormones and exercise and nutritional intake.

I also noticed (and why do I feel still a little scared to admit this, even now?) that I had preoccupations and almost visions of something bad happening for the first few months with both my kids. With my older one, I was constantly worried that a car would jump the sidewalk and hit the stroller and kill him. Sometimes I couldn't get the thought out of my head, and I'd lie awake at night worried about it. Then when I had the second baby, the fear was that somehow my older one would accidentally snap the baby's spinal cord and leave him paralyzed. I could not shake that fear for a good 4-5 weeks, starting about 2 weeks after the baby was born. I'd be sitting with them both, playing with the older one and holding the baby, seeing it happen in my mind as if it was a memory instead of some cruel mind trick.

The one good thing was that with the second one I didn't worry that there was something wrong with me, and I have the blog world to thank for that. By that time I'd read enough "shameful confessions" online to know that there are things we're afraid to admit, but that a lot of us are dealing with. Just because I hadn't heard other women joking around about how afraid they were of really unlikely things in the first few months didn't mean tons of us didn't deal with it.

But back to Wendy's problem: Just because lots of us have dealt with the insomnia and ultra-worry doesn't mean that you should have to suffer through it. I think that taking Omega 3 supplements (2,000-3,000 mg a day of fish oil or flax seed oil**), getting 20-30 minutes a day of exercise, and getting 10-15 minutes a day of sunshine will probably fix you up in about a week or two. At least to the point that you can catch your breath and figure out what else you need that can ease your load and help you start to reach out to get some help.

You may find that you need counseling and/or anti-depressants, but I'd rather see you do the Omega 3s and exercise and sunshine first, because if your body's a little off-kilter you should fix that first before going on meds so they'll be even more effective (and just so your body doesn't get depleted). I'd give them a few weeks to kick in, then call your doctor if things aren't significantly better. (Mention "crippling insomnia" and "persistent worries" to get them to take you seriously.)

Here's something really interesting I read in Erica Lyon's The Big Book of Birth (I have a review copy, so I don't know if my page number would be helpful, but it's in the last paragraph of the "Massage" section in Chapter 4):

a recent study showed that if a partner massaged a new mother for fifteen minutes a day it is as effective (!) as medication for moderate postpartum depression.

I think it's probably a combination of feeling taken care of by someone else and the way massage helps your body regulate itself (the same way getting regular massages helps you fight off colds better in the winter). But if you have a partner or friend who would be willing to massage you for 15 minutes every day, it might help regulate your system, too.

So. Yeah. It's a problem, but you're not a freak because it's not that unusual (unfortunately), and it's treatable.

Anyone want to share? Bizarre fears you had when your babies were little? The most sobbingly cruel episode of "I finally got this child to sleep and now I can't fall asleep myself" you can remember? What you're wearing today? (It's supposed to be gorgeous and sunny here in NYC on Monday, so I'll probably be wearing a red-and-white patterned wrap dress and red slingbacks to work.)

 

* By the North American phrase "pissed off," meaning angry, not "pissed" meaning drunk, which would undoubtedly be more pleasant.

** Hey, I still have no idea what the deal is with flax seed oil, whether it's completely safe for all of us, or not so great for fetuses but fine for post-partum moms, or whatever. I'm still tempting fate by taking it, but know that I'm not a doctor or nutritionist and am not recommending it specifically so take it at your own risk.

Comments

[trish]

I had insomnia for months on end and I needed increasing amounts of exercise to sleep. It got to the point where I was walking 15km a day just to make sure that I'd get a good night's sleep (amid the night nursings). I wish I'd heard that this was likely to be PND then - my doctors were not helpful and told me that "when you're tired, you'll sleep". I don't think they understood how permanently tired I was....

[Jen]

In response to the lady that mentioned she developed insomnia when her little one was 8 months...wow...talk about timing. I have also developed insomnia in the past two weeks and my baby is almost 8 months old (sleeps through the night no probs...just not mom). Along with the insomnia comes night sweats something horrible and heart palpitations. I am almost certain this is hormonal as I am no longer breast feeding, have had my period three times. Right now, 15 days after having my period, I can feel my uterus almost contracting and/or cramping. Has anyone had this? I went to the health food store and they say an imbalance of estrogren and progesterone are most likely the case however to get my thyroid checked out would be wise.
I also went through some insomnia when my baby weaned himself from me at 3 months. I took chinese herbs to balance out my ying and yang however that doesn't seem to be cutting the mustard this time around. HELP...anyone experiencing any of this????
As for Omega 3's: I have been taking 3-6-9 since becoming pregnant, am a runner,a nd eat well...so exercise and sunshine aren't helping this camper out!!!
Jen

[B]

Insomnia has been a major problem for me. It started while I was pregnant. I would be up for several hours each night. Not really stressed or anxious, just awake. After the birth of my daughter, she was up every few hours for the first 6 weeks or so, so I wasn't sleeping anyway. Once she started to sleep better, I thought I would too. Her noises kept me up so at 8 weeks we moved her into her own room. My sleep actually worsened after that. I could not sleep during the day at all, and I got only 2-3 hours at night. I would lay awake sure that I could hear her crying. I would go on walks every day to try to get exercise and soothe my daughter. I lost alot of weight very quickly, and still no sleep. Tried Benadryl, Calm's Forte, Valerian, with only minimal results. I was so emotional it was difficult to be in social situations because I would just fall apart.
My daughter is almost a year now. In the time between then and now I have been to my MD for zooloft, which helped alot. But I needed to get up to 100 mg for some relief. I took Klonopin at bedtime .5 mg for the last 6 months or so and this really helped. However, it is addictive and I am currently weaning very slowly to try to get off it because it is not as helpful as it used to be and I don't really want to increase the dose. Through all this I am still breastfeeding.
I now get about 5-6 hours most nights and occasionally my body will let me take a nap. I still find sleep to be one of the most frustrating things I have ever had to deal with. I never feel rested. Often I try to sleep and feel so comfortable and relaxed, but my body will not let me sleep.
I would like to wean my daughter over the next few months, and I am hoping that my hormones will change and allow me some peace. I will have more medication options at that point as well.
I really appreciate being able to read these blogs, when this was first happening to me I felt so alone. I expected post partum depression, but anxiety and insomnia? People do not really talk about that.

[Sam]

It's so nice to read to I am not alone in this world with my insomnia. My baby is 6 weeks old and the first few weeks were fine. I had a C-section so I believe that the pain meds were actually helping me fall back to sleeep eventhough she woke up every 2 hours; either that or the exhaustion. But as of last week I am unable to sleep, I mean 0 hours. After 2 sleepless nigths I was forced to go to the Urgent Care and was prescribed Ambien. I took it for 3 nights and did not last night, now I am back to 0 sleep. Why is this happening? I don't feel depressed, I am quite happy but tired and frustrated. I dread nights now and think about not being able to sleep all day long. What can I do? I just want to sleep when my baby is.
Thank you everyone!

[tomomornottomom]

Is it normal to have these kind of anxieties (like I've had the knife one) when i don't even have a child yet? I am so terrified of ppd and stories like andrea yates, that i am questioning whether or not it is a good idea for me to try for a child. How often are these anxieties brought to fruition? Are they just mind tricks or are they a premonition of something catostrophic?

[Christine]

I've had some pretty awful images as a new mom. For some reason every time I sat down on my parent's couch I imagined my daughter's head smacking into the coffee table. I was afraid to tell anyone but now I know it's okay.

I also once had a dream that I was in the pool holding my daughter and my husband and I were arguing. Then somehow my daughter flew out of my arms into the water and I kept on trying to pick her up and save her but I couldn't.

[Christine]

I also forgot to mention how I used to watch the Steve Wilkos show every day. If you haven't seen it there are a lot of people on there who abuse their children in some way. I used to watch it and start crying hysterically to the point where my husband banned me from watching it.

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[Melina]

I've had insomnia for most of my daughter's first year -- largely because of my thyroid. Since thyroid disorders are pretty common post-partum, it might make sense to have yours checked if you can't sleep.

[Robb]

Though I may be both a male (with abit less of a natural bond with children than you lucky women) and childless (i'm only 19), I think alot of the fears and panics are just the minds way of over-compensating for the frality of newborns in particular, preparing for the worse is best, it keeps you prepared, however unlikely the event of something actully happening things like; making you hold your child that little bit stronger(in case of an unexpected squirm for freedom), being alot more wary around stairs(considering how much you use them and the trip hazard when carrying a child), being more wary of traffic condtions.

it is likely just a throw back to caveman level instinct, though this doubtless makes your situations much easier, take solice in the fact that they aren't irrational...just overblown.

(I hope also that I havn't come across as some smart-ass kid with free internet time, the only reason i'm on here is for a friend who's suffering exactly the same as you lasses, and your words have been of great help thanks.)

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I'm so relieved to read this, because since my son was born (now almost 4 months old), I've been having these terrible visions also. It freaks me out, and I'd been asking other moms if this was just part of becoming a mom. You know, always envisioning the worst case scenario. Mine keeps being tripping down the stairs and crushing my son, or him falling off our bed and slamming his head into the corner of our nightstand. Also, someone breaking in and I have to find a way to get us both out, and I elaborately construct plans to save us both.

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I know what you mean, my wife and I have a 7 months baby, and both of us are developing insomnia, we are just getting use to it, it is hard, but it is a small price for having a beautiful baby in our life.

[Tamie]

Wow, I'm a lot less crazy than I thought! Thanks everyone, for sharing. I had similar, vivid "day mares" or visions after my son was born in 2007, and again after a miscarriage in 2009.

Next time I'll try taking lots of Flax seed oil (I'd rather stay vegan if I can get away with it - so no fish oil.)

If I had one of these visions I'd usually yell at myself (aloud if alone, in my head otherwise) to stop beating myself up. I've also tried something from the book "Feeling Good" (Dr. David Burns - an easy name to remember for any Talking Heads fans.) I put an elastic band on my wrist and every time I had one of these morbid, vivid visions, I'd imagine a big red stop sign, say stop out loud, pull back the elastic and let it hit the inside of my wrist full force.

The visions might be a good thing if they made me more vigilant - maybe they stimulate enough adrenaline to keep me alert despite sleep deprivation - but I think I had an excessive number of them, and they were just making me a nervous wreck.

I actually slept sitting up with my son on my chest, so I could hear him breathing, for the first few months.