Q&A: working from home with a tiny baby

Melanie writes:

"I've got a quick question for work from home mothers out there. I'm due February 14th (my first!) and plan on starting my maternity leave on February 12th. One of the great things about living here in The Bahamas is that I get 12 weeks paid maternity leave so I won't be returning to work until May 7th. I have the option of working from home full time after that but part of my job entails placing answering phone calls (phone calls would be forwarded to me and I would route them back to the office). I also have the option of taking a pay cut and doing only paperwork. Is it feasible to even think about answering office phone calls with a new baby in the house?"

Hmm. From my experience, the problem with answering phone calls is that you can't count on a baby being quiet. If you knew the baby would nap all day (not) or the baby would nurse all day (not) or would be a baby who just never cries (not) you could reasonable answer phone calls. But unless you have a super-fast trigger finger on the "mute" button, the people on the other end of the phone are going to hear crying.

The real problem, though, is that you can't do any job that doesn't let you shift your own workload. When you baby needs to be changed, or rocked down for a nap, or to eat, you can't just let the baby wait (and cry heartbreakingly) while you do your job. You have to have a job that you can put on hold for 5 minutes or 30 minutes while you tend to your baby.

This is why working from home is so hard. (Well, one reason.) If you had the option of having full-time childcare, I think you could answer the phones from home. Otherwise, I think you'd be stressed out and not doing even a decent job of either working or mothering by the second day, and it woudn't necessarily get any better.

Are there any work-at-home moms out there who want to give opinions corroborating or contradicting my advice?

Comments

[Meira]

Yeah, I agree with Moxie -- the biggest issue I see is that if you are in the middle of a diaper change or nursing and can't drop everything to get to the phone.
On the other hand, even if there werent' a baby to take care of, there would be times when you had to go to the bathroom or whatever and possibly miss a call. Figure out a work-around for that and the baby sounds in the background, and you shoould be set for a while.

[Fahmi]

I am a journalist, so I have to make phone calls pretty often - interviewing people, calling my editor, that sort of thing. I pretty much started every phone call with a "There's a small baby here, so you might hear him."

I also used my cellphone with the handsfree set, so I always had my two hands free. So I would be talking to people while changing a diaper, or nursing. The kid loved hearing me talk. I would make funny faces as he got older.

It's not easy, but it can work. However if you are in a receptionist/call center/customer service profession, that might be a problem.

[Cat, Galloping]

yup, i work from home and there's no way i could do it without full time child care in my home, even when the kiddo was younger. i need to answer the phone when i need to answer the phone and the baby needed to be held when the baby needed to be held (in his case, from 7am to 7pm straight, but sometimes i miss all that cuddling!)

the paperwork could work, though, but i'd still recommend having at least a babysitter or mother's helper for a few hours/day because otherwise every single moment that the baby is sleeping you're going to have to dedicate to work, and then what about your own sleep, general rest, or other things you need to do around the house?

[Summer]

I run a business with my husband, and when our son was born, we were running it out of our house. The business involves taking a lot of calls from clients, and since we were trying to maintain the facade of being a bigger company with a fancy downtown office, there just wasn't any way that I could have my infant son in the office while he was awake. I'd thought, before he was born, that I could just sit at my desk all day with him happily sleeping or nursing in the sling... it didn't work out that way.

If you're dealing with clients who KNOW you are at home and have a baby, I think you could make it work, but if you're supposed to sound very professional and your clients think you're in a real office, it wouldn't.

[mayberry]

I am a nearly full-time WAHM and I strongly believe that child care is essential, as Cat notes. Depending on how "professional" you need to be when answering the phone (see Fahmi's comment), you may be able to make it work without help for a short time. Eventually, though, it becomes way too difficult to balance your child's needs and your job. Unless your job is very, very casual and flexible, you need child care, whether in your home or outside it.

My children go to a child care center a few minutes from home. WAHM still beats WOHM for me by a mile, because I avoid commuting, I am available if someone gets sick (or if I do--hellooooo morning sickness), and I can do things like fold laundry while I'm on the phone--which means I don't have to do those kinds of chores when my kids are at home and ready to play.

[hedra]

I had a job where I could work from home periodically. I found that it took a great deal of discipline (especially with my first) to work from home while my child/ren were there. Even though DH was a SAHD, and I trusted him entirely, any time the boyo whined, cried, whimpered, laughed, or squealed, my brain was gone - it was with him, wanting to know what was happening, was he happy, was the issue fixed, would it be better if I was there?

Without someone there, forget it. I had people asking me that all the time at work - when I worked from home, did I get a break on daycare costs (later, when we were using daycare)? Um, no. I can't work from home with kids there! Even sick kids who are sleeping a lot won't give me a good day's work. I can now get about 6 hours out of 8 if my older two are home (5 and 9), but with the younger two, I can get maybe 1-2 out of 8.

Before my first was born, I also had fantasies about how much I'd accomplish while the baby slept or played. Um, no. I was lucky to get a shower. And that's even though he was a champion sleeper, and totally reliable each day (same exact feed times, even demand feeding, every blessed day, and even fussy stages he'd just change to new feed times and stick with those! Lucky me! Last child that did that, too.).

So, definitely at least a mother's helper part time (college students are handy that way - if you can offer flexible hours, they're happy!). That and some discipline on your part, and you can likely get some work in. It will take practice to get your focus to stay on track even then, but it can be done.

[laura]

I concur with the poster who said that it WON'T work if the callers are supposed to think you are at the office, but its fine if you can give a little disclaimer at the start of the call.

Murphy's Mothering Laws dictate that your child will a) cry b) throw up c)spill something horribly staining on something white and expensive at the moment when the call gets really rolling and the client is talking. Its very crazymaking. Avoid it!

[AmyinMotown]

I would do the same thing Fahri did, but STILL she would inevitably lose her mind minutes after I would get a call and I would have to try to take notes, juggle a baby, or stand at the side of her crib and make funny faces at her. It wasn't one of those "You might hear him" things, it was "please ignore the bloodcurdling screaming in the background." I would (and still often do) warn interview subjects I work out of my home with a small child, but I was also writing about schools so was interviewing lots of people who understand being child-centered. If I were covering, say, the auto beat it would be a lot harder. When she got older, she wanted to play with my laptop while I was trying to take notes or grab at my paper or play with the phone. So while it can, maybe, work without childcare in the first few months, you'll need help by 4-5 months when they start grabbing at and investigating EVERYTHING. I had minimal childcare and only worked part time and it was so incredibly stressful--like Moxie says, there were times when I was doing a prettty crappy job of both mothering and working, which did little for my new sense of self as a mother and a worker.

I remember telling a client who is also a longtime family friend that I would be having the baby around Thanksgiving and then back to work by the first of the year, which gave me like five whole weeks to get it together. She laughed and said, "Oh no, honey, more like five months" and damn if she wasn't right.

[bec 36]

Ever since I went back to work after my first son was born, I have been working at home on Fridays. And I get the same kind of comments that hedra does--EVERYONE assumes that I am working at home so that I can be with the kids (I also have people at work saying things like "oh, that's right, you're off on Fridays" to which I always reply, "well, no, I'm WORKING at home.") If my day care provider for my 1-year-old is sick, I can get about 3 hours of work done during his nap, but that's it. When son #1 was little I once experimented with having a modular playyard set up by the computer, and he actually did play quietly by himself for about 20 minutes. But you can't ignore a kid all day while you work. Then again, moms have figured out ways to accomplish amazing things, so I think that whatever you want to do, you can make it happen with proper preparation. Good luck!

bec :D

[electriclady]

Not a mom yet, so I don't have firsthand experience of juggling work and baby, but having spent five years working from home a while ago, I can say that if phones are any part of the job, I would think some kind of childcare/helper situation would be needed. It's hard enough trying to be professional when the phone rings while you're in the middle of, say, doing the dishes and you have to drop everything and race to your desk with soapy hands. When you're elbow-deep in diaper, or baby needs attention, I can only imagine it's ten times harder.

On the other hand, there's my mother-in-law's solution, said to me while she was criticizing a woman she knows who works from home and has her kids in daycare: "I mean, you can just put the baby in a walker and go do your work." Oy.

[pnuts mama]

from my own experience (i work from home on a part time freelance basis and am also a grad student) i have found it to be extremely challenging to find the right balance. i would also validate what amy in motown mentioned about being a new mom and trying to figure out who i am now and for me it took much longer than 5 months- i can honestly say we were much closer to a year before the "new normal" of having a baby was really normal. this will sound cliche, but please do not underestimate how the sleep deprivation of having an infant will affect your daily life (and your ability to plug back in to 'work mode'). even if you are lucky enough to have a baby who sleeps through the night at 2 weeks, that means he or she will be up longer during the day and will be needing more of your attention then. I am lucky enough that i set my own schedule for during her naps, but as someone else mentioned don't underestimate the short bursts of time the baby will sleep in the beginning (up to 5/6 months sometimes) between feedings as being the opportunities you'll want to nap, shower, read the mail, eat something, make phone calls, etc. after six/seven months, when the sleep and feeding patterns are a little more established, it got a bit easier to schedule calls or meetings at specific times of the day (always keeping in mind that this could be the day when all bets are off). and I agree sometimes having someone in house with you watching the baby can be tough b/c of course since you are there you may feel the pull to jump in whenever an issue comes up. it's tough but definitely give yourself plenty of time and options to find what will be the right answer for your family, and let go of unrealistic expectations early- I wish I had, i know now it would have cut down on my disappointment with never having being able to get enough done everyday.

[Tina B.]

I've been working full time since my son was 13 weeks, part-time at home and part-time in the office. I would say I am able to answer the phone 20% of the time when DS is awake. I plan all my calls when he is sleep or when I am in the office. It is not impossible, but if you need to answer the phone when you need to answer the phone it won't work. My son has been chatty ever since I returned to work. So chances are he might not have been crying, but was definitely cooing and awwing. This worked for some phone calls, but not for others.

[PJ]

What a great topic. I am also a full-time working mom, part time at home and part time in the office. It is a hard balancing act and I don't really know if there are enough resources out there to research this kind of set up before you decide on it. I have an incredibly flexible job and boss and my son cooperates most days (his schedule is pretty predictable). I don't have child care for him, but can call either Gramma if I have a rough day ahead. I don't know if this would really be doable for me with more than one child. It is definitely getting more challending now that my son is 10 months old. He's crawling everywhere and I can only really work when he's napping. My work then waits until the baby's bedtime.

[Carla Hinkle]

I used to work part time outside the home and occasionally would need to take calls on my days off -- I'm an attorney so professionalism is an absolute necessity. I found it impossible to take a call in what I felt was a professional manner unless someone was watching the baby, no matter what age she was (she is now almost 3).

I now work part time at home (different job) and have a babysitter for 2 afternoons per week. My work is much more flexible now, but I still schedule all calls, etc for when the babysitter is here. Otherwise I just don't feel like I am doing a good job or giving a professional impression.

I think the paperwork job sounds do-able but even then, you should if at all possible get some childcare. I don't think the full-time, taking calls job would work without significant childcare.

Good luck!

[Prue]

Hi I agree with you I applied for a telecommute job but I didn't went ahead on the interview, I have a little one and I really thought that phone job isn't a good Idea. I am working as a Chacha search guide. I love my job even though my child screams at the background it does not matter
my client wouldn't hear him. If you want to apply as a guide I will be glad to help. After all were all moms with the same agenda.

[Charisse]

Pretty much what everybody said--I went back to work when Mouse was 6 months, with 4 days in the office and one at home. During Mr. C's paternity leave it worked OK. Then he went back to work and for the first month we only had 3 days of care but we were both working full time. (She was 8 months at the time.) So we each took a "work at home" day when we also cared for Mouse. Because we both worked in fairly email-oriented companies, it was possible to be, well, present on those days but productive was pretty out of the question. When I had conference calls I would just unmute myself only when I was actually speaking and explain the situation if I had to. If there was a really important one I'd have to arrange care for that hour. Working on documents would have to wait until naptime, which for Mouse tended to be 45 mins or less, so not that much getting done.

So...it's pretty possible to be plausibly "at work" for a day if your company is net-focused--you can IM or email even with an 8-month-old grabbing for your mouse (treat it like a cell phone, drag out an old broken one for her) but phone is real tough. I think it would be extremely hard to make it work for every day unless you had some care for part of the day.

[jessica]

From my own experience I agree that working from home when you're by yourself with a small child is extremely difficult.

My daughter is 14 months now, and on the occasion that I work from home (I am able to shift workload and I'm not on the phone) I still put her with the sitter because otherwise I'd never get anything done. She wants me to play with her all day.

[Jess]

If you decide that your main concern is the noise of a crying baby, they just introduced these: http://www.tgdaily.com/2007/01/09/ces2007_jawbone_headset/
at CES. I saw them in action and they were very cool. The person on the phone had a vaccum cleaner running right next to them and you could almost not hear it on the other end.

[Missy]

I didn't get a chance to read all the comments, but when I was recently on maternity leave, people I talked to on the phone could always hear baby noises that I barely noticed. Even if I was nursing or just had him sitting quietly (so I thought) on my lap, everyone would say "ohhhh, I can hear him." Granted these were friends and family that knew I had a baby. But once you get used to your baby's noises, you don't really even notice them anymore and other people might.

[Shelley]

For a time I worked 3 days in the office, 2 days at home with my daughter. It was enormously challenging to get a decent 6 hours in at home because of all the interruptions, and phone calls weren't part of the picture. Once she became mobile, and I mean just creeping, WOH became completely out of the question without childcare. I ultimately worked a deal where I took a pay cut for working an 80% schedule rather than 100% (which means I get two afternoons a week off with her), and my husband takes those mornings, which he fortunately has the flexibility to do.

[CathyY]

Do not torture yourself by attempting to take calls and care for your infant at the same time. It will be hard enough to do the paperwork during naps as you watch laundry pile up, need a nap yourself, need to eat, need to make dinner, need to shower, need to check e-mail, and watch the dust pile up on the dresser... Been there, done that. Very hard. I switched to a position where I make my own schedule - I still work p/t from home, though. When my daughter started walking at 11 months she started going two days a week to an in-home daycare. Perfect for us both!

Very jealous about the Bahamas... can we trade? ;)

[kelli]

It is very challenging to work at home with the kids. I run a freelance web design & maintenance company from my home office. I've been doing it for about 7 years, through the birth of my two sons (with a short leave after they were born) now 1 and 3.

Most of the work that I do is not oriented with a specific timeframe, except one day a week where I do PR postings at a specific time of day. I also USED to do user testing and screening over the phone, but that became a problem since I could not rely on the regularity of naps. It really depends if you are going to be MAKING the calls (and can choose the time), or if you will be receiving calls at random time.

I take on small contracts and short-term contracts for clients. It works for me to have a little bit of work every week with an occasional big project.

Much of my work is done over email and the web. I edit and post documents for review, so I can work in short bursts of time during the day. My biggest problems are knowing when I'll have the time to work on projects and keeping track of the little bits I do here and there. Most of my work is done when I first get up in the morning, when the 1-year old is napping, and in the evening and over the weekend when my husband is home.

I don't earn as much money as I would if I did this full time, of course. But, I'm able to have a flexible schedule (I'm doing a co-op preschool with the 3-year-old using one morning of exchanged babysitting for the 1-year-old).

Somehow, it's worked out for me. Two of the people that I work with on my contracts are due to have babies in the new year--I'm sure that they will then understand why I can't always answer my cell phone promptly!

[Bobbi]

When my son was five weeks old I started to do some work from home, only about 6-8 hours a week. It was so easy (I had an easy baby for the first 4 months) that I asked for more work thinking it would only get better! Well, I was so wrong. I truly did not realize that working from home with a baby would get harder as he got older. I just thought since I would be getting more and more confident as a new mother that I would be more efficient at everything, not taking into account babies become mobile, etc. I still work at home with no childcare, but only part time and I do much of it before he wakes and after bed and always during naps. It is tough, but I like the extra money and it is a challenge. Not many phone calls need to be made during the day, I am able to email most clients and my boss is very understanding. Good luck in whatever you decide!

[Shandra]

"I had minimal childcare and only worked part time and it was so incredibly stressful--like Moxie says, there were times when I was doing a prettty crappy job of both mothering and working, which did little for my new sense of self as a mother and a worker. "

That sums up the last 6 months for me in some ways. :) I'm actually hiring a PT nanny right now.

I ditto what everyone else has said. It's totally /possible/ to work from home but you definitely need supports, with childcare at the top of the list.

(Best phone call situation - I'd been trying to track someone down for days and they finally called me so I sat down with my son on my lap and a pen in hand to take notes. Sadly I had been changing a diaper and yes, he peed all over me. I can't say I was as focused as I should have been.)

What I have to add in this discussion is that when you try to juggle two jobs (childcare, your job) at the same time it can be awfully hard mentally to get space to do good work.

I can do a lot of things in chunks of ten to fifteen minutes (which is about all I get with the babe away, and even nap time seems to go that way many days), but to push though to get a final polished product it needs to have my time and energy, which doesn't tend to come (for me) after an exhausting day or crammed into little bits. Originally my husband was going to give me that time on weekends but for a variety of reasons it hasn't worked that well (and has cut into our mutual family time a lot; it is of course middle-class privilege to bitch about that.)

Now if your paperwork is the kind that works in those chunks it could be /brilliant!/ :-)

[Shandra]

err, the babe /awake/ - ha, see? :)

[Tana]

I'm going to say it is possible, but you have to understand a few things about the reality of working while caring for a child.

First of all, the first year will be the hardest. The amount of change between a newborn and a one-year-old is huge. So what works this week might not work next week. For me, once we got to 18 months, it was quite managable; before that, it was a challenge but doable.

My mom stayed home with me. She didn't have a job-job, but she was always busy working. She was never my playmate. She gardened, sewed, cooked, and did all sorts of domestic things. I played independently alongside her. My three-year-old does the same as I did. When I'm in the office, he "works" at his desk. When I'm on the phone, he has a luggage tag he loves to hold to his ear like mommy's phone. I discipline by snapping my finger, pointing, and having children that aren't behavior problems when I'm not working.

Right now I have a three-month-old baby as well. Forget the sleep-when-baby-sleeps advice as that is the only time you will have to work. When they are awake, you take a break and enjoy interacting with them or doing things around the house.

I have a sling that I wear baby in, and he is very happy as long as I am moving. I can talk on the phone with him in it without any problems. He also enjoys his swing and watching his mobile.

The key with an infant is understanding that you are tied to THEIR schedule, not yours. I mostly make calls, and for the most part, they are short (five minutes or less). I also receive a few calls, but I am able to handle them as well. I have a head-set and can wear my phone so my hands are free. When my hands aren't free it's much trickier.

As for the type of work, I think that the paperwork only would be much easier the first year. Infants are just so unpredictable and they go through so many changes so just because it works this week doesn't mean it will work next week. And focus on accomplishing tasks rather than putting in a certain amount of time. If you're task oriented, it's much easier to get things done. Understand that you will have interruptions, and that if a task takes you one hour without interruptions, plan on it taking two hours while also caring for you baby. If you focus on the task rather than the clock, you won't get so stressed out if you work in seven-minute increments at times.

Infants sleep for four to six hours during the day, less later on but they can play and entertain themselves more. For the first year, if you have to work between the hours of 8 and 5, don't expect to get much more than four hours or so of serious work in. If you have a flexible work schedule, you can work eight hours if you set your mind to it, but it has to be your one, all-important focus, and you may be putting in your last hour for the day late in the evening. If you can relax and spread out your work like that, it isn't bad. Interruptions simply become part of your day, and you have the blessing of being there when your kids need you.

So it can work, in my opinion, if you have the right job and the right attitude.

[Leggy]

I have been working from home for 3 years and have a six year old. Most of my work involves conference calls and being on the phone for 30-60 minutes at a time. In my experience, it is just not possible to work from home and be the primary caretaker, even with a slightly older child, who theoretically can watch TV for a little while while you are on the phone. The only way to do it is to have childcare. That's my advice.